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departments 6 THE HIGHROAD: Wall Street plowboys 7 DANISH PLAN: The Cannonball River slobs

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Publisher, Stewart Sallo Associate Publisher, Fran Zankowski Director of Operations/Controller, Benecia Beyer Circulation Manager, Cal Winn EDITORIAL Editor, Joel Dyer Senior Editor, Angela K. Evans Entertainment Editor, Amanda Moutinho Special Editions Editor, Caitlin Rockett Contributing Writers: John Lehndorff, Peter Alexander, Dave Anderson, Rob Brezsny, Michael J. Casey, Gavin Dahl, Paul Danish, James Dziezynski, Sarah Haas, Jim Hightower, Dave Kirby, Michael Krumholtz, Brian Palmer, Leland Rucker, Dan Savage, Alan Sculley, Ryan Syrek, Gregory Thorson, Christi Turner, Tom Winter, Gary Zeidner, Mollie Putzig, Mariah Taylor, Betsy Welch, Noël Phillips, Carolyn Oxley Interns, Billy Singleton, Carolyn Davidson, Preston Bryant, Ayako Itoi, Ximena Leyte SALES AND MARKETING Retail Sales Manager, Allen Carmichael Senior Account Executive, David Hasson Account Executive, Julian Bourke Inside/Outside Account Executive, Andrea Ralston Market Development Manager, Kellie Robinson Marketing Manager, Devin Edgley Mrs. Boulder Weekly, Mari Nevar PRODUCTION Production Manager, Dave Kirby Art Director, Susan France Graphic Designer, Mark Goodman Assistant to the Publisher Julia Sallo CIRCULATION TEAM Dave Hastie, Dan Hill, George LaRoe, Jeffrey Lohrius, Elizabeth Ouslie, Rick Slama 17-Year-Old, Mia Rose Sallo Cover: Courtesy of Shane Koyczan March 2, 2017 Volume XXIV, Number 30 As Boulder County's only independently owned newspaper, Boulder Weekly is dedicated to illuminating truth, advancing justice and protecting the First Amendment through ethical, no-holdsbarred journalism and thought-provoking opinion writing. Free every Thursday since 1993, the Weekly also offers the county's most comprehensive arts and entertainment coverage. Read the print version, or visit www.boulderweekly.com. Boulder Weekly does not accept unsolicited editorial submissions. If you're interested in writing for the paper, please send queries to: editorial@boulderweekly.com. Any materials sent to Boulder Weekly become the property of the newspaper. 690 South Lashley Lane, Boulder, CO, 80305 p 303.494.5511 f 303.494.2585 editorial@boulderweekly.com www.boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly is published every Thursday. No portion may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. © 2016 Boulder Weekly, Inc., all rights reserved.

Boulder Weekly welcomes your correspondence via email (letters@ boulderweekly.com) or the comments section of our website at www.boulderweekly.com. Preference will be given to short letters (under 300 words) that deal with recent stories or local issues, and letters may be edited for style, length and libel. Letters should include your name, address and telephone number for verification. We do not publish anonymous letters or those signed with pseudonyms. Letters become the property of Boulder Weekly and will be published on our website.

6 March 2, 2017

the

Highroad Wall Street plowboys by Jim Hightower

love the names: Bobcat Farm, Golden Eagle Ranch, Long Prairie, Pintail Vineyard, Roadrunner Ranch, and Ten Mile Farm. They conjure up Americana, the old homeplace, and our rich rural culture. Less bucolic, however, is the fact that all are part of a massive Wall Street investment scheme called Farmland Partners Inc. It’s run by a couple of slicks trained in mergers and acquisitions as executives at the investment powerhouse, Merrill Lynch. Rather than sodbusters, Farmland Partners are

taxbusters, using a legalistic plow called REIT (Real Estate Investment Trust) to get enormous tax breaks to subsidize their scheme. With this special subsidy, the Partners have attracted hundreds of millions of dollars from investors to buy up farms and ranches — they now own 295 ag properties covering 144,000 acres in 16 states. Of course, the Wall Street plowboys don’t soil their own soft hands by actually farming. No, no — the syndicate hires tenant farmers to do the sweaty work of plowing, planting and nurturing the crops. This tenant system produces a double-line cash flow for the faraway owners — Farmland Partners charges the tenants rent for tilling the corporate soil, then the Partners harvest a sweet share of any profits from the sale of crops the tenants produce. Meanwhile, the young farmers

For more information on Jim Hightower’s work — and to subscribe to his award-winning monthly newsletter, The Hightower Lowdown — visit www.jimhightower.com.

America desperately needs — those who actually want to, you know, farm — are having a hard time finding affordable land to get started. These new generation farmers can easily be out-bid for good land by Wall Street speculators who have the cash flow from tenants and the subsidy from taxpayers to underwrite their financial contrivance. To prevent the money schemers from literally walling off young farmers, and to fight this insidious Wall Street takeover of agriculture, connect with www.YoungFarmers.org. This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly. Boulder Weekly

danish plan The Cannonball River slobs by Paul Danish

he activists protesting the Dakota Access Pipeline call themselves “Water Protectors,” but there’s a more evocative one-syllable Anglo-Saxonism that better describes them. Slobs. Now that the last of the Protectors have been hauled out of the protest camp, authorities have been better able to take the measure of the mess they left behind — which can be described most charitably as post-Woodstockian. Or more plainly as a dump in training to be a Superfund site. Here’s some of what has emerged so far: According to an ABC News story on February 15, local and federal officials estimated that there was enough trash and debris in the camp to fill about 2,500 pickup trucks. That conservatively works out to somewhere between 1,250 and 3,750 tons, depending on what size pick-up truck they’re talking about. Even before the last protesters left, 240 rollout dumpster loads had been removed. The garbage ranges from ordinary household trash to building debris and human waste, according to Morton County Emergency Manager Tom Doering. “There’s more garbage down there than anybody anticipated,” he added. At the time North Dakota Governor Doug Burgum said the state would hire additional contractors and worry about who would pay them later. That’s because there’s a real sense of urgency about the clean-up due to the fact that the Water Protectors had, insanely, built their camp on the Cannonball River flood plain. If the spring melt causes flooding this year, as it routinely does, the camp’s detritus could end up in the Cannonball River and then in the Missouri River. And as of last week, the area was experiencing an early melt, which had turned the camp into a quagmire. “I don’t want to sit around and argue about who’s going to pay for it while we’ve got buildings floating down the Missouri River,” Burgum said. Not to mention cars. According to George Kuntz, vice president of the North Dakota Towing Boulder Weekly

Association, as of February 18 there were 200 vehicles in the camp, including cars, pickups and rental trucks. “You’re not going to just go in there with a tow truck,” Kuntz said. “We’re going to have to go in with heavy equipment to be able to get these vehicles out of there, get them to the roadway, load them and haul them. We’re going to run 24 hours a day,” he added. (It’s not clear how many vehicles were still there as of last weekend when the camp was finally emptied of protesters, nor is it clear why so many vehicles might have been left behind. It may be some couldn’t be moved because of the mud or because they belonged to protesters who had been arrested. There were more than 600 arrests during the protest.) “You’ve got oil leaking out, you’ve got gas,” said Bob Keller, public information officer for the Morton County Sheriff ’s Department. “You talk about wanting to protect the water, and yet not a lot of people are staying around to clean up what they started.” Garbage, shit and cars weren’t the only things the protesters left in the camp. Two dogs and six puppies that were abandoned were removed from the camp by Furry Friends Rockin’ Rescue, a local animal rescue group. They think there are more but are having a hard time finding them because the loud machinery is scaring the animals. Some of the animals that were rescued had frost bitten ears, patchy fur, and mange. Kuntz made the obvious point about the protest: “How do you just totally destroy something? How do you not care about something that you are here saying that you care about?” How indeed. The Water Protectors, for all their green posturing and animistic pieties, really amounted to little more than an Occupy Wall Street Anarchist/Syndicalist gig in green drag. The Water Protectors’ camp didn’t look all that different from any one of dozens of abandoned Occupy Wall Street protest camps — only filthier and bigger. The entire protest was a greenwashed fraud. No environmentalist with a shred see DANISH PLAN Page 8

letters Get loud

We all have been thrown into a time of drastic change, whether or not we expected or wanted it to come. The climate is changing; the way the world works; and politics and people have become extreme. The choice is simple, either sit back and do nothing but complain or get up and do something. We need to take our fear, anxiety and anger, and turn it into something more effective like prolonged action. Make your voice heard. Call your representatives especially those at the City and State levels, because if we cannot change things locally how can we expect them to change nationally. Get out and participate in cooperative actions in your home town or at the Capital. Hopefully, we can create our own political “wall” to keep #45’s policies out of our State. If we make these actions happen, over time we can ensure that our politicians are focused on our loud voices rather than those of the lobbyists. I’ve heard that there are 52 paid oil and gas lobbyists in our state. Just think of what might happen when 50-plus citizens are there to meet them with an alternative view. Our voices have to grow louder. Our democracy is eroding right before our eyes. Jake C./Longmont

A voice for peace

Humanity wants peace, but peace seems a far off goal. According to the International Peace Bureau, “The world’s governments are spending more than $1.7 trillion a year on their militaries, more than at the peak of

Cold War.” $100 billion of this is going toward the production and modernization of nuclear weapons, weapons which would destroy the planet, humanity and all living beings if used in an all-out war. The United States spends as much on our military as the next 10 countries combined. The figures for what we spend annually range from $773.5 billion to over a trillion dollars, depending on what is counted. China spends about a quarter of what we spend, Russia one-tenth. How do we get to peace when we spend more than 54 percent of our tax dollars on war and the preparations for war? How do we protect our environment, address climate change, fix our roads and bridges, fund our schools and health care, and take care of the elderly when the majority of our tax dollars are spent on the military? We appear to need some help. Maybe a voice from another continent would give us some ideas on how to address our present dilemma. Reiner Braun has been a German peace activist since 1982 and is the co-president of the International Peace Bureau based in Berlin Germany. He’s has also been the executive director of several peace organizations in his career. He will be speaking on the relations between U.S., NATO and Russia, a topic that has been highlighted in the national news lately. Braun will speak on Friday, March 3, at 7 p.m. at the Eaton Humanities Building, Room 250 at CU Boulder. The event is free see LETTERS Page 8

March 2, 2017 7

letters LETTERS from Page 7

and sponsored by the Rocky Mountain Peace and Justice Center. For more info: Carolyn@rmpjc.org. Carolyn Bninski/Boulder

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It appears that our newly selected leader and lover of “reality “ shows is in need of a bit of advice in language he can understand: “Comrade 45, since it has become evident that you have outlived your entertainment value and have in fact become a liability , YOU’RE FIRED!!! So... Thank you for your service. You may now return to your Daddy’s Golden Tower... Goodbye! Tommy Holeman/Christiansted U.S.V.I

Boulder can lead

The qualities of ingenuity and innovation are what drew me to pursue an education in a city like Boulder. Nothing is more inspiring to the minds of eager undergraduates than the possibility of moving forward or progressing towards a better tomorrow. As a junior at CU, I am constantly excited by Boulder’s positioning at the forefront of progress, particularly when it comes to tackling the issue of climate change. Due to the threats of the federal agenda, taking action locally is more pressing now than ever. We need to address climate change before it’s too late. We have the unique opportunity to lead the way for environmental policy throughout the country by adopting a

municipal utility. Boulder has always demonstrated its commitment to sustainable environmental policy, and transitioning to a renewables-based power supply would display the qualities of ingenuity and innovation that Boulder is valued for. City Council recently adopted a Climate Commitment Goals of 100 percent renewable electricity by 2030. The best way for us to do this is through a locally controlled utility. Boulder voters have voted twice in favor of municipalization, and we should respect this vote and commit to moving forward on these plans. Our community forged a new path for Boulder’s environmental policy, one that will have nation-wide implications once our city’s plan achieves success, and so I strongly urge City Council to uphold this vote. Caylin Enoch/Boulder

The Diet of Lent

March 1st marks the beginning of Lent, the 40-day period preceding Easter, when many Christians abstain from animal foods in remembrance of Jesus’ 40 days of fasting in the wilderness before launching his ministry. The call to refrain from eating animals is as old as the Bible. In Genesis 1:29, God commands humans to eat only plants; then Prophet Isaiah predicts that “none will hurt or destroy on God’s holy mountain.” A number of Christian leaders have followed the call, including Methodist see LETTERS Page 9

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of integrity and self-respect would have conducted a protest like the socalled Water Protectors did, because to protest with such a reckless disregard for the environment delegitimizes both the protest and the cause. Nihilistic radicals on the other hand would fail to see the contradiction, because to them the violence and vandalism is the object of the exercise. Nor was there ever a chance that the protest would stop or even delay oil production from the Bakken, which was its real agenda. Not in a country that consumes 19.4 million barrels of petroleum products a day (7 billion barrels a year). The American people would never stand for that, nevermind

Trump. The only question was whether the oil would be shipped out of North Dakota by train or pipeline. Rail shipment is five times more prone to accident pipelines. Maybe the Water Protectors weren’t entirely aware of this, but it is a safe bet that their enablers and backers in major U.S. environmental organizations like the Sierra Club and Greenpeace were. But that didn’t stop those worthies from encouraging the poor bastards in the camp from freezing their asses off and desecrating a supposedly sacred site, in order to perpetuate a bright, shining lie. This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly. Boulder Weekly

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letters

Another postcard to Donald, president It was only late yesterday afternoon when I discovered the reason my latest postcard to the nation’s “reality chief executive officer” hadn’t been picked up. News broadcasts announced that it was Presidents Day, and that many thousands in at least a dozen cities around the country were holding “Not My President’s Day” protests. So now, this message from my postcard (one side of which was mainly devoted to an Adam Zyglis Buffalo News cartoon titled “The HAND that FEEDS HIM,” which depicts Donald J. Trump as a fanged attack dog holding in his salivating jaws an amputated forearm of The Media still holding the microphone Trump so much needs) will be a follow-up to those wonderful persisters’ communications: My post card says: Donald, this is how it’s going, and the world sees a pattern: You and/or the people you’ve hired make a big mistake and/or make up fake news, aka lies. The news media does its job, investigates and then, using reputable sources and evidence collected from named sources and/or leaks from people within your administration and/or other parts of the government, exposes your mistakes and lies, which makes you look worse and lose legitimacy. Desperate to regain reputation, you blanket-attack the news media with ridiculous namecalling — really, it sounds so pathetic — and more falsehoods. Boulder Weekly

“This past Friday, you tweeted that the news media is ‘the enemy of the American people.’ And yet, on November 22 of last year, after earlier in the day labeling the New York Times ‘failing’ — you’re getting to sound like a broken record with that one — you told editors and reporters of that same publication, in a closeddoor meeting, ‘I have great respect for the New York Times. I have tremendous respect.’ You even gushed that the paper was a ‘great, great American jewel.’ As long as you, sir, are an enemy of truth and decency, the news media will call you on it, and by doing so, they will be a friend and defender of the American people, not our enemy.” Your lies are wearing thin. Matt Nicodemus/Boulder

Conflicting pledges

An interesting set of conflicting pledges put Donald in the white house. Firstly, he said he would run the country like his businesses because he was a “very good deal maker.” Secondly, he promised he would “drain the swamp.” These pledges attracted both the wishful and the vengeful. Since his inauguration, though, we are witness to an inverted business model. The norm for industry is that all critical positions are occupied by the most qualified individuals, people who know the job and have the skills and temperament to do the work. You wouldn’t see Apple, General Motors or Boeing put Rick Perry in as head of engineering, Steve Bannon as chief strategist or, for that matter, Mother Teresa in as CEO. Those companies would fail within the first year. As for “draining the swamp”? Great! But why not refill it with lilies instead of roaches? Tom Lopez/Longmont

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founder John Wesley, Salvation Army founders William and Catherine Booth, Seventh-day Adventist Church founder Ellen G. White, and prominent evangelical leader Franklin Graham. A meat-free diet is not just about Christian devotion. Dozens of medical studies have linked consumption of animal products with elevated risk of heart failure, stroke, cancer, and other killer diseases. A United Nations report named meat production as the largest source of greenhouse gases and water pollution. Undercover investigations have documented farm animals being caged, crowded, mutilated, beaten, and shocked. Lent offers a superb opportunity to honor Christ’s powerful message of compassion, but also to protect the health of our family and our planet Earth by adopting a meat-free diet. Stanley Silver/Boulder

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National security

Beginning with fostering the birther movement and continuing through Kellyanne Conway’s “alternate facts,” the Trump phenomenon has been, shall we say, “sketchy” with the truth. It is understandable then that Michael Flynn might think the same standards held for him. That he did not consider that the Russian embassy phones were being monitored, however, is inexcusable for anyone aspiring to a national security post. The Ambassador had to be thinking, “How stupid can this guy be?” Robert Porath/Boulder March 2, 2017 9

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ON THE BILL: Reiner Braun speaks on prospects for peace between NATO/U.S and Russia. Hosted by the Rocky Mountain Peace and Justice Center. Friday, March 3. 7 p.m. The Eaton Humanities Building, Room 250 at The University of Colorado Boulder. For more information, please contact carolyn@rmpjc.org or 720-5093378.

