black and pink news
Sean “Golden Boy” (MA)
Volume 11, Issue 6
Family, Happy Holidays to you all! I know this time of year can feel sad and difficult inside. I remember swearing off holidays (except my Birthday and Howard’s Day) because, what was the point? I can tell you that hindsight is a gift and I realize that part of my thought process was flawed. The power of celebration, the magic of joy and the light of hope are available everywhere. Now, there are places that we must curate these things more than others for them to come to fruition, but the possibility is there. These systems seek to separate us from that which fuels our spirit - family (biological or found), hopes, and dreams. We at Black & Pink National want to send a bit of light to you no matter where you are. 365 days can bring so much difficult and good. I want to say LEAN into good.
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I can promise you that in that good you will always find community. The photo on the next page shows Bree, a Black and Pink family member who is now free and flourishing in New Orleans. This time last year, our B&P National team was working with Bree and her B&P PenPal on a re-entry plan for her. And a year later, she’s here and walking towards her greatness (shout out to House of Tulip for their incredible work in New Orleans). In a year - yes, so much can go awry but so much can change for the better. You are loved. You are thought about. Your needs are being considered daily by people you may never meet. Your life is important and many people are better because you exist. I personally am thankful for you. May you hold on to the joy you deserve. May your birthright of hope stay prevalent. May you
know you’re loved truly. With love & appreciation, Dominique Morgan (she/her) Black & Pink, Executive Director
Hello beautiful people! Sending you all the holiday cheer during this season. I remember well the ache and the yearning for connection to the outside during this time, and the agony of not being able to be home with family. It really dampens the holiday spirit, you know? I honor that feeling of sadness or the ache of loneliness you may be feeling right now. I hold you in my heart and send you so much love. It’s perfectly valid to have those feelings and for them to feel so big. I remember many a night crying myself to sleep. I want you to feel those feelings. Feel them in your bones. Recognize them as temporary. Express them in healthy ways, like journaling or chatting with your inside family. Then do yourself a favor and
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In This Issue Letter from Black & Pink National- p3 Ask Mx. Zephy - p6 - 10 Medication Adherence - p11 That Christmas Night - p1213 Kuwasi Balagoon Awards p14-27 Journal Prompts - p28 - 29 COVID Vaccine Info - p30-35 Letters, Art and Poetry from Inside Family - p37 - 45
Black & Pink News Black & Pink Hotline The hotline phone number is (531) 600-9089. The hotline will be available Sundays, 1-5 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time) for certain. You can call at other times, as well, and we will do our best to answer your calls as often as possible. We are sorry that we can only accept prepaid calls at this time. The purposes of the hotline are: Supportive listening: Being in prison is lonely, as we all know. The hotline is here for supportive listening so you can just talk to someone about what is going on in your life. Organizing: If there are things going on at your prison—lockdowns, guard harassment, resistance, or anything else that should be shared with the public—we can help spread the word. We look forward to hearing from you! This is our first attempt at this
DECEMBER 2020 currently and formerly incarcerated people. We are outraged by the specific violence of the PIC towards LGBTQ people, and we respond through advocacy, education, direct service, and organizing. Black & Pink is proudly a family of people of all races and ethnicities. About Black & Pink News Since 2007, Black & Pink free world volunteers have pulled together a monthly newspaper, composed primarily of material written by our family’s incarcerated members. In response to letters we receive, we send the newspaper to more prisoners every month! Black & Pink News currently reaches more than 20,000 prisoners! Disclaimer The ideas and opinions expressed in Black & Pink News are solely
Give us a call! (531) 600-9089 Sundays, 1-5 p.m. EST
Cover Image by Osheen Siva courtesy of amplifier.org
so please be patient with us as we work it all out. We will not be able to answer every call, but we will do our best. We apologize to anyone who has been trying to get through to the hotline with no success. We are still working out the system. Thank you for being understanding. Restrictions: The hotline is not a number to call about the newspaper. The hotline is not a number to call for sexual or erotic chatting. The hotline is not a number for getting help with your current court case; we are not legal experts. Statement of Purpose Black & Pink is an open family of LGBTQ prisoners and “free world” allies who support each other. Our work toward the abolition of the prison-industrial complex (PIC) is rooted in the experiences of
those of the authors and artists and do not necessarily reflect the views of Black & Pink. Black & Pink makes no representations as to the accuracy of any statements made in Black & Pink News, including but not limited to legal and medical information. Authors and artists bear sole responsibility for their work. Everything published in Black & Pink News is also on the Internet—it can be seen by anyone with a computer. By sending art or written work to “Newspaper Submissions,” you are agreeing to have it published in Black & Pink News and on the Internet. In order to respect our members’ privacy, we publish only first names and state locations. We may edit submissions to fit our anti-oppression values and/or based on our own editing guidelines.
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release those feelings to the universe. Tell them goodbye. If it’s goodbye for now because they need to be processed a bit more, that’s reasonable too. The holiday season tends to bring up a well of emotions that we can tumble into. Get wet if you desire, but please try to make an attempt to dry yourself off. Gather your inside family around and celebrate the radical joy of a chosen family. Warm yourself with the fire of community. Perhaps y’all can spend some time together reviewing your favorite articles of the Black & Pink Newsletter. Maybe y’all indulge in some magic and tell each other something you love about them or are grateful for. Build traditions of your own on the inside and discover the power of hope. If you find yourself without an inside family, we at National hold you tight. Each of y’all are receiving some holiday love soon. Keep an eye on mail call. We see you! We love you! We celebrate your existence because each of you are brilliant. Brave. Bold. Your resilience inspires me everyday. Echoing Dom, because it couldn’t be said better. May you hold on to the joy you deserve. May your birthright of hope stay prevalent. May you know you’re loved truly. In gratitude & love, David Booth (xe | xem) Black & Pink, Deputy Director
Dominique Morgan with Bree, one of our members, at The Winter Gala for House of Tulip & The Transgender District in December
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Black & Pink News
DECEMBER 2020
Hello, beautiful people! Mx Zephy here, pronouns xe | xem. Thank you all so much for writing to me with your questions. Reading through your letters brings me so much joy in connecting with you. I can only print a few of them here, but I do read each and every one of them. I will try to respond to as many as I can. Gentle reminder folks. I cannot take on legal cases as I am not a licensed attorney. If you have a specific ask about something, I could provide direction or very general guidance. Again, I am not an attorney so I don’t want to give any response that might get your hopes up. That feels harmful to me. Also, for me to file briefs or engage in lawyerly activities is outside what the Ask Mx Zephy column can do. Understandably, I also received a number of requests for me to be a personal pen pal. While I would love to and am flattered, there were so many requests that I unfortunately can’t honor that. Keep the questions coming, but please stay within the bounds of the questions I can provide guidance on. Much love, Hi Mx Zephy, I had a girl I was dating and it went well, so when we had sex it was good but when she fucked me it was good too. So I enjoyed it. So I want to be with a woman or a gay man or a trans woman but sometimes I want to dress up an be the girl so I don’t know what to feel. If your gender is one thing, can sex make you feel like you should be another or make you feel you got it wrong? -Rosé Merlot Rosé Merlot! I am running around my apartment screaming excitedly at the moment. My neighbors probably think I am having a fit. This is how excited I am for this question. RM, you are such an inspiring gem of a
person. The curiosity you possess to peel back the layers of who you are and say, “whoa these are some complicated emotions and thoughts I have,” and the courage you hold to reach out for some insight!!!! I am outright inspired by you. I appreciate you, Rosé Merlot, for being brave and writing me this. It’s a beautiful moment and I am grateful to share in this learning experience with you. Thank you! I cannot stress this enough. Your feelings or emotions are not “wrong.” They are important, because they signal important things about how you fit in or stand out in this world. I can feel the stuttering now, but but but.
But what, friend? Sex ed in this country is violent towards trans and queer folks in my opinion. We’re not taught much about how to love, be loved, and express ourselves unless it’s cis, white, and missionary three times a week for an average of 30 seconds a session. Gender and sexuality is much more expansive than what we are taught in school. In my opinion, gender and sexuality are bound only by the limits of our imagination. RM, your question is all that and a bag of chips. You discovered a truth about yourself that you thought was right, but now question it. Question away friend. Our cultural norms don’t always
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have it figured out. Gender and sexuality are still being explored. Now that I have rambled on without giving you an actual response, let’s dive into this. What I hear with this question RM is what is gender, what is sexuality, and are they the same? They are a complex topic, but really important to help you sift through your confusing feelings. We can’t cover all of this in one column, but we can give it the old college try! Let’s break this down with a cute little diagram.
Meet the Gender Unicorn (on the opposite side of this page): Gender Identity is your own personal sense of your gender, whether that is male, female, trans, non-binary, or something else entirely. It’s all yours, and only you get to decide what your gender is. No one else can decide this for you. Gender Expression is all the different ways we dress or style or behave and the ways those presentations are socially interpreted. Another way to put it is that gender expression is how we show our gender to the world. Think about this as socially boys are “supposed” to play with dump trucks and soldiers and girls play house with Barbies. You can probably guess this creates issues when someone doesn’t dress or act the way we expect them to. Sex Assigned at Birth is the biological characteristics like your external sex organs and internal reproductive structures. Many people are born with a sex that matches their identity or cisgender people. Other people are born with a sex that
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doesn’t match their identity or transgender people. Transgender is a big umbrella term for me to breakdown another time. It is important to note that some people, myself included, identify as transgender but have no desire to match my identity with what I was assigned at birth based on my sex characteristics. There are also intersex people who are born with sex characteristics that don’t match with what is understood as male or female. For example, some people are born with both of the sex characteristics of what is understood as male or female. Attraction is our sexual orientation. It is the sexual, romantic or emotional pull we feel towards someone’s gender based on our own gender. This is all yours. You can be attracted to one sex or gender, two, three or more; or even none at all. Every person and every body is different. Some of the ways we describe attraction, or sexual orientation, is gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, and asexual. There are a number of other descriptors, but this is a good list to get started with. For a real-life example, let me walk you through each of these and how it applies to me. My gender identity is free. To make it as simple as possible, imagine gender as a bucket of water. I am both masculine and feminine, but also neither at the same time. My gender just is, ebbing and flowing with masculine and feminine energy. My attraction leans more towards masculine bodies, but I also have an attraction to intelligence. Attraction to intelligence is called sapiosexual. This means that attraction can be more than just
DECEMBER 2020
to physical sex characteristics, but other characteristics of people’s identities. My sex is male as I was born with the sex characteristics of what is described as a male body. My gender expression is fabulous femme fatale with a dash of basic white straight boy. Full beat face, sparkles, fur coats, glitter, 6-inch stilettos, and gowns are staples in my closet as much as 3-day stubble, jeans, t-shirts, and a backwards ball cap. All this to say that gender and sexuality are more than just a binary of male and female. The possibilities are limitless and it really comes down to you and your body. How do you understand yourself and show up in the world? If you haven’t figured it out yet, you are not alone. I was in my early thirties before I even figured out my gender identity and expression. Even then, it’s still a work in progress. Take some time to ask yourself what your desires are. How do you want to show up in the world? What do you find attractive in someone? Is it their mind, their sex characteristics, or something else? What outfits do you think you could wear that would bring you joy and make you feel liberated? Journal all of this. You won’t know until you take the time to sit still and question yourself. Whatever your gender and sexuality looks like is normal. Embrace that. Your gender and your sexuality is all yours! I’ll leave you with this great description of pansexuality from one of my favorite television shows, Schitt’s Creek. For a bit of backstory, David was understood to be gay, and Stevie a straight woman. But then, David and Stevie engaged in some sexual shenanigans leading to this awkward and hilarious
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conversation: Stevie: Okay, cool. I *only* drink red wine. And up until last night, I was under the impression that you, too, *only* drank red wine. But I guess I was wrong? David: I see where you’re going with this. Um, I *do* drink red wine. But I *also* drink white wine. And I’ve been known to sample the occasional rosé. And a couple summers back I tried a merlot that used to be a chardonnay, which got a bit complicated. Stevie: Oh, so you’re just really open to *all* wines. David: I like the wine and not the label. Does that make sense? *END SCENE* *breathes excitedly* Maybe, just maybe RM, you like to taste all the wine! That’s beautiful and I love this for you. Rosé Merlot you may also sometimes like to taste the wine with a feminine gender expression and other times with a masculine gender expression. That’s wonderful and I love this for you, too. Embrace your identity and have the attraction and sex you want with whomever you want while dressed in whatever clothes your heart desires, so long as you have consent. Consent is mandatory! Have fun and explore your brave! P.S. Thank you for your kind words about the Self-Care Compass. I am so glad you found it helpful and useful.
