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contents NEWS:

A diary of my Presidential campaign by Sparrow

Tired of who Tired of politicians politicians who treat Tired of politicians who treat you treat like a

you you like like a a skunk skunk

Tired of politicians whoparty treat youyou likesmoke a skunk at a because pot? skunk the garden party because at at a garden garden party because you smoke pot? you smoke pot? at a garden party because youfor pot? Then should Paul Then you you should vote vote forsmoke Paul Danish. Danish. Then you should vote for Paul Danish.

Paul worked for more than 30 to Paul worked more 30 years years to legalize legalize marijuana. marijuana. ....................................................................... • Paul worked for for more thanthan 30 years toDanish. Then you should vote for Paul •He was speaking out for legalization in •He was speaking out for legalization in public public when when most most politicans politicans

NEWS:

The curation of discovery: Part 3 by Rico Moore

legalize marijuana. were too to. were too scared scared to.for legalization in public • He was speaking out •He helped write two early legalization ballot initiatives. Paul worked for more than 30 years to legalize marijuana. •He helped write two early legalization initiatives. when most politicans were too scared to. ballot •He’s written dozens of articles, columns, and op pieces •He’s written dozens of articles, columns, and op edit edit politicans pieces calling calling •He was speaking out for legalization in public when most • Hefor helped write two early legalization ballot initiatives. an end of the war on marijuana users. for an end of the war on marijuana users. • He’s written dozens of articles, columns, and op edit pieces calling for an were too scared to. •He writes a marijuana column in •He writes aon marijuana column in the the Boulder Boulder Weekly. Weekly. end of the war marijuana users. •Heearly knows what he’s talking about when it to •He helped write• two legalization ballot initiatives. knows talking it comes comes to marijuana. marijuana. He•He knows whatwhat he’s he’s talking aboutabout whenwhen it comes to marijuana. •He’s written dozens of articles, columns, and op edit pieces Here’s where he stands on marijuana in Boulder County: Here’s where he stands on marijuana in Boulder County: calling Here’s where hemore stands on 66 marijuana inofBoulder County: In 2012 than percent Boulder County voters voted to for an end of the war on marijuana users. In 2012 more 66 percent of Boulder County voters to In 2012 more thanthan 66Colorado percent ofand Boulder County voters votedvoted to legalize legalize marijuana in “regulate it like alcohol”. legalize marijuana in Colorado and “regulate it like alcohol”. marijuana in Colorado and “regulate it like alcohol”. •He writes a marijuanaThe column in the Boulder Weekly. people of County voted for 64, people of Boulder Boulder County voted for Amendment Amendment 64, because, because, TheThe people of Boulder County voted for to Amendment 64, because, like like myself, they wanted to put an end the failed war on marijua•He knows what myself, he’s talking about when it comes to marijuana. likethey myself, they wanted to put an end to the failed war on marijuawanted to put an end to the failed war on marijuana, which has na, has resulted in the of more Coloradans na, which which resulted in than the arrest arrest of Coloradans more than than 210,000 210,000 Coloradans resulted in1986, the has arrest of more 210,000 sincemore 1986, has wasted since has wasted billions of tax dollars, and done to spread since 1986, has wasted billions of to taxspread dollars, and done tyranny, more to and spread Here’s where he billions stands on marijuana in more Boulder County: of tax dollars, and done repression, distrust, repression, tyranny, and distrust, American life –– and repression, tyranny, and distrust, through through American lifevoted andlifeto American life – and especially Black and Brown American – In 2012 more through than 66 percent of Boulder County voters especially Black and and Brown Brown American American life life –– than than anything anything in in a a century. century. thanespecially anything inBlack a century. When it comes to the people’s decision on marijuana, my legalize marijuana inWhen Colorado and “regulate it like alcohol”. When it comes to people’s the people’s decision on marijuana, my it comes to the decision on marijuana, my opponent – opponent –– who once voted to a marijuana dispensary opponent who once votedmarijuana to ban ban a medical medical marijuana dispensary The people ofwho Boulder County voted for Amendment 64, because, once voted to ban a medical dispensary in a place where county in place county zoning regulations said “a by in a aregulations place where where county zoning regulations said it it was was “a use use byconfused. said it was “a use by right” – is evidently dazed and like myself, they zoning wanted to put an end to the failed war on marijuaright” –– is dazed and confused. right” is Ievidently evidently and confused. If elected will seesee todazed itto that the decision of theofpeople to regulate marijuana If elected II will it that the decision to na, which has resulted in the arrest of more than 210,000 Coloradans If elected will see to it that the decision of the the people people to like alcohol, and quit treating marijuana users like lepers, is respected and regulate marijuana like alcohol, quit treating marijuana users regulate marijuana like dollars, alcohol, and and quitdone treating marijuana users implemented. since 1986, has wasted billions of tax and more to spread like lepers, is respected and implemented. —Paul Danish —Paul Danish like lepers, is respected and implemented. —Paul Danish

....................................................................... BOULDERGANIC:

Preserving land with plein art painting by Sarah Haas

....................................................................... ADVENTURE:

How relaxation and mindfulness are helping kids self regulate by Angela K. Evans

.......................................................................

repression, tyranny, and distrust, through American life – and Paul Danish for Commissioner. Elect Paul Danish life for –County County Commissioner. especially Black andElect Brown American than anything in a century. Local Theater Company’s new show Because Boulder County needs a second When it comes toBecause the people’s decision onneeds marijuana, my opinion. Boulder County a second opinion. ‘The Firestorm’ explores racism in opponent – who once voted ban medical marijuana Paid for byto Citizens for a Danish. Box 4522, Boulder, CO 80306.dispensary Bill Swenson Treasurer. America Paid for by Citizens for Danish. Box 4522, Boulder, CO 80306. Bill Swenson Treasurer. in a place where county zoning regulations said it was “a use by by Sarah Haas ....................................................................... right” – is evidently dazed and confused. ARTS & CULTURE: If elected I will see to it that the decision of the people to Josh Blue to perform in Boulder regulate marijuana like alcohol, and quit treating marijuana users by Zach Evens like lepers, is respected and implemented. —Paul Danish

BUZZLEAD:

....................................................................... NIBBLES:

Satisfy your cravings this week at Colorado’s only food film festival by John Lehndorff

Elect Paul Danish for County Commissioner. Because Boulder County needs a second opinion.

Paid for by Citizens for Danish. Box 4522, Boulder, CO 80306. Bill Swenson Treasurer.

.......................................................................

departments 5 THE HIGHROAD: A political party really worth joining 6 GUEST COLUMNS: The progressive and conservative arguments against Amendment 71 8 THE ANDERSON FILES: Our mirror image of ISIS 9 LETTERS: Signed, sealed, delivered, your views 11 NEWS: Boulder Weekly’s 2016 endorsements 33 OVERTONES: Luther Dickinson’s songbook 35 ARTS & CULTURE: Adventures in geography and gender 39 BOULDER COUNTY EVENTS: What to do and where to go 45 POETRY: by Barbara Crooker 46 SCREEN: ‘The Girl on the Train’ is gaslighting funnies; ‘The Accountant’ fails to add up 49 DEEP DISH: Busaba’s tom kha soup proves soup can stand alone 55 DRINK: Tour de Brew: West Flander’s Brewing Co. 61 ASTROLOGY: by Rob Brezsny 63 S AVAGE LOVE: Matching seniors; Surviving bipartisan relationships 65 WEED BETWEEN THE LINES: Your tax dollars at work 67 CANNABIS CORNER: Legalizing pot isn’t just about getting high 69 IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: An irreverent view of the world Boulder Weekly

October 20, 2016 3

COUNTY COMMISSIONERS SELL OUT CITIZEN SAFETY BEHIND CLOSED DOORS In October 2012, a petition signed by eighty-six (86) citizens was presented to the Boulder County Commissioners. The petition requested a public hearing on an expansion of the 4 ½ square mile area protected by Boulder County Resolution 80-52. The Resolution was enacted 35 years ago, and limits the discharge of firearms in densely populated neighborhoods. It does not affect Second Amendment rights, but does prohibit the discharge of firearms on the Federal lands interspersed in the community. The expansion would double the current 4 ½ square miles and facilitate enforcement by creating easily identifiable boundaries. Jefferson County has protected 90 square miles under the same legislation, Colorado Revised Statue 30-15-301, 302. In the spring of 2013, the requested hearing was imminent. The County asked if we needed “two or three hours?” Then, the County allowed Colorado Parks and Wildlife (CPW) to weigh in BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. CPW, an agency funded largely from the sale of hunting licenses, opposed the expansion. The Commissioners suddenly reversed their course of action. The Commissioners “killed” a hearing on an issue of public safety. When a rifle bullet can injure or kill a soft target at a distance of two miles – when the area under discussion is bookended by heavily recreated Open Space at Betasso Preserve and Sugarloaf Mountain – and when hunters stalk about on school mornings at the same time as kids are making their way to the bus stops – it’s a failure in leadership not to address public safety. The CPW has hundreds of thousands of square miles in Colorado in which to offer hunting. Nobody needs to hunt on the 9 square miles where we live and many other citizens recreate. And we, Boulder citizens, do not need Commissioners who pander to CPW at the expense of public safety.

Paid for by Colorado Advocates for Public Safety Anita Moss, President

staff

commentary

Publisher, Stewart Sallo Editor, Joel Dyer Associate Publisher, Fran Zankowski Director of Operations/Controller, Benecia Beyer Circulation Manager, Cal Winn EDITORIAL Senior Editor, Angela K. Evans Entertainment Editor, Amanda Moutinho Special Editions Editor, Caitlin Rockett Contributing Writers: Peter Alexander, Dave Anderson, Rob Brezsny, Michael J. Casey, Gavin Dahl, Paul Danish, James Dziezynski, Sarah Haas, Jim Hightower, Dave Kirby, Michael Krumholtz, Brian Palmer, Leland Rucker, Dan Savage, Alan Sculley, Ryan Syrek, Gregory Thorson, Christi Turner, Tom Winter, Gary Zeidner, Mollie Putzig, Mariah Taylor, Betsy Welch, Noël Phillips, Carolyn Oxley, Grant Stringer, Billy Singleton Interns: Claire Woodcock, Zach Evens SALES AND MARKETING Retail Sales Manager, Allen Carmichael Senior Account Executive, David Hasson Account Executive, Julian Bourke Market Development Manager, Kellie Robinson Inside Sales Representative, Jason Myers Mrs. Boulder Weekly, Mari Nevar PRODUCTION Production Manager, Dave Kirby Art Director, Susan France Graphic Designer, Mark Goodman Assistant to the Publisher Julia Sallo Office Manager/Advertising Assistant Becca Raccone CIRCULATION TEAM Dave Hastie, Dan Hill, George LaRoe, Jeffrey Lohrius, Elizabeth Ouslie, Rick Slama 16-Year-Old, Mia Rose Sallo

October 20, 2016 Volume XXIV, Number 11 As Boulder County's only independently owned newspaper, Boulder Weekly is dedicated to illuminating truth, advancing justice and protecting the First Amendment through ethical, no-holdsbarred journalism and thought-provoking opinion writing. Free every Thursday since 1993, the Weekly also offers the county's most comprehensive arts and entertainment coverage. Read the print version, or visit www.boulderweekly.com. Boulder Weekly does not accept unsolicited editorial submissions. If you're interested in writing for the paper, please send queries to: editorial@boulderweekly.com. Any materials sent to Boulder Weekly become the property of the newspaper. 690 South Lashley Lane, Boulder, CO, 80305 p 303.494.5511 f 303.494.2585 editorial@boulderweekly.com www.boulderweekly.com Printed on 100percent recycled paper with soybased ink.

Boulder Weekly welcomes your correspondence via email (letters@ boulderweekly.com) or the comments section of our website at www.boulderweekly.com. Preference will be given to short letters (under 300 words) that deal with recent stories or local issues, and letters may be edited for style, length and libel. Letters should include your name, address and telephone number for verification. We do not publish anonymous letters or those signed with pseudonyms. Letters become the property of Boulder Weekly and will be published on our website.

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the

Highroad A political party really worth joining by Jim Hightower

he best political party in America is not the Dems or the Repubs, but a real party named “Fighting Bob Fest.” It’s a daylong, outdoor political festival run by a coalition of Wisconsin progressives who believe in “putting the party back in politics.” Held in Madison every September, Bob Fest not only features give-’em-hell speechifying and hot populist issues — but also a dozen terrif-

ic food trucks, kegs of great local beers, lively music, activist booths, games, political humor and... well, fun! The idea is to have a political event that people actually want to come to. Admission is free, but Bob Fest is also corporate-free, rejecting any funding or ads by corporate interests. It’s a volunteer-run festival of, by and for regular people, and it pays for itself each year by passing the bucket and getting staff support from The Progressive, the feisty, populist-spirited magazine founded 107 years ago by Sen. Robert “Fighting Bob” La Follette. Yes, Fighting Bob Fest is named for La Follette, a truly-great U.S. Senator who was renowned for battling the corporate corruption of American politics. In fact, when he was Wisconsin’s governor a century ago, La Follette passed a law banning corporations from making donations to political candidates — a law that is still in effect.

For more information on Jim Hightower’s work — and to subscribe to his award-winning monthly newsletter, The Hightower Lowdown — visit www.jimhightower.com.

However, corporate interests today use front groups in a political ploy to bypass such bans and dump millions of dollars into their chosen candidates — including Wisconsin’s current governor. They’re mocking the law and the people. That’s the importance of bringing us mockees together in big events like Bob Fest — where 10,000 Wisconsinites gathered this year in the fighting spirit of La Follette, determined to stop the corporate governor’s cynical end run. To learn more about Fighting Bob Fest, go to www. FightingBobFest.org. This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly. October 20, 2016 5

guest column Inside the Trojan horse

The progressive argument against Amendment 71

by Russell Mendell

n an era of political deception it can be difficult to separate the genuine from the phony. One tried and true strategy to weed through campaign propaganda has always been to follow the money. The Colorado initiative that most demonstrates the need for the “money test” this election is Amendment 71, also known as Raise the Bar. If you haven’t read into the amendment, your first exposure might’ve been the barrage of television ads claiming 71 will “protect Colorado’s constitution from special interests.” This valiant yet vague assertion should cause you to pause and wonder who are these socalled constitutional guardians of Colorado. A dig into the latest reporting reveals that $3.75 million from a total of $4.16 million in contributions to Raise the Bar came from large corporate interests including, but not limited to, oil and gas, big ag, for-profit healthcare, banking and business lobbying groups like Colorado Concern. Talk about a situation with the foxes offering to guard the henhouse. The common thread between all these corporate lobbies is that they are terrified of progressive grassroots change

through the ballot box. That is why 71 attempts to shut down the right of initiative to everyone but the ultra-wealthy. It would require initiatives to get at least 2 percent of people from all 35 Colorado senate districts to sign, a prohibitively expensive task in an already expensive process. The new rules would also open the door for lawsuits from any senate district, allowing a conservative region to essentially veto an initiative through legal delays. By now you can start to see that the motives for proponents of Amendment 71 aren’t exactly pure, and a deeper dive further reveals the true masters of deceit behind Raise the Bar. So far, the lion share of pro-71 funding comes from the oil and gas industry. As of Oct. 3 they have contributed $3.1 million or just over 75 percent of the amendment’s funding. Most of the oil and gas money pouring in can be attributed to two Texas-based companies, Anadarko and Noble Energy. So why do these out-of-state special interests care so much about the Colorado constitution? It just so happens that Noble and Anadarko also funded most of the $20 million dollars to keep the Yes for Health and Safety Over Fracking initiatives off this November’s ballot. The two

Think freedom!

initiatives fell just short of reaching the nearly 100,000 validated signatures that would have allowed Coloradans to vote on increasing oil and gas setbacks and local control for fracking. While the grassroots effort for fracking safeguards recruited over 1,000, mostly volunteer, circulators, they were met with billboards, television ads and dozens of people paid to harass petitioners. The money Anadarko and Noble spent to keep Coloradans from voting on the initiatives was unprecedented for a statewide amendment. Independent polling done on the initiatives reveals their desperation. Both initiatives are very popular with Coloradans, with the setback initiative showing nearly double the support as opposition, with 57 percent in favor and just 30 percent against. This overwhelming support is not surprising given the numerous studies that show people living half a mile from a fracked well have increased rates of asthma, birth defects and other health impacts. The local control initiative has a deep-seated resonance with Colorado voters. From 2012 to 2013, Colorado voters made national news as five Front Range cities passed local bans or moratoria on fracking for oil and gas. These grassroots victories were then overturned by lawsuits brought by Gov. John Hickenlooper and the Colorado Oil and Gas Association. The battle over local democratic control on oil and gas came to a head earlier this year, when the

liberal groups like Common Cause. Amendment 71 is not Raising a The conservative argument against Amendment 71 Bar. It’s rigging a system. Anyone who says it’s too easy to change our state constitution has either never tried or is wildly wealthy. And anyone who compares our state constitution to the U.S. o you like the fact that Colorado politiConstitution is disingenuous, comparing apples and cians must ask us first before they raise oranges to shock voters. Colorado’s state constitution our taxes or debt? They sure don’t like it. is actually shorter than that of most other states. Our Taxpayer’s Bill of Rights Reforms that we want, but politicians hate, some(TABOR) only became law through our times need to be placed in the state constitution, so citizens’ initiative process. Amendment 71 destroys politicians can’t repeal them without a public vote that very process. from us, the people. Do you like that our elected officials are term Yes, it should be harder to amend the state conlimited? Are bound by ethics laws? Have to do their stitution than it is to change state statutes. work transparently? Can’t use tax money to fund Absolutely. But that can be done in a number of abortions? ways, like differentiating the number of signatures required between statutory and constitutional changNone of these reforms would have happened if es. There’s no need to destroy our right to petition Amendment 71 was in place. So, it’s no wonder the government. political establishment loves this proposed scheme. It Just how destructive is 71? So much so the propotakes away our power to rein them in. nents knew they couldn’t reach their own damn bar. They That’s also why 71 is opposed by diverse groups refused to write their measure so it would only take effect like Colorado Campaign for Life, the Colorado if they got the 55 percent super-majority of the public Union of Taxpayers, the Colorado Firearms vote, as their proposal would require of the rest of us. Association, the TABOR Committee, Tea Parties, But double standards for political insiders is GOP Parties, the Independence Institute and even

by Jon Caldara, President of the Independence Institute

6 October 20, 2016

Colorado Supreme Court stripped communities of their local bans. Because Gov. Hickenlooper is essentially a fracking advocate, the industry is much more concerned about grassroots democratic initiatives than any kind of legislative action. At the oil and gas conferences the governor frequents, there are numerous breakout sessions on how to deal with these constitutional amendments. With Amendment 71, they’ve conjured up a plan to appear like they are protecting a sacred document, when they are truly only concerned about protecting their own interests. If you vote for 71, you’ll be giving a helping hand to billionaire oil CEOs in their Texas mansions. You’ll also make Monsanto very happy, and the health insurance CEOs too. But you certainly won’t be protecting the constitution from special interests. They are the special interests and they are funding this ballot initiative. If 71 passes, only the obscenely rich will have access to the initiative process. Just like Citizens United did, this amendment will take power away from the people and consolidate it in the hands of the few. They know they can’t stop progressive change if they allow democracy to do its work. So they are taking extraordinary measures to stop your voice from being heard. They assume you’ll buy their propaganda and vote against your own best interest. Call their bluff; vote no on 71. This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly.

hardly new. Amendment 71 makes it nearly impossible to even get an amendment on the ballot in the first place. It requires us to gather most petition signatures in each of Colorado’s 35 far-flung senate districts. This has NEVER been done before, and is so expensive it may never be done. Even the proponents of 71 refuse to prove they’ve done it, because they haven’t. Amendment 71 is an invitation for legal mayhem. Imagine the 35 different sets of lawsuits, at least one for each senate district, over any proposed amendment — a heyday for lawyers. Amendment 71 permits the people in one area of the state to hold the whole state hostage. Should the people in Boulder stop a reform the rest of the state demands because it’s virtually impossible to get enough valid signatures there? It’s crucial to know that 71 came out of a wellfunded effort to destroy TABOR, “Build a Better Colorado.” If passed it would be impossible to strengthen TABOR, because it would require a super-majority vote. But under 71 they can repeal TABOR with a simple majority vote. You read that right. Don’t Rig the Bar. Vote no. Think freedom. This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly. Boulder Weekly

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BOULDER COUNTY COMMISSIONER • DIST. 2 It’s been a privilege to serve the people of Boulder County for the last four years — but there’s a lot left to do!

Continuing flood recovery efforts. Addressing the need for affordable housing. Reducing and preparing for the effects of climate change. Increasing inclusivity and diversity on County Boards and in elected offices. Reducing overcrowding at the Boulder County jail.