German peace activist talks NATO, the U.S. and… Russia by Angela K. Evans

hile Americans celebrated President’s Day with a three-day weekend in the U.S., world leaders and international security experts gathered for the Munich Security Conference in Germany. Amid months of policy ambiguity from, first the Trump Campaign and subsequently the administration, U.S. Vice President Mike Pence assured everyone that the U.S. remains committed to the North-Atlantic Treaty Alliance (NATO), despite recent comments from the President suggesting the military alliance is “obsolete.” Pense further challenged other NATO member states to increase their defense spending to meet the obligations of the alliance. Although some were hopeful that Trump’s previous comments could mean a move away from the intense militarization and nuclear armament of the 20th century, Pence’s speech at the conference in Germany suggested a potential rapid growth in military spending throughout the world. Then, on Monday, Feb. 27, multiple reports emerged that Trump’s proposed budget would increase defense spending by almost 10 percent to the tune of $54 billion. In many ways, this affirms many peace activists’ fears about the rise of nationalist politics both in the U.S. and in Europe. “I have sometimes the feeling that the so-called old times are coming back even though we know it’s a total other situation,” says Reiner Braun, German peace activist and co-president of the Switzerlandbased International Peace Bureau (IPB). “There are differences but we have an equal situation where we are looking at a big war is again possible.” Braun grew up in Braunschweig, West Germany, but in relative proximity to the Iron Curtain. While a student in the late 1970s, he joined several peace activist groups protesting the increasing threat of nuclear missiles. “We really had the feeling in Europe and in my country that there was the danger of a big nuclear war,” he says. “And we were young and we don’t want to die so we engaged ourselves.” Since then Braun has been involved with many different peace groups and organizations, and has been co-president of the IPB since 2013. The organization, founded in 1891, estimates governments spend Boulder Weekly

a combined total of $1.8 trillion for militaries and armament throughout the world. “If we can reduce this by 10 percent we can have the money for the sustainable development goals, which were agreed upon at the United Nations in the last year,” Braun says. In the face of such startling statistics, Braun has been challenging the idea of NATO since the end of the Cold War, advocating instead for an inclusive security policy throughout Europe, one that doesn’t exclude one of the continent’s largest players: Russia. “The Western countries ... never want to have equal relations on the same eye level with Russia,” Braun says. “So they immediately started the enlargement of NATO to the east, which creates a lot of the existing problems today, like Ukraine.” In the absence of the East/West conflict of the Cold War, new power struggles and conflicts have emerged throughout the more globalized world. And NATO has responded. “NATO wanted to continue existing after the end of the Cold War era in 1990, and to exist you have to find new jobs to do,” Braun says. “And the new job for NATO was the politics of intervention all over the world. This was the background of being accepted again.” Rising tensions in the South China Sea, ethnic clashes in parts of Africa, the rise of terrorism in the Middle East and the civil war in Syria, all make the current militaristic landscape increasingly volatile. Add to this the rise of nationalist rhetoric and farright political parties fueled by “deeply disappointed people,” both in Europe and the U.S., and “a more consumer-oriented younger generation, which is much more individualistic,” and Braun says the world is ripe for large-scale conflict again. And although many on the far-Left want to blame the election of Donald Trump for escalating tensions,

Braun sees the American president as both a consequence and a promoter of them. “On the one side, Trump is the result of the globalized neo-liberalistic world of the last 25 or 30 years, with the deep division between poor and rich,” he says. “On the other side, Trump focused on deepening the crisis and the differences and made the danger of a big war even more realistic than it was in the past.” Moving forward, Braun suggests a politics of friendship in the government sector and the embrace of a “people’s diplomacy” elsewhere to repair the relationship between Russia and the West. “Peace in Europe is impossible without Russia so we have to look for the common interests,” he says. “When you want to have a friend, you have to look for someone with whom you can drink beer or vodka or wine. States have to look at their interests and find the common ones. These are the basics of politics for peace and security.” Braun draws from the success of the Helsinki Final Act signed in 1975 by European countries, the U.S.S.R., the U.S. and Canada, which in many ways paved the way for the dissolution of the Soviet Union. The Act, he says, supported the idea of a “people’s diplomacy” or broader engagement between the sectors of civil society in opposing countries. “We have to develop more and deeper contact from the basics of society and then hopefully we’ll have consequences in the more or less official politics,” he says. “It’s people’s engagement. It’s societal contacts. It’s contact between organizations from churches to trade unions ... it’s contacts between schools, scientists and artists. It’s common work together from both sides as much as possible.” It’s a method he currently advocates as a way of deescalating current conflicts to prevent all-out war between Russia and the West. “We have to come back to these politics,” he says. “This will not happen from today to tomorrow, but it worked then and hopefully it will work again.” March 2, 2017 11

NEWS

Susan France

Land of Indecision

A series of conflicting statements leaves Colorado officials and advocates wondering how the Trump administration will handle recreational marijuana

by Sarah Haas

t all started with White House press secretary Sean Spicer suggesting that the federal government would crack down on states that have legalized recreational marijuana. At a routine press conference on Feb. 23, Spicer responded to a reporter’s question about the Trump administration’s stance on recreational pot, a subject the administration had yet to specifically address. Spicer called medical and recreational pot “two distinct issues,” stressing the precedence of federal law only on the later (a 2011 rider prevents the Department of Justice from spending federal money to prosecute medical marijuana). Spicer said states could expect “greater enforcement” of federal laws against recreational marijuana use. The reaction from leaders of states that have legalized recreational pot was swift, with the governor of Washington and the lieutenant governor of California writing letters to the DOJ in defense of states’ rights. Although lagging a bit behind his peers, Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper eventually made statements in favor of legalization when he appeared on Meet the Press on Feb. 26. “There has been no spike in use by teenagers, and we’re getting anecdotal reports of less drug dealers,” 12 March 2, 2017

he said. “Maybe this system is better than what was admittedly a pretty bad system to begin with.” But exactly where state’s rights begin and end is still up for debate. On Monday, Jeff Sessions made his first comments on marijuana since being confirmed as Attorney General: “I am definitely not a fan of expanded use of marijuana, but states, they can pass the laws they choose,” he said. “I would just say, it does remain a violation of federal law to distribute marijuana throughout any place in the United States, whether a state legalizes it or not.” Brian Vicente, co-author of Amendment 64 and partner at marijuana law firm Vicente and Sederberg, says states have the right to decriminalize marijuana and the right to regulate an industry. But both are more complicated in this case due to federal law. “Obviously, this has not played out in court,” he says, “but there is a ton of case law that says states can have their own criminal laws, for example Alabama can institute the death penalty and Colorado can choose not to, so a state’s leeway on which activities are criminalized and to what degree is pretty clear and set in stone. “It’s the idea of states having regulated industries where there is an argument that those are illegal fed-

erally and that [the federal government] can come in and try to shake that up.” After Amendment 64 passed in 2012 Vicente says he, like many others, braced for inevitable conflict with the federal government on this very matter, but it never came. The Cole Memo laid out guidelines for states to avoid federal interference (follow state laws, keep marijuana away from youth and keep marijuana within state lines among the most important). The most significant legal challenge to date came on the issue of interfering with other states when Nebraska and Oklahoma sued Colorado for allegedly not keeping marijuana within its borders. The case, litigated by Vicente, was ultimately dropped, but Sessions said he met with Nebraska’s attorney general who continues to complain about the negative impact of Colorado’s marijuana industry on his state. Because of the reemergence of old issues like these, Boulder County District Attorney Stan Garnett says the changes afoot can not be relegated merely to different interpretations of federal and state law, but indicate a shift in priority. “There was never the idea that [the feds] couldn’t [crack down] just that they chose not to,” he says. “Whether it was a wise use of resources or not was the subject to debate. When it comes to prosecutorial priorities, when do you say, ‘OK, we are going to quit chasing terrorists, or locking up El Chapo, and instead we are going to go off and use federal resources to prosecute and close down dispensaries in the state of Colorado?’” As a member of a group of prosecutors from across the country advising the President on policies regarding marijuana, Garnett has rare perspective into those opposed to marijuana and says he is constantly Boulder Weekly

surprised by the lack of understanding of what the situation in states like Colorado actually is. “There are a lot of urban legends on both sides of the marijuana issue, but the anti-legalization forces, which are some traditional law enforcement and some other sources often paint a picture in Colorado that legalization and regulation has been a disaster.” On Monday, Sessions’ made a series of remarks to that effect, saying “Experts are telling me there’s more violence around marijuana than one would think.” But there seems to be near unilateral agreement among top Colorado officials and industry leaders that evidence is to the contrary. Echoing Governor Hickenlooper’s remarks from Meet the Press, Garnett says without hesitation: “Criminalization did not work — it was expensive, it was unfair and it was very disruptive. The legalization with regulation scheme seems to be working better, and it certainly is not creating the same level of random criminalization that occurred in the other system.” Garnett credits the success to the “legalization and regulation scheme,” to the combination of decriminalization and regulatory support. To dismantle one from the other, as the Trump administration is suggesting, is to essentially remove what makes the solution effective at all. Travis Howard, founder and CEO of Shift Cannabis Company and owner of a co-located license in Colorado, thinks that something bigger may be at work, an completely alternative scheme to regulated legalization — increased criminalization. His belief is based on his observation of three main indicators: actions by the private prisons; actions by big pharma; and concrete plans that come out of the DOJ via the White House. “If this becomes a concerted three-way effort — the jails, big pharma and the White House — then I would have a real concern about [what might come down on] the recreational side,” he says. Howard is referring to the ingredients of Trump’s “law and order,” a complex mechanism that requires a large and consistent supply of criminals (criminalized drug offenders), a place to put them (prisons) and a tightly regulated drug system (big pharma) in order to function as desired. For years, these sorts of theories were written off as “conspiratorial,” but in looking through the lens of legalization, they are no longer easily dismissed. The same day as Spicer’s comments on marijuana, Sessions approved the continued use of privately run prisons, reversing the Obama administration’s plans to phase them out and writing in a memo that reducing prisons “impaired the Bureau’s ability to meet Boulder Weekly

the future needs of the federal correctional system.” While it appears the Trump administration is paving the way for a return to criminalization, at least to some degree, there is a strong and growing sense on the ground in states with legalized marijuana that the “law and order” scheme is outdated, irrelevant and would be ineffective under current circumstances. For one thing, the distinction between medical and recreational marijuana on which Spicer insisted, although it was at one time very important in establishing

legal standing for the various industries, it is now more or less irrelevant. “Practically, [the difference between recreational and medical marijuana] is going to be an extremely difficult distinction to make and to apply in the context of a place like Colorado where [the two markets] have really blurred together,” Garnett says. “The reality is that recreational has pretty much swallowed medical in Colorado. “I understand the concern of the industry, but my expectation remains that a major federal crackdown on Colorado’s

legalized marijuana would be politically disastrous for the Trump administration and also very difficult to carry out. So I don’t think it’s likely to happen.” Nonetheless, the firm of Vicente and Sederberg is strongly advising its clients to focus on being compliant — paying all of their taxes, fitting squarely within the laws and generally being a good neighbor. “I think there very well could be some federal push back and targeting of bad actors,” he says. “We need to not give the feds any chance to come after us.”

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PROFILE

Courtesy Shane Koyczan/the Feldman Agency

More important than air

have looked on and listened in wonder at his unique ability to Spoken word artist Shane Koyczan is keenly aware see and feel and perfectly that there is an elephant describe the smallest, nearly in the room on his current U.S. tour. invisible acts of kindness that go unnoticed by so many of us everyday. His poems let us in on the secret: To experience and properly appreciate something so simple and profound as the touch of a hand, a kind word, a smile, eyes that don’t turn away, the lone Valentine in our bag, we must first need such things more than air. And then he helps us realize we are all grasping for that breath. This is Shane Koyczan’s gift. The first time I spoke with him was for a story I was doing called “The Hard Road.” I was having conversations with a number of creative people about how their most difficult times in life had shaped their art. When it came to Koyczan, it seemed nearly impossible to separate the two. You could say his hard times are his art, either directly influencing his works or as the lens that allows him to see the good in someone or something that might otherwise slip past humanity’s notice. If you want to know how hard it was for this overweight, introverted kid abandoned by his parents in a small town where bullying

Shane Koyczan trumps hate but not vice versa

by Joel Dyer

o what’s the first word that pops into your mind when you hear the name Shane Koyczan? For me it’s “naked.” No, not birthday-suit naked or naked-Trump-sculpture naked. That would be Webster’s definition number 1. I’m talking about Webster’s number 2, as in “undisguised, blatant, open, unashamed.” By that definition, Koyczan might just be the nakedest person I’ve ever encountered. And I’m not alone. Thanks to his remarkable success as one of the world’s best-known spoken word artists, there are now millions of people more familiar with Koyczan’s most intimate personal experiences of pain, love, anger, triumph, sadness and joy than they are with those of their closest friends or even family. We have empathized to the point of tears listening to Koyczan channel the pain of his early life as a shy, bullied outcast in Yellowknife, a small Canadian town a couple hundred miles below the Arctic Circle. We have laughed at his antics both then and now. He has made us shake in anger at our capacity for cruelty. And we Boulder Weekly

See KOYCZAN Page 16

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KOYCZAN from Page 15

the different was a full contact sport, just watch his TED talk titled “To This Day... for the bullied and beautiful.” You won’t be alone; it’s now been viewed more than 20 million times. One of the many lines from that video that I just can’t shake from my head is when Koyczan says, “When I was 10, I was told that my parents left because they didn’t want me. When I was 11, I wanted to be left alone. When I was 12, I wanted to die. When I was 13, I wanted to kill a kid.” What he’s describing is his own transformation from being bullied to being a bully. After years of being on the receiving end, at 15, Koyczan fought back, literally. Suddenly people were scared of him. School officials told Koyczan’s grandparents who were raising him that he was a bully. He remembers laughing at the irony when he heard those words. But then he realized that his new reputation would cause people to stay away from him. He decided the isolation of being a bully was better than the attention he received being picked on and humiliated daily as a victim of that same crime. He says the loneliness was really nothing new to him. He’d always felt disconnected from people in many ways aside from the love of his grandparents. And he credits this feeling of aloneness for his early connection to books and poetry. “Words were just friends,” he told me the first time we talked. “Books weren’t there to judge you based on what you looked like or what kind of clothes you wore. So I liked that escapist element of books and poetry.” In order to keep his newfound bully rep alive, which gave him more time to read and write, Koyczan says he turned on nearly everyone at his school and his aggression was indiscriminate. Then came his life-changing break. Because of his dysfunctional behavior, they decided to stick him in a drama class. Take that, mean kid. “They just wanted to stick me somewhere because I was a troubled kid,” he recalls. “They didn’t care where. In that one little twist of fate, it sort of turned my life around. They ended up putting me in the one place I actually needed, because I needed to know how to express myself.” Later, in college, he was drawn to creative writing but he says he never finished any of the stories he started. So what’s a creative writer who can’t finish a story to do? Write shorter stories, or in Koyczan’s case, poems. But making a living writing poetry is no easy task, even in Canada where literacy is a revered trait. In the early years, even though he was gaining recognition for his work, the money was not nearly enough to live on, so he had to make that hard, inevitable decision to get a job. It was a sad day but one that eventually confronts most creatives and all poets. Well, Koyczan pretty quickly figured out his new life as a working stiff sucked. So he decided to make one last desperate attempt to write and perform his spoken word art for a living. He gave himself one year to be self-sustaining from his words. What would have been the plan 12 months later we will never know, because against all odds, he made it. By the end of that year, Koyczan was doing more than making a living at poetry. He was making a difference. His knowing words of compassion and his empathy and encouragement for those who are different, ostracized and picked on struck a chord — a really loud chord. Kids and adults who had never found their voice found one in his. The bullied and ignored — by the hundreds of thousands, perhaps even millions — began to soak in and reshare Koyczan’s themes: No more; I have value; I have dreams; I will be heard; I will not die by your hands or my own; I will dance to the tune of my choosing with no regard for who is watching or what anyone thinks. Koyczan spread like wildfire. And then he exploded onto the international scene in 2010 when he stood atop a raised round stage while performing his piece “We Are More.” It was the opening ceremonies of the Olympics in Vancouver and tens of millions from around the world watched as he defined the humility, inclusiveness, hopes and dreams of his nation. The first time I experienced Koyczan in person was at the Rocky Mountain Folks Festival in Lyons in 2015. I was sitting at the front and when he finished his first piece, I found myself on my feet, swamped with emotion. When I turned around I saw 5,000 people standing, many of them with tears rolling down their cheeks. I had never experienced the power of the spoken word in such a way. I suspect that was true for many of us that day. It was Koyczan’s first performance in the U.S. There is no doubt that through his art, Koyczan is changing and even saving Boulder Weekly

lives. He admits it’s a heady responsibility that can be overwhelming at times. “[Knowing I’m making a difference] is one of the rewards of doing what I do, but it can take you to some pretty dark places. I get letters from kids who are living on a ledge, and I don’t know what to say. I don’t have any training in that kind of thing. I’m a poet.” And he has no illusions that the pain so many feel will stop any time soon, if ever. “My grandma says, ‘We’ll only find equality in our number of tears.’ And she’s right. I don’t see it happening any other way. There’s all these things, all these differences that keep us apart. But it’s mostly all these physical things, packaging. You don’t buy food for the packaging it comes in. You buy food for the food. I think people forget that there is sustenance in their emotions, and your honest connection with other people.” And so here we are in 2017 and Shane Koyczan is heading south across the U.S./Canadian border for a multistate tour. At least he plans to cross the border, though he admits he’s concerned “they won’t let me in.” He says, “What if they demand to see my social, check my phone, things like that? I can’t just agree to surrender my privacy. That would be wrong.” This tour, like his previous forays into the states, will bring his messages of love and acceptance, environmental protection, living life in the moment, anti-bullying and standing up to the haters to a number of venues including Planet Bluegrass’s own Wildflower Pavilion in Lyons. And yes, as his border concerns illustrate, Koyczan is keenly aware that in 2017 there is an elephant in the room that makes his job and his art perhaps more important than it has ever been. One of the world’s most outspoken, best-known critics of bullying will be delivering his spoken word art in the shadow of the most powerful political leader in the world who just happens to be arguably the world’s biggest bully. Koyczan doesn’t think of his art as political but he understands that these are unusual times and many of his work’s themes can and will likely be interpreted in a political vein. One can’t help but think of his poem “Instructions for a bad day,” wherein he encourages us to speak and be heard and be loud. It only makes sense that immigrants and refugees now living in fear would find hope in Koyczan’s words — as can people of color, Muslims or anyone who is simply considered different for any multitude of reasons, who now find themselves routinely bullied in our new environment of Boulder Weekly

intolerance and hate. “It’s terrifying to watch even as your neighbor,” Koyczan says. “It’s like living next door to someone being abused. I have to decide what to do. I have to decide... did I mean what I’ve said? I can’t bend a knee to this stuff now.” In many ways, Koyczan is perplexed by what he should do, or not do, about that elephant in the room that he notes, “looks a lot like the one the GOP uses.” He says, “I want to encourage peo-

ple but I think maybe they are sick of thinking about this guy so maybe I shouldn’t say anything at all.” Considering his gift, I’m sure he’ll find the right words. After all, the messages laced into Shane Koyczan’s art have always “trumped hate.” So much so that the opposite is not true. “I can find compassion for anyone. [Trump] makes it difficult. But we have to keep that compassion because that’s what separates us.”

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hile the world knows the name John Glenn as the first man to orbit the Earth, it wasn’t until last year’s Oscar-nominated hit Hidden Figures, that the world learned more about the group of African American women who helped put him there. Heroes of their time, these women surpassed racial and gender boundaries to advance their country and help NASA win the Space Race. But several decades before the women of Hidden Figures made history, there was another group of ladies who were making major discoveries about the sky above. Starting in the 1870s, flocks of women joined the astronomy ranks at Harvard College Observatory to undertake the task of charting the night sky to further understand the stars. These women are the subject of the new book The Glass Universe, by author Dava Sobel, who stops by the Boulder Book Store on March 9. Similar to Hidden Figures, The Glass Universe lifts the veil on the women history forgot. “A lot has happened in world history,” Sobel says. “It’s a lot to keep everything at the forefront. Somebody has to care and go back and pick up one of these stories and tell it.” During the late 19th century, phoBoulder Weekly

Top: The astronomers of Harvard gather for a photo taken on May 19, 1925, including Cecilia Payne, at the drafting table, the first person to earn a Ph.D. in astronomy. Bottom: Antonia Maury installing a 6-inch Clark telescope.