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Hello Mx Zephy, How can I be more comfortable around transgenders? There are a few on the unit. -Curious Me
Let me start with a word of encouragement. It takes courage and initiative to self-reflect. Not only that, but to dig deeper and realize that perhaps some belief or thought you hold is harmful to others; and then take steps to fix it. I applaud that. Thank you for trusting me with this question. Curious Me, have you said a simple hello or engaged any of the trans people on your unit in a casual conversation? It requires a decisive act of sitting in the uncomfortable to move into a space of comfortability. By sitting in the uncomfortable, it means taking a pause and reflecting on a few questions. Why do I feel uncomfortable around them? Is it because trans people are different from me? Is it because their existence is contrary to everything we have been taught about gender and sexuality? Let’s pause and reflect together Curious Me. What is it that we are taught about gender? We are taught that “men” have a very specific role to fill. They are protectors. Breadwinners. Solid. Strong. “Women” are nurturers. Caregivers. Soft. Weak. I use quotes here, because our traditional ideas of gender are rooted in misogyny. We have a very fine line to walk to stay within the bounds of masculine and feminine. Not only that but one has to value and possess
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masculinity if we are assigned male at birth (AMAB). If one is AMAB and doesn’t value or seemingly possess masculinity you are somehow considered weak and feminine. I don’t know about you, but I see no problem with women. All the ones I know are bad asses who handle their business. That aside, and with gender roles in mind, we can make a direct connection to the idea that trans people are a direct threat to these roles. How can masculinity be valued and prized if someone can willingly cast it aside and affirm themselves as a woman? They reject the “top prize” in our culture and become the “weaker” gender. Conversely, if someone who is assigned female at birth (AFAB) affirms their gender as male then they are seen as power grabbers. They are laying claim to masculinity that wasn’t supposed to be theirs. Again, quotes here because I don’t see gender as a binary. We all have feminine and masculine qualities. Some are more balanced, others lean more masc or more femme consistently, and others, like me, fluctuate depending on how I show up that day. So I think the uncomfortableness you feel, Curious Me, is in the tension between what you have been taught and what I suspect is your changing beliefs. Consider these questions Curious Me. Sit somewhere quiet where you can notice any sensations or feelings that rise in your body. How you think and what you physically feel is a powerful signal when considered together. You have probably met some trans
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people in your life, perhaps even interacted with them, and didn’t know it. Would your thoughts or opinions change if you discovered they were? Why? Would it be different if it was someone you loved and cared for? Are you comfortable in your masculinity and sexuality? Do you feel that trans people threaten your masculinity or sexuality; or perhaps both?
lives and personalities. Getting comfortable with a trans person is about relating to someone who identifies as trans, just as you would anyone else. Sure, you will not like all trans people, but do you like all cis people? I would hazard not. Not liking all people is ok. I, for damn sure, do not like all people.
How comfortable are you with your body? Is there something about someone changing their body from the way they were born that leaves you feeling uncomfortable? Is there a difference with that and someone having their body pierced or tatted up? If yes, what’s the difference? Why is the difference important to you?
We are people. People who deserve love, dignity, and respect because we are still human. Just like you. Get to know us, ask our pronouns, and you will see. Our lives are not filled with all things trans and gender and sexuality. Often we are forced into this role of gender expert because that is our lived experience. But we are also people with our own unique
art by emily bright, courtesy of just seeds
I’ll leave you with a reflection on language because I noticed you used “transgenders.” Sending gentle encouragement to leave this term behind. Our community no longer uses it. The problem is that it marks trans people as a unified group with no identity of their own. It is almost as we have been sent to a filing cabinet of things that make you feel uncomfortable. We are not things to be filed away or discarded.
DECEMBER 2020
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You can start with me Curious Me. Hello, Curious Me. My name is Zephyr and my pronouns are xe | xem. Feel free to call me Z, Zeph, or Zephy. If you wanna be formal, shout out Hey Mx Zephy! Not too scary, right? Love and encouragement, Mx Zephy
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Making Your Meds a Habit
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By Tommy Young-Dennis, Nebraska AIDS Project (For our folks who are inside prisons, your HIV medication management may be handled by someone else. Hold onto this information for post-release. Or, if you aren’t getting HIV meds or would like to start taking them, use this information to stay informed and begin those conversations. <3 B&P National)
When it comes to treatment for HIV, the key to success is Adherence! What is adherence you ask? Adherence is your ability to consistently take your medication. To maintain optimal health, it is important that your HIV medications are taken and remain in your bloodstream for 24 hours each day. If medications are taken infrequently then drug resistance can occur. Drug resistance occurs when the medications no longer work to treat HIV infection. Prior to beginning HIV treatment, it is important to consider a few things. Here are a list of questions to consider when discussing treatment with your healthcare provider, courtesy of POZ Magazine:
• Does your daily schedule
change a lot? • What is your typical eating schedule each day? • Do you have a difficult time swallowing pill?
art courtesy of Get Checked Omaha
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• Are you taking other medications?
• What side effects can you
tolerate? • What happens if you miss a dose? Adherence can often change based on a variety of issues in your life including attitude towards taking medication, your overall mood (how do you feel about taking meds?) and disorder (Is your life well organized? It has been stated that an abundance of stress and often increased stress and anxiety can create disorder and ultimately lead to lack of adherence to medication.
If you are struggling with adherence there are a few things you can do to assist with taking your medication. Such as:
• Setting an alarm • Keeping medication with you.
• Planning on whether you will be out of the house can be beneficial and ensuring you never miss a dose.
Successful treatment, means adherence and while taking medication is never fun, will ensure you can lead a long and healthy life even with HIV.
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Black & Pink News
That Christmas Night
DECEMBER 2020
By Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca, Director of LGBTQ Health & Rights at Advocates for Youth
We didn’t grow up celebrating Noche Buena. My mother didn’t bake cookies and we didn’t drink coquito. Chyle, I didn’t even know what a Parranda was until I was well into my 20’s. My mother, who was essentially estranged from her family, didn’t have any traditions to pass down. So Christmas and every damn holiday were like Tuesdays and Thursdays - we just got
through them. The saving grace was that we got through them together. So when my mother moved out of the house right before Christmas in 1993 to live with her boyfriend, I struggled to get through the holidays alone. I could have gone to a family member’s house but my brothers and I seldom felt welcomed so I just stayed in
bed that entire day. I know this because I still have my diary from that year and this is my entry at 8pm on December 25, 1993. “I didn’t feel good today so I just laid in bed. Today was not a good day. I got some Chinese food and watched TV all day. I just ironed my red pants. I am wearing them with my red suede vest that Marilyn stole for me from Kmart.
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That’s my homegirl. I wonder what she is doing. I am going to get dressed and dance. I finally learned some new choreography.” I remember dancing, which typically meant that I was performing an entire one-man concert to Janet Jackson songs in my bedroom, when my friend Oscar called to ask me what I was doing. Of course, I didn’t tell him that I felt like shit, alone and sad - I was too ashamed. I like to believe that he knew because he said “Bitch, what you doing? I am on my way to pick you up.” It wasn’t long before he was at my house. To my surprise, he was with Jose. Just a year earlier, I was in love with Jose. Or at least I thought I was. We were actually pen pals for a few months before he dumped me via letter. And at 17 years old, I thought my heart would never heal. But I digress. After an uneventful reunion, we wound up at our mutual friend Vicky’s house. She had the house to herself. We spent the entire night laughing, dancing and singing to our favorite songs. I am sure I danced the Janet “If” routine because I did that shit everywhere I went. It was my one cool trick. I remember feeling like I finally belonged with the “cool” kids. Vicky, Denise, Jose and Oscar, were not only best friends, but they all went to school together and summer camp. Chyle, they even worked together McDonald’s. They did everything together. They were legit the Puerto Rican “Saved By The Bell.” So my being with them, on that lonely holiday,
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meant the world to me. It was my introduction to “chosen family.” It would be this memory that would help me set the foundation of what I wanted my chosen family to be and to feel like. Well, minus the “Saved By The Bell” overtones. Even I have my limits.
blasts Reggaeton as we all dance around the house. I still struggle with not having traditions to pass down to my son but it becomes easier every time my son reminds me of what we did the year before. He reminds me that our tradition is simply being together.
It was one of the last times we would all be together. Maybe the universe knew that this night had to be documented because Vicky had just a few more shots in her Kodak disposable camera for us to capture our time together in a photo. I cannot remember who shot the photo or whose idea it was for us to pose on the steps. But it is very Boricua “Saved By The Bell.” I didn’t have limits in 1993. Judge yourself.
I share this story because it is my hope that if you are feeling alone, isolated and down, please reach out to your friends. I also hope that our friends will check in and reach out to those of us who may not have “families” to spend the holidays with. It is crucial that we remind each other that we are loved and that family is what we make it. Holidays will always be hard for me. I will always struggle to redefine them. And that’s okay because now I am no longer as afraid to reach out friends and ask “bitch, what you doing?”
As the year ended, we all drifted apart and slowly fell out of touch. Jose moved to Puerto Rico. Denise moved to New York a few months later and I have not seen either one of them since. Vicky passed away a few years later. Oscar and I tried to hang on to our friendship but time and life proved to more than we could handle. As an adult, I have accepted that the holidays are always hard for me. I am a parent now and I don’t have those “traditions” to pass down to my son. I don’t bake cookies but I have friends that do. I don’t make coquito but I have friends that do. While I don’t celebrate Noche Buena, I do have Christmas dinner with my cousins, my aunt and my nieces. I still have never been part of a Parranda but my cousin
Louie A. Ortiz-Fonseca is an Afro-Boricua queer HIV positive creative born and raised in Philadelphia, PA. He is the creator of Gran Varones, a digital project that highlights LGBTQ pop culture history and community storytelling through a Black/Latinx lens. He also works in partnership with young people living with HIV to combat stigma, and hosts a YouTube series for LGBTQ youth, Kikis with Louie. Louie is a father of a 17 year-old son and worships the Patron St. Mariah Carey.
BLACK & PINK'S INAUGURAL KUWASI BALAGOON AWARD
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in honor of Kuwasi Balagoon, a New Afrikan anarchist who died from AIDSrelated illnesses while incarcerated
DECEMBER 2020 CELEBRATING THOSE THRIVING WITH HIV/AIDS
"All power is truly in the hands of the people, and in the end the people will win" - Kuwasi Balagoon In honor of New Afrikan anarchist Kuwasi Balagoon, Black & Pink wanted to create an award designed to honor everyday people thriving with HIV/AIDS. Balagoon passed away from AIDS-related illnesses in 1986. You will learn more about Kuwasi on the next page. But, like Balagoon, our winners exemplify radical living and strength. Our 11 honorees come from many different backgrounds and locations. Their achievements speaks for themselves; but, we wanted to give you, the readers, an opportunity to hear from them as well. We gave each of our honorees an opportunity to answer five questions about their life with HIV/AIDS: how it has impacted them and the barriers it has presented but also, how their diagnosis has helped them grow. We hope you enjoy hearing from them as much as we did.