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Stephanie Walton, Lafayette Council Chuck Sisk, RTD Director, District O Chris Leh, Louisville Council Ashley Stolzmann, Louisville Council Joan Peck, Longmont Council Polly Christensen, Longmont Council Lisa Morzel, Boulder Council Sam Weaver, Boulder Council Bob Yates, Boulder Council Cindy Domenico, Boulder Co. Comr. Elise Jones, Boulder Co. Comr. Jerry Roberts, Boulder Co. Assessor Paul Weissmann, Boulder Co. Treasurer Judy Lubow, RTD Director, District I

Senator Mark Udall David Skaggs, US Congressman Jean Dubofsky, CO Supreme Court Justice St. Rep. Claire Levy St. Rep. Alice Madden St. Rep. Ruth Wright Comr. Josie Heath Linda Jourgensen, Boulder Co. Comr., Mayor of Boulder Boulder Co. Sheriff George Epp Chief Justice Michael Enwall Chris Berry, Mayor of Lafayette Caroline Cutler, Mayor of Lafayette Julie Van Domelen, Mayor of Lyons John O’Brien, Mayor of Lyons Joe Gierlach, Mayor of Nederland Leslie Durgin, Mayor of Boulder Robin Bohannan, Boulder Council Tim Plass, Boulder Council Bev Sears, Boulder Council Dennis McCloskey, Broomfield Council Dan Benavidez, Longmont Council Mary Blue, Longmont Council Sarah Levison, Longmont Council COMMUNITY LEADERS:

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the anderson files Our mirror image of ISIS by Dave Anderson

his election year has been so peculiar that it is easy to overlook some unusual events. At the United Nations, a prominent official lambasted a U.S. major party presidential nominee and he was in turn told to shut up by the Russian ambassador to the U.N. In September, Prince Zeid Ra’ad Al Hussein, the U.N. high commissioner for human rights, gave a speech attacking Donald Trump and the leaders of ethno-nationalist far right parties of Europe. Zeid denounced the racial and religious bigoted language of Trump, Geert Wilders (the Dutch politician who has promised to close mosques and ban the Koran if elected), Viktor Orban (the Hungarian prime minister), Marine Le Pen (the far-right candidate for president of France) and Nigel Farage, (who led the Brexit campaign in the U.K.). The prince said the rhetoric of these politicians is a mirror image of the xenophobic Islamic State terrorists. “All seek in varying degrees to recover a past, halcyon and so pure in form, where sunlit fields are settled by peoples united by ethnicity or religion — living peacefully in isolation, pilots of their fate, free of crime, foreign influence and war,” he said. “A past that most certainly, in reality, did not exist anywhere, ever.” Zeid, who is a member of the Jordanian royal family born to a

Swedish mother, also remarked: “I am a Muslim, who is, confusingly to racists, also white-skinned; whose mother is European and father, Arab.” Zeid first referred to Trump as a threat in April during an address to the Case Western Reserve University School of Law in Cleveland. “Less than 150 miles away from where I speak, a front-running candidate to be president of this country declared, just a few months ago, his enthusiastic support for torture,” the human rights chief said. “We have heard hateful slander of foreigners, and multiple candidates declaring their support for extensive and intrusive surveillance of people based on their religious beliefs — vast and discriminatory systems to single out and discriminate against Muslims.” “We have seen a full-frontal attack — disguised as courageous taboo-busting,” he added, “on some fundamental, hard-won tenets of decency and social cohesion that have come to be accepted by American society.” In response to Zeid’s remarks, Russia’s ambassador to the U.N., Vitaly Churkin, delivered a démarche — a form of diplomatic protest — to Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon last month. “Prince Zeid is overstepping his limits from time to time and we’re unhappy about it,” he said. An unnamed senior U.N. diplomat told The Associated Press that Churkin spesee THE ANDERSON FILES Page 9

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cifically “condemned the fact that Zeid mentioned Trump.” What’s going on? Relations between the U.S. and Russia have rapidly deteriorated due to a number of issues such as competing military operations in Syria, disagreements about Eastern European independence and charges of computer hacking. The U.S. government has officially accused the Russian government of meddling in the election. Vladimir Putin has suddenly walked away from an agreement on the disposal of weapons-grade plutonium, has deployed sophisticated anti-aircraft weapons to Syria and redeployed longrange ballistic missiles to Russia’s Baltic enclave of Kaliningrad. New Yorker Moscow correspondent Joshua Yaffa reported October 14 on a pumped-up war hysteria in Russia: “A viewer of Russian television this week could be forgiven for thinking that the end of the world was imminent, and that it would arrive in the form of grand superpower war with the United States, culminating in a suicidal exchange of nuclear weapons.” One day, there were three separate test firings of intercontinental ballistic missiles broadcast on state media. On another TV channel under effective state control, a story was aired on emergency preparedness that included a tour of a Cold War-era bomb shelter, fortified in case of atomic war, and a

mention of city loudspeakers that will sound upon the arrival of “Hour X.” The New York Times reports that recently the Russian government conducted civil defense exercises involving about 40 million people including 200,000 rescue workers and 50,000 specialized vehicles. What’s going on? Russian journalist Alexander Golts told Yaffa that “Russia entered into this new Cold War without the resources the Soviet Union once had. But what does Russia have? It has nuclear weapons. So it must constantly convince the United States, and the West as a whole, that it is a little crazy.” Yaffa and New York Times correspondent Neil MacFarquhar suggest that Putin is creating new facts on the ground in Syria and the Baltics before the next U.S. president is sworn into office. We are living in an increasingly multi-polar world where U.S. power is being challenged. After Putin massively intervened in Syria, he met with leaders of Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, Qatar, Bahrain, Turkey and Israel. If Trump becomes president, he will soon find out that Putin’s first priority is to Make Russia Great Again. If Trump finds out that Putin thinks he’s sort of a doofus, he might nuke Moscow. This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly.

letters Short and sweet

Please endorse Hillary Clinton. Thank you. Sally Hart/Englewood, CO

Thanks for not endorsing Bennett

Thank you for recommending Arn Menconi for Colorado’s next senator against Michael Bennet. I have delivered letters to Senator Bennet monthly for 17 months now urging him to support liberal legislation and oppose the TPP. He almost always votes with the Republicans with his votes for the Patriot Act, NDAA, the Keystone Pipeline and the TPP Fast Track, to mention a few. He has just now said he can’t support the TPP unless it is changed, knowing full well that the Fast Track won’t allow it to be changed. He even opposes Amendment 69, universal health care, which would benefit us all. Boulder Weekly

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765 E South Boulder Rd Louisville (720) 890-5837 • www.salonnove.com Arn, on the other hand, opposes the TPP, supports Amendment 69, and pledges to actually work for the people of Colorado as an “activist” senator. He puts his money where his mouth is and has supported his own candidacy, unlike Bennet who takes big money from oil and gas. He travels the state putting his message out there and supporting us. Yes, he is our best choice and one I am proud to make. Laura Avant/Denver

Vote for Paul Danish

I hope every Boulder County voter will visit www.danishforcommissioner. com before choosing our next County Commissioner. Paul Danish has experience at the job and has been living in the county since 1947. He has been both a Democrat and a Republican and see LETTERS Page 10

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was the author of managed growth in Boulder in the 1970s. As you drive along the hundreds of miles of roads in Boulder County, contemplate the following: Is it sustainable or efficient to sit in traffic? Does starting your day and ending your day stressed out build a sense of community for workers and students? Are potholes simply a nuisance for someone in a car, but life or death to a biker? The population of Boulder County has increased by 25,000 since 2011. With no slow down in sight, another 25,000 people will likely join us by 2020. Paul Danish has a robust plan to maintain, repair and upgrade our county roads for bikes and cars, students and taxpayers. Paul Danish will focus on roads and other local issues using the taxes that the county currently collects. He is an open-minded, can-do candidate, and best of all, none of his family members gets substantial funding from our government. Please vote for Danish for commissioner. Jeannine Harrington/Boulder

Let’s re-elect Deb Gardner and Elise Jones

During the past four years, Commissioner Elise Jones and Commissioner Deb Gardner have taken on tough issues facing Boulder County. They have acted fairly, with a vision for the county and a sound practical sense of balancing the budget and getting things done. Often, I see them out in the county, listening to many different voices, looking for common ground on challenging issues. They understand that they must represent the greater good, not just listen to the loudest voices for special interests. They each bring a unique background to this role, Deb as a former state legislator and accountant, Elise as the director of a statewide environmental nonprofit. They have used their experience on our behalf, whether it was stepping up to the enormous challenges of the flood or supporting a compassionate and inclusive human services plan. During the eight years I served as Boulder County Commissioner, I saw how challenging this position can be. Both Deb and Elise have proven themselves to be extraordinary and visionary leaders. They have integrity. We are fortunate to have them working on our behalf. Join me in re-electing them to serve us for another term. Josie Heath/Boulder

Ballot issue 302: Raising Barriers to Democracy

In this time of disaffection with government and the political process, populist ideas and candidates like Donald Trump are getting traction with promises of making broken things great again with illusory solutions. Issue 302 fits that mold. What exactly is the problem that 302 seeks to fix? Issue 302 is like the barriers to voting set up in some states, ostensibly established to solve a nonexistent problem of voter fraud, but really intended to deny voters access to the essence of democracy — the right to vote. Issue 302 would take away our right to vote for the candidates of our choosing while pretending to address purported problems with incumbency. However, we are not suffering from incumbency stasis. Election statistics reaching back almost 50 years, as illustrated in Richard Valenty’s June 24th Blue Line article indicate plenty of City Council membership turnover, and fairly high election success rates for first time candidates. What will 302 accomplish? Issue 302 is a lifetime and retroactive limit, an extreme and radical level of restriction far beyond Colorado’s own state law. Like those aforementioned voting barriers, 302 will suppress ethnic and racial diversity on Council. Only rarely are minorities elected to our Council. When we are lucky enough to get a minority Council member who is highly valued by voters for the perspective they bring to Council and especially valued by our minority communities for the sensitivity they bring to governance, we should be able to keep them on the Council as long as they’re willing to stay. But under 302, that Council member would be term limited, forever. That disenfranchises voters who are already politically marginalized. Another “problem” cited by proponents is the experience incumbents bring gives them unfair advantages in elections. But consider this: Maybe Boulder is the desirable place it is today because of the experience and wisdom of previous City Councils. Issue 302 will deny voters the right to choose that experience. We already have term limits. It‘s called VOTING. Just last year voters turned out an incumbent and replaced him with a first time candidate. Open Boulder, the organization behind the ballot initiative, seeks to become the self-appointed gatekeeper to our democracy by limiting your candidate choices. Be pro choice — vote NO on 302! Leonard May/Boulder Boulder Weekly

Boulder Weekly’s endorsements The following are Boulder Weekly’s 2016 endorsements for each national, state and local race and initiative that appear on Boulder County ballots. For our full analysis of the races and issues, please see our 2016 Vote Guide, available online at boulderweekly.com/new/2016-vote-guide n Presidential Election: Hillary Clinton/Tim Kaine (D) United States Senator: Arn Menconi (Green Party) n Representative to the 115th United States Congress — District 2: We’re leaving it up to you n Representative to the 115th United States Congress – District 4: Bob Seay (D) n Regent for the University of Colorado — At Large: Alice Madden (D) n Regent of the University of Colorado — Congressional District 4: Bob Owens (D) n State Senator — District 17: Matt Jones (D) (uncontested) n State Senator — District 18: Stephen Fenberg (D) n State Representative — District 10: We’re leaving it up to you n State Representative — District 11: Jonathan Singer (D) n State Representative — District 12: Mike Foote (D) n State Representative — District 13: We’re leaving it up to you n State Representative — District 33: We’re leaving it up to you n District Attorney — 20th Judicial District: Stan Garnett (uncontested) n Regional Transportation District Director — District I: Judy Lubow n County Commissioner — District 1: Elise Jones (D) n County Commissioner — District 2: Deb Gardner (D) n Town of Superior — Trustee We chose five candidates whose civic service and experience made them qualified choices. You choose three. Anthony Stewart; Gladys Forshee; Mark Lacis; Patricia E. Dunham; Sandie Hammerly n Colorado Supreme Court Judge Retention Justice William Hood: Retain n Colorado Court of Appeals Judge Retention Judge Karen M. Ashby: Retain Judge Michael H. Berger: Retain Judge Steven L. Bernard: Retain Judge Stephanie E. Dunn: Retain Judge David Furman: Retain Judge Robert D. Hawthorne: Retain Judge Jerry N. Jones: Retain Judge Anthony J. Navarro: Retain Boulder Weekly

Judge Gilbert M. Román: Retain Judge Diana Terry: Retain n 20th Judicial District Judge Retention Judge Andrew Hartman: Retain Judge Bruce Langer: Retain n State Ballot Initiatives Amendment T: Yes Amendment U: Yes Amendment 69: Yes Amendment 70 : Yes Amendment 71: No Amendment 72: No Proposition 106: Yes Proposition 107: Yes Proposition 108: No n Boulder County Initiatives County Issue 1A: Yes County Issue 1B: Yes County Issue 1C: Yes County Question 1D: Yes n Boulder Ballot Initiatives Ballot Issue 2H: No Ballot Question 2I: Yes Ballot Question 2J: Yes Ballot Question 302: No n Lafayette Ballot Initiatives Ballot Issue NO. 2C: Yes Ballot Issue NO. 2D: No Ballot Question No. 2E: Yes Ballot Question No. 2F: Yes

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For Boulder County Commissioner • District 1

EXPERIENCED LEADERSHIP FOR BOULDER COUNTY ELISE IS PROUD TO BE ENDORSED BY: Conservation Colorado • Sierra Club • Boulder Daily Camera Longmont Times-Call • PLAN-Boulder County • Boulder Weekly • Congressman Jared Polis • District Attorney Stan Garnett • Sheriff Joe Pelle • State lawmakers Dickey Lee Hullinghorst, Rollie Heath, Matt Jones, KC Becker, Mike Foote, Jonathan Singer & Dianne Primavera • Former U.S. Senator Mark Udall & Maggie Fox • Former County Commissioners Josie Heath & Will Toor • Former lawmakers Ruth Wright, Dorothy Rupert, Alice Madden & Claire Levy • State legislative candidates Steve Fenberg & Edie Hooton • Boulder County Mayors: Dennis Coombs, Suzanne Jones, Bob Muckle, Christine Berg, Clint Folsom, Tara Schoedinger, Kris Larsen, Connie Sullivan, Tina Harris

• Louisville City Council member Ashley Stolzmann • Boulder City Council members Mary Young, Matt Appelbaum, Lisa Morzel, Sam Weaver, Andrew Shoemaker, Aaron Brockett, Jan Burton, & Bob Yates • Longmont City Council members Polly Christensen & Joan Peck • Lafayette City Council members Gustavo Reyna & Stephanie Walton • Former elected officials Susan Osborne, Dan Benavidez, Crystal Gray, Tim Plass, Macon Cowles, Spense Havlick, Bev Sears, Françoise Poinsatte, Andy Schultheiss, Leslie Durgin, Joe Gierlach & John O’Brien • Community leaders Lee Shainis, Carmen Ramirez, Elvira Ramos, Hunter Lovins, Brenda Lyle, Leslie Glustrom, Shari Malloy, Waylon Lewis and many more

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October 20, 2016 11

news Embarrassed to be an

American A Diary of my Presidential Campaign

by Sparrow

Sparrow is a self-taught visual artist, pianist and chef — but has a masters degree in “creative writing.” He recently joined a Bhagavad-Gita study group (but he may quit). He lives in a doublewide trailer in Phoenicia, New York with his wife Violet Snow. How to Survive the Coming Collapse of Civilization is his forthcoming book from The Operating System. He is currently running for President for the seventh time. April 30, 2015 I’m not sure I want to be *President. Perhaps I have grown disillusioned. In fact, roughly 16 times in my life I have been disillusioned. But each time, almost immediately, I have swiftly become re-illusioned. May 3 I miss those terror alerts under the last Bush administration. It seemed like every day there was a new color to designate our collective level of fear. I’m going to call my new party the Red Alert Party — to bring back the mild hysteria of the early 2000s, but also to emphasize that there is a crisis. May 9 In this country we live individually but sleep collectively, and in our dreams we meet others as equals, work together and share pleasures. Sleep is the oldest form of socialism. Let the other candidates run for the waking Presidency. My goal is to govern the world while everyone is asleep, to rule the Nation of Dreams. June 2 In the 19th century the U.S.A. seized one-third of Mexico but not one inch of Canada. The Canadians (who were not yet called “Canadians”) beat us back. Never forget that. June 6 Where is Al Gore in this election cycle? Probably he’s drifted to a fur12 October 20, 2016

nished room in downtown Nashville, where he’s writing (on a typewriter) a long novel about global warming that will never be published. Another tragic loss to American political life. June 7 Today, in the Port Authority Bus Terminal in New York City, I was filling up my bottle at a water fountain when a

homeless woman came up behind me. “I’m sorry,” I said to her, because the bottle was filling slowly. “Every time I get here, you’re ahead of me!” she replied, chuckling. Because I wear thrift-shop clothes, have a scraggly beard, and carry scuffed bags, she had mistaken me for another vagabond. Even homeless people think I’m homeless. June 9 This is the first election in which transgender and post-gender voters will be a significant factor. At my parents’ house on Sunday I heard an interview with South Carolina senator Lindsey Graham, who has just entered the race. He was asked his opinion of transgen-

der celebrity Caitlyn Jenner, and his reply was that he hoped Caitlyn Jenner would vote for him. And he’s a Republican! To those who have switched genders or are genderless, I say: Join my crusade! Together we will fashion a new America, unburdened by outmoded theories of “opposite” sexes clad in pink and blue. We will become beings. June 11 The last time I was in New York City, my daughter and I ate at a Thai restaurant with lots of mirrors and outdoor seating, like a Parisian cafe. The young maître d’ wore a peace sign around his neck. Three days later I’m still recalling that peace sign. Without saying a word, this bearded fellow in a pretentious eatery expressed the sentiment that war is evil and useless. I’d thought I was sick of the peace sign, that cheap, once-ubiquitous hippie symbol. But this young soul revived its meaning for me. June 12 Logically there should be three houses in Washington, D.C.: the Red House, the White House and the Blue House — and within them, three Presidents. The Red states elect one, the Blue states another and all the states together elect the third. Why has no one else thought of this? June 14 Most American-studies textbooks should be reclassified as “historical fiction.” June 15 People sometimes say, “He’s richer than God,” but no one ever says, “He’s richer than Jesus” — because everyone is richer than Jesus. At his death, Jesus’ wealth consisted of one robe. June 17 I am conducting my Presidential campaign in part over Twitter (if, indeed, I am campaigning; I haven’t decided yet). Here is one of my tweets: “It’s a hoax: no one can be as stupid as Donald Trump pretends to be.” In case you’re reading this in the 25th century: Donald Trump is a 69-year-old, bullying, clownish, impulsive, racist, headline-grabbing billionaire from Queens (a borough of New York City) who has decided, for the second time, to run for President. Sometimes called “The Donald,” this plutocrat is best known for (1) naming numerous

ugly high-rise buildings after himself, (2) owning casinos, (3) being the author of The Art of the Deal, a self-help guide for would-be billionaires, (4) wearing an absurd fake-looking blond hairdo, (5) starring in a reality TV show called The Apprentice (in which his catchphrase is “You’re fired!”), and (6) having a series of attractive wives who seem quietly contemptuous of him. June 19 Last December I went to a Black Lives Matter demonstration in Washington Square Park. Eric Garner, a 43-year-old Staten Island man, had been killed by the police for selling loose cigarettes — although on the day he was killed, he hadn’t been selling them. A policeman stopped him, the two men struggled, and the cop put Garner in a chokehold. Though Garner cried out, “I can’t breathe!” the officer continued to choke him, and Garner died. A grand jury decided no crime had been committed. The officer, Daniel Pantaleo, would not go to trial. That was the reason for our protest. The crowd was large, diverse and energetic despite the cold December day. I was surprised how many mildmannered young hipsters had come with handmade signs. Most amazing was the sense of racial unity. Whites and blacks stood bravely together as they rarely have in my lifetime. I sat on a bench some distance from the main rally, eating my lunch next to the sign I’d made: RACISM HURTS US ALL. A young black woman with a child took my photograph, then said, “Thank you.” I had tears in my eyes. June 26 I dream my wife, Violet, and I are driving through a post-apocalyptic landscape in a station wagon. Our plan is to reach a deserted military base, where we hope to find food and supplies. Other cars are stopped in front of us, and we slow to a halt. Suddenly someone opens the back of the station wagon and passes a small child to me. I take the boy, who is about seven and frightened. A black man in his thirties crawls in after him. The space in the back of the car is so tight that our faces are almost pressed together. I’m a little afraid. “You hate me, don’t you?” the man asks. “No,” I reply, genuinely surprised. He smiles. I awaken in my pre-apocalyptic bedroom. Even in my dreams I’m struggling with racism. Boulder Weekly

news July 3 My wife and I recently celebrated our 26th anniversary. What’s our secret of marital success? Separate blankets. I sleep under seven layers, even in summer, whereas Violet needs only one or two blankets, even in the Catskills winter. Having separate blankets means we don’t steal the covers from each other at 3 a.m. Few other couples have discovered this arrangement, which is why the divorce rate in the U.S is so high. As President I will offer marital counseling to my fellow citizens, appended to my speeches on tariff reform. July 5 Everyone has faith that time is uniform and predictable, unspooling with an absolute regularity, measurable by any clock. When I am President, I will bend time, squeeze time, form time into figure eights. I will prove, indisputably, that time is a hoax. July 7 Yesterday I walked outside with my wife. “The Saint-John’s-wort is flowering,” Violet remarked. She had planted some in the garden: a spindly plant with delicate yellow flowers. “Wasn’t Saint-John’s-wort a fad a few years ago?” I asked. “Yes, it’s supposed to cure depression.” That’s it! For my healthcare reform I will offer all Americans Saint-John’swort. It’s a weed that grows freely, so there’s enough for all. A little sprig in boiling water is all one needs. Most likely the tea will have no effect, but it can’t hurt, and the gesture of imbibing a weed is health-producing in itself. July 15 Capitalism is the opposite of love. It’s a system that says: “No one is truly selfless. People must be rewarded, or they will do nothing.” Suppose there were another way, a social order governed by love. Let’s call it “amorism.” (Amor means “love” in Spanish.) In this system you become prominent not by swindling others but by loving the most. The more kindness you show, the higher your social status. Amorism has never been tried, perhaps because we’ve been tricked into believing the “free market” is the only feasible system. But one day we’ll discover that capitalism, for all its cynical certainties, is quite brittle. And the opposite of brittleness is love. July 27 I have a theory that the word God is actually the beginning of a word that continues endlessly, like the mathematical value pi. Boulder Weekly

July 31 I am the only Presidential candidate to demand the release of the prisoners of war from the War on Drugs. August 1 I used to run for President as a clown, but the Republicans now have that covered. So my new plan is to run as a sage. August 2 An expert on MSNBC says, “The polls show that Americans don’t like any of these candidates. There is a reaction against the ‘political class.’” This could be my big chance! August 9 I watched the Republican debates three days ago. Ten candidates were arrayed in a semicircle, all of them pledging to return America to its former greatness. Personally I am delighted that America is no longer great. If elected, I will gently nudge our nation toward a mildly befuddled humility. August 17 Americans smile entirely too much. It’s painful to see people who haven’t been happy in years grinning maddeningly in the aisles of Target, like robots programmed to display a simulacrum of joy. When I am Chief Executive, I will set a better example, staring into the camera day after day without facial falsity. And I will invite other frowners to the White House: botanists, junkies, ranch hands, jazz musicians. August 25 Yesterday, walking to the hardware store, I passed a flag I had never seen before. It was an American flag, but on the edge was written in big black letters: PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN — as if no ordinary American flag conveyed that triumphal message. This flag infuriated me. (I am easily offended politically.) I decided to manufacture a series of flags with these messages: EMBARRASSED TO BE AN AMERICAN BEWILDERED TO BE AN AMERICAN ASTONISHED TO BE AN AMERICAN TOO POOR TO BE AN AMERICAN. August 26 Donald Trump wants to build a wall along our border with Mexico. Has anyone explained the Mexican-American War to him? The southwest portion of our nation was stolen from our neighbor. In other words, Trump wants to build a wall between Mexico and Mexico.