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tography revolutionized the practice of astronomy. Because the camera enabled longer exposure ON THE BILL: Dava times, photographs Sobel — The Glass Universe with special performance were able to capture from BETC. 7:30 p.m. details the eye could Thursday, March 9, Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., not see through a Boulder, 303-447-2074. telescope. As Harvard amassed a great number of glass photographic plates, they began hiring “human computers” to do the math and chart the positions of the stars. “The women were very good at this kind of work,” Sobel says. “[Looking at these plates] you get a sense of just how tiny the figures are and how many gazillions of stars are on a plate. It takes a certain kind of patience and perseverance to work with that image, and they were up to the task. “They were doing something new,” she continues. “It was important, they enjoyed it, and it astronomers to separate the stars and was a real challenge. They knew how understand the differences between lucky they were.” them, and it is still in use today around The women went on to create a the world, Sobel says. sorting system for the stars called the The first women to do this work Henry Draper Catalog (named for the were the wives, sisters and daughters of astronomy enthusiast who essentially See FORGOTTEN WOMEN Page 20 began the collection). This allowed

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astronomers, most of whom learned on the job. One of these women was Williamina Fleming, a Scottish immigrant originally hired as a maid in the house of a Harvard astronomer. Fleming went on to make significant additions to the star catalogue, identifying more than 300 variable stars and 10 novae. Fleming was also a single mother, and she was able to put her son through Massachusetts Institute of Technology, where he graduated and then went on to become a mining engineer. Also during this time, women’s colleges began to emerge, churning out qualified graduates who were able to push past the title of computer and become astronomers. Women also went on to break records in education, like Cecilia Payne. Mia Berg “You sometimes see her listed as the first woman to get a Ph.D. in astronomy at Harvard, but she was actually the first person to do so,” Sobel says. The contributions these women made to the field is indisputable and led to later findings, like the work of Henrietta Swan Leavitt, whose discovery on measuring distances in space is now called the Leavitt Law. It’s the law Edwin Hubble used to show there are other galaxies beyond the Milky Way, and the same one he later used to show the universe is expanding. Joining Sobel at the Boulder Book Store March 9 will be Boulder Ensemble Theater Company, who Dava Sobel will stop by will be doing a scene from their upcoming show the Boulder Book Store March 9. Silent Sky, which opens April 6. The play follows Leavitt as she maps the sky and explores the mystery of her own life as well. While Henrietta Leavitt is a name every astronomer has heard, Sobel says, the same cannot be said about many of the others in The Glass Universe. “When I was writing, I got a number of people to fact check the book,” she says. “There was a professor of astronomy at Harvard and she was astounded. ‘I’ve heard this story but I always thought they did some minor work. I didn’t realize how much science they were actually doing.’ The fact that’s the case, even at Harvard, convinced me that I was really right to go after this,” she continues. “[These women] are not household names.” In 2017, women are starting to gain traction in STEM fields, yet the landscape is still woefully off balance in terms of gender equality. But Sobel notes some glimmers of hope toward a more equal future. “Just recently, it was occurring to me how many women were in high positions in science,” Sobel says. “The head of the National Science Foundation, the National Academy of Sciences, the American Astronomical Society and [until this year] the American Geophysical Union are all women. At Harvard about half the astronomy graduates students are women, but only a third of senior faculty.” As storytellers like Sobel continue to unearth these untold histories, they even the playing field and provide upcoming generations with pioneers to look up to, hopefully leading to a brighter future filled with more scientific discoveries. “There’s a lot of support out there now to encourage girls that they really can do this. They shouldn’t be ashamed of being good at math, it’s really OK,” she says with a laugh. “And there were a lot of women before them that were good at math. “Stories like [The Glass Universe] and Hidden Figures, it’s important to tell these stories,” she continues. “A lot of young girls have no role models. The only woman scientist they’ve ever heard of is Madame Curie. And that’s is going to change. It is changing.”

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New invention triples sensation and gives overwhelming pleasure to those who use it.

Steven Wuzubia Health Correspondent Clearwater, Florida – Think about it. No matter what drugs you take; If you don’t have enough “feeling” in your penis, it’s impossible to get an erection. The formula for great sex is simple. The more penile feeling, the more aroused you get, which provokes a firm and lasting erection and a full orgasm whenever you want. For years, men begged Dr. Yeager for a solution that would work to end lack of penile sensitivity. But now, his new cream promises to give you what no other pill can… incredible sensation, even from the slightest touch. It’s fixing erection problems a whole new way. The new cream makes penile sensitivity double, even triple. So even those that have little to no feeling at all in the penis suddenly experience mind blowing sex again! “Even men without E.D. problems are buying up more than we can produce”, says Dr. Yeager. “Many men do not feel comfortable telling even their doctor about trouble with erections, and a lack of feeling and pleasure during intercourse.”

to make a mark and decided to do something about it. He spent long sleepless nights locked up in his lab ... researching every study he could get his hands on regarding penis sensitivity and came up with a cream that changed sexual medicine as we know it. He put special natural ingredients into a cream for men and the results have been remarkable. Men who use this cream report much more penile feeling, arousal, sensitivity and pleasure from their sexual intercourse. They have less or no more difficulty in stimulating the penis, getting and keeping a hard erection, and achieving orgasm at the right time. ED pills like Viagra, Cialis and natural pills work for many men, but men with RPS end up taking more than directed in the hope of increasing their penile sensitivity, and even then they often don’t work good enough. “A REAL MARRIAGE-CHANGER!” “This has caused our sex life to be like we are teenagers again! My wife and I are both much happier and more satisfied. A real life-changer! I am so glad for Dr. Yeager’s invention to fix this problem with no dangerous prescription drugs.”

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WHY YOU NEED IT Reduced Penile Sensitivity (RPS) is commonly associated with aging, diabetes, circumcision, certain surgeries and prescription drugs. RPS is estimated to strike over 500 million men on a worldwide basis. Dr. Yeager states “It’s not a man’s fault. They did nothing wrong. They are not any less of a man. And now, men don’t “They are too ashamed that they have to suffer any longer.” cant ‘make it work’ in bed. And if this HOW IT WORKS is your problem, you’re not alone.” The name of the cream Dr. Yeager These men suffer from Reduced invented is SENSUM+®. Men rub the Penile Sensitivity (RPS). This can cream on their penis twice daily for cause loss of confidence, frustration, the first two weeks then once a day for even depression and anxiety. eight additional weeks. There is a nice Let’s face it. The inability or long cinnamon smell and no residues. wait to reach orgasm is bad enough. The main ingredient, natural But failure to achieve a firm erection Cinnamaldehyde, activates the is devastating! It’s one of the leading TRPA1 receptor (IC50= 9.5μM). This causes of relationship problems. And increases the reaction of sensory avoiding sex often leads to a failed neurons to stimulus such as warmth, marriage. It is a horrible problem. cold and touch. Dr. Yeager wasn’t about to ignore the This activation results in more suffering of his patients. He wanted sensitivity of the penis and a

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ADVENTURE

Courtesy of Mark Stefanowski

here are 23 students dispersed across three half-orderly rows along the linoleum floor. It’s just past 6 a.m., the air inside is heavy, almost wet, and the lights are dimmed to an orange hue. Outside, snow blusters across the parking lot, blowing against the windows of the Littletonbased studio.

them, a flabby silver-haired man sits upright in tight red boxer shorts. There is silence, except for the hum of a humidifier and the whir of fans circling heat somewhere in the walls. The subdued energy of an early morning wake-up imposes a soft weight upon everyone’s chest. The studio’s door swings open and a man walks straight for the front of the room. He bounces up and down on his toes before coming to rest against the wall of mirrors. His voice booms, “Hello, Friday morning!” Mark Stefanowski has already been awake for at least two hours. He’s had his coffee, eaten breakfast and showered. His upbeat vibes immediately alleviate some heaviness as everyone stirs and sits upright. He begins: “Some of you know the details of my life, but, for now, long story short: I share custody of my dogs. This week I had the rare opportunity to spend eight straight days with them, and I was reminded of how much gratitude I have for

The outlaw: Mark Stefanowski

An alternative yoga space is here for those looking to practice outside the box

by Emma Murray A blond woman unrolls her mat in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirror, dressed head to toe in Lululemon’s technical fabric. Next to her another woman is fully reclined, her head half-shaved and one arm wrapped in vibrant ink flowers. Behind Boulder Weekly

those who are on my team — those that support and encourage me. I love my dogs, and they love me.” He walks toward the back of the studio. “Let’s get into down dog,” he commands, and Lulu Barbie, Inked Flowers and RedSpandexed Grandpa all form inverted-V shapes. Mark walks around the room, letting his boisterous voice pump the room like air into a deflated tire. The collective breaths again grow heavy, and now labored, too. Starting a yoga class in down dog signals: We’re getting down to business. Mark turns up the lights and cues a transition into a standing posture. No longer shrouded in a sauna-like glow, the 23 students are clear and visible in the mirror. Godsmack’s percussion-intense “Voodoo” roars through the speakers overhead — “I’m not the one who’s so far away...” — and Mark again starts bouncing on his toes. Though he’s 49, he acts decades younger. He skips back to the front of the room, “Let’s do this, Friday!” and claps his hands as though sealing a deal. His black T-shirt reads “Outlaw Yoga,” see OUTLAW Page 24

March 2 , 2017 23

OUTLAW from Page 23

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and he’s wearing a white bandana tied taught around his forehead. The fabric’s line creases an inch above his grey-blue eyes, which are framed below by worn, tough skin. His scraggly silver beard, extending down to his chest, moves with his mouth when he cues the next series of movements. Everyone ends up in a lunge position: left knee down on the floor and right knee up in a 90-degree angle. “Bring your palms together at your heart, and time to twist.” Everyone hooks their left elbow across their right thigh. “Yeaaaah,” he says. “Now bring more bend in the front knee, and let’s double duty this pose.” Left hip flexors are now fully awake. “Why didn’t anyone bring donuts? We could have triple-dutied! Only glutenfree and organic around here,” Mark says with a laugh — kuh yah a a aa aa a a! “Does anyone ever wonder where all the gluten goes when they take it out?” He pauses, looks around. “Only one person laughed! Either they’re more awake or asleep than the rest of you. I can’t tell!” Provided by Mark Stefanowski Lulu Barbie, Inked Flowers and Red-Spandexed Grandpa chuckle, ready to release the tension mounting along their hip flexors. Mark has gathered somewhat of a following in the Boulder area. Between being a Lululemon and Highball Energy ambassador, a CorePower instructor and founder of Outlaw Yoga, it’s a rare day when he’s not doing some yogarelated activity. He’s been teaching for almost six years, and just three weeks ago he quit his day job as a police computer salesman to devote his career full time to Outlaw Yoga. At first, Outlaw Yoga was just a sign he’d taped to the door at the Harley Davidson shop where he taught his first class. Mark Stefanowski is the founder of Outlaw Yoga. But quickly, the concept expanded to encompass His goal is to show folks his entire persona and teaching style. Now he that yoga is for everyone. teaches around 10 classes per week and is working to expand his philosophy across the country: “You don’t have to fit into a certain box to do yoga. If you’re a human being you should do yoga.” His laugh — kuh yah a a aa aa a a — reduces the tension building in a new, strenuous squat-like pose: feet placed wide, across the long side of the mat, toes facing the side of the room, knees approaching 90 degrees. “Star Pose!” He bellows, straightening his legs and throwing his arms big and wide overhead. A flaming skull is tattooed on his left forearm. The yogic Om symbol is etched into its forehead. Mark smiles wide, infusing truth into Nickelback’s “If Everyone Cared” — “Singing, amen I’m alive...” Eventually we come into a different squat-like position, this time feet together, big toes touch, heels an inch apart. Arms frame the face, shoulders relax away from the ears. Chair pose. “Inhale,” he cues. “Exhale, and sit lower!” Heavy breathing rises over White Zombie’s guttural, head-banging “Thunder Kiss ’65.” “Inhale! Exhale, airplane arms!” Everyone sweeps their arms down and back behind, fingers now pointing to the back of the room. Some experienced students instinctually rise to their toe mounds, a more challenging balance posture. “Yeaaaaaah,” Mark is grooving. “You can pick up your heels. I can’t bring myself to call this what other teachers call it: ‘Drinking Bird,’ or whatever. You are all mighty eagles! Drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon!” Lulu Barbie, Inked Flowers and Red-Spandexed Grandpa smile. Mark’s laugh is contagious. His mission to create a space where anyone can fit in is obviously successful. He teaches at breweries, plays rock ‘n’ roll and dresses like a biker dude for yoga — all because he is a biker dude. Outlaw Yoga, he says, is nothing more than a technically simple and physically challenging practice that has succeeded as an alternative to traditional yoga. A lot of students that come to his weekly brewery classes (at Sanitas in Boulder, the Tasty Weasel in Longmont, and CHUBurger in Dever) would never set foot in a yoga studio, he says. In providing an unconventional, “More ‘woo hoo’ than ‘woo woo,’ style,” Mark teamed up with Denver-based Justin Kaliszewski to expand the Outlaw style. Last year, they opened a studio in Littleton and now host events, workshops and classes across the Front Range. Last January, Yoga Journal published a study analyzing yoga in the United Boulder Weekly

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More than just a walk around the block! States. They found not only do Americans A DUI got Mark Stepump more than $16 billion per year into the fanowski out of the bars yoga industry, but also that there are at least 80 and onto his yoga mat — but he’s still a Harleymillion Americans who want to try yoga but riding badass. haven’t yet. They estimate that only 36.7 million Americans currently practice yoga. “The thing Provided by Mark Stefanowski is,” Mark says after class, drinking a straight black cup of coffee, “Every time the Yoga Journal comes out with this study, it’s the same thing. More people want to try, and there are all these great entries, so why isn’t that actually shifting? That is a mission that I have. I want people to go, ‘I feel like I fit in.’ That’s why I do what I do.” Mark still teaches at CorePower, where he did his initial teacher training. The studio chain, known for their consistency and predictability, is something that Mark honors and appreciates. But he still doesn’t allow them to tame his spirit. In class, he cues, “Let’s go — shitty triangle! Lift your arms up to frame your face.” Everyone tries to lift up the arm that was formerly supporting them. “Seriously! Some yoga teacher just made this pose up for you guys to feel something different. And that [means] suffering in yoga-teacher speak, by the way.” Some years ago, on Christmas Day, Mark was pulled over and handed a DUI slip. Instead of continuing on the path he was on, he started going to yoga. He lost 85 pounds and was inspired enough to do a “yogi training,” to deepen his personal practice, and he eventually enrolled in a teacher training too. The first class he taught, in that Harley Davidson shop, he leaned against a motorcycle thinking: “This is so fucking cool.” When a biker friend who’d taken the class sat up out of savasana and Mark saw the look on his face, that was the moment he knew that he needed to spread this kind of experience as far as he could. Though he’s now a full-time yoga-man, Mark still makes time for his Harley. One of the parallels that Mark finds between the motorcycle world and the yoga world is a special intimacy. “When you walk into the yoga studio you have something in common with everyone in that room. And when you see people on Harleys, you know they like to ride. The question is,” he pauses, swirling the black coffee around, “are you going to use that to connect?” Mark dims the lights in the studio back down. Everyone is reclined in savasana. An acoustic version of “Everlong” by the Foo Fighters plays softly. “You’ve worked hard this morning. Thank you for being here. Thank you for showing up. Thank you for being on my team.” After a couple minutes, the students filter out. Mark overhears one saying, “See, I told you he’s crazy. But the yoga is so good.” Boulder Weekly

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LAST WEEKEND in an epic

give you something that the word processor can’t. For Hanks, it’s the aesthetic appeal of creating a piece of history. For John Mayer, it’s a way to unlock creativity without pausing to edit — Mayer perfectly describes the process of writing as, “Paving a road and driving on it at the same time.” For Howard, it is the object of his obsession. From the obsessed to the curious, California Typewriter covers it all.

mix-up of Steve Harvey proportions, underdog Moonlight triumphed over the season’s darling La La Land to win best picture at the Academy Awards. La La Land did not go unnoticed though, tying the record for most Oscar noms, nabbing 14, and taking home six. With an Academy Awards ceremony for the ages, one could say the film industry is experiencing a revitalizing breath of fresh air, ushering in what could be a great era in film. Just in time to welcome a new season of cinematic hits, Boulder International Film Festival takes over this weekend with showings at various venues across the county from March 2-5. With a diverse lineup featuring the movies to watch out for, BIFF provides a taste of everything for any palate. From documentaries to dramas to comedies, the festival will surely fan the cinephile flame in all of us. Here’s a taste of what to expect this weekend.

‘California Typewriter’ (Noon, March 4, Boulder High School; 11 a.m. March 5, Longmont Museum’s Stewart Auditorium) Located in Berkeley, California, Herb Permillion III took over typewriter retail and repair shop California Typewriter more than 30 years ago. The following year, Apple released the personal computer. But Permillion wasn’t deterred. He and longtime repairman Ken Alexander believe in the typewriter and know that if they hold on long enough, it will come back into vogue. They might be right, or they might lose their shirts waiting. Permillion and Alexander aren’t the only typewriter faithful, and firsttime director Doug Nichol — who will appear in person at the screenings — assembles an impressive line-up of clacking keys and dinging bell enthusiasts: Tom Hanks, John Mayer, Sam Shepard, David McCullough, Mason Williams, collector Martin Howard and sculptor Jeremy Mayer — who uses typewriter parts to manufacture magnificent works of art extolling the virtues of this magnificent machine. California Typewriter is both an exuberant embrace of an analog world and an exploration about how technology influences artistic expression. No one in California Typewriter thinks typewriters will replace computers — all of them rely on the internet and social media to either promote their work or hunt down typewriters — but they all understand that a typewriter can

‘Clash’ (2:15 p.m. March 3, Boulder Theater) The Egyptian revolution of 2011 began on January 25. Less than one month later, President Hosni Mubarak stepped down and handed the leadership of the country over to the Supreme Council of Egyptian Armed Forces. One year later, Mohamed Morsi, the first Islamist elected head of an Arab state, became Egypt’s fifth president. The revolution was far from over. Clash picks up one year after Morsi has been dismissed from office, on one particularly hot summer day in Cairo during a violent protest with the military rounding up demonstrators and throwing them in paddy wagons. Here, director Mohammed Diab stages his entire film. This prison on wheels traps pro-army supporters, members of the Muslim Brotherhood and a few bystanders inside a metal encased sweat-box as they plea for humanity, help and release. Inside the paddy wagon, they bicker about whose side is at fault, which sports team is better and how the press should or shouldn’t cover the revolution. There are no friends, only enemies. No compassion, only revulsion. Much like Alfred Hitchcock’s Lifeboat, which followed a group of World see BIFF Page 28

USHERING IN A GREAT ERA FILM

ON THE BILL:

Boulder International Film Festival. March 2-5. Various locations. Biff1. com.

BIFF provides a glimpse to the best cinema has to offer by Michael J. Casey

Boulder Weekly

March 2, 2017 27

WHAT

ARE YOU

DOING TONIGHT? Pictured: The Sink Photo by Susan France

BIFF from Page 27

War II survivors after their ship sunk, Clash’s confined location exploits each character’s weakness and pettiness, giving the viewer a front-lines experience of the multitude of conflicts that ran through the streets during the Summer of 2013. Diab furthers this experience by keeping the camera inside the paddy wagon, reminding the viewers that as the prisoners go through this hell so must we.