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“He was an anarchist in a Black nationalist movement, he was queer in a straight dominated movement, he was a guerrilla fighter after it was ‘chic,’ and he never backed down from his ideals, his beliefs, the struggle or himself. And he demanded to be seen not as a revolutionary icon, but as a person, beautiful and flawed,” - Walidah Imarisha, from “Kuwasi at 60” by Kazembe Balagun Kuwasi Balagoon was a participant in the Black Liberation struggle from the 1960s until his death in prison in 1986. A member of the Black Panther Party and defendant in the Panther 21 case, Balagoon went underground with the Black Liberation Army (BLA). Captured and convicted of various crimes against the State, he spent much of the 1970s in prison, escaping twice. After each escape, he went underground and resumed BLA activity. Balagoon was unusual for his time in several ways. He combined anarchism with Black nationalism, he broke the rules of sexual and political conformity that surrounded him, he took up arms against the white-supremacist state—all the while never shying away from developing his own criticisms of the weaknesses within the movements. His eloquent trial statements and political writings, as much as his poetry and excerpts from his prison letters, are all testimony to a sharp and iconoclastic revolutionary who was willing to make hard choices and fully accept the consequences. Balagoon was captured for the last time in December 1981, charged with participating in an armored truck expropriation in West Nyack, New York, an action in which two police officers and a money courier were killed. Convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment, he died of an AIDS-related illness on December 13, 1986. (A summary courtesy of “A Soldier’s Story: Revolutionary Writings by a New Afrikan Anarchist” and AK Press)
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DECEMBER 2020
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KUWASI BALAGOON AWARDS HONOREE: TATIANA MCKENZIE What are the most prominent, unexpected barriers that most folks wouldn’t know about? I wouldn’t exactly say unexpected but I would say unnoticed; would have to be hypocrisy and bigotry while there’s so much advancedness and so much progression and health technology and medications; people and people’s ideals are left stagnated, close-minded and ignorant. What did you wish you knew when you first got diagnosed?
with that person, my tips vary. Forwardness, directness and being frank tends to get much more positive and comforting results versus hiding information. I’ve noticed as time has progressed that people respect your honesty and are more susceptible to reacting however it is you’re looking for that person to react because you’ve given them something many do not and that is an honesty in such a taboo area as sex.
practical thing I can tell someone wanting to assist someone with these thoughts is to figure out the reasoning behind them and attempt to help them work through it and with it. Cuz it’s always a really dark and traumatic reason why someone feels undeserving or that it’s completely unnecessary to take medication. What advice do you wish you got earlier has helped you the most?
I wish I would have been told to forgive and forget at some point playing victim is not going to help At that moment in my life, I wish you move forward. You cast blame I knew how to practice self love when some of the blame should and I wish I knew that I wasn’t the Having knowledge and having be taken in within yourself. Love one to blame. sensitivity I think are the two yourself, be yourself. And the biggest things you can utilize in advice that has helped me the ACADEMIC ATTAINMENT What did you wish more people assisting in helping others. most is it costs nothing to show understood about what it’s like to kindness, as well as endure, adapt, Birch Theater Arts evolve. School be living with HIV/AIDS in 2020? What are some ways that BACHELOR someone not living with HIV/OF FINE ARTS IN THEATER ARTS, 2011 Minored in Stage Production I wish more people understood AIDS can emotionally support What’s one (or your favorite) President Birch Improv Group not necessarily the disease in their friends who are livingofwith way you have seen yourself grow - Treasurer of the Birch Junior Marketing Society itself but understand the person HIV/AIDS? Especially when they since you’re diagnosis? - Member of the BTAS Dance Troupe with it, understand the emotional are going through moments of trauma and the defensive blanket not wanting to take medication Caprio Prep SchoolMy ability to change even the SPECIAL that we tend to SKILLS wrap and weave and grappling with mental health WITH deepest darkest into VALEDICTORIAN A 3.8 and GPA, CLASSthings OF 2007 ourselves in tightly. challenges? something I can laugh at. My special skills include singing, beatboxing, tap - President of the CPS Dramatics Club Can you share one way for me to be an ally and a more concrete and meaningful way?
CONTACT DETAILS: dancing, ballet, and ballroom dancing. I can also - Participated and won in the interschool debate championships Dospeak you English, have any tips orand strategies This is a question -I Managing cannot answer Mandarin, French fluently. editor of the school yearbook Home: 123-456-7890 for telling someone you’re close without questioning myself. I, Cell: 123-456-7890 with Facebook/Instagram/Twitter: that you are living with HIV/ too, am one of those people who @reallygreatsite AIDS? go through mental health and hello@reallygreatsite.com those moments of not wanting www.reallygreatsite.com 123 Anywhere St.,relationship Any City Depending on the to take medication. The only
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KUWASI BALAGOON AWARDS HONOREE: DELON LUCAS What are your hopes and vision for the future?
What did you wish you knew when you first got diagnosed?
My hopes and vision for the future would be that they would find a cure soon, so that everybody with HIV/AIDS can live a normal life like everybody else, even though we are living our full lives by taking our meds everyday. Also my hope and dream for the future is to help others who are having a hard time adjusting to being HIV positive and to let my HIV/AIDS and LGBTQ Brothers and Sisters know that together we can accomplish anything.
I wish that I knew how to properly take care of myself at the time, that I was more educated about HIV/AIDS. I wish I knew there were organizations out there for people who are HIV/AIDS positive because I definitely would have reached out to them for help.
What did you wish more people understood about what its like to be living with HIV/AIDS in 2020?
Do I have any tips or strategies of telling someone you’re close with that you’re living with HIV/AIDS?
HIV/AIDS, it made me look at life a lot differently and my actions as a person as well. Being positive made me start being better as a person in all ways. It made me more caring and understanding, more helpful and it also helped me grow as a man in general. I remember about 15 years ago, I wasn’t ready to open up about my status. I felt less then human with so-called friends, acting strange because of me being positive.
At first, it hurt. But at the same time, all they did was make me The way I tell someone I’m close even more strong as a man, with that I’m living with HIV/ being positive. Now, I’m able AIDS is by asking them how they to tell anyone or anybody that feel about people who are living I’m positive and not care about with HIV/AIDS. Most times, it’s how a person may look at me. a positive answer. So, I’m just Because I see it as: I’m a survivor. straight up with them right after. ATTAINMENT ACADEMIC I don’t know how to quit or give Another way how I tell someone up easily, wanting to live not only Theater School my status that I’m Birch close with is byArtsfor myself, but for my loved ones. OF FINEWhich ARTS made IN THEATER ARTS, 2011 letting them get toBACHELOR know me first me more motivated as a person and then I tell them. - Minored in Stage Production in taking my meds, working out President of Birch Improv So that they won’t- just see me to Group stay healthy and to help others - Treasurer of the Birch Junior Marketing Society as just another positive person who are having a hard time taking - Member of the BTAS Dance Troupe but as a human being with a their meds and living with HIV/ personality and that there’s more AIDS. Caprio Prep School to me than just my illness.
I wish that people around the world knew that living with HIV/ AIDS in 2020 is different from 50 years ago. With the meds that they have now, an HIV/AIDS positive person could live a full, normal life. Fifty years ago, the thought of living a full life while being positive wasn’t happening. SKILLS ButSPECIAL now things are different. VALEDICTORIAN WITH A 3.8 GPA, CLASS OF 2007 Look at Magic Johnson as a prime My special skills include singing, beatboxing, tap - President of the CPS Dramatics Club one (or your favorite) way CONTACT DETAILS: example. And not that,dancing. I canWhat’s dancing, ballet, andonly ballroom also - Participated and won in the interschool debate championships I have seen yourself grow since now there’s meds that protect speak English, Mandarin, and French fluently. - Managing editor of the school yearbook Home: 123-456-7890 my diagnosis? others from catching the virus Cell: 123-456-7890 from Facebook/Instagram/Twitter: a positive person and that’s @reallygreatsite Ever since being diagnosed with something that did surprise me. hello@reallygreatsite.com www.reallygreatsite.com 123 Anywhere St., Any City
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KUWASI BALAGOON AWARDS HONOREE: DANA WHITE Dana White is a national speaker and facilitator, based in the Washington D.C. area. They’re a Program Officer in technical assistance at True Colors United, with lived experience of youth homelessness and HIV. White is AfroLatinx, of Puerto Rican descent, and identifies as both non-binary and queer. Twitter and Instagram: @itsdanawhite
What are the most prominent, unexpected barriers that most folks wouldn’t know about? Honestly, though this might be taboo, I have to say for me the unexpected barrier at various points has been treatment fatigue. It’s one thing to understand that treatment is saving and sustaining you, that staying in adequate care effectively reduces community spread of this virus, but it’s another thing to accept every single day of your life requires adherence to a pill. It takes a mental toll and is likely to take its toll on my body. I’ve had periods when treatment adherence was a real struggle for me and I know it’s more common than is discussed outside of clinical settings. I’ve always wanted to eliminate the shame around that.
In 2020 and going forward, understand that people living with HIV are everywhere, so you should assume it’s someone you know. And assuming it’s someone you know, be motivated to become the type of person who can be trusted with disclosure, who is teachable, who can ally effectively.
people living with HIV and our experiences in every social justice fight because there is no issue that doesn’t impact us. What are some legislative/policy proposals that we should fight for to materially affirm the lives of people living with HIV/AIDS?
People living with HIV need what everyone in this country needs and deserves. This includes a single-payer healthcare system, A cure is my greatest hope and housing justice, an end to policing I have to believe we’ll see it. For and mass incarceration that myself, I envision a future that weaponizes our status against us ACADEMIC ATTAINMENT includes great love, self-discovery, through HIV criminalization. Birch Theater Arts School and fighting the good fights. What are your hopes or vision for the future?
BACHELOR OF FINE ARTS IN THEATER ARTS, 2011
Can you share one way- for me to Minored in Stage Production be an ally in a more concrete andof Birch Improv Group - President meaningful way? - Treasurer of the Birch Junior Marketing Society - Member of the BTAS Dance Troupe
One way people can show up Caprio Prep School effectively as allies to those of us SPECIAL SKILLS living with HIV is to unpack their VALEDICTORIAN WITH A 3.8 GPA, CLASS OF 2007 What did youskills wishinclude more singing, peoplebeatboxing, own stigma, really be processing My special tap - President of the CPS Dramatics Club CONTACT DETAILS: understood about what it’s like to consistently what you feel and dancing, ballet, and ballroom dancing. I can also - Participated and won in the interschool debate championships be speak living with HIV/AIDS 2020? believe. And with that, English, Mandarin,in and French fluently. -elevate Managing editor of the school yearbook Home: 123-456-7890 Cell: 123-456-7890 Facebook/Instagram/Twitter: @reallygreatsite hello@reallygreatsite.com www.reallygreatsite.com
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KUWASI BALAGOON AWARDS HONOREE: TOMMY YOUNG-DENNIS Tommy Young-Dennis, born in Omaha, Nebraska, is a gay Black man, LGBTQ+ advocate, HIV activist and educator. After being diagnosed as HIV+ in 2010, Young-Dennis turned his devastation into action. Within three months of his diagnosis, he founded an HIV+ support group for young adults, began volunteering at Nebraska AIDS Project, and dedicated his time to supporting and educating others living with the disease. In 2017, Young-Dennis joined the Nebraska AIDS Project (NAP) full-time as their Prevention and Outreach Specialist, where he does onsite testing, Linkage to Care, and focuses on providing resources and education to the Black MSM community (Men who have sex with men). Tommy was promoted to Outreach Coordinator in June 2020. Additionally, Tommy currently serves as the co-chair to the HIV Subgroup of the National LGBT HIV Criminal Justice Working Group. Since his diagnosis, Tommy has had the opportunity to share his knowledge and lived experience both locally and nationally. In 2018 Tommy was awarded the Young Black Influential Award for his Advocacy.
What did you wish more people understood about what it’s like to be living with HIV/AIDS in 2020?
and treating us like humans can change the whole trajectory of how we approach our care.
For as far as we have come, there is still so much stigma that exist surrounding HIV and AIDS. My wish is that people would understand that HIV does not equal death. In fact, there is LIFE after a diagnosis. I along with countless others are proof of that.
