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2 Re-charge it! Every year over 15 billion batteries are produced worldwide, and many are alkaline batteries that are thrown out after just one use. Replace your alkaline batteries with rechargeable ones. Newer models can charge in as little as 15 minutes! Save money and help the environment at the same time.

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The holidays can bring catalogs and other mail asking you to buy, buy, buy. But you can stop them! As soon as you receive an unwanted publication, call their 1-800 number and ask to be removed from their list. Learn more tricks, including 6 steps to getting and staying off mailing lists, at ecocycle.org/junkmail.

While we will be accepting wrapping paper for a limited time, its high-clay and low-paper content makes it difficult to recycle. Instead, get creative and choose reused/reusable alternatives like comics, posters, maps, blueprints, or calendars (all recyclable), fabric, reusable paper or cloth gift bags, bandannas, etc. For shipping, replace foam or bubble wrap with balled up newspaper or magazine pages.

3 Make Gatherings Zero Waste Instead of disposable tableware, serve food on real, reusable dishware. Borrow dish sets and utensils from friends, or go thrift store shopping for a special holiday set. Decorate the table with gourds and squash, bowls full of apples, or other seasonal fruits and veggies. Prevent food waste: Ask friends to bring containers for leftovers.

6 Don’t give “stuff.” Instead of buying new products or things for your friends and loved ones, give meaningful gifts that will enhance their lives. Some ideas... ▪ Give experiences in the form of gift cards to museums, parks, or the movies. ▪ Give something edible; make a dessert or a healthy snack packaged in reusable mason jars. ▪ Give products that will help your friends and family go green, such as stainless steel water bottles, mugs, or reusable lunch/to-go containers, like those pictured.

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contents NEWS:

Top 10 Censored Stories of 2015-16: When what you don’t know can kill you by Paul Rosenberg with Terelle Jerricks

....................................................................... NEWS UPDATE:

Broomfield votes to adopt five-month moratorium on oil and gas operations by Angela K. Evans

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Artist Nathan Carter creates a DIY exhibit around the fictional rock ‘n’ roll group The Dramastics by Amanda Moutinho

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ARTS & CULTURE:

Three wise guys away in the theater by Gary Zeidner

....................................................................... NIBBLES:

Your shelf of dusty food applicances tells tales of guilt and unmade pasta by John Lehndorff

....................................................................... 7 THE HIGHROAD: What is the ‘Trump Fix’ 8 DYERTIMES: The war for Earth 8 THE ANDERSON FILES: Castro’s Cuba 10 LETTERS: Signed, sealed, delivered, your views 12 LAST MINUTE GIFT GUIDE 33 OVERTONES: Continuing the Celtic tradition 37 BOULDER COUNTY EVENTS: What to do and where to go

POETRY: by Ron Koertge SCREEN: ‘Office Christmas Party’ can get stocking stuffed FILM: ‘La La Land’ simply soars DEEP DISH: Sforno Trattoria Romana excels at this old Italian classic DRINK: Tour de brew: Big Choice Brewing ASTROLOGY: by Rob Brezsny S AVAGE LOVE: Am I crazy or justified? WEED BETWEEN THE LINES: For safety or profit? CANNABIS CORNER: Marijuana and the thinking teenager IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: An irreverent view of the world

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Publisher, Stewart Sallo Editor, Joel Dyer Associate Publisher, Fran Zankowski Director of Operations/Controller, Benecia Beyer Circulation Manager, Cal Winn EDITORIAL Senior Editor, Angela K. Evans Entertainment Editor, Amanda Moutinho Special Editions Editor, Caitlin Rockett Contributing Writers: Peter Alexander, Dave Anderson, Rob Brezsny, Michael J. Casey, Gavin Dahl, Paul Danish, James Dziezynski, Sarah Haas, Jim Hightower, Dave Kirby, Michael Krumholtz, Brian Palmer, Leland Rucker, Dan Savage, Alan Sculley, Ryan Syrek, Gregory Thorson, Christi Turner, Tom Winter, Gary Zeidner, Mollie Putzig, Mariah Taylor, Betsy Welch, Noël Phillips, Carolyn Oxley, Grant Stringer, Billy Singleton Interns: Claire Woodcock, Zach Evens SALES AND MARKETING Retail Sales Manager, Allen Carmichael Senior Account Executive, David Hasson Account Executive, Julian Bourke Market Development Manager, Kellie Robinson Inside Sales Representative, Jason Myers Marketing Manager, Devin Edgley Mrs. Boulder Weekly, Mari Nevar PRODUCTION Production Manager, Dave Kirby Art Director, Susan France Graphic Designer, Mark Goodman Assistant to the Publisher Julia Sallo CIRCULATION TEAM Dave Hastie, Dan Hill, George LaRoe, Jeffrey Lohrius, Elizabeth Ouslie, Rick Slama 16-Year-Old, Mia Rose Sallo Cover: Courtesy of Project Censored December 15, 2016 Volume XXIV, Number 19 As Boulder County's only independently owned newspaper, Boulder Weekly is dedicated to illuminating truth, advancing justice and protecting the First Amendment through ethical, no-holdsbarred journalism and thought-provoking opinion writing. Free every Thursday since 1993, the Weekly also offers the county's most comprehensive arts and entertainment coverage. Read the print version, or visit www.boulderweekly.com. Boulder Weekly does not accept unsolicited editorial submissions. If you're interested in writing for the paper, please send queries to: editorial@boulderweekly.com. Any materials sent to Boulder Weekly become the property of the newspaper. 690 South Lashley Lane, Boulder, CO, 80305 p 303.494.5511 f 303.494.2585 editorial@boulderweekly.com www.boulderweekly.com

Boulder Weekly welcomes your correspondence via email (letters@ boulderweekly.com) or the comments section of our website at www.boulderweekly.com. Preference will be given to short letters (under 300 words) that deal with recent stories or local issues, and letters may be edited for style, length and libel. Letters should include your name, address and telephone number for verification. We do not publish anonymous letters or those signed with pseudonyms. Letters become the property of Boulder Weekly and will be published on our website.

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Highroad What is the ‘Trump Fix’ by Jim Hightower

ew Americans have ever heard of Tom Barrack, but he’s going to be a big, behind-the-scenes player in Trump’s Washington. Indeed, Tom’s already a big player, literally in charge of parading The Donald into the White House. He chairs the presidential inaugural committee, overseeing everything from numerous balls to the swearing-in. The four-day affair will, of course, be a

Trumpean Spectacular, yet Barrack insists it won’t be outlandishly tacky. “The president-elect,” says Barrack, “wants this to be about the people.” Sure, Tom — people like you. Barrack, a long-time Trump pal, is a billionaire speculator who runs myriad Wall Street funds, real estate ventures, luxury resorts and casinos. Unsurprisingly, his idea of “the people” turns out to be those privileged ones who’ll buy the premium inaugural tickets that include access to His Excellency, Trump himself. Those tickets start at $25,000. But that only gets you into the bleacher seats out in right field. For the platinum seats up in the luxurious owners’ suites, the price is a cool million bucks. What does that buy? “An intimate dinner” with the new vice-president, Mike Pence; four tickets to a “Ladies Luncheon with Ms. Trump and Ms. Pence; an elegant “Candlelight Dinner” with The Donald and his

For more information on Jim Hightower’s work — and to subscribe to his award-winning monthly newsletter, The Hightower Lowdown — visit www.jimhightower.com.

sidekick, Pence; the black-tie Inaugural Ball with Trump, Pence, Cabinet officials and other governmental big shots; four tickets for priority seats at the official swearing-in; and priority booking at select hotels — so you won’t have to mingle with commoners. Barrack expects to raise a record $75 million from corporations and fat cats wanting to endear themselves to the Trumpster. Trump declared in his campaign that “nobody knows the system better than me, which is why I alone can fix it.” Yeah — and now we know the price for being in on “the fix.” This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly. December 15, 2016 7

dyertimes The war for Earth By Joel Dyer

know, the title sounds like something out of a movie or religion starring Tom Cruise. I wish that were the case but, unfortunately, it’s an accurate description of the reality we all woke up to this morning. We are in the middle of a battle for our planet’s survival, whether we know it or not. I know that many, if not most, of you are already actively working to protect the environment and fight climate change. But I’m afraid things are much worse than most of us could have imagined even a few weeks ago. Just to be clear, I’m not exaggerating and this isn’t some spilt-milk whining over election results. I’m simply reporting that if we don’t band together, we will not be able to defeat this new and greatest threat to our planet, namely the complete takeover of the federal government by corporations that intend to profit from fossil fuels until the last of us stops breathing. The only rivals to this new threat’s top spot on the planetary death scale are an impact by a big meteorite and a fullblown nuclear war. Fortunately, Trump only controls two of the ways the Earth could end (No button for a meteorite). A few days ago, the presidentelect’s team put up a new website laying out, among other things, his energy policy. You can find the website at greatagain.gov. I know what follows is a long quote, but I didn’t want to merely summarize what we are in for in the coming years. Every American should read the Trump Administration’s stated energy agenda for themselves. “Rather than continuing the current path to undermine and block America’s fossil fuel producers, the Trump Administration will encourage the production of these resources by opening onshore and offshore leasing on federal lands and waters. We will streamline the permitting process for all energy projects, including the billions of dollars in projects held up by President Obama, and rescind the job-destroying executive actions under his Administration. “We will end the war on coal, and rescind the coal mining lease moratorium, the excessive Interior Department stream rule, and conduct a top-down review of all anti-coal regulations issued by the Obama Administration. “We will eliminate the highly invasive ‘Waters of the US’ rule, and scrap the $5 trillion dollar Obama-Clinton Climate Action Plan and the Clean Power Plan and prevent these unilateral 8 December 15, 2016

plans from increasing monthly electric bills by double-digits without any measurable effect on Earth’s climate. “Energy is the lifeblood of modern society. It is the industry that fuels all other industries. We will lift the restrictions on American energy, and allow this wealth to pour into our communities. It’s all upside: more jobs, more revenues, more wealth, higher wages, and lower energy prices.” As of this writing, Trump’s choice for Secretary of State is ExxonMobile CEO Rex Tillerson. His choice for head of the EPA is Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruit, a climate-change-denying bagman for Trump’s top energy adviser, Harold Hamm, CEO of Oklahoma city-based Continental Resources, a company best known for it’s holdings in North Dakota’s Bakken Shale. Trump’s choice to lead the Interior Department is Montana Republican Rep. Ryan Zinke who has long advocated for more oil and gas extraction and mining on public lands. Zinke has also flip-flopped a number of times on whether such lands should be sold off or turned over to the states. And like everyone on this list, he is skeptical about climate change. And lastly, former Texas Governor Rick Perry — who never met a hydrocarbon he didn’t like — is Trump’s nominee for Energy Secretary. At this point, I’m not sure what to say. I can assure all of you that Boulder Weekly will do its best to cover this environmental travesty not only by being a watchdog over government but also by reporting on the people putting their lives on the line to stop this madness. While I can’t imagine all the trials and tribulations the near-term future holds, I can say honestly I believe that when the history of this time is written, the election of Donald Trump will be viewed as the pivotal event that turned the tide against global warming and saved the planet. You read that right. I am either correct that Trump’s insane assault on the environment will so motivate and unify the world against the continued use of fossil fuels as to hasten their demise as an energy source and thereby save the Earth, or there won’t be a future from which to reflect on our self-inflicted mass extinction. Just remember, we are all in this together. Like Standing Rock, it won’t be easy and the hardest part is yet to come, but in the end... Only you can write what comes next.

the anderson files Castro’s Cuba by Dave Anderson

hen Fidel Castro died, conservatives told us that he was a uniquely horrible dictator. These are the same people who have defended U.S. support for much more repressive right-wing regimes in the global South. They are right that Cuba is a police state. Over the more than five decades of the Castro brothers’ rule, Amnesty International (AI) has documented hundreds of stories of “prisoners of conscience” in Cuba, people detained by the government merely for peacefully exercising their right to freedom of expression, association and assembly. During this time, Human Rights Watch (HRW) reports that there’s been “a pervasive climate of fear” and that “thousands of Cubans were incarcerated in abysmal prisons, thousands more were harassed and intimidated, and entire generations were denied basic political freedoms.” The Cuban government doesn’t recognize the legitimacy of Cuban human rights organizations, alternative political parties, independent labor unions or a free press. It has also denied international monitors such as the International Committee of the Red Cross and international nongovernmental organizations like AI and HRW access to the island to investigate human-rights conditions. Nevertheless, AI says that the situation of human rights in Cuba is “a tale of two worlds.” While the regime criminalizes dissent, Cubans have socio-economic human rights such as the right to education, the right to housing, and a

right to health care. In Cuba, there is free education at all levels, free food allocations, free health care, heavily subsidized utilities and inexpensive housing. Ordinary people have had an austere standard of living that has guaranteed their basic needs. The government was able to do this for decades because the Soviet bloc provided the country with massive aid and subsidized trade. That suddenly ended in the 1990s. Cuba had a severe economic crisis when the Soviet bloc collapsed. The country was unable to obtain fuel, chemical fertilizers, pesticide and motor vehicles. Fidel Castro had a remarkable response. Political scientist Stephen Zunes of the University of San Francisco notes that Castro launched “an ambitious program in organic agriculture, environmental planning, renewable energy and other sustainable development practices.” Peter Rosset of the Institute for Food and Development Policy said this was “the largest conversion from conventional agriculture to organic or semiorganic farming that the world has ever known.” Cuba has the most sustainable model of development in the world, the environmental group the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) said in its biannual Living Planet Report 2016. According to the report, if current levels of consumption continue, by 2050 the world’s population will need to consume the natural resources and energy produced by two planet Earths. “Cuba, however, was found to have see THE ANDERSON FILES Page 10

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So, we’re sitting around talking to friends, and despite the election being over for more than a month, we’re still talking about Trump-related outrages. And this is being repeated numerous times with other friends. We used to talk about books, movies, children/ grandchildren, vacation plans or trips we did, but instead, we’re rehashing or relating to the Trump antics. I suspect that others around the country/world are finding themselves in the same place. We’re having a dinner with three other couples next weekend and I’m proposing a moratorium on political conversation and venting to be limited to 20 minutes and focus on what is going on in our lives with more relaxing and productive conversation. For our blood pressures and mental health, I think others could set some limits and get on with our lives (and promote self-care and contribute to others.) Ken Singer/Lyons

‘Camera’ muni poll outdated instantly

The Daily Camera’s recent poll of Boulder voters about the formation of a municipal electric utility (Camera, December 4) was a good idea, but it became outdated almost immediately. The poll was taken between November 13 and 18. But on November 18, the Colorado Public Utilities Commission (PUC) ruled that Boulder’s application to separate from Xcel was complete. This was a significant milestone. The Camera’s frontpage story on the day following the close of the poll was, “City makes new advance.” Due to the timing of the poll, persons who responded were almost certainly unaware of the City’s major victory. If the poll had been taken the week after the PUC announcement, it is highly likely that the results would have been quite different — more supporters, fewer “undecideds.” Yet even the poll as-conducted see LETTERS Page 11

the anderson files THE ANDERSON FILES from Page 8

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implemented a good — yet not perfect — combination of human development and environmental footprint, with a high level of alphabetization and a high level of life expectancy, while using little energy and natural resources,” said Jonathan Loh, one of the authors of the study during the presentation of the report in Beijing. Raj Patel, the author of Stiffed and Starved: The Hidden Battle for the World Food System is enthusiastic about what is going on in Cuba. “If you want to see what tomorrow’s fossil-fuel-free, climate-change-resilient, high-tech farming looks like, there are few places on earth like the Republic of Cuba,” he said. Stephen Zunes describes the transformations in Cuba: “After several years of food shortages and vitamin deficiencies in the 1990s, Cubans are now healthier because of their increased consumption of organic vegetables and decreased consumption of red meat. “Farmworkers especially report a dramatic improvement in health, due to their reduced exposure to pesticides and herbicides. “The shortage of fuel also led to a switch to renewable energy sources. There are now nearly 10,000 operating

windmills and a growth in solar energy. Biomass generators now supply nearly 15 percent of the country’s electricity. There are hundreds of small hydroelectric facilities, mostly in isolated mountainous regions. Virtually all of the country’s sugar mills are now powered by waste from the cane. Solar ovens and other appropriate technologies are now commonplace in rural areas.” Nevertheless, Cuba has enormous challenges. Political scientist Sam Farber notes that while the economy has recovered from its precipitous fall after the collapse of the Soviet bloc, real wages and pensions are still significantly lower than they were in 1989. Social spending continues to decline and “many of the revolution’s gains that were made in education and health have been lost... Numerous hospital facilities, school buildings, libraries and laboratories are in a serious state of disrepair.” Cuba’s future is uncertain. Raul Castro talks about adopting the SinoVietnamese model which combines a one-party dictatorship with an opening to the capitalist marketplace. President Obama started a process of normalization with Cuba but Donald Trump may reverse that. This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly. Boulder Weekly

letters

LETTERS from Page 10

showed, according to the Camera, that, “on the question of whether the city should act urgently to thwart climate change, which is the primary purpose of the utility bid, there is little debate.” More than four out of five Boulder citizens support the City’s goals to reduce carbon emissions and ameliorate climate change. Xcel’s power mix is still 70 percent from fossil fuels, and Xcel has said it will not close its last coal-fired power plant until 2069. We cannot achieve our climate change goals unless we are able to increase our percentage of renewables, and to do that we need to separate from Xcel. Finally, as the Camera notes: “If the PUC approves Boulder’s application in time for next year’s election, the city could see a boost in support on the heels of what would be by far the most significant win of the entire municipalization bid.” Amber Hess/Boulder

mate deniers like Pruitt in positions of power, Trump is taking America further away from climate solutions and the global clean energy revolution and toward planetary disaster. While Trump may send signals to the media he has an “open mind” about climate change, this appointment and the rest of his proposed cabinet confirm he doesn’t understand the stakes of the game he’s playing. More people care about climate change than voted for Trump. He is on the wrong side of this

issue. If climate change denial is going to the default position of the Trump White House, then relentless resistance will be the default position of the American people. Travis Nichols/Greenpeace

Good stock tip

It is clear to my dim wit that the President-Elect Tweetster is being Billy Bushed into carrying water to the swamp for the Moneyed, the no nonsense Military and the Fanatical Right.