‘The Happy Film’ (10 a.m. March 5, Boulder Theater; 3 p.m. March 5, eTown Hall) What causes happiness? What does it take to make one happy? Am I achieving my potential happiness? And how do I know that my experience of happiness is similar to other people’s experience of happiness? Those are but a few of the questions Austrian graphic designer Stefan Sagmeister set out to answer with The Happy Film. Whether or not he came back with an answer is up to the audience. Drawing inspiration primarily from Jonathan Haidt’s book, The Happiness Hypotheses, Sagmeister tries to retrain his mind for happiness through meditation, cognitive therapy and drugs. The Happy Film is as much about making a movie about finding happiness as it is about happiness. Sagmeister’s almost ceaseless narration gives a wide variety of conflicting thoughts and notions as he attempts to chart his level of happiness. But despite the connection to the title and the overall narrative, these moments are not the highlight of the movie. Sagmeister is an outstanding and inventive graphic designer and the movie soars when it captures him and his peers at work. The results are impressive and even if they don’t provide Sagmeister happiness, they certainly provide satisfaction. Sometimes that’s enough.

‘Cool Cats’ (9:30 p.m. March 3, Boulder Theater; 10:00 a.m. March 4, eTown Hall)

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When it came to jazz, Dexter Gordon and Ben Webster were giants among men. Both were tenor saxophonists — Gordon helped adapt the instrument for bebop music, Webster specialized in swing — and both had played with the greats and inspired those to follow. And while their music is timeless and their talents impressive, they also share a rather peculiar footnote: both left America for Demark. There’s a lot of fame that comes with being a jazz musician but in 1960s America, jazz musician or not, a black man was still a second-class citizen. When Gordon and Webster landed in Copenhagen, they found no signs that read “Whites Only” or “Colored Toilets.” Instead, they found kind people who were not only impressed by their talents but attracted to them as well. As one Dane remembers, it was fashionable for a white Danish girl to date a black American musician. Cool Cats, from Danish director Janus Køster-Rasmussen, is a documentary about Gordon and Webster’s years in Denmark, the music they played and the vices that crippled them. Drugs and alcohol always seem to go hand in hand with stories like these, and Gordon, a heroine user, and Webster, a heavy drinker, play their part. Køster-Rasmussen also does his part. Cool Cats could have been a by-the-numbers documentary with talking heads and archival photographs, but KøsterRasmussen unearthed a plethora of home movies from Webster, all shot on 8 mm, that add a great deal of authenticity. Combined with early TV performance footage and grainy home movies from die-hard jazz fans, Cool Cats gives a taste of a time and place.

‘Bang! The Bert Berns Story’ (5:30 p.m. March 4, Boulder Theater) Even if you’ve never heard of Bert Berns, you’ve definitely heard his music. Boulder Weekly

Brenda Reid of The Exciters described the prolific songwriter and record producer as “The white soul brother. ... He put the soul in music.” And with hits like “Tell Him,” “Hang On Sloopy,” “I Want Candy,” “Under the Boardwalk,” “Twist and Shout” and “Piece of My Heart,” Berns didn’t just put the soul in music — he brought soul to the masses. Berns’s songs were covered multiple times, rearranged just as much and dozens of them went to the top of the charts. But the early days of rock ‘n’ roll weren’t kind to those behind the board and before Berns could be a household name, he died at the age of 38 from a heart attack. Now, Berns’ son, Brett, brings his father’s story to life, complete with ties to the mob, shady dealings at Atlantic Records and the birth of Bern’s own label, Bang Records. If there is ill will left in the world towards Berns, little of it shows up in Bang! The Bert Burns Story. Instead, Brett Burns and co-director Bob Sarles assemble a who’s who of ’60s musicians for this comprehensive and celebratory look at Bern’s career and life.

‘The Borneo Case’ (Noon, March 3, Boulder Theater) Ninety percent of the eastern Borneo rainforest has been sold off and destroyed, but who has profited? That is the question The Borneo Case seeks to answer and this globetrotting documentary will travel from Montreal to London to Rio de Janeiro to Malaysia heeding the infamous advice Deep Throat gave Bob Woodward: “Follow the money.” At the center of this environmental catastrophe is Abdul Taib Mahmud, the chief minister of Sarawak, who stole billions of dollars through illegal logging and palm oil production. For 33 years the “whitehaired rajah” took grafts and hid the money in secret accounts, world banks and with politically connected U.S. investors. If this were a novel, then Taib would be a Bond villain. But this isn’t a novel, and Taib isn’t an over-the-top arch villain. Instead, Taib and his family are just profiteers in a world where cash is king. Filmmakers Erik Pauser and Dylan Williams spent five years following activists, investigative journalists and one flamboyant radio DJ to try and uncover the truth behind what ex-British Prime Minister Gordon Brown has called “the greatest environmental crime in history.” Along the way, they find exile, missing persons, threats, intimidations and deaths of a highly suspicious nature.

Score: A Film Music Documentary (2:45 p.m. March 4, Boulder Theater; 10 a.m. March 5, eTown Hall) If a picture is worth a thousand words and a film is 24-pictures a second, then a movie contains words beyond words of capable comprehension. That’s why when we think of a movie we zero-in on digestible bits — moments, lines, maybe just a shot — and no bit of a movie is more digestible than the soundtrack. The blaring brass that ushers in Star Wars, the ominous bass and cello that bring up the dread in Jaws, the electric guitars that introduce James Bond to the screen and the trumpet that ascends along with Rocky Balboa up the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art and into the hearts and minds of millions of viewers. When done right, the music carries the images from the screen and supplants them into the collective consciousness of the audience. Why that happens can sometimes be elusive, but how that happens is sheer hard work — hard work documented and celebrated in Score: A Film Music Documentary from director Matt Schrader. With such luminaries as Alexandre Desplat, Mark Mothersbaugh, Quincy Jones, Danny Elfman, Randy Newman, Hans Zimmer, Howard Shore, Christophe Beck and a slew of filmmakers, historians, scholars and professors, Score digs into one of the most memorable aspects, yet often overlooked, components of cinema. The talking heads can get a little dull at times, but when a documentary contains this many wonderful pieces of music, alongside a gallery of iconic images, then it’s easy to slip into the familiar and take another walk down memory lane. Boulder Weekly

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Two captains, one ship

The egalitarian marriage that makes Tennis’ new album pertinent by Angela K. Evans

n the morning of the Women’s March in January, Tennis lead singer Alaina Moore was at the airport on her way to rehearsal. Slightly frustrated she couldn’t attend the demonstration with her sisters, brother and thousands of other Coloradans in her hometown of Denver, she marched through the terminal wearing her “The future is female” T-Shirt, catching glimpses of massive crowds gathered in multiple cities around the country on the TVs at different flight gates. As she passed other women, she exchanged what she says were looks of encouragement and acknowledgement — if any of them weren’t traveling, they’d be marching. “It was this amazing experience of camaraderie with strangers in the airport, and it felt very powerful,” Moore says. “I was in tears, so moved to see such a powerful expression and coming together.” The timing couldn’t be more perfect to release Tennis’ fourth album — Yours Conditionally, out March 10 — with Moore’s husband and bandmate Patrick Riley. Written half

on land and half while sailing together in the Sea of Cortez, the album is part long-term-monogamous-love story, part feminist manifesto, encapsulated in the band’s signature indie pop, lo-fi sound. “We’re just riding a wave of a lot of other things socially and culturally that we couldn’t have predicted,” Moore says. “Social constructs were very convenient and well-timed and not super planned.” The duo wrote the new album just prior to and during a four-month sailing expedition around Baja California in the winter of 2015, unaware (like most of us) that the bubbling pot of sexism and inequality in the U.S. was about to boil over. The 2016 election just applied the appropriate heat. “The story we were told growing up was that everything is resolved now, everyone has equal rights, everything’s done. We did it, we’re great,” Moore says. “And then you grow up and you’re like, ‘Yes, everything is better, we’re on this continuum but it’s not over.’ And we were sweeping things under the rug, and it’s not true that everyone has equal rights and

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we’re not actually there yet.” know that you knew it,” she In many ways, Moore has grown up as Tennis has blossays. “I always knew that I Alaina Moore And somed. The duo wrote their first album, Cape Dory, as newly- wanted partnership that had Patrick Riley met at the University of Denver in a weds, just returned from a sailing venture after graduating no hierarchy but deep philosophy class. Now from the University of Denver where they met in a philosorespect for each others’ abilthey sail the world and make indie pop music phy class. Although skeptical at first, Moore eventually ities. ... No one ever told me together. adopted Riley’s dream to sail around the world. that was a system that exist“I was drawn to it not just because we were in love, but I ed. We’re lucky that we was drawn to it for the sake of it being so antithetical, so found it for ourselves and polar opposite to anything that I had known; desert plain, that it works.” mountainous region, landlocked my whole life never having Moore is a pop artist at heart, and she has sometimes felt been on a boat,” she says. limited by a genre that prioritizes melodies While the couple spent that first trip over poetics and love songs over philosophical “learning how not to die,” Moore says, they diatribes. In many ways, this caused the duo ON THE BILL: Tennis also discovered a dynamic in their relationship to take break from writing after their last with South of France. 7 p.m. Saturday, March 4, no one had ever taught them was possible. release 2014’s Ritual in Repeat. Bluebird Theater, 3317 E. “We [are] the only people we’ve ever met But analyzing the complexity of modern Colfax Ave., Denver, 303that has a two captains, one ship philosophy,” feminism, at times in the context of her 377-1666. Moore says, going against prevailing sailing marriage, reinspired Moore for the fourth logic. “It’s completely egalitarian. And it’s not album. that we have a panel discussion between every major deci“I felt very much interested in the different aspects of my sion. It’s just that we truly know each other’s strengths and identity within womanhood,” Moore says about songs like “Ladies Don’t Play Guitar” and “My Emotions Are weaknesses and we default to the person who has more Blinding.” expertise in an area.” “I was able to do some work sorting out the ways in It’s a form of companionship they apply to every area of which I felt restricted or shaped by gender almost against my their shared life, from sailing to marriage to the band. While Moore writes lyrics, Riley puts them to music. While he does will, especially in a performative aspect.” What started as a sailing expedition between college and the accounting, she’s the spokesperson. And it’s a system that graduate school has landed Moore on a path of self discovery Moore hopes to communicate through the love songs on Yours Conditionally. publically shared through the moniker Tennis. It’s been a “It feels like a tacit knowledge that I made explicit; process of discovery she’s faced head on, as a pop artist, a Something you already knew and lived by but you didn’t even wife and a woman in the world. Boulder Weekly

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arts & culture

ON THE BILL: An Act of God. Denver Center for the Performing Arts, 1400 Curtis St., Denver, 720-8654239, denvercenter.org. Through April 8. Tickets $47 and up.

Courtesy of DCPA/John Moore

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An Act of God, now playing at the DCPA through April, takes on religion with a hilarious twist: the newand-improved Ten Commandments.

Local boy makes God Heavenly hilarity and a devilishly good time

he old school newspaper headline, “Local boy makes good,” seems to have fallen out of fashion of late. Should we blame the 24-hour news cycle with its insatiable craving for doom and gloom fearmongering? Have all the local boys moved away or turned exclusively to lives of crime? That may be the case in far flung locales like Piscataway, New Jersey, and Valdosta, Georgia, but in Denver some local boys aren’t just making good; they’re making God. And they’re making him a hoot. Gifted director Geoffrey Kent, ever-reliable and enjoyable thespians Steven Cole Hughes and Erik Sandvold, and understudy-turned-star Steven J. Burge are sending audiences into paroxysms of laughter with their exultantly funny An Act of God, playing Denver Center through April 8. Members of the Westboro Baptist Church, Bible thumpers in general and other sense-of-humor-lacking sorts beware. This is not your father’s Father. An Act of God is wonderfully irreverent and sinfully sarcastic. Before it’s over, both God and Man have taken it on the chin and a few other places. In order to set the record straight about some messianic misconceptions, God has popped down to the material Boulder Weekly

realm and taken possession of Burge’s body to present the new and improved Ten Commandments. The updated Ten Commandments 2.0 were motivated by God’s own sloth. As he puts it, “I was God, but I wasn’t really ‘Godding.’” Speaking of sloth, An Act of God is presented in the Denver Center’s Garner Galleria Theatre. Between the show’s wicked sense of humor and the Garner’s cabaret environment, theater-

by Gary Zeidner goers can easily indulge in all seven of the deadly sins while this one-act wonder unfolds. As they slothfully sit around, eating and drinking to gluttonous excess, they can greedily devour one-liner after one-liner winging from the stage, envy the talent on display, lust for one of the actors (or maybe that pretty little thing at the next table), take pride in their outstanding taste in theater and, when the proverbial curtain falls, be full of wrath that An Act of God isn’t longer. Burge’s God is aided in his recitation of the new celestial do’s and don’ts by archangels Gabriel (Sandvold) and Michael (Hughes). Interspersed among the new Commandments — and some oldies with

novel spins like, “Thou shalt not kill in My name. I can do it all by Myself.” — are some excellent socioreligious observations and whip smart wordplay. The Bible, it turns out, is 100 percent accurate... especially when thrown at close range. And Eve was apparently created from one of Adam’s non-load-bearing ribs. Which, depending on your experience, may explain a few things. The plethora of pithy piffle and profundities comes as no surprise given that An Act of God is the brainchild of David Javerbaum and had its genesis, I swear to dog, as a series of tweets. Javerbaum has won Emmys, Peabodys, a Grammy, probably Most Likely to Succeed at his alma mater Temple Beth-El Hebrew School, and who knows how many other awards as a TV writer and producer as well as an author. He was one of John Stewart’s inner circle at The Daily Show for years. Javerbaum is, hand to God, one funny mensch, a title that applies equally to Burge, Kent, Hughes and Sandvold. The wholly unholy combination of Javerbaum’s dialogue, Kent’s sure directorial hand, Hughes’ comic range, Sandvold’s dry wit and Burge’s infectious energy and wry delivery makes An Act of God a joy... to the world. And, for a limited time, the Front Range in particular.

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arts & culture Standing still and a lust for bass at The Dairy One Night Only concert features ‘Alive’ new music

ON THE BILL: One Night Only: ‘Alive.’ New Music at the Dairy. 7:30 p.m. Saturday, March 4. Gordon Gamm Theater, The Dairy Arts Center, Boulder. Tickets: 303-444-7328 or tickets.thedairy.org/Online/ mapSelect.asp.

LAFAYETTE’S LOCALLY OWNED, INDEPENDENT FISH HOUSE

he clarinetist says the hard- sitting in an old-fashioned auto shop. est part is standing still. “It has hydraulic lifts, it’s got all the The violinist also plays the tools you want, it’s got repairmen,” he piano because she has a says. “That’s where I came up with The “lust for bass.” Mechanics as the title.” It should be an interesting concert. Each movement is descriptive. For Saturday, March 4, the Dairy Arts example, Pann’s program notes describe Center will present “Alive,” a program “Hoist” as “bold music that lifts itself of new music as part of its One Night upward and never falls down,” and Only concert series. The program will “Dive Train” as “fast music ... almost feature two world premieres, as well as always driving forward,” and so forth. the regional premiere of The Mechanics: The “Alive” program opens with Six from the Shop Floor for saxophone Serenity Diptych, a multi-media work quartet by CU music professor Carter for violin, tape and still images by Pann, a Pulitzer Prize finalist in 2016. Lithuanian composer Ziboukle “Alive” is the first of six One Night Martinaityte. It was composed for vioOnly concerts schedCourtesy of The Dairy Arts Center uled for the spring. Those and other upcoming performances are listed on the Dairy Center website (thedairy.org). The Mechanics, performed by the Black Diamond Quartet, will close the program. Pann’s suite of six short movements was written for the Capitol Quartet, a group that Pann heard when they played on tour at Grusin Hall on the CU linist Karen Bentley The Black Diamond Quarcampus. Pollick, who will pertet will get their hands dirty, so to speak, as they play “I was so blown form with photoThe Mechanics: Six from away by their virtuosity graphic and video the Shop Floor. and their artistry that I imagery by Philip did something that I VanKeuren. don’t think I’ve ever done before,” Pann Pollick lives in Evergreen and has says. “I ran backstage after the concert recently given several performances in because I wanted to be the first one Boulder. She seems to have limitless there. And I said, ‘Look guys, I’ve got energy for the promotion of new to a write a piece for you!’” works. ”The definition of sanity for me Pann received a commission for the is to make art,” she says. piece, but at first he didn’t know what Serenity Diptych is part of an ongohe would write. “They had no idea I ing project of multi-media works, would write six movements,” Pann says. Violin, Viola and Video Virtuosity. “I didn’t know I would either! Nor did “The score is in two parts,” she I know the subject of the piece until I explains. “The first one is aspirational. actually sat down and wrote it.” Her imagery is climbing a mountain. The movement titles refer to And the second half would be obtainobjects that would be found in an auto ing altitude and looking down from a shop: “Hoist,” “Drive Train,” “Belt,” vista. From that point I’m playing sus“Flywheel,” “Balance” and “Trash.” tained harmonies and responding to Pann pictured the four saxophonists the sonorities of the tape.” Boulder Weekly

After Serenity Diptych, Pollick switches to piano to play the world premiere of the Andante for Contrabassoon and Piano by Russian composer Ivan Sokolov, with contrabassoonist Michael Christoph of the Boulder Bassoon Quartet. Pollick thought a piece for contrabassoon might be comical, but was “surprised when it came out to be this very beautiful Andante,” she says. “With violinists’ ears, it’s a joy to be working in this huge expanded range [of the piano]. There are times when I’m playing the same pitch or a halfstep part from the contrabassoon, in the extreme range of the piano. These are very low rumblings, and it’s very intense. “I love to play the bass. I lust for bass in my life!” The program’s second world premiere will be Danse for solo clarinet by DirkMichael Kirsch, performed by Deborah Marshall. Originally written for oboe, the Danse has been realized for clarinet by Marshall. The score is full of difficult “extended techniques,” including glissandos and multiphonics (sounding two pitches at once). It even has the clarinetist wearing bells on her ankles to be sounded in the final portion of the piece — which is why she has to stand perfectly still before the bells are called for. “I have practiced that almost the most!” she says. “Just to stand still.” Not that the rest of it is easy. “It’s one of those pieces where you have to risk everything,” Marshall says. “I call it the 3,000-calorie piece. I think if people sense that excitement, if I can bring it off, they’ll go crazy!” Also on the eclectic program are Etudes for Piano by David Rakowski, played by Amy Briggs; Briggs and Pann playing the Study No. 6 for player piano by Conlon Nancarrow; and the Boulder Bassoon Quartet accompanying ALT, a short film starring Abby Brammell.

