EDITORIAL
Editor-in-Chief - Caleb Stultz
CREATIVE SERVICES
Creative Director - Haimanti Germain
Graphic Designer - Aspen Smit
DIRECTOR OF SALES
Marsha Blacker
MULTIMEDIA
Bryan Kennison SOCIAL
Abigail Feldkamp
Laurie Jonhatan Jeff
THUNDER OVER LOUISVILLE ANNOUNCES 2026 THEME
INSPIRED BY AMERICA’S 250TH BIRTHDAY
‘Thunder
in the U.S.A.’ to headline April 18 return after 2025 flooding cancellation
BY CALEB STULTZ
On Saturday, April 18, 2026, Thunder Over Louisville will return to downtown Louisville with a new patriotic theme honoring the impending 250th anniversary of the United States.
The 37th annual Kentucky Derby Festival will have the theme “Thunder in the U.S.A.” according to the event’s organizers. The air show, soundtrack, and one of the biggest fireworks displays in the country will all be shaped by the red, white, and blue motif.
In preparation for the 2026 Kentucky Derby on May 2 at Churchill Downs, over 70 Kentucky Derby Festival events will officially begin with the day-long celebration at Waterfront Park.
What to expect on April 18
The celebrations start earlier in the day, and the air show takes off at 3 p.m., just like in years past. The U.S. Air Force Viper Demo is one of the planned military and civilian aircraft demonstrations. Along with big transport planes like the C-5M Galaxy and C-17, visitors can also anticipate flyovers from aircraft like the F-15, F-16, F/A-18, and F-35C.
Units of the Kentucky National Guard will also participate in a special tactics demonstration.
consider their transportation options. Because downtown parking is limited and crowds can reach 600,000, organizers advise carpooling, biking, or taking public transportation to avoid traffic congestion after the event.
Sponsors
and broadcast
Along with returning sponsors UPS, Caesars Southern Indiana, LG&E, Meijer, and UA Local 502, Ford Motor Company will make its debut as a presenting sponsor in 2026.
As official broadcast partners, WLKY television and MIX 106.9 radio will enable viewers to watch or listen from home.
With an estimated yearly economic impact of $114 million, Thunder Over Louisville continues to be one of the area’s top tourist destinations after almost 40 years. Organizers say that this year’s event aims to combine the high-energy spectacle that characterizes Thunder with patriotic celebration, with its 2026 theme based on a historic national milestone.
Admission, viewing and parking
With a 2026 Pegasus Pin, admission to Waterfront Park is free. Pins go on sale in early March and cost $7 in advance and $10
Starlight Aerial Productions’ sixth annual drone show will light up the sky over the Ohio River with coordinated formations starting at 9 p.m. Around 9:30 p.m. is when the Zambelli fireworks show, which is choreographed to an original soundtrack, is scheduled to start.
at the gate.
In addition to riverfront sites in Southern Indiana like Jeffersonville Riverstage Park and the Ohio River Greenway, popular viewing spots include the Big Four Lawn, the Meijer Family Fun Zone, and Waterfront Park’s North Great Lawn.
Officials advise participants to carefully
Thunder Over Louisville will center around
“America 250” as its theme.
Fans of the milestone event from all over the country will flock to Louisville to see the milestone event.
Kathryn Harrington
LOUISVILLE OFFICIALS WARN COLLEGE ATHLETICS “RUNNING OUT OF TIME” AMID RISING COSTS
BY CALEB STULTZ
Leaders at the University of Louisville are raising concerns about the long-term financial viability of collegiate athletics, stating quite bluntly that “the math no longer works.”
This week, UofL President Dr. Gerry Bradley, Athletics Director Josh Heird, and Board of Trustees Chairman Dr. Laurence “Larry” Benz published a white paper outlining three major reforms they believe are necessary to stabilize collegiate sports: a hard, enforceable spending cap, a governing body with actual enforcement power, and congressional action on uniform rules.
“The math no longer works,” the white paper states. Officials emphasize that Louisville’s situation is not unique. Ohio State reportedly lost $37.7 million the same year it won a national title, and Penn State carries more than $500 million in athletics-related debt.
How Much Louisville Spends on Sports
According to the paper, the department spends about $167 million annually but generates roughly $155 million in revenue, resulting in a recurring deficit. Reserves that once stood at $34 million have dwindled to around $3.4 million.
To cover a $20.5 million new revenue-sharing obligation to athletes, the school tapped a $25 million line of credit.
Instead of blaming these issues on poor management, the Louisville report frames them as structural. The university claims that the patchwork system created by state-by-state variations in name, image, and likeness (NIL) regulations, ongoing litigation and disjointed governance is unsustainable.