What are some legislative/policy proposals that we should fight for to materially affirm the lives of people living with HIV/AIDS?
How can healthcare workers best support individuals living with HIV/AIDS?
from my doctor. He simply told me “you will beat this.” I think I took that to heart. Yes, there is no cure but hearing someone tell me that I can fight, win and not be held hostage by my diagnosis allowed me to learn my strength which has carried me some 10 years later.
That’s simple. HIV Decriminalization. Any laws that What’s one (or your favorite) specifically call out someone for way you have seen yourself grow their HIV status needs to be done since your diagnosis? ACADEMIC ATTAINMENT away with. They only serve to further promote the stigma that I honestly feel like my diagnosis Birch Theater Arts me School already exists. Also, they have no gave purpose… and THAT, scientific basis. Additionally, no am happy It has madeARTS, 2011 BACHELOR OF IFINE ARTSfor. IN THEATER one living with HIV should live in Stage me bold and fearless in a lot of - Minored Production with the fear that their- President diagnosisof Birchregards. I am proud that I was able Improv Group - Treasurer of the Birch Junior Marketing Society could potentially be weaponized use my story to bring a presence - Member of the BTAS Dance Troupe against them. to awareness in my community.
Healthcare workers simply need to be present. Which is an experience I wasn’t afforded during my diagnosis. I feel doctors tend to get caught up with the Caprio What advice do you wish you Prep School medical side of the diagnosis SPECIAL SKILLS VALEDICTORIAN WITH A 3.8 GPA, CLASS OF 2007 got earlier, or has helped you the and tend to forget that we are most?tap humans who skills haveinclude been given My special singing, beatboxing, - President of the CPS Dramatics Club CONTACT DETAILS: dancing, ballet, dancing. I can also - Participated and won in the interschool debate championships life-altering news.and Byballroom no means English, Mandarin, and French fluently. - Managing editor of the school yearbook The biggest advice I received arespeak weHome: expecting you to have all 123-456-7890 came weeks after my diagnosis the answers but being present Cell: 123-456-7890 Facebook/Instagram/Twitter: @reallygreatsite hello@reallygreatsite.com www.reallygreatsite.com
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KUWASI BALAGOON AWARDS HONOREE: THAMICHA ISAAC Award-winning founder and CEO of Miizmisha’s World of Empowerment and Openly Positive Inc; Thamicha Isaac is an entrepreneur, motivational speaker, and life coach and an openly positive HIV activist of a global HIV empowerment movement. Isaac is on a mission to not only change lives but also empower individuals to fight for self-efficacy and not allow a diagnosis of HIV to deter them from living out their life’s dreams while bringing awareness and HIV education to communities worldwide.
What are your hopes and vision for the future? My hopes and vision for the future is to live in a world where people are no longer scared to get an HIV test or to know their status, living in a world where stigma is nonexistent.
any medical care or medication. What advice do you wish you got earlier, or has helped you the most? Some advice I got when I was first diagnosed that sticks with me is: HIV is no longer a death sentence. It took me 17 years to actually realize what that really meant. Not only is HIV no longer a death sentence but we have the power to control our own narrative. It all depends on what that narrative looks like for us as a person living with HIV.
biased, you are either 100 percent for the cause or you’re not. What did you wish more people understand about what its like to be living with HIV/AIDS in 2020?
Living with HIV in any century has its own sets of challenges. What are some legislative/policy However, living in the times of proposals that we should fight for COVID-19: for many long-term to materially affirm the lives of survivors, it brings back memories people living with HIV/AIDS? of when they buried a lot of their friends and families. For many, Some legislation and policies this is a scary time. Having HIV we should look at are: HIV is alone comes with its share of ACADEMIC anxiety, ATTAINMENT not a crime. PWN (Positive depression, isolation, Women’s Network) has several Can you share one way for me to mental and emotional challenges. Birch Theater Arts School bills that should be taken into be an ally in a more concrete and For most of my peers that relied BACHELOR OF FINE ARTS INprograms THEATERand ARTS, 2011 consideration to be passed in meaningful way? on attending group congress. sessions, transitioning to the - Minored in Stage Production - President of Birch Improv One way for you to be a virtualGroup world was and is the only Treasurer of the Birch Junior Marketing Societyand to We also need a universal meaningful ally is to stand up way to stay connected Member of the BTAS Dance Troupe healthcare bill. Many cities and and speak out when you hear continue the support system that states, especially in the south misinformation on the topic of they are accustomed to. Caprio Prep School have a hard time retaining HIV/AIDS. Use those moments SPECIAL SKILLS VALEDICTORIAN WITH A 3.8 GPA, CLASS OF 2007 medical HIV positive or newly to educate and not join in the My special skills include singing, tap - President diagnosed patients due to the beatboxing, stigmatized conversations or of the CPS Dramatics Club CONTACT DETAILS: ballet, and ballroom dancing. I can also - Participated and won in the interschool debate championships lackdancing, of Medicaid expansion, hence behaviors. Also remove all speak English, Mandarin, and French fluently. Managing editor of the school yearbook leaving many of my peers without personal bias. An ally can’t be Home: 123-456-7890 Cell: 123-456-7890 Facebook/Instagram/Twitter: @reallygreatsite hello@reallygreatsite.com www.reallygreatsite.com 123 Anywhere St., Any City
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KUWASI BALAGOON AWARDS HONOREE: MARVELL L. TERRY II Marvell L. Terry II is a public health strategist, community builder, and thought leader. Marvell is a native of Memphis, TN; and currently resides in Chicago, IL. The genesis of Marvell’s work began as an early intervention specialist at a children’s hospital in Memphis, linking newly diagnosed individuals into care or finding those who have not been adherent to their healthcare plan. Marvell is the founder of the annual Saving Ourselves Symposium (SOS), a convening for Black LGBTQ individuals living in the South focused on health, wellness, and social injustices of this community; founder of The Red Door Foundation, a non-profit purposed to fight for the health outcomes of Black gay men in the Mid-South; and Netherwood Consulting Group, a social impact group that supports institutions communicating with the community. Marvell’s published work “Prevalence and Correlates of HIV-Risk Behaviors among Homeless Adults in a Southern City” can be found in the Journal of Health and Disparities Research and Practice (Spring 2014, Volume 7). Marvell is currently a student at Truman College.
What are the most prominent, unexpected barriers that most folks wouldn’t know about?
it’s very important to have a medical case manager that knows how to navigate a healthcare system that is very complex to ensure all people move across the continuum of care in a way that speaks to the humanity and dignity of the person.
What did you wish more people understood about what it’s like to be living with HIV/AIDS in 2020?
My first job in HIV was as an Living with HIV some days has Early Intervention Specialist challenged my mental health. for a Ryan White Part A clinic There are some days where it has in my hometown of Memphis, challenged what I think about Tenn. I saw the barriers that myself, my possibilities, and if I’m system-impacted communities What did you wish you knew worthy of love. Some days I simply ACADEMIC ATTAINMENT faced too often. For example, when you first got diagnosed? need that hug or a heart emoji or to get certified for Part A, you funny gif. I wish that more people Birch Theater Arts School have to have a valid state ID or When I eventually linked to care understood that people living with BACHELOR OF FINE ARTS IN THEATER ARTS, 2011 driver’s license. For those recently my CD4 was a 2. At that moment, HIV need that push some days. - Minored released, those are items they not knowing much about the in Stage Production President of Birch Improv Group might not have; therefore, it often importance of a CD4- or a viral How can healthcare workers best - Treasurer of the Birch Junior Marketing Society slowed up the process to get load, I didn’t know what was next. support individuals living with - Member of the BTAS Dance Troupe certified for Part A. Additionally, All I knew was that the medical HIV/AIDS? for individuals that owe child team was in a panic and I began Caprio Prep School SPECIAL SKILLSis support, their identification to panic. I wish that IVALEDICTORIAN knew at that Healthcare workers can best WITH A 3.8 GPA, CLASS OF 2007 usually taken away which impacts very moment that everything will support individuals living with My special skills include singing, beatboxing, tap - President of the CPS Dramatics Club thedancing, linkage to care process be fine and that I would build a HIV by removing biases, having a CONTACT DETAILS: ballet, and ballroom dancing. I can also - Participated and won in the interschool debate championships tremendously and happens more network of friends that would plan of treatment, and be willing speak English, Mandarin, and French fluently. - Managing editor of the school yearbook 123-456-7890 oftenHome: than not. I’ve seen that hold me up and hold me tight. to help fight through a healthcare Cell: 123-456-7890 Facebook/Instagram/Twitter: @reallygreatsite hello@reallygreatsite.com www.reallygreatsite.com 123 Anywhere St., Any City
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system where many Black and brown people are not prioritized. Do you have any tips or strategies for telling someone you’re close with that you are living with HIV/ AIDS? I am public about my status; however, I can’t assume that everyone has seen an article or read a story about me so I just tell them. If it’s a hook-up, I put it on all my profiles. I acknowledge that for some they will determine the harm of informing someone of your status and that’s real for them.
What advice do you wish you got earlier or has helped you the most?
What’s one (or your favorite) way you have seen yourself grow since your diagnosis?
My mentor, Dr. David Malebranche, gave me a book in 2012 titled ”The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. Some close to 8 years later, I’ve read this small book many times. Ultimately I am still trying to learn how to be impeccable with my word, not to take things personally, don’t make assumptions, and to always, always do my best. Also, I permit myself to just cry. A good cry will bless you!
Working in HIV and in the community, I’ve watched myself become harder. Allow me to explain: working in a space that has become both personal and professional, you become hurt so much because it’s your life. You’re fighting so hard to save your life, your community’s life, and your friends. You bring all that to the floor. Yes, I’ve grown; however, it’s been in a way where I’ve become very defensive. I hope to lean into my softness with the help of therapy in 2021.
Kuwasi Balagoon, courtesy of PM Press
“i am tired of going through towns and cities, divided into sections where the houses are bigger and more fit for habitation in one section than the other, and the police protect one section and harass and terrorize the other, the one section enjoying better living conditions always white and the section mostly non-white. i am tired of living in a land where the highest rank a Black man or woman can attain is a token appointment and then hearing that crap that we are all Americans! i am tired of living the life of a colonial subject while the hypocritical oppressors and exploiters of my people make pompous declarations about our democracy. America is racist, and by no twists and turns of semantics, by no evasions whatever, can a racist nation claim to be a democracy.” - K. Balagoon in his opening statement during the Brink’s Trial
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KUWASI BALAGOON AWARDS HONOREE: NATIONZ FOUNDATION Nationz Foundation was organized to operate exclusively for educational and charitable purposes. Our mission is to provide education and information related to HIV prevention and overall health and wellness, while inspiring the community to take responsibility for their health while working towards a more inclusive Central Virginia for LGBTQIA+ identified individuals.
What does your organization feel is missing in terms of larger community support for people living with HIV/AIDS?
of disease
What I feel is missing for larger community support for people living with HIV/AIDS is compassion and empathy and erasing the stigma related to HIV. There is so much information available to educate our communities, but the lack of compassion and empathy, coupled with all the stigma, makes individuals feel unsupported.
There are many ways to support I think acquiring the mobile the work of Nationz. We are testing units is what I am most always in need of non-perishable proud of. These units go out items for our food pantry and into the community to meet volunteers. You can fill seats on individuals where they are and our Board of Directors or give a provide life-saving services they financial donation. Visit www. may not have had access to nationzfoundationrva.org for because of transportation issues. ACADEMIC ATTAINMENT more information. The units provide free HIV testing Birch Theater School STI testing as well as being a What are some ways that peopleArts and BACHELOR ARTS IN THEATER food pantry. ARTS, 2011 not living with HIV/AIDS can OF FINE mobile - Minored Stage Production emotionally support theirinloved - President of Birch Improv Group ones who are living with HIV/ - Treasurer of the Birch Junior Marketing Society AIDS?
What is your organization’s dream or vision for the future for people living with HIV/AIDS in Virginia?