LENT. FISH DAY. EVERY DAY.

by Peter Alexander

Take-out & Catering available 720-630-8053 www.eatreelfish.com Located at the SW corner of Arapahoe and 95th St. in Lafayette

March 2, 2017 35

EVENTS AND MUSIC FOR FROZEN DEAD GUY DAYS

SCHEDULE OF EVENTS

11am-5pm ‘Grandpa’s in the TUFF SHED’ Film

Black Forest Restaurant • free • View “Grandpa’s in the TUFF SHED” documentary (approx. every 30 minutes)

Noon Parade of Coffin Racers & Hearses

First Street • free Parade starts at the Teen Center and goes up (west on) 1st St. • Parade participants must check in and lineup at the Teen Center.

1pm The Newly Dead Game

Black Forest Restaurant • free • Buried or cremated? How well do you know your partner? Find out at the Newly Dead Game.

“A Legendary Evening” The Blue Ball • $20

ReAnimate Yourself Tent (Guercio Field) A night of dancing, live music, spirits, costumery and celebration. • Live Music with Last Revel, Dragondeer and the Gasoline Lollipops • Bredo’s Brew cryogenically crafted by Grossen Bart Brewery • Fun, Festive, Spirited Cocktails • Ice Queen and Grandpa look alike contest at 8pm/ prizes also awarded for top three legend costumes • Grandpa’s Gift Shop and Food Vendors

SATURDAY, MARCH 11 Event Viewing: Free 8am-11am FDGD Pancake Breakfast

Wild Bear Mountain Ecology Center (Caribou Shopping Center) • free Cryogenics magic show and survival skills demonstration.

11am- 8pm Grandpa’s Mall Crawl

First Street Nederland’s 1st. St. transforms into a pedestrian mall so revelers can enjoy street performers and participate in brain freezing and frozen t-shirt contests, icy turkey bowling and more!

11am-8:30pm Bacon Bourbon & Brews Tent

Located on 2nd Street • One-time $10 entry fee for ALL 3 tents • Craft breweries, local distilleries, bacon vendors and live music • Live Music (see music schedule) • Grandpa’s Gift Shop and food vendors

Community Center (Half-mile North on Hwy. 72, or take the path up Jefferson St.) • Eggs and sausage, coffee and juice and all you can eat pancakes! • $8 Adult, $5 Senior, $4 Under 12 Sponsored by and supporting Nederland Area Seniors

First Street • Craft Beer and Festive, Fun Spirited Cocktails at the Ice Bar • Live Music (see music schedule) • Grandpa’s Gift Shop and food vendors

9am-11am Registration & Wristband Pick Up

11am-1am ReAnimate Yourself Tent

Teen Center (East end of First Street) ALL event participants MUST sign a waiver and get a waiver wristband. If participating in any event, this is the best place to get everything in advance.

11am-10pm Brain Freeze / 1st St. Tent

Guercio Field • Bredo’s Brew cryogenically crafted by Grossen Bart Brewery • Live Music (see music schedule) • Grandpa’s Gift Shop and food vendors

SUNDAY, MARCH 12 Event Viewing: Free 8am-11am FDGD Pancake Breakfast

Community Center (Half-mile North on Hwy. 72, or take the path up Jefferson St.) Eggs and sausage, coffee and juice and all you can eat pancakes! • $8 Adult, $5 Senior, $4 Under 12 Sponsored by and supporting Nederland Area Seniors

Noon-3pm Snowy Human Foosball

Guercio Field • $30 / Team Like foosball, but with real people. Entry Fees will be donated to Nederland Teen Center. Spectacular prizes for winning teams

1pm Pioneer Inn Frozen T-shirt Contest

In front of the Pioneer Inn • $10 entry fee Slip into something frozen, faster than everyone else.

1-1:30pm Bring Out Your Beards!

Guercio Field • $70 per team Teams race with a coffin and ‘corpse’ through a course full of obstacles, mud, snow, other racers. • CASH PRIZE for best costumed team • Trophies (and more) for 1st, 2nd and 3rd place winners

Noon-4pm

1-2pm Rise from the Dead Fat Bike Rally

3pm-4pm Brain Freeze Contest

First Street Nederland’s First Street, east of the Visitor Center, is transformed into a pedestrian mall for revelers to enjoy music in the BrainFreezer Tent, street performers and participate in Brain Freezer, Frozen T-shirt and Icy Turkey Bowling contests and more.

2-3:30pm Famous Coffin Races

4pm-1am

On soap box on First Street across from Brain Freeze Tent Bring poems, musings and Odes to Grandpa.

Sundance Cafe, 1 mile South of Nederland on HWY 119 • $5 entry fee Farthest flung fish wins the prize

11am-5pm ‘Grandpa’s in the TUFF SHED’ Film

Guercio Field • $20/each plunge Jump into the icy tub time machine

FRIDAY, MARCH 10

5-6pm Frozen Dead Poet Society Open Readings

Noon-2pm Salmon Toss & Sunday Brunch

On 1st St. across from the Brain Freeze Tent Come strut your frosty, facial flare for the third annual Beard and Mustache contest. Fantastic prizes for 1st & 2nd Place for both “Best Mustache” and “Best Beard”. Competition sponsored by Grossen Bart Brewery

1-2pm Costume Polar Plunge

10:30am-5pm

Buried or cremated? How well do you know your partner? Find out at the Newly Dead Game.

In front of the Brain Freeze Tent • $5 entry fee Contestants race against each other downing Frozen Slushies for fabulous prizes.

3-5pm Ice Carving Competition with Bongo Love and Friends

Next to the 3B Tent View some of Colorado’s most talented ice carvers create works of art right before your eyes and vote for your favorite before it melts.

3-5pm Icy Turkey Bowling

Across from Brain Freeze Tent on 1st St. • $5 entry fee. Test your poultry bowling skills in this unusual event. You can also BYOFF (bring your own frozen fowl).

3pm and 5pm Pioneer Inn Frozen T-shirt Contest

In front of the Pioneer Inn • $10 entry fee Try and slip into something frozen, faster than everyone else.

5pm The Newly Dead Game

Black Forest Restaurant • free

Black Forest Restaurant • free • View “Grandpa’s in the TUFF SHED” documentary (approx. every 30 minutes) Wild Bear Mountain Ecology Center (Caribou Shopping Center) • free Cryogenics magic show and survival skills demonstration.

Noon-6pm Grandpa’s Mall Crawl

Noon-9pm ReAnimate Yourself Tent

Guercio Field • Bredo’s Brew cryogenically crafted by Grossen Bart Brewery • Live Music (see music schedule) • Grandpa’s Gift Shop and food vendors

Noon-9pm Brain Freeze / 1st St. Tent

First Street • Craft Beer and Festive, Fun Spirited Cocktails at the Ice Bar • Live Music (see music schedule) • Grandpa’s Gift Shop and food vendor

11am-7pm Bacon Bourbon & Brews Tent

Located on 2nd Street • Craft breweries, local distilleries, bacon vendors • Live Music (see music schedule) • Grandpa’s Gift Shop and food vendors

New this year! Competition meets costumery in this 1 mile fat bike race through downtown Ned and back to Barker Reservoir • $25 registration Mass start — top three male and female finishers receive $100 plus swag.

3-5pm Ice Carving Competition with Bongo Love and Friends

Next to the 3B Tent View some of Colorado’s most talented ice carvers create works of art right before your eyes and vote for your favorite before it melts.

1-3pm Icy Turkey Bowling

Across from Brain Freeze Tent • $5 entry fee Test your poultry bowling skills. You can also BYOFF (bring your own frozen fowl).

2-3pm Brain Freeze Contest

In front of the Brain Freeze Tent on 1st St. • $5 entry fee Contestants race against each other downing ice cold treats for fabulous prizes.

2:30-4pm Rocky Mountain Oyster Eating Contest

Stage Stop 9 (Main St, Collinsville) • $7 entry fee Contestants race to eat the most “oysters”

3pm The Newly Dead Game

Black Forest Restaurant Buried or cremated? How well do you know your partner? Find out at the Newly Dead Game.

3-4pm Frozen Dead Poet Society Open Readings

On soap box on First Street across from Brain Freeze Tent Bring poems, musings and Odes to Grandpa.

FDGD HQ:

Sponsors

151 East St., Nederland, CO 80466

Music Line Up FRIDAY, MARCH 10

BLUE BALL “A LEGENDARY EVENING” REANIMATE YOURSELF TENT $20 4:30-6PM THE LAST REVEL 6:30-8PM DRAGONDEER 8:30-10PM GASOLINE LOLLIPOPS 10:30-12AM SILENT DISCO FEATURING GANGSTERISH & SASSFACTORY

BRAINFREEZER TENT 11AM-NOON PEAK 2 PEAK 12:30PM-2PM THE FARMER SISTERS 2:30PM-4PM HAYMARKET SQUARES 4:30PM-6PM THE JAUNTEE 6:30PM-8PM 300 DAYS 8:30PM-10PM GALVARINO

BACON, BOURBON & BREWS TENT 11AM-NOON PATRICK LATELLA 12:30PM-2PM THE WHISKEY CHARMERS 2:30PM-4PM BANSHEE TREE 4:30PM-6PM DRAGONDEER 8:30PM-10PM NEDERLAND ALL STAR BAND

SUNDAY, MARCH 12 REANIMATE YOURSELF TENT 12:30PM-2PM THE LAST REVEL 2:30-4PM THE RAILSPLITTERS 4:30-6PM GREAT AMERICAN TAXI 6:30-8PM JUDGE ROUGHNECK

BRAINFREEZER TENT 12:30PM-2PM HIGHWAY 50 2:30PM-4PM HOT SOUP 4:30-6PM ATOMGA 6:30PM-8PM ONDA

BACON, BOURBON & BREWS TENT 12:30PM-2PM THE SWEET LILLIES 2:30PM-4PM DANA KYLE STOKES 4:30PM-6PM BEAUTYOFMYLAND 6:30-8PM LAST MINUTE

WWW.FROZENDEADGUYDAYS.ORG

• Gifts for any cook • Fun and colorful kitchenware • Specialty foods, local and imported • Gadgets, cookware, and kitchen essentials • Louisville’s one-of-a-kind kitchen shop 728 Main Street • Louisville • 720.484.6825 www.SingingCookStore.com

38 March 2, 2017

VOTED 1st PLACE KITCHEN SUPPLY STORE

Boulder Weekly

Courtesy of CU/Kelly Davidson

Danú. 7:30 p.m. Satruday, March 4, Macky Auditorium, 1595 Pleasant St., Boulder, 303-492-8423. see EVENTS Page 40

3/2-3 Jam Rain: A Tribute to the Beatles

3/7 Courtesy of DCPA/Richard Lovrich

March 2-3. Denver Performing Arts Complex, 1345 Champa St., Denver, 720-8654239. Through March 12. Fifty years ago, four British musicians dressed in multicolored military jackets and sang, with a little help from their friends, about the woes of love at 64 and the benefits of being Mr. Kite. The result was the legendary album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. If you’ve ever hoped to see the brilliant album come to life, head over to the Ellie Caulkins Opera House for Rain — A Tribute to the Beatles. The show will take you back to the ’60s, bringing to life every note of the iconic album. Shout good morning, fix a hole, get better and look up to Lucy in the sky. It’ll be lovely... Rita.

Boulder Weekly

Engage

3/4

Listen

Chief Littlechild.

Mipso

5:30 p.m. Tuesday, March 7, Wittemyer Court Room, 2450 Kittredge Loop Drive, Boulder, 303-735-6601

8:30 p.m. Saturday, March 4, Caribou Room, 55 Indian Peaks Drive, Nederland, 303-2583637.

As an Courtesy of CU indigenous chief and lawyer with 30 years of service on the United Nations, Chief Wilton Littlechild is one of the most decorated advocates for indigenous rights. He was a former senator in the Canadian government, an honorary chief of the Maskwacis Cree First nation, and serves on the U.N. Expert Mechanism on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples. Now, he is coming to Colorado to address a wide range of topical issues. The main focus of his talk will be on indigenous entrepreneurship, but it will also include talks on financial services and indigenous access to business. — Preston Bryant

Courtesy of Mipso

If your soul is stirred by the sound of indie folk, you’ll jump at the opportunity to see Mipso. Finally, after a sellout crowd at Lost Lake last year, they are making their return to Colorado and bringing with them a new drummer. If you’re a fan of Mipso, you can expect to hear your favorite songs with the addition of new instrumentation. They’ve gained the attention of Rolling Stone and The Guardian, and their album Old Time Reverie reached No. 1 on the Billboard Bluegrass Charts. Their string band tradition and sonic resources are sure to bring the house down yet again in Nederland. — Preston Bryant

March 2, 2017 39

events

theater

EVENTS from Page 39

Thursday, March 2 Music

Courtesy of DCPA/John Moore

3OH!3 — Fox 25th Anniversary Show. 9 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-4470095.

Enjoy a night with a flamboyant deity in An Act of God, playing through April 8. Read BW’s review on page 29.

Adult Ukulele and Songwriting Bootcamp. 7 p.m. Longmont Museum, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374. eTown Live Radio Show Taping with Alejandro Escovedo and Special Guests. 7 p.m. Etown, 1535 Spruce St., Boulder, 303-443-8696.

An Act of God. Denver Performing Arts Complex, 1345 Champa St., Denver, 720-865-4239. Through April 9.

Jason McIntyre and Friends. 8 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-4425847.

An American in Paris. Denver Performing Arts Complex, 1345 Champa St., Denver, 720-8654239. Through March 19.

Mountain Kids Storytime. 12 p.m. WOW! Children’s Museum, 110 N. Harrison Ave., Lafayette, 303-604-2424.

Disenchanted. BDT Stage, 5501 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-449-6000. Through May 6.

Opening Reception: 2016 Youth Spring Art Show. 5:30 p.m. Louisville Public Library, 951 Spruce St., Louisville, 303-335-4821.

Two Degrees. Denver Performing Arts Complex, 1345 Champa St., Denver, 720-865-4239. Through March 12.

Outback Saloon Open Mic Night. 9 p.m. Outback Saloon, 3141 28th St., Boulder, 573-569-0370.

HIR. Miner’s Alley Theatre, 1224 Washington Ave., Golden, 303-935-3044. Through March 5.

The Unsinkable Molly Brown. 7:30 p.m. Jesters Dinner Theatre, 224 Main St., Longmont, 303-6829980. Through April 2.

Reggae Night. 10 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s Irish Pub, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922. Events Boulder International Film Festival. 8 a.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-449-2289. Laughter is Sacred Space. 7 p.m. Boulder Mennonite Church, 3910 Table Mesa Drive, Boulder, 303-443-3889. Smokes & Jokes. 8:30 p.m. Johnny’s Cigar Bar, 1801 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0884. Up Down Circus — Juggling & Ground Skills Class. 4 p.m. Boulder Circus Center, 4747 N. 26th St., Boulder, 303-444-8110. Views & Brews: Lost in Translation. 7 p.m. Longmont Museum, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374. Friday, March 3 Music AJ Fullerton. 6 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847. Elise Wunder. 7 p.m. SKEYE Brewing, 900 S. Hover St., Suite D, Longmont, 303-774-7698. Espresso! Swing & Gypsy Jazz. 5 p.m. Cheese Importers, 103 Main St., Longmont, 303-772-9599. Joe Anderies Quartet. 7 p.m. Caffè Sole, 637 S. Broadway St., Boulder, 303-499-2985. Live Music. 6 p.m. Upslope Brewing Company (Lee Hill), 1501 Lee Hill Drive, Unit 20, Boulder, 303-3961898. Live Music — No Cover Charge. 9 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s Irish Pub, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-4491922. LMOE: Last Man on Earth. 7 p.m. Dickens Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont, 720-297-6397. Lowdown Brass Band at Bohemian Biergarten. 9 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-328-8328. Pair of Three. 6:30 p.m. Still Cellars, 1115 Colorado Ave., Longmont, 720-204-6064. Personae: Multimedia Solo Violin Performance. 7:30 p.m. ATLAS Institute, Black Box Theatre, 1125 18th St., 320 UCB, Boulder, 303-735-4577. The String Cheese Incident — Fox 25th Anniversary Show. 8 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-447-0095.

40 March 2, 2017

String Cheese Incident Afterparties! Featuring J.WAIL. 10:30 p.m. Owsley’s Golden Road, 1301 Broadway St., Boulder, 720-849-8458.

Boulder Chamber Orchestra Presents “The Duo.” 7:30 p.m. Grace Lutheran Church, 1001 13th St., Boulder, 303-583-1278.

Visons. 7 p.m. Mandala Infusion, 4479 N. Broadway, Boulder, 720-370-5800.

Boulder Concert Band “For the Child at Heart.” 7 p.m. First Congregational Church, 1128 Pine St., Boulder, 303-442-1787.

Events Alter/Altar: MFA Dance Works by Gwen Ritchie and Arneshia WIlliams. 7:30 p.m. Irey Theatre, 1515 Central Campus Mall, Boulder, 303-492-8008. Barley-Har-Har Comedy Open Mic Night. 9 p.m. 300 Suns Brewing, 335 First Ave., Unit C, Longmont, 720-442-8292. Beowulf: A Thousand Years of Baggage. 8 p.m. The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-468-0487. Boulder International Film Festival. 8 a.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-449-2289. Boulder International Film Festival. 12 a.m. Longmont Museum, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374. The Boulder International Film Festival VR Pavilion. 1 p.m. Galvanize Boulder, 1023 Walnut St., Boulder, 917-699-8491. Boulder Sanctuary City Celebration. 7 p.m. Shine Restaurant & Gathering Place, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0120. Dance Nia on Friday Nights. 6 p.m. Longmont Recreation Center, 310 Quail Road, Longmont, 303774-4800. First Friday Films: February Edition. 7 p.m. Firehouse Art Center, 667 Fourth Ave., Longmont, 303-651-2787. Yarn. 7 p.m. Chautauqua, 900 Baseline Road, Boulder, 303-442-3282. Saturday, March 4 Music “Alive!” New Music at the Dairy Sponsored by Arthur Lieb. 7:30 p.m. The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Beginning Harmonica. 10 a.m. Platt Middle School, 6096 Baseline Road, Boulder, 720-5615967. Ben Hammond. 6:30 p.m. Rayback Collective, 2775 Valmont Road, Boulder, 720-885-1234.