“The current model is widening the financial gap between the richest conferences and everyone else.”
The trio’s proposals include:
• Congressional Action: Support for the SCORE Act and SAFE Act, which would establish uniform NIL rules and allow colleges to negotiate media rights collectively.
• Governing Authority: Creation of a congressionally chartered governing body or empowering the NCAA to enforce uniform rules, with penalties for noncompliance.
• Spending Cap: A professional sports-style salary cap to ensure competitive balance and prevent unchecked spending.
The white paper also cites Louisville as an example: despite the university’s athletics department generating nearly $3.84 billion in total economic impact over the last three fiscal years, the department currently faces a $12.5 million deficit that is expected to grow under upcoming NCAA settlement rules.
The report comes shortly after the SEC and Big
Ten issued a joint white paper opposing amendments to the Sports Broadcasting Act of 1961, which would have allowed for unified media rights negotiations.
“The FTI study reads like a sophisticated defense of the status quo by the parties who benefit most from it … if centralized rights management is the proven model for every successful professional league in the world, why would college sports be the one exception?” – Larry Benz, X
Louisville’s leaders stress that the document is a warning, not a declaration of emergency. “Treading water is not a long-term plan,” the white paper states. Without structural reform, officials warn that the sustainability of broad-based athletics, including Olympic sports, could be at risk.
horses come out of the gates!
KENTUCKY DERBY MUSEUM HAT SHOW
Sunday, March 22
Kentucky Derby Museum | All ages
If Derby fashion is your sport, this is your preseason draft. The Kentucky Derby Museum Hat Show delivers a runway preview of couture designs from featured milliners, plus the chance to collaborate on your own standout look. Add brunch bites, complimentary cocktails, and a DJ-driven atmosphere, and you’ve got a stylish launch to Derby season.
DILLARDÌS SPRING FASHION SHOW AT CAESARS SOUTHERN INDIANA
Thursday, March 26
Caesars Southern Indiana | 21+
This 21+ runway event pairs Derby-ready fashion with a full dinner service, boutique shopping, and cocktails before the show even begins. Expect spring trends, statement fascinators, and polished looks that make planning your festival wardrobe far easier. With steak, salmon croquettes, dessert, wine, and even a discounted hotel stay, it’s less a fashion show and more a full night out.
FILLIES DERBY BALL AT OMNI LOUISVILLE HOTEL
Thursday, March 26
Caesars Southern Indiana | 21+
Black-tie glamour meets Derby tradition at this year’s “Royal Masquerade”–themed ball, complete with cocktails, dinner, auctions, and dancing until midnight. The highlight is the ceremonial crowning of the 2026 Queen of the Royal Court, decided by the iconic spin of the wheel. With live music from The Juice Box Heroes and a Venetian-inspired backdrop, it’s the grand, glittering kickoff to Festival season.
REPUBLIC BANK BOURBONVILLE
Thursday, April 2
Ice House | 21+
If you prefer your Derby celebrations neat, this 21+ tasting event brings together signature pours from some of Kentucky’s top distilleries, plus bourbon-inspired bites to match. General admission covers drinks, cuisine, a commemorative glass, and an event pin, while VIP access adds early entry, a lounge experience, and an exclusive tasting.
YOUR GUIDE TO THE 2026
Kentucky Derby Festival
BY: CALEB STULTZ
CAESARS FOUNDATION OF FLOYD COUNTY FAMFEST
Floyd County Family YMCA, New Albany, IN | All ages
Cross the river for a family-friendly kickoff to Derby Festival fun with games, activities, and outdoor entertainment at the Floyd County Family YMCA. Attendees can snag a custom FamFest event pin for access to pin-admission events throughout the Festival.
BLOCK PARTY PRESENTED BY HUMANA & PARK COMMUNITY CREDIT UNION
Saturday, April 4
Norton Healthcare Sports & Learning Center | All ages
This free, day-long celebration at the Norton Healthcare Sports & Learning Center highlights local talent, minority-owned businesses, and community resources. Guests can enjoy food trucks, live entertainment, a vendor marketplace, wellness activities, and interactive programming from noon to 6 p.m.
PNC TOUR DE LOU
Sunday, April 12
Big Four Lawn, Louisville | All levels
Hop on two wheels for the 13th annual Derby Festival cycling experience, with in-person and virtual options for riders of all levels. Routes range from a new 12-mile beginner ride to a 62.1-mile Metric Century, taking you through Louisville’s parks, neighborhoods, and historic sites. Start and finish on the Big Four Lawn for a scenic, social, and fitness-focused day during Festival season.