Meanwhile the AP is already getting us accustomed to the idea of losing public housing funding, living with dirtier air/ water and having health, safety and welfare laws rolled back that protect the now stagnant minimum wage chumps. Of course the 1 percent are very happy about this direction. But why would any of the 99 percent be? Maybe we should follow the smart money and use our minimum wage to buy stock in private prisons. John Hoffmann/Carbondale

Go Danish

Thanks so much to Paul Danish for bringing to light the findings of this comparative study of agricultural practices revealing the numerous environmental benefits attributable to the use of these fine GMO products [Re: “Danish Plan,” Dec. 8]. Clearly, it would be in the longterm best interests of nearly all Americans for the federal government to seize and nationalize the Monsanto Corporation in order to make these wonderful products available at a subsidized low cost to all of our nation’s farmers. I’m writing my congressman today. I just hope he hasn’t accepted any substantial campaign contributions from Monsanto that might cloud his thinking. Michael DeLang/Coal Creek Canyon

Eat, Drink & Be Merry

Trump’s appointment of Scott Pruitt to head EPA

By appointing Scott Pruitt as head of the Environmental Protection Agency, Trump is putting America at risk. Pruitt is a pure product of the oil and gas industry, installed in successive government posts to sell out his constituents at every turn. He will push this country far behind the rest of the world in the race for 21st century clean energy. With Scott Pruitt as head of the EPA, the people and the environment will be in the hands of a man who cares about neither. As Oklahoma attorney general, Pruitt was an enthusiastic shill for the fracking industry and a reckless obstruction to the Clean Power Plan. By putting fossil fuel toadies and cliBoulder Weekly

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December 15, 2016 11

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Everyone needs more coffee and everyone needs different ways of making coffee. While there are a variety of brands, contraptions and methods out there, Able Brewing makes sustainable, reusable and approachable (aka easy) coffee brewing equipment. With its signature stainless steal filter, the ceramic Kone Brewing System makes a full-bodied cup of coffee by allowing the full breadth of flavor and oils into the drink. Based off of Japanese and Mid-Century designs, this appliance is multi-functional as a coffee brewer and a sleek coffee server, keeping the coffee warm for multiple servings. Order online or pick up at Yore in Longmont.

Chia Donald Trump ($19.95)

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Although chia seeds are just one of many recent health crazes, most of us can’t forget our first association with the word — Chia Pets. And what better way to close out 2016 and ring in 2017 than with a terracotta bust of Donald Trump growing green hair. Whether you’re buying for someone who voted for the presidentelect or a comedian who wants another way to make fun of him, the Chia Donald Trump is a great gift for everyone. Whether happy or sad contemplating a Trump presidency, instructions are simple — plant the seeds and water each day with your tears.

Local cooking class (Prices and locations vary) As the old adage goes, “Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day; teach a Wikimedia Commons man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.” So instead of giving a fruit basket this year, gift a cooking class. Many places around Boulder County have classes for anything you want to learn. There are many options for classes around Boulder County: Food Lab, Roma’s Catering, Auguste Escoffier School Of Culinary Arts, Simple Spoon, Sur la Table, Stir It Up Cooking School or What’s Cooking, not to mention several restaurants who offer up their services. Pick a food, find a class and your friends and family will thank you — hopefully with a home-cooked meal. Win win.

A round of golf at Broadlands ($39.99 -$159.99) What better gift to give in the middle of the snowy, frigid winter than the promise of a fun time on a beautiful sunny day come spring. Here’s your last minute chance to give just that to the golfer in your life at a great value. From 8 a.m. on Friday, Dec. 16 through Friday Dec. 24, you can purchase three great packages from the Broadlands Golf Course in Broomfield. All three packages can be redeemed anytime through June 30, 2017. Order online at the url provided for each package and you’ll get a printable voucher you can wrap up or stick in a stocking. Choose between these great deals: Courtesy Broadlands Golf Course

Boulder Weekly

Southwest Acupuncture College Special #1 (www.golfrev.com/go/?offer=369) — 18 holes with cart, small bucket of range balls, $10 food and beverage voucher and a sleeve of Bridgestone golf balls. Valid any time during the week and after 11 a.m. on weekends/holidays. $39.99 Special #2 (www.golfrev.com/go/?offer=370) — Twosome — 18 holes with cart, 2 small buckets, $20 food and beverage voucher and Broadlands logo cap. Valid any day during the week and after 11 a.m. on weekends/holidays. $69.99 Special #3 (www.golfrev.com/go/?offer=371) — Foursome Special — Four 18 hole rounds with cart, 4 small buckets, $40 food and beverage voucher, 4 draft beers and sleeve of ProV1’s for each player. Valid anytime. Only $159.99

Drinking Giraffe Bowl ($26.00) Cute and creative doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg. So if you still haven’t found that last minute gift for someone hard to buy for, head on over to Momentum on Pearl Street in Boulder. These cool little bowls — they measure 8 inches long with a bowl diameter of about 4.5 inches — are made from jacaranda wood. They are hand-carved, hand-painted and so finely sanded that no lacquer is required, making each bowl completely food safe. Just make sure it gets washed by hand. If a bowl with a drinking giraffe doesn’t make the recipient smile, they’ve got problems. Just saying.

Adult Coloring Book ($5-30)

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Coloring has been proven to reduce stress and increase focus, and it’s not just for kids anymore! The past couple years have seen a resurgence of coloring books geared toward adults. They make great last-minute presents as most shops carry a variety of options that vary in subject matter — from under the sea to inspirational quotes to tributes to beer or weed. Chances are, you’ll find just the right theme for your best friend, your coworker or your retired mother who loves cats. Pick up a book — and don’t forget the markers — so that special someone can pass the time choosing just the right shade of blue for that rocket ship.

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Have you noticed how windy it is in Boulder? And all that open space... holy crap! You should own a kite or better yet, give one Wikimedia Commons to someone else. You’ll find just what you need at Into The Wind, Boulder’s one-stop-shop for all things kite. They have beginner stunt kites, allaround kites, speed kites, trick kites, power kites, quad-line kites, light wind stunt kites and more. Who knew there were so many kinds of kites? Kites are great gifts for adults or kids. It’s like gifting an excuse to spend a lazy Saturday out on some of Boulder County’s beautiful open space

Solar-Powered Photography Kit ($14.95) Want a gift that can make unique art for your house? Simple enough for a child, but fun for adults too, this solar powered photograph kit (available online) is an introduction to printmaking. Place any object or transparency on one of the pieces of colorful heavyweight cotton paper or fabric, expose to sunlight, and rinse with water to produce your own prints. Use old photo negatives (you still have some of those, right?), x-rays (and your friends thought you were weird for keeping those), bits of lace, leaves, kitchen utensils, heck, even your hand, to compose an endless variety of images. Boulder Weekly

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news TOP 10 CENSORED STORIES OF 2015-16

When what you don’t know can kill you by Paul Rosenberg with Terelle Jerricks

hroughout its 40-year history, Project Censored has covered a lot of ground that the corporate mainstream media has missed. Begun by Carl Jensen, a sociology professor at California’s Sonoma State University shortly after Watergate in 1976, it’s become an institution involving dozens of faculty members and institutions working together to come up with an annual list of the Top 25 Censored Stories of the Year. The Watergate burglary in June 1972 “sparked one of the biggest political cover-ups in modern history,” Jensen later recalled. “And the press was an unwitting, if willing participant in the coverup.” “Watergate taught us two important lessons about the press: First, the news media sometimes do fail to cover some important issues, and second, the news media sometimes indulge in self-censorship,” he said. On the upside, it lead to the creation of Project Censored. As with the Watergate story, these aren’t censored in the overt heavyhanded manner of an authoritarian dictatorship, but in the often more effective manner reflecting our society, an oligarchy with highly centralized economic power pretending to be a “free marketplace of ideas.” It may give people what they think they want in the moment, but it leaves them hungry for more, if not downright malnourished in the long run. The missing stories concern vital subjects central to the healthy functioning of our democracy. The problem is, we may 14 December 15, 2016

not even realize what we’re missing, which is precisely why Project Censored is essential. Another way to think about it is as censorship of what the people as a whole can hear, rather than what any one individual can say. Article 19 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights makes it very clear: Freedom of opinion and expression includes the right “to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.” This year, 221 students and 33 faculty members from 18 college and university campuses across the United States and Canada were involved. A panel of 28 judges comprised of media studies professors, professional journalists, and even a former commissioner of the Federal Communications Commission, also participated. In addition to its central focus on the censored stories, there are plenty of other goodies in the annual report, including a chapter devoted to “Junk Food News” and a chapter on “Media Democracy in Action,” found on ProjectCensored.org. All these reflects the fact that news isn’t just created for individuals to consume, but for citizens to debate, discuss and then take action on. The real Project Censored, in short, includes you, the reader. Project Censored has always dealt with specific stories, but on anniversaries like this one, the larger patterns those stories fit within are impossible to ignore. Economic inequality, global warming, petro-politics, suppression of health science, government spying, corporate influ-

ence of government, these are all familiar themes that appear again on this year’s list. But a bit more ought to be said by way of introduction to this year’s top censored story, before starting the list proper. Jensen began the preface to Project Censored’s 20th anniversary edition with the story of how John F. Kennedy killed a detailed New York Times story blowing the whistle on the planned invasion of Cuba. A shrunken, muted version ran in its place. Afterwards, Kennedy told a Times editor, “If you had printed more about the operation, you could have saved us from a colossal mistake.” This years’ No.1 censored story is a direct descendent of the story JFK wished he hadn’t managed to kill. Wikimedia Commons/United States Army

1. U.S. Military forces deployed in 70 percent of world’s nations

key hub for its secret war ... in Africa and the Middle East.” In The Nation, Turse tackled the question of mission success. Project Censored noted that, “Turse [had] reported skepticism from a number of experts in response to this question, pointing out that “impacts are not the same as successes.” In Vietnam, body counts were mistaken for signs of success. “Today, tallying up the number of countries in which Special Operations Forces are present repeats this error,” Vietnam veteran and author Andrew Bacevich told Turse.

Sources: Turse, Nick, “A Secret War in 135 Countries,” Tomdispatch, 2015. tinyurl. com/h43x95l Turse, Nick, “The Stealth Expansion of a Secret U.S. Drone Base in Africa,” The Intercept, 2015. tinyurl.com/ gpg548h Turse, Nick “American Special Operations Forces Have a Very Funny Definition of Success,” Nation, October 26, 2015. tinyurl.com/gu8hrru Wikimedia Commons

he covert exercise of U.S. military power is a recurrent subject of Project Censored stories. This year’s top censored story joins that long tradition. It deals with the massive expansion in the number of countries where the officially unnamed war on terror is now being waged by U.S. Special Operations Forces — 147 of the world’s 195 recognized nations, an 80 percent increase since 2010. This includes a dramatic expansion in Africa. The majority of the activity is in “training missions,” meaning that this expansion is promoting a coordinated worldwide intensification of conflict, unseen at home, but felt all around the globe. Writing for TomDispatch, The Nation and The Intercept, Nick Turse exposed different aspects of this story and its implications. Turse’s story for The Intercept focused on the development of a single base, Chabelley Airfield, in the East African nation of Djibouti. It’s an “outof-the-way outpost” transformed into “a

2. Crisis in evidence-based medicine

he role of science in improving human health has been one of humanity’s greatest achievements, but the profit-oriented influence of the pharmaceutical industry has created a crisis situation: That research simply cannot be trusted. Burying truth for profit is a recurrent theme for Project Censored. The top 1981 story concerned fraudulent testing from a single lab responsible for one-third of the toxicity and cancer testing of chemicals in America. But this problem is much more profound. “Something has gone fundamentally wrong” said Richard Horton, editor of The Lancet, commenting on a U.K. symposium on the reproducibility and Boulder Weekly

news reliability of biomedical research: “[M]uch of the scientific literature, perhaps half, may simply be untrue. Afflicted by studies with small sample sizes, tiny effects, invalid exploratory analyses and flagrant conflicts of interest, together with an obsession for pursuing fashionable trends of dubious importance, science has taken a turn towards darkness... The apparent endemicity of bad research behavior is alarming.” Horton’s conclusion echoed Marcia Angell, a former editor of the New England Journal of Medicine, who went public in 2009. A classic case was Study 329 in 2001, which reported that paroxetine (Paxil in the United States/Seroxat in the United Kingdom) was safe and effective for treating depressed children and adolescents, leading doctors to prescribe Paxil to more than 2 million U.S. children and adolescents by the end of 2002, before being called into question. The company responsible (now GlaxoSmithKline), agreed to pay $3 billion in 2012, the “largest healthcare fraud settlement in U.S. history,” according to the U.S. Department of Justice. Nonetheless, the study has not been retracted or corrected, and “none of the authors have been disciplined,” Project Censored points out. This, despite a major reanalysis which “‘starkly contradicted the original report’s claims.” The reanalysis was seen as the first major success of a new open data initiative known as Restoring Invisible and Abandoned Trials. While Project Censored noted one Washington Post story on the reanalysis, there was only passing mention of the open data movement. “Otherwise, the corporate press ignored the reassessment of the paroxetine study,” and beyond that, “Richard Horton’s Lancet editorial received no coverage in the U.S. corporate press.” Sources: Lancet 385, no. 9976, 2015. tinyurl. com/z8jwc3v Cooper, Charlie, “Anti-Depressant was Given to Millions of Young People ‘After Trials Showed It was Dangerous,’” The Independent, 2015. tinyurl.com/zouessd Boseley, Sarah, “Seroxat Study Under-Reported Harmful Effects on Young People, Say Scientists,” The Guardian, 2015. tinyurl.com/jrrugr9 Boulder Weekly

Wikimedia Commons

Howard, Emma, “Climate Change Will Alter Ocean Bacteria Crucial to Food Chain—Study,” The Guardian, 2015. tinyurl.com/q4tbb7p Wikimedia Commons

3. Rising carbon dioxide levels threaten to permanently disrupt vital ocean bacteria

lobal warming is a recurrent Project Censored subject. Systemic changes associated with global warming threaten human welfare and all life on Earth through a multitude of different pathways. These remain largely hidden from public view. One potential pathway — directly dependent on carbon, not temperature — is through the catastrophic overproduction of Trichodesmium bacteria, which could devastate the entire marine food chain in some regions. It lives in nutrientpoor parts of the ocean, where it fixes atmospheric nitrogen into ammonium, an essential nutrient for other organisms — from algae to whales. A five-year study by researchers at the University of Southern California and Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution found that subjecting hundreds of generations of the bacteria to predicted CO2 levels in the year 2100 caused them to evolve into “reproductive overdrive,” growing faster and producing 50 percent more nitrogen. As a result, they could consume significant quantities of scarce nutrients, such as iron and phosphorus, depriving the ability of other organisms to survive. Or the Trichodesmium bacteria could drive themselves into extinction, depriving other organisms of the ammonium they need to survive. “Most significantly, the researchers found that even when the bacteria was returned to lower, present-day levels of carbon dioxide. Trichodesmium remained ‘stuck in the fast lane,’” Project Censored noted, a finding that one researcher described as “unprecedented in evolutionary biology.” Sources: Perkins, Robert, “Climate Change Will Irreversibly Force Key Ocean Bacteria into Overdrive,” USC News, 2015 tinyurl. com/gvots8j

4. Search engine algorithms and electronic voting machines could have swung 2016 election

ocial media has played an important role in recent social movements, from the Arab Spring to Black Lives Matter, but technology can potentially undermine democracy as well as empower it. In particular, search engine algorithms and electronic voting machines provide opportunities for manipulation of voters and votes, which could have profoundly affected the 2016 election. Mark Frary, in Index on Censorship, describes the latest research by Robert Epstein and Ronald E. Robertson of the American Institute for Behavioral Research and Technology on what they call the Search Engine Manipulation Effect, or SEME. Their study of more than 4,500 undecided voters in the United States and India showed that biased search rankings “could shift the voting preferences of undecided voters by 20 percent or more” and “could be masked so that people show no awareness of the manipulation.” In an earlier article for Politico, Epstein wrote that the Search Engine Manipulation Effect “turns out to be one of the largest behavioral effects ever discovered ... [W]e believe SEME is a serious threat to the democratic system of government.” Because courts have ruled that their source code is proprietary, private companies that own electronic voting machines are essentially immune to transparent public oversight, as Harvey Wasserman and Bob Fitrakis documented. In 2016, about 80 percent of the U.S. electorate voted using outdated electronic voting machines that rely on

proprietary software from private corporations, according to a September 2015 study by the Brennan Center for Justice at the New York University School of Law. The study identified “increased failures and crashes, which can lead to long lines and lost votes” as the “biggest risk” of outdated voting equipment, while noting that older machines also have “serious security and reliability flaws that are unacceptable today.” “From a security perspective, old software is riskier, because new methods of attack are constantly being developed, and older software is likely to be vulnerable,” Jeremy Epstein of the National Science Foundation noted. On Democracy Now! and elsewhere, Wasserman and Fitrakis have advocated universal, hand-counted paper ballots and automatic voter registration as part of their “Ohio Plan” to restore electoral integrity. While there has been some corporate media coverage of Epstein and Robertson’s research, the transparency and reliability advantages of returning to paper ballots remain virtually unexplored and undiscussed.