Colorado Masterworks Chorus and Orchestra Performs Handel’s “Israel in Egypt.” 7:30 p.m. First United Methodist Church, 1421 Spruce St., Boulder, 303-442-3770. Cray Day at the Bart! Crawfish Boil & Defunkt Railroad! 3 p.m. Großen Bart Brewery, 1025 Delaware Ave., Longmont, 214-770-9847. Danú. 7:30 p.m. Macky Auditorium, 1595 Pleasant St., Boulder, 303-492-8423. Defunkt Railroad. 4 p.m. Grossen Bart Brewery, 1025 Delaware Ave., Longmont, 214-770-9847. The Fremonts. 10 p.m. The No Name Bar, 1325 Broadway St., Boulder. The Good Kind. 7 p.m. Owsley’s Golden Road, 1301 Broadway St., Boulder, 720-849-8458. Happy Hour Live Jazz. 5:30 p.m. Tandoori Grill South, 619 S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-543-7339. KGNU and CFCZs Annual Mardi Gras Dance Benefit featuring Zydeco Hipsters Curley Taylor and Zydeco Trouble. 6 p.m. Avalon Ballroom, 6185 Arapahoe Road, Boulder, 303-440-8303. Live Music — No Cover Charge. 9 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s Irish Pub, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-4491922. Los Cheesies. 7 p.m. SKEYE Brewing, 900 S. Hover St., Suite D, Longmont, 303-774-7698. Lyons Old-Time Square Dance. 7 p.m. Oskar Blues Grill & Brew, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-8276322. My Blue Sky. 7 p.m. Dickens Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont, 720-297-6397. Other Black. 10 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-328-8328. Personae: Multimedia Solo Violin Performance. 7:30 p.m. ATLAS Institute, Black Box Theatre, 1125 18th St., 320 UCB, Boulder, 303-735-4577. see EVENTS Page 42

Boulder Weekly

March 2, 2017 41

events

EVENTS from Page 40

arts

The Prairie Scholars. 7 p.m. Longs Peak Pub & Taphouse, 600 Longs Peak Ave., Longmont, 303651-7886. Singer-songwriter Emma Kieran. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-7172416. The String Cheese Incident — Fox 25th Anniversary Show. 8 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-447-0095. String Cheese Incident Afterparties! Featuring J.WAIL. 10:30 p.m. Owsley’s Golden Road, 1301 Broadway St., Boulder, 720-849-8458. The Vipers. 8 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847.

Basquiat Before Basquiat: East 12th Street, 1979-1980. Museum of Contemporary Art, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303-298-7554. Through May 7. Bawdy Bodies: Satires of Unruly Women. CU Art Museum, 1085 18th St., Boulder, 303-4928300. Through June 24. Bobbie Benson. Community Art Program Gallery,

Courtesy of NCAR/Nina Senatorova

Zeta June. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First Ave., Nederland, 303-258-7733.

Meetings in Isolation — Anna Olsson. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-4407826. Through April 30.

Ryan McGinley: The Kids Were Alright. Museum of Contemporary Art, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303-298-7554. Through Aug. 20. Nina Senatorova displays her oil paintings at NCAR through March 31.

Boulder International Film Festival. 8 a.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-449-2289. Boulder International Film Festival VR Pavilion. 10 a.m. Galvanize Boulder, 1023 Walnut St., Boulder, 917-699-8491. Playback Theatre West in Longmont. 8 p.m. Still Cellars, 1115 Colorado Ave., Longmont, 720-2046064. Saturday Morning Groove. 10:30 a.m. Free Motion Dance Studio, 2126 Pearl St., Boulder, 720379-8299. Sunday, March 5 Music Alter/Altar: MFA Dance Works by Gwen Ritchie and Arneshia WIlliams. 2 p.m. Irey Theatre, 1515 Central Campus Mall, Boulder, 303-492-8008. Boulder Friends of Jazz Jam Session. 1 p.m. Avalon Ballroom, 6185 Arapahoe Road, Boulder, 303-440-8303. The Chasing Band Live. 2:30 p.m. St. Vrain Cidery, 350 Terry St., Suite 130, Longmont, 303258-6910. Happy Hour Jazz. 5:30 p.m. Tandoori Grill South, 619 S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-447-9772.

NCAR, 1850 Table Mesa Drive, Boulder, 303-4971174. Through March 31. Colorado Lowriders. Longmont Museum, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374. Through May 31. Double Exposure: An Exhibition of Photography and Video. Arvada Center, 6901 Wadsworth Blvd., Arvada, 720-898-7200. Through March 26. Dylan Gebbia Richards: Eclipse. Boulder Museum of Contempoarary Art, 1750 13th St., 303-443-2122. Through May 29. Home: American Photography at the CU Art Museum. CU Art Museum, 1085 18th St., Boulder, 303-492-8300. Through July 15. Impossible Humans: The International Collection. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Through April 9.

Dance Nia on Sunday mornings at LRC. 11 a.m. Longmont Recreation Center, 310 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-774-4800. Hawaiian Hula Classes. 5 p.m. A Place to B, 1750

Stop/Look/See — James Milmoe. Arvada Center, 6901 Wadsworth Blvd., Arvada, 720-898-7200. Through March 26. Then, Now, Next. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through Aug. 31. Transmission — Michelle Robinson. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-4407826. Through April 9. Wall Writers: Graffiti in its Innocence. Museum of Contemporary Art, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303-298-7554. Through May 7.

Music

Monday, March 6 Music

Leftover Salmon — Fox 25th Anniversary Show. 9 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-447-0095.

Anime Club. 3 p.m. Longmont Public Library, 409 Fourth Ave., Longmont, 303-651-8470.

Star Wars and the Power of Costume. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through April 2.

Tuesday, March 7

The Prairie Scholars. 4:30 p.m. Left Hand Brewery, 1265 Boston Ave., Longmont, 303-772-0258.

Adobe Premiere Pro Hands-On. 9 a.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-800-4647.

Shockwave. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through May 28.

Norooz Persian New Year Celebration 2017. 6 p.m. Glenn Miller Ballroom, University Memorial Center, Boulder, 303-492-6161.

Longmont Youth Symphony Spring Concert. 2 p.m. Longmont High School, 1040 Sunset St., Longmont, 303-725-3756.

Events

Signature — Bug. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Through April 9.

30th St., Unit 64, Boulder, 303-440-8007.

Grant Gordy and Ross Martin Guitar Workshop. 5:30 p.m. Naropa University Nalanda Campus, 2130 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 360-390-8606.

Togetherness Matters. 7 p.m. St. John’s Episcopal Church, 1419 Pine St., Boulder, 720-333-3354.

42 March 2, 2017

Matt Angiono. Community Art Program Gallery, NCAR, 1850 Table Mesa Drive, Boulder, 303-4971174. Through March 31.

Ninel Senatorova. Community Art Program Gallery, NCAR, 1850 Table Mesa Drive, Boulder, 303-4971174. Through March 31.

Adobe Illustrator Hands-On. 9 a.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-800-4647.

Beowulf: A Thousand Years of Baggage. 8 p.m. The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-468-0487.

Mathias Kessler: Artifacts & Other Errors of Perception. Boulder Museum of Contempoarary Art, 1750 13th St., 303-443-2122. Through May 29.

Mi Tierra. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through Oct. 22.

Events

Alter/Altar: MFA Dance Works by Gwen Ritchie and Arneshia WIlliams. 7:30 p.m. Irey Theatre, 1515 Central Campus Mall, Boulder, 303-492-8008.

Mark Bueno: Ghost Lights. Boulder Museum of Contempoarary Art, 1750 13th St., 303-443-2122. Through March 24.

Open Mic Night. 8 p.m. Johnny’s Cigar Bar, 1801 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0884. Events

Community Breathwork with Live Music. 6:30 p.m. Vali Soul Sanctuary, 6717 Valmont Road, Boulder, 720-393-0434. Live Music at Upslope Brewing. 6 p.m. Upslope Brewing Company (Flatiron Park), 1898 South Flatiron Court, Boulder, 303-396-1898. Open Mic with The Prairie Scholars. 6 p.m. SKEYE Brewing, 900 S. Hover St., Suite D, Longmont, 303-774-7698. Salsa Level 1. 6 p.m. Art Underground, 901 Front St., Louisville, 720-675-9656. Events

Movement Mondays. 7 p.m. Free Motion Dance Studio, 2126 Pearl St., Boulder, 720-379-8299.

Design Disruptors Documentary + Panel Discussion. 5:30 p.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-800-4647.

Movie Mondays presents Moonlight. 7 p.m. Still Cellars, 1115 Colorado Ave., Longmont, 720-204-6064.

IMPROV Round 2. 12 a.m. South Building, Congregation Har HaShem, 3950 Baseline Road, Boulder, 303-499-7077.

Tap Dance Lessons. 7:15 p.m. Viriditas Studio, 4939 N. Broadway, Suite 65, Boulder, 303-4447888.

Smokes & Jokes. 8:30 p.m. Johnny’s Cigar Bar, 1801 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0884. see EVENTS Page 44

Boulder Weekly

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March 2, 2017 43

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events

words

Courtesy of Boulder Book Store/Clayton Jenkins

Learn more about Laura Pritchett’s Coloradobased novel The Blue Hour on March 2 at the Boulder Book Store.

Thursday, March 2 Laura Pritchett — The Blue Hour. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303447-2074.

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Rebecca Eland. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303495-3303. Friday, March 3 Eli Baumgarten. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303-4953303. Saturday, March 4 Voice of the Spirit. 2 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303-495-3303. Gabrielle Civil. 4 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303-4953303. Monday, March 6

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Tuesday, March 7 Innisfree Weekly Open Poetry Reading. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303-495-3303. Wednesday, March 8 Tanja Pajevic — The Secret Life of Grief. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074. CU MFA Showcase — Erin Kyle. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303-495-3303.

EVENTS from Page 42

Snark Attack Tuesday. 4 p.m. Louisville Public Library, 951 Spruce St., Louisville, 303-335-4849. Wednesday, March 8 Music

Quality You Can Count On...

“So, You’re a Poet” Open Poetry Reading. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

A Dark Chocolate and Red Wine — House Concert Performance with Rosh and the Blind Cafe Orchestra (Free). 7 p.m. Home of Tracey and Rachael, 20 North St., Boulder. Drop-In Acoustic Jam. 6 p.m. 300 Suns Brewing, 335 First Ave., Unit C, Longmont, 720-442-8292.

SEE FULL EVENT LISTINGS ONLINE. To have an event considered for the calendar, send information to calendar@ boulderweekly. com. Please be sure to include address, date, time and phone number associated with each event. The deadline for consideration is Thursday at noon the week prior to publication. Boulder Weekly does not guarantee the publication of any event.

eTown Live Radio Show Taping with Noam Pikelny and Special Guests. 7 p.m. Etown, 1535 Spruce St., Boulder, 303-443-8696. Garage Band Workshop. 4 p.m. Louisville Public Library, 951 Spruce St., Louisville, 303-3354820. Gumbo le Funque. 7 p.m. Rosalee’s Pizzeria, 461 Main St., Longmont, 303-485-5020.

Wilson Harwood Single Release Party at Still Cellars. 6:30 p.m. Still Cellars, 1115 Colorado Ave., Longmont, 720-204-6064. World Beat — Music of Bali, Mexico and India. 2 p.m. The Dairy Center for the Arts, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Events

Midday Music Meditation. 12 p.m. Boulder Public Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-4413100.

Film Desert Utopia: Mid-Century Architecture in Palm Springs. 6 p.m. Boulder Public Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

The New Mastersounds — Fox 25th Anniversary Show. 9 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-447-0095.

Navigating the Legal Landscape for Independent Filmmakers. 6 p.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Boulder, 303-800-4647.

Open Mic Night at Sanitas Brewing Company. 7 p.m. Sanitas Brewing Company, 3550 Frontier Ave., Unit 1, Boulder, 303-442-4130.

Swing Dancing. 7 p.m. SKEYE Brewing, 900 S. Hover St., Suite D, Longmont, 303-774-7698.

Reggae Night at the Boulder House. 9 p.m. Boulder House, 1109 Walnut St., Boulder, 303997-4108.

Tap Dance Lessons. 7:15 p.m. Viriditas Studio, 4939 N. Broadway Suite 65, Boulder, 303-4447888.

Tyler T. 7 p.m. Rosalee’s Pizzeria, 461 Main St., Longmont, 303-485-5020.

Boulder Weekly

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Join us at the Boulder Shambhala Center for a talk by Joanna Macy

Thurs, March 9, 7-9pm

Liberation Dharma in the Time of the Great Unraveling Joanna Macy Ph.D., is a scholar of Buddhism, systems thinking and deep ecology.

L.A. River by Jack Cooper

I like how the mallard ducklings goofy and weak waddle up the cement incline then slide into this runoff of lawn sprinklers and car washes and how the great blue heron seems to be teleported here from the Jurassic to look for extinct species of fish but mostly I like the way the little birds fly in and out of the barbed wire with only a smear of water to keep them singing. American Life in Poetry: Column 620: All too often poets shun simple, direct, and earthy words like “tea” in favor of others that sound more sophisticated, like Earl Grey or Lapsang Souchong. But fancy words put experience at a greater distance. Here’s a delightful poem by Jack Cooper, who lives in Los Angeles, and it depends for part of its effect on words like “goofy” and “waddle.” Our experience of the poem is all the more “real” thanks to those words. Jack Cooper’s most recent book of poetry is Across My Silence (World Audience Publishers, 2007). — Ted Kooser, U.S. Poet Laureate We do not accept unsolicited submissions. American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright© 2016 by Jack Cooper, “L.A. River,” from Rattle, (No. 52, Summer 2016). Poem reprinted by permission of Jack Cooper and the publisher. Introduction copyright © 2017 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006.

$25, $10 students This event is co-sponsored by the Joanna Macy Center at Naropa University. Boulder Shambhala Center 1345 Spruce Street, Boulder Near the Boulder Theater

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March 2, 2017 45

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‘Get Out’ is scarily literal by Ryan Syrek

he satirical thesis of writer/director Jordan Peele’s Get Out is so deliciously literal, Jonathan Swift modestly proposes that his recipe has been bitten. The very real, authentically frightening, practice of white Americans brutally harvesting the culture and bodies of black people didn’t require much alteration to produce a horror film. But Peele didn’t stop at a clever conceit, instead composing an exceptionally acted, elegantly crafted thriller sure to piss off the real-life dipshit villains who inspired the only-marginally-worse fictional monsters in the movie. Chris (Daniel Kaluuya), a handsome black photographer, is off on a weekend trip to meet the parents of his white girlfriend, Rose (Allison Williams). His friend, Rod (LilRel Howery), tells him that this is a very, very bad idea. Rod is very, very right. Rose’s mom, Missy (Catherine Keener), dad, Dean (Bradley Whitford), and brother, Jeremy (Caleb Landry Jones), initially demonstrate the kind of half-assed racial ignorance and muted bigotry that black Americans have been told to find charming. Swallowing frusFollowing a young black tration with nearly every breath, Chris man who meets his white girlfriend’s parents, the flick patiently diffuses situation after situation takes literally the figurative because he loves Rose. That is, until he notichorrors of cultural consumption and mistreatment of es that every other black person he meets has black bodies. The first great gone full-Stepford. movie of 2017. The housekeepers, Walter (Marcus Henderson) and Georgina (Betty Gabriel), act fairly openly bonkers. Logan (Keith Stanfield), a guest at a party Rose’s parents throw, sets off alarm bells when he reacts to Chris’s attempted fist bump with a downright Trumpian handshake. When Chris calls Rod to discuss these events, and the minor matter of Missy hypnotizing him the night previous without his permission, Rod offers a minor variation on the film’s title, reiterating that nothing good is going to come of this. Even setting aside the important, and too-rarely-discussed, thematic issues of racial appropriation and callous mistreatment of black lives, Get Out is just a goddamn good scary movie. Peele goes beyond simplistic jump scares — although there are a few nice ones — and coaxes sheer terror from something as innocuous as the sound of a spoon circling the rim of a teacup. What’s remarkable is the level of sophistication from such an inexperienced filmmaker. For example, the ratcheting tension in the final sequence hinges not only on surface-level elements of horror movie survival but expectations about police brutality, an influence that is used to spectacular effect without ever explicitly stating anything about it. There are big laughs in Get Out too; the fear in mentioning that is inviting anyone to group Peele’s seriously substantive film with his equally brilliant work as a comedian. Rod is spectacular comic relief, but he also serves as an effective audience surrogate, Googling what we’d Google and ranting about what we’d rant about in such a situation. From Howery’s hilarity to Gabriel’s stunning incantation of the word “no” to Kaluuya’s nuanced grief at childhood tragedy, Get Out is ensemble acting at its finest in a genre not known for it. Destined for a spot on my Best of 2017 list and already cemented among my favorite horror movies of alltime, Get Out is fittingly and deservedly the first great movie released in the Trump era. This review previously appeared in The Reader of Omaha, Nebraska.

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46 March 2, 2017

Boulder Weekly

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orget “Don’t Tread on Me.” If Americans really wanted a flag that captures our collective mentality, it would be a morbidly obese snake with the words “If Some Is Good, More Is Better” written beneath it in crayon. Lego Batman takes a hilarious minor figure from The Lego Movie and attempts to compose an entire cinematic overture with a one-note character. Repetitive, noisy but not outright unpleasant, the experience is like listening to a pretty funny friend tell a bunch of knock-knock jokes during a rave. The joke — and that is joke in the singular form — inherent in the character of this version of Batman (Will Arnett) is that he’s super cool but also very lonely. Lego Batman makes The Fast and Furious franchise’s rabid, slobbering emphasis on the “importance of family” seem positively nuanced. Alfred (Ralph Fiennes), Batman’s long-suffering surrogate father figure, flogs his pseudo-son and the audience with anti-loneliness moralizing to the point where anyone watching the film by themselves may need a suicide hotline. Batman accidentally adopts Dick Grayson (Michael Cera) and butts plastic heads with the new police commissioner, Barbara Gordon (Rosario Dawson). Meanwhile, the Joker (Zach Galifianakis) is totes butthurt because Batman doesn’t consider the pair to be “arch enemies.” This leads the Clown Prince of Crime to act out like a spurned teenager, pouting for attention and throwing tantrums. This is the sum total of plot that the five credited writers decided was necessary. Presumably, everyone spent most of their time working in as many obvious Batman Easter eggs and This spin-off of a one-note Robin’s underpants jokes as possible. hilarious character from The Lego Movie feels like More than anything, Lego Batman is a one-note spin-off with far visual chaos. What had felt like innovative less hilarity. Batman (Will Arnett) fights Lego versions animation in The Lego Movie plays like of his bad guys and learns spastic gibberish this time out, with several the importance of family. Repeatedly. action sequences almost completely incomprehensible. Maybe the creative team found a way to speak in a hyperkinetic, sugarinjection-to-the-eyeball language only young people can speak? Mostly, it looked like someone put loosely connected Legos on a playground roundabout and a real strong kid spun it until there were pieces everywhere. The jokes that land consist solely of Bat-references and goofy business from the Joker’s gang of malcontents. Considering that the likes of Jenny Slate, Doug Benson, Jason Mantzoukas, Kate Micucci, Riki Lindhome and Conan O’Brien voice the rogues gallery, the biggest surprise is how little they appear. Ditto on the use of fellow superheroes like Superman (Channing Tatum) and Green Lantern ( Jonah Hill). The climactic sequence that sees Harry Potter’s Voldemort (Eddie Izzard) and The Lord of the Rings’ Sauron ( Jermaine Clement) added to the fray — along with the always-welcome Daleks from Doctor Who — is the only bit to fully embrace the creative freedoms afforded the franchise. This has been called the “best Batman on screen ever.” It isn’t. It’s been called a “worthy successor” to The Lego Movie. Nope. What it can be called is “mostly pleasant” or “mildly amusing,” which doesn’t sound as good in trailers or on posters. If the Lego series hopes to have staying power, and yet another upcoming spinoff this year sure makes it look like that’s the dream, maybe lay off the simplistic moralizing and epilepsy-inducing visuals? This review previously appeared in The Reader of Omaha, Nebraska.