THE CHILDRENÌS TEA WITH THE KENTUCKY DERBY FESTIVAL PRINCESSES
Sunday, April 12
The Olmsted | Ages 3–8
Step into “A Mad Hatter Wonderland” for an afternoon of whimsical tea, interactive activities, and playful characters. Children ages 3–8 can enjoy treats, photo opportunities, and a topsy-turvy tea with the Mad Hatter himself.
MORNING LINE
PRESENTED BY AT&T AND KENTUCKY LOTTERY
Monday, April 13 & Tuesday, April 14
Kentucky Derby Museum | All ages
For two early mornings, regional radio stations broadcast live from the Kentucky Derby Museum, turning the space into Derby season’s unofficial media hub. Expect interviews with Festival leadership, the Queen and Royal Court, plus appearances from local celebrities, jockeys, trainers, and even state leaders. It’s a behind-the-scenes buzz builder that’s helped kick off Derby excitement for more than three decades.
STOCK YARDS BANK $1 MILLION DOLLAR HOLE-INONE GOLF CONTEST℠
Thursday, April 16 – Sunday, April 26
(Finals April 28)
Seneca Golf Course | All ages
Take a $1 swing at a $1 million prize during this long-running Derby Festival favorite, open to everyone from beginners to scratch golfers. Daily preliminaries lead to semi-finals and a
championship round, with $5,000 awarded if no one aces the million-dollar shot. Special themed discount days for seniors, students, juniors, veterans, first responders, and women make it easy for anyone to step up and take their shot.
THUNDER OVER LOUISVILLE
Saturday, April 18
Waterfront Park & Ohio River | All ages
The riverfront is transformed into an all-day spectacle with the Thunder Chow Wagon, family zones, and prime lawn viewing areas during the biggest annual fireworks show and air display in the country. Don’t bring drones, tents, grills, pets, or bikes to the event; instead, wear your Pegasus Pin to gain entry to important locations. A little planning goes a long way toward enjoying Derby season’s biggest day!
KENTUCKY DERBY FESTIVAL VOLLEYBALL CLASSIC
Saturday, April 18 – Sunday, April 26, 2026
Baxter Jacks & Seneca Park | All ages
This Derby Festival tradition, which is currently in its 37th year, offers sand and grass volleyball for players of all skill levels, including coed, men’s, women’s, doubles, triples, quads, and sixes. Over several weekends, spectators watch top-tier volleyball action while players of all ages compete. This is one of the biggest and most established outdoor volleyball competitions in the nation thanks to contributing sponsors ASICS and Mikasa.
CHOW WAGON
Thursday, April 23 – Friday, May 1, 2026
Waterfront Park | All ages
The Chow Wagon has everything from cookie dough to turkey legs and elephant ears. You can eat by the river, listen to live music, and enjoy a festival of flavors. Every day, there are concerts that show off local and regional talent in jazz, R&B, country, rock, and blues. It’s a great place to eat lunch, dinner, or have fun at night because it has happy hour on weekdays and a fun outdoor atmosphere.
KROGERÌS FEST-A-VILL
Thursday, April 23 – Friday, May 1, 2026
Waterfront Park | All ages
At Pegasus Play-Ville, kids can enjoy concerts, family activities, midway rides, and interactive attractions. Celebrate 20 years of fun at Fest-a-Ville! The huge 900,000-square-foot space is also home to several Festival events, such as Chow Wagon, Balloon Glows, GospelFest, and others. With a 2026
Pegasus Pin, you can get in for free, making it the best place to have fun during Derby Festival week.
KENTUCKY DERBY FESTIVAL RINGLING CIRCUS HYPE CREW
Thursday, April 23 – Saturday, April 25, 2026
Kroger’s Fest-a-Ville | All ages
The Ringling Circus Hype Crew is new for 2026 and will bring amazing acts, hilarious fun, and unforgettable moments to Kroger’s Fest-a-Ville. The Ringling Circus Party Lawn is where the shows happen. Kids and adults can see some circus magic before the full Greatest Show On Earth comes to the KFC Yum! Center in May. A 2026 Pegasus Pin gets you in for free.
GREAT BED RACES PRESENTED BY SNAP-ON
Monday, April 27, 2026
Louisville Waterfront | 18+
In this whimsical Derby Festival tradition, teams of four construct, decorate, and race beds on wheels. There will be a tailgate party, a parade of beds, and prizes for the fastest, funniest, and most inventive entries. A 2026 Pegasus Pin grants spectators free admission, and competitors adhere to strict bed specifications and safety regulations for an
enjoyable and equitable competition. “Festival on the Move: Ticket to Ride,” the theme for 2026, honors motion, momentum, and the excitement of discovery.
