T U E S D A Y APRIL 1, 2003
THE BROWN DAILY HERALD Volume CXXXVIII, No. 42
An independent newspaper serving the Brown community since 1891
www.browndailyherald.com
Scurvy rages SIMMONS BREAKS ANKLE IN MTV on campus; MISHAP; UNIVERSITY CRIPPLED death count President’s Spring rises to four Break turns into BY BLUEBEARD GABLONSKY
Scurvy, the most common cause of death before 1700, is back with a vengeance on Brown’s campus, with four students dead and over a dozen others paying dearly for their aversion to fresh fruit and vegetables. Their symptoms include loose teeth, decayed fingernails and adoption of the “frog position” characteristic of scurvy sufferers. Caused by a lack of vitamin C or ascorbic acid, scurvy is most common among artificially fed infants and the mentally retarded. However, college students who fail to make healthy choices in their school cafeterias may also fall victim to the disease, said Dr. Edward Wheeler, director of Health Services. The onset of scurvy is usually abrupt, beginning with severe pain in an arm or leg, and progressing until the slightest see SCURVY, page 6
Cooper Nelson brings peace to the Middle East BY CORGAN GLENDEL
University Chaplain Janet Cooper Nelson emerged from months of secret negotiations yesterday to announce a resolution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. After a non-denominational prayer for peace and understanding, Cooper Nelson addressed Palestinian leader Yassir Arafat and Israeli leader Ariel Sharon, asking them to put aside their differences. Insider sources close to the negotiations said that the key factor in bringing the two sides to agreement was Cooper Nelson’s insightful quoting of Maya Angelou. Cooper Nelson, reached in her hotel in Poughkepsiee, N.Y., where the summit took place, was characteristically modest. “I came prepared with several pertinent passages. Once I had Arafat and Sharon in the same room, it was merely a matter of letting Ms. Angelou do her work,” she said. The inside source said “Arafat’s already rheumy eyes filled with tears as Cooper Nelson’s low, soothing voice calmed the conflict with heart-wrenching passages from ‘I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.’” Even the normally militant Sharon was seen quietly speaking along to Cooper Nelson’s words. At Cooper Nelson’s urging, Sharon accepted an invitation to wear Arafat’s trademark kaffiyeh, while Arafat ceremoniously placed Sharon’s yarmulke on his head. According to Cooper Nelson, the two leaders finally understood “what it means to walk a mile in another man’s religious head covering.” Together, the three danced a rousing “hora for peace” before retiring
spring compound fracture, hangover BY MANUEL FEID
Splurging on a weeklong jaunt to Miami seemed like a great idea to President Ruth Simmons and three other University administrators. But with tequila flowing like water at an MTV-sponsored bash Friday night, the University president’s hard partying caught up with her — she returned to Providence with a “massive hangover” and a broken leg, she told The Herald on Monday. “I still have no idea how it happened,” Simmons chuckled. “I didn’t realize I’d broken anything until I woke up the next day.” After a long day in the sun doing body shots with Dean of the College Paul Armstrong, Simmons “was spiraling out of control,” said Tiffany, a junior at Arizona State University who declined to give
Racey Starr / Herald
see RUTH, page 4
Although security guards tried their best to shielf a broken Ruth Simmons from the public eye, a photographer managed to capture this stirring image of the president.
New UCS Committee Committee Underground to ‘dangerously efficient,’ Feliz says reopen with a new BY ESME AMERGIN
At its meeting Monday night, the Undergraduate Council of Students voted to create a Committee Committee, which will oversee the creation and management of UCS subcommittees and joint committees on which UCS members serve. Over the past few years, UCS’ decision-making process has become “dangerously efficient,” said UCS President Allen Feliz ’03. “The way UCS is organized now, we can’t effectively serve as a liaison between the student body and the administration,” Feliz said. “There just isn’t enough red tape.” Council members discussed several instances when it made decisions on somewhat important issues after mere weeks of debate. This semester alone, the Council passed resolutions opposing the formation of a new residential life oversight committee and the addition of pluses and minuses to the grading system, and discussed affirmative action and the future of the Underground. Opposing the new residential life
committee was “just the sort of mistake we’re creating (the Committee Committee) to prevent,” said UCS Communications Chair Joel Payne ’05. Payne said he barely remembers voting on the residential life committee, which UCS debated at its March 19 meeting. He said he has “no idea” how the Council arrived at a decision so quickly and in retrospect questioned the wisdom of the vote. “I mean, it’s a committee, for God’s sake,” Payne said. “We love committees!” In the future, the Council will have to wait at least a month for the Committee Committee to review decisions regarding committee formation. The Committee Committee will also help UCS manage general debate by creating a new committee for each issue. Dean for Campus Life Margaret Jablonski welcomed the Council’s decision. “I think a Committee Committee is a great idea,” she said. “With an additional layer of administrative gridlock, there’s much less danger of UCS actually doing anything.”
After an unsuccessful attempt to reopen the Underground as a 21-and-over only establishment, the bar’s managers and the Office of Student Life have decided to take the pub in a new direction, as a fetish club. Underground General Manager Ally Dickie ’03 said the bar’s new direction largely came about after persistent and successful lobbying by BASESL, the Brown Alliance of Students Espousing Sadomasochistic Lifestyles. “Frankly, we had to do something,” Dickie said, referring to the Underground’s low turnout after its reopening. “Even Zox only drew a crowd of three. Fetish seemed the way to go.” The needs of students of all fetishistic backgrounds have long been ignored on this campus, said BASESL Co-President Manfred Wilberton ’05. “It seems like everyone has a safe space but us,” he told The Herald. Members of PURAIC, Plushies United to Raise Awareness and Initiate Change, agreed with the points put forth by BASESL and signed a 20-signature petition circulated see UNDERGROUND, page 4
I N S I D E T U E S D AY, A P R I L 1 , 2 0 0 3 Cianci escapes to Macedonia after using spoon to dig out of a New Jersey prison metro,page 3
BY SONNY VAG
see UCS COMM., page 4
see COOPER NELSON, page 4
Cicilline not gay or Jewish and used lies to gain votes in the Brown community metro,page 3
direction: fetish
TO D AY ’ S F O R E C A S T Administrators tell their crazy spring break stories gone wild page 5
Uninformed freshman attempts to solve the Middle East crisis with lame advice opinions, page 11
Cheerleading squad replaced by Foxy Lady employees to boost school spirit at games sports, page 12
p.m.snow high 42 low 33