Sources: Epstein, Robert, “How Google Could Rig the 2016 Election,” Politico, 2015. tinyurl.com/oxdo839 Frary, Mark, “Whose World are You Watching? The Secret Algorithms Controlling the News We See,” Index on Censorship 44, no. 4 (2015), 69–73. tinyurl.com/j5pjgbs Norden, Lawrence and Famighetti, Christopher, America’s Voting Machines at Risk, Brennan Center for Justice, New York University School of Law, 2015. tinyurl.com/gvsbarx Harvey Wasserman, interview by Goodman, Amy, “Could the 2016 Election be Stolen with Help from Electronic Voting Machines?” Democracy Now! 2016. tinyurl.com/hxjpfds Fitrakis, Bob and Wasserman, Harvey, Is the 2016 Election Already Being Stripped & Flipped? Free Press, 2016. tinyurl.com/hqcrtnl

See PROJECT CENSORSED Page 16

December 15, 2016 15

news

PROJECT CENSORED from Page 15 Wikimedia Commons

5. Corporate exploitation of global refugee crisis masked as humanitarianism

he world is experiencing a global refugee crisis (60 million worldwide according to a June 2015 report, 11.5 million of them Syrian). This has been covered in the corporate media — though not nearly enough to generate an appropriate response. What hasn’t been covered is the increasingly wellorganized exploitation of refugees, particularly those displaced in Syria. An AlterNet article by Sarah Lazare — cited by Project Censored — warned of the World Bank’s private enterprise solution to the Syrian displacement crisis. “Under the guise of humanitarian aid, the World Bank is enticing Western companies to launch ‘new investments’ in Jordan in order to profit from the labor of stranded Syrian refugees, Lazare wrote. In a country where migrant workers have faced forced servitude, torture and wage theft, there is reason to be concerned that this capitalintensive ‘solution’ to the mounting crisis of displacement will establish sweatshops that specifically target war refugees for hyper-exploitation.” A World Bank press release touted “the creation of special economic zones or SEZs,” but Project Censored noted, “Myriam Francois, a journalist and research associate at SOAS, The School of Oriental and African Studies at the University of London, told Lazare that the development of SEZs in Jordan ‘will change refugee camps from emergency and temporary responses to a crisis, to much more permanent settlements.’” The SEZ proposals, Francois said, are “less about Syrian needs and more about keeping Syrian refugees out of Europe by creating (barely) sustainable conditions within the camps, which would then make claims to asylum much harder to recognize.’” Another story, by Glen Ford of Black Agenda Report described a related agreement between Turkey and the European Union to keep millions of refugees from entering Europe as “a 16 December 15, 2016

deal between devils,” adding that Turkey has “cashed in on the people it has helped make homeless.” In addition to the $3.3 billion in EU money, Project Censored noted: Turkey has also sought admission to the European Union, and, with this, the right for 75 million Turks to enter Europe without visa restrictions as a condition for controlling its refugee population. Thus, according to Ford, Turkey has engaged in a “vast protections racket trap,” effectively agreeing to protect Europe from further incursions by “the formerly colonized peoples whose labor and lands have fattened Europe and its white settler states for half a millennium.” “Europeans will never accept Turkey into the fold, because it is Muslim and not-quite-white,” Ford concluded. Sources: Lazare, Sarah, “World Bank Woos Western Corporations to Profit from Labor of Stranded Syrian Refugees,” AlterNet, 2016. tinyurl.com/znyw2kr Ford, Glen, “Turkey and Europe: Human Trafficking on a Scale Not Seen Since the Atlantic Slave Trade,” Black Agenda Radio, Black Agenda Report, 2016. tinyurl.com/hgks2lj WIkimedia Commons

Marcus Harrison Green wrote in YES! Magazine, Project Censored noted, while in The Atlantic, economist Jared Bernstein noted that their research highlights the problematic long-term consequences of President Bill Clinton’s 1996 welfare reform initiative, with its “insistence on work without regard to job availability.” Project Censored notes that Edin and Shaefer proposed three policy changes to address extreme poverty in the United States: First, policy must start by expanding work opportunities for those at the very bottom of society. Second, policy must address housing instability, which Shaefer described as both a cause and a consequence of extreme poverty. “Parents should be able to raise their children in a place of their own.” Third, families must be insured against extreme poverty, even when parents are not able to work. William Julius Wilson, a leading sociologist in the study of poverty, described their book as “an essential call to action,” in a New York Times book review, but this was a rare recognition in the corporate press. Sources: Green, Marcus Harrison, “1.5 Million American Families Live on $2 a Day— These Authors Spent Years Finding Out Why,” YES! Magazine, 2015. tinyurl. com/hklygaz Bernstein, Jared “America’s Poorest are Getting Virtually No Assistance,” The Atlantic, 2015. tinyurl.com/h4e3n37 Wikimedia Commons

6. More than 1.5 million American families live on $2 per person per day

ven the working poor receive scant attention, but those living in deep poverty — less than $2 per day — are almost entirely absent. Kathryn J. Edin and H. Luke Shaefer, sociologists and authors of the book $2.00/a Day: Living on Almost Nothing in America state that in 2011 more than 1.5 million U.S. families — including 3 million children — lived in deep poverty at any given month. Their depiction of what poverty looks like reads “like a Dickens novel,”

7. No end in sight for Fukushima disaster

ive years after the Fukushima nuclear power plant was destroyed by an earthquake and tsunami in March 2011, the nuclear disaster continues to unfold, with the ongoing release of large quantities of radioactive waste water into the Pacific Ocean, in turn

affecting ocean life through “biological magnification.” Meanwhile the Japanese government has relaxed radiation limits in support of its efforts to return the refugee population — a move that younger people, prime working-age taxpayers, are resisting. Project Censored cites a media analysis by sociologist Celine-Marie Pascale of American University. Pascale covering more than 2,100 articles, editorials and letters to the editor on Fukushima in the Washington Post, the New York Times, Politico, and the Huffington Post between March 11, 2011 and March 11, 2013, focused on two basic questions: “Risk for whom?” and “from what?” She found that just 6 percent of articles reported on risk to the general public, and most of those “significantly discounted those risks.” She concluded: “The largest and longest lasting nuclear disaster of our time was routinely and consistently reported as being of little consequence to people, food supplies, or environments. ... In short, the media coverage was premised on misinformation, the minimization of public health risks, and the exacerbation of uncertainties.” In contrast, Dahr Jamail’s reporting for Truthout pointed out that the cooling process — still ongoing after five years — has produced “hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of tons” of highly radioactive water, much of which has been released into the Pacific Ocean. Such nuclear disasters “never end,” Arnold Gundersen, a former nuclear industry senior vice president told Jamail. Project Censored also cited Linda Pentz Gunter, writing for the Ecologist about the Japanese government’s ongoing coverup. “In order to proclaim the Fukushima area ‘safe,’ the government increased exposure limits to 20 times the international norm,” Gunter wrote, in order to force refugees to return home, despite medical or scientific evidence to the contrary. Sources: Jamail, Dahr,“Radioactive Water from Fukushima is Leaking into the Pacific,” Truthout, 2016. tinyurl.com/jcfvbey Pentz Gunter, Linda, “No Bliss in This Ignorance: The Great Fukushima See PROJECT CENSORED Page 18

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PROJECT CENSORED from Page 16

Nuclear Cover-Up,” Ecologist, 2016 tinyurl.com/zp8nudw Pascale, Celine-Marie, “Vernacular Epistemologies of Risk: The Crisis in Fukushima,” Current Sociology, 2016. tinyurl.com/zhhvqk6 Wikimedia Commons

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8. Syria’s War spurred by contest for gas delivery to Europe, not Muslim sectarianism

he Syrian war and its resulting refugee crisis have repeatedly gained headlines over the past five years, but the origins of the conflict, control of oil and gas, are rarely considered — the politics of which have dominated the region since before World War II. The hidden influence of oil — from climate change to campaign finance and corporate lobbying to foreign policy — has been a recurrent subject of Project Censored stories. Project Censored cites a single September 2015 story by Mnar Muhawesh for MintPress News, but that story cites others as well, notably an August 2013 story in The Guardian by Nafeez Ahmed. “The 2011 uprisings, it would seem — triggered by a confluence of domestic energy shortages and climateinduced droughts which led to massive food price hikes — came at an opportune moment that was quickly exploited,” Ahmed wrote, as part of a broader strategy to undermine governments in the region, as well as manipulating social movements and armed factions for the purpose of maintaining control of oil and gas. Muhawesh and Ahmed both point, in particular, to Assad’s choice between competing pipeline proposals. He refused to sign a proposed agreement for a pipeline from Qatar’s North field through Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria and on to Turkey in 2009, because it would have hurt his ally, Russia. “The proposed pipeline would have bypassed Russia to reach European

markets currently dominated by Russian gas giant Gazprom,” Project Censored notes. Instead, Assad pursued negotiations — finalized in 2012 — for a pipeline through Iraq from Iran’s South Pars field, which is contiguous with Qatar’s North field. Muhawesh cites U.S. cables revealed by WikiLeaks as evidence that “foreign meddling in Syria began several years before the Syrian revolt erupted.” Ahmed came to the same conclusions by drawing on multiple sources, including a RAND corporation document, “Unfolding the Future of the Long War,” which discussed long-term policy options (trajectories) dealing with the complex interplay of energy interests and ethno-religious-political manipulations. There’s a whole deeper level of driving forces not being reported on behind the Syrian war and refugee crisis. Source: Muhawesh, Mnar, “Refugee Crisis & Syria War Fueled by Competing Gas Pipelines,” MintPress News, 2015. tinyurl.com/hdkz9ce Wikimedia Commons

9. Big Pharma political lobbying not limited to presidential campaigns

he pharmaceutical industry (aka Big Pharma) already appeared in story No. 2, “Crisis in evidence-based medicine,” due to the destructive influence of its financing on the practice of basic science in testing and developing new drugs. But that’s not the only destructive impact of their spending. Although they spent $51 million in campaign donations in the 2012 presidential election, and nearly $32 million in the 2014 midterms, Mike Ludwig of Truthout reported they spent $7 lobbying for every dollar spent on the midterms. Boulder Weekly

news “The $229 million spent by drug companies and their lobbying groups that year was down from a peak of $273 million in 2009, the year that Congress debated the Affordable Care Act,” Project Censored noted. Legislation influenced involved all the industry’s top concerns, “including policy on patents and trademarks, management of Medicare and Medicaid, and international trade.” The last item includes pressuring other countries to suppress the manufacture of life-saving generic AIDs drugs in India, to cite just one example. “Pharmaceutical lobbyists also consistently lobby to prevent Medicare from negotiating drug prices,” Project Censored also noted. Coverage of their spending is scant, and virtually never tied directly to the issues that Big Pharma itself is lobbying on. Source: Ludwig, Mike, “How Much of Big Pharma’s Massive Profits are Used to Influence Politicians?” Truthout, 2015. tinyurl.com/jrcpn8l Courtesy of USS@edu

10. CISA: The internet surveillance act no one is discussing

n July 2015, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell attempted to attach the Cybersecurity Information Sharing Act (CISA) as an amendment to the annual National Defense Authorization Act. However, the Senate blocked this by a vote of 56-40, in part because, unlike an earlier version, it essentially enabled intelligence and law enforcement officials to engage in surveillance without warrants. Yet, on Dec. 18, 2015, President Barack Obama signed CISA into law as part of a 2,000-page omnibus spending bill, amid media silence — with notable exceptions at Wired and The Guardian. The act authorized the creation of a system for corporate informants to provide customers’ data to the Department of Homeland Boulder Weekly

Security (DHS), which, in turn, would share this information with other federal agencies — the National Security Agency, FBI, Internal Revenue Service and others — without privacy-protecting safeguards. In one sense it followed a familiar — if distressing — pattern, as The Guardian reported, civil liberties experts had been “dismayed” when Congress used the omnibus spending bill to advance some of the legislation’s “most invasive” components, making a mockery of the democratic process. But this one was different, since censored stories usually do not stifle powerful voices, as Project Censored observed: “[Andy] Greenberg’s Wired article noted that tech firms — including Apple, Twitter, and Reddit — as well as 55 civil liberties groups had opposed the bill, and that, in July 2015, DHS itself warned that the bill would ‘sweep away privacy protections’ while inundating the agency with data of ‘dubious’ value.” In April 2016, Jason R. Edgecombe reported for TechCrunch on the glaring inadequacies of interim guidelines to deal with privacy and civil liberties concerns, while the corporate media silence continued. And in May, Violet Blue wrote for Engadget about candidates’ positions on cyber issues. Only Bernie Sanders and Rand Paul opposed CISA, but it never became the subject of any broader media discussion. Sources: Greenberg, Andy, “Congress Slips CISA into a Budget Bill That’s Sure to Pass,” Wired, 2015. tinyurl.com/j446daf Thielman, Sam, “Congress Adds Contested Cybersecurity Measures to ‘Must-Pass’ Spending Bill,” The Guardian, 2015. tinyurl.com/hw9nr5m Edgecombe, Jason R. “Interim Guidelines to the Cybersecurity Information Sharing Act,” TechCrunch, 2016, tinyurl.com/zslbgtc Blue, Violet, “Where the Candidates Stand on Cyber Issues,” Engadget, 2016. tinyurl.com/jp5gzkx Paul Rosenberg is the senior editor for Random Lengths News at the Port of Los Angeles, California and is a contributing columnist for Salon.com. Terelle Jerricks is the managing editor who contributed to this article. © 2016 Random Lengths News, California

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news update Broomfield votes to adopt five-month moratorium on oil and gas operations

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n Tuesday Dec. 6, between 350 and 400 citizens attended the Broomfield City Council meeting. Most of those in attendance came to comment on a proposed ordinance that would implement a five-month moratorium on new oil and gas extraction, fracking and drilling applications. The moratorium would give Council members time to consider possible changes to the City’s regulations for oil and gas land use applications and operations which haven’t been updated since 2013. Although Broomfield residents voted for a five-year fracking moratorium in Nov. 2013, the Colorado Supreme Court’s May 2016 ruling against Longmont’s ban on fracking and Fort Collins’ five-year moratorium had negative repercussions for similar ordinances in the City of Boulder, Lafayette, Boulder County and Broomfield. The controversy over drilling and fracking near and under neighborhoods has been heating up again in Broomfield as reported in detail in the Dec. 1 issue of Boulder Weekly (see “Forced pooling is not mandatory swim practice,” by Dan Glick/The Story Group). As reported, Extraction Oil and Gas, LLC purchased four surface locations to use as future drill sites along the Northwest Parkway corridor, less than a half-mile from homes in the Wildgrass and Anthem housing developments. The company’s original plans called for the drilling of 40 to 50 wells. The company now says it intends to drill up to 149 wells from the four locations using horizontal drilling to extract oil and gas from beneath the homes. Adding to the controversy, many Wildgrass residents own the mineral rights beneath their land and don’t wish to lease those rights for oil and gas development. They were shocked to learn Extraction could still move forward with its plans by simply seekBoulder Weekly

ing a forced pooling order from the Colorado Oil and Gas Conservation Commission (COGCC). According to Colorado law, energy companies that own at least one lease in a proposed well’s spacing unit can force all the other mineral owners to lease their rights against their will so long as the company has made a reasonable effort to secure the other leases. The original idea behind forced pooling was to prevent one stubborn mineral owner from stopping all the other mineral owners from developing their minerals. But often these days, the COGCC reverses that intent allowing the one to force their will on the many who oppose development. In the case of the Broomfield development, the next COGCC hearing is scheduled for Jan. 30 2017. At the Dec. 6 Broomfield City Council meeting, residents voiced their concerns over large oil and gas developments near their homes, schools and water sources, asking the Council to consider additional regulations. Such measures could include impact fees, sufficient bonding and enough insurance to cover damages in the likelihood of spills, leaks or explosions, among other things. At the same time several council members encouraged the impassioned Broomfield residents to use the time provided by the moratorium to appeal to their state representatives Senator Vicki Marble (R) and newly elected Representative Matt Gray (D), as the state-level legislators could have more sway given the Supreme Court’s May ruling, which supported leaving the regulation of oil and gas development at the state level. After the lively discussion, the Broomfield City Council adopted the moratorium ordinance unanimously on first reading, which evoked loud cheers from the gallery. If the City Council officially approves the ordinance after a public hearing and second reading on Jan. 10, 2017, the moratorium will go into effect until June 13, 2017.