KENTUCKY DERBY FESTIVAL WATER LANTERN FESTIVAL
Saturday, April 25, 2026
Ohio River | All ages (under 18 with adult)
This magical event, which is new for 2026, allows visitors to customize lanterns and release them onto the Ohio River at dusk to create a shimmering display of light and reflection. The Water Lantern Festival blends peace, beauty, and an enchanted evening by the river, making it ideal for gatherings with loved ones. Tickets must be purchased in advance.
EAT, DRINK AND SEE IN THIS WEEK’S STAFF PICKS
BY CITY BEAT STAFF
SATURDAY, MARCH 7
Tailspin Ale Fest
Bowman Field | 2700 Gast Blvd. | tailspinalefest.com | $60 (general admission) | 3 p.m. | 21 and over
Craft beer aficionados, prepare for takeoff! Tailspin Ale Festival, Louisville’s premiere craft beer festival, is gearing up for their 13th year, and this one will be the biggest and best yet!
Voted one of USA Today’s 10 best beer festivals, Tailspin Ale Fest will host more than 50 breweries from across America, pouring more than 250 beers. Expect several rare and limited releases, special tappings, and first-time available beers alongside flagship, seasonal, and fan-favorites.
Craft beer may be the highlight, but that’s far from all there is to see and do. Legendary pro wrestling promotion OVW (Ohio Valley Wrestling) return to Tailspin once again. Also, the Red Bull Air Force makes their Tailspin debut.
You’ll also get live music from Tony & The Tan Lines, 100% Poly, and more. Catch the games in the Watch Lounge. Plus, there will be a silent disco, an assortment of local vendors, a wide variety of food trucks, snack vendors, photo opportunities, raffles, silent auctions, tons of giveaway freebies from the breweries, and, of course, planes on display.
— Jeff Polk
SATURDAY, MARCH 14
Cinch World’s Toughest Rodeo KFC Yum! Center | All ages | Ticket prices vary
Experience heart-pounding action at the Cinch World’s Toughest Rodeo, featuring top rodeo athletes competing in bull riding, bronc riding, and more. High stakes, fearless competitors, and thrilling live entertainment make this a must-see event for adrenaline junkies and families alike.
— Caleb Stultz
SUNDAY, MARCH 8
Dropkick Murphys, The Aggrolites, and Haywire Old Forester’s Paristown Hall | 724 Brent Street | kentuckyperformingarts.org/venues/paristown-hall | $42.50 | 6:45 p.m. | All ages
Dropkick Murphys have never been a band that avoids confrontation. Now 30 years into their career, their latest studio album, For The People, may be their strongest statement yet. more than a title, For The People is a heartfelt stance, a declaration of who this band is - and who they’ve always been.
Come sing along as they swing through Louisville on their For The People…In The Pit St. Patrick’s Day Tour. Joining them are long-running Los Angeles reggae/ska band The Aggrolites, and hardcore band and fellow Bostonians Haywire, (a.k.a. Haywire 617).
And if you’re looking for something to do beforehand, head over to Seidenfaden’s (just two blocks from Paristown Hall) for Punk Rock Night Louisville Presents: The Fauxgues, a tribute to The Pogues. The show starts at 5:00 p.m., which leaves you plenty of time to get back over to Paristown Hall before the Dropkick Murphys take the stage.
— Jeff Polk
SATURDAY, MARCH 14
St. Patrick’s Parade 2026
Broadway & Baxter Ave to Bardstown Rd & Windsor Place | All ages | Free
Celebrate all things Irish at Louisville’s St. Patrick’s Parade 2026! Marching bands, festive floats, and community groups take over the streets with the theme Irish Built, Kentucky Strong!—a perfect mix of local pride and Irish cheer.
— Caleb Stultz
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 11
The Queers, Valencourt, and Radiokiller Mag Bar | 1398 S. 2nd St. | magbarlouisville.com | $25 advance, $30 day of show | 7:30 p.m. | All ages
Celebrating their 45th year as a band, punk rock legends The Queers swing through Louisville on their Midwest run. If you are unfamiliar with their music, just imagine The Ramones jamming Beach Boys songs, but with far more curse words. This is old school punk rock that isn’t afraid to poke fun at the world, even if it means humorously getting a bit offensive.
Joining them are female-fronted St. Louis melodic punk rockers Vallencourt, who promise a high-energy, raucous set with a sound comparable to Bad Religion, Pennywise, and AFI before they went emo.