August 28 Today I was interviewed for a program on WBAI, a progressive nonprofit radio station in New York City. My friend Jack Shalom, who conducted the interview, slyly said: “I know you have run for President in the last six elections. Perhaps you have an announcement for our listeners today?” I wasn’t expecting this. In a moment of reckless abandon I announced my candidacy for President of the United States. Immediately I feared I’d made a mistake. This is the drawback of meddling with the media — you get excited by the attention and blurt out spontaneous nonsense. September 2 I sometimes earn extra income by writing bumper stickers such as WHO WILL BURY THE LAST BEE or FREE RANGE, GRASS-FED HIPPIE. I would write the bumper sticker DONALD TRUMP FOR DICTATOR, but too many people wouldn’t know it was a joke. September 4 Bernie Sanders, the U.S. senator from Vermont who announced his candidacy with little fanfare four months ago, has become a serious challenger for the Democratic nomination. Moses said: “I set before you today a blessing and a curse.” Clearly this was a prophecy about Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump. September 6 Why have a President, Trump’s supporters think, when you can have a CEO? The Donald promises action unencumbered by debate and compromise. After all, a CEO is closer to a feudal lord than to an elected official. If he wants to build a 2,000-mile wall between the U.S.A. and Mexico, he issues the order and his workers act. It’s bold, it’s efficient, it’s moderately insane. But it’s the opposite of gridlock. September 7 I received an e-mail from Jack Shalom informing me that my interview will air this Thursday. I have three more days until I am publicly in the Presidential race. For the time being I’m still an undercover candidate. People always ask me: “Why are you running if you don’t want votes?” There’s a lot more to a campaign than a few melancholy electoral affirmations. There are torchlight parades, antiracism carnivals, quilting bees. I run for the pageantry, not to convince a couple of lonely weirdos to pull a lever with my name on it. September 9 Here’s a new idea: I’ll start the Selfie Party. Instead of voting for me, sympa-

thetic citizens will just take a selfie with me. This could revolutionize our democracy. I’ll lose the election but win on social media, where it really counts. September 10 In ancient Ireland bards were spiritual leaders. If today’s Presidents were chosen for their poetic skills, I’d probably win. I occasionally write a pretty good poem, such as: A Paradox Birds fear me though I’ve never hurt one. September 19 I’m not a pacifist — I don’t oppose every war — but I am against the vast majority of state-sponsored bloodbaths. In 1967 I was against only one war, the war in Vietnam. (I was 13 years old.) Over time I have come to oppose many wars, some of which occurred 1,200 years ago — for example, Charlemagne’s conquest of Lombardy. I am also against future conflicts, such as all the wars of the 37th century. September 20 I never drink alcohol, for two reasons: I don’t like the taste, and it makes me woozy. But I sense disapproval whenever I mention this. Once, the USA had Prohibition; now we have its opposite: the social pressure to drink a beer. It’s time for a new temperance movement: a coalition of 12-steppers, Muslims, born-again Christians, straight-edge punks, yogis and ordinary people who happen to dislike alcohol. We’re not against Budweiser; we just demand our right to sip seltzer without feeling antisocial. We may not drink, but we can still dance in a frenzy, tell dirty jokes, strip off our clothes. Our slogan will be: “You don’t have to get drunk to act nuts!” October 3 The more security guards I see, the more insecure I feel. October 7 People often think my Presidential campaign is a joke. In fact, it’s the one serious thing I do. Every four years I write what I believe with as much clarity as I can. And what do I believe about the USA? That we are an empire, which means we see the world as a diorama to construct. Most of us made dioramas in third grade. We would begin with a shoebox and transform it into a small room — perhaps a log cabin circa 1839. We’d make a bed out of Play-Doh, and a desk out of a little wooden block. For a protagonist, we might set out a Lego person. Our nation rearranges the world See DIARY Page 14

October 20, 2016 13

DIARY from Page 13

as if it were a diorama: we invade Afghanistan, build air bases in Scotland, spread McDonald’s to the four corners of the earth. But our diorama is drenched in blood — real human blood, not the blood of Lego people. October 12 Why is Bernie so successful? Because prolonged exposure to Donald Trump has transformed 40 percent of Democrats into socialists. October 20 Abraham Lincoln’s position on slavery is difficult for us to understand today. Lincoln, a Republican, personally hated the “peculiar institution,” but he didn’t want to abolish it, or force slave masters to be more humane, or even make it easier for slaves to buy their freedom. The Republicans had only one demand: that slavery not extend into the new western territories. This doctrine seems absurdly limited, yet it is the position of today’s liberals toward prisons. America has the largest prison population of any nation — around 2.2 million, with black men more than six times as likely as white men to be incarcerated. Is there a movement to abolish prisons? Yes, a movement with about 122 members. Most progressives simply oppose new prisons being built. Meanwhile many Republicans wish to put more people behind bars. Is this disagreement enough to start a new Civil War? Probably not. But the Civil War itself was largely unforeseen. November 13 On May 25, 1961, President John F. Kennedy announced the start of the Space Race, an epic endeavor to put a man on the moon before the Soviets. It’s time our nation united again around a single goal. On my first day as President I will announce the “Inner Space Race”: a battle to achieve Total Cosmic Illumination faster than other nations. I guarantee that an American will be the first to attain true enlightenment — as certified by the Dalai Lama — through a strenuous regime of meditation, fasting, prayer, tantric study and alternate-nostril breathing. November 24 Donald Trump says he wouldn’t rule out a database of Muslims in the USA. I say we keep a watch list of billionaires, in case they are all as xenophobic and screwy as Trump. December 3 Some have complained about the number of Republicans running, but not me. I want even more Republican candidates. I’d like to see a debate among 141 right-wing creationists in blue suits. Meanwhile membership in the Republican Party is in decline. The 14 October 20, 2016

fewer Republicans there are in America, the more Republican candidates we get. By 2166 the Republican Party will be all candidates. December 22 Donald Trump is like an aging man you meet at a bus stop and aimlessly begin conversing with. Then, to your horror, he makes increasingly malicious remarks about Saudi Arabians, gays and Puerto Ricans. You can’t stop him; you’re afraid to disagree with him; you’re in a kind of purgatory, desperately hoping the bus will come. This is the most popular Republican in America. December 30 Thank God there are no trillionaires! December 31 I’m teaching myself to drop a glass, then catch it before it hits the ground. This will give me the dexterity I’ll need for the Presidency. January 5, 2016 In my lifetime, Americans have directed their hatred at many different “others”: the “gooks” in Korea, the “Reds” in America (and also in the Soviet Union), the “gooks” in Vietnam, the Ayatollah Khomeini, Manuel Noriega, Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein — and now immigrants and Muslims. There have been about four years since my birth without a national villain — and that’s not counting white Americans’ enduring hostility toward African Americans. And what’s the cause of it all? Selfhatred. Trump lovers, who are all ultimately immigrants, now direct their immense anger toward immigrants. This is, by definition, self-hatred. Our nation needs a sensitive and comforting therapist. In the absence of such a professional, I will have to suffice. January 9 At first Donald Trump was funny; it was possible to see him as intentionally absurd. His profuse improvisations had a comedic rhythm. “I’m a builder; I know how to build walls,” he said, contemplating the massive wall he promises to erect between Mexico and our land. But after the ISIS attacks in Paris and San Bernardino, he wants a “total and complete” ban on Muslims entering our country, and wouldn’t rule out internment camps like those used against Japanese Americans in World War II. I should have known that fascism would come to America in the guise of stand-up comedy. January 10 Dear Mr. Trump: Must we build a wall between our nation and Mexico? It seems so paranoid. How about a 2,000-mile-long window instead?

Idealistically, Sparrow January 18 I have a new economic innovation for my Presidential campaign: The “Drop the Zero” plan. It’s quite simple. We will divide all economic transactions by 10; in other words, drop the final zero. Instead of an apartment costing $1,500 a month, it will cost $150. A loaf of bread will cost 32 cents. (Of course, your paycheck will be $62 instead of $620.) For about five years everything you buy will seem unbelievably cheap. The world will feel more manageable. Nothing will change, yet everything will change. Pennies will be useful again. Workers will strike for another five cents an hour. Harvard tuition will cost $5,000 a year. A comic book will be 20 cents. We’ll all feel like we’ve stepped back into 1951. January 25 Once I’m President, I will redesign the Great Seal of the United States, replacing the eagle with a sparrow. I know it’s narcissistic, but, believe me, you need a little narcissism to run for the highest office in the land. Besides, the eagle has been bad news for the USA This predatory bird has inspired two centuries of unnecessary wars. With the innocent sparrow as our mascot, our karma will change. America will radiate chirpy peacefulness. February 10 Last night Bernie Sanders beat Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire. It was delightful. I support Bernie, though our two campaigns are quite different. He is speaking to the general public; I am speaking to you, the quiet but capable reader. He is formulating policy; I am articulating high fantasy. Both approaches are necessary to remake America. February 15 Tonight I walked in a snowstorm to my poetry class and back. Snow covered everything except the river. When snow falls into the Esopus, it stops being snow. The river reminds snowflakes that they’re really water. February 16 Political Question: Conservatives love the past. Progressives love the future. But who loves the present? February 17 In my lifetime the Republicans have gone from the silent majority to the insane minority. February 25 Americans hate government bureaucracy so much, they’ve replaced it with the world’s most intricate and madden-

ing bureaucracy-for-profit: the insurance industry. February 28 I am the only candidate concerned about illegal emigration. Thousands — perhaps tens of thousands — of Americans are wandering around Costa Rica and Portugal without proper visas. Who knows what kind of havoc they’re causing? March 2 Ted Cruz accused Donald Trump of having “New York values.” In his usual evasive way, Trump responded by describing the heroism of New Yorkers after 9/11. I am the only candidate to declare: “I have nothing but New York values!” I believe in sitting in a subway car with infants, slouching teenagers, octogenarians, Chinese, Japanese, Koreans, Mexicans, Colombians, Ecuadoreans, Puerto Ricans, Dominicans — some legal, some illegal, some eating pizza, some reading The New York Times — all of us speeding through the Stygian darkness of a deep Brooklyn tunnel. March 15 It feels like American democracy is going into extra innings. March 21 Will Donald Trump start a race war? It’s not impossible. His followers have guns. Already audiences at his rallies have grown to resemble angry mobs, shoving and sometimes punching Black Lives Matter activists. Suppose a Trump lover brings a gun? An argument escalates, and an activist gets shot. Maybe next time, the protesters bring guns. The prelude to the Civil War began in 1854 after the Kansas-Nebraska Act called for a popular vote to decide whether Kansas should be a slave state. Violence broke out between armed slavery advocates and abolitionists. An election can spark a war. March 22 After another shooting, Right and Left agree that we need better mentalhealth services in this country. And we could easily train every police officer to be a therapist — probably for free. (Psychotherapists would volunteer to educate the police force.) But Americans don’t want compassionate cops; they want the iron fist. March 23 Non-President Like all Americans (except one) I am a non-President. March 27 How did Donald Trump stumble into pure American fascism? My guess is that it began with the slogan “Make See DIARY Page 16

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news DIARY from Page 14

America Great Again,” which unleashes imperial impulses. That’s why my slogan is “Make America Inconspicuous.” March 30 Hillary’s nomination is looking inevitable. Now just one woman (who happens to be under investigation by the FBI) stands between us and a charismatic dictator. It’s like living in Germany in 1932. March 31 I visited my friend Emory Cranston yesterday. “We have to decide where to live if Trump is elected President,” he said. Emory was leaning toward Iceland: “I had a friend who lived there for several months. He said it was like paradise. All people do is have sex and drink. Plus everyone is a published poet!” A nation of poets seems more like hell to me. April 2 Those ’60s leftists were wrong: one can be part of the problem and part of the solution. Take me, for example. April 3 As the patriarchy is dying, it thrashes about like a wounded rat. That thrashing is the Trump campaign. April 4 Ted Cruz was on Fox News last night, being interviewed by Megyn Kelly, a sworn enemy of Donald Trump. Together they were plotting the destruction of the egotistical billionaire. In reference to the malicious tweets Trump sends out, Cruz explained, “When Trump is feeling insecure late at night, he attacks someone. For some reason he’s particularly threatened by strong women; I don’t know why.” Cruz, a vicious, shifty-eyed totalitarian himself, came off as a compassionate psychiatrist. April 6 My campaign is a satire of satire. April 13 I love New York City; it’s my birthplace and still my favorite town to visit. For decades it’s been an axiom that no New Yorker could be President — we’re too different from most Americans, too much like Europeans, always searching out art galleries and cafes and mixedmedia performance art staged in Chinatown basements. None of us longs for the American Dream of a house and a lawn and a swimming pool. We have the Parisian Dream of a meaningful life surrounded by swarms of strangers. Yet, of the four front-runners in this election, two are from the city of New York, and one, Hillary, is from a nearby 16 October 20, 2016

suburb. Both of the “angry insurgents” grew up in the five boroughs. Bernie’s from Brooklyn; Trump, from Queens. In fact, I see this election as a battle between Brooklyn and Queens. Brooklyn still has a proletarian vibe; it’s a borough of workers. Queens, with its private homes and driveways, has a touch of the bourgeois. In Brooklyn one awaits the revolution; in Queens one dreams of owning a carwash. April 19 Today is the New York primary. I finally have the chance to vote for Bernie. I love Bernie and the hope that he offers, but his hectoring, moral superiority and humorlessness annoy me. As a stand-up comedian I saw said: “Bernie always seems to be giving a speech outside the university that just fired him.” April 21 Trump is constantly astonished by his own good fortune. He is clearly having the most fun of any candidate — including me. May 3 Today I performed at a rock club in Bushwick with the band Mobile Steam Unit. The band’s members and I met a couple of months ago at a benefit for Syrian refugees, and I am now their “guest poet,” reading my poems over two of their songs. In the break between sets I was supposed to give a Presidential speech, but I forgot. Here’s what I’d planned to say: I know a lot of you think Hillary is the Antichrist, but vote for her anyway. If Trump wins, three years from now I will meet you in a prison camp in Arizona — along with thirty thousand Muslims and every member of the Black Lives Matter movement — and you’ll say to me, “You were right: I should’ve voted Democratic.” May 6 In this country we have abolished the class system. Everyone in America is middle-class. Billionaires are middleclass people with a lot of money; the homeless are middle-class people with nowhere to live. May 12 I recently calculated that I have spent 20 solid months of my life in meditation. (That’s one hour a day times 41 years.) This alone qualifies me to be President. May 21 We had a mild winter, and now a cool spring. Clearly the global-warming future will be one long, indeterminate season — springsummerfallwinter —

with occasional deadly catastrophes. May 29 Now that humans have wrecked the weather, what else can we ruin? Gravity? Time? June 2 It’s pretty certain now who the nominees on both sides will be. Though Bernie’s supporters believe they’ve been cheated, Hillary seems unstoppable. And Trump has just plain won the Republican battle. But the two contenders have not yet squared off. Clinton is largely invisible while Trump is ubiquitous. Americans today are like heroin addicts who need the kick of Trump’s bullying quips to feel truly alive. “Politics as usual” bores us. We’d rather build a useless 2,000-mile wall than struggle with poverty, global warming, the perilous state of our schools, the longest wars in our history. June 6 In this country most of us are taught the evils of communism from a young age. And communism has had its share of failures. But everyone is a communist deep inside. Politeness is communism. Kindness is communism. Waiting in line is communism. Giving up your seat on the bus to an aged woman is communism. Sending money to the March of Dimes is communism. If the human race did not practice communism, it would not have survived. June 10 A fisherman sits on a dock fishing while a 10-year-old boy watches. After two hours the man turns to the boy and asks, “Do you ever fish?” “No,” the boy replies. “Why not?” “I don’t have the time.” For me, pursuing the Presidency is like watching a fisherman: Mostly you sit, daydream, gaze upon a lake, without even the responsibility of holding a fishing pole. June 13 The largest mass shooting in American history occurred yesterday. A former security guard named Omar Mateen shot 102 people at Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida. Fortynine died. No one I spoke to today mentioned it. Everyone has “terrorism fatigue.” There’s nothing more to say. Walking through the West Village, however, I came upon a vigil in front of Judson Memorial Church: More than two dozen people stood on the steps singing “We Shall Overcome.” Others gathered in the street — which was blocked off — watching or singing along.

I became one of those street singers. I enjoyed intoning “We Shall Overcome,” but what exactly were we overcoming? Getting shot by angry zealots? Living in a world full of hatred? The beauty of the civil rights movement was the clarity of its goals: to end segregation in the South and allow blacks to vote. Now the world is tied up in a complex knot that no one can even imagine untying. June 17 The media has rallied around Pulse, and gay nightclubs in general. “These people were just going out to have a good time, and they were brutally murdered,” a blond newscaster on Fox News said. Suddenly, dancing at a gay nightclub is as American as joining the Boy Scouts. “That’s what makes America great,” a Republican congressman explained on CNN, “that we accept every type of person.” The subtext was: We’re not a bunch of bigots, like the Muslims. June 30 The more valuable currency is, the less amusing it can be. A nickel is funny; a stock portfolio deeply humorless. July 4 George W. Bush claimed to practice “compassionate conservatism.” Now Trump has invented “compassionate fascism”: He loves Mexicans; he just wants to deport them. He loves Muslims; he’ll just send them to prison camps. July 17 Trump is ahead in the polls! Hillary Clinton was accused of perjury by the House Oversight Committee, which has pushed the “poor little rich kid” into the lead. I may need an exit strategy. As absurd as it sounds, this diary might one day constitute a criminal act. (Dear reader: If you are reading this while Trump is President, please burn this newspaper immediately.) July 26 I was at a meeting of the antinuclear movement in 1980 when an elderly woman stood up and announced that if Ronald Reagan were elected President, the world would end. A chill ran through the room. Reagan was elected, and the world — as you may have noticed — still exists. What about Trump? Is he a Mussolini-in-training? A secret liberal pretending to be a billionaire reactionary? A self-deluded egomaniac with no politics at all? The potential Trump Presidency is unknowable, like God. My Boulder Weekly

news Presidency, however, is predictable. It will resemble this journal. August 7 Everyone everywhere is speculating about Trump. He’s become an obsessive public mystery, like O.J. Simpson once was — and perhaps still is. Will he drop out of the race? Will he win the Presidential election and quit the next day? Is he a fascist or a narcissistic opportunist? (And is there a difference between a fascist and a narcissistic opportunist?) August 8 The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe has been gentrified out of her neighborhood. Her house was replaced by a high-rise boot. August 13 To the French, America means “land of bitterness,” because amer means “sour, bitter.” August 17 The Quakers would have liked Facebook, because they called everyone “friend.” August 21 Our economic system is always changing. Even this sentence is slightly altering capitalism. This election offers a clear choice between an inveterate liar and a guy so stupid he has no idea whether or not he’s lying. August 25 New slogan: “Delete The Elite!” August 27 I have slowly descended from the lower middle class to the lowest middle class. September 3 I call Washington, Jefferson, Adams, Hamilton and Franklin the “Foundling Fathers” because they were like infants deposited at birth on an orphanage’s doorstep — dispossessed children without parents, forced to create an identity without guidance. September 5 Strange fact: Both Presidential candidates are on Social Security. September 8 Do only insane guys become billionaires, or does being a billionaire drive you crazy? September 10 Life has plot twists, but very few — maybe three to a lifetime. But this election has more plot twists than a 1995 Batman movie. Mr. Trump is stabbed in the back, given up for dead, buried in the cemetery, then at midnight, there’s a sudden knock at the door — he’s back! Trump lumbers through the doorway, holding in his hand the severed head of Bill Clinton. September 15 Thanks to global warming, I feel Boulder Weekly

guilty each time I exhale. I’m adding carbon dioxide to the atmosphere — destroying the world! September 16 I’m mentally preparing myself for a Trump Presidency. It’s becoming more and more possible: some polls show him ahead. Here’s how I’m preparing: (1) I must renew my passport. Probably we’ll move to Canada, but — if my wife agrees — I’d prefer Costa Rica or Sri Lanka. (2) Or should I stay, and fight the rise of fascism? Will there be a race war? Which side will I be on? Undoubtedly the black side — which will hopefully include Latinos. Will I get shot? If so, I hope it will just be a flesh wound. (When I was a kid, cowboys were constantly getting shot on TV shows. Their girlfriends would be concerned, but the stoic cowboys would reassure them: “It’s just a flesh wound.” This phrase seems to have died out. Flesh wounds were generally in the shoulder.) (3) Will our billionaire CEOin-Chief start a nuclear war? If so, I should drink more miso soup, which protects against radiation. (4) Or will Trump just be another harmless boob like Reagan? (Or rather harmful, but not apocalyptic.) Will he paradoxically improve the economy? Is there some way I can get rich? September 22 Yesterday in Charlotte, North Carolina, police shot an innocent black man who was sitting in his car reading a book. Wild riots broke out, shots were fired by protesters and one of the protesters died. One policeman was injured. It’s starting to feel like the fall of Rome: Enemies within and without, spreading chaos. And Trump is just the sort of vacuous, preening emperor who helmed Rome in its final years. September 29 Sometimes my failings are new, but often I make ancient mistakes. October 7 Trump is like a bomb waiting to explode and destroy American democracy. (There are whispers that the Russians might hack into our voting machines on November 8, and steal the election for their good friend Donald.) We may be able to defuse the bomb just in time this year, but the bomb will remain, ticking. Our Constitution is fragile, endangered; the Statue of Liberty is weeping. *Although Boulder Weekly usually doesn’t capitalize the word president when it stands alone, Sparrow tole The Sun Magazine he only runs for the “capital-P Presidency.” Portions of this piece previously appeared in the October 2016 edition of The Sun Magazine.