How can people, in Virginia and beyond, support your work?
What’s one of your favorite ways your organization has grown to better support Virginians living with HIV/AIDS?
- Member of the BTAS Dance Troupe
I think the best support Capriofor Prep School SPECIAL SKILLS Our dream is that the future folks living with HIV is to be VALEDICTORIAN WITH A 3.8 GPA, CLASS OF 2007 individuals living with HIV/AIDS in empathetic, knowledgeable, have My special skills include singing, beatboxing, tap - President of the CPS Dramatics Club Virginia will no longer encounter about-their status, sowon in the interschool debate championships CONTACT DETAILS: dancing, ballet, and ballroom dancing. I candiscussions also Participated and stigma related to their diagnosis. I that they feel comfortable speak English, Mandarin, and French fluently. - Managingtalking editor of the school yearbook 123-456-7890 wantHome: to see more suppressed viral to someone about what is going Cell: 123-456-7890 loadsFacebook/Instagram/Twitter: and undetectable status @reallygreatsite so on so they feel supported and not that we can eradicate the spread isolated. hello@reallygreatsite.com www.reallygreatsite.com 123 Anywhere St., Any City
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KUWASI BALAGOON AWARDS HONOREE: MATTHEW INOUYE Matthew is a 21 year old college student from Southern California. He works in restorative justice and conflict resolution in high school settings. He volunteers frequently in his community, especially with those who are also living with HIV/AIDS.
What do you wish you knew when you first got diagnosed? The moment that I was diagnosed, I was actually in high school. It was senior year, I just turned 18 a couple months prior. I wish I knew in that moment that I was being diagnosed, that that wouldn’t be the complete end of adult life How can healthcare workers best support individuals living with HIV/AIDS?
Because I don’t care about what you learned in your ninth grade health class. Because they don’t know about me, I was in that same class. They don’t teach you about what I’m living with, what I’m surviving with, thriving with, What’s one (or your favorite) way you’ve seen yourself grow since your diagnosis?
exist. And I have to value who I am individually. Because who’s valuing me right now? I looked around me in that little hospital room and the doctors obviously not valuing me. I had a revelation. And I was like, I’m not validating myself right now. And so I learned that I have to give myself what I’m worth.
What advice do you wish you got earlier, or has helped you the most?
I think one way I saw myself grow was the way that I live my life. It’s I think some advice that I wish I not that I live it like I’m dying; it’s had gotten earlier was knowing like I live it because my life has Empathy is so important with that there is a community and much more value. And I realized everything. It’s important just having that ingrained in me. that I have so much worth that for healthcare workers to be Because sometimes you feel so before my diagnosis, I think I would ATTAINMENT ACADEMIC communicating these hard things alone. Sometimes you feel like, have taken for granted. that a lot of people are not going Birch Theater Arts how School many other people are like to fully understand. And then When I was diagnosed, I felt likeOF FINEme right BACHELOR ARTS INnow? THEATER ARTS, 2011 presenting it to us and letting us the weight of the world was on my - Minored in Stage Production know that it’s not the end of the shoulders. When I got that pressure - President of Birch Improv It’sGroup great to remember your self world. This isn’t the 80s and early on me, I had to learn how to of get - Treasurer the Birch Junior Marketing Societyfirst. But after value, that comes 90s, where it was all up in the air. - Member of the BTAS Dance Troupe it off. You know, I’ve dealt with that, you have to remember that It’s not, it’s not that. pressures and hardship before and there’s a whole community out Caprio Prep School I threw them off. I was homeless. there waiting to embrace you, SPECIAL SKILLS Can you share one way for me to WITH A 3.8 GPA, CLASS OF 2007 After I got through VALEDICTORIAN all the BS and waiting to let you in. And find that beMy anspecial ally inskills a more concrete abuse I was of going include singing, and beatboxing, tap and all the trials - President the CPS Dramatics Club community. CONTACT DETAILS: meaningful way? dancing, ballet, and ballroom dancing. I canthrough also Participated and won in the interschool debate championships before and- then another speak English, Mandarin, and French fluently. Managing editor challenge is thrown- at me after I of the school yearbook Home: 123-456-7890 got all that off of me. And so, at I think education is so important Cell: 123-456-7890 that point, what I realized was and not pushing back when I’m@reallygreatsite Facebook/Instagram/Twitter: that I have to just forget about the tryinghello@reallygreatsite.com to give you information, world, you know, the world doesn’t whenwww.reallygreatsite.com I’m trying to educate you. 123 Anywhere St., Any City
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KUWASI BALAGOON AWARDS HONOREE: KNEESHE PARKINSON Kneeshe Parkinson is a motivational speaker, Certified Life Coach, Trainer, Facilitator, Activist, and Founder of KneesheSpeaksSTL~2018. She is an active member of the Positive Women’s Network USA-Missouri State Lead. As an active member, she was invited by Dr. Laura Cheever Deputy Associate Administrator and the Chief Medical Officer of the HIV/AIDS Bureau at Health Resources and Services Administration “Catalyzing Success: Advancing Innovation, Leverage Data, Ending the HIV Epidemic” for people fighting against the disease of HIV. Kneeshe was selected to receive the HIV 50 + Scholarship to attend the United States Conference on AIDS 2018 in Orlando, Florida along with being a part of the Host Committee. Instagram: @kneeshespeaks, Facebook: Kneeshespeaksstl- Speaking Experience, Email: KneesheSpeaks.solution@ gmail.com
What are some legislative/policy proposals that we should fight for to materially affirm the lives of people living wih HIV/AIDS? HIV policy impacts the work that I do globally to support the women who are marginalized in their communities, the women who are not able to speak up or disclose their status in fear of being inflicted with trauma or pain towards their diagnosis. The importance of Ryan White Services and decriminalization matters to reduce barriers and health disparities among all creeds, ethnicities, and socialeconomic statuses. We must continue to do the work for our world.
nor AIDS. I was told back then that I would not be able to have a child due to the effects of the medications and just living with HIV. And those barriers really hindered my life because I wasn’t able to explore the career or goals I had for myself.
don’t want to see it at all. Get as much information as you need. Be thirsty, be vulnerable and use your creativity to make the language look like what it needs to look like. What do you feel is missing in terms of community support for people living with HIV/AIDS?
Ultimately my goals were to enter the United States Navy. So it HIV doesn’t define the individual. was very devastating to receive But you have to lead with another barrier over my life and expectancy. Because people shun challenges to walk ACADEMIC through; that I ATTAINMENT you, they stigmatize you. So you was unaccepted. I was rejected. I have to leap a little higher, to be BirchasTheater School in this community. Once was shunned. Because a personArts accepted living with HIV, I could not access person out, you’re BACHELOR OF FINEaARTS IN finds THEATER ARTS, positive, 2011 those goals to lead- my state, my they have their own views, they Minored in Stage Production President of Birch Improv Group government, my world and go into have their own prejudices towards - Treasurer Society situations active military at that time. of the Birch Junior you,Marketing or judgmental - Member of the BTAS Dance Troupe towards you. And you really just Can you share oneCaprio way forPrep me to Schoolhave to utilize safe spaces, when What are the most prominent, be an ally in a more concrete and you’re dealing with your diagnosis, SPECIAL SKILLS VALEDICTORIAN WITH A 3.8 GPA, CLASS OF 2007 unexpected barriers that most meaningful way? who can you tell? That is a big My special skills include singing, beatboxing, tap - President of the CPS Dramatics Club folks wouldn’t know about? thing. Who can you trust? And a CONTACT DETAILS: dancing, ballet, and ballroom dancing. I can also - Participated and won in the interschool debate championships It’s important to have those allies of times people do not have speak English, Mandarin, and French fluently. - Managing editor of thelot school yearbook Now,Home: I tell 123-456-7890 you today that back at the table 100% of the time to people that they can trust and Cell: 123-456-7890 when I was diagnosed in 1997, keep our vision, our mission, our really lean on to support their Facebook/Instagram/Twitter: @reallygreatsite stigma was very high in my values and beliefs and having those walk. hello@reallygreatsite.com community. And people did difficult conversations with the www.reallygreatsite.com not know how toSt., address people that don’t see it at all or they 123 Anywhere Any CityHIV
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KUWASI BALAGOON AWARDS HONOREE: BRYAN C. JONES Mr Jones has been thriving with AIDS for more than 37 years and has been an advocate/activist for half that time. He is a national founding steering committee member of the International Undetectable =Untransmittable campaign U=U. He has presented both nationally and internationally on mass incarceration, housing instability and HIV as well as U=U. Mr Jones was very instrumental in the forming of the Ohio health modernization movement whose mission is to modernize the HIV non-disclosure laws in Ohio.
forge my own way and learn the Do you have any tips or strategies science, learn to fend for myself. for telling someone you’re close Because it was an ugly time. with that you are living with Had I known I would have went AIDS? on this mad roller coaster ride, I think I would have been scared, I have peripheral neuropathy I think you have to develop an I would have been more scared. which is a condition that I inventory list that says: this is why Because the fear of dying was acquired by taking one of the I was afraid to let you know. And immediate back in the days when earlier medications. And it’s this is why I think it’s important I was diagnosed. But had I known extremely bad. I think at its worse, for you to know. And this gives what I know, I’ve had cancer three the doctors wanted me to use you a framework to hinge the times. Worse, being chained to those two arm brace canes. And conversation on. a prison bed, stage four cancer, I told him that if they didn’t come weighing 117 pounds, I wouldn’t in different colors to match my Also, you need to make sure have believed or I would have not outfit, I couldn’t do that. ACADEMIC ATTAINMENT that your environment is a safe thought I could have endured it. And, and me being a dancer, I was environment which sometimes able to shift my balance. So a lot Birch Theater Arts School may be a public place where What are your hopes and visions of people may think I’m hyper. BACHELOR OF FINEyou’re ARTS able IN THEATER ARTS, 2011 to exit because for the future? But I have to keep it moving in - Minored in Stage Production sometimes it can turn violent. order to keep walking and keep - President of Birch Improv Group My only vision for- the future is to standing. So that is a major barrier Treasurer of the Birch Junior Marketing Society And lastly, be intentional about the legacy Member of the BTAS Dance Troupe it’s your place to give for me that I overcame. it out, but you can’t control how I leave. Because a lot of times, Prep people like to stealCaprio your joy andSchoolsomeone accepts it. And you’ve What did you wish you knew SPECIAL SKILLS got Ato3.8 realize that VALEDICTORIAN GPA,when CLASS OFperson 2007 turn the legacy that you’re leaving WITH when you first got diagnosed?. hears it for the first time, is like My special skills include singing, beatboxing, tapsomething they into want itofto - President thebe. CPS Dramatics Club CONTACT DETAILS: you heard your diagnosis for the dancing, ballet, and ballroom dancing. I canSo also - Participated I’ve got to claim my space and andwon in the interschool debate championships I would say absolutely nothing, speak English, Mandarin, and French fluently. Managing editor of the school yearbook first time. So you have to allow say, This is what I did. And it’s not because if 123-456-7890 I knew anything prior Home: them space and time to adjust to like I want thunderous applause. Cell: 123-456-7890 to, I probably wouldn’t be here. I it or allow them to go their own Facebook/Instagram/Twitter: @reallygreatsite But like the song says, You know, I think the fact that I was diagnosed way. hello@reallygreatsite.com am, who I am and who I am needs when nothing was known is www.reallygreatsite.com no excuses. probably a reason why I had to What is the most prominent kind of unexpected barriers that you face that maybe folks would wouldn’t know about?
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KUWASI BALAGOON AWARDS HONOREE: MARCIÉ CHASE Marcié Chase is a community advocate liaison specialist who advocates for all people including those in solitary confinement, trans people, victims of police violence and people living with HIV/AIDS. She is in the process of forming ALICE (All Lives Inspire Community Empowerment), a program designed to help people of color who are formerly incarcerated transition back into the outside community.