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deep dish BY CAITLIN ROCKETT

ack in the late 1980s, an Ethiopian restaurant called Ras Kassa’s set up shop at the junction of Eldorado Canyon and U.S. 93. It was from this strange and somewhat desolate outpost that Tsehey and Richard Hailu formed what would become an institution in Boulder, eventually moving the business to its longtime location at a shopping center at Pearl and 30th streets. Boulder Weekly has devoted quite a few words to Ras Kassas over the years. We’ve mused over the delight derived from eating an entire meal with no silverware, and waxed poetic about the spongy, tangy perfection of injera, the Ethiopian bread that replaces cutlery.

Caitlin Rockett

some are too big or too small, but the rent is very high,” Tsehay said. “The people who couldn’t afford to open in Boulder moved to Louisville, Lafayette and Longmont.” And just this year, that’s what Ras Kassa’s did. Boulder County’s favorite Ethiopian joint now has permanent digs again at 802 South Public Road in Lafayette. They will also continue their take-out business at the Broker Inn. The new Lafayette location is sunny and spacious, with a back corner filled with mesob, but plenty of regular dining tables. And there’s still that same comforting, spicy

Ras Kassa’s is back and that’s a very good thing We’ve marveled at the mesob, the colorful handwoven wicker baskets around which diners sit and eat equally colorful plates of savory beef, lamb, lentils, collard greens and potatoes. Back in 2016, Boulder Weekly’s own John Lehndorff called Ras Kassa’s “the coolest culinary anomaly” he’d ever encountered in his life as a food writer. It was, he wrote, “the first (and still only) place I’ve ever allowed anyone, much less a restaurant owner, put food directly in my mouth with her fingers. Somehow it was OK when it was Tsehay Hailu.” Lehndorff wrote this just one year after Ras Kassa’s was forced out of its home on 30th Street. The whole shopping center had been sold to be redeveloped as Google’s new campus. Other businesses in the shopping center, like The Drum Shop and Aspen Pizza, were also ousted from the plaza. Tsehay and her husband spent the next year looking for a permanent home for Ras Kassa’s in Boulder, with Tsehay setting up a temporary shop in the Broker Inn, cooking up mostly take-out orders. She spoke openly to Lehndorff about the struggle of their search. “There are not many spaces available in Boulder —

smell when you walk in the door. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: the best way to experience Ras Kassa’s is through the combination plates. If you’re with a friend, grab a dinner for two — strictly vegetarian or a combination vegetarian/ meat entrée — and prepare to settle in and eat. Go slow, dear reader. A meal at Ras Kassa’s is a marathon, not a sprint. The meal starts with a simple, delicious, small order of house-made hummus and injera (note: everything is house-made) before exploding into a huge tray of classic Ethiopian cuisine. Each dinner for two is centered around an Ethiopian salad (a simple and fairly traditional salad with lettuce, tomatoes and a light coating of seasoned oil and vinegar). A house (and personal) favorite is the yebeg tibs, lamb sautéed with onions and peppers. There’s also the comforting metatesh, which is a spicy and sweet potato stew. There are also several types of spicy Ethiopian stews known as wot. A combo plate with meat dishes will allow you to enjoy doro wot, the national dish of Ethiopia and one of all of Africa’s

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most famous dishes, with chunks of bone-in chicken and whole hardboiled eggs swimming in the spiciest sea of broth. From what I’ve read, there are a couple of keys to making great doro wot: One is to slow cook the onions. It can take hours to prepare doro wot. The other key is quality berbere, a mix of spices common to Ethiopian food that is often different from one cook to another, but commonly contains chili peppers, garlic, ginger and basil... and some spices you’ve likely never heard of like korarima, rue, ajwain, nigella and fenugreek. We’re thrilled that Ras Kassa’s is back. Oh, and just remember, there’s a hunk of chocolate cake with raspberries coming after that sampler platter. Go slow. Ras Kassa’s 802 South Public Road. Lafayette, 303-604-6885.

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cuisine

Fishing by Amy Pature expedition:

Sourcing, serving and splurging on caviar

aviar is the epitome of seductive luxury. These pricey eggs come from a white fish called sturgeon, which have been swimming in the Caspian and Black Sea for 200 million years or more. Trouble is, caviar production is notoriously difficult. It takes anywhere from six to 25 years, for the fish to grow large enough to produce eggs for caviar. So it’s no wonder sturgeon roe is among the most expensive delicacies in the culinary world commanding up to $400 an ounce. “There’s nothing in the world like caviar,” says Christopher Klapp, general manager of Petrossian Restaurant & Boutique in West Hollywood, California. “It adds elegance to any dish with a range of colors, textures and flavors.” Dubbed “black pearls” by culinary connoisseurs, caviar is no longer reserved for the rich and famous. In fact, these extravagant eggs are increasingly appearing in dishes that appeal to the masses. They’re even sometimes stocked in vending machines in suburban shopping malls. Maybe it’s because people want to feel posh. Or maybe it’s a result of increased availability and a slightly reduced cost thanks to farming technology. Whatever the reason, a growing number of chefs are showcasing the luxury ingredient in new, daring, even bizarre ways. see CAVIAR Page 52

Boulder Weekly

March 2, 2017 51

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Caviar should look glossy, plump and beautiful. And when you open the tin, it should sing — like the snap, crackle, pop of Kellogg’s Rice Krispies, but more discreet. Once you place the brilliant beads on your tongue, eating caviar becomes a sensual experience, says Ben Pollinger, executive chef at Oceana in New York. The texture should be firm, but turn creamy when it pops in your mouth. And the consistent-sized round eggs should have a clean, sea-like flavor without bitterness or excess salt. There are myriad species of sturgeon caviar, including Beluga, Transmontanus, Ossetra and Siberian, and different grades of roe within those species. “We look at these species in the same way you look at different varietals of grapes for wine,” says Klapp, who carries five different species at Petrossian. “Each species has different colors and textures and flavor profiles.” The Transmontanus, or white sturgeon, for instance, is available in five grades: Classic, Royal, Imperial, Alverta President and Special Reserve. “In that particular species you see a very wide range of color, size, texture and flavor,” Klapp explains. “But if you go to a different product like Siberian caviar, there are only two grades and both are relatively consistent. You don’t see as wide of a variation in flavor or color. They’re mostly jet black with a few hints of gray.” Connoisseurs revere Beluga as the best of the best. “There’s no duplicating it,” Klapp says. But Beluga is critically endangered in the wild, and has been banned for more than a decade, and it isn’t the only species of sturgeon in short supply.

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CAVIAR from Page 51

Industry experts view sturgeon fishing as “gold-mining” since the caviar trade is so profitable. It’s also corrupt. Caviar-producing wild sturgeon of all types have been smuggled, poached and overfished to the brink of extinction, according to the World Wildlife Fund (WWF). During the 1990s the total catch was dramatically increased by unprecedented illegal harvest. WWF estimates poaching activity in the Volga-Caspian basin alone at 10-12 times the legal catch. Since then, sturgeon fishing fell under a series of strict international quotas, and in 2008 the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species (CITES) banned the practice entirely. Today the only caviar on the market comes from fish raised in tanks (aka farms). Industry leaders believe farm-raised sturgeon will ultimately replace wild entirely, not only stabilizing the industry, but also preserving the ancient fish in the wild. ‘The last 15 years has really been a complete shift from wild caviar to farmraised,” Klapp says. In 2005, only FIVE farms produced caviar compared to 12 in 2012, according to the United States Department of Agriculture. Even with the farmed variety, producers must invest significant time, energy and precision technology to produce quality caviar. “The selecting of the eggs, the salting of the eggs, the storing and maturing of the eggs, all of these processes require significant expertise,” Klapp says — and that’s after you have fish that are mature enough to produce eggs. “It’s definitely more art than science,” he says. Indeed, farms that raise sturgeon are like the Fort Knox of fisheries. Tanks are outfitted with intricate computer systems. Fish sport microchips that monitor temperature, oxygen levels and nutrient levels. And once the sturgeon are mature, producers have a painstaking process for creating quality caviar. They extract the eggs, wash them in cold water and then sieve them to remove the roe sack and fatty membrane. Then they salt the eggs, pack them in lacquer-lined tins and chill them prior to distribution. So it’s no wonder industry experts say caviar will always be a luxury product. As for Beluga, few farms are willing to take on the challenge of raising such a gargantuan fish with no guarantee of success. “It’s not like you start raising fish and magically at 16 years, you have caviar. There are a million and one things you have to do to get it right,” Klapp says. A producer who gets 15 years into the process and realizes none of the eggs are good would risk financial ruin. “There’s much less value in the market for sturgeon meat. It’s all about the eggs. So, you can see why there are few investors in the world looking to take on the challenge of farm raising Beluga sturgeon,” Klapp says. The good news: experts agree certain varieties of farmed caviar taste as good as wild. Even producers often can’t distinguish between the two. see CAVIAR Page 54

Boulder Weekly

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CAVIAR from Page 52

Pushing eggs

Traditionally served with toast, blinis (small buckwheat pancakes) or creme fraiche, caviar is now appearing in everything from soup to tacos. While experts agree high quality ossetras, Siberian, even transmontanus varieties should stand alone (or with a spoon), today’s chefs have more opportunity than ever to experiment with lower-grade caviar. That more affordable price point

enables chefs to explore caviar in a playful way that not only tickles the palate, but also allows diners to indulge without breaking the bank. So, caviar that has a stronger flavor, a bitter note, or a texture that’s less than perfect, for example, can transform a pasta dish, salad or something as simple as scrambled eggs. “As a chef, you have to make caviar approachable in both price and presentation,” says Alex Becker, executive chef at

Kuro at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, Florida, who serves caviar with pasta, rice, even fried chicken in Kuro’s signature Crispy Chicken Bun. “The goal is to make an impact on the flavor without making the dish too expensive.” Incorporating caviar into American staples such as scrambled eggs, salads, even grilled cheese makes it more palatable to consumers who might otherwise be put off

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by eating fish eggs. At Petrossian restaurant in Hollywood, for example, caviar finagles its way into nearly every dish. Even Petrossian’s dirty martini is served with a caviar-stuffed olive. “We’re trying to get people around to the idea that caviar can be an affordable luxury,” Klapp says. “Caviar shouldn’t be reserved only for fine dining and special occasions.’ To that end, Petrossian’s West Hollywood restaurant incorporates caviar into a $14 soft scrambled egg topped with caviar, a $32 caviar salad, even a $32 flatbread, which gets dolloped with 20 grams of caviar. “The flatbread is a very easy way for people to experience caviar for the first time because they’re technically eating a slice of pizza,” says creator Giselle Wellman, executive chef at Petrossian Restaurant & Boutique in West Hollywood, California. The real challenge, of course, is to make caviar sing in a dish — to ensure its delicate flavor and texture isn’t upstaged by other flavors. The best way to achieve that goal, says Wellman, is to view it as a flavor profile and go from there. Caviar is salty, it has a clean ocean flavor and a signature pop that you try to balance with other ingredients. Safe bets include things like eggs, onions, chives, creme fraiche and sour cream. Once you feel comfortable there, you can get a little more creative. To make the experience less intimidating, Petrossian sells dried caviar powder with a shelf life of six months that chefs can easily incorporate into myriad dishes. “You can sprinkle it into your eggs just like pepper,” Wellman says, or make a caviar-dusted rim for a signature martini. Since Wellman has unlimited access to the delectable powder, she has even infused it into taco shells, shortbread cookies, even macaroons. “It’s a play on salty and sweet,” she says, with interesting results. “Some people love it, some people hate it, but few have tried anything like it.” Still, traditionalists maintain that caviar is best appreciated on its own, or with a frozen Russian vodka or dry Champagne. These days, you might even see caviar paired with Belgian ale — something light and crisp that doesn’t compete with the flavor of the caviar. But if you ask a true connoisseur, caviar is best enjoyed cold and with a spoon (motherof-pearl, of course!). Amy Paturel is a health writer in California and a blogger for SELF.com. She holds masters degrees in nutrition and public health, both from Tufts University in Boston, Massachusetts. Boulder Weekly

drink Tour de brew: Bootstrap Brewing The high art of the gateway beer by Michael J. Casey

o you remember the beer that made you fall in love? Was it the Coors Light ON THE BILL: you snuck out of your Dad’s beer coolBootstrap Brewing. er? Was it Pabst Blue Ribbon from a 6778 N. 79th St., Niwot, 303-652-4186, bootstrapkeg cup at a graduation party? Or was brewing.com. it the first beer that made you sit back and think about what you were actually drinking? If you were anything like me, you didn’t know a damn thing about hops, malt and yeast. You just knew that this was different. This was delicious. Some call them “gateway beers,” others “crossovers,” as they hold the drinker’s hand and escort them to funkier, heavier things. For a lot of people, golden ales unlocked that door. These straw colored pints look an awful lot like the common American lager but they contain just a little bit more malt, a touch more citrus and a faint hint of fruit. They say to the drinker, “See, I can be more. Come take a Susan France look. Don’t worry, I won’t bite.” That moment can come at any time to drinkers of any (legal) age and on a recent trip to Niwot’s Bootstrap Brewing, it was the gateway beers that stuck: 1956 Golden Ale and Chillax Pineapple Gold (both 4.5% ABV). The 1956 Golden Ale — the name is a nod to owner Steven Kaczeus’s dad who was one of the students occupying the University of Budapest during the 1956 Hungarian Revolution — is exactly what you would expect, crisp and light with some mild malt; just As the weather warms up, enjoy a cold on the patio of the sort of beer that my Bootstrap Brewing. grandmother from Mitchell, South Dakota found enjoyable. Hot hops and strong stouts aren’t exactly Grandma Mary’s thing but delicious beer is, and she found it in the second golden ale Bootstrap brews: Chillax Pineapple Gold. Chillax is essentially 1956 plus pineapple, but the sum is greater than its parts. As Grandma delicately and respectably set the glass of Chillax back down, there was a distinct twinkle in her eye and warmness in its color. After a moment of quiet contemplation, she leaned over to me and said, “That one’s going to be dangerous for females.” There were nine other Bootstrap offerings to try, but I don’t think we topped the Chillax. The NutStrap Imperial Coffee Stout (7.6%), served on nitro, has a beautiful nose with a smooth and balanced body; the Schwarzbier (5.5%), a German black lager, has a light and toasted quality for those who need a little more kick than the 1956; and the Backfire Chili (4.5%) is for those who demand that their beer pepper the back of their throat with punishment. For Grams and me, Chillax is where it’s at. Especially since we can toast to the unseasonably warm weather and bright sunny days on Bootstrap’s Niwot patio. And with a Longmont outpost in the works, Bootstrap should have plenty of that sweet golden on tap for Boulder County during the summer months as well. Grandma might end up being a regular. Boulder Weekly

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GREEN IS GOOD

As Boulder’s newest dispensary, we expected curious bud tenders from other shops to visit Drift. Part curiosity, part competitive analysis. What we didn’t anticipate was the reaction of one bud tender, who was amazed and delighted by Drift’s array of flower—fiery and dank, frosty and dense. Lamenting that her store’s grow operation hadn’t produced an exceptional harvest in weeks and had no strains testing over 28%, she announced that she intended to steer her most discriminating customers our way. We were flabbergasted and humbled.

Drift scours the state for the finest flower from boutique independent growers. We’re proud to partner with a handful of artisans to offer a diverse collection of strains renowned for their aroma and taste, bud structure and aesthetic appeal, and, of course, their potency. Here are just a few of the items on our menu: Ecto Cooler. Indica hybrid. California Orange x Gorilla Biscuit. Subtle scents of citrus and diesel

producing a deliciously paradoxical high: creative arousal wrapped in serenity. 31.25%. $32/8th

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ARIES

LIBRA

the title of Master Composter no later than March 26. Not necessarily because you will have packed your food scraps, wilted flowers, coffee grounds and shredded newspapers in, say, a deluxe dual-chamber tumbling compost bin. But rather because you will have dealt efficiently with the rotting emotions, tattered habits, decrepit melodramas and trivial nonsense that has accumulated; you will have worked hard to transform all that crap into metaphorical fertilizer for your future growth. Time to get started!

bemoaned the fact that so many of us “squander our sorrows.” Out of self-pity or lazy self-indulgence, we wallow in memories of experiences that didn’t turn out the way we wished they would have. We paralyze ourselves with repetitions of depleting thoughts. Here’s an alternative to that approach: We could use our sadness and frustrations to transform ourselves. We could treat them as fuel to motivate our escape from what doesn’t work, to inspire our determination to rise above what demoralizes and demeans us. I mention this, Libra, because now is an excellent time to do exactly that.

MARCH 21-APRIL 19: I predict that you will have earned

TAURUS

APRIL 20-MAY 20: It’s a good time for you to wield

your emotional intelligence with leadership and flair. The people you care about need more of your sensitive influence. Any posse or tribe you’re part of will benefit from your thoughtful intervention. So get out there and build up the group morale, Taurus. Assert your healing ideals with panache. Tamp down the insidious power of peer pressure and fashionable nonsense. You have a mandate to wake up sleepy allies and activate the dormant potential of collective efforts.

GEMINI

MAY 21-JUNE 20: If you were ever in your life going

to be awarded an honorary Ph.D. from a top university, it would happen in the next few weeks. If there were even a remote possibility that you would someday be given one of those MacArthur Fellowship “genius” grants, now would be the time. Likewise if you had any hopes of being selected as one of “The World’s Sexiest Chameleons” or “The Fastest, Sweetest Talkers on Earth” or “The Planet’s Most Virtuoso Vacillators,” the moment has arrived. And even if none of those things happen, I’m still pretty sure that your reputation and status will be on the rise.

CANCER

JUNE 21-JULY 22: You’re wandering into places you’ve

always thought you should be wary of or skeptical about. Good for you! As long as you protect your innocence, I encourage you to keep exploring. To my delight, you have also been fantasizing about accomplishments that used to be off-limits. Again, I say: Good for you! As long as you don’t overreach, I invite you to dream boldly, even brazenly. And since you seem to be in the mood for big thinking, here are other revolutionary activities to consider: dissolving nonessential wishes; transcending shrunken expectations; escaping the boring past; busting irrelevant taboos.

LEO

JULY 23-AUG. 22: I did a good job of raising my daugh-

ter. She turned out to be a thoughtful, intelligent adult with high integrity and interesting skills. But I’m not sure my parenting would have been as effective if I’d had more kids. I discussed this issue with Nathan, a guy I know. His six offspring are all grown up, too. “How did you do it?” I asked him. “Having just one child was a challenging job for me.” “I’ll tell you my secret,” Nathan told me. “I’m a bad father. I didn’t work very hard on raising my kids. And now they never let me forget it.” In the coming weeks and months, Leo, I recommend that you pursue my approach in your chosen field, not Nathan’s. Aim for high-quality intensity rather than scattershot quantity.