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epending on which analysis you read, we’ve just experienced the second or third hottest October ever recorded in the U.S., preceded by the the hottest or second hottest September on record. According to NASA, August 2016 was the hottest August measured since contemporary records began, and tied July 2016 as the hottest month on record. According to National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), whose number-crunching algorithms are slightly different than NASA’s, every month from June 2016 back to May 2015 had been the hottest version of that month ever recorded. And 2016 is looking very likely to take its rightful place as the hottest year ever recorded, surpassing 2015, which had itself just eclipsed 2014 as the hottest year on record. Month by month and year by year, the heat extremes just keep getting out-extremed. Those are global numbers, but the Front Range has been part of the trend as well. And in just a few short years, Boulder could be hotter than ever before. That’s what a recent report from the Rocky Mountain Climate Organization (RMCO), a Louisville-based organization that works to reduce climate disruption in the U.S. West, is predicting. In this latest report, RMCO analyzed the latest available data from global climate models, which was then downscaled to a local level and triangulated with local weather data from long-standing weather stations in Boulder. The RMCO team then crunched that data to predict the total number of days that could reach 95 degrees or higher across 20-year time periods from now through 2099. The predictions are based on four different possible scenarios of greenhouse gas concentrations, from very low to high, and they vary accordingly; in other words, the study shows how many 95-degree-plus days we’ll

Until the end of the century, the Front Range is going to see an increasing number of 95-degree-plus days. The only question is, how many?

How hot could it get? by Christi Turner

have if we do a poor job of curbing greenhouse gas emissions, versus if we do a really good job of it. “This is the most detailed local projected analysis that has been done anywhere, at least in the United States,” says Stephen Saunders, RMCO president. “We took projections from all available models for all these different emission scenarios, and when you add them all together we had 44 million individual projections of weather.” Already, the report says, the average number of days with temperatures of 95 degrees and higher in Boulder County so far this century (11 days) is more than twice the average number of the previous century (five days). Looking ahead to the period of 2020 to 2039, it predicts Boulder could experience as few as 16 and as many as 21 days — three whole weeks — of 95 degrees or hotter days. By 2040 to 2059, the region could see between 20 and 38 days of this heat, and by the 2060 to 2079 period, between 17 and 58 days. Finally, by 2080 to 2099, the report predicts, Boulder could see as few as 18 but as many as 75 days

per year — the equivalent of two-and-a-half months — with temperatures of 95 degrees or hotter. Viewed another way, between now and 2099, if the world does a very good job curbing greenhouse gas emissions, Boulder could see 95-degree-plus days increase from the 2000 to 2016 average of 11 days to just 18. If it does a poor job, the increase could be from 11 days to 75 — nearly seven times as many extremely hot days. Nolan Doesken, State Climatologist for Colorado, says the RMCO’s temperature projections for Boulder are consistent with other current climate forecasts. Doesken is more cautious about precipitation projections included in the RMCO report, which he says are far more difficult to predict, even if there is confidence about temperature. “But the warming temperature we can kind of hang our hats on,” he says. “There’s a very solid basis for that.” Despite the predictions, Doesken is hopeful that technological advances will transform the global economy into a less carbon-intensive one. But there’s no certainty. “We can predict human economic activities much less than we can weather-related stuff,” he says. For Saunders, the value of looking at the four distinct emissions scenarios in the RMCO report is that it highlights just how great a difference each scenario can make to future temperature predictions. “If we bring down emissions sharply, we’ll continue to have extreme heat in the next 20 year period, but it won’t get much worse after that,” Saunders says. “We’d get more, a bit more, but it doesn’t keep getting worse. It’s tolerable. It could still be a good place for us to live and work and play.”

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Boulder Weekly

ADVENTURE Courtesy of Special Olympics Colorado

Nothing will slow her down Boulder’s Amanda Brammann named Special Olympics Colorado’s Female Athlete of the Year

by Angela K. Evans

very morning, Amanda Brammann wakes up in South Boulder, cleans her place, works on the computer for a little bit and then starts training. She’ll run, bike, hike on the trails around NCAR and powerlift at the East Boulder Rec Center. Three afternoons a week she works at the Arapahoe YWCA with the after-school program, the other days she attends nutrition classes at the community college in Westminster. “And I take a nap,” the 34-year-old athlete says with a laugh. And all of this training has paid off. In October, Amanda was inducted into the

Boulder Weekly

Special Olympics Colorado Hall of Fame as the Female Athlete of the Year. Diagnosed with Significant Learning Intellectual Capacity (SLIC) at a young age,

Amanda is limited in her intellectual functioning and conceptual, social and practical skills. But she’s always excelled at athletics. “I’ve been running since I was born,” Amanda says. She got her start with the Y riders, a progressive cycling program offered by the YMCA of Boulder County. Then as a teenager she started participating in different sporting events with Special Olympics Colorado, beginning with gymnastics and then progressing to a variety of other sports, including track and field, powerlifting and snowboarding. Special Olympics not only gave Amanda a physical outlet, but it increased her confidence, social skills and gave her a group of friends. “It’s a good community. It keeps me out see BRAMMANN Page 26

December 15 , 2016 25

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BRAMMANN from Page 25

of the house for a couple hours and it’s fun,” Amanda says. “I meet people.” Amanda Brammann run, bikes, swims, hikes and “Special Olympics gave her the basis, the, ‘It’s powerlifts, as well as OK, I can try this in a safe environment,’” says her competing in the floor exercise with Special mom Colleen. “And then once she started doing Olympics Colorado. that, she developed more of her own skills and really got going.” In the last decade, Amanda has run two marathons, 14 half-marathons and dozens of other race distances and events, including both the Boulder and Longmont Triathlons. She first ran the BolderBOULDER at age 17, and has competed pretty much every year since, competing in the C class last year. And she’s currently training for her first half-IRONMAN in Boulder in June. Although Amanda competed in at least one sport almost every weekend for a couple of years, she says that lifestyle was unhealthy, and she now plans on participating in events only every other month or so. And after a bout with pneumonia and an extended hospital stay a few years ago, she now needs an inhaler during her long distance runs. But nothing has slowed her down. “That’s all you have to do, is just keep thinking positive,” she says. “Even if it’s a struggle, you just keep thinking positive.” “She’s determined,” Colleen says. “She doesn’t want to be last in running, she doesn’t want to be last in swimming. She wants to be in front, and it’s starting to carry over into everything, relationships, taking more time, learning more about people, her homework.” “Her work ethic is unbelievable,” adds Jan Padnoti with Special Olympics Colorado. “That says something. The determination, my gosh, she runs circles around me. She kinda makes us all feel like couch potatoes.” Part of the largest sporting organization in the world, Special Olympics Colorado is a year-round, free of charge sports program for people with intellectual disabilities. The nonprofit serves up to 21,650 athletes through the 20 sports programs they offer each year. “Sportsmanship is paramount,” Radnoti says. “It’s more about competing in a healthy environment rather than a cutthroat college or professional [one].” Boulder Weekly

ADVENTURE Courtesy of Special Olympics Colorado

And that’s why the organization honored Amanda as the 2016 Female Athlete of the Amanda Brammann is headed to Austria Year. as one of the selected “She exemplifies all the qualities of an athlete, athletes to carry the torch before the opening as far as team spirit, sportsmanship is a big piece of the Special Olympics of it, being a role model for other athletes saying, World Winter Games. Above, she runs the ‘If I can do it, you can do it,’” Padnoti says. “[She torch in Denver for has a] can-do attitude, and never gives up. It the Colorado Summer Games in May 2016. doesn’t mean she always wins, but she’s never given up. She exemplifies that spirit of sport.” This also led Amanda to be chosen as a torch bearer both for the annual Colorado Law Courtesy of Colleen Brammann Enforcement Torch Run (LETR) last May and for the LETR Flame of Hope Torch Run to kick off the Special Olympics World Winter Games in Austria in March 2017. She was selected as one of 10 athletes worldwide to carry the Olympic Torch on a tour through the country, while sharing her story through public speaking engagements. Although the public speaking makes Amanda nervous, her mom sees how much she’s grown through these opportunities. “Through Special Olympics Amanda has really learned to make eye contact and make people feel welcome and accepted,” Colleen says. “It doesn’t matter what disability or ethnicity, through Special Olympics she’s learned that all people want to be accepted. They want to be acknowledged. Amanda has learned to make other people feel good. She always makes people feel part of what’s going on.” In addition to her commitments with Special Olympics, Amanda is planning on competing in several races and non-competitive events this spring while preparing for the IRONMAN competition. She also plans to continue Special Olympics gymnastics competitions and snowboard with her sister in Breckenridge. Nothing seems to stop Amanda. “After I [exercise], I feel better. I’m not as stressed. But I think about sleep,” she jokes. Boulder Weekly

December 15 , 2016 27

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alking down the steps to the basement of the Museum of Contemporary Art (MCA) there’s a graffiti sign that reads: The Dramastics are Loud. A few steps later and it feels as if you’ve taken a wrong turn and ended up in the bedroom of a teenage girl. Each wall, beam and surface is covered with pops of colors and mash-up craft projects with traces of the usual suspects: pipe cleaners, hot glue, stamps, hole punches, googly eyes on rocks, magazine clippings and strings of Christmas lights, with more than a few bulbs not shining. A picture of Taylor Swift hangs near another of ballerinas; among those are pictures drawn on graph paper and crude mockups of fashion designs. see THE DRAMASTICS Page 30

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THE DRAMASTICS from Page 29

Upon closer inspection, a narrative emerges — the story of the rise and fall of a punk rock band — in an exhibit called Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet The Dramastics. The show, created by artist Nathan Carter, is on display at the MCA Denver through Jan. 29. Spoiler alert: The Dramastics are not technically a real band. They’re a creation of Carter’s imagination, represented by paper dolls and dioramas and brought to life in Carter’s film The Dramastics are Loud AF, which screens daily at MCA. The film and the exhibit follow four girls who decide to start a band, and it illustrates milestones in their explosive, if short-lived, career, from their first rehearsal all the way to their break-up concert. The movie also features performances by the band, with music and lyrics written by Carter, counted down by their signature, “One, two, fuck you.” The girls drip with a rowdy attitude — as the drummer says in the film, “Play rock music now. Play it right fucking now. Make it hard right now.” Ladies and Gentlemen transcends the typical art gallery show. The exhibit features various mediums and multiple artistic genres, including minimalism, abstract expressionism and the do-it-yourself (DIY ) aesthetic of the punk music scene. “The show is a little crazypants, I get that,” Carter says with a laugh. Carter set out to create an all-encompassing fictional world — a process he’s worked on since childhood. “When I was a kid, I made these things called set ups. It was like world-building,” he says. “It wasn’t just one kind of toy. It was everything mixed together with a lot of found elements like sticks and pieces of fabric and small pieces of metals. Anything I thought was an interesting looking thing, mixed with Legos, and I loved things like masking tape, matches or even fireworks.” With two artists for parents, Carter was exposed to Museum guests art early on, and he eventually went to art school. He are welcome to became interested in sculpture, continuing to utilize jump on stage and grab a faux found objects. His work grew to include large-scale instrument in the drawings and various other media. Four years ago, he interactive exhibit. started to notice a trend in his work: While his pieces The Dramstics: Melancholly on bass, Calamity on drums, Molly Blowout on vocals and Crimson Ivy on guitar.

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www.colorado.edu/fiske 303-492-5002 30 December 15, 2016

Boulder Weekly

buzz were filled with elements and figures, they lacked an overall narrative. “I just really wanted to tell stories, and I wanted the work to reflect the stories,” he says. “I had never in my life made a story before making a piece.” Soon after this revelation, Carter visited another exhibit, where he ran into a friend who told Carter, “You have to make a film. Look at all this sculpture. It’s shit. Nobody has any room for sculpture. You have to make a piece of art that can be on a thumb drive.” As Carter edged away from his rambling, disgruntled friend, he paused. “I got about 10 feet away when I turned around, and I said, ‘I’m going to make a film about these four women who get out of high school and start a punk band and go on tour,’” he says. The thought wasn’t completely random to Carter. It was a world he knew well since the early ’80s. A lover of punk and hardcore music, Carter picked up the bass guitar in junior high. He was a fan of bands like The Slits and Blondie and then later Riot Grrrl groups like Bikini Kill, which boasted a male bass player, who Carter was admittedly jealous of. “I wanted to be around sweaty, angry punk rock women,” he says. “It’s as simple as that. It was an attraction, a fantasy.” So from a friend’s not-so-gentle nudge and this past longing, The Dramastics were born. Carter had never made a film, but he embarked on the process by writing vignettes of anything that could happen to a band on tour. And later his four leading ladies appeared: the electric Molly Blowout on lead vocals, the smart and studious Crimson Ivy on guitar, the Breakfast Club basketcase-esque Melancholly on bass, and the hot-messexpress Calamity on drums. “What happens is the guitarist and the singer do this classic thing of, ‘Let’s start a band!’ And then I feel like a lot of times bands come together because there’s only one person who plays the bass ... then there’s some other person who’s a drummer,” he says. “They wouldn’t necessarily hang out with each other. But when they’re a group they’re suddenly like a street gang. “They’ve got each other’s back, and nothing can come in between them,” he continues. “And then inevitable stuff happens. In a way it’s the classic story you’ve seen on VH1 a million times. Like, band has nothing, band tries hard, they make a song, they play a show, they play a bigger show, boyfriends, girlfriends, drugs, things go to their heads, they break up.” Throughout the three-year process, Carter created everything in Ladies and Boulder Weekly

Gentlemen. Some of the pieces were made directly for the film, while others served as developmental material for the show as a whole. Carter calls the entire process organic, never feeling pressured to cross off certain items on a checklist. In all, the exhibit can feel like a hodge podge of different ideas and inspirations, but that is its strength in capturing the subject matter. Creativity is a hard concept to illustrate, and Ladies and Gentleman

puts its methodology on display. It’s the chaotic yet focused energy of youth, and that excitement of embarking on a journey bigger than yourself, where everything feels important and sacred. Overwhelmingly, the exhibit has a homemade feel to it, free from the reigns of perfection. It captures and explores the importance of the DIY movement — a creative cycle with a mission that screams, “If I can do it, you can do it.”

Carter had no experience with making a film, but he felt the calling to do so, and he hopes others take his leap of faith as fuel for their own creative work. “There’s this thing about wanting to make something in a way that inspires somebody else to make something,” he says. “I didn’t set out to do that, but it just happened I think. If I don’t know what an F-stop or ISO is, then anyone can make a film.”

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Boulder Weekly

overtones

eing a singer in Celtic Woman had been a long-held dream for Éabha McMahon. Now, after more than a year in the group, she feels the reality of being a Celtic Woman has exceeded how she envisioned life in the group. One reason has been the camaraderie she has shared with fellow singers Susan McFadden and Mairéad Carlin and the recently departed violinist, Mairéad Nesbitt. “It’s so rewarding being on stage as a team with the girls, and we’re all equals and we all get on so well,” McMahon says during a mid-November phone

like a year and a half... You’re just constantly on your toes, and I love that. I don’t like getting too comfortable. I like challenge, and I like when things are switched up a little bit.” McMahon figures to continue to give her toes a workout as Celtic Woman concludes 2016 and heads into a busy 2017. The group is now on its 2016 Christmas tour, which finds them performing with local symphonies in each city on the itinerary. So not only is the show itself different from the 2015 edition, there’s the variable of performing with a different symphony from night to night.

a smooth transition into Celtic Woman. “The girls have been, you wouldn’t believe how welcoming and comfortable they’ve made me feel,” McNeill says. Perhaps one reason McNeill has quickly settled into Celtic Woman is the group is accustomed to this sort of change. McMahon became the 11th singer to join the ranks of Celtic Woman when she replaced Lisa Lambe in 2015. By that point, she was joining a group that had gained worldwide popularity for its blend or Irish music and adult contemporary pop, having sold more than 9 million copies of its CDs and DVDs during its first decade. The Destiny project put McMahon in a comfort zone immediately with Celtic Woman. Created to celebrate this year’s 100th anniversary of the Irish Easter Rising of 1916, Destiny leaned toward Kip Carroll traditional Irish material. This was perfect for McMahon, a native of Dublin who grew up focusing on traditional Irish singing and ON THE BILL: Celtic won a number of Woman. Tuesday, Dec. 20, Boettcher Concert Hall, notable singing 1000 14th St., Denver, 303competitions in 623-7876. Ireland. Voices of Angels, though, is notably different than Destiny. For one thing, it features a fuller sound, thanks to the liberal use of orchestration in the arrangements. It also features a unique mix of material, Then early next year, Celtic with five new songs, new recordings of Woman will begin a lengthy tour in several fan favorites from the Celtic support of Voices of Angels. Woman catalog and a trio of For now, McMahon finds herself in Christmas songs. the Christmas spirit and happy to help For McNeill, the musical direction bring this year’s Celtic Woman holiday of Voices of Angels complemented her performance to cities across America. background in classical violin and tra“The show this year, I think, is ditional Irish music, particularly on a going to be absolutely fantastic pair of instrumental pieces that are on because it’s such a mix of Christmas the album. music and [other] music from the “I don’t think there could have been Voices of Angels, and maybe Christmas a better time for me to join because of music that’s been done for years in the this album,” McNeill says. “It made me show, but now has been arranged difslotting into the group that much easiferently by [musical director] Gavin er and more comfortable because on Murphy,” she says. the album we have ‘Across The World,’ One aspect of the show that is also which is very traditional. Then also I different is the presence of violinist have another solo [piece] called ‘For Tara McNeil, who recently replaced The Love of a Princess.’ That’s the love Nesbitt and makes her American debut theme from the Braveheart movie. So it on the Christmas tour. In a separate has a folk song, a Celtic element to it, phone interview, the violinist (who also but I can really be a classical player plays harp and sings) says she has made with it as well.”