What do you wish more people understood about what it’s like to be living with HIV AIDS in 2020? I think that it’s a miraculous time, I think that more advances have been made. Before, it was very daunting. It’s still filled and surrounded with a bunch of stigma. Now there’s more information, more knowledge, more medication, and more avenues; people are accepting homeopathic and Western medicine. There are more choices now than before; before, it was very limited resources and limited access to medication. Can you share one way for me to be an ally in a more concrete and meaningful way?
affected in the community, have that room to speak, you open the doors to them, but then you take two steps back. What advice do you wish you got earlier, or has helped you the most?
For me, the hanging chad was not the fact of being positive the hanging chad was not having enough resources, enough doctors that can service the community. What’s one (or your favorite) way you have seen yourself grow since your diagnosis?
What people think of you is none of your business. My mother used I made better choices. I’ve had to say it. But it didn’t really come different opportunities, not the full circle for me until like, I was opportunities in the trajectory like, 40, 45. that I thought my life was gonna Because no matter what you go in. It seems like knowing that tried to impress upon, they’re not ATTAINMENT ACADEMIC I’m positive has brought my life buying your story. If they’re just full circle. Where I have not liking you, there’s nothing to Arts into Birch Theater School learned to listen to myself, listen do. BACHELOR OF FINE ARTS IN THEATER ARTS, 2011 to my body. Listen to my mind. - Minored in Stage Production Live within my mind’s eye and not What are the most prominent, - President of Birch Improv Group try to seek others unexpected barriers that most - Treasurer of the Birch Junior Marketing Societyto understand Member of me. Troupe folks wouldn’t know about? the BTAS Dance
I hate the word ally because I Caprio Prep SchoolIt took me a long time to realize think that ally only speaks about Accessing surgeries and being SPECIAL SKILLS VALEDICTORIAN WITH 3.8okay. GPA,Because CLASS OF 2007 the ego of the person that is thatAI’m what could halted is a barrier, it’s a big My special skills include tap Presidentnot of the CPS Dramatics Club claiming allyship. Ally issinging, like a beatboxing, anybody do to me because I am a barrier. First of all,- there’s CONTACT DETAILS: dancing, ballet, ballroom dancing. alsomany practitioners - Participated and won in positive the interschool debate championships scapegoat for aand person to say that I cantoo woman/person? I look at that are speak English, Mandarin, and French - Managing editor of the school yearbook “I have space and I’m going to fluently. Home: 123-456-7890 the bigger pictures of things, not going to operate on a person 123-456-7890 take Cell: up space.” If you say you’re an that may not be healthy or may the small stuff. Never letting them Facebook/Instagram/Twitter: @reallygreatsite ally, then you create opportunities see me shake in my kitten heel not be in transitional care. So hello@reallygreatsite.com and you create environments or boots and skirts. Allah loves all that is hindering the progress of www.reallygreatsite.com where the people that are equally, none more than the next. surgeries for some communities. 123 Anywhere St., Any City
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Journal Prompts: Explore Your Own Strength Now that you’ve had a chance to meet our Kuwasi Balagoon award winners, we wanted to give you a chance to answer some of the same questions we asked them. Take some time and space to really reflect on your answers. Show yourself some love and explore the things you like about yourself, you don’t have to rush. Feel free to write on another sheet of paper, too. Really like your answers and want to share them with the family? Mail them in!
What are your hopes and visions for the future?
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What’s one (or your favorite) way you’ve seen yourself grow this year? What’s a way you hope to continue to grow in 2021?
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What advice have you received that has helped you the most this year? How about in your lifetime?
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What’s one way people inside prison with you can best support you? What’s one way people outside prison can support you?
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The First COVID-19 Vaccine Is Here. Is It Safe for People With HIV? Experts encourage HIV-positive people to get the coronavirus vaccine and say there’s no reason to think it won’t be safe. By Liz Highleyman, courtesy of poz.com (published Dec. 16, 2020) On December 11, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) granted emergency use authorization for the first COVID-19 vaccine in the United States, after an expert advisory panel voted overwhelmingly that its benefits outweigh the risks. That vaccine, from Pfizer and BioNTech, is currently being rolled out nationwide. A second vaccine, from Moderna and the National Institutes of Health, is expected to receive authorization within days. Many people living with HIV are wondering whether the vaccines are appropriate for them and where they will end up in the queue. Reassuringly, current evidence indicates that vaccination is safe for this population, and advocates are asking that HIV-positive people be considered a priority group. COVID-19 vaccines have been developed with unprecedented speed. Early in the pandemic, National Institutes of Health director Anthony Fauci, MD, predicted that a vaccine could be available in 12 to 18 months, but the authorization beat even that optimistic timeline.
But as often happens when things move this quickly, misinformation can spread as fast as the virus. For example, On December 12, Business Insider published an article suggesting that people with HIV should wait to get the vaccine due to potential safety concerns. But most experts disagree. “There is no reason to believe that people with HIV should not get the vaccine. It is not a live vaccine, and it is safe and efficacious across diverse groups,” Monica Gandhi, MD, MPH, medical director of the Ward 86 HIV clinic at Zuckerberg San Francisco General Hospital, told POZ. “I will be encouraging my patients with HIV, especially those on antiretroviral therapy, to get the vaccine. I totally recommend it.” Vaccine Safety and Effectiveness Both the Pfizer/BioNTech and Moderna vaccines employ a novel messenger RNA (mRNA) approach that uses nanoparticles, or fat bubbles, to deliver bits of genetic material that encode instructions for making the SARS-CoV-2 spike
protein, which the coronavirus uses to enter human cells. When injected into a muscle, the cells produce the protein, triggering an immune response. The mRNA degrades quickly in the body, and it does not alter human genes. In a Phase III clinical trial of more than 43,000 volunteers, the Pfizer/BioNTech vaccine was 95.0% effective at reducing the risk of symptomatic COVID-19, according to findings published recently in The New England Journal of Medicine. A total of 170 cases were observed seven days or more after the second dose: 162 in the placebo group and just eight in the vaccine group. Another Phase III trial, which included about 30,000 people, showed that the Moderna vaccine was 94.1% effective, according to FDA briefing documents released ahead of a public advisory committee meeting on December 17. In this study, there were 196 cases of symptomatic COVID-19 observed at least 14 days after the second dose: 185 in the placebo group and 11 in the vaccine group. What’s more, Moderna presented
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additional data showing that the vaccine also appears to reduce asymptomatic infection by two thirds.
or are on a medicine that affects your immune system” should mention this condition to their vaccine provider.
company Sinopharm, which was recently approved in the United Arab Emirates, does use inactivated SARS-CoV-2.
Both trials enrolled people with stable HIV. Advocates successfully pressured Moderna to change eligibility criteria that initially excluded HIV-positive people and asked Pfizer to clarify that people with HIV were eligible.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) states in its interim clinical considerations for the Pfizer vaccine: “Immunocompromised individuals may still receive COVID-19 vaccination if they have no contraindications to vaccination. However, they should be counseled about the unknown vaccine safety profile and effectiveness in immunocompromised populations, as well as the potential for reduced immune responses and the need to continue to follow all current guidance to protect themselves against COVID-19.”
In October, Susan Buchbinder, MD, of the University of California at San Francisco, and colleagues published a letter in The Lancet expressing concern about the use of an adenovirus vector in COVID-19 vaccines. This type of vaccine uses a common cold virus to deliver genes for SARS-CoV-2 proteins.
The Pfizer trial included 120 people with HIV; they entered the study late and therefore were not included in the primary efficacy and safety analysis. The Moderna trial included 176 people with HIV. In both studies, one HIV-positive person in the placebo group and none in the vaccine group developed symptomatic COVID-19. No unusual safety concerns were reported. Trials of other COVID-19 vaccine candidates, including those being developed by AstraZeneca and the University of Oxford, Johnson & Johnson, Novavax and Sanofi/ GlaxoSmithKline, also include people living with HIV. Considerations for People With HIV Although these numbers are small, these findings are reassuring. The Pfizer vaccine is indicated for people living with HIV, and it is likely that the Moderna vaccine will be as well. The FDA’s fact sheet for the Pfizer vaccine notes that people who are “immunocompromised
About two-third of people with HIV in the U.S. have a suppressed viral load, and most these days do not have AIDS or advanced immune suppression. But even people with welltreated HIV may have more subtle immune deficiency and chronic inflammation that could affect coronavirus susceptibility, risk of severe COVID-19 and response to vaccines. The mRNA approach is thought to be safe for people with HIV. These vaccines do not contain weakened or inactivated SARSCoV-2, just genetic instructions for making one of its key proteins. There is no way the vaccine can cause COVID-19, even in immunocompromised people, who generally should not receive live vaccines. But a vaccine from the Chinese
More than a decade ago, an HIV vaccine using adenovirus type 5 (Ad5) as a vector appeared to actually increase the risk of HIV acquisition among men in the STEP and Phambili trials who had preexisting immunity to Ad5 due to prior exposure. The authors suggested that preexisting Ad5 antibodies activated by the vaccine might enhance HIV replication in CD4 T cells or make CD4 cells more susceptible to HIV infection. “On the basis of these findings, we are concerned that use of an Ad5 vector for immunization against [SARS-CoV-2] could similarly increase the risk of HIV-1 acquisition among men who receive the vaccine,” they wrote. “This important safety consideration should be thoroughly evaluated before further development of Ad5 vaccines for SARS-CoV-2.” The Pfizer/BioNTech and Moderna mRN vaccines do not use adenovirus vectors. The AstraZeneca/University of Oxford vaccine uses a chimpanzee adenovirus, so
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preexisting immunity in humans would not be a concern. However, a vaccine being developed by the Chinese company CanSino Biologics does use human Ad5 as a vector, and the Russian Sputnik V vaccine uses both Ad5 and Ad26.
“There is no reason to think these vaccines will be less safe for people with HIV. Both include some of the genetic material from SARS-CoV-2 (the virus that causes COVID-19) but not the whole virus. This means they are not live vaccines and so are no less safe in people with damaged immune systems. It is possible that people with HIV might not respond as well to the vaccine. This means that the vaccine might trigger a weaker response in people with HIV.” Should People With HIV Be Prioritized? Some experts argue that people with HIV should be prioritized to receive COVID-19 vaccines. Health care workers and residents of long-term care facilities will be first in line. After that, other groups vying for priority include frontline essential workers, people over age 65 and those with comorbidities, or underlying health conditions that raise the risk for severe COVID-19 and death.
art by bec young, courtesy of justseeds
Referring to the Pfizer and AstraZeneca/University of Oxford vaccines, guidance from the British HIV Association (BHIVA) and the Terrence Higgins Trust states:
A National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine committee has issued a framework to help policymakers plan for equitable vaccine allocation. Their proposed Phase 1b includes people with two or more underlying conditions that put them at “significantly higher risk,” for example, cancer, chronic kidney or lung disease, serious heart conditions, type 2 diabetes, obesity or immunosuppression due to an organ transplant. Many people living with HIV fall into this category because of coexisting conditions. Phase 2 consists of people with underlying conditions that put them at “moderately higher risk,”
including any one of the Phase 1b conditions. Other conditions that “might put individuals at increased risk” should also be considered for prioritization, including asthma, hypertension, immunosuppression due to a bone marrow transplant, HIV/ AIDS, liver disease, use of corticosteroid medications and pregnancy. In the United Kingdom, people with HIV fall into priority group 6 (out of 9), which includes those up to age 64 with “underlying health conditions which put them at higher risk of serious disease and mortality.” (People over 65 are in in a higher priority group regardless of HIV status.) However, BHIVA notes, some HIV-positive
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people may be at higher risk and eligible for priority group 4 (“clinically extremely vulnerable individuals”), including those with a current CD4 count below 50, those who have ever had a very low CD4 count, those with a CD4 count below 200 plus other risk factors such as a detectable viral load or comorbidities, and those with recent serious HIV-related illnesses. While small early studies did not find that having HIV was associated with a greater risk of SARS-CoV-2 infection or severe COVID-19, some more recent larger studies have seen an association. In light of this new evidence, and acknowledging “the
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intersectionality of factors that put people at higher risk for COVID-19 that are so prevalent among people living with HIV,” a coalition of advocates—including AVAC, the Black AIDS Institute, Let’s Kick ASS (AIDS Survivor Syndrome), NASTAD, the Prevention Access Campaign, SisterLove, the Treatment Action Group and the Well Project—are issuing an open letter urging the CDC’s Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices to consider people living with HIV a priority group for the receipt of COVID-19 vaccines. In addition, NASTAD is calling for state and local vaccination plans to include community networks and trusted providers that are best able to reach communities disproportionately
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impacted by COVID-19, including health department HIV and hepatitis programs, community-based organizations and harm reduction service providers. “A vaccine presents an incredible opportunity to stem the tide of the COVID-19 pandemic, but only if federal, state, and local governments commit to addressing the systemic racism and inequality that are driving the disproportionate impact of the pandemic on communities of color,” NASTAD executive director Stephen Lee said in a statement. “COVID-19 has shone a spotlight on the many ways our healthcare system is profoundly broken, including for individuals living with and at risk for HIV and hepatitis.”