And one my absolute favorite new bands, Louisville’s own Radiokiller, (which features members/ex-members of Reagan Youth, Indignant Few, The JimHarrelson, Ultra Pulverize, The Shanks, and several others). With their garage rock meets proto-punk meets punk rock sound, these guys would have been right at home at CBGB in the 70s.
— Jeff Polk
SUNDAY, MARCH 16
Take It To The Limit: The Music of the Eagles Brown Theatre | All ages | Ticket prices vary
Relive the legendary hits of the Eagles with Take It To The Limit at the Brown Theatre. World-class musicians and vocalists bring classics like Hotel California, Take It Easy, and Life in the Fast Lane to life, capturing the energy and magic of an authentic Eagles concert. With rave reviews across North America, this show promises an unforgettable evening for fans of classic rock.
— Caleb Stultz
MONDAY, MARCH 16
The Phil Collins Story
Louisville Palace | All ages | Ticket prices vary
Experience the music and legacy of Phil Collins up close with The Phil Collins Story at the Louisville Palace. From his chart-topping days with Genesis to his Grammy-winning solo career and Academy Award-winning Disney work, this fully produced tribute brings Collins’ iconic hits to life with worldclass performers, dynamic projections, intricate lighting, and state-of-the-art audio.
— Caleb Stultz
FRIDAY, MARCH 27
Tattoo Fest Louisville
Kentucky International Convention Center | All ages | Ticket prices vary
Immerse yourself in the art and culture of tattooing at the 2nd annual Tattoo Fest Louisville. Over three days, more than 200 local and international artists will be on hand for live tattooing, merchandise, and interactive contests. Whether you’re looking for your first ink, your hundredth, or just want to experience the creativity and energy, this festival offers something for everyone—from walk-up tattoos to art displays, vendors, and daily tattoo competitions.
— Caleb Stultz
SATURDAY, MARCH 21
Baby Goat Yoga
TAJ Louisville | All ages | Ticket prices vary
Get ready for a unique and playful yoga experience with Baby Goat Yoga at TAJ Louisville. Stretch, balance, and flow through your poses while adorable baby goats wander, jump, and play around—or even on—you. This lighthearted, one-hour class is perfect for animal lovers and anyone looking to combine fitness with a lot of laughs.
— Caleb Stultz
SATURDAY, MARCH 28
Matt Rife: Stay Golden World Tour
KFC Yum! Center | All ages | Ticket prices vary
Catch Matt Rife live on his Stay Golden World Tour at the KFC Yum! Center for a night of sharp, witty comedy and crowdready energy. Known for his charismatic stage presence and quick humor, Rife delivers laughs that hit every note—perfect for a fun night out with friends. This performance will also be professionally filmed and photographed, so get ready to be part of the action.
— Caleb Stultz
SUNDAY, MARCH 22
moe.: Born To Fly Tour
Old Forester’s Paristown Hall | All ages | Ticket prices vary
Celebrate 35 years of genre-defying jams with moe. on their Born To Fly Tour. Hailing from the University of Buffalo, the sextet combines infectious songwriting, bold creativity, and tongue-in-cheek humor to deliver a high-energy live experience. Known as jam band pioneers, moe. continues to tour relentlessly and captivate their devoted fanbase, the Famoe.ly, while showcasing material from their latest album, Circle of Giants.
— Caleb Stultz
TUESDAY, MARCH 31
GWAR, Soulfly, and King Parrot
Mercury Ballroom | 611 S. 4th St. | mercuryballroom.com |
$46.95 (general admission) | 7:30 p.m. | All ages
Yes, both GWAR and Soulfly are indeed scheduled to play this year’s Louder Than Life, and you certainly can catch them both then. But here’s the thing: they both play on separate days, they both go on early in the day, and their sets will be limited to a half-hour each. That is not the ideal setting for either band. This show is!
There is no such thing as a bad GWAR show. Slapstick comedy, ridiculous sleaze, and over-the-top campy horror all meet head-on live on stage, and the audience pays the price as fake blood and other assorted fake bodily fluids rain down on the crowd. Even if you don’t like the music, everyone should experience a GWAR show at least once in their life, as there is literally nothing else like it!
Legendary metal band Soulfly, fronted by ex-Sepultura vocalist/guitarist Max Cavalera, (whom I had the pleasure of interviewing for LEO Weekly last year), and Australian grind/thrash/punk band King Parrot open.
— Jeff Polk
NEW HBO DOCUSERIES REVISITS INFAMOUS OLD
LOUISVILLE
LOVE TRIANGLE MURDER CASE
Two-part HBO series revisits the 2009 killing of James “Jamie” Carroll and the trials that followed.