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Boulder Weekly

THE CURATION OF DISCOVERY: PART 3

news

by Rico Moore This week’s serialized installment of “The curation of discovery” deals with not only the discovery and curation of the Mahaffy Cache now on display at the CU Museum of Natural History, but also the history of Native American people. Go to http://tinyurl.com/zjynyvu to read “The curation of discovery” from the beginning.

Cache/Artifact/Element: “The Chief Niwot Forum:” Ernest House, Jr., John and Roger Echohawk

was fortunate to attend the Chief Niwot Forum which featured a talk by Ernest House, Jr., the executive director of the Colorado Commission of Indian Affairs titled, “Searching for Truth and Reconciliation; The Colorado Example.” House spoke eloquently of the history of Native Americans in this region, with particular focus on the tribes’ relations with United Courtesy of NARF States government entities. The focus of his talk was primarily to educate people on the complex, ancient and integral role of Native American people who live within the boundaries of what is now called Colorado. House spent much of his time speaking of his own people, the Ute Mountain Tribe — their history, longevity, culture, their evolution into a wealthy tribal nation John Echohawk, and cultural resource for executive director of Ancient History. He spoke as the Native American Rights Fund an integral bridge between cultures in the position of a government liaison. He also spoke of the Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act, or NAGPRA, which was enacted on November 16, 1990 to address the rights of lineal Native American peoples to their cultural items, including human remains, funerary objects, sacred objects and objects of cultural patrimony. The Act was largely the result of work by Boulder’s Native American Rights Fund (NARF). House noted that, “Most American people are ignorant about Indian issues.” He started his PowerPoint presentation with a list of the 45 Native American tribes that have a demonstrated connection to the present geographical boundaries of the state of Colorado. I am apparently like most Americans as I too was unaware of the great diversity and number of Native American tribes who have a deep relationship to what is now called Colorado. This history is largely unknown to many people outside of those Native American communities. Because of this ignorance, willful or otherwise, the real history of Colorado, ancient to modern, remains unknown. This is why House encouraged the audience to build relationships between cultures and communities, to bring people together in a harmonious way through understanding, education, openness and respect, Boulder Weekly

patience and humility, honesty. It’s clear we need to heal our relationship with the ancient history of this place. He remarked of the Native American people of Boulder Valley, who once in great numbers and diversity, called what is now called the Boulder Valley, home. They may “no longer reside here but have always resided here in their minds and hearts,” he remarked. House noted that Boulder County’s history includes the 3rd Calvary, which trained north of Valmont Butte east of Boulder. The 3rd Calvary was part of a contingent of U.S. soldiers and civilians who attacked peaceful Arapaho and Cheyenne People camped under the American flag of truce at Sand Creek, Colorado in 1864 — massacring hundreds of children, elders, women and men in unfathomably brutal ways. He spoke of this historical trauma as something that “Colorado needs to heal from too. Sand Creek is still living.” Healing the historical trauma of the Sand Creek Massacre and other such atrocities, means integrating the full history of this region into our collective consciousness. That is, ancient Native American history did not begin here with the Gold Rush as the curators of the Mahaffy Cache would suggest, but rather at some time before what is called the Mahaffy Cache was interred some 13,000 years ago. The Mahaffy Cache is a collection of 86 stoned tools discovered by a landscaper named Romero on the property of a wealthy pharmaceutical company owner in Boulder. It is currently on exhibit at the CU Museum of Natural History. Clearly the people who buried these Clovis-period tools evolved in a complex way over several millennia leading up to the days of the Gold Rush, and the subsequent genocide committed upon them. All of that history is as critical to understanding what it means to belong to this place as anything that occurred at the hands of European immigrants, to those immigrants themselves, or unfolded as history in Europe. In this way, history becomes itself a living being that changes over time as we come to know it more fully and completely. By acknowledging all of history, we can belong more fully to this place. It is also the case that our ways of knowing the past have much to learn from Indigenous peoples. Oral literature is an area of scholarship that could, and I believe will, inform this region of our large swath of presently unknown history. The complexity of House’s message cannot be overstated. It feels as if to move forward — to survive as a culture — we must all heal from the reality of our cultural inheritance. And by doing so, bring fully into our cultural reality and narratives, the ancient history

of Native America, and Native Americans respectively. We must not simply interpret history in ways that exclude or segregate the Native American perspectives or that culture’s ways of understanding reality, history. Instead, we should co-create and join in equitable conversations about the history of this hemisphere, our collective present and the future. We must allow our cultural narratives to evolve. After the House event, I spoke with John Echohawk, executive director of NARF in Boulder. I let him know I was working on an article about the discovery of the Mahaffy Cache and asked his thoughts on the cache in general and his history with Native American remains, burial goods and artifacts. I told him I was particularly interested in how historical links from those artifacts to present Indigenous peoples aren’t recognized and that I wondered what that implied. How does the interpretation of history impact the present condition and understanding of Indigenous people? I was hoping John would be interested in offering his insight into how we can best interpret discoveries of ancient human inhabitation in the present context of Indigenous life in this region. “Well,” John said, “Ernest [House, Jr.] talked about the list of the 45 tribes. You can bet that those artifacts 13,000 years ago — that some of those tribes would, through research and connections, be able to piece that together.” John was asserting that if the 45 tribes mentioned by House were to be consulted regarding the nature and contents of the Mahaffy cache, they could likely determine its meaning — the reality of its history, which is currently a mystery to anthropologists and archaeologists. “So, in terms of doing that work,” I asked, “Would it be something that would be through oral literature and talking with people who were there?” “Yes, some of the elders,” John said, “looking at some of the artifacts and matching them up with some of the knowledge they have now, and matching that with what they do and what they know, could piece that together. It’s not my field. I’m a lawyer, but it’s our stuff.” I was struck by the directness with which his last phrase rang. So clearly to him, the artifacts belonged to Native American people and by including tribes in the interpretation of the discovery, what was unknown to science could be illuminated. He noted that a definitive story about the history of the artifacts in the so-called Mahaffy cache could be told if only tribes were consulted. Roger Echo-Hawk, an ancient historian and John’s cousin, seems to have been the only Native American consultant to the CU Museum of Natural History’s exhibit featuring the Mahaffy Cache, according to CU Museum Director, Patrick Kociolek. When I finally spoke with Roger, I became convinced that these tribes would certainly be able to offer insight into the Cache and help to create a richer dialogue than was presently on offer. To read the rest of “The curation of discovery: Part 3,” please go to our website at boulderweekly.com. October 20, 2016 19

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by Sarah Haas

n estimated 5.2 million people will visit Boulder County Open Space and Mountain Parks (OSMP) this year. The land is famous for inspiring Boulder residents to spend time outside and is credited with shaping not only the character of our place, but also of our culture. But aside from this utilitarian inspiration, lies a rich history of a more poetic sort. Since humans have lived in Boulder Valley, artists, both ancient and contemporary, have recorded not only the land they see, but the land as they want it to be. In more recent times, their canvases have preserved a sort of record of the community vision of Open Space and Public Land. There is a critical connection between preservation and culture, one that Boulder County OSMP has worked into its mission since 2007, when the general superintendent of Golden Gate Park, Brian O’Neill, came to Boulder as part of a national campaign to incorporate communities into civic preservation efforts. “When people care for something,” he says, “they want to protect it.” Although it was the first time the connection between culture and preservation made its way into OSMP’s mission statement, the idea was not new. The preservation of public lands in Boulder County dates back to 1898 when a group of citizens purchased alfalfa fields and apple orchards at the foot of the Flatirons, now known as Chautauqua Park, establishing the tradition of civic stewardship of public lands in the area. Decades later, in 1964, citizens organized in protest against a planned development of a luxury hotel

on Enchanted Mesa convincing City Council to condemn the land and force its sale. Activists raised small donations from the community until they reached the purchase price and secured it as open space. Although people don’t always agree, the sentiment that open-space stewardship is a public duty has proven durable over time. To foster that connection and to better understand the community’s vision, OSMP has created a partnership program that invites people to protect the land in two ways: through land management projects and through art. Running or hiking through the land, recreational users might not notice the plein air painters standing at their easels, working in the centuries long tradition of the French impressionists who insisted on painting in the open air. Standing in one place for hours, these artists are granted a unique perspective of the land and activity around them, capturing fleeting moments on their canvases. A comprehensive look at their work and collective vision is on display at the annual Outdoor Creations Plein Air Art Show displaying 90 works created on Boulder County OSMP lands by 40 Boulder-area artists. Molly Davis, plein air painter, juror for the exhibit and member of the Board of Trustees for OSMP says the art is crucial to land management efforts for both its aesthetic and visionary contributions. Vividly, Davis recounts visiting some of her favorite creek-side painting locations in the days and weeks following the 2013 floods. “I setup my canvas and saw how immediately the landscape had changed the character of our urban space lands,” she says.

Not all changes are so dramatic and in that subtlety they risk being overlooked. In her more than 30 years of plein air painting in Boulder County, Davis has witnessed the changing impacts of recreational use of public spaces. “The impacts of the volumes of the people using the space has changed tremendously,” she says. “The impacts of larger numbers of people using the land creates an excitement in the landscape, but it also affects ecologies and wildlife quite a bit. I see less wildlife on open spaces anywhere near corridors where there are humans.” At this year’s Outdoor Creations exhibition, vibrant activity makes its way onto the canvases, with an abundance of color popping off the canvases in easy and loose brushstrokes. Davis thinks this is because it was an unusually hot summer that brought more activity to the land around the painters. But also because plein air painters have to endure conditions and it is then, she says, that you become particularly grateful to have a paintbrush in your hand and that joy carries through to the painting. In preserving over 100,000 acres of land, OSMP is creating the opportunity for a community to not only enjoy the land, but to continue the tradition of community stewardship. “From a land managers point of view,” Davis says, “the artist’s perspective is extremely valuable because at times we can get bogged down in the details of taking care of the landscape and not see the broader perspective of how it contributes to vision of the community.”

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eco-briefs

BY BOULDER WEEKLY STAFF

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Hundreds of bison are removed every year from the Yellowstone area in what land managers say is an effort to protect Montana’s cattle industry from disease and to keep the population around 3,000-3,500 bison. The management activities are controversial, as they include herding the animals with helicopters, hunting, using bait and capture facilities and loading buffalo away for slaughter. The Buffalo Field Campaign (BFC) is a nonprofit organization that works to protect the bison in the area around and in Yellowstone National Park by protecting their natural habitats, documenting the removal of the animals from the park and ensuring the safety of the bison by watching them daily. On Oct. 22 at Rembrandt Yard Art Gallery (1301 Spruce St., Boulder), the second annual Wild ‘N Free Gala and Art Auction will benefit the BFC. The event will feature artwork and photography, a short film designed to highlight the struggles of bison Courtesy of BFC/Ric Kessler and a talk by Mike Mease, co-founder of the BFC. The BFC fights to protect the bison native to the North American Great Plains, and they have requested that the Yellowstone bison be listed under the Endangered Species Act. Furthermore, they have called for a revision of the bison management plan, first conducting a population study to determine the next steps for the bison. Pending the revision, the BFC has asked that the capture, killing and removal of bison be stopped. — Zach Evens

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Boulder Weekly

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Boulder Weekly

ADVENTURE

All photos courtesy of Dee Marie

The yoga lady

How relaxation and mindfulness are helping kids self regulate by Angela K. Evans

ften, someone will stop Dee Marie on the street in Boulder and say, “Hey, you were the yoga lady at my [school]. I still remember to breathe when I get tense. I still remember the things we learned.” As the founder of CALMING KIDS (CK): Creating a NonViolent World, Dee Marie has been teaching yoga in Boulder Valley schools for more than a decade. Centered around the Sanskrit word ahimsa, which she translates as “non-violence towards self and others,” her curriculum is part of a national effort to combat violence in schools. October is designated Stop America’s Violence Everywhere (SAVE) month by American Medical Association (AMA) Alliance. Started in 1995, AMA Alliance members have implemented more than 700 SAVE projects around Boulder Weekly

slowly) that we can relax,” Dee Marie says. the country. CALMING KIDS yoga “The schools just need As the SAVE reprehelps kids process their relaxation. Everybody sentative for the state of emotions and create an opportunity to improve needs the ability to Colorado, Dee Marie, a their dialoguing skills. focus, relax, come into long-time member of the their center to help AMA Alliance, started them in all aspects of their life. With CALMING KIDS in 2004 in response children, it’s to help them with test takto a growing concern with the increasing ing and their anxiety as well as their number of school shootings taking place communication with each other on the around the country. playground. And with the teachers, it’s “We did four years of study to prove to help them with the bureaucracy and that if we teach in the schools, we can to keep going day after day in an envidecrease violence and help children with ronment that is very demanding.” relaxation and self-regulation,” she says. A large part of the SAVE campaign First Dee Marie trained teachers in is combating bullying in schools. the curriculum, but it quickly expanded to teaching the school staff how to prac- According to DoSomething.org, approxtice the same principles of relaxation and imately 3.2 million students are victims of bullying each year and 17 percent self-regulation, as well as conducting report being bullied two to three times a classes for the kids with the goal “to try month or more. Bullying can lead to to create the new paradigm in the schools which is (she inhales and exhales kids skipping school and even dropping

out. Moreover, 71 percent of students report that bullying is a problem in their schools and 67 percent say their school doesn’t handle bullying effectively. With CALMING KIDS, Dee Marie hopes to change these statistics by equipping kids with personal and relational skills through the practice of mindfulness. “It’s deep program in a child-like and fun way,” she says. “We’re going after some deep concepts here — how we breathe and how we think affects how we act and how we feel.” In addition to the physical aspects of yoga, the CALMING KIDS curriculum includes practical role play so the kids can practice dialoguing what they would do in certain situations. The program allows the kids to think about potential situations and how to react to them. “What do you do in this situation? Is it appropriate to walk away? Is it appropriate to say something? Is it appropriate to tell the teacher? It’s really important to understand the three choices and when to use them,” Dee Marie says. Other questions she asks the kids are: “How can I have a compassionate heart? How can I find calmness even though you’re being mean to me? How can I stand up to you and know it’s not see YOGA Page 26

October 20 , 2016 25

Courtesy of Dee Marie

ADVENTURE

YOGA from Page 25

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about me, it’s about you? Where are you coming from? Where is the other person coming from? Is it good for the community is, it good for you? What are the repercussions going to be?” These are big questions for all of us, especially kids. But that doesn’t deter Dee Marie from asking them anyway. And, as her research shows, it’s working. “What we found was that not only did we help the kids that were targeted, the bullied, rise, but the bullies relaxed and started to understand what they were doing,” she says. “... We empower the targeted, we relax and bring some consciousness to the bullies and then we get the bystanders to show up. Bystanders have to chime in and talk, not just sit back and watch or laugh.” Dee Marie knows from personal experience just how rehabilitative and freeing these principles can be. In the early ’80s she was a professional dancer in New York City, performing mostly modern jazz and theatrical dances. But one snowy night, the cab she was getting into was hit by a truck. “I was told I would never walk again and I definitely never would dance again,” she says. “[But] I rehabilitated myself through many techniques and the best of them all was yoga therapy.” Fully recovered from the accident, Dee Marie had found a new passion. She went on to study at the Himalayan Institute of Yoga Science and Philosophy in Pennsylvania and became a certified yoga therapist in 1986. For the last 25 years, Dee Marie has been in Boulder working with people of all ages and abilities, teaching yoga and offering yoga therapy to people with brain injuries, kids with disabilities and others. Dee Marie first implemented the CALMING KIDS program in Boulder Valley schools, but it quickly expanded into Summit County, Denver, Arvada and most recently Jefferson County. And it’s spread internationally as well. Dee Marie has developed an extensive train-

ing curriculum bringing educaDee Marie leads a class tors from of students at Mexico, Heatherwood Elementary in Colombia, Boulder. Puerto Rico and Palestine, among others, to train in Boulder. “My mission is to get yoga to everybody and anybody,” she says. “Yoga is not a system of exercise. In classical yoga we do movement in order to get our body comfortable. We do yoga in order to regulate our breathing. We do mindful meditation and concentrations to focus the mind. In classical yoga, we look at our communication skills and how we’re appearing to the community.” She’s also written several activity workbooks for children to accompany her classes, the first of which, “Yoga Keeps Me Calm, Fit and Focused” has been translated into multiple languages, and they are being used in schools Mexico, Central America, Saudi Arabia and Palestine. “The more we get the body, the breathing, the mind in a calmer, more loving and more released place within themselves, the more they can handle anything that is happening in the outer world,” she says. “Negative confrontation will come to us no matter what age we are. It’s understanding just how to have a compassionate heart and the compassion that you can give to others whether they are your friend or enemy.” Dee Marie says the goal is to make the ideas behind CALMING KIDS mainstream by 2020, hopefully decreasing violence in schools both here and around the world. “I’ve devoted my life to it and I feel like I make this much (she depicts about an inch with her fingers) of a difference considering where it’s going,” she says. “It’s scary, we watch the media and the type of movies that are coming out, and what they are teaching the kids is to pick up a gun and shoot. So I feel like I have so much work to do.” Boulder Weekly

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buzz

Courtesy of Local Theater Company

identity

{

Local Theater Company’s new show ‘The Firestorm’ explores racism in America

Boulder Weekly

by Sarah Haas

One ever feels his twoness — an American, a Negro; two souls, two

Iona Leighton in The Firestorm.

}

thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body,

whose strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder.” — W.E.B. Du Bois, The Souls of Black Folk see IDENTITY Page 30

October 20, 2016 29

IDENTITY from Page 29

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Printed just above the opening line of The Firestorm, a Past productions of The Firestorm sought to play up new play by Meridith Friedman, the words of Du Bois the affability of the dialogue by setting it in hyper realisare the sentiment that lies just beneath the surface. tic kitchens and office scenes, but Local Theater Topically this is a timely play about politics and racial Company chose a more streamlined and atmospheric tensions in America, but substantially it is about the approach, freeing the script from a time or place. timelessness of the tension of the “twoness” within us all. In its entirety, the set consists of four sleek and unas“Identity is a conflict between who you think you are, suming modular pieces. In between scenes, they are artwho you want to be, what other people see, what you fully rearranged in dance-like interludes orchestrated to want them to see, what you don’t want them to see and the jazz of Nina Simone to suggest an office desk or what happens when they see the thing you don’t want kitchen table. Emphasized with minimal props and mostthem to see,” Friedman says. “When they see the thing ly devoid of detail, the exact interpretation is left to the you don’t want them to see — that is intimacy and, for imagination of the viewer. me at least, that’s when something really beautiful hap“I made a very conscious effort to make it feel both pens.” very present, in a 2016 interCourtesy of Local Theater Company On the surface, The pretation, and like it could Firestorm is a story about a exist anytime in the last 12 white man with humble roots years,” Rudnick says. “I pared running for governor in Ohio it down so that most of it is ON THE BILL: The Firestorm — presented by and newly wed to a well-to-do left to the audience’s own Local Theater Company. black lawyer. Together, the emotional reaction to the topThe Dairy Arts Center, 2590 two are crafting the beginics that are commented on. Walnut St., Boulder, 303440-7826. Through Nov. 13. nings of their political identity Whatever the audience’s viewand marriage. point is and whatever they Beyond the political story come in with, I want them to is a more universal one about feel like it is present for them, demons hidden in deeply burnow.” ied secrets. As a younger man, The sparseness of the set the governor-to-be tried to highlights the worldliness of join a fraternity and, as a part the inner lives of the political of rushing the house, painted elite. Rather than being “Go Home Nigger” on the broadcast as spectacle, the door of a black student in his play reveals their lives as ordicollege. He never told anynary. With blank sets, all body, including his wife, focus is on the actor as she because he knew it was wrong eats cold pizza out of the box but never took steps to deal after a long day or as, with or amend the transgresmoments later, she spits it sion. Twenty years later his from her mouth in an angry political career and marriage outburst. hang in the balance. Down to the details, the Each character is caught play reveals the humanity and between their many overlapvulnerability that exists in the ping identities. In the difficulspace between who we strive to be and who we really are. ty of trying to reconcile these In order to write such complex characters and reladifferent selves, each grapples tionships, Friedman had to look behind black and white, with the evasiveness of claimrich and poor, and start asking questions in hopes of ing a unified and “real” self. Timothy McCracken and undermining such labels. Before she started to write the The play is set in the Jada Suzanne play, she spent four months interviewing people like adviround, giving 360 degree Dixon in The Firestorm. sors from Obama’s 2008 campaign and interracial couples. views of these personal and When she finally started to create the script, she private conversations that found herself writing characters that were nothing like gnaw at the most biting and her. For a moment, she doubted whether she, a well-edutender topics of race and love. cated white woman, was the right person to tell this story The added intimacy of this about racial identity in America. production decision heightens the visceral feel of the She admitted that she would never be able to truly action as it unfolds and makes the viewers feel implicit in understand someone else’s experience, but ultimately the drama. decided that the act of trying to understand was not only “I wanted us to be aware of each other in the audiinteresting but important. ence,” says Artistic Director Pesha Rudnick. “I wanted to “Today, as a 21st century American, to be accused of strip away some of the theatrics that would take away anything like racism is a super scary charge and somefrom hearing the language of this play — to distill it.” thing that you want to reactively push as far away from Unfolding loosely in two-person scenes, the language is offered up as nothing more than “kitchen table” conver- yourself as possible,” Friedman says. “But what I found sation between lovers or coworkers. It is powerful because just after that moment of discomfort was a far richer conversation that happens only when you confront your own it is simple. It feels familiar, as if the actors on stage are giving life to unspoken thoughts lingering in the minds of ignorance and judgments of other people and actually try to understand where they come from.” Americans across the country. Boulder Weekly

Thanks to our Sponsors!