A Summary of What You Just Read About the COVID-19 Vaccine To recap the high points of this article: • The currently used COVID-19 vaccination is safe for those with HIV • Advocates are asking that people with HIV be among the first to receive the vaccine • There is no reason that people with HIV need to wait to get the vaccine; experts encourage those who are HIV positive to get the vaccination as soon as they are able • Medical trials have shown that the vaccine is around
•
•
•
•
95% effective in reducing risk of COVID symptoms No safety concerns were present in those with HIV who participated in the medical trial of the vaccine If you receive the vaccine, mention to your doctor that you have a compromised immune system before vaccination There is no way the vaccine can cause COVID-19, even in immunocompromised people, who generally should not receive live vaccines. An important quote from the piece: “A vaccine presents an incredible opportunity
to stem the tide of the COVID-19 pandemic, but only if federal, state, and local governments commit to addressing the systemic racism and inequality that are driving the disproportionate impact of the pandemic on communities of color,” NASTAD executive director Stephen Lee said in a statement. “COVID-19 has shone a spotlight on the many ways our healthcare system is profoundly broken, including for individuals living with and at risk for HIV and hepatitis.”
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Letters from our Inside Family
Talking About Loss
I personally can’t determine the position of maturity in which any individual will or would feel “in the face of loss. But we are all human and in some deeply similar way, “loss is loss.” And it’s never a good feeling to lose. Especially not when we are talking about losing someone we love! This is a heartbreaking experience nonetheless. But I do believe the process of how we break is really important to the way we will mend! And just like any other wound or broken bone, etc. etc. the way we tend to it … or set it back in place is just as important as giving it the chance to be itself; A WOUND. And allow it its opportunity to heal. However we never want to get stuck in our loss. And the key in my understanding is in the art of “realism.” But I go back to my first words above … because a level of maturity is developed in and through life … so I recommend every one of us count ourselves not only worthy of greatness but solid enough to receive it: through realism! Keeping it real with ourselves and everyone is a thing we should all be into! I mean isn’t it easier to deal with the truth? Even if it hurts? At least it’s solid! The truth is something we can count on and stand on! My point is! Life is an experience we all get to have. A far more beautiful
experience (in my opinion) if we have it “in and through” the eyes of a realist. If you lie to yourself, you don’t clean your wound, put the splint in place, etc. etc. And in reality, you fail to rest in the pure reality of your loss. And in doing this, some of us carry it with us the wrong way … never truly healed! Nobody wants to lose … but it’s a part of life! So when we lose someone, we should lose them the correct way … which is feel what you feel and of course … cry it out! But remember the good times and develop the personal way that you will carry their legend in your heart and mind. However great or small! But develop it and shine! Because the reality is, life is too short to spend it suffering in the inevitable. In reality, which one of our loved ones would desire us carrying on too long in a state of sadness? Or even worse: letting a part of us die with them, the way some of us do. The real deal is: none of them would want that. (long story short) Be strong and develop your own good way to cherish the treasures you received from the one you loved and lost. And move forward with purpose. Because one day, we will lose you as well … or maybe you will lose me first? But we are all lights meant to shine in and through each other’s lives, “in spite of loss.”
And those that we lost played such an important role on our lives that we shine all the brighter when they pass. As if we could absorb their energy like an inheritance. And let them go. Let them rest in peace! Each one teach one! With the sincere loyalty of truth! Your sister, Tosha (CA) With special thanks to my partner, Delia. Your tough love makes me unbreakable. Five years is a long time, huh?
Black & Pink, First off I wanna give a shout out to all my Black & Pink Family. I hope and pray that all of y’all are in yet good health as we all struggle to get through this COVID-19 pandemic that’s going around. Also please forgive me in taking so long in letting y’all all that has happened with me (R.C.) since I last wrote to B&P. I have been in a coma and the doctor’s thought I might die but by the grace of God, I survived the stabbing I got in my lower stomach. My life during the coma was pretty much touch and go at that time but I’m alright now. And now I want to let you all know what’s been going on within the prison system down here in Florida, which basically consists of officers jumping on us LGBTQs
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and all gang members doing the same to us. Cause mostly all of these officers either give the majority of the major gangs free reign or the officers are scared of them and look the other way on whatever the gang members do to us LGBTQs. And then after we end up either in a coma or dead, six feet deep pushing up daisies, the certain officers that were there at that time say they didn’t see nothing but the camera footage shows them watching everything that went down. And they’re still around here, working at these prisons across the state of Florida. Well my loving brothers and sisters all over the USA and B&P, is there anyway you can put me in contact with Kitty Kat in NC cause that is the kind of woman I need to have in my corner. So Kitty Kat, if you’re reading this, get at me. Girl, we can make a difference together. Well this is all for now. I love all of my people! LGBT Pride. Mr. Renee (FL) Greetings, Black & Pink Family! I am Ian, a 30-year-old bisexual white guy currently at ____, MS. I have been receiving Black & Pink for a few years now but have never written in. But as we all watch this coronavirus sweep across the world, I find myself with something I’d like to share: this crisis is truly a way for the greater, wonderful, amazingly capable LGBTQ community to
stand together in unity both for ourselves and those around us. Right now, federal prisons nationwide are on lockdown; I have one hour on M/W/F to take a shower, use the phone, use the computer or simply enjoy not being locked in my room. In times like this, brothers and sisters, we can choose to think solely for ourselves, or we can take a few moments and seek unity and compassion for one another. Fill a bag up with hot water for someone else. Slide someone a book you’re done with. Even something as small as saying hello (from six feet away, of course!) and making sure someone is okay can bring a hint of sunshine into a long and increasingly gray lockdown. The smallest of kindnesses can have the largest of impacts. Brothers and sisters, we are a family. The coronavirus does not care about your gender of birth, your chosen gender, your race or skin color, your orientation, how much money you have or what sort of case you have. It can affect each and every one of us. But so too can compassion, unity and love for our fellows. If we cannot hide from COVID, nor should we hide all that we stand for. I feel it is just as important to celebrate the power of our collective might as it is to our individual uniqueness. This nightmare affects us all; we all fear for ourselves, our families and loved ones, each other. But even in our isolation, we can
continue to stand united against discrimination or bullying or assault. In unity, we are strong and we can make a difference in the lives around us - even those that hate us. Show everyone the boundless love we have within our hearts; I promise you, compassion and care can sometimes make not just a difference but the difference. Rarely does the world need more compassion in it than moments like this. Let’s bring it, family. A great big shout out to Dominique and the Black & Pink crew - you all are true gifts to so many! Stay strong and solidified in love. Your brother, Ian B. (MS)
Black & Pink, Hello from Texas. Well I for one have heard way too much about this COVID-19, dangit! I’m almost a doctor now! Lol. Nah, for real I just wanted to holla ta ya and remind everyone about a very bad disease that is going around all over the U.S. Ready for it? It is called “The Prison Industrial Complex.” Man, it’s killing me. So here’s how it really works (in Texas at least). Our prisons are run by lazy, self-serving, anglo Americans. OK OK only the keys and the administration are. But look, when something has
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art by Raul G. (TX)
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to be fixed, it is an inmate. We make our own clothes, toilets, mattresses, sheets, blankets, shoes, socks, towels, boots, shower slides, soap. When I was at Galveston Co. jail, they gave me soap made by TDCJ! Texas sells what we make for profit and all we get is room and board! Texas inmates do not get “gang pay,” we do not get paid at all! We work in the fields and grow corn, cotton, potatoes, etc. If you don’t go to work, you get punished: cell restriction, rec restriction, commissary restriction, loss of good time, loss of visits, loss of phone, etc. My question is this: how do you expect an inmate to be able to change for the better when you treat us like slaves? I know we have to find a comfort zone to fight off this diseases, “P.I.C.” I use radio, books, and pen pals. I’ve met a lot of very good people in B&P, A.B.O. Comix, Austin ABC, TPI and they have all helped to lift my spirits. I practice pranayama and dhyana yoga. I want to encourage everyone both inside and out to love yourself and find inner peace, find a way to enjoy life. Look, I’m serving a life sentence and I’m happy because I still got my life. I love all of you, stay strong. Tammy Beth (TX)
To all my LGBTQ Family,
Times like these in the USA with the COVID-19 killing 10 people a day, we are needing each other now more than ever. Here in my home state (MO), it’s looking pretty bad. I’m living in (MDOC) _______ prison and I’m awaiting release to go to another. But I’ve been locked up here, I’ve been trying to keep in touch with my loved ones and making sure they stay disease free as we B&P members should stay disease free as well. But the prison staff here, that’s a whole other story. We prisoners look at it like this: if the COVID-19 was to be in a prison and an offender got sick, it’s because an officer or staff member walked it right on in. But hopefully, we can all overcome this deadly disease and continue to live on in life. Well, I’ll end it here and leaving y’all with my love and my powerful strength. Signing off, Andre (MO) Feedback for Olivia L.V. (TX) Reading your inside prison story, it’s not only a sad situation, you are fighting for your innocence but feeling like you don’t have the right support. Trust me, starting off in prison it was feeling like there was no support for me. But me not giving up and being strong, I started to see the support from family and friends. There’s always help further than what you can see, you just have to keep on looking and one day you will find it.