VIRGO

AUG. 23-SEPT. 22: In her poem “Not Anyone Who

Says,” Virgo writer Mary Oliver looks down on people who declare, “I’m going to be careful and smart in matters of love.” She disparages the passion of anyone who asserts, “I’m going to choose slowly.” Instead she champions those who are “chosen by something invisible and powerful and uncontrollable and beautiful and possibly even unsuitable.” Here’s my response: Her preferred formula sounds glamorous and dramatic and romantic — especially the powerful and beautiful part. But in practice it rarely works out well — maybe just 10 percent of the time — mostly because of the uncontrollable and unsuitable part. And now is not one of those times for you, Virgo. Be careful and smart in matters of love, and choose slowly.

Boulder Weekly

SEPT. 23-OCT. 22: The poet Rainer Maria Rilke

SCORPIO

OCT. 23-NOV. 21: It’s time for the Bliss Blitz — a new

holiday just for you Scorpios. To celebrate it properly, get as buoyant as you dare; be greedy for euphoria; launch a sacred quest for pleasure. Ah, but here’s the big question: Can you handle this much relief and release? Are you strong enough to open yourself to massive outbreaks of educational delight and natural highs? Some of you may not be prepared. You may prefer to remain ensconced in your protective sheath of cool cynicism. But if you think you can bear the shock of unprecedented exaltation and jubilation, then go ahead and risk it. Experiment with the unruly happiness of the Bliss Blitz.

SAGITTARIUS

NOV. 22-DEC. 21: In his book The Horologicon, Mark Forsyth gathered “obscure but necessary” words that he dug out of old dictionaries. One of his discoveries is a perfect fit for you right now. It’s “snudge,” a verb that means to walk around with a pensive look on your face, appearing to be busy or in the midst of productive activity, when in fact you’re just goofing off. I recommend it for two reasons: 1. It’s important for your mental and physical health that you do a lot of nothing; that you bless yourself with a healing supply of refreshing emptiness. 2. It’s important for your mental and physical health that you do this on the sly as much as possible; that you avoid being judged or criticized for it by others.

CAPRICORN

DEC. 22-JAN. 19: I wish your breakfast cereal came in

boxes decorated with Matisse and Picasso paintings. I wish songbirds would greet you each morning with sweet tunes. I wish you’d see that you have more power than you realize. I wish you knew how uniquely beautiful you are. I wish you’d get intoxicated with the small miracles that are happening all around you. I wish that when you made a bold move to improve your life, everyone greeted it with curiosity and excitement. And I wish you would let your imagination go half-wild with fascinating fantasies during this, the Capricorn wishing season.

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JAN. 20-FEB. 18: “You’re a different human being to everybody you meet,” says novelist Chuck Palahniuk. Now is an excellent time to contemplate the intricacies and implications of that amazing truth — and start taking better advantage of how much freedom it gives you. Say the following statements out loud and see how they feel: 1. “My identity isn’t as narrowly circumscribed as I think it is.” 2. “I know at least 200 people, so there must be at least 200 facets to my character.” 3. “I am too complicated to be completely comprehended by any one person.” 4. “Consistency is overrated.”

PISCES

FEB. 19-MARCH 20: Your immediate future is too good

to be true. Or at least that’s what you, with your famous self-doubt, might be inclined to believe if I told you the truth about the favorable developments that are in the works. Therefore, I have come up with some fake anxieties to keep your worry reflex engaged so it won’t sabotage the real goodies. Beware of dirty limericks and invisible ladders and upside-down rainbows and psychic bunny rabbits. Be on guard against accountants wearing boxing gloves and clowns singing Broadway show tunes in runaway shopping carts and celebrities telling you classified secrets in your dreams.

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Dear Dan: I’m a fan from way back. A therapist told me to go out and have some fun — I’m a married woman with teen boys and feeling a bit lonely — but I’m not looking to have an affair. I just want a spanking now and then. I found the one kink club I visited in New York to be kind of depressing, and my spanking friends are more of a social group who hang out on the weekends. I just need a little recreation — some good, clean spanking fun. Would love your advice. — Seeks Paddling And Needs Know-How Dear SPANK: Kink enthusiasts, like dentists and accountants and troglodytes (hey there, CPAC), have conventions, SPANK, where like-minded/ employed/aroused folks meet and socialize before heading up to their hotel rooms for some good, clean kinky fun. I think you should get your ass to one of the many spanking conventions out there — and so does Jillian Keenan, journalist and author of Sex with Shakespeare, a memoir about your shared kink (spanking) and how Shakespeare’s plays helped Keenan discover and accept herself, as a human being and as a kinkster. (It sounds like a stretch, I realize, but do yourself a favor and read Sex with Shakespeare — it’s a funny, moving read, and it’s

Boulder Weekly

SAVAGE

Love

by Dan Savage

packed with fresh and convincing kinky reads on Shakespeare’s plays.) “National parties are a great way to get safe, fun, no-sex spankings and meet other people in the scene in a low-pressure environment,” says Keenan, who sent along a list of events all over the country: Shadow Lane (Las Vegas), Boardwalk Badness Weekend (Atlantic City), Crimson Moon (Chicago), Spanking Club of New York (New York City), Texas All State Spanking Party (Dallas), and Lone Star Spanking Party (Houston). “There are some parties I’ve chosen not to attend for political reasons,” Keenan says. “The spanking community isn’t immune to heteronormative bullshit, unfortunately, and some parties explicitly prohibit M/m play. Any party for sexual minorities that prohibits expressions of other minority sexual identities doesn’t deserve our time or our money!” Dear Dan: I’m a straight man who was recently dumped over text by a

woman after we dated for about four months. I thought we were in love, but she said she doesn’t have room for a relationship in her life right now. I know this is BS. I think she dumped me so that she could sleep with another guy. In fact, I think I know who the guy is. Anyway, I recently had some rebound sex (it was awesome), and the whole time during it, all I could think about was my ex-girl sleeping with this other guy, and it kind of turned me on. Am I weird? — Moving On, Remembering Ex Dear MORE: When you say you know “this is BS,” MORE, I trust you’re referring to the text she sent when she dumped you — “I don’t have room for a relationship right now” — because that is definitely bullshit. People say that to be kind, and it’s our job to hear what they’re really saying: “I’m not interested in being in a relationship with you, right now or ever.” But if what you mean by “this is BS” is that she loves you too but had to call it off to go fuck some other guy and you

still might have a shot with her, please disabuse yourself of that belief. Now, in answer to your question, MORE, you’re not weird. I don’t think your reaction is typical, but variance is the norm when it comes to human sexuality. It’s high time we all embraced this bit of cognitive dissonance: Everyone is weird, so no one is weird. If you and your ex are still speaking/texting, and you think you may be on potential future-FWB terms, MORE, you could go for broke and tell her about your weird-but-notweird (and unexpected) reaction to the thought of her with this other guy. If your convos gravitate toward sex or sexy memories — mutually — let her know you’re up for either a FWB/ MMF threesome sometime or some cuckolding-themed dirty texting. She may be game, she may not be — but nothing ventured, nothing gained. ITMFA! Let people know you want to impeach the motherfucker already! Get ITMFA buttons, T-shirts, hats, mugs, lapel pins, and more at ITMFA.org. All proceeds benefit the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and the International Refugee Assistance Project. Send questions to mail@savagelove.net and follow @fakedansavage on Twitter.

March 2, 2017 63

EEDBETWEENTHELINES

by Sarah Haas

Hope you’re ready for the next episode

hen it comes to the revolutionary, there is always the question of what comes next — a slippery slope to doomsville or the first step toward paradise? This is certainly the case with marijuana legalization — reasonable as it might be, it is still a new and unsettled idea in modern social consciousness — one that is quickly returning to the ranks of the contentious amid the presi- Courtesy of the Oregon Psilocybin Society dential transition. So, while many might have expected federal marijuana legalization the next revolution in turn, it is just as likely to be a broadening of legalization to other illegal drugs and substances. In that vein, the Oregon Psilocybin Society (OPS) is launching an initiative to bring “magic” mushrooms into the folds of state-level legalization. “Legalization of psilocybin is significant for more than just how effective and life changing psilocybin services are to individuals who engage in it,” says co-founder of OPS Tom Eckert. “It’s also what it represents on the social level; the idea that we could accept this says something about how we as a culture are beginning to value working inwardly.” As of now, the Oregon Psilocybin Initiative (OPI) is not quite an initiative but more like an evolving blueprint which, with adequate support, could make its way to the ballot in Oregon’s general election cycle in 2020. If passed, the measure would provide regulated access to psilocybin by way of regulated therapeutic-like services. Chief advisor to OPI, Boulder-based Michael

Boulder Weekly

Jacobs, says they are well on the path toward turning the nascent effort into a full-fledged campaign: “The state of Oregon recently provided legislative counsel to the effort. The legal language is almost finalized and the grassroots network of support is growing quickly and across state lines, as Colorado emerged as an important, progressive partner in generating a national base of support.” Marijuana legalization undoubtedly paved the way — cutting through anti-drug stigmas, challenging the validity of criminalization models, paving a stepped path to legalization (medical markets giving way to recreational) and bolstering the idea that the votes of ordinary citizens could add up to real change. Without the full litany of obstacles aimed at thwarting its success, psilocybin is getting attention for proving very (very) effective in treating notoriously difficult to treat conditions like end-of-life anxiety, chronic depression and addiction with mind-blowing effectiveness. As just one example, in a 2016 study performed by Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine that appeared in the Journal of Psychopharmacology, it was reported that 80 percent of patients showed “large decreases in clinician and self-rated measures of depressed mood and anxiety, along with increases in quality of life, life meaning, and optimism, and decreases in death anxiety.” Six months later the results were sustained without further treatment. The research findings are significant enough that

psilocybin is rounding out of phase 2 of the FDA approval processes for the treatment of end-of-life anxiety in cancer patients. By comparison, the FDA has not approved marijuana as a safe and effective drug for any indication, despite its having achieved medical legalization in 28 states and D.C. “That being said, we don’t necessarily think or believe that moving through an FDA approval process will lead to the kind of service availability that we are interested in,” Eckert says. “On the federal level we are very skeptical, which is what motivated us to look at this on the state level.” Eckert doesn’t believe that trying to incorporate psilocybin into existing medical and pharmaceutical models will work. To the contrary, he thinks it will zap the substance of what makes it so powerfully effective. “Psilocybin works because of the experience that it gives you and how you integrate the experience afterwards, not because the drug remains in your blood stream [as is the case with most pharmaceutical drugs],” Eckert says. “This is a revolutionary approach to mental health, the idea that the substance can induce an experience that essentially tears you away from stuck states of mind, including the depressive, anxious and addictive patterns.” Eckert is strict in clarifying that OPS is not proposing a full-fledged legalization effort (“To be honest, I am kind of agnostic about full legalization,” he admits). Instead, he is focused on what he knows works, on what the research is confirming as effective and safe, which is a regulated sequence of intake guided by trained facilitators. With the solid research serving as foundation, OPI is hoping to seize on the unprecedented grassroots energy pulsing in progressive states like Oregon and Colorado, and both Eckert and Jacobs are optimistic they can collect the 88,000 signatures required to bring the initiative to the Oregon ballot in 2020, and to Colorado soon after. “It’s not really a time for bargaining for mediocrity,” Eckert says. “It’s a time where we are either gonna slide back or we are gonna have a cathartic reclaiming of something we believe in, and I think that ‘something’ is our own consciousness.”

March 2, 2017 65

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cannabis corner

by Paul Danish

Susan France

he most important thing about marijuana in Trump’s speech to a joint session of Congress last Tuesday was what was left unsaid. Starting with the fact that the word “marijuana” wasn’t used. The speech contained two or three sentences about the supposedly unprecedented flow of drugs pouring into the country across the southern border and poisoning our young people. And it called for more support for local law enforcement’s efforts to wipe out international drug cartels operating in American cities — rhetoric which is practically de rigueur for a Republican president wanting to mollify the party’s drug war dead-ender caucus. There was, however, no mention of or call for a crack-down on pot grown legally under state laws (or illegally for that matter) in the U.S. by Americans. Nor was there any mention of either medical or recreational marijuana dispensaries that operate legally under state laws. Trump’s anti-drug remarks were framed entirely in the context of border security and the criminal activity of illegal aliens. You got the sense that he sees drugs almost exclusively as a rationalization for building the wall. If you didn’t know better, you could almost view his remarks as a tacit “America first” defense of the domestic marijuana industry against foreign competition. The speech just reinforces the impression created earlier by White House spokesman Sean Spicer and Attorney General Jeff Sessions that the Trumpsters a) don’t know much about marijuana, and b) are genuinely dazed and confused as to what they should do about it. Thus we have Spicer claiming that “there’s a big difference between [medical] and recreational marijuana”, and that “when you see something like the opioid addiction crisis blossoming in so many states around this country, the last thing we should be doing is encouraging people” to use marijuana.

business or pot itself. With alcohol it was different; alcohol prohibition caused plenty of violence, as alcohol use itself did — and does. It’s hard to believe the Trump administration’s marijuana policy will be based on such threadbare reasoning — especially given the fact that the president is a poll junkie and a Quinnipiac Poll released last week found the following: • 59 percent of Americans favor legalizing recreational marijuana. • 93 percent of Americans favor legalizing medical marijuana. • 71 percent of Americans want the federal government to respect state laws in states where marijuana is legal. Trump may be mercurial, but he is not stupid, and poll results like those make it abundantly clear that an attempted federal crackdown of the sort Sessions might like to see amounts to a political death wish. The polling also suggests an obvious marijuana policy for the Trump administration: Declare that marijuana regulation should be made a matter of states’ rights and endorse passage of the Respect State Marijuana Laws Act recently introduced in the House of Representatives by Rep. Dana Rohrabacher’s (R-California) and co-sponsored by a dozen others, including Boulder Rep. Jared Polis. The bill avoids the issue of changing marijuana’s irrational Schedule I controlled substance status. The federal government can continue to treat marijuana just as irrationally and dishonestly as it has in the past, but it must respect a decision by a state government to do otherwise. This is essentially the approach embodied in the 21st Amendment to the Constitution, which repealed the 18th Amendment and ended prohibition. From the Trump administration’s perspective it would also have the virtue of (mixed metaphor alert) kicking the can into Congress’ court instead of down the road.

The best part of Trump’s remarks on drugs... Actually, the only difference between medical and recreational marijuana is in who gets access and how they are regulated and taxed. And if Spicer genuinely thinks that marijuana is somehow responsible for the opioid crisis, he is pig-ignorant. The cause of the opioid addiction crisis is well known, and marijuana isn’t responsible for it. Doctors writing millions of prescriptions for legal opioids are. Marijuana isn’t the gateway drug to heroin; legal opioids like oxycodone and fentanyl are — and they are also responsible for the overwhelming majority of opioid overdoses. There is also evidence that there are lower rates of opioid overdoses in states where marijuana is legal than in states where it isn’t. We also have Sessions saying, “Experts are telling me there’s more violence around marijuana than one would think.” “You can’t sue somebody for a drug debt. The only way to get your money is through strong-arm tactics, and violence tends to follow that,” he adds. Which is a more compelling argument against marijuana prohibition than against legalizing marijuana and regulating it. It’s marijuana prohibition that causes the violence, not the legal marijuana

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HOW TO TELL THAT A PROTEST WAS EFFECTIVE

So here’s a little secret: If you want to know just how impactful a protest has been, just read the criticisms when it ends. Now, we’re not saying that the Dakota Access Pipeline action is over. We suspect several more billions of dollars will be pulled from the banks invested in the pipeline, and who knows what future disruptions may occur. And we also suspect it will be a cold day in hell before another company mindlessly sites Joel Dyer its pipeline across disputed treaty lands. But back to my first point. Google DAPL and all you’ll see today are silly misinformed news stories about the trash the “hypocritical eco-protestors” left behind. Think about it. Thousands of people left their campsites and structures in place with the intent to return to them. Law enforcement threatened huge fines against anyone who dared bring in food and other support to those in the camp. People wanting to return to the camp were blocked and threatened with arrest. Those who stayed at the camp, enduring extreme winter conditions for the cause, were eventually forcefully removed under arrest. And now the minions of the oil industry are acting like these people just walked away and left their trash because they are hypocrites. Well I have an idea: Why doesn’t law enforcement just get the hell out of the way and let all those eco-hypocrites back in to be with their tents and firewood and cars and all that other stuff those writers who have never been anywhere near Standing Rock are referring to as “trash.” Repeating the spin from the racist local sheriff in Morton County, North Dakota, is hardly news reporting? This is the equivalent of pulling over a driver, pulling her out of her car and putting her in jail and then charging her with abandoning her car on the side of the road and then writing stories about how irresponsible women drivers are. It’s a little frightening in what it exposes.

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(IN CASE YOU MISSED IT) An irreverent and not always accurate view of the world

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This exquisite and completely useless specimen comes with a gold-flakeinfused corn tortilla stuffed with Kobe beef, langoustine, caviar and black-truffle brie cheese. The salsa uses chili peppers, ultra-premium tequila and civet coffee, which is basically coffee cherries pooped out by a cat-like creature. Delicious.

But here’s what else you could do with $25,000: • Purchase a two-bedroom home in many neighborhoods across America • Pay off or significantly reduce student loans • Put it in a retirement fund • Feed a 700-person village in Haiti, like a 9-year-old Minnesota girl did last year • Travel the world — and do volunteer work everywhere you go • Remember that possession of that $25,000 alone puts you in the top 10 percent of the world’s income.

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BEST ED

845 walnut st.| 9am-10pm

For registered Colorado medical marijuana patients only. Expires 3/26/17. Select strains only. While supplies last. Limit 2 per person.

YEARS IN

Divine Resonance Massage & Skin Care

720-314-4989 THEMAGICFAIRYCLEANING.COM

303.440.1323

WEEKENDS ONLY Starts March 4th 2017

Please see ad on page 57. Now offering acne treatments. www.divineresonance.com www.bouldermassageandskincare.com 720-432-1108

Met Your Soul Drum Yet? HAND DRUMS, DRUM SETS, AND LESSONS FOR KIDS OF ALL AGES.

The Drum Shop • 3070 28th St., Boulder

303-402-0122

Boulderlamp, Inc. 555 Aspen Ridge Drive, Unit D, Lafayette, CO 80026 303-444-4852 www.boulderlamp.com

Production x 60%

Journey 2 Life - Achieving Balance With Good Medicine Erica Hansen Weich, L. Ac. MSOM | Acupuncturist Daniel McQueen, MA | Life Coach & Trauma Specialist Tracy Shulsinger FNP | Functional Medicine, Women’s Health, Shamanic Healing Sara Kosick, CSCS, MNT | Personal Training & Nutritional Counseling Lisha Barré, MD | Pain Management & Addiction 3000 Center Green Drive, Suite 210, Boulder | By Appointment Only M-F | Online Appointments Available at www.journey2life.org or Call 720-273-3568