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October 20, 2016 31

overtones Luther Dickinson’s songbook

The famed guitarist opens up about recording all casual-like

UPCOMING AT eTOWN HALL

by Dave Kirby

Courtesy of Luther Dickinson

t’d be a mistake to regard Luther Dickinson’s Blues & Ballads — A Folksinger’s Songbook: Volumes I & II as a career retrospective, even if, at 43, the Mississippi-bred guitarist has enough music in his head to make one, and even if he’s sliding into middle age and mid-career, usually an opportune time to take stock. The songbook tradition is a vivid one for Dickinson and his family — simple books of artwork accompanying lyrics and transcriptions of traditional music — and Dickinson is a guy, despite his success as the firebrand slide guitarist for the North Mississippi Allstars and for a time a Black Crowe, who has made celebrating and interpreting his own musical DNA his life’s mission. elegantly serpentine electric slide. The songbook itself — available So the thing is not really a greatest only with the vinyl edition of the hits package and the songs themselves 21-song album of the same name — are mostly Dickinson’s, so it’s neither a was the goal of the project, he told collection of traditional songs as such. Boulder Weekly recently. But it’s a window into how “The inspiration for the project was Dickinson, by way of song choice and the concept of the songbook, and when shirtsleeve recording sessions, hears it came to the music, himself and hears his re-recording some of own influences. And ON THE BILL: Luther Dickinson (of North my favorite songs in a tucked in there are bits Mississippi Allstars) & Rich manner befitting a folk of his long association Robinson. Friday, Oct. 21, song,” Dickinson with the likes of Otha 8:30 p.m. Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, explains. “But, there Turner and R.L. 303-447-0095. Tickets are were also a lot of new Burnside, ambassadors $17.50 advance, $20 daysongs I wanted to of the hill country blues of-show, add $2 for under 21. record as well. I had a Dickinson absorbed friend transcribe the wholly and unreservedly tunes, another friend of growing up in northern mine did the artwork Mississippi. for it; really came out beautiful. The tune “My Leavin’” reads, at least “But the recording of the album was initially, like a tribute to his father’s death really casual,” he says. “I was in in 2009 after bypass surgery. The line Chicago, so I got to record with Mavis “Don’t let my leavin’/grieve you” sticks [Staples], which was wonderful. When with the listener like a psalm of serenity. I was in Nashville, I’d go with my “It’s funny that you pick that one Nashville and Mississippi friends. We’d out,” Dickinson says. “That line was just record in groups. There’s a funny actually from an R.L. Burnside song, kind of luck in record production, ‘Long Haired Doney,’ and I learned where the more honest and casual your that line when I was on tour with R.L. recordings are, the more people like it.” back in ’97. I always thought it was a All the tunes across the 21-cut pro- nice line, kind of old-fashioned. grams bear Dickinson’s writing credit; a “All my songs come from conversafew are collaborations, such as the love- tions I remember, or other songs I ly ballad “And It Hurts” (with a Jim heard. It’s just a southern oral tradition Lauderdale co-writing credit), gently ... But it’s just like what Dylan does: laced by Lillie Mae Rische’s weeping take a line and write a melody to it.” fiddle, a few credited with his dad, legLike “Ain’t No Grave,” his re-record endary producer and musician Jim of the tribute piece he did write for his Dickinson, and the bouncing hill coun- dad, initially recorded with North try shuffle “Hurry Up Sunrise”, coMississippi Allstars, recorded more written with the late Otha Turner and sparingly here with the transcendent sheened up by flashes of Dickinson’s Mavis Staples sharing vocals.

Boulder Weekly

3rd Thursdays at eTown Hall

Oct

Annual High School Songwriting Competition

A songwriting competition for high school students to exhibit and expand their creativity.

Film Series:

Oct

Chefs Night at eTown Hall A Celebration of Munchies Films

“Yeah,” Dickinson says. “There are a handful of old-time gospel songs that use that verse, use that line. You hear that, and it’s all about the connotation. It could be, you know, the song that someone got engaged to, or the song that your mother got married to. Whatever! The language bears weight.” Economy of language, indentifying the specific gravity of words and their placement in a song — these are qualities we’re tempted to believe are innate, but Dickinson knows better. Songwriting is both a primitive and fiendishly complex process (well, good songwriting is...), and he admits that despite his richly musical upbringing, developing the skills to play in that space took some guidance from his old man. “That’s an interesting thing about my dad,” Dickinson says. “As a kid, I grew up writing songs, and I’d bring them to him. And they’d be OK, but I had no craft. He would teach me about rhyming, theme, counting your syllables, balancing your syllables, balancing your pattern. He taught me about the craft of songwriting. “It’s easy to get hung up on what you think the song’s really about. But now, it’s all second nature or part of my process. And it feels like we’re still collaborating.” Now the father of two daughters, Dickinson finds himself drawn to thoughts of fatherhood, what it means to be a role model, what someone sees of themselves, or their own parents, in their children’s eyes and aspirations and instincts. “I love it,” he says of being a dad. “It’s amazing — a little terrifying but it’s good.”

Oct

Radio Show Taping

Nov

The London Souls and Wood & Wire

Nov

Fundraiser:

Kutandara Center’s Moon & Stars Fundraisering Concert

Workshop & Performance

Otis Taylor’s

Tranceblues Festival & Jam Workshop

with Mato Naji, Marcella Simien & more

Oct 27

talks & FOrums:

nOv 15

Film series: the wild FOundatiOn presents: “wild ways: cOrridOrs OF liFe” 3rd thursdays: wendell mercantile slideshOw/lecture: Jay blakesberg rOck & rOll phOtOgraphy

nOv 17 nOv 22

switch~ a Fast-paced

event abOut sharing sustainable energy ideas.

WHERE: eTOWN Hall 1535 Spruce Street Boulder, CO 80302 TICKETS: eTOWN.org

October 20, 2016 33

NEW

Whiskey Lounge Pearl Street & Back Bar Patios Sake Bar SPECIALS

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november Britten Performed by Augustin Hadelich NOV 4-5

Common Sense for Boulder County • Expertise with regulatory bodies, including FDA & EPA, and Boulder County Land Use Department. • Member of Boulder County Placement Alternatives Commission, managing seven Social Services programs to keep families together, from 1992-2002. • Volunteer Victim Advocate with Boulder County Sherriff’s Office since 2001.

KEVIN SAYS: Boulder County’s budget is going wild. In 2004 the budget was $223 million. The 2016 budget approved last December was $426 million. During 2016, the budget has increased to $474 million and there’s still two months left. That means we’re adding $1.26 Million to the approved 2016 budget every week. While not performing the Core Services like road maintenance and public safety. If I’m elected we’ll live within our budget, perform the core services, and bring common sense back to spending our taxpayer’s money.

What I’m Fighting Against

• Wasteful spending and excessive taxation • County officials making up their own laws • Regulations that • Inadequate attack small government services to businesses unincorporated areas

www.KevinSipple.com 34 Ocotber 20, 2016

december MASTERWORKS

Courtney Lewis, conductor Augustin Hadelich, violin

Ben Folds: Master Work with the Colorado Symphony

NOV 11-12

MASTERWORKS

HOLIDAY

FRI 7:30 Q SAT 2:30 & 6:00 Q SUN 1:00

HOLIDAY

FRI-SAT 7:30

Holiday Brass at Montview Boulevard Presbyterian Church

HOLIDAY

DEC 16 & 18 FRI 7:30 Q SUN 5:00

Brian Buerkle, conductor Colorado Symphony Brass & Percussion

SAT 7:30

Andres Lopera, conductor

Drums of the World

DEC 16-17

Nicholas Kraemer, conductor Colorado Symphony Chorus, Duain Wolfe, director

FRI-SAT 7:30 Q SUN 1:00

Elephant Revival with the Colorado Symphony

NOV 27

DEC 9-11

Handel’s Messiah MASTERWORKS

Peter Oundjian, conductor Silver Ainomäe, cello

NOV 26

A Colorado Christmas

Christopher Dragon, conductor Colorado Symphony Chorus, Duain Wolfe, director Colorado Children’s Chorale, Deborah DeSantis, artistic director

Christopher Dragon, conductor Ben Folds, piano

NOV 18-20

MASTERWORKS

FRI-SAT 7:30 Q SUN 1:00

David Danzmayr, conductor Stephen Hough, piano

FRI-SAT 7:30

Shostakovich Performed by Silver Ainomäe

All Beethoven Featuring Symphony No. 7 DEC 2-4

FRI-SAT 7:30

Handel’s Messiah Sing Along FAMILY

SUN 1:00

Colorado Symphony Percussionists

DEC 18

HOLIDAY

SUN 4:00

Duain Wolfe, conductor Colorado Symphony Chorus, Duain Wolfe, director

Celtic Woman Home for Christmas: The Symphony Tour DEC 20

TUE 7:30

SPECIAL

www.celticwoman.com

Frosty & Frozen DEC 21

HOLIDAY

WED 6:30

Andres Lopera, conductor

A Night in Vienna DEC 31

HOLIDAY

SAT 6:30

TICKETS

coloradosymphony.org T 303.623.7876

box office 1000 14th St., No. 15, Denver, CO 80202 mon-fri: 10am - 6pm T sat: 12pm - 6 pm Boettcher Concert Hall at the Denver Performing Arts Complex

presenting sponsor

Half Notes Please join us for family-friendly pre-concert activities in Gallery 2.

proudly supported by

Boulder Weekly

arts & culture

wo of Boulder’s choral groups will separately spend In their new the weekend exploring show, Boulder Chorale feageography and gender. tures the stylings Happily, both programs of award winning poet Domiwill be given twice in the Boulder area. nique Christina. So if you are looking for musical adventures, you can experience both journeys. The Seicento Baroque ensemble and director Evanne Browne will travel back to the music of 16th- and 17thcentury Spanish America. They will perform music by Spanish missionaries and converted Christian natives in Central and South America, sung in Spanish and Latin as well as Nahuatl, the indigenous language of the Aztecs. At almost the same times, in Boulder and Longmont, Boulder Chorale will be delving into music by and about women. Their program, “Women’s Work: Poetry and Music” will feature the chorale and director Vicki Burrichter performing music from Hildegard to Carly Simon, and settings of religious texts extolling the Virgin Mary. Bringing the performance was like, or what the drums sounded up to 2016, five-time national poetry like,” Browne says. But “we can’t be slam winner Dominique Christina will completely confident” that we know poetically address modern social issues how it sounded, because “none of us that affect women. were there.” Seicento’s mission is to present Historical uncertainties aside, the “worthy but rarely-heard music of the marriage of European musical styles early Baroque period.” That time — with the native traditions created music around 1600 — coincided with the that sounds engagingly exotic, ranging Spanish colonial era in the Americas. from the anonymous Teponazcuicatl, The Spanish missions were rich with “The procession of the drums,” that is musical activities, including choirs of built from native drumming patterns, to Native Americans who brought their a more traditional Renaissance choral own lively traditions to the perforsetting of Salve Regina by the Spanish mances and in some cases wrote music composer Hernando Franco. themselves. “It’s a lively concert full of unexpected Browne says “there’s rhythms and dance-like been a surge of publicamusic, and some real surON THE BILL: tions and information prises in music that was “Colonial Latin American about this repertoire. I written by composers who and the New World” by spent the last year listen- Seicento Baroque were raised in colonial Ensemble. 7:30 p.m. ing and researching and Latin-America,” Browne Saturday, Oct. 22, First seeing what was online, says. “There’s so much United Methodist Church, 1421 Spruce St., Boulder and thought, ‘This rhythm in it, and the 3 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 23, would be really fun!’” instrumentation is very, Longmont Museum Stewart The music presents Auditorium, 400 Quail Road, very unusual as well.” Longmont, Tickets: 720-301several challenges, Boulder Chorale’s con7747. including the use of “Women’s Work: Poetry and cert of “Women’s Work” indigenous languages in opens with music by one Music” by Boulder Chorale. 7:30 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 22, of the most revered female some texts, complex and 4 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 23, rhythms and evidence of musicians of European Boulder Adventist Church, percussion parts that history, the medieval 345 Mapleton Ave., Tickets: 303-554-7692. were not written down. Benedictine abbess, Using the work of speChristian mystic, composer cialists, Browne addressed those proband polymath Hildegard of Bingen. lems by making “scholarly assumptions” For the rest of the concert, about how the music should be perBurrichter says, “I wanted to show the formed. variety of music composed by women “We can go by artwork of the periand about women, and try to touch on od, and we can go by some of the docu- as much of that as I could.” And variety ments that recall what a performance there is, from the medieval mysticism

Courtesy of Boulder Chorale/Marshall Groff, 2013

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Upcoming Events & Entertainment

Adventures in geography and gender by Peter Alexander

Boulder Weekly

Thursday October 20th

LADIES NIGHT WITH

ROMERO UNPLUGGED

“Acoustic Rock Classics” Free Admission & discounted drinks for the ladies

Friday October 21st

LAST MEN ON EARTH of Hildegard, to a traditional South African song arranged in the spirit of Miriam Makeba, to American modernist Meredith Monk’s “Panda Chant II.” The program ends with a choral arrangement of Carly Simon’s anthem “Let the River Run,” written for the 1988 film Working Girl. In among music by women will be pieces by men about women — specifically Anton Bruckner’s Ave Maria and John Tavener’s Mother of God, Here I Stand. “I wanted to show how male composers have represented women,” Burrichter says. “The Ave Maria is such a standard representation of Mary, the mother of Jesus, as is the Tavener Mother of God.” Poet Dominique Christina is featured prominently on the program, although she cannot say exactly what she will do. “It works better for me to function from the spirit of the moment,” Christina says. “I need to feel what the space requires. “You know that music will happen, and you know that poetry will happen. And if you have any context for my work, you know that the work will probably be heavy. All the parts that I celebrate about myself have been proven by virtue of adversity, or complication, something I’ve had to resist, or insist upon, or fight against. My poetry has to be honest about that.” Christina says her work will include both the adversity and the celebration. Or as she puts it, “In the JudeoChristian context, I’m going to talk about the crucifixion before I talk about the resurrection.”

“Arena Rock”

Saturday October 22nd Boulder Weekly presents

LADIES ROCK THE BLUES!

ERICA BROWN BAND & KERRY PASTINE AND THE CRIME SCENE Saturday October 29th

80’S HALLOWEEN PARTY WITH

KELLI SAID Wednesday November 2nd

BLUES & BOURBON WITH

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Thursday November 3rd

WINK! FREE ADMISSION “Rock/Pop”

Friday November 4th

AMERICA ROCKS!

TROUBLE IN THE HEARTLAND “A Bruce Springsteen Tribute”

&...THE LEGENDARY HITCHIKERS “A Tom Petty Tribute”

Saturday November 5th

THUMPIN’ “R&B/Dance”

Sunday November 6th

HOLLY AND THE HUSBAND FREE ADMISSION “Classic Jazz”

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Sleep Out Dine Out Shout Out

for Homeless Youth

November is Homeless & Runaway Youth Awareness Month

Sleep Out

Thurs, Nov 10th Sign up today! Pledge to raise $1000 and Sleep Out in downtown Boulder. Join over 100+ community and business leaders sleeping out so homeless youth don't have to.

FREE YOURSELF FROM DEPENDENCE ON MEDICINES & DOCTORS

Dine Out

Nov 18th & 22nd Dine Out at these restaurants donating a portion of sales to Attention Homes.

Fri, Nov 18th - Twisted Pine Brewing

· Stop Hoping for Cures. · Heal Your Own Health Problems. · Heal Your Self-Harming Behaviors. · Live With Integrity. · Use Food, Exercise & Thought as Medicine · Give Your Body Real Kindness. Charley Cropley, N.D. Naturopathic Doctor

Voted Best of Boulder ALTERNATIVE HEALTH CARE PRACTITIONER 2010 ‘11 ‘12 ‘14

Tues, Nov 22nd - Under the Sun

Shout Out

Wed, Nov 2nd Live performance art and conversation at BMoCA in Boulder brings awareness to the realities of homeless youth.

More details at AttentionHomes.org/sleepout or call 303.447.1206 x129

scan to visit website

Call for a 303.442.6161 FREE 20 minute consultation: charleycropley.com 36 October 20, 2016

Boulder Weekly

arts & culture Courtesy of Josh Blue

I’m just Joshin’ Josh Blue to perform in Boulder by Zach Evens

or Josh Blue, there is one clear-cut reason he’s a comedian. “Oh, the pussy! You know that’s a nice side perk,” Blue jokes. But really, for Blue, it’s about connecting audience members, even if they wouldn’t normally see eye to eye. “I think it’s just being able to feel the laughter, getting a room full of randoms to laugh together at the same shit. ... You get everybody to see the same thing. Whether you’re Republican, Democrat, white, black, whatever,” Blue says. “We all laugh at the same shit. It’s a pretty universal amazing thing to be able to do.” It’s been 10 years since Blue debuted onto the national comedy scene. After winning the fourth season of NBC’s Last Comic Standing in 2006, he’s since released a comedy namely comedians like Chris Rock for his raw and real special on Netflix, performed with the likes of Ron White humor, Mitch Hedburg for his delivery and Richard Pryor and Carlos Mencia, been on several television programs for his stage movement and writing talent. Blue pauses a such as The Ellen DeGeneres Show and Live with Regis and moment before adding Salvador Dali to the list with a laugh. Kelly and much more. Like most comics, Blue also draws a great deal of his A stand-up comedian with cerebral palsy, Blue’s comedy comedic material from his daily life, inviting audiences to has brought disability awareness into the spotlight, though listen to experiences that are more personal than most it was never necessarily his goal to do that. He would rather comedians are willing to share. be leading by example than preaching to an audience. There “And I think that’s what people like, is I’m just so open are, of course, parts of Blue’s comedy that do focus on what and real with my experience and my trials and tribulations it’s like to have a disability. and am able to still laugh at it,” Blue says. “Because every“The disabled community is the largest body’s got their own shit to deal with, but minority group on the planet, because they when you see someone else dealing with it, pile us all together. If you’re blind, get in the it helps you deal, I think.” ON THE BILL: Josh Blue. 8 p.m. Friday, Oct. pile. If you’re deaf, help the blind guy find Living in Denver, Blue says the hardest 28, The Dairy Arts Center, the pile. If you got one leg, hop on,” Blue part of comedy for him is travelling, where 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, says in his special Delete. he has to deal with time zone changes, flying 303-440-7826. Blue has been practicing his craft for and worst of all, being away from his kids. around 16 years, beginning first when he Blue will be performing an hour of new was in school at The Evergreen State material at the Dairy Arts Center in College, where he performed a weekly show at a local cofBoulder on Oct. 28, featuring comedy focusing on his kids fee shop. and his divorce, but leaves a hint of vagueness on what he “Just the humble beginnings where you don’t even know might come up with before the show. that that’s a real career choice,” Blue says. Regardless of what Blue has his sights set on for the After graduating, it only took Blue a month to start per- future, it’s clear that he’ll always be a comedian. forming in small local shows, which led to larger shows and “I’m always going to be a stand-up. That’s my first love eventually going pro. and that’s what I truly have a gift in,” Blue says. He loves to Nearly 20 years is a long time to be performing, and make people laugh and is very grateful to his fans for helpBlue says his comedy has changed over the years. His early ing him get to where he is today, so rest assured more funny work featured mostly self-deprecating comedy centered will always be on the menu for Blue. around his disability, but now he focuses on humor that Going forward, Blue says he has a lot on his plate comes from the perspective of a disabled person. Blue’s besides comedy, “in order to not be mundane.” He would most recent special, Delete, tackles a lot of issues Blue like to write and direct movies, continue working on his encounters in his own life, like travelling and airports, deal- book and on television shows, and on being a good father. ing with the limelight, interacting with police officers and Blue is constantly looking forward, always wondering what Japan’s strange vending machines. the next step will be, how he can be open to new experienc“You just get older and different views of the world. I es and how he can keep adding things to his life. feel like it’s smarter stuff; I don’t know that people neces“You kind of have to look at it like this. If I die tomorsarily like that,” Blue says with a laugh. row, did I do a lot of shit? Yeah,” Blue says. “But if I don’t Blue’s comedic influences come from a variety of sources, die tomorrow, can I do more shit? Yeah.” Boulder Weekly

performers speakers events Naropa University’s MFA Theater: Contemporary Performance Program Presents:

SPILL

Written & directed by Leigh Fondakowski, Spill is based on over 200 hours of interviews collected in the aftermath of 2010 BP Deep Water Horiozon dissaster.

Friday–Sunday, October 21–23 Thursday–Saturday, Oct. 27–29 Naropa Performing Arts Center 2130 Arapahoe Avenue, Boulder

Christian Nonduality in Theory and Practice With Rev. Dr. Cynthia Bourgeault

Join us for a weekend of exploration of Centering Prayer, a surrender method of meditation or contemplative prayer that reaches back to the early days of Christianity.