Continuing the Celtic tradition by Alan Sculley

interview. “If there’s ever a night where you’re feeling unwell or have a cold or something, they’re always there to lean on. They always lift you up. I can’t explain it. It’s like a force... I mean, I’ve definitely made friends for life.” The music she has recorded for the popular Irish-rooted group — which includes the 2015 studio album, Destiny (just nominated for a 2017 Grammy for best world music album) and the newly released Voices of Angels — and the different shows she has performed on tour also gave McMahon more than she anticipated. “The show, when I joined, was the 10th anniversary (greatest hits) show, and that went into the Destiny show and then into the symphony (Christmas themed) show and now into the Voices of Angels,” she says. “So I’ve been fortunate to be part of all of those different shows in such a small space of time, Boulder Weekly

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arts & culture

he Boulder Ensemble Theatre Company (BETC) is on a roll. In addition to continuing a remarkable run of top notch productions that cement BETC’s reputation as one of the best theatre companies in not just Boulder but all of Colorado, over the past year BETC has collected some serious national accolades. BETC won the National Theatre Company Award from the American Theatre Wing, founder of the Tony Awards. The National New Play Network selected Stephanie Alison Walker’s The Madres, which sprang from BETC’s new play development project, for presentation at its national conference. Most recently, BETC’s Managing Director and Artistic Ensemble member, Rebecca Remaly, received the National Theatre Conference’s Emerging Professional Award.

of 11th-hour redemption, A ON THE BILL: Every Christmas Carol. Justin is Christmas Story Ever Told — over the moon to be playing presented by BETC. The Scrooge in this Christmas Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, betc. classic. Daniel and Jon, org. Through Dec. 24. however, do not share his enthusiasm. They feel like A Christmas Carol is played out, and they want to scrap it in favor of something more modern. The three ultimately compromise on performing a Frankincense’s monster of holiday fare, a mistletoe mashup, if you will. And with a Bruce Buffer style, “Let’s get ready to jingle!” they’re off and running. Although Hanukkah and Kwanzaa are namechecked early on and other holiday traditions from Europe to Easter Island are mentioned throughout the play, make no mistake that Every Christmas Story Ever Told is a decidedly Christian-centric affair. Using quick costume changes and a breakneck pace, Fortmiller, Langhoff and Walvoord bring dozens of characters to life as they tell Xmas tale after Xmas tale, often embellishing them with modern pop culture references. The list of BHC’s (beloved holiday classics) the boys tick off starts with The Grinch. Thankfully, their mini-Grinch is informed by the Boris Karloff narrated 1966 television version rather than the 2000 film starring Jim Carrey. The Grinch gives way to a retelling of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer who, due to copyright infringement concerns, becomes Gustav the Green-Nosed Raingoat. There’s a frisson of Frosty, a very literal interpretation of The Nutcracker featuring more groin shots than a whole season of America’s Funniest Home Videos and even a laugh-out-loud bit about Dylan Thomas’ A Child’s Christmas in Wales that, due to one cast member mis-hearing another, becomes Bob Dylan reciting A Child’s Christmas with Whales. While the first act of Every Christmas Story Ever Told feels a bit scattershot, the second act gels nicely. Instead of a new story or sketch every few minutes, the post-intermission part of the play finds Walvoord finally getting to put on A Christmas Carol. Fortmiller and Langhoff still aren’t sold on Dickens, so they keep interjecting characters and scenes from It’s a Wonderful Life until they’ve unwittingly created a new Christmas story, It’s a Wonderful Christmas Carol Life. In light of how seamless and well-integrated the second act is when compared to the rather herky-jerky first act, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that playwrights Michael Carleton, James FitzGerald and John K. Alvarez began with the notion of A Christmas Carol meets It’s a Wonderful Life, realized they couldn’t squeeze 90-plus minutes out of it and ended up with the Every Christmas Story Ever Told conceit to fill time. Whatever its genesis, Every Christmas Story Ever Told is an enjoyably entertaining holiday romp with room to grow, and BETC’s cast and crew tie the production up with a big red bow.

‘It’s a Wonderful Christmas Carol Life’ Three wise guys away in a theater by Gary Zeidner Michael Ensminger

Never one to rest on its laurels, BETC’s latest ambition appears to be cornering the market on Christmas. BETC’s annual production of The SantaLand Diaries, David Sedaris’ cynicimental recounting of working as an elf at Macy’s during the holidays, has become a holiday tradition for many Boulder theater lovers. Now being presented at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts in partnership with Denver Center Attractions, BETC’s SantaLand has expanded its drawing power to the entire metro area. This year, while SantaLand slays ’em at the Denver Center, BETC has launched another holiday humdinger in Boulder with the regional premier of Every Christmas Story Ever Told (and then some)! As the name suggests, Every Christmas Story Ever Told is a medley-style, whirlwind tour of the most well-known and much-loved holiday movies, TV shows, songs and traditions from around the globe. Think of it as The Compleat Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) with Santa standing in for the Bard. Three actors ( Jon Fortmiller, Daniel Langhoff and Justin Walvoord) are set to perform Charles Dickens’ seminal story Boulder Weekly

performers speakers events

erra Incognita

Stepping Into the Unknown

Directed by MA Somatic Counseling students Erin Schweber and Jun Akiyama, “Terra Incognita” encourages participants to venture into the unknowable aspects of the creative process. This year’s concert presents 16 original explorations into the unmapped and unmappable territories of identity, privilege, relationships, possibility, fear, and hope. While the creative process provides an experiment in exploring the self, performance allows the vulnerability of that process to be seen without knowing how it will be received. Each piece in this year’s concert represents an exploration into that vulnerability and a willingness to step into the unknown. Similar to years past, the concert’s pieces include elements of dance, music, comedy, theatre, and visual art. While each piece maintains a uniqueness relative to its creator, they all share a common goal of artistic integrity and embodied performance. Showing up with full presence and “bodyfulness,” performers seek to invite the audience into the experience of each piece encouraging and allowing for a collective experience beyond just entertainment. In conjunction with the show, a visual art silent auction will be on showcase. All proceeds from the performance and art auction will benefit the MA Somatic Counseling scholarship fund.

January 27, 8:00 p.m. January 28th, 2:00 p.m. & 8:00 p.m. Performing Arts Center 2130 Arapahoe Ave Boulder, CO 80302

For more information and tickets visit naropa.edu/events December 15, 2016 35

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36 December 15, 2016

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Boulder Weekly

Courtesy of Gabrielle Louise

GABRIELLE LOUISE. 7 P.M. ETOWN

HALL, 1535 SPRUCE ST., BOULDER, 303-443-8696.

Thursday, December 15 SEE FULL EVENT LISTINGS ONLINE. To have an event considered for the calendar, send information to calendar@ boulderweekly. com. Please be sure to include address, date, time and phone number associated with each event. The deadline for consideration is Thursday at noon the week prior to publication. Boulder Weekly does not guarantee the publication of any event.

Music 80s Dance Party. 8 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-328-8328. Bluegrass Jam. 7 p.m. Front Range Brewing, 400 W. South Boulder Road, Suite 1650, Lafayette, 303-339-0767. Celtic Session Hosted By The Gael. 6 p.m. Very Nice Brewing Company, 20 Lakeview Drive, Unit 112, Nederland, 303-258-3770. DJ Petey. 8 p.m. Boulder House, 1109 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-997-4108.

DJ Tip Top. 10 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

Gathering Place, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0120.

Jam Night. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-7733.

Paul Shinn Quartet. 7 p.m. Caffe Sole, 637R S. Broadway St., Boulder, 303-499-2985.

Jon Mccarten and Friends. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355. Kort McCumber. 8 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile Cafe, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847. The Nancy Walker Trio. 7 p.m. Por Wine House, 836 1/2 Main St., Louisville, 970-259-3555. Open Mic. 9 p.m. Shine Restaurant &

Purple Squirrel. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696. Story Of Two. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400.

see EVENTS Page 38

Jans Inger’s Funk Fellowship

6 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 18, Dickens Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont, 303-834-9384. Courtesy of Tony Hisgett

Dec. 16-18, The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Courtesy of The Dairy

8:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 17, The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-447-0095.

If you’re looking to celebrate the holiday season, but you’re looking for something with a little more flavor than the typical holiday fare, head over to Dicken’s Opera House for the Flamenco Christmas show. Denver dance company Flamenco Underground, along with Natalia Perez, present “Navidad Flemenca: A Flamenco Christmas Night.” The show will feature guitarist Ricardo Diaz and singer Megan Chandler, and includes a program of Spanish Christmas carols. Stop by for some culture and cheer.

The Rocky Mountain Revels aren’t just an entertainment group that promotes music, dance, drama and ritual. They’re also dedicated to education. Over the years, the group has put on shows about Medieval times, the Renaissance, European immigrants and more. This year they’re tackling Scotland in their newest production “The Christmas Revels: A Scottish Solstice Celebration.” The show will feature traditional celebrations with names like Hogmanay and First Footing. It will also feature a brass quintet, a piper, dancers and a chorus of children and adults.

The Funk Fellowship has one guiding belief, and that’s in the healing powers of funky music, especially if that music is played by friends. With 16 years of music experience and touring with The Motet, Funk Fellowship leader Jans Ingber is ready to keep the music going by pulling in local acts and dream collaborators to provide one night of great music. At the Fox, Ingber will share the stage with Sharkey, Sharay Reed, Jarrod Lawson, Steveland Swatkins, Alvis Ford Jr. and Jonathan Stewart. It’s set to be a night of musical transcendence.

Boulder Weekly

Courtesy of The Fox

Funk

Revel

The Christmas Revels: A Scottish Solstice Celebration

Dance

Navidada Flamenca: A Flamenco Christmas Night

December 15, 2016 37

events

EVENTS from Page 37

arts

Events Ecstatic Dance. 7 p.m. The StarHouse, 3476 Sunshine Canyon, Boulder, 303-245-8452. HOVAB Catalogue Launch. 5 p.m. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-444-7328. Keeping Civil Liberties Alive and Well in a Trump Era. 7 p.m. First Congregational Church of Boulder, 1128 Pine St., Boulder, 303-442-1787. Friday, December 16

Live Entertainment Nightly at our 1709 Pearl St location THURSDAY DECEMBER 15 5PM

CLOSING AT 5PM FOR HOLIDAY PARTY FRIDAY DECEMBER 16 8PM

THE CONSTELLATION COLLECTIVE FEATURING DECHEN HAWK, COLIN ROBISON, & JARRAD MENARD AND MORE SATURDAY DECEMBER 17

HEATHERLYN 8PM THE HEARTSTRING HUNTERS 9PM SUNDAY DECEMBER 18

JAY MARTIN 8PM SYMPATHY AND THE LION 9PM

MONDAY DECEMBER 19 8PM “So, You’re a Poet,” presents

OPEN POETRY READING TUESDAY DECEMBER 20

JOSHUA VANACHORN 8PM MANY MOUNTAINS 9PM WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 21

DALLAS THORNTON 8PM OLD SOUL 9:30 PM THURSDAY DECEMBER 22 8PM

GRUPO CHEGANDO LÁ AND FRANCISCO MARQUES FRIDAY DECEMBER 23 8PM

CELIA GARY + THERESA PETERSON + RICKY HALL

Happy Hour 4-8 Every Day THELAUGHINGGOAT.COM 38 December 15, 2016

Bodacioussss. Museum of Contemporary Art, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303-298-7554. Through Jan. 29. Colorado Lowriders. Longmont Museum, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374. Through May 31.

Music The Alcapones. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Boulder Piano Quartet. 7 p.m. The Academy, 970 Aurora Ave., Boulder.

Mysterium Tremendum: collecting curiosity. CU Art Museum, 1085 18th St., Boulder, 303492-8300. Through Dec. 17. Of Earth: Boulder Potters’ Guild. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Through Jan. 8.

Kelly Shroads Photography

Olga Karpeisky. Community Art Program Gallery, NCAR, 1850 Table Mesa Drive, Boulder, 303-497-1174. Through Jan. 31. On Desert Time. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through Jan. 8.

The Austrian Connection. 9 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-3288328. Banshee Tree. 9 p.m. Gold Hill Inn, 401 Main St., Boulder, 303-443-6461.

Ladies and Gentlemen Meet the Dramastics — Nathan Carter. Museum of Contemporary Art, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303-298-7554. Through Jan. 29.

Pioneers: Women Artists in Boulder, 18981950. CU Art Museum, 1085 18th St., Boulder, 303-492-8300. Through Feb. 4. Uncommon Clay. The Arts Longmont Gallery, 356 Main St., Longmont, 303-678-7869. Through Dec. 23. Nathan Carter’s MCA exhibit, Ladies and Gentlemen Meet the Dramastics, chronicles the rise and fall of the fictional band The Dramastics. Now showing through Jan 29. Read more on page 29.

Chicos Malos. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Glory of Venice. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through Feb. 12.

The Complete Unknowns. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685.

HOVAB: Evolving Visions of Land and Landscape. Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art, 1750 13th St., 303-443-2122. Through Jan. 5.

Coral Creek feat Tim Carbone with Caribou Mt. Collective. 7:30 p.m. The Caribou Room, 55 Indian Peaks Drive, Nederland, 303-258-3637.

Joan Jordan. Community Art Program Gallery, NCAR, 1850 Table Mesa Drive, Boulder, 303-497-1174. Through Jan. 31.

Corey Rezner. 7 p.m. Por Wine House, 836 1/2 Main St., Louisville, 970-259-3555. Danny Shafer. 7 p.m. Rocky Mountain Oyster Bar, 35 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-1100. The Darling Ravens. 5 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914. David Coile with Jason Allen and John Bunzli. 9 p.m. Johnny’s Cigar Bar, 1801 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0884. Dechen Hawk, Colin Robinson, Jarrad Menard. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Electric Red. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-7733. Girls On Top! Annual Naughty Elves Show. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757. The Healthy Herd. 6:30 p.m. Still Cellars, 1115 Colorado Ave., Longmont, 720-204-6064. Honeytree Duo. 7:30 p.m. Oskar Blues CyclHOPS, 600 S. Airport Road, Longmont, 303-776-BIKE. Hunter Stone. 8:30 p.m. The Roost, 526 Main St., Longmont, 303-827-3380. Janine Gastineau. 7 p.m. Caffe Sole, 637R S. Broadway St., Boulder, 303-499-2985. JaryMane and Kirbatron. 8 p.m. Boulder House, 1109 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-997-4108. Jessica Eppler & Craig Naylon. 6 p.m. 300 Suns Brewing, 335 First Ave., Longmont, 720-442-8292.

Shockwave. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through May 28. Star Wars and the Power of Costume. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through April 2. States of Men — George Strasburger. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Through Jan. 15. Words are Leaves — Kim Dickey. Museum of Contemporary Art, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303-298-7554. Through Jan. 29.

Joe Russo’s Almost Dead. 9 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030.

Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Suite 100, Boulder, 303-800-4647.

John Mckay. 5 p.m. Pearl St., Pub, 1108 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-777-6768.

Saturday, December 17

Jubilingo. 10 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922. Klone Manor. 6 p.m. Upslope Brewing Company (Lee Hill), 1501 Lee Hill Road, Suite 20, Boulder, 508-873-9185. Longs Peak Chorus 2016 Christmas Concert. 7 p.m. Heart of Longmont Methodist Church, 350 11th Ave., Longmont, 303-776-3523. Moses Walker. 7 p.m. Grossen Bart Brewery, 1025 Delaware Ave., Longmont, 214-770-9847. The Pete & Vic Duo. 7 p.m. La Vita Bella Coffeehouse, 475 Main St., Longmont, 720-204-6298. Ravin’Wolf. 7:30 p.m. Cannon Mine Coffee, 210 S. Public Road, Lafayette, 303-665-0625. Templo & Sixis. 9 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 720-645-2467. Tim Mooney. 6 p.m. Very Nice Brewing Company, 20 Lakeview Drive, Unit 112, Nederland, 303-258-3770. Tim Ostdiek Band. 7 p.m. SKEYE Brewing, 900 S. Hover St., Unit D, Longmont, 303-774-7698. Events The Christmas Revels: A Scottish Celebration of the Winter Solstice. 7 p.m. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-447-9772. WordPress One-On-One Consulting. 10 a.m.

Music The Alcapones. 10 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-328-8328. Biff Gore: Holiday Soul. 2 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Chautauqua Community House, 301 Morning Glory Drive, Boulder, 303-442-3282. Charlie Brown Goes to the Nutcracker. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696. The Custom Shop. 7 p.m. SKEYE Brewing, 900 S. Hover St., Unit D, Longmont, 303-774-7698. Danny Shafer. 8 p.m. Liquid Mechanics Brewing Company, 297 U.S. 287, Lafayette, 720-550-7813. Dave Tamkin. 6 p.m. Rayback Collective, 2775 Valmont Road, Boulder, 720-885-1234. Dead Set. 4:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914. Denny Driscoll. 3 p.m. St. Vrain Cidery, 3525 State Highway 119, Longmont, 303-678-9402. DJ Knives. 8 p.m. Boulder House, 1109 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-997-4108. Gasoline Lollipops. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685. see EVENTS Page 40

Boulder Weekly

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December 15, 2016 39

events

EVENTS from Page 38

Goatz. 7:30 p.m. Oskar Blues CyclHOPS, 600 S. Airport Road, Longmont, 303-776-BIKE. Happy Hour Live Jazz. 5:30 p.m. Tandoori Grill South, 619 S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-543-7339. Harps for the Holidays. 1 p.m. Longmont Public Library, 409 Fourth Ave., Longmont, 303-651-8477.

