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It was the moving beam of light that caught Patrick’s eye. He wouldn’t even have glanced out of the landing window if it hadn’t been for that sudden, darting flash of light. It wasn’t as if there was anything to see out there. A vista of high-rises blocked out anything resembling a view. But the sun came out of the clouds and caught something and for just a second sent a firefly of light dancing across the walls. He took a few steps towards the landing window and he saw it. A figure balancing on the roof of the opposite building. The mesh of steel to stop people from falling, from jumping, had been ripped open and there stood a man, a man who looked more like a puppet than a human being. A second, no, less than a second later the man began to tumble, arms wide, flailing wildly, as if he was trying to catch hold of something, trying to save himself. 1
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Patrick stared. This couldn’t be real. It was some kind of joke. Patrick almost laughed as he watched the man falling. Sailing past balcony after balcony, going down floor by floor. Not making a sound. The world was silent. It seemed to him that the man was free-falling in slow motion. Patrick was mesmerised by the movement. He didn’t even realise he was holding his breath. Any second and the figure would hit the ground. Patrick knew he couldn’t watch that. He didn’t even want to think about it. He drew his eyes away and looked back to the roof. To look at anything other than the man hitting the ground. His legs began to buckle. He drew in a great gulp of air. And the world turned the volume up full blast. There were screams, yells, a car screeching to a halt. He only just stopped himself from screaming. But boys like Patrick didn’t scream. Instead, he stumbled back from the window. Stood trembling with his back pressed to the wall. The lift came then. Had it only been seconds since he had pressed the button for it? It seemed ages ago. The doors slid open. Waiting for him. He ignored them. The door to his own flat was on the latch, he always left it on the latch, always getting into trouble for that, from his mum, from his granny. If he went back 2
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into the flat, it would make him late for school, again, and then he’d get into more trouble, though he was usually late for school anyway. So why did he care, and why was he even thinking these things? ‘Mum . . . Mum . . .’ he began to shout as he ran down the hall. ‘There’s a man . . . he fell . . . he jumped . . . I saw it.’ His mother, sitting in the living room, still in her dressing gown, looked up from her magazine. ‘Are you no’ away to school yet?’ ‘Mum, the man fell, I saw him.’ He grabbed her arm, pulled her from the seat. ‘What do you think you’re playing at, Patrick!’ She tried to shake herself free, but he dragged her down the hall, still babbling about what he had seen. Not making any sense. He knew he wasn’t making sense. He wanted her to see. He hauled her to the landing window. He dared to look below. Now it was alive with people, swarming like ants around the figure lying on the ground, surrounding him so he was almost blocked from view. In the distance they could already hear the siren of an ambulance, or maybe a police car. It was as if his mother only just took in what he was saying. ‘You saw that man fall?’ 3
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He couldn’t talk to her. His tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. He only nodded. ‘Oh, son . . .’ And for the first time in an age, his mother hugged him. Mosi was on the way to school when he heard the commotion. He lived in the same block of flats as Patrick. Three floors below him. But they hardly saw each other except in class. Mosi had left early. He always did. So he had missed the drama that Patrick had witnessed. But bad news travels fast and as he walked he heard snatches of the whispered talk as he passed groups of people gathering on the estate. ‘Somebody’s fell.’ ‘It was a man.’ ‘I heard he jumped.’ ‘Anybody know who it was?’ ‘Only one of them asylum seekers.’ Mosi didn’t stop. Though he was angry inside. They spoke, some of them, as if the life of an asylum seeker meant nothing. As if asylum seekers didn’t feel as other people felt. He was angry too, more angry, at the man who died. His death would bring the police, publicity, questions. 4
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Hadn’t he thought of the other asylum seekers who lived here on this estate? Didn’t he consider what his death, his suicide would mean to them? Selfish man. Selfish. He stopped to watch some boys playing football. Kicking the ball from one to the other. He knew them. They were in his school, some of them in his class. One of the older boys turned to watch him. He smiled. Mosi tried to remember his name. ‘Hey, Mosi,’ the boy called out to him. Brian . . . that was his name. Always friendly. ‘Come on and have a game.’ Two of the other boys stepped forward. ‘Do you know the man who topped himself?’ one of them shouted. Mosi didn’t answer him. Didn’t want to. Didn’t want to think of the man who had jumped. ‘Did you know him, Mosi?’ This time it was Brian who asked. Again he didn’t answer. Brian called out again. ‘Come on, have a kick about before you go to school. It’ll be a laugh.’ Another boy pulled him back. ‘Leave him be, Brian. That wee Mosi’s a weirdo.’ 5
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Brian gave him a final wave, then he turned back to his friends. Mosi continued to walk on. What the boy had said hadn’t hurt him. Nothing could hurt him now. Anyway, he wasn’t a weirdo. He was something much worse.
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Also by Cathy MacPhail Run, Zan, Run Missing Bad Company Dark Waters Fighting Back Another Me Underworld Roxy’s Baby Worse Than Boys Grass Out of the Depths Secret of the Shadows The Nemesis Series: Into the Shadows The Beast Within Sinister Intent Ride of Death
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Bloomsbury Publishing, London, New Delhi, New York and Sydney First published in Great Britain in May 2013 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc 50 Bedford Square, London WC1B 3DP Copyright Š Cathy MacPhail 2013 The moral right of the author has been asserted All rights reserved No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library ISBN 978 1 4088 1 2723
Typeset by Hewer Text UK Ltd, Edinburgh Printed and bound in Great Britain by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon CR0 4YY 1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2 www.bloomsbury.com
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