October 22-23, 2016 9:00a.m.–5:00 p.m. Public Talk October 23, 7:00 p.m. Nalanda Events Center 6287 Arapahoe Avenue, Boulder CO

For more information and tickets visit naropa.edu/events October 20, 2016 37

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THE MAIN SQUEEZE ANALOG SON & THE RUNNIKINE SAT. OCT 29 8:30 PM BOULDER WEEKLY PRESENTS

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MON. OCT 31 8:30 PM RADIO 1190, BOULDER WEEKLY & TWIST & SHOUT PRESENT

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DEVOTCHKA **SAT. OCT 29 IS 21+**

MON. OCT 31 7:00 PM COLORADO’S ELUSIVE INGREDIENT PRESENTS

ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW DENVER’S ROCKY HORROR SHADOWCAST TUES. NOV 1 6:30 PM YWCA OF BOULDER COUNTY PRESENTS

DANCING WITH THE BOULDER STARS

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38 October 20, 2016

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Boulder Weekly

Madeline Tonzi

#NODAPL LIVE MUSIC & ART EVENT. 7 p.m., Thursday, Oct. 20, madelife. 2000 21st St., Boulder, 303-927-0802. Musicians and artists team up to fundraise for the Standing Rock camp in protest of the Dakota Access Pipeline in North Dakota. The event is hosted by madelife and 350 Colorado, with a suggested donation of $10-100.

1135 13th St., Boulder, 720-645-2467.

Music

Francis and the Wolf. 8 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile Cafe, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847.

Open Jam. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-7733.

Indigent Row. 9 p.m. Wibby Brewing, 209 Emery St., Longmont, 303-776-4594.

Open Mic. 6:30 p.m. Dickens Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont, 720-297-6397.

A Mac DZ. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355.

Romero Unplugged. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Mountain Meadow String Band. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Sherefe. 7 p.m. Caffe Sole, 637R S. Broadway St., Boulder, 303-499-2985.

Boulder Swing Collective. 9 p.m. Waterloo, 809 Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094. Brazil Night. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. The Complete Unknowns. 7:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 1800 Pikes Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-823-6685. DJ Mary Jane. 10 p.m. Pearl Street Pub, 1108 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-777-6768. eTowns 5th Annual Handmade Songs Series. 7 p.m. eTown Hall, 1535 Spruce St., Boulder, 303-443-8696. The Felice Brothers. 9 p.m. The Fox Theatre,

The Music of Art and the Art of Music: Jennifer Hayghe. 7:30 p.m. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-444-7328. The Nancy Walker Trio. 7 p.m. Por Wine

Benyaro Get Out The Vote Fall Tour. 7:30 p.m. Sunday, October 23, Gold Hill Inn, 401 Main St. (Gold Hill), Boulder, 303-443-6461.

Trekkies, rejoice! George Takei is coming to Boulder as CU’s first distinguished speaker of the school year. For those who aren’t Trekkies and have no clue what George Takei had to do with making that space opera so popular, do some research. Check out his social media, maybe start with Facebook, where his page has over 9.7 million likes. Over the years, Takei has become an influential voice in promoting the rights of the LGBTQ community and Japanese Americans, among other important issues. Tickets are $2 for students, $10 for faculty and $25 for the broader Boulder populace. — Claire Woodcock

Indie roots rock artist Benyaro kicked off their Get Out The Vote fall tour back in August. The Wyoming-based band released new material from sessions with Danny Kadar (The Avett Brothers, My Morning Jacket), including the politically inspired track “Too Many Men” at the start of the tour. Fun fact: The group’s frontman Ben Musser actually went to the same school as Donald Trump, Jr., son of the Republican party’s nominee in this year’s presidential election. But that doesn’t mean he’s campaigning for his former classmate’s father. With the Nov. 8 election just around the corner, Benyaro’s Get Out The Vote tour will be a rally for participation in this year’s general election. — Claire Woodcock

Boulder Weekly

Wikimedia Commons/ Alex Lozupone

Courtesy of Benyaro

Listen

Laugh

An Evening with George Takei. 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, October 26, Macky Auditorium, 1595 Pleasant St., Boulder, 303-492-8423.

House, 836 1/2 Main St., Louisville, 970-2593555.

Solo Show — Acceptance is a Moving Target by Louise Pearson. 7:30 p.m. Shine Restaurant & Gathering Place, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0120. see EVENTS Page 40

Art That Feeds Harvest Celebration. 6 p.m. Sunday, October 23, eTown Music Hall, 1535 Spruce St., Boulder, 303-903-4970. The third annual Art That Feeds Courtesy of Conscious Alliance Harvest Celebration sets an ambitious goal this year of providing 10,000 meals to families in need at the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota. Hosted by Conscious Alliance, Art That Feeds is one of the biggest events of the year for the local nonprofit. The event will feature cuisine prepared by local chefs. Conscious Alliance has been working with the Pine Ridge Reservation since 2002 to help the community get the nourishment it needs. Also enjoy a silent auction and an intimate musical performance from The Dimmer Twins. — Claire Woodcock

Support

SEE FULL EVENT LISTINGS ONLINE. To have an event considered for the calendar, send information to calendar@ boulderweekly. com. Please be sure to include address, date, time and phone number associated with each event. The deadline for consideration is Thursday at noon the week prior to publication. Boulder Weekly does not guarantee the publication of any event.

Thursday, October 20

October 20, 2016 39

events

EVENTS from Page 39

arts

Tyler Grant. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400. Events Adult Acrylics 2. 6:30 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902. Art & Sip: The Art Of Sentimental Hairwork. 7 p.m. Longmont Museum, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374. Aspiring Artists (ages 13-16). 5 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902. Happy Hour for Jean Dubofsky’s Book Release. 5 p.m. Rio Grande, 1101 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-444-3690.

Ana Maria Hernando: We Have Flowers. CU Art Museum, 1085 18th St., Boulder, 303-4928300. Through Oct. 22.

HOVAB @ Macky: Shark’s Ink. BMoCA at Macky, 285 University Ave., Boulder, 303-4928423. Through Nov. 18.

Bodacioussss. Museum of Contemporary Art, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303-298-7554. Through Jan. 29.

Ladies and Gentlemen Meet the Dramastics — Nathan Carter. Museum of Contemporary Art, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303-298-7554. Through Jan. 29.

Colorado Lowriders. Longmont Museum, 400 Helen Redman, detail from “Artist Aflame,” 1982 (Collection of Faith Stone)

Homeschool Art: Full Spectrum (ages 9-13). 10 a.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

Moving Foward: The Next 40 Years. Arvada Center, 6901 Wadsworth Blvd., Arvada, 720-8987200. Through Nov. 13.

Tinkerers Club (ages 8-10). 3:30 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

Friday, October 21 Music A.J Fullerton. 10 p.m. Waterloo, 809 Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094. Booster. 10 p.m. Pearl Street Pub, 1108 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-777-6768. Booster. 10 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922. Dan Treanor, Affrosippie. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400. Dave Honig-Songs of the Jazz Age. 5:15 p.m. Bistro des Artistes, 103 Main St., Longmont, 303-772-9599. Dechen Hawk, Colin Robison, Jarrad Menard. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

Looking Back: 40 Years/40 Artists. Arvada Center, 6901 Wadsworth Blvd., Arvada, 720-8987200. Through Nov. 13. Mixed Media Art by Nathan Abels. Community Art Program Gallery, NCAR, 1850 Table Mesa Drive, Boulder, 303-497-1174. Through Dec 2.

Stein Holding Competition. 7 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-3288328.

Trivia by Tobias. 7 p.m. Johnny’s Cigar Bar, 1801 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0884.

Local Folk. Firehouse Art Center, 667, Fourth Ave., Longmont, 303-651-2787. Through Nov. 6.

Mysterium Tremendum: collecting curiosity. CU Art Museum, 1085 18th St., Boulder, 303492-8300. Through Dec. 17. HOVAB @ The Dairy takes a look at gender in Front Range Women in the Visual Arts Founders, running through Nov. 27.

Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374. Through May 31. Glory of Venice. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through Feb. 12. HOVAB: Evolving Visions of Land and Landscape. Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art, 1750 13th St., 303-443-2122. Through Jan. 5. HOVAB @ The Dairy Arts Center; Criss-Cross Collective; Front Range Women in the Visual Arts Founders. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Through Nov. 27.

On Desert Time. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through Jan. 8. Pioneers: Women Artists in Boulder, 18981950. CU Art Museum, 1085 18th St., Boulder, 303-492-8300. Through Feb. 4. Resident Artists’ Exhibition. The Arts Longmont Gallery, 356 Main St., Longmont, 303-6787869. Through Dec. 23. Shockwave. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through May 28. Tactile Art by Ann Cunningham. Community Art Program Gallery, NCAR, 1850 Table Mesa Drive, Boulder, 303-497-1174. Through Dec 2. Words are Leaves — Kim Dickey. Museum of Contemporary Art, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303-298-7554. Through Jan. 29.

The Delta Sonics. 9 p.m. Gold Hill Inn, 401 Main St., Boulder, 303-443-6461. Envy Alo, Silver Kimono. 10 p.m. Boulder House, 1109 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-443-8600. Eric Gonzales. 5 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914.

Old Salt Union w/ Chicago Farmer. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355.

Eric Stone. 6 p.m. Very Nice Brewing Company, 20 Lakeview Drive, Unit 112, Nederland, 303-258-3770.

Paper Moonshine. 7:30 p.m. Oskar Blues CyclHOPS, 600 S. Airport Road, Longmont, 303-776-BIKE.

Follow the Fox. 7 p.m. World Of Beer, 921 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-728-9155.

Pit Folk. 6 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile Cafe, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847.

Front County with Monocle. 8 p.m. Wildflower Pavilion at Planet Bluegrass, 500 West Main, Lyons, 303-823-0848.

The Prairie Scholars. 8:30 p.m. The Roost, 526 Main St., Longmont, 303-827-3380.

Home for the Bewildered. 6:30 p.m. Still Cellars, 1115 Colorado Ave., Longmont, 720-204-6064.

Rhinelanders at Bohemian Biergarten. 9 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-328-8328.

Hymn For Her. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-7733.

Sambadende. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Jesse Garland Band. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 1800 Pikes Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-823-6685.

Teresa Caroll and the Top Cats. 7 p.m. Caffe Sole, 637R S. Broadway St., Boulder, 303-4992985.

Last Men On Earth. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Venus Cruz. 7:30 p.m. Chautauqua, 301 Morning Glory Drive, Boulder, 303-442-3282.

Luther Dickinson, Rich Robinson. 9 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 720-645-2467.

Events

Mariachi Sol De Mi Tierra. 2:30 p.m. Stewart Auditorium, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374. The Mixers. 7 p.m. Grossen Bart Brewery, 1025 Delaware Ave., Longmont, 214-770-9847.

40 October 20, 2016

North Boulder Underground. 6 p.m. Upslope Brewing Company (Lee Hill), 1501 Lee Hill Road, Suite 20, Boulder, 508-873-9185.

The Boulder Filmmaking Incubator. 6 p.m. Boulder Digital Arts Studio, 1600 Range St., Suite 100, Boulder, 303-800-4647. Day of the Dead Sugar Skull Workshop. 4:30 p.m. pARTiculars Art Gallery and Teaching Studio, 401 S. Public Road, Lafayette, 720-890-7888.

Eco-Cycle. 3 p.m. Flatirons Terrace, 930 28th St., Boulder, 303-939-0898. Exotica Erotica Ball. 9:30 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030. Exploring 2d Art: Painting, Printing, Collaging, And More! 3:30 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902. Homeschool Art: Full Spectrum (ages 5-8). 9 a.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902. Masterpiece Markers (Ages 3-5). 1 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902. Saturday, October 22 Music AJ Fullerton. 7 p.m. World Of Beer, 921 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-728-9155. Antonio Lopez. 10 p.m. The Stone Cup, 442 High St., Lyons, 303-823-2345. Ben Hammond. 6:30 p.m. Rayback Collective, 2775 Valmont Road, Boulder, 720-885-1234. Blues on the Lamb. 6:30 p.m. Front Range Brewing, 400 W. South Boulder Road, Suite 1650, Lafayette, 303-339-0767. Cloud Kickers International. 9 p.m. The Dark Horse, 2922 Baseline Road, Boulder, 303-4428162. see EVENTS Page 42

Boulder Weekly

November 4–6, 2016

James McMurtry u John Fullbright Jeffrey Foucault u Rising Appalachia Mark Erelli u The Railsplitters Anne McCue u Kaia Kater The Suitcase Junket Beth Wood u Ma Muse Sammy Brue Tickets: $40 —$130

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if you are interested in participating,

Please contact Jared Greiner at (303) 735-4955 E-mail: jared.greiner@colorado.edu

MoabFolkFestival.com Boulder Weekly

Integrative Vascular Biology Laboratory Department of Integrative Physiology University of Colorado at Boulder October 20, 2016 41

events EVENTS from Page 40

words

Colonial Latin America and the New World. 7:30 p.m. First United Methodist Church, 1421 Spruce St., Boulder, 303-442-3770. Coop and the Chicken Pluckers. 4:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914.

Thursday, Oct. 20

Corey Rezner. 7 p.m. Por Wine House, 836 1/2 Main St., Louisville, 970-259-3555.

Susan Casey with Jean Dubofsky — Appealing for Justice. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074.

Danny Shafer. 8 p.m. Liquid Mechanics Brewing Company, 297 U.S. 287, Lafayette, 720-550-7813.

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Friday, Oct. 21

Defunkt Railroad. 10 a.m. Longmont Farmers’ Market, 9595 Nelson Road, Longmont, 303-678-6235.

Jennifer Skelton. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303-495-3303.

The Dueling Ukes. 7:30 p.m. Oskar Blues CyclHOPS, 600 S. Airport Road, Longmont, 303-776-BIKE.

Monday, Oct. 24

Erica Brown Band, Kerry Pastine and the Crime Scene. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Tuesday, Oct. 25

Franklin and Friends. 8 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile Cafe, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847. George Nelson Trio. 7 p.m. Mandala Infusion, 4479 N. Broadway, Boulder, 720-3705800. GettoBlaster. 10 p.m. Boulder House, 1109 Walnut St., Boulder 303-443-8600.

“So, You’re a Poet” Open Poetry Reading. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

With a threat of a global food crisis, Michael Browlnee talks about solutions in his new book The Local Food Revolution. Catch Browlnee at the Boulder Book Store on Oct. 26.

Innisfree Weekly Open Poetry Reading. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303-4953303. Patrick Hoffman — Every Man a Menace. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074. Wednesday, Oct. 26 Michael Brownlee — The Local Food Revolution. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074.

Goldroom & Autograf, Melvv. 9 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030. Gora Gora Orkestar. 9 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-328-8328. Happy Hour Live Jazz. 5:30 p.m. Tandoori Grill South, 619 S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-543-7339. Janine Gastineau. 7 p.m. Caffe Sole, 637R S Broadway St., Boulder, 303-499-2985. Joy Demons. 7:30 p.m. Cannon Mine Coffee, 210 S. Public Road, Lafayette, 303-665-0625. KISSm @ Dickens Opera House! 7 p.m. Dickens Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont, 303-543-1411. Kort McCumber. 8:30 p.m. The Roost, 526 Main St., Longmont, 303-827-3380. Kutandara Center’s Moon & Stars Fundraiser with ZiMBiRA. 7 p.m. eTown Hall, 1535 Spruce St., Boulder, 303-443-8696. LeesaAnn. 2 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore and Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303-495-3303.

Roots & Rhythm. 7 p.m. Longs Peak Pub & Taphopuse, 600 Longs Peak Ave., Longmont, 303651-7886. Russell James Pyle. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-4404628. Swing St. Vrain. 7 p.m. Odd13 Brewing, 301 E. Simpson St., Lafayette, 303-997-4164.

theater

Digital Arts Studio, 1600 Range St., Suite 100, Boulder, 303-800-4647. Digital Photography Certificate Program. 9 a.m. Boulder Digital Arts Studio, 1600 Range St., Suite 100, Boulder, 303-800-4647. Kids Altar Building/Art Catrina Workshop. 2 p.m. Longmont Museum, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374. Pet Readings. 2 p.m. Boulder Psychic Institute, 1332 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-530-0920.

AdamsVisCom

Saturday Morning Groove. 10:30 a.m. Free Motion Dance Studio, 2126 Pearl St., Boulder, 720-379-8299.

An Act of God. Denver Performing Arts Complex, 1345 Champa St., Denver, 720-865-4239. Through March 12. Batboy the Musical. Longmont Theatre Company. 513 Main St., Longmont, 303-772-5200. Through Oct. 29.

Wild ‘N Free Gala. 6 p.m. Rembrandt Yard Art Gallery & Event Center, 1301 Spruce St., Boulder, 303-301-2972.

Full Code — presented by Boulder Ensemble Theatre Company. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Through Nov. 13.

Sunday, October 23

The Glass Menagerie. Denver Performing Arts Complex, 1345 Champa St., Denver, 720-865-4239. Through Oct. 16. Mid-Life 2. BDT Stage, 5501 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-449-6000. Through Nov. 12.

Nederland Firefighter’s Ball. 7 p.m. The Caribou Room, 55 Indian Peaks Drive, Nederland, 303-2583637. New Soul Night. 10 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922. Ninety Percent 90s. 4:30 p.m. Left Hand Brewing Company, 1265 Boston Ave., Longmont, 303-7720258.

380 Main St. Longmont, CO 303-772-3839

Bill Tremblay. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303-495-3303.

Courtesy of Boulder Book Store

Palmico Sound. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 1800 Pikes Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-8236685. Reverend Freakchild and the Angel-headed Hipsters. 9 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Robinson Quintet. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

Music

Tis the season for horror, head to DCPA for Frankenstein, playing through Oct. 30.

Synesthesia Chamber Music. 6:30 p.m. Grossen Bart Brewery, 1025 Delaware Ave., Longmont, 214-770-9847. Technicolor Tone Factory. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355. Tom Hamilton’s American Babies. 9 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 720-645-2467. Williams Reserve. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400. Events 2016 Flatirons Food Film Festival. 1:30 p.m. Multiple Venues, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder. Adobe Premiere Pro Hands-On. 9 a.m. Boulder

Acoustic Family Dog. 5 p.m. Gold Hill Inn, 401 Main St., Boulder, 303-443-6461. Acoustic Jam. 3 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

The African Children’s Choir. 9:15 a.m. and 10:45 a.m. First Presbyterian Church, 1820 15th St., Boulder, 303-402-6400. Andy Shaw. 10 a.m. The Stone Cup, 442 High St., Lyons, 303-823-2345. Banshee Tree. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400. Benyaro. 7:30 p.m. Gold Hill Inn, 401 Main St., Boulder, 303-443-6461. Bluegrass Pick. 12 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400. see EVENTS Page 44

Boulder Weekly

3 THURSDAYS RD

AT eTOWN HALL ETOWN’S ANNUAL HIGH SCHOOL SONGWRITING COMPETITION Thursday OcTOber 20

blOckhead & lusine

w/ blacksmiTh FeaT clark smiTh OF dynOhunTer & mux mOOl

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grass FOr ThaT ass Free beFOre 8Pm & Free beFOre 9Pm FOr all TexT message subscribers

TexT cervanTes TO 91944 TO sign uP

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w/ wiTT lOwry, daye Jack & chukwudi hOdge

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JOell OrTiZ & aP w/ drama TOne, OrTiZ, crucial lewis & Trayce chaPman

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wednesday nOvember 16

damien escObar Friday nOvember 18

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wednesday January 18

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Boulder Weekly

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Carnal Dance Party • Multiple DJs • Cuddle Dome • Aerial Performances VIP Area, Bar, & Lounge • Spankings, Hot Wax, & Shibari Rope Stations • Kink Carnival Burlesque, Belly Dancers, & Go Go Dancers • Acrobats, Jugglers, & Singers • Live Visual Art Free Sexy Photo Booth • Red Carpet Fashion Show

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COSTUMES REQUIRED - RISQUE’ ATTIRE IS STRONGLY ENCOURAGED October 20, 2016 43

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events EVENTS from Page 42

Colonial Latin America And The New World. 3 p.m. Stewart Auditorium, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-651-8374. Dan & Yoshi. 1 p.m. The Post Brewing Company, 105 West Emma St., Lafayette, 303-593-2066. David Booker. 3 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914. Hymn For Her. 5 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 1800 Pikes Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-823-6685.

Spinrad. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

Skanson & Hansen. 7 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

Events

Women in Song (ft. The Darling Ravens). 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Events 2016 Flatirons Food Film Festival. 12 p.m. Multiple Venues, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder.

Life Drawing. 6:30 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

Boulder Arts and Crafts Gallery Call For Entries. 11 a.m. Boulder Arts & Crafts Gallery, 1421 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-443-3683.

Wednesday, October 26

Music Augustus. 9:30 p.m. Southern Sun Pub & Brewery, 627 South Broadway, Boulder, 303-543-0886. Open Jovan. 6 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile Cafe, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847.

Open Stage. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914. Potluck Bluegrass. 7 p.m. La Vita Bella Coffeehouse, 475 Main St., Longmont, 720-204-6298. Events 2016 Flatirons Food Film Festival. 6 p.m. Multiple Venues, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder.

2536 Spruce Street, Boulder • 303-444-8088 wwwBoulderThriftStore.com Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/ARES.Thrift.Boulder 44 October 20, 2016

Monday, October 24

Open Mic. 7 p.m. Upslope Brewing Company (Lee Hill), 1501 Lee Hill Road, Suite 20, Boulder, 508-873-9185.

Open 7 Days a Week for Sales & Donations

All-ages Hike using Pokemon GO app. 6:15 p.m. Pearl St., Boulder. Boulder Arts and Crafts Gallery Call For Entries. 10 a.m. Boulder Arts & Crafts Gallery, 1421 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-443-3683.

The Treasures of Toothless Jack: A-Pick-APath-Play. 3 p.m. Chautauqua Park, 900 Baseline Road, Boulder, 303-442-3282.

*Earn 5 ARES Bucks for Every $10 spent!! 10 - 11am and 6 - 7pm Every Thurs. and Fri.

Open Mic Hosted by Danny Shafer. 8 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

Sixty Minute Men. 10 p.m. Mountain Sun Pub, 1535 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-546-0886.

Nature For Kids & Parents: Four “Spooky” Birds. 1 p.m. Lehigh Street entrance to Shanahan Ridge, 1903 Lehigh St., Boulder, 303-441-3440.