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The Heartstring Hunters. 9 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Heatherlyn. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. HomeSlice Band. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757. Hotfoot. 8 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile Cafe, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847. J.wail And Friends. 8 p.m. Owsley’s Golden Road, 1301 Broadway St., Boulder, 720-849-8458. Jans Ingber’s Funk Fellowship. 9 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 720-645-2467. Jeremy Mohney. 8:30 p.m. The Roost, 526 Main St., Longmont, 303-827-3380.

Kevin Patrick. 6 p.m. Rayback Collective, 2775 Valmont Road, Boulder, 720-885-1234.

with us!

Last Men on Earth. 7:30 p.m. Dickens Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont, 720-297-6397.

KARAOKE

EVERY THURSDAY 8pm-Midnight

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Let the Beat Speak. 10 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922. Longs Peak Chorus 2016 Christmas Concert. 2:30 p.m. Heart of Longmont Methodist Church, 350 11th Ave., Longmont, 303-776-3523.

Fri. Dec 16 • 9pm-1am

Magpie Zero. 9:30 p.m. The Dark Horse, 2922 Baseline Road, Boulder, 303-442-8162.

DJ Nuñez

MaryLynn Gillaspie. 7 p.m. Por Wine House, 836 1/2 Main St., Louisville, 970-259-3555.

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longmontrestaurants.co 40 December 15, 2016

Thursday, Dec. 16 Ashes of Folly. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303495-3303. Friday, Dec. 17 Benjamin Dancer. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303-495-3303. Sunday, Dec. 18 Open Late (Until 9 p.m.). 10 a.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074. Monday, Dec. 19 “So, You’re a Poet” Open Poetry Reading. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Tuesday, Dec. 20

Benjamin Dancer stops by Innisfree to talk about his new series, starting with his book Patriarch Run, on Dec. 17.

Innisfree Weekly Open Poetry Reading. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303-495-3303.

Jim Powers. 10 a.m. The Stone Cup, 442 High St., Lyons, 303-823-2345.

Reserve your

HOLIDAY PARTY

words

Courtesy of Innisfree

The Mighty Twisters. 7 p.m. Caffe Sole, 637R S. Broadway St., Boulder, 303-499-2985. Ravin’ Wolf. 7 p.m. Grossen Bart Brewery, 1025 Delaware Ave., Longmont, 214-770-9847. Sandra MacDougall. 7 p.m. Longs Peak Pub & Taphopuse, 600 Longs Peak Ave., Longmont, 303-651-7886. She Groovez. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400. Space Orphan. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355. Tim Triggs Band. 6:30 p.m. Front Range Brewing, 400 W. South Boulder Road, Suite 1650, Lafayette, 303-339-0767. Vince Herman and Friends. 7:30 p.m. The Caribou Room, 55 Indian Peaks Drive, Nederland, 303-258-3637.

nut St., Boulder, 303-444-7328. Camera Movement: Dollies, Sliders and Jibs. 1 p.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range St., Suite 100, Boulder, 303-800-4647. The Christmas Revels: A Scottish Celebration of the Winter Solstice. 7 p.m. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-447-9772. Dairy Comedy. 8:30 p.m. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-444-7328. Saturday Morning Groove. 10:30 a.m. Free Motion Dance Studio, 2126 Pearl St., Boulder, 720-379-8299. Second Annual Longmont Museum Holiday Festival. 4 p.m. Longmont Museum, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374. Winter Solstice Celebration. 7 p.m. The Star-

theater

Music Acoustic Jam. 3 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922. Bluegrass Pick. 12 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400. Cycles. 10 p.m. Mountain Sun Pub, 1535 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-546-0886. Eric Wiggs Duo. 3 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914. see EVENTS Page 44

Michael Ensminger

A Christmas Carol. Miner’s Alley Theatre, 1224 Washington Ave., Golden, 303-935-3044. Through Dec. 23. An Act of God. Denver Performing Arts Complex, 1345 Champa St., Denver, 720-865-4239. Through March 12.

Voodoo Julia. 8:30 p.m. The Speakeasy, 301 Main St., Longmont, 720-684-4728. Whiskey Autumn. 5 p.m. Left Hand Brewing Company, 1265 Boston Ave., Longmont, 303-772-0258.

Finding Neverland. Denver Performing Arts Complex, 1345 Champa St., Denver, 720-865-4239. Through Jan. 1.

Wildwood Roots. 6 p.m. Very Nice Brewing Company, 20 Lakeview Drive, Unit 112, Nederland, 303-258-3770.

The SantaLand Diaries. Denver Performing Arts Complex, 1345 Champa St., Denver, 720-865-4239. Through Dec. 24.

Adult & Teen Art Workshop: Set the Mood: Using Toned Paper & Subtractive Techniques in Drawing. 10 a.m. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Wal-

Sunday, December 18

A Christmas Carol. Denver Performing Arts Complex, 1345 Champa St., Denver, 720-865-4239. Through Dec. 24.

Every Christmas Story Ever Told — presented by Boulder Ensemble Theatre Company. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Through Dec. 24.

Events

House, 3476 Sunshine Canyon, Boulder, 303-245-8452.

Thoroughly Modern Millie. BDT Stage, 5501 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-4496000. Through Feb. 25.

BETC brings to life classic characters in their new show Every Christmas Story Ever Told, showing through Dec. 24. Read BW’s review on page 35.

Boulder Weekly

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December 15, 2016 43

events

EVENTS from Page 40

Jay Martin. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

1800 Pikes Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-823-6685.

Jesse Garland. 10 a.m. The Stone Cup, 442 High St., Lyons, 303-823-2345.

Defunkt Railroad. 6 p.m. Upslope Brewing Company (Flatiron Park), 1898 S. Flatiron Court, Boulder, 508-873-9185.

Many Mountains. 5 p.m. Very Nice Brewing Company, 20 Lakeview Drive, Unit 112, Nederland, 303-258-3770. Mark Trippensee & Adam Rey ‘Bend Without Breaking’ Tour. 7 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Fluxus. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Open Mic. 6 p.m. Twisted Pine Brewery, 3201 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-786-9270.

New Family Dog. 5 p.m. Gold Hill Inn, 401 Main St., Boulder, 303-443-6461.

Open Mic. 7 p.m. Front Range Brewing, 400 W. South Boulder Road, Suite 1650, Lafayette, 303-339-0767.

Open Jam. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355.

Open Mic. 9 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-7733.

The Prairie Scholars. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Open Mic Hosted By Brian Rezac. 8 p.m. The Speakeasy, 301 Main St., Longmont, 720-684-4728.

Scott Von. 4:30 p.m. Left Hand Brewing Company, 1265 Boston Ave., Longmont, 303-772-0258.

Open Mic Hosted by Danny Shafer. 8 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

Sympathy And The Lion (Solo Show). 9 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

Open Mic with The Prairie Scholars. 6 p.m. SKEYE Brewing, 900 S. Hover St., Unit D, Longmont, 303-774-7698.

Events

The Christmas Revels: A Scottish Celebration of the Winter Solstice. 1:30 p.m. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-447-9772.

Lowriders: Cars & Culture. 12 p.m. Longmont Museum, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-6518374.

Hawaiian Hula Classes. 5 p.m. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-447-9772.

Wednesday, December 21

Last Chance Gift Fest. 10 a.m. Boulder County Fairgrounds, 9595 Nelson Road, Longmont, 720-864-6460. Truth Be Told Story Slam: Flame. 7 p.m. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-447-9772. Monday, December 19 Music Bluegrass Jam. 7:30 p.m. 12Degree Brewing, 820 Main St., Louisville, 720-638-1623. Hunter Stone Duo. 9 p.m. Pearl Street Pub, 1108 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-777-6768. I & The Many. 7 p.m. The Speakeasy, 301 Main St., Longmont, 720-684-4728. Love, Liebe, L’amour...Love beyond Borders. 2:30 p.m. Longmont Museum, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374. The Matt Flaherty Band. 9:30 p.m. Southern Sun Pub & Brewery, 627 S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-543-0886.

Music Blues Night. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-7733. Dallas Thornton. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Dechen Hawk. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696. Elie Carpenter. 7 p.m. La Vita Bella Coffeehouse, 475 Main St., Longmont, 720-204-6298. Kevin Patrick. 6 p.m. Rayback Collective, 2775 Valmont Road, Boulder, 720-885-1234. Nelson Rangell’s Smooth Jazz Christmas Show. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757. Old Soul. 9 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Open Bluegrass Pick. 7 p.m. Longs Peak Pub & Taphopuse, 600 Longs Peak Ave., Longmont, 303-651-7886.

Potluck Bluegrass. 7 p.m. La Vita Bella Coffeehouse, 475 Main St., Longmont, 720-204-6298.

Open Bluegrass Pick hosted by Kyle Ussery. 8:30 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

Treena Mcurdy. 6 p.m. Grossen Bart Brewery, 1025 Delaware Ave., Longmont, 214-770-9847.

Open Mic. 6:30 p.m. Cannon Mine Coffee, 210 S. Public Road, Lafayette, 303-665-0625.

Events

Open Stage. 7:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Chassidic New Year Celebration. 5:30 p.m. Boulder County Center for Judaism, 4900 Sioux Drive, Boulder, 303-494-1638. Movement Mondays. 7 p.m. Free Motion Dance Studio, 2126 Pearl St., Boulder, 720-379-8299. Young Artists at Work Holiday Camp: Land and Lore. 9 a.m. Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art, 1750 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-2122. Tuesday, December 20 Music Barbara Paris with the Billy Wallace Trio. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Social Hour With Randy Johnson. 4 p.m. Flatirons Terrace, 930 28th St., Boulder, 303-939-0898. Tim Ostdiek Winter Solstice Celebration. 6:30 p.m. Still Cellars, 1115 Colorado Ave., Longmont, 720-204-6064. Von Disco. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Events Ski Conditioning Class. 6 p.m. Mountains Edge Fitness, 555 30th St., Boulder, 303-494-5000.

Bluegrass Jam. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 44 December 15, 2016

Boulder Weekly

Wikimedia Commons/Frans Koppelaar

Lily

by Ron Koertge No one would take her when Ruth passed. As the survivors assessed some antiques, I kept hearing, “She’s old. Somebody should put her down.” I picked her up instead. Every night I tell her about the fish who died for her, the ones in the cheerful aluminum cans. She lies on my chest to sleep, rising and falling, rising and falling like a rowboat fastened to a battered dock by a string. American Life in Poetry: Column 609: We’ve been selecting poems for this column for more than 10 years, and I can’t remember ever publishing a poem about a cat. But here at last is a cat, a lovely old cat. Ron Koertge lives in California, and his most recent book of poems is Vampire Planet: New & Selected Poems, from Red Hen Press. — Ted Kooser, U.S. Poet Laureate We do not accept unsolicited submissions. American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2016 by Ron Koertge, “Lily,” from Vampire Planet: New & Selected Poems, (Red Hen Press, 2016). Poem reprinted by permission of Ron Koertge and the publisher. Introduction copyright © 2016 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006.

Boulder Weekly

December 15, 2016 45

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Not quite naughty, definitely not nice

‘Office Christmas Party’ can get stocking stuffed  by Ryan Syrek

t’s almost impressive to put together such a cornucopia of talent, such a veritable cavalcade of funny folks, and produce something this listless and dull. Given the presumed number of recording devices active in their vicinity, the cast of Office Christmas Party should have accidentally produced a gut-busting laugh riot, if simply left to their own devices. They were not left to their own devices. They were left to the devices of six different writers, and those writers’ devices are comedy-destroying suck machines. Directors Josh Gordon and Will Speck — yes, it took two directors to complete a job that should have required turning a camera on and walking slowly away — seem to have solidly identified the strengths of each cast member. You can tell because of the Swiss precision with which each cast member is denied the opportunity to demonstrate those strengths. Jason Bateman is Josh, a nice guy who helps run a technology company, despite the relentless bumbling of affable screw-up Clay (TJ Miller), whose dead father left him in charge of the branch. Carol ( Jennifer Aniston), Clay’s sister and icy interim CEO, declares massive layoffs just before Christmas unless the branch can somehow land a massive account in the next day or so. The staff thus needs to convince Walter Davis (Courtney B. Vance) to do business with them; so, naturally, they throw a ridiculous party, much to the chagrin of prissy HR headmistress Mary (Kate McKinnon). Jillian Bell, Rob Corddry, This collection of funny people don’t do anything funny. Jason Bateman leads a cast of great comedians who act Vanessa Bayer, Randall silly but never outright stupid in a movie that’s a glorified Park, Sam Richardson “save the summer camp” endeavor. and Karan Soni are all gifted with impeccably deft comedic timing and subsequently stripped of the ability to exhibit that timing. Olivia Munn is also a person who is in this movie. The cardinal sin of any “raunchy” comedy is overselling its raunch. The promise of Office Christmas Party was hedonistic debauchery that would make Caligula wish he hadn’t RSVP’d. Aside from an admittedly great scene with Bateman fellating an ice sculpture to an egg-nog climax, the naughty here is mighty tepid. That is, aside from the obligatory flaccid penis. No R-rated comedy can look itself in the mirror without at least one obligatory flaccid penis these days. Actually, the funniest segment has nothing to do with anything edgy, as it just features the brilliant Fortune Feimster describing how she finds the name Carol to be very old timey. That’s as much a credit to Feimster as a condemnation of the movie. The flagrant, galling stupidity of the film’s tech-based resolution should become a thing of legend. Watching Munn describe the bullshit “algorithm” that magics the internet out of all electrical devices is unintentional comedy genius. It is also but one small example of the overwhelming amount of plot and content shoveled into a tight runtime like so much unspecified meat in a can. Nobody comes to see something like this to watch characters emotionally evolve or find out about the financial solvency of a small tech company. If Santa could bring us a recording of an unscripted office Christmas party involving the cast of Office Christmas Party, we’d all be so much frickin’ merrier. Get on it, elves. This review previously appeared in The Reader of Omaha, Nebraska.

Coal Creek Dr.

46 December 15, 2016

Boulder Weekly

A ge s 1 1 - 1 7 | F u l l - d ay

film Here’s to the ones who dream ‘La La Land’ simply soars by Michael J. Casey

he city of Los Angeles is home to a ON THE BILL: La La Land. million stories, all of them different, Century Boulder, many of them sad. They don’t always 1700 29th St., Boulder, 303-444-0583, cinemark.com. start out that way. Most arrive in the Tickets start at $7.65. City of Stars as eager young dreamers with their heads in the clouds and their eyes on the prize. Fame and fortune are the goals, and though most fall short, people keep coming and trying to break through. Not everyone can fail, right? That’s what Mia (Emma Stone) is counting on as she daydreams of a life as a movie star while toiling away as a barista on the Warner Bros. lot. Though her bank account is poor and her prospects are negligible, she lives in a Jerry Lewis/Jacques Demy inspired candy-colored apartment with three other girls as she goes on audition after audition after audition. Someday she might strike it rich, but right now, the only currency Mia is flush with is hope. Financially, Sebastian (Ryan Gosling) is in a similar state but with a stricter sense of aesthetics. As a devoted jazz musician, Sebastian has the talent and the drive but his attitude has kept him from crossing over Ryan Gosling (Sebastian) and Emma Stone (Mia) sing and dance their way through the many trials and tribulations of to the big time. When seeking fame and fortune in Los Angeles. you are a success you can be the biggest pain in the ass around, but not until you sell a few albums. When Sebastian and Mia’s paths cross, there are the usual barbs of romantic comedy, but they quickly soften with a song and dance number. A lot of La La Land is a song and dance number, and each one acts like a shot of energy to an already kinetic screenplay. Writer/director Damien Chazelle mines a plethora of Hollywood history, and some French New Wave, to bring about a musical that is both enchanted by the dreams of Los Angeles — a factory that produces fantasy on multiple levels — and the reality that crushes them left and right. And while those song and dance numbers are memorable (composed by Justin Hurwitz and choreographed by Mandy Moore) the most interesting part of any relationship is the struggle, and that is where Chazelle grounds his tale. Sebastian, a traditionalist, goes on tour with a jazz-rock band because the money is good, and because he convinces himself this is what Mia would want him to do. Mia, trying to understand Sebastian’s purist passion, stays home and slowly goes broke as she writes a one-woman show to showcase her talents. When both plans blow up, they blame each other. LA doesn’t just chew you up and spit you out; it makes you compromise everything on the way down. To quote another musical from 2016, Sing Street, La La Land is “happy-sad.” Chazelle’s camera roams and soars with grace and vibrancy and few actors are as enjoyable to watch on screen as Gosling. Fewer still can break your heart. That look on his face isn’t just what happens when you accept the reality in front of you, but dream of what could have been. There’s also a hint of happiness that things turned out as well as they did. It could have been so much worse. Boulder Weekly

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boulder pearl street mall 1117 pearl street 303.473.4730

Boulder Weekly

Susan France

deep dish BY CAITLIN ROCKETT

rgue if you will, but no one knows how to prepare authentic Roman Italian food like a genuine Italian, such as Boulder restaurateur Marco Monnanni. The Rome native is currently the executive chef at the infinitely cozy Sforno Trattoria Romana on Pearl Street, but he’s known for dishing out Italian food (famously his housemade mozzarella) around Boulder County at Pane e Vino, Acqua Pazza, Bacco Trattoria and Mozzarella Bar and Parma Trattoria Mozzarella Bar. Bacco and Parma were the first two mozzarella bars in Colorado, dishing out in-house and Italianimported mozzarella that could be prepared with a number of condiments. Sforno offers a softly lit Tuscan atmosphere, replete with exposed brick walls, wrought iron gates, wooden shutters, honed travertine tile and a stone fountain bubbling gently in the center of the dining room. Flowers flow from hanging baskets on a mock balcony overlooking diners, and lights strung above the main dining room provide an al fresco ambiance. On a summer night, a real al fresco meal can be taken on Sforno’s patio, sipping a glass of wine, munching on warm bread with an herby oil for dipping, as tourists and locals stroll the Mall. The word sforno means “from the oven” in Italian, a fitting name for a restaurant built around a woodfired oven that turns out crispy-crusted pizzas during lunch and oven-baked gnocchi alla romana for dinner. Gnocchi alla romana is an old dish, dating back some 2,000 years or more. Some sources say the word gnocchi comes from an Italian word nocca, meaning knuckles, or the Lombard word knohha, which is a knot in wood). The thick, soft dumplings were introduced to Roman troops as they spread across the European continent conquering lands for the empire. Then they were made from semolina porridge-like dough mixed with eggs.