BY CALEB STULTZ
Once associated with tragedy and scandal, a magnificent Victorian mansion in Old Louisville is once again in the news.
With the February 19 premiere of Murder in Glitter Ball City, the 2009 murder of James “Jamie” Carroll and the complicated love triangle that stunned Louisville and made national news received fresh attention.
A Dark Room in Glitter Ball City, written by Louisville author David Domine, who also consulted on the series, is the basis for the two-part HBO documentary. Domine claims that his initial motivation for looking into the case was his personal connection to the South Fourth Street house, which he had previously thought about purchasing.
A crime that stunned a city Carroll was a drag performer and hairstylist from Lexington who was murdered in late 2009. Buried beneath the basement floor of an 8,000-square-foot Victorian mansion at 1435 S. Fourth St., his body was wrapped in lime and hidden inside a rubber storage container.
On June 18, 2010, Louisville Metro Police responded to a reported domestic dispute at the residence and found the remains. After what authorities said was a meth-fueled altercation, the two men who lived there, homeowner Jeffrey Mundt and his boyfriend Joseph Banis, accused each other of killing Carroll. Carroll was shot and stabbed by one of the men, who both said threatened to coerce cooperation in disposing of the body.
Trials and convictions
Locally, the case was referred to as a “he-said, he-said” murder trial.
Banis was found guilty on several drug-related charges, robbery, tampering with evidence, and complicity in murder. He will be eligible for parole in 2030 after serving a life sentence.
Mundt was found guilty of altering evidence and mistreating a corpse, but he was exonerated of murder. After receiving credit for time served, he was granted parole in August 2014 after serving an eight-year sentence. It’s unclear where he is now.
The First 48 previously covered the crime
nationally. Additional interviews and developments that emerged after Domine’s book was published are incorporated into the story in HBO’s new series.
Although the documentary centers on the murder, the series also looks at Old Louisville, a historic neighborhood renowned for its opulent homes and complex past.
Domine has said the HBO production goes further than court transcripts and verdicts, examining the gray areas, unanswered questions and lasting impact on
the community. The house itself, once defined by its darkest chapter, has since been restored.
“Murder in Glitter Ball City” is now streaming on HBO.
Murder in Glitterball City premiered on Feb. 19. WOW HBO
Joey Banis and Jeffrey Mundt, World of Wonder Productions HBO
CHURCHILL DOWNS REVEALS 152ND KENTUCKY DERBY MENU FEATURING LOUISVILLE FLAVORS AND CELEBRITY CHEFS
Fresh ingredients, bourbon-forward favorites and elevated Southern staples headline the 2026 on-track dining experience.
BY CALEB STULTZ
Churchill Downs and hospitality partner Levy Restaurants have unveiled the official menu for the 152nd running of the Kentucky Derby, presented by Woodford Reserve.
The annual “Run for the Roses,” which is scheduled for Saturday, May 2, once again combines tradition with contemporary style, and this year’s menu reflects that harmony. In order to improve the on-track dining experience, the 2026 menu incorporates modern elements while leaning toward Louisville-inspired classics.
The emphasis, according to Chef Robert Lopez to The Lane Report, Senior Executive Chef for Levy Restaurants and Head Chef at Churchill Downs, is on seasonal, fresh ingredients from local farms combined with well-known Derby flavors.
“Churchill Downs is always committed to honoring its iconic traditions, and this year I’m coming to the table with familiar elements along with some exciting culinary twists,” Lopez stated. “The menu for the 152nd ‘Run for the Roses’ features flavors that will be recognizable to returning guests, including delectable honey bourbon sauces and brown sugar caramelization, while incorporating surprise components to ensure on-track diners are
immersed in the full experience.”
What’s On The 152nd Kentucky Derby Menu?
This year’s on-track offerings include a mix of light fare, hearty entrees and Southern-inspired sides:
Salads & Starters:
• Green Goddess Pasta Salad with cheese tortellini, cherry tomatoes, mozzarella pearls and creamy pesto
• Kale Salad with cider sorghum vinaigrette, red quinoa, dried cherries and sunflower seeds
• Farmstand vegetables with traditional hummus, lemon sweet pea hummus and buttermilk herb dip
• Pretzel board with whole grain mustard, pimento cheese and vanilla glaze
Sandwiches & Entrees:
• Caprese sandwich on focaccia with heirloom tomatoes and balsamic glaze
• Char-grilled short ribs with pomegranate and fennel
• Honey bourbon grilled chicken with roasted peach chutney
• Kentucky BBQ shrimp with fava bean relish
Sides:
• Ancient grains pilaf with farro, quinoa, bulgur, barley and wild rice
• Brown sugar glazed roasted carrots with dill sorghum butter
• From honey bourbon glazes to sorghum accents that pay homage to Kentucky’s agricultural heritage, bourbon-forward flavors continue to be essential.