WEDNESDAY Double Stamp Day on Frequent Shopper Cards!! THURSDAY HAPPY HOURS*!! FRIDAY HAPPY HOURS*!!

Open Mic Hosted By Brian Rezac. 8 p.m. The Speakeasy, 301 Main St., Longmont, 720-684-4728.

Open Mic with The Prairie Scholars. 6 p.m. SKEYE Brewing, 900 S. Hover St., Unit D, Longmont, 303-774-7698.

Hawaiian Hula Classes. 5 p.m. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-447-9772.

SUNDAY Student/Faculty Discount – 20% off today (with valid school ID) MONDAY Buy 1 Get 1 FREE Sale (equal or lesser value) on clothing and shoes!! TUESDAY Senior Discount – 20% off today!! (55 and up)

Open Mic. 9 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-7733.

Lee Johnson. 4:30 p.m. Left Hand Brewing Company, 1265 Boston Ave., Longmont, 303-772-0258.

Boulder Comedy Show. 7 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-328-8328.

DAILY SPECIALS

Open Jam. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355.

Clay & Sculpt (ages 5-8). 3:30 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

Music Adam Bodine Trio. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696. Ben De La Cour. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Blues Night. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-7733. Cosmic Strings. 9 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Halloween Social Hour With Josh Brookstein. 4 p.m. Flatirons Terrace, 930 28th St., Boulder, 303-939-0898. Nelson Rangell. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757. Open Bluegrass Pick. 7 p.m. Longs Peak Pub & Taphopuse, 600 Longs Peak Ave., Longmont, 303-651-7886. Open Bluegrass Pick Hosted by Kyle Ussery. 8:30 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922. Open Mic. 6:30 p.m. Cannon Mine Coffee, 210 S. Public Road, Lafayette, 303-665-0625. Perpetual Groove, Aqueous. 9 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 720-645-2467. Solo Show - Acceptance is a Moving Target by Louise Pearson. 7:30 p.m. Shine Restaurant & Gathering Place, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303-4490120. Ultralowfi. 6 p.m. Rayback Collective, 2775 Valmont Road, Boulder, 720-885-1234. Events

Movement Mondays. 7 p.m. Free Motion Dance Studio, 2126 Pearl St., Boulder, 720-379-8299.

Acrylic & Mixed Media Painting (ages 9-13). 5 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

Video Camera Basics. 6 p.m. Boulder Digital Arts Studio, 1600 Range St., Suite 100, Boulder, 303-800-4647.

Boulder Arts and Crafts Gallery Call For Entries. 10 a.m. Boulder Arts & Crafts Gallery, 1421 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-443-3683.

Wheel Throwing: Beginners/Intermediate. 6:30 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave. Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

Bountiful Bats and Outrageous Owls! Story Time and Hike. 10 a.m. Chautauqua Ranger Cottage, 900 Baseline Road, Boulder, 303-442-3282.

Tuesday, October 25

Immigration’s Influence in Caribbean Music. 6 p.m. Lafayette Public Library, 775 Baseline Road, Lafayette, 303-665-5200.

Music Bill Mckay. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696. The Delta Sonics. 6 p.m. Upslope Brewing Company (Flatiron Park), 1898 S. Flatiron Court, Boulder, 508-873-9185. The Gasoline Lollipops. 8:30 p.m. Waterloo, 809 Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094. The Mountain Goats. 7 p.m. eTown Hall, 1535 Spruce St., Boulder, 303-443-8696.

Intro to Acrylics. 6:30 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902. Realistic Drawing: The Great Outdoors! (ages 8-11). 3:30 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902. Tinker Time for 5 & Under. 10 a.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave. Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

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by Barbara Crooker is a river you wade in until you get to the other side. But I am here, stuck in the middle, water parting around my ankles, moving downstream over the flat rocks. I’m not able to lift a foot, move on. Instead, I’m going to stay here in the shallows with my sorrow, nurture it like a cranky baby, rock it in my arms. I don’t want it to grow up, go to school, get married. It’s mine. Yes, the October sunlight wraps me in its yellow shawl, and the air is sweet as a golden Tokay. On the other side, there are apples, grapes, walnuts, and the rocks are warm from the sun. But I’m going to stand here, growing colder, until every inch of my skin is numb. I can’t cross over. Then you really will be gone. American Life in Poetry: Column 601: Barbara Crooker, who lives in Pennsylvania, has become one of this column’s favorite poets. We try to publish work that a broad audience of readers can understand and, we hope, may be moved by, and this particular writer is very good at that. Here’s an example from her collection, Gold, from Cascade Books. — Ted Kooser, U.S. Poet Laureate We do not accept unsolicited submissions. American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2013 by Barbara Crooker, “Grief ” (Gold, Cascade Books, 2013). Poem reprinted by permission of Barbara Crooker and the publisher. Introduction copyright © 2016 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. Boulder Weekly

October 20, 2016 45

screen Loco motives

‘The Girl on the Train’ is gaslighting for funnies  by Ryan Syrek

didn’t read The Girl on the Train. Maybe it’s great. Are there werewolves in it? It seems like werewolves would have made the story better. Or time travel. Or an appearance by Hitler’s ghost. Pretty much anything other than what made it into the film adaptation in terms of plot, story and character. But werewolves in particular would have probably been super neat. Go werewolves! Fine, back to what actually made it into the film. The Girl on the Train is yet another irresponsible leveraging of the horrific realities of emotional and physical domestic abuse for the sake of escapist entertainment. Why we’re collectively OK with this repurposing continues to defy all logic. If I told you genocide was being used as a plot trapping in a “mildly erotic” thriller, you’d be aghast. Yet, create a contrived potboiler in which the degradation of women is little more than a narrative twist, and it’s An adaptation of the inexplicable bestseller, this alleged “bestseller” time. thriller mostly finds ways to use emotional and physiEmily Blunt, who is cal domestic abuse as pulpy plot points. You’ve been warned. immediately forgiven for all of this, stars as Rachel, the drunken titular character whose shame spiral began when she found out her baby factory was on strike. My description there was purposefully flippant, as the emotional taxation inherent in a woman’s inability to start a biological family is handled in the film with all the tact and thought of a wet sparrow fart. Her ex, Tom ( Justin Theroux), has successfully reproduced with his new wife, Anna (Rebecca Ferguson), devastating Rachel to the point where all she does for a living is commute, the truest form of hell on earth. Rachel is obsessed with spying on another couple’s home from her vantage point on the train. Scott (Luke Evans) and Megan (Haley Bennett) seem happy from a distance. Up close, however, their union is a joyless crapfest. When Rachel sees Megan canoodle with a new man (Edgar Ramírez), she dives into the deep end of the bonkers pool, hops off her train, blacks out and wakes up with no memory of what happened. Nonspoiler spoiler alert: Bad stuff happened. If you guessed that there’s a connection between plot A and plot B, you’re way smarter than the writers think you are. The Girl on the Train is both regular bad and exceptionally bad. It’s regular bad because it telegraphs every “twist” and turn so obviously, sightless audience members could drive the course. But it’s exceptionally bad because the grotesque gaslighting that permeates every scene is treated with such pulpy glorification, such “this could never really happen” nonchalance, that the whole thing comes off as a “screw you” to women for whom this kind of thing is not “plot.” Blunt does her damndest, but she’s a talented actress, not a friggin’ magician or script exorcist. The Girl on the Train is Hitchcock by way of 50 Shades of Grey. It is ugly, stupid and troubling. Contrast this with something like Gone Girl, which coyly skewered popular men’s rights activist attitudes, and it becomes obvious that there’s nothing much worth seeing here. In fact, were it up to me, The Girl on the Train would have been strapped to the tracks. This review previously appeared in The Reader of Omaha, Nebraska.

46 October 20, 2016

Boulder Weekly

screen

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Don’t shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me  ‘The Accountant’ fails to add it up  by Ryan Syrek

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ike many of my favorite scenes from The Accountant, the best one never “It was definitely one of the most fun camps I went to this summer (believe me, I went to a lot) and I came back for seconds. It taught actually happens. me how to make music with other musicians and that will be very useful for the future. And I learned how to take a better solo.” Having just watched hunky dreamboat/obvious-serial-killer accountant Student Christian Wolff (Ben Affleck) murder the shit out of some people, plucky“The ability of the instructors to help these kids find their creativity, create songs, maximize their musical ability, and get up on stage number-cruncher Dana Cummings (Anna Kendrick) finds herself in and be stars is always impressive. Participating with his band at House has improved not only his musical ability, but also his Christian’s emergency getaway mobile home. Stunned by the staggering amount of Dog Refer a friend who registers for camp & confidence, creativity, sense of responsibility, and his ability to work you will each receive a $100 discount! with penis substitutes, sorry... guns, Dana drools out a slack-jawed “Who are you?” before a group.” - Parent immediately pulling herself together to ask if that’s a real Jackson Pollock painting. Thus, the best scene that never happens is Dana on her cell phone, chattin’ up her besYOUR PLACE tie: “Okay, so don’t freak, but I totally just met a guy... He’s super cute, draws numbers on TO ROCK walls, has really great taste in art and killed something like four people for me.” 5 2 5 C o u r t n ey Way 3 0 3 . 6 6 4 . 1 6 0 0 The Accountant stinks with the odor of got-your-nose cleverness, telegraphing plot L a faye t t e, C O 8 0 0 2 6 doghousemusic.com points in anticipation of a “No effing way!!” reaction that no effing person watching Locally Owned & Operated Since 2004 will ever have. What’s infinitely worse, the film manages to torpedo the autistic community in stultifying fashion, envisioning itself as woke pop culture escapism when it really traffics in the same insulting stereotypical sticks and stones that have long been 22 thrown. Oh, and the second scene Rehearsal is a 100-percent irrelevant sequence Studios! in which a woman of color is shamed into doing her job, as though simply having her be motivated to do said job requires an Dog House Music is Boulder County’s first state-of-the-art rehearsal studio impossible suspension of disbelief. complex, featuring 22 sound-proof studios. Rent fully equipped studios by the Like a friend who leaves hour or monthly studios with 24/7 access. unread copies of complicated Rehearsal Space • Recording Studio • Lessons and Coaching books lying around to seem smart, The Accountant litters itself with busywork to seem sophisticated. 525 Courtney Way, Lafayette, CO 80026 But basically, Christian’s asshole 303.664.1600 Trafficking in ugly, stale stereotypes and belaArmy dad abused him and his bored by a plot that’s hella dumb, this weird acdoghousemusic.com tion movie features Ben Affleck as an autistic ac- brother via violent martial arts countant who also kills people. Anna Kendrick is training and wound up creating also briefly involved, but don’t let your affinity for Autistic Batman. Now, Christian her motivate you to see her in this. helps terrorists and gangsters balance their books, leading agent Ray King ( J.K. Simmons) to track him down. Well, it leads King to convince highly competent fellow Department of Treasury employee Marybeth Medina (Cynthia Addai-Robinson) to track Christian down, or else King will reveal that she has a gun tattooed near her no-no parts and once almost killed a drug dealer “back in da hood.” Christian gets called in to help find missing money for a robotics company run by Lamar Black ( John Lithgow). Before Christian can finish his investigation, a dickbag assassin named Brax ( Jon Bernthal) murderfies the likely thief. If you can figure out who Brax is before the last 15 minutes, congrats on being smarter than screenwriter Bill Dubuque thinks you are. Actually, no matter what, you’re smarter than Bill Dubuque thinks you are. The scenes with Kendrick and Affleck are actually quite pleasant. Sadly, there are only two or three of them before she is whisked away into exposition oblivion. For his INTRODUCTORY OFFER part, Affleck is clearly trying very hard. Good for you! Good for you, Ben Affleck!! Offering And yet, in a movie this impossibly stupid, having likeable people try hard only kind Free Two 5-Gallon Bottles Glass of makes things awkward. of Water & One Months Rental Bottle This isn’t on you, Anna and Ben. You hear me? You tried good. You both tried Options on the Dispenser of Your Choice real, real good. Everyone else? Go sit in the corner. This review previously appeared in The Reader of Omaha, Nebraska.

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October 20, 2016 47

Morning Glory Cafe

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Boulder Weekly

deep dish BY CAITLIN ROCKETT

Susan France

t some point in John Steinbeck’s novel East of Eden, Samuel Hamilton comes down with a hallucination-inducing fever that puts him out of commission for a few days. His son, Tom, brings his father chicken soup “until he wanted to kill him.” “The lore has not died out of the world, and you will still find people who believe that soup will cure any hurt or illness and is no bad thing to have for the funeral either,” the narrator concludes. The healing power of soup is lore that still resonates in contemporary society — just look at the popularity of bone broth. But I’m here to posit that soup is more than just a dish to vanquish the common cold. It’s more than a hodge-podge of leftovers and spices, more than what you eat when “there’s nothing to eat” in the house, and more than the choice you make when you don’t want salad with your meal. Soup can be the highlight of a meal, and damn it, it can be the meal itself. Tom kha soup, a staple of Thai cuisine, is one of these standalone soups, and Busaba in Louisville serves up a star example. Spicy and sour, creamy and hearty, tom kha will

Giving soup a good rap Busaba’s tom kha soup proves that soup can stand alone

accommodate for any kind of protein, but it’s traditionally made with chicken. (I opted for tofu on my last visit to Busaba, but this is unlikely a purely vegetarian option as the base of the soup is often chicken broth.) Busaba keeps their tom kha classic, with cabbage, mushrooms and red onion simmered into a mixture of broth and coconut milk, garnished with chopped green onion and cilantro. And just beneath

the surface of the creamy liquid’s light coconut flavor are hints of lime, coriander, ginger (or perhaps galangal, an Indonesian member of the ginger family), lemongrass and the subtle spice of chili peppers, creating a soup that is at once refreshing and soothing. The spice of the chilies is tempered by the coconut milk, and the coconut milk is thinned by the broth. It is a balancing act that plays out on your taste buds, working in each of the five basic tastes in the subtlest of ways. Add some chicken, if that’s in your diet, and you’ve got yourself a soup that is far more satisfying than most basic chicken noodle soups, and healthier than other creambased soups like chowder. Even if you don’t make the tom kha soup at Busaba your whole meal, it won’t blend into the back ground of the meal (love you, miso, but I’m looking at you). Tom kha is a soup made to stand out, or stand alone, and leave you feeling satisfied, even if your plan is to dive into a bowl of curry or noodles. Perhaps it’s not such a bad thing that folks still believe in the power of soup. Even if you don’t, believe in its power as a meal. Busaba. 133 S. McCaslin Blvd., Louisville, 303-665-0330.

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Boulder Weekly

nibbles BY JOHN LEHNDORFF

Biting cinema Satisfy your cravings this week at Colorado’s only food film festival

y first conscious memory of food in movies was when the dogs’ lips met in Disney’s animated Lady and the Tramp. Lovers have duplicated the spaghetti and meatballs scene a million times since it was released 60 years ago. I was fascinated and also squirmed when I saw it. Maybe my Sicilian heritage is showing because my top food-focused movie is Big Night, a raucous vignette set in an Italian restaurant. That list would also have to include Babette’s Feast; Eat Drink Man Woman; the recent Chef; and the astonishing animated Ratatouille. There are many other fine food scenes in other films, including the breakfast gathering in Moonstruck, the pie-related moments in Michael and Waitress, and the cooking and life lessons in Goodfellas and The Godfather series, including the immortal line: “Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.” I came to realize that great food films like good food literature are first and foremost about people. Through the language and rituals of chopping and sipping, we really are talking about the big scary stuff: love, death, sex and relationships. Those relationships and some artisan eats are on the bill of fare at the fourth annual Flatirons Food Film Festival (FFFF), opening Oct. 20 in Boulder. The five-day event showcases international dramas, comedies and documentaries that celebrate the pleasure and pain of cooking, shopping, eating, dining and drinking. Films and see NIBBLES Page 52

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October 20, 2016 51

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events take place in the Canyon Theater at the “Kiwi Queen” Frieda Boulder Public Library, at eTown Hall and at CU’s Kaplan (above and Muenzinger Auditorium. FFFF is the only major food below) introduced America to “exotic” film festival in Colorado and the region. fruits and veggies like In the interest of transparency, I am a friend of the kiwis and sugar snap peas in the early ’60s. festival and the person who named the event several She’ll be at the FFFF on years ago. I liked the alliteration. I’m excited about the Saturday, Oct. 22. festival because it does something that happens too rarely: a coming together of local and national foodies, chefs, bakers and experts immersed in the culinary issues of our time. For tickets and a complete schedule of films and special festival food events, visit: flatironsfoodfilmfest.org. Courtesy of FFFF

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THURSDAY, OCT. 20 The festival opens at 7:30 p.m. at the Boulder Public Library (BPL) with Dough, a drama about a struggling old Jewish baker in Britain who finds increased sales when his young Muslim apprentice drops cannabis in the dough. Introduced by Joshua Pollack of Rosenberg Bagels and Delicatessen. FRIDAY, OCT. 21 Chefs Night at eTown Hall (7:30 p.m.) features a series of short films about a restaurant, a curious cannabis dinner, Asia’s coolest cocktail bar and oysters. Bryan Dayton (OAK | at fourteenth), Hosea Rosenberg (Blackbelly) and chef Theo Adley will talk about the films. SATURDAY, OCT. 22 Saturday starts with some tasty free (with registration) events for kids, a Children’s Tour of the Boulder Farmers Market at 9:30 a.m. and a screening of Food Films for Kids at 10:45 a.m. (BPL). Tim Brod (Highland Honey) and Dan Hayward (Savory Spice Shop) are the speakers. see NIBBLES Page 54

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nibbles NIBBLES from Page 52

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If you’ve ever enjoyed a kiwi fruit you can largely thank one woman: Frieda Kaplan. The documentary Fear No Fruit (1:30 p.m., BPL) details how Kaplan introduced over 200 exotic produce items and changed how we look at food. Alfalfa’s Market co-founder Hass Hassan will introduce the film. Bobby Stuckey of Frasca Food and Wine introduces Somm: Into the Bottle (4 p.m., BPL), a documentary in which sommeliers and winemakers try to convey the magic and mystery of great wines. Saturday’s main event is Courtesy of FFFF City of Gold (7:15 p.m, BPL), which profiles Pulitzer Prizewinning restaurant critic Jonathan Gold of the Los Angeles Times. For almost eight years I was the dining critic of the Rocky Mountain News and it remains one of the oddest jobs in the world. Gold will be there to talk about the film, his craft and food. SUNDAY, OCT. 23 Sunday’s program focuses on the issue of food waste with two documentaries plus discussions and snacks crafted from food waste by chefs. Just Eat It (noon, CU Boulder) is the Inconvenient Truth of food waste depicting how roughly 50 percent of America’s food ends up as trash. Theater of Life (2 p.m., CU Boulder) documents a Milan soup kitchen created by renowned chef Massimo Bottura and staffed by some of the world’s best chefs including Ferran Adria and Alain Ducasse. Speakers include Lindsey Loberg (Boulder Food Rescue), Peter Svatek (Theater of Life director) and Philip Taylor (Mad Agriculture). Intermission snacks made from waste will be prepared by chefs Matthew Collier of Seeds Library Café and Joshua Pollack of Rosenberg Bagels and Delicatessen. City of Gold chronicles Pulitzer Prizewinning restaurant critic Jonathan Gold’s relationship with the food and culture of Los Angeles.

MONDAY, OCT. 24 Two short films about sustainable seafood will screen Monday at a Bristol Bay sockeye salmon dinner at Boulder’s Basta with chefs Kelly Whitaker, who will be joined by Rosenberg’s Bagels owner Joshua Pollack and Arcana chef Kyle Mendenhall. 303-997-8775.

LOCAL FOOD NEWS

I’ll be the chief judge when Alfalfa’s Market hosts an organic pie contest on Saturday morning at the Boulder store. Stop by and say “Hi!” Afterwards, the contest pies will be sold for a $1 (or more) donation to Growing Gardens. alfalfasmarket.com ... Learn to make pies Nov. 22 at Boulder’s Food Lab. foodlabboulder.com. ... Kalita Grill Greek Cafe has opened at 2426 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, former site of Big City Burrito. ... Fast casual Zoës Kitchen is open at 1695 29th St. in Boulder, serving Mediterranean fare including a baked feta appetizer and a rosemary ham and mozzarella piadina.

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I do appreciate the chicken, sausage, brisket and burnt ends at Louisville’s Lulu’s BBQ. Recently, I changed it up and tried the smoked firm tofu which shows off the Texas white oak smoke flavor in a very pure way. It’s a perfect canvas for various barbecue sauces and the house garnish: minced sport peppers, onions and pickles.

WORDS TO CHEW ON

“To eat good food is to be close to God.” — From the film Big Night.