GNOCCHI TO KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF Sforno Trattoria Romana excels at this old Italian classic The potato-based gnocchi is more recent, cropping up after the potato was introduced to Europe in the 16th century. This type of gnocchi became very popular in Latium, the region of central western Italy that became the capital city of the Roman Empire. It’s fitting that this is the type of gnocchi served at Sforno. Now, gnocchi is intended as a first course — primo piatto — in place of soup or pasta. However, these starchy delights are quite filling, so some might consider them a meal on their own. This is the definition of comfort food. Sforna offers gnocchi alla romana with either butter sage sauce or a four-cheese sauce. But for me, it was the sage that called out, and reminded me of very traditional gnocchi dishes that were prepared by nonna’s in my Waldensian-settled town in west-

ern North Carolina. Gnocchi are really quite simple ingredient wise; they can be made of just potatoes, flour and salt (though many elaborate on this), but perfect gnocchi results from taking just the right steps in the process of cooking and combining these ingredients. The dumplings at Sforno keep to this simplicity while achieving the hallmarks of a finely made gnocchi: They are tender and light, yet sturdy enough to hold up to the sauce. I’ve read that it’s imperative to bake the potatoes, not boil them, to create the perfect gnocchi, as water is the death of good gnocchi dough. Whether as a meal on their own or an opening course, its worth a stroll down Pearl Street for Sforno’s classic gnocchi. Sforno Trattoria Romana 1308 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-449-1787.

DINE IN • TAKE OUT 1085 S Public Rd. Lafayette (303) 665-0666 Hours: Tues. Weds. Thurs. Sun 11am - 9pm Fri. Sat 11am - 9:30pm Boulder Weekly

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December 15, 2016 49

- FOR SNARF’S -

New Year's Eve: Turning Back The Clock to Celebrate a new year

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Saturday Dec. 31 Celebrating the New Year with an old vibe. Join us for New Year's Eve Flapper, Fellas and Fondue night. We have pulled out all the fondue tricks for this one night of the year. Our Chef has put together a special four-course meal and we will be giving a complimentary champagne toast with keepsake flutes during the chocolate fondue course.

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50 December 15, 2016

- BOULDER 2000 ARAPAHOE AVE. Boulder Weekly

nibbles BY JOHN LEHNDORFF

My Own Devices

Your shelf of dusty food appliances tells tales of guilt and unmade pasta

o you have certain “appliances” that are hidden away in your house that you would rather not talk about? If you answered “yes,” you are not alone. We all have our own steamers, fryers, rotisserie ovens and George Foreman grills in the closet. Little known fact: The primary dish prepared in Cuisinart and other home food processors is guilt. The multi-function, multi-part gadgets sit smugly on counters or dusty back shelves as a gnawing reminder of recipes you never made and meals you wanted to serve... but never had time. You break out the processor maybe once a year, but week to week it isn’t part of your cooking. This is another sad example of the pres-

Boulder Weekly

ence of Christmases past, the presents you must hang on to in case the gifter drops by and asks: “How’s that ice tea maker?” As a result, unwanted kitchen gizmos can follow you through life like distant relatives you don’t

really know. I’m not morbid, although I have written a lot of obituaries in my time. I don’t see dead people, but I do see row upon row of aged bread machines, percolators and electric can openers on sale at the Salvation Army, ARC and other Boulder County thrift stores. How many of them were well-meaning gifts? see NIBBLES Page 52

December 15, 2016 51

Damn Fine Food in Boul

der’s

John Lehndorff

Back

nibbles

yard

Come hang out on our amazing patio, take in the view, and a few libations while enjoying a beautiful meal!!! Ask us about catering your next event! 1265 Alpine Ave, Boulder

Hours: Mon- Sat 4:30-9:30pm • NEW FALL MENU Happy Hour: Drink & Food Specials: 4:30- 6pm Mon- Sat

NIBBLES from Page 51

303-442-6100 • www.scottsonalpine.com

Celebrating 12 years of a new taste experience and 39 years of family tradition

the Praha HAPPY HOUR 3:30 - 6:30pm

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Czech Us Out! Beers on Tap Fine Wines Delicious Food 7521 Ute Hwy, Longmont, CO • 303-702-1180 www.praharestaurant.com

FROM THE DIVIDE TO YOUR DOOR!

Many readers who cook all the time for family and friends may love using a vacuum sealer, sous vide Before you give a equipment or other appliances for playing in the kitchen appliance, see what your giftee kitchen. I understand, but I’m more utilitarian. The really needs. ones I can’t live without include a stovetop popcorn popper, blender, coffee grinder and microwave. I used to swear by my old rice steamer but now I just dump my basmati in boiling water and strain it when it is done. I have a crockpot that comes in handy for an occasional potluck. While the possibility of pressing various foods into a waffle maker does intrigue me, I’m not sure I need something like a pressure cooker that is smarter than me. If you are pondering gifting a friend with a zucchini spiralizer, check with them first. The only gizmo they may really need and would use often is a sharp paring knife. It’s easy to wrap and it fits in John Lehndorff that solstice stocking. There are other devices, like a musubi mold, that I’m hanging onto for the time being. You never know when you’ll want to make Hawaiian seaweed-wrapped SPAM sushi.

Local Food News

When Denver Broncos star Von Miller recently gave every player in the AFC West a bottle of custom 2014 The Setting Cabernet Sauvignon (more than 200 bottles), the wines were blended by Boulderborn Fairview High graduate Jesse Katz. ... Ty Hammes and Erika Anderson have opened Mojo Taqueria at 216 Main St. in Lyons. One of the region’s most talented chefs, James Van Dyk, runs the kitchen, dishing authentic scratch-made tacos, ceviche, enchiladas, carne asada and more. Van Dyk owned Lyons’ acclaimed Gateway Cafe. ... The Gold Hill Inn’s final night of dining until spring is Dec. 18. ... Bryan Drayton of Oak at fourteenth and Acorn will open a new rooftop restaurant at 1023 Walnut St. in Boulder in summer 2017.

Finding Global Holiday Goodies

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LOOK FOR OUR SOLAR WATER CART AT BOULDER EVENTS 52 December 15, 2016

Lot of folks are looking at their DNA these days as well as their genealogy to understand their cultural inheritance. I’m more interested in my pastry family tree and where I can locate certain baked goods that signify “Christmas” to me, including pannetone and stollen, two classic fruited, yeasted sweet breads. Here are some local sources for some hard-to-find treats: • Panettone and figgy pudding: Moxie Bread Co., Louisville, moxiebreadco.com • Paczki (Polish doughnuts), Russian tea cookies and babka (coffee cake) with raisins: Royal Bakery, Arvada, royalbakeryco.com • Stollen (with fruit and almond paste): City Bakery, Denver, citybakerydenver.com • Pfeffernuss (spice) and springele (anise) cookies and stollen: Rheinlander see NIBBLES Page 54

Boulder Weekly

EAT GOOD, DO GOOD

3073 Walnut 303.447.2315

Boulder Weekly

We donated $6000 through the Kirk “Rocky” Derichsweiler Memorial Foundation to this event to make it happen, thank you for eating all those burritos and thank you Ryan Van Duzer for helping with the “Eat Good Do Good” dollar campaign. Thank you Community Cycles for doing such great things with the money and managing it well. 303 bikes given away to kids! Kids Love bikes!

673 S. Broadway 720.304.8118

December 15, 2016 53

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NIBBLES from Page 52

Bakery, Arvada, rheinlanderbakery.com • Pannetone, ricotta pie and Italian cookies including pignoli: Dolce Sicilia Italian Bakery, Wheat Ridge, dolcesiciliabakery.com

Giving Local Books to Local Cooks

Denver author Adrian Miller dishes about why America eats the way it does in Soul Food: The Surprising Story of an American Cuisine.

I don’t use recipes very often so I don’t often read cookbooks, but let me suggest three food books that are readable and highly useful in the kitchen. Soul Food: The Surprising Story of an American Cuisine, One Plate at a Time (UNC Press, 2013) by Denver author Adrian Miller: This book won the 2014 James Beard Award in Reference and Scholarship, but it’s a great page turner about why America eats the way it does. I love the chapters on real mac-n-cheese and fruit cobbler. (Paperback available Feb. 2017) Jax Fish House Book of Fish by Dave Query (Pruett, 2002, available online): If you teach a person to fish they can fish for food, but he or she will need a copy of this book. The basic fish and seafood cooking directions are detailed and straightforward, along with well-tested side dish recipes from the original restaurant in Boulder. Farm, Fork, Food: A Year of Spectacular Recipes Inspired by Black Cat Farm (Kyle Books, 2014) by Eric Skokan: A noted Boulder chef and farmer writes about his dual life, and in the process helps us appreciate exactly what the moniker “farm-totable” really means to the growers, cooks and diners.

Taste of the Week

The Bagel Store has successfully flown under the foodie radar for 40 years at 942 S. Monaco Parkway in Denver. Maybe it is because this no-frills, take-outonly kosher bakery just sells baked goods — no coffee, no toaster and no cream cheese. They produce classic bagels — but no silly flavors like blueberry — and the challah makes topnotch French toast. I will detour there simply to get onion-y bialys and a few, filled rugelach and hammentaschen.

Words to Chew On

“Scruffy hospitality means you’re not waiting for everything in your house to be in order before you host and serve friends in your home. Scruffy hospitality means you hunger more for good conversation and serving a simple meal of what you have, not what you don’t have. ... If we only share meals with friends when we’re excellent, we aren’t truly sharing life together.” — Rev. Jack King

www.philfoodtrade.com

Distributed by: Philippine Foodtrade Corp., Commerce, CA 90040

TEL: (323) 727-5107 FAX: (323) 727-1045

54 December 15, 2016

John Lehndorff is a former pantry boy at the Greenbriar Inn. He hosts Radio Nibbles at 8:25 a.m. Thursdays on KGNU (88.5 FM, 1390 FM, streaming at kgnu.

Boulder Weekly

We Deliver in Boulder

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Boulder Weekly

December 15, 2016 55

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t’s amazing how music can transport you to a particular time and place in the blink of an eye. ON TAP: Big Choice A familiar song from days past comes on the Brewing. 7270 W. 118th Place, Broomfield, radio and your body is suddenly flooded with 303-469-2616. the emotions of middle school/high school/colbigchoicebrewing.com lege/first love/first heartbreak/first sexual encounter/ whatever like a kick to the head. That moment came to me just a few months ago when I was at Hazel’s and picked up a single of Disconnected Red (6.7% ABV) from Big Choice Brewing. The beer, a nice hoppy amber, was enjoyable, but it was the lyrics on the label that caught my eye: a line from Face to Face’s 1995’s single, “Disconnected” off the Big Choice album. Face to Face was far from my favorite band, but 106.7 KROQ — “Alternative first” — would spin them as if the fate of the world depended on it, and like any earworm, I grew to love their pop-punkbro-mentality. All that Susan France came flooding back with that first sip of Disconnected Red and I knew that a visit to Big Choice’s home base was a must. Considering the origin of the brewery’s name, it was no shock to sit in their casual Broomfield digs with a beer and hear the somewhat forgotten works of The Vandals, Pennywise, Descendants, NOFX and a slew of ’90s punk Andrea Miller pouring up a Cascadian Dark Ale at Big rock. While their time Choice Brewing. may have passed — except for The Vandals and Descendents, their music is timeless — Big Choice’s brews certainly haven’t. Started by two high school friends and CU-Boulder alums Nathaniel Miller and Tyler Willey, Big Choice opened their doors in 2012 and have since been the place for people to come and drink unpretentious beer and listen to unpretentious music. Backed by a lineup of staples: Pinhead Pilsner (5%), clean and balanced; 21st Century Digital Brown (4.8%), light and roasted; and Type 3 IPA (6.3%), which favors balance over melt-your-face hops, Big Choice offers plenty of easily drinkable and pleasant offerings. But it’s their #42 Poblano Stout (5.7%), featuring de-seeded and roasted poblano peppers, that grabs your attention. There is no heat to the Poblano Stout, just smoky, peppery goodness that gives the oatmeal stout an extra shot of character. Breakfast just got a hell of a lot more interesting. As do the holidays with Big Choice’s Peppermint Stout (5.7%); served in a glass dusted with crushed candy canes and a York Peppermint Pattie on the side — you don’t need me to tell you it’s a winner. Peppermint Stout won’t be around for long; they tap two kegs on Fridays and pour them until they’re gone. Ditto for OBEAH, Russian Imperial Stout with Caribbean Jerk Spices — and boy do those spices show. These are food beers through and through. I could go on about the stouts, the Starry Night Cascade Dark (7.3%) — a black IPA that is fantastic — and the Chainsaw Princess of Karate (6%) — a sour brew in collaboration with Odd 13 Brewing — but that would defeat the point of Big Choice Brewing. Their modus operandi is ST. FUADIT — Shut The F**ck Up And Drink IT — and I’ll comply. Bartender, another Poblano Stout if you please. Boulder Weekly

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ARIES

MARCH 21-APRIL 19: “Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how,” said dancer Agnes De Mille. “We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.” As true as her words might be for most of us much of the time, I suspect they don’t apply to you right now. This is one of those rare moments when feeling total certainty is justified. Your vision is extra clear and farseeing. Your good humor and expansive spirit will ensure that you stay humble. As you take leap after leap, you’ll be surrounded by light.

TAURUS

APRIL 20-MAY 20: “We are torn between nostalgia for

the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange,” wrote author Carson McCullers. Are you ready to give that adage a twist, Taurus? In the coming weeks, I think you should search for foreign and strange qualities in your familiar world. Such a quest may initially feel odd, but will ultimately be healthy and interesting. It will also be good preparation for the next chapter of your life, when you will saunter out into unknown territory and find ways to feel at home there.

GEMINI

guarantee that you will have the potential to meet with Future Versions of You on a regular basis during the next nine months. These encounters are likely to be metaphorical or dreamlike rather than literal, but they will provide valuable information as you make decisions that affect your destiny for years to come. The first of these heart-to-hearts should come very soon.

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CAPRICORN

DEC. 22-JAN. 19: During these last few weeks, you may have sometimes felt like smashing holes in the wall with your head, or dragging precious keepsakes into the middle of the street and setting them on fire, or delivering boxes full of garbage to people who don’t appreciate you as much as they should. I hope you abstained from doing things like that. Now here are some prescriptions to help

you graduate from unproductive impulses: Make or find a symbol of one of your mental blocks, and bash it to pieces with a hammer; clean and polish precious keepsakes, and perform rituals to reinvigorate your love for them; take as many trips to the dump as necessary to remove the congestion, dross and rot from your environment.

AQUARIUS

JAN. 20-FEB. 18: Singer-songwriter Tom Waits has a

distinctive voice. One fan described it this way: “Like how you’d sound if you drank a quart of bourbon, smoked a pack of cigarettes and swallowed a pack of razor blades. Late at night. After not sleeping for three days.” Luckily, Waits doesn’t have to actually do any of those self-destructive things to achieve his unique tone. In fact, he’s wealthy from

selling his music, and has three kids with a woman to whom he’s been married for 36 years. I foresee a similar potential for you in the coming weeks and months. You may be able to capitalize on your harmless weirdness ... to earn rewards by expressing your charming eccentricities ... to be both strange and popular.

PISCES

FEB. 19-MARCH 20: Was punk rock born on June 4, 1976? A fledgling band known as the Sex Pistols played that night for a crowd of 40 people at a small venue in Manchester, England. Among the audience members was Morrissey, who got so inspired that he started his own band, The Smiths. Also in attendance was a rowdy guy who would soon launch the band Joy Division, despite the fact that he had never played an instrument. The men who would later form the Buzzcocks also saw the performance by Johnny Rotten and his crew. According to music critic David Nolan, these future pioneers came away from the June 4 show with the conclusion, “You don’t have to be a virtuoso or a musical genius to be in a band; anyone can do it.” I see parallels between this seminal event and your life in the coming weeks.

MAY 21-JUNE 20: “If you don’t use your own imagination, somebody else is going to use it for you,” said writer Ronald Sukenick. That’s always true, but it will be especially important for you to keep in mind in 2017. You Geminis will have an unparalleled power to enlarge, refine and tap into your imagination. You’ll be blessed with the motivation and ingenuity to make it work for you in new ways, which could enable you to accomplish marvelous feats of creativity and self-transformation. Now here’s a warning: If you DON’T use your willower to take advantage of these potentials, your imagination will be subject to atrophy and colonization.