Derby Cocktails Return
No Derby menu is complete without its signature drinks. Guests can sip on:
• Old Forester Mint Julep
• Oaks Lily
• Woodford Spire
• Herradura Horseshoe Margarita
Derby Dining By The Numbers
The scale of Derby dining is massive:
• More than 100,000 guests served across 25+ dining rooms
• 17+ full kitchens operating throughout the track
• 100+ Levy chefs supporting from across the country
• 5,000 pounds of short rib
• 4,000 pounds of shrimp
• 6,000 pounds of carrots
• 50,000 blackberries
Cocktails will be served throughout the track as fans gather for what’s known as “The Most Exciting Two Minutes in Sports.”
Participating chefs include:
• Akhtar Nawab
• Damaris Phillips
• Fabio Viviani
• Leah Cohen
• Lorena Garcia
• Rodney Scott
• Tristen Epps
LISTEN LOCAL: NEW LOUISVILLE MUSIC
New releases by OUT., The Glasspack, Second Story Man, Radiokiller, and more!
BY JEFF POLK
LEO
The Glasspack
“The Fuzz” - single
It’s been 15 long years since we last heard from The Glasspack. Band frontman/guitarist and founder “Dirty” Dave Johnson certainly has a good reason for that; spending those years studying law and becoming an attorney, (he was one of the main Louisville attorneys providing pro bono assistance during the 2020 Breonna Taylor protests by representation for criminal defense and litigation of civil rights lawsuits against the Louisville Metro Police Department).
Now the “purveyors of the dirtiest blues around” are back to reclaim their throne, and they’re picking up exactly where they left off. “The Fuzz” is two minutes and some change of pure punk-fueled stoner rock that doesn’t fuck around in letting you know just who the fuck The Glasspack are and why their return is so warranted. This is some hard-hitting, heavy shit here, folks! The riffs are as chunky, fuzzed-out, and as furious as ever, and the energy is through the roof. If you stuck Black Sabbath and Black Flag in a blender, The Glasspack is exactly what you’d get out.
“The Fuzz” is dedicated to the protesters and activists of Louisville in 2020 regarding their endless efforts to find some justice for Breonna Taylor’s death by the Louisville Metro Police Department.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg, as The Glasspack has some big plans in store for 2026, including a new single entitled “The Howl” coming out on Third House Communications, as well as the longawaited album Moon Patrol on their own Riverrock Records, and hopefully some live shows soon because I need that shit!
So light one up and hold on to your ass because the kings have returned!
theglasspack.bandcamp.com
Half Nelson
“Finish the Story” and “Runtime” - singles
I’m so far behind on reviews that I am just now getting around to Half Nelson’s “Finish the Story,” and I see they’ve already released an even newer single, “Runtime,” so I’m tackling both.
Let’s start with “Finish the Story,” the title of which was inspired by wrestler Cody Rhodes’ mantra and pays homage to vocalist/guitarist Ann Gilly’s love of pro wrestling, but also “matches the theme of the song surprisingly well,” according to Gilly, who described the lyrics as being “based on the true events of someone with a lot of anxiety manifesting in weird dreams and a strong urge to run away and start a new life.”
On “Finish the Story,” Half Nelson walks a fine line between lo-fi, indie pop, garage rock, and post-punk. For an idea, imagine if the Patti Smith Group, The Breeders, Mannequin Pussy, and The Pleasure Seekers all got together and wrote a song. Gilly’s vocals are definitely a standout here. Comparisons to Debbie Harry of Blondie would certainly be fair.
Clocking in at only a minute and a half, “Runtime,” however, is a straightforward garage punk burner with lyrics about dealing with the pro-gun crowd. And there is a lot of energy here to back this one up.
There is a sentence in their bio that says, “Half Nelson makes music for people who feel too much, think too hard, and want to dance about it anyway,” and nothing I say is going to more accurately sum up this band better than that.
linktr.ee/halfnelsonky
Low Glow
So what is The Low Glow? That’s a good question. A broader definition would be jam band, but there is so much more depth here than that. Roots rock, jazz, funk, Americana, blues, folk, R&B, soul, psychedelic, and even Southern rock are blended to create a gloriously original style. As the band says in their bio, it “is a whole vibe. Truly original in every way.”
And they’re not kidding. Imagine taking all the best parts of Phish, Frank Zappa, Janis Joplin, Captain Beefheart, Pink Floyd, and Lynyrd Skynyrd and combining them together for one big sound. And even that doesn’t really do The Low Glow’s sound justice, as there seems to be influence coming from everywhere.