John Lehndorff is hosting a special one-hour edition of Radio Nibbles at 8:30 a.m. today on on KGNU (88.5 FM, 1390 AM, kgnu.org). Lehndorff ’s “Zen and the Art of Pie” workshop is Sunday at the Boulder Book Store. E-mail comments to: nibbles@boulderweekly.com. Boulder Weekly

drink Tour de brew: West Flanders Brewing Co. A Belgian-Colorado fusion down the heart of Pearl by Michael J. Casey

hen it comes to beer, nobody does it ON TAP: West like Belgium. The small country — Flanders Brewing Co. just 11 million people covering 1125 Pearl St., Boulder, 12,000 square miles — is home to 303-447-2739, wfbrews.com. 180 breweries, and I’m sure each and every one of them is not only delicious, but steeped in history. Bruges, the capital of Belgium’s westernmost providence, West Flanders, dates back to the mid-800s with a plethora of breweries popping up in the 1500s. If you love beer, you better go there. But Bruges is a commanding 4,804-mile journey from Boulder, not exactly daytrip material. Lucky for you, Belgian-inspired brews dot the landscape. Though the Pearl Street Mall is a far cry from the medieval town of Bruges, the West Flanders Brewing Susan France Company is a cozy sit with plenty of suds to quaff. So enjoy that crisp mountain air, drop a dollar in the hat of the man playing his didgeridoo and imagine endlessly fragrant fields of red and yellow tulips as you enter West Flanders. No one claimed that living in Boulder was boring. Though Boulder continues to change and evolve on a daily basis, the trio behind West Flanders put down their brewing roots more than 20 years ago, and their longevity is nothing short of impressive. This can be attributed to brewmaster Brian Lutz’s ultimate aim: combine Belgian tradition with Boulder attitude. The results speak for themselves. With workhorses like the hoppy American IPA, Third Kingdom (6.7% ABV), the roast Black Immaculate IPA (9.2%) and the big and bold Belgian ale Angry Monk (6.8%), West Flanders has established its liondotted taps and cans around town. A trip to West Flanders reveals a wide array of seasonal and specialty beers for those taking in a football/baseball/basketball game or just engaging in good old diatribe. The All Hours session lager (4.9%) is light and perfect for a bout of day drinking, while the imperial Mr. Chain Blue Lightning (8.25%) is an aggressive lad with one hell of a wallop. Mr. Chain is West Flanders’ first Imperial IPA and it is not to be taken lightly. Nor is the Daisy Cutter, a dark Belgian-style strong ale that will cut you down at the knees if you’re not paying attention. Too much punch? Give the delectably light and sweet Snowy Wit (5.1%) or the quaffable Czechinspired Hoffmeister Pilsner (5.0%) a try. Just make sure to leave room for dessert, the Recreational Smoke Porter (7.3%), an outstanding full-bodied beer loaded with smoke that delivers a heck of a lot of snap, leather and mahogany on the back. No trip to West Flanders is the same — their rotating beers change frequently — but do not despair, they will can anything they have in beastly sized quarts for home quaffing or climbing those Flatirons. From up there, you won’t see the walled city of Bruges, but you will see the eclectic and sometimes off-kilter land of Boulder County. Where else would you want to be?

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Notice of Availability: Draft Environmental Assessment, Department of Commerce Boulder Laboratories Campus Master Plan Agency: Department of Commerce Public Comment Period: October 19 – December 5, 2016 Summary: Pursuant to the National Environmental Policy Act of 1969 (NEPA), as amended (42 USC 4321 et seq.) and the Council on Environmental Quality Regulations for Implementing the Procedural Provisions of NEPA (40 CFR parts 1500-1508), the Department of Commerce (DoC) has prepared and issued a Draft Environmental Assessment (EA) for the implementation of a 20-year Master Plan for the DoC Boulder Laboratories Campus. The Master Plan reflects DoC’s vision for the physical development of the campus and for a flexible strategy for implementation, with the goal of ensuring that campus facilities and infrastructure can support current and projected mission requirements. Under the Master Plan, DoC would perform various new construction, demolition, landscape and storm water management improvements, utility improvements, and circulation improvements within the campus over the course of 20 years. The Master Plan would result in temporary construction-related

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ARIES

MARCH 21-APRIL 19: In the 1980s, two performance art-

ists did a project entitled “A Year Tied Together at the Waist.” For 12 months, Linda Montano and Tehching Hsieh were never farther than eight feet away from each other, bound by a rope. Hsieh said he tried this experiment because he felt very comfortable doing solo work, but wanted to upgrade his abilities as a collaborator. Montano testified that the piece “dislodged a deep hiddenness” in her. It sharpened her intuition and gave her a “heightened passion for living and relating.” If you were ever going to engage in a comparable effort to deepen your intimacy skills, Aries, the coming weeks would be a favorable time to attempt it.

TAURUS

APRIL 20-MAY 20: In the coming weeks would you prefer

that we refer to you as “voracious”? Or do you like the word “ravenous” better? I have a feeling, based on the astrological omens, that you will be extra super eager to consume vast quantities of just about everything: food, information, beauty, sensory stimulation, novelty, pleasure, and who knows what else. But please keep this in mind: Your hunger could be a torment or it could be a gift. Which way it goes may depend on your determination to actually enjoy what you devour. In other words, don’t get so enchanted by the hypnotic power of your longing that you neglect to exult in the gratification when your longing is satisfied.

GEMINI

MAY 21-JUNE 20: When the wind blows at ten miles per

hour, a windmill generates eight times more power than when the breeze is five miles per hour. Judging from the astrological omens, I suspect there will be a similar principle at work in your life during the coming weeks. A modest increase in effort and intensity will make a huge difference in the results you produce. Are you willing to push yourself a bit beyond your comfort level in order to harvest a wave of abundance?

CANCER

JUNE 21-JULY 22: Cuthbert Collingwood (1748-1810)

had a distinguished career as an admiral in the British navy, leading the sailors under his command to numerous wartime victories. He was also a good-natured softie whose men regarded him as generous and kind. Between battles, while enjoying his downtime, he hiked through the English countryside carrying acorns, which he planted here and there so the “Navy would never want for oaks to build the fighting ships upon which the country’s safety depended.” (Quoted in Life in Nelson’s Navy, by Dudley Pope.) I propose that we make him your role model for the coming weeks. May his example inspire you to be both an effective warrior and a tender soul who takes practical actions to plan for the future.

LEO

JULY 23-AUG. 22: Eighteenth-century musician Giuseppe

Tartini has been called “the godfather of modern violin playing.” He was also an innovative composer who specialized in poignant and poetic melodies. One of his most famous works is the “Sonata in G Minor,” also known as the Devil’s Trill. Tartini said it was inspired by a dream in which he made a pact with the Devil to provide him with new material. The Infernal One picked up a violin and played the amazing piece that Tartini transcribed when he woke up. Here’s the lesson for you: He didn’t actually sell his soul to the Devil. Simply engaging in this rebellious, taboo act in the realm of fantasy had the alchemical effect of unleashing a burst of creative energy. Try it!

VIRGO

AUG. 23-SEPT. 22: The planets have aligned in a curious

pattern. I interpret it as meaning that you have cosmic permission to indulge in more self-interest and self-seeking than usual. So it won’t be taboo for you to unabashedly say, “What exactly is in it for me?” or “Prove your love, my dear” or “Gimmeee gimmeee gimmee what I want.” If someone makes a big promise, you shouldn’t be shy about saying, “Will you put that in writing?” If you get a sudden urge to snag the biggest piece of the pie, obey that urge.

LIBRA

SEPT. 23-OCT. 22: In the course of her long career, Libran

actress Helen Hayes won an Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and a Tony. Years before all that glory poured down on her, she met playwright Charles MacArthur at a party in a posh Manhattan salon. Hayes was sitting shyly in a dark corner. MacArthur glided over to her and slipped a few salted peanuts into her hand. “I wish they were emeralds,” he told her. It was love at first sight. A few years after they got married, MacArthur bought Hayes an emerald necklace. I foresee a metaphorically comparable event in your near future, Libra: peanuts serving as a promise of emeralds.

SCORPIO

learned all I can from my pain, and therefore no longer need its reminders. Goodbye, pain.” On the three days after that, say these words, even if you can’t bring yourself to mean them with complete sincerity: “I forgive everybody of everything.”

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will render the bad questions irrelevant.

CAPRICORN

DEC. 22-JAN. 19: In the

past eleven months, did you ever withhold your love on Go to RealAstrology.com to check out purpose? Have there been Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO times when you “punished” those you cared about by actHOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE SAGITTARIUS ing cold and aloof? Can you HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes remember a few occasions NOV. 22-DEC. 21: For are also available by phone at when you could have been the foreseeable future, you 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. more generous or compaspossess the following powers: sionate, but chose not to be? to make sensible that which If you answered yes to any of those questions, the next three has been unintelligible... to find amusement in situations that weeks will be an excellent time to atone. You’re in a phase of had been tedious... to create fertile meaning where before there your astrological cycle when you can reap maximum benefit had been sterile chaos. Congratulations, Sagittarius! You are from correcting stingy mistakes. I suggest that you make gleeful a first-class transformer. But that’s not all. I suspect you will efforts to express your most charitable impulses. Be a tower of also have the ability to distract people from concerns that aren’t bountiful power. important... to deepen any quest that has been too superficial or careless to succeed . . . and to ask the good questions that

AQUARIUS

JAN. 20-FEB. 18: In 1415, a smaller English army defeated

French forces at the Battle of Agincourt in northern France. Essential to England’s victory were its 7,000 longbowmen — archers who shot big arrows using bows that were six feet long. So fast and skilled were these warriors that they typically had three arrows flying through the air at any one time. That’s the kind of high-powered proficiency I recommend that you summon during your upcoming campaign. If you need more training to reach that level of effectiveness, get it immediately.

PISCES

FEB. 19-MARCH 20: Let’s imagine your life as a novel. The

most recent chapter, which you’ll soon be drawing to a close, might be called “The Redemption of Loneliness.” Other apt titles: “Intimacy with the Holy Darkness” or “The Superpower of Surrender” or “The End Is Secretly the Beginning.” Soon you will start a new chapter, which I’ve tentatively dubbed “Escape from Escapism,” or perhaps “Liberation from False Concepts of Freedom” or “Where the Wild Things Are.” And the expansive adventures of this next phase will have been made possible by the sweet-and-sour enigmas of the past four weeks.

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SAVAGE

Love

Dear Dan: I’m a 56-year-old widow. My husband died suddenly eight years ago. by Dan Savage We had no children. I’ve learned how to get along on my own, and until recently, partner might be able to break. If you living alone didn’t bother me. Lately, age, some older, some significantly though, I’ve become lonely. I don’t want to older — who aren’t interested in and/or spoke to your doctor about treatment options and then landed in bed with a spend the rest of my life alone. The problem capable of having sex anymore. Many man who was kind, considerate, and is that, since menopause hit, I no longer of these men want companionship, too, desire sex. I only miss cuddling and holdand they lurk on dating websites, afraid capable, but content just to cuddle — so no pressure — you might find youring hands. My body shut the door on sex, to respond because they wrongly © Rachel Robinson self wanting to reopen that door. and for the most part, I’m assume all the women on fine with it. (Sex with my OurTime.com or Dear Dan: Big fan, longtime reader late husband was truly terriSeniorMatch.com are and listener, and I need your help. How in ble.) Should I just accept that looking for older guys who the hell can a bipartisan relationship surI’m destined to spend the rest can get it up and get it in. vive this election? Things have gotten so of my life alone? Create a profile and be heated that my husband and I recently — Ready To Give Up honest about what you exploded in an ugly argument. I know I’m want (companionship, intinot fighting fair — calling him stupid Dear RTGU: Don’t macy) and don’t want and irresponsible for supporting Trump suppose you’d be interested (sex), RTGU, and you’ll — and I’m being a shitty partner, and he’s in a 64-year-old who hear from men who want a being shitty in response by spouting doesn’t leave the house life partner and a cuddle Clinton conspiracy theories. A huge part of much and feels entitled to buddy, not a sex partner or it is that he’s someone who lives to disa child- and tattoo-free twentysomea fuck buddy. agree — a true contrarian — and our thing but might be willing to settle? Finally, RTGU, if you’re content current political environment has been without sex, I’m content. But I can’t There could be used car in it for you. like manna from heaven for his sense of help wondering if your terrible-at-sex No? humor. What advice do you have? We’ve husband didn’t create a negative associThen here’s another option: There been together for ages and have survived ation that a more considerate, attentive are men out there — some around your

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other elections and issues. But, as you know, this one’s different. — Struggling After Debate Dear SAD: Unlike your husband, SAD, I don’t think there’s anything funny about Donald Trump. I’m going to enjoy watching him lose the election, and I’m going to enjoy watching his hotels and golf courses go out of business one by one, but our politics and public life have been sickened by the poison that is Donald Trump. It’s going to take years for us to recover, SAD, and I just don’t see the humor in it. And personally, SAD, I wouldn’t be able to climb into bed with someone who was planning to vote for Donald Trump. I would be out the door. But if you can’t leave because you love him despite his moral and political bankruptcy, or because leaving isn’t an option for you financially, avoid the subject for the next three weeks, don’t take whatever bait your husband throws out, and try not to gloat too much when Hillary hands Donald his ass on November 8. Send questions to mail@savagelove.net and follow @fakedansavage on Twitter.

October 20, 2016 63

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EEDBETWEENTHELINES

by Sarah Haas

Your tax dollars at work

lmost a year ago, voters across Colorado Even with the policy framework laid and actual weighed in on Proposition BB, deciding revenue numbers replacing mere estimates, the allowhether or not to allow the state to keep cation and its effect were still nebulous and hard to the excess tax revenue it raised through imagine. Just look at the chart the Office of State marijuana retail sales or to refund it to Planning and Budgeting created to help explain it! It taxpayers to the tune of $8 per person. is complicated to understand the supply of money Overwhelmingly, Coloradans told the state to and difficult to get the sense of its potential effect. keep the money, with 69.3 percent voting in favor of It isn’t a lot of money, a drop in the $5.6 billion allocating the total of excess revenue collected ($26.1 Colorado state budget for schools, but if it is used million) to school programs. A year later, some of that money is to Courtesy of Governor’s Office of State Planning and Budgeting about to be distributed to schools How is Marijuana Revenue Collected and Spent in the State of Colorado? throughout the state that have applied for Bullying Prevention Grants up to $40,000 that are used to fund bullying prevention programs. This is the first glimpse into what such tax money can actually do for Colorado kids. When Amendment 64 passed in 2012, it came with promises of raising much needed tax revenue to benefit Colorado schools, but no one knew quite Marijuana Tax Cash Fund how much money would be available or exactly how it would be used. Regulatory In 2013, Colorado voters fulfilled the Oversight campaign promises of Amendment 64 by Public passing Proposition AA, permitting the Health Youth and Prevention Safety state to charge a retail marijuana tax. Substance Turning the vote into policy, legislaAbuse Treatment tors came up with an estimate of how much money would be collected in the first year of legal marijuana sales. Basically, they created a best guess budget for a new market that had never before existed. effectively, it could make a measurable difference by The number they came up with was $40 milway of programs like the Bullying Prevention Grant. lion, better than a wild guess, but still $26.1 million The Colorado Department of Education (CDE) under the actual retail tax revenue collected, which is dispensing $2.9 million to fund a minimum of 50 was $66.1 million. Due to the state’s constitutional schools with up to $40,000 each to address bullying spending limits (TABOR), the state had to refund during the 2016-2017 year. the excess revenues unless voters granted permisAs schools around the state apply for the funds, sion to keep and spend the balance. Enter proposithey are partaking in assessments of the bullying tion BB which, as previously mentioned, passed last problem in their individual schools, setting an year. important baseline as Colorado addresses its part in 15% Excise Tax on Retail Marijuana

2.9 % Sales Tax on Retail Marijuana

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B.E.S.T. Public School Capital Construction Assistance Fund

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this national issue. “The grant is funding assessments to help position schools in terms of need and specifics of individual problems, asking students, parents and faculty directly how safe they feel with regard to bullying,” says Adam Collins, bullying prevention and education grant coordinator at the CDE. Bullying affects thousands of students each year. According to the CDE, 15 to 30 percent of students report being a part of bullying as either a victim or perpetrator, depending on their age. Collins says that involvement in bullying, regardless of one’s role, can have lasting negative consequences, like decreased academic achievement or an increased likelihood of dropping out of school. The grants, he says, have the potential to make a meaningful difference. “In general what we are trying to do is take a systems approach to preventing bullying,” Collins says. “We don’t want to just throw money at schools, we want to help them build an infrastructure into the system that can be in place even after the grant funds are expired so they continue to do the good work of preventing bullying.” There are several ways the CDE is working to change that. They will be offering evidence-based curriculums to schools that are proven to effectively lower bullying rates. “The idea with those curriculums is to reach out to students directly in order to teach skills like how to address bullying if they are being victimized, but also if they are the one perpetrating bullying,” Collins says. Another big part of the CDE’s approach is developing healthier cultures in schools, one that is warm and inviting, “one in which kids feel safe and where bullying can’t thrive,” Collins says.

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cannabis corner

by Paul Danish

Legalizing pot isn’t just about getting high

ood news! Marijuana arrests in the United States fell to a 20-year low last year! Now for the bad news. According to statistics compiled by the FBI, the number of people busted for pot in the U.S. in 2015 still came to 643,121, including 574,641 who were arrested for possession. (The number of those who were arrested for trafficking or sale of pot totaled 68,480, also a 20-year low.) The number of marijuana possession arrests in 2015 was higher than the combined total of all violent crime arrests in the United States, including murder, rape and aggravated assaults (505,681 violent crime arrests versus 574,641 pot busts). It’s hard to think of a better metaphor for what’s wrong with the country today. The U.S. seems to have developed a genius for pissing away its collective wealth and energy on fools’ errands, a depressing number of which involve various prohibitionist schemes. But let’s keep the focus on marijuana prohibition. It is sort of the kingpin of fools’ errands. It costs federal, state and local government billions a year, overcrowds jails and prisons, and gratuitously tags hundreds of thousands of people with criminal records for conduct that should never have been a crime. This has been going on for decades. Since 1965, the year the war on drugs started to get serious, more than 25 million Americans have been arrested on marijuana charges. The sheer magnitude of those numbers is reason enough to place ending marijuana prohibition at the top of the national agenda. It is as though every man, woman and child in eight Western 420

states were arrested. The social consequences of the drug war generally and the war on marijuana in particular are probably even worse than the raw total of arrests. They have introduced a level of repression into American life which is unprecedented with any other period of American history. Practices like aerial spying, urine testing, the routine use of police informers, profiling, kids informing on their parents, stop and frisk, and noknock search — to name just a few — have become the new normal. And the distrust they engender poisons normal social relationships among ordinary Americans. Think also about the implications of those 25 million arrests for the American political system. One near-certain consequence of a person being punished by government for committing a victimless crime (and possessing marijuana is nothing if not a victimless crime) is that he or she will develop a lasting distrust, if not outright hatred, of govern-

El ements Bo ulder 56

ment. The foundational principle on which the American political system rests is the consent of the governed — and a necessary condition for government receiving and retaining that consent is that it is, at some level at least, trusted by the governed. Distrust of government in the U.S. is currently higher than it’s been in decades. Say, you don’t suppose it has something to do with millions of Americans having been arrested, humiliated and dragged through the mud of the criminal justice system for doing something that’s no more inherently criminal than possessing beer or cigarettes? Maybe all of this would be tolerable if the county were getting something substantial in return. But it isn’t. There has been no discernible improvement in public health, economic activity or social wellbeing from keeping marijuana illegal; if there were any, they have been eclipsed by the easily discernible destructive consequences of marijuana prohibition. The end product of 50 years of just saying no is that a lot more people today are just saying yes. If the war on pot were a private sector undertaking, it would have been junked years ago and everyone involved with it would have been fired just on pragmatic grounds. None of this is particularly new, but it is worth recalling it, because this fall people in nine states are voting on whether to bring the national nightmare of marijuana prohibition to an end. And it’s important to remember that what they will be voting on involves a lot more than getting high.

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October 20, 2016 67

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(IN CASE YOU MISSED IT) An irreverent and not always accurate view of the world photo

STOP WHINING

We’ve all been there. Sitting in a long line of stopped cars as other, seemingly jerk drivers wiz by in the right lane. Whether they are merging into stop-and-go highway traffic or coming up on a closed lane in a work zone, these drivers tend to piss you off, don’t they? “Don’t they know that lane ends soon?” you think to yourself. Or “That seems dangerous and just plain rude.” Or better yet, “I’m stuck in this ridiculous back-up and they should be too.” Although we might be able to relate, we’re also here to tell you, you’re wrong. Roads are designed to be used and there are people who devote their life to studying traffic patterns and efficiency. CDOT sent out a press release entitled “Merge Late to Reduce Work Zone Delays,” earlier in the summer and we felt it pertinent to reiterate a few pointers. First of all, use both lanes until the “merge here” sign. And second of all, use both lanes until the “merge here” sign. Third of all, use both lanes until the “merge here” sign. Oh, and also remember the playground rules and take turns. If someone is trying to merge at the aforementioned “merge here” sign, let them in. Every other car, people, like a zipper. Don’t be rude and force them to wait for two cars to pass. Let’s all work together. Still don’t believe us? According to CDOT, studies show that “the late merge method can shorten queue lengths by as much as 35 percent when traffic is heavy.” As CDOT Transportation Systems Management and Operations Director Ryan Rice said in the press release, “We appreciate that drivers are trying to be courteous by merging early, but this creates more delays and potentially hazardous traffic backups. Merge late during congested periods and everyone will save time and be safer.” So here’s the deal. While CDOT may appreciate merging early when there isn’t traffic, they politely point out those drivers you find yourself at best shaking your head at and at worse cussing out and shaking your fist at, aren’t actually doing anything wrong. So take Obama’s advice: Stop whining. Suck it up, buttercup, because life’s not fair and it never will be.

THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE THE SMITHSONIAN

We get it. People like shoes. But spending $300,000 on one pair is a little excessive. But I guess when the Smithsonian does it, it’s “preservation.” Almost 80 years ago, Judy Garland took her famous walk down the yellow brick road wearing a pair of ruby red slippers. Apparently, time hasn’t been good to those slippers and they need some TLC to the tune of a few hundred thousand dollars, according to the Smithsonian’s Kickstarter campaign. Now we’re not saying that those shoes aren’t an iconic piece of Americana film history... We just think maybe shop around for a better quote? Surely the local cobbler has some deals going on? Or maybe the Smithsonian’s staff can try some DIY fixes. We’re just spitballing here, but a bag of sequins at your local craft store is maybe $10? Granted, the Smithsonian people probably know more than we do. Or maybe not. On their Kickstarter page they claim that they actually don’t know what they’ll do to fix the shoes. Along with scientists, the museum’s conservators will examine the materials and determine how to repair the shoes and the proper conditions on which to display them — that right now involves controlled humidity and temperature and something called “calibrated light exposure.” The page also claims, after they go through the $300,000 facelift, the slippers’ appearance won’t change much... Overall this seems like a great way to spend over a quarter of a million dollars. Boulder Weekly

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