Hello, my B&P family! My name is Twister. Twisted Twister. I’ve been receiving B&P for about six years now and I love all the stories and poems. Poems help you understand who a person is and what’s really going on with them. Well, I want to address a situation that I believe all of the LGBTQ community has gone through. Because I think most gays, lesbians, and trans people, etc. are spiritual by nature, more than most. I don’t know why we are but it’s true. So, I’m at a crossroads on how to be gay and accepted by God. Because it clearly states in the Bible that homosexuality, immorality is a sin. And it’s not who you’re with that makes it a sin but the action of sex with that person. So, can someone please help me clear my heart of this conflict? Because its become more of an obsession than a curiousness. I’ve also wrote to Lesbian Connection about the same. But I want to hear your comments/ opinions too. This is going to be an unhealthy battle for me mentally and emotionally. I have a wonderful wife that went home and I’d like to be with her with a clean conscience knowing its good, not the works of the devil. You know I’ve been gay since I was 12 and now at 27, I’m having all these doubts. Hmph! I think maybe I’m having a midlife crisis. LOL. Whatever it is, help shed some light. I go
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home in 2022 and I’m trying to get my mind right. Tweety, I look at your pic right now and I know 100 percent I’m in love with you. But I don’t want to be by your side with doubts of who I am next to you. Julianna “Twister” M. (TX)
Dear Black & Pink, Hello there LGBTQ community! Hope everything is well for everybody there in the Black & Pink Community. Thank you all volunteers who have put so much effort of your time during this pandemic crisis. My love goes out to all of you guys working really hard to make this happen. My name is Katrina Marie, I am a Latina trans
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woman here in west Texas. I can’t believe that I finally turned 50 years old. I feel good inside and outside. It’s been a long struggle road but I made it to my new unit. Last year, I was transferred (Whow!), what a surprise that was. Leaving all of my trans sisters behind there was so sad for me and them. Due to the renovation on the dorms, a lot of us were transferred to different locations. They gave us a thumbs up that we would be leaving within 24 hours. So the news traveled around the unit that I was leaving. I was able to hug and kiss those who were close to me and the young trans girls who I mentored while I was there. Not only did I leave my sisters behind, I also had to depart from my husband of two and a half years, Dominick. I miss you and love you dearly. Seeing him cry tore me up into pieces, I never experienced a situation like that. The good thing about it is that me and his mom are very close and we correspond with each other and that is a great feeling. His mom gives me all the tea about him. But I tell her I’d rather not know. Back to my journey, I was on the road for two months, landed at state-jail facility that helps TDCJ with the overflow of inmates. Wow! They were expecting a “queen” with boobs to get off the bus, an
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Letters & Poetry from our Inside Family officer who was very respectful about the situation escorted me to the infirmary. There, I sat for a long time until higher officials got there. I kept my mouth shut to see what they were gonna do with me. Sometimes us girls have to keep our mouths shut and be patient without getting ourselves into a wreck-ya! You girls know what I’m talking about. There, I was escorted to a dorm and they placed me at the first bunk from the main door. There for a while I was escorted everywhere I went. I felt like Princess Diana. Moving up - I was there 45 days. From there I was reclassified to ____. There, I went through the same situation as soon as I got off the bus. They placed me in a storage room for six hours until I was escorted directly to the UCC officials. This white lady tells me “what are you doing here, you’re gonna cause a riot with them boobs you got.” I told her my guess is good as yours. All of the high rank officials came questioning me, how I got there. They made a big ol’ scene like if I had murdered somebody. At the time, being on the road for a long time, I was already frustrated from the bus ride, not counting how long I had to stand before they came to escort me to UCC officials. The warden comes in, she tells me
that I have to be reassigned to another unit, the safe prison lady tells me, we can barely handle the gay boys in population, much less you. You dropped a bombshell on us. Some of you who are from Texas and have done time at an old brick unit know how small the cells are. Anyways. I was escorted to segregations, put in the cell all alone, not knowing what my next journey would be like. By the time I made it to the hole, it was around 8 p.m. I laid down. At midnight, they came to advise me to get ready cause the van was there to pick me up. I was so tired and exhausted. All I remember is being escorted through a hallway and out the back door. I asked them where I was going, all I heard was ___ Unit. Got there around 3 a.m., was escorted to the bottom of the basement where they put all the trans women and protective custody inmates waiting to be reclassified. To those who don’t know about ___ Unit, it’s a co-ed unit for men and women. Of course those who have been there, they always put us trans women under them. Sometimes, we run into them in the hallway and they let us socialize with them, depending on the officer on duty. I sat there at ___ for 14 days, spent Thanksgiving 2019 there, met a few girls that were going
home, a few that were being reassigned like myself. Now here I am at ____ Unit, down deep west Texas. Buckle up, listen to this shit. Get off the bus once again. The officer working the back gate tells me, are you supposed to be here? Check this out - one of the inmates on the bus tells me the scoop about the unit. So I’m already aware of what I’m gonna have to go through once again. I’m already told there’s no trans women on the unit. That I would be the first in a long time. Imagine that. I get settled in, place in population with a dorm full of trade, you girls know what I’m talking about. I felt out of place, no girls, no gay people around, no one to talk to. Finally in a couple of days, everything sets in. Before the pandemic set in, I was able to go to church because I was given a message that the gay community wanted to meet me. Now I’m feeling more comfortable. Pandemic hits, everything shuts down. Medical staff here treats me with respect and I’m very well known now. Wherever I go, they see me and high-rank officials ask me if I need anything or is anybody bothering me. My hormone treatment is going great without any problems. Injections are given to me on time. I fix my hair very girly, put my makeup on, but not too
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Letters & Poetry from our Inside Family much and officials greet me and tell me to stay out of the way. I met a guy but it’s too soon, not ready to get involved yet. Here it is, in November already, time has gone by fast. To all of my trans sisters here in Texas, especially at Stiles, I miss you guys. Stay strong, courageous. The battle is not over. Hopefully Mr. Biden will do for us like he said he would. To all LGBTQ community, we are all warriors through this pandemic crisis. Love, not hate, one another. Stay strong mentally and spiritually, Katrina Marie (TX)
Hello, My name is Ashley Ann Grace. I would like to drop a couple of lines to the love of my life. Y’all might know her. She gave me y’all’s address. I met her about three months ago here on ___ and we happened to kick it off. I felt she was my soul mate. But I was devastated when they put her on the chain. And I didn’t get to really show her how I really felt about her. She was my life. She always made me smile at life. And I was happy to be privileged to have her in my life. And I hope that some kind of way, y’all could let her know that I will never
stop loving her and I will get her name on me and I will see her again in the future. I will always be here. She showed me many things, namely that there are still people in here who are like me. So please, I will always have you on my mind. Baby, never doubt that. I have shown you and you have shown me. So there are no words to express our love! Have my heart, ALL OF MY HEART. Yours truly, Ashley Ann (TX)
HI BNP Family, It’s me, Amber D. I’m transexual and trust me, I’ve seen and been through some very harsh conditions in prisons. I’ve been in prison since I was 15 years old. Trust me, it is very hard being a trans woman or a gay boy in prison. We are put in positions to defend ourselves and we live in a constant warzone of hate and discrimination that can really take a toll on our hearts. But we must stand strong and with pride and walk our beautiful walk with our heads held high and with a beautiful smile on our faces and always keep positive thoughts and we will always be okay. You’re not alone, girls and boys and LGBTQIA family! You are so beautiful and so strong and our family together outnumbers the ones who hate us. We must remember that those who judge us are either infatuated with
us or very confused with their own identity (and don’t forget, immature). We are resilient! We are beautiful! We are united! We cannot be broken! Amber (NV)
I Am Hate My name is Hate; I destroy homes, I tear families apart. I take away love and that’s just the start. I’m more deadly than COVID and colder than cold. The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold You don’t want me but I’m easily found I’m all around you - in jails, schools and even in town. In hearts of the rich; and hearts of the poor I’m just down the street, and probably next door I’m made in your heart, but not as you think I can be the blade on your skin that starts to sink. I can be in your family and in your neighborhood. If I put you to death, I’ve done what I could. I create fame or so they claim. I’m sure you know me, my name is Hate. My feeling is ruthless, come near me you’ll see. But if you do, you may never go free.
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Letters & Poetry from our Inside Family I’ll make you cry. Or possibly cause you to die. Try me once, I let you go. Try me twice, I’m part of your soul When I become used, you steal and you lie. You do what you want and you have to die. The crimes you commit from my addictive charms, Won’t be worth the pain you cause inside hearts. You’ll lie to your mom, and steal from dad. When you see them shedding tears, you won’t feel sad.
Screw your morals and how you were raised. Let me be your conscience and be the guide of your ways. I separate people from God and turn away friends. I’ll help you meet a traumatic end. I’ll destroy and consume, with nowhere to hide. I’ll always be with you, I like a good fight. I’ll take everything - your family and your home, Your friends and money, and you’ll feel all alone. I take and I take, I’m not one to
give. When I finish, you’ll no longer wish to live. Face me but be warned, I’m not playing a game, Give me a chance, I’ll make you insane. I’ll cut on your body, and control your mind, I’ll completely own you, your heart and soul will be mine. I’ll give you nightmares in your bed, Cause you to hear voices inside your head. The sweats, shakes and visions you see,
art by Michael L. (VA)
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I’ll make you know those are gifts from me. It will be too late, you’ll know in your heart. You will be all mine and I’ll break you apart. You’ll regret you met me, they always do. You cannot avoid me, I’ll always find you. I dare you to challenge me and try to be bold. Let’s see if you last, how long is your hold? Or you can submit and then feel my pain. Let’s try this again, now, what do you say? Let me be master and you be my slave, Or try and fight me but send one to the grave. Since we met, and all that’s been said is none but true, Stand up against me, it’s all up to you. I can cause misery, more than words can tell. I’d like to see you fight me and send me to hell. So you want to eradicate me? Well, we shall see. You know who I am. I Am Hate I wrote this because I know all too well the repercussions of hate. When I discharge, I plan to work to eradicate as much hate as possible. Love is love, we win. I love all of my LGBTQIA+ brothers and sisters. Blessed be to all. Love, your Latin princess, Bella (NM)
The Special Ones Sometimes in life - we fail to see, The little things in life, so close to thee, The little hands that ask for love, From those so far up above. Never slowing, moving so very fast, We fail to see what really lasts, Little eyes, that watch us very close For them, love means the most. Nothing we know breaks so easily, As a little heart, we fail to see, All that’s asked is for a little time, A few moments that don’t cost a dime. But what’s so precious to these little ones, That love the appearance of every sun. To mold these happy, happy souls, I, a friend, who fulfills this role. There is only one shot at this love, As grown-ups, so far up above, Fulfill their duty here on Earth To raise and love, teach and love first. To hold these hands so tight, And insure that all will be alright The Greatest Gift that we can give, Is to teach them how to live.
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By giving just a little love, Shows there is a God above. -Wolf T. (MA)
Dancing with the Devil Depression sets in and dark clouds hover over my soul. Madness screaming, begging me to lose control. I breathe hard and heavy, trying to catch a steady breath My mind racing with suicidal thoughts to end this with death. I tell myself I have a beautiful niece I want to meet someday. Look into her eyes and tell her I’m sorry for being away . My heart is broken over that, I’m in a state of misery. But if I’m dead and gone, all my issues will be history. I pray hard and I cry out to God to please help me. Let me be strong and help me to finally see. That while the devil’s dancing because he thinks he won this game. I’m secretly laughing inside because I feel the same. So until God answers that prayer I’m sending from my HELL. I’ll be dancing with the devil here inside my cell. -Angel O. (TX)
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Download the full series: NNEDV.org/GetInvolved
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Call for Submissions Seeking erotic short stories, poems, and art by Black & Pink incarcerated and free-world family members for a new zine. To be mailed, art cannot include full nudity. Please send submissions addressed to Black & Pink — HOT PINK. This is a voluntary project, and no money will be offered for submissions, but you might get the chance to share your spicy story with many other readers! The zine will be sent one or two times per year. To subscribe to upcoming issues of HOT PINK, write to our address, Black & Pink — HOT PINK.
Black & Pink Mailing Information Write to us at: Black & Pink — [see table below] 6223 Maple St. #4600 Omaha, NE 68104 Please note that you can send multiple requests/ topics in one envelope! Due to concerns about consent and confidentiality, you cannot sign up other people for the newspaper. However, we can accept requests from multiple people in the same envelope. There’s no need to send separate requests in more than one envelope.
If you are being released and would still like to receive the Black & Pink News, please let us know where to send it! Penpal program info: LGBTQ+ people who are incarcerated can list their information and a short non-sexual ad online where people can see it and write. There will be forms in upcoming issues. Mail info: We are several months behind on our mail. There will be a delay, but please keep writing! Email us: members@blackandpink.org
If you would like to request:
Address the envelope to:
Newspaper Subscriptions, Address Change, or Volunteering
Black & Pink — General
Newspaper Submissions — Stories, Articles, Poems, Art
Black & Pink — Newspaper Submissions
Black & Pink Organization or Newspaper Feedback
Black & Pink — Feedback
Black & Pink Religious Zine
Black & Pink — The Spirit Inside
Advocacy Requests (include details about the situation and thoughts about how calls or letters might help)
Black & Pink — Advocacy
Submit to or request Erotica Zine
Black & Pink — HOT PINK
Stop Your Newspaper Subscription
Black & Pink — STOP Subscription
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Coloring by Dominique Morgan, Executive Director of Black & Pink
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art by Robert W. (IL)