CANCER

JUNE 21-JULY 22: Why are Australian sand wasps so

skilled at finding their way back home after being out all day? Here’s their trick: When they first leave the nest each morning, they fly backwards, imprinting on their memory banks the sights they will look for when they return later. Furthermore, their exiting flight path is a slow and systematic zigzag pattern that orients them from multiple directions. I recommend that you draw inspiration from the sand wasps in 2017, Cancerian. One of your important tasks will be to keep finding your way back to your spiritual home, over and over again.

LEO

JULY 23-AUG. 22: Vault 21, a restaurant in Dunedin, New

Zealand, serves sautéed locusts. For $5, patrons receive a plate of five. The menu refers to the dish not as “Oily Sizzling Grasshoppers,” but rather as “Sky Prawns.” Satisfied customers know exactly what they’re eating, and some say the taste does indeed resemble prawns. I bring this to your attention, Leo, because it illustrates a talent you will have in abundance during 2017: re-branding. You’ll know how to maximize the attractiveness and desirability of things by presenting them in the best possible light.

VIRGO

AUG. 23-SEPT. 22: The literal translation of the German

word Kummerspeck is “grief bacon.” It refers to the weight gained by people who, while wallowing in self-pity, eat an excess of comfort food. I know more than a few Virgos who have been flirting with this development lately, although the trigger seems to be self-doubt as much as self-pity. In any case, here’s the good news: The trend is about to flip. A flow of agreeable adventures is due to begin soon. You’ll be prodded by fun challenges and provocative stimuli that will boost your confidence and discourage Kummerspeck.

LIBRA

SEPT. 23-OCT. 22: “Since you are like no other being ever

created since the beginning of time, you are incomparable,” wrote journalist Brenda Ueland. Pause for a moment and fully take in that fact, Libra. It’s breathtaking and daunting. What a huge responsibility it is to be absolutely unique. In fact, it’s so monumental that you may still be shy about living up to it. But how about if you make 2017 the year you finally come into your own as the awesomely unprecedented creature that you are? I dare you to more fully acknowledge and express your singular destiny. Start today!

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SCORPIO

OCT. 23-NOV. 21: “To dream ... to dream has been the busi-

ness of my life,” wrote author Edgar Allan Poe. I don’t expect you to match his devotion to dreams in 2017, Scorpio, but I do hope you will become more deeply engaged with your waking fantasies and the stories that unfold as you lie sleeping. Why? Because your usual approaches to gathering useful information won’t be sufficient. To be successful, both in the spiritual and worldly senses, you’ll need extra access to perspectives that come from beyond your rational mind. Here’s a good motto for you in 2017: “I am a lavish and practical dreamer.”

SAGITTARIUS

NOV. 22-DEC. 21: Physicist Stephen Hawking is skeptical

of the hypothesis that humans may someday be able to travel through time. To jokingly dramatize his belief, he threw a party for time travelers from the future. Sadly, not a single chrononaut showed up to enjoy the champagne and hors d’oeuvres Hawking had prepared. Despite this discouraging evidence, I

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Dear Dan: I’m having an issue with my boyfriend, and I don’t know if I am the crazy, paranoid, controlling party here. We have been together for more than a year and a half. We had troubles early on because he has a low sex drive. It made me very insecure, and I think that’s why, at the time, I became extremely jealous of his friendship with his very attractive intern. I fully owned up to my irrational jealousy and decided on my own that it was my responsibility to overcome that. She eventually stopped working with him, and they haven’t been in contact for over sex months. Fast-forward to the present. On Monday night, I asked my boyfriend what his plans were on Tuesday. (I am studying for law school exams, so I knew I wouldn’t have time to spend with him.) Around 8:30 on Tuesday, he texted me and asked how studying was going, and I asked him again what his plans were. He told me he was going to meet an “old coworker” at a bar for birthday drinks. I didn’t think twice about it. Then, around 11:30 when I got in bed to relax, I saw on my Instagram feed that his old intern posted a photo of her birthday party at the bar. I became extremely upset, because instead of being up front and saying he was meeting HER for her birthday, he was intentionally ambiguous. I confronted him when he got home, and he admitted to being ambiguous to avoid a “freak-out.” I told him that if he’d been up front with me,

Boulder Weekly

SAVAGE by Dan Savage

I would have been jealous but I would have also been mindful of my toxic feelings and not projected them onto him. I told him that as a result of how he handled it, I feel worse, I feel lied to, and I feel insecure. He acted like I was being ridiculous. He insisted it was a last-minute invite and he didn’t want to cause any drama. We went to sleep, and I woke up feeling pretty much over it. But when he got into the shower, I looked at his phone and saw that she had actually invited him on Monday afternoon. So he lied to me when I asked him what his plans were on Tuesday, and he lied to me again when he said it was a last-minute invite. I am not upset with him for getting drinks with her — most of his friends are female and I NEVER feel jealous about them. I have a weird tic about this girl, though, and I’ve owned up to it. I don’t want to control him, but I feel like I can’t trust him now. Up until now, I’ve never once suspected him of being dishonest. — Am I Crazy? Dear AIC: Sex months? Interesting typo. There’s another way to read your boyfriend’s ambiguity/obfuscation/dishonesty about Tuesday night: equal parts

Love

considerate and self-serving. Your boyfriend knew you had to study, he knew his ex-intern is a sore subject/weird tic, and by opting for ambiguity he allowed you to focus on your studies. So that was maybekindasorta considerate of him. And since one person’s “mindful of my toxic feelings” and “handling it” is another person’s “freak-out” and “invasion of privacy,” AIC, your boyfriend opted for ambiguousness/deceit-byomission to avoid drama. And perhaps that was self-serving of him. Want to prove to your boyfriend that he didn’t need to lie to you about spending time with his ex-intern? Retroactively bestow your blessing on Tuesday night’s birthday drinks and stop raking him over the fucking coals for his thoroughly explicable actions. (They’re so explicable, I just explicked the shit out of them.) Yes, he lied to you. But unless you’re made of marshmallow fluff and unicorn farts, AIC, you’ve lied to him once or twice over the last year and a half. Even the “most honest” people on earth tell the odd harmless, self-serving white lie once in a while. If you

want your relationship to last, AIC, you roll your eyes at the odd HSSW lie and move on. If you want your relationship to end, you do exactly what you’re doing. If your boyfriend hasn’t given you some other reason(s) to believe he’s cheating with his ex-intern or anyone else, AIC, drop the Tuesday night/birthday drinks subject. I would also advise you to apologize to your boyfriend for having “looked at his phone” while he was in the shower, which is both an asshole move and, yes, a sign that you might be the crazy, paranoid, and controlling one in this relationship. And for the sake of your relationship — for the sake of fuck — stop following the exintern on Instagram. Finally, AIC, you mention mismatched sex drives. As several commenters pointed out on my blog, where your letter appeared as the Savage Love Letter of the Day, mismatched sex drives are usually a bad sign. You talk about the libido issue in the past tense, so perhaps it’s not a problem anymore. But if the problem was resolved in a way that left you feeling neglected, insecure, and frustrated, it wasn’t resolved and it constitutes a much bigger threat to your relationship than that ex-intern. Send questions to mail@savagelove.net and follow @fakedansavage on Twitter.

December 15, 2016 63

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EEDBETWEENTHELINES

by Sarah Haas

For safety or profit?

ell before Denver’s Initiative 300 passed stakeholder groups came to the same side of the table in — a measure to allow public consumpsupport of regulations curtailing Initiative 300, including tion of marijuana — the Colorado Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), the Department of Revenue’s (CDOR) Colorado Restaurant Association (CRA) and several Liquor Enforcement Division was well groups from the liquor industry. on the way to issuing rules to amend it. In fact, as stated in a CDOR press release, it was the What voters passed on Nov. 8 was an initiative creat- liquor industry that first raised concern with dual-coning a four-year pilot program allowing for certain busisumption: “The concept was raised by the liquor indusnesses, like bars, cafes or music venues, to seek permits try, who expressed concerns about the consumption of for consumption of bring-your-own marijuana for adults marijuana at licensed liquor establishments and the need over 21 years old, given the licensee met several qualifito expressly prohibit it.” cations, including approval from their neighborhood. But the question of dual-consumption is not new — it But on Nov. 18, CDOR approved new regulations, arrived in a big way on the day Amendment 64 was impleincluding Rule 47-900, prohibiting liquor licenses from mented and adults in Colorado could legally consume mariallowing the consumption of marjuana. The associated risks have Chuck Grimmett via Flickr.com. ijuana on their licensed premises, existed all along without specific significantly augmenting the pracobjection from many of the staketical application and spirit of holder groups involved in the workInitiative 300. ing process that led to Rule 47-900. In a CDOR press release, the MADD Colorado Executive Director Fran Lanzer explains department justified Rule 47-900 that they did not take a position by citing their obligation to protect on Amendment 64, or Initiative the public safety and health of gen300 for that matter, because they eral society: “After carefully considare not a prohibitionist organizaering all impacts to Coloradans tion, but rather one that prioritizand industry, this rule is in the best es public safety. interests of public health and safety “We prioritized the enforcement of marijuana resulting from public and dual consumption.” impaired driving and did what we could to keep our To arrive at this decision, CDOR brought various stakeholders together in working groups in the months roads safe,” Lanzer says. “Now, this [Initiative 300] smallprior to the vote, just in case it passed. During this time er subset where we do have some concern around having the Retail Marijuana Public Health Advisory Committee, marijuana consumption in bars and restaurants, [it may] made up of scientists and doctors, found “substantial evipotentially increase impaired driving on our roads.” dence” that dual or poly consumption (being intoxicated The Colorado Restaurant Association lists liability as by two or more substances at one time) increases impairits foremost concern and as rationale behind their supment and the risk of a motor vehicle crash. port of the rule, stating in a press release that “allowing In a statement, Dr. Larry Wolk, executive director the consumption of marijuana in a liquor-licensed estaband chief medical officer at Colorado Department of lishment puts the owner and employees in a difficult sitPublic Health and Environment said, “If marijuana use uation with both law enforcement and customers.” is allowed in establishments that hold a liquor license, The economics operating just beneath the surface are dual use certainly would occur regularly and present a not to be overlooked, says Mason Tvert, a marijuana danger to public health and safety.” legalization activist who was part of the Initiative 300 In light of these findings, several often opposing campaign. The initiative would have created the first

occasion in which marijuana would have been introduced in direct competition to alcohol in bars, venues and restaurants. Whether viewed as a complement to or substitute for alcohol, marijuana could deplete liquor sales if allowed in bars. While smaller bars and restaurants may be amenable to the change, establishments and industries that solely or heavily rely on revenue of alcohol sales could be motivated to protect profit. “It just seems kind of sketchy, quite frankly,” Tvert says about how blatantly the press release acknowledged the liquor industry’s backing of the rule. “Think of all the different ways you could approach this if your concern was truly about public health and public safety? If [public safety was their concern,] why would they necessarily want to prevent adults from choosing to use a less harmful substance? Why jump to banning marijuana use in these venues?” In the name of treating marijuana like alcohol, he offers several alternative approaches, like allowing patrons a choice of which substance to consume, or limiting the amount of drinks an adult could consume if they were also consuming marijuana. Or, a restaurant could choose to not sell alcohol for a specific occasion, like a private party, and allow patrons to bring marijuana instead. To this the CRA says such systems would put bars and restaurants in “awkward” situations, as servers would be thrust into the front lines of an emerging public health challenge. Tvert doesn’t buy it. “There is only one reason [they are seeking to prohibit co-consumption],” he says. “Why else would it be other than to ensure others that the people of age who are there to get intoxicated are only there getting intoxicated on alcohol?” Initiative 300 passed with only 53 percent of the vote. Still, it is the government’s responsibility to uphold the spirit the law as well as to ensure public safety, an assuredly difficult task. It is laudable to have so many disparate groups working together to protect roadways from preventable deaths. But we must ask the tough questions about what lies behind good intentions, and uphold the integrity of our democracy by ensuring that it is not for sale to special interests.

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by Paul Danish

Susan France

Marijuana and the thinking teenager

he anti-marijuana-legalization movement has made the claim that legalization will lead to an eruption in teenage marijuana use a central part of its narrative. But it turns out that the kids didn’t get

the memo. The University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research is out with its latest national survey of teenage drug use, including marijuana use, and what it found was that since 2012, the year that Colorado and Washington state legalized pot, teenage drug use is down, not up. What’s more, it found that the current cohort of American teenagers smokes less tobacco, drinks less alcohol, and does fewer drugs generally than any since the survey began in 1975. The survey, which is now in its 42nd year, queries about 45,000 eighth, 10th and 12th grade students in some 380 public and private secondary schools around the country about personal drug use. This year, it found that since 2012 the percentage of eighth and 10th grade students who reported ever using marijuana had dropped from 15.2 percent to 12.8 percent in 2016 for eighth graders and from 33.8 percent 29.7 percent for 10th graders. For 12th graders the numbers were 45.2 percent in 2012 and 44.5 percent in 2016. The percentage of teens that had used marijuana in the past 30 days was also down for each class from 2012 to 2016: from 6.5 percent to 5.4 percent for eighth graders, 17.0 percent to 14 percent for 10th graders, and 22.9 percent to 22.5 percent for 12th graders. (The numbers for 12th graders were essentially flat; the 2016 number was up from 21.3 percent in 2015, but still below the 2012 percentage.) During the same period tobacco use dropped

more than 50 percent among eighth and 10th graders and nearly 50 percent among 12th graders. And compared to 20 years ago, tobacco use among high school students has collapsed. For instance, in 1996, 22.2 percent of high school seniors reported smoking cigarettes daily. For 2016, the figure is 4.8 percent. There was a similar downward trend in alcohol use as well. Between 2012 and 2016, the number of teens who had had a drink during the previous 30 days dropped by a third to a half depending on the class. All of which left the folks conducting the study and other supposed substance abuse experts at a loss to explain the trends. “The question is: Why is all this happening?” said Lloyd Johnson, who has directed the University of Michigan survey since its inception. “Even though we have some hypotheses, I don’t know that we necessarily have the right ones.” He said he thinks the decline in smoking may have played a part in the broader decline, because tobacco is the gateway drug to alcohol and other drug use for teenagers. Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on

Drug Abuse, suggested that social media and video games may have played a role — by keeping kids busy at home and away from peer pressure to drink and use drugs. “There may be a protective effect brought about by the fact that they don’t have so many occasions to get together where the use of drugs would be facilitated,” she told USA Today, but also said that she didn’t have hard data to support the idea. This is more than a little ironic, since the country’s nanny-statist busy bodies also attack video games and social media as addictive and isolating. Actually, I think Ms. Volkow may have a point about the role of social media in discouraging teenage drug use, but not in the way she thinks. It may be that social media has given teenagers unprecedented access to information about the actual effects and risks, both good and bad, of various recreational drugs — and that this has allowed them to distinguish between use and abuse, and to make rational, informed decisions about drug use. Interesting, isn’t it that the head of the National Institute of Drug Abuse finds the internet valuable in fighting drug use not because it informs and allows people to reason together, but because it isolates. It tells you a lot about why the war on drugs has been a colossal failure.

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(IN CASE YOU MISSED IT) An irreverent and not always accurate view of the world

I WANT IT NOW Ever wonder what it would be like to get drunk with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un? Wonder no more. According to Japanese media, the squatty leader is an angry, if not immature, drunk. (As if his long list of previous finger-pointing and “nah-uh” antics didn’t already prove the immature part.) On a recent bender, he Wikimedia Commons allegedly yelled at his top military officials for failing to produce “not even one military satellite.” We can just see Mr. Un stamping his feet and shaking his head, while screaming, “No I want one of those... who says I can’t have one? ... I want it now.” The military leaders of course try to placate him, offering up other things like, “Well sir, we already built you an internationally illadvised nuclear weapons program that might spell the end of the world after President Trump takes office in January.” To which, Mr. Un slurs, “I want the world. I want the whole world. I want to lock it all up in my pocket, it’s my bar of chocolate, give it to me now... don’t care how, I want it now” while spinning around the room. And then after the real-life drunken tantrum, (not the Willy Wonka-esque one described above), the dictator demands the military officials stay up all night writing apology letters. And each one of them who had a misspelled word was executed the next morning, while the supreme leader demanded coffee and forbade anyone from opening the curtains. Hangovers are the worst.

BP IS RELOCATING TO DENVER… WHAT COULD GO WRONG? BP aka British Petroleum is relocating its onshore division to Denver. We can only hope that BP’s onshore division can do for the Rocky Mountains what its offshore division did for the Gulf of Mexico. I have a feeling Matt Damon is already reading through scripts about rigs Wikimedia Commons blowing up in the Julesburg Basin. As expected, Governor John “the frack fluid drinker” Hickenlooper is already praising the arrival of BP as if it will be some kind of economic savior to our endangered economy. Note to Hick: It’s only a couple of hundred jobs getting dumped into an exploding economy that won’t even notice BP’s arrival until it starts its uptick in natural gas drilling and further screws up our beautiful environment. In other words, BP’s arrival means nothing to the people of Colorado. Their relocation only adds to your legacy as the worst environmental governor in the history of Colorado. That’s right, worse than Owens, because at least when he isn’t trying to help oil companies do business with war-crime-committing, refugee raping regimes in Africa, he at least admits he’s a Republican. Welcome to Colorado BP. If you need anything, and we do me anything — setback exemptions, waived fines, lack of inspections on your wells, your water carried — just give our Gov. a call. He’ll do anything to make you happy. Boulder Weekly

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