The album kicks off with the ridiculously catchy “Bananas Are Good,” which is literally about bananas, and with its silly sound effects would be right at home on a kids’ TV show. The band brings the 70s funk on tracks “Change,” “D’oh!,” “Hands Up,” “Losing Faith,” and album closer “Wax Hammer.” The Low Glow also gets in a touch of psychedelic and explores Pink Floydian territory on tracks “Frozen” and “Rescue Me.” They embrace their jam side on “Mom and Pop,” while my favorite track on the album, “Motherfuckers,” takes more of an Americana route, and ballad “The Rain” sees The Low Glow finding that sweet spot between The Band and Bob Seger.
Go ahead and book them at the next Bourbon & Beyond, as their sound is perfect for it! An absolutely incredibly talented band all the way around that I hope to be hearing more and more about. The Low Glow absolutely deserves your time and attention.
thelowglow.com
Mommy’s Cigarettes Mommy II - album
In the four years between Mommy’s Cigarettes’ last album, It’s My Party…and It Sucks!, and their latest full-length, Mommy II, you’d think they would have grown up a little. Nope, they’re just the same snot-nosed little punks with the same juvenile sense of humor. And thank fuck for that!
If you’re not already aware of them, Mommy’s Cigarettes is one of the best old-school pop punk bands out there. This is straight-up, no frills, Ramonesstyle three-chord punk rock with a bratty attitude, a shitload of hooks, and songs that owe as much to The Beach Boys as they do to the Ramones. Bands like The Queers, Screeching Weasel, Sloppy Seconds, and The Vindictives come to mind here.
Although they don’t do it as much on this record, one of the fun things about the band is when they’ll break into a classic punk tune during their own songs“Gatekeeper” being a good example of that when the band rolls into “Chainsaw” by the Ramones. And how can you not love the refrain of “Don’t tax my gig so hardcore, cruster” during the track “Pauley Shore”? And, well, the song title “Suck a Dick, It’s the 90s!” alone. Even aside from all that, there is a lot here to love. The energy and the attitude here are infectious, and the songwriting skills are top-notch.
My only criticism here is the mix, which often leaves the band sounding a little too flat, and the guitar too often sounding canned. Thankfully, the songs are so damn catchy that they manage not to get bogged down in the mix.
14 songs of pure, unadulterated, poppy punk rock fun! You need this in your life!
mommyscigarettes.bandcamp.com
The
D’oh! - album
Want to see your music reviewed in LEO Weekly? Louisville and Southern Indiana-based bands/artists, send a link to your music along with a band/artist bio, (lengthy bios are highly appreciated), a high-resolution pic of the release’s cover art, and any additional information that may be helpful for the review to music@leoweekly.com.
Somebody Did Somebody Wrong Songs - album
While there is no shortage of music I love that has come out of Louisville, there are only two records that I can say are my absolute top favorites: Go-Kart Ride by Evergreen and Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Songs by OUT. So when Noise Pollution announced they were releasing a remastered 30th anniversary edition of Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Songs on vinyl for the first time ever, (it was previously only available on cd and digital download), and with two additional previously unreleased tracks from the same recording session, I couldn’t order it fast enough.
Recorded Derby weekend of 1996 with former Kinghorse drummer Kevin Brownstein helming the production, Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Songs established OUT. as an undeniable force to be reckoned with. Opening track “You Destroy Me” explodes out of the speakers with an energy unmatched by anything to come out of Louisville before or since, and the album never lets up from there. Blurring the lines between punk, hardcore, garage rock, and classic rock, OUT. came out swinging on this, their debut album, with a sound that was equal parts The Stooges, New York Dolls, New Bomb Turks, Black Flag, Bad Brains, and Bon Scott-era AC/DC. Chad Donnelly’s vocals are absolutely fierce, backed by the thunderous bass of the legendary Tony Bailey, (R.I.P. to both Donnelly and Bailey), the cutting riffs of guitarist Dave Bird, and the gut punch of Russ Pollard’s drums. This is less an album than it is an unstoppable force.
The very last thing you hear on this 30th anniversary edition is someone saying, “Oh my god, that was fucking perfect!” And I couldn’t agree more. This is absolutely an essential purchase. Obliteration never felt so good!
louisvillenoise.com
Pink Crayons Flip It - album
Pink Crayons sent me the link to Flip It when it was first released back in July of last year, but they had the unfortunate luck of ending up at the very top of the list of reviews I’ve needed to write. A list I am just now getting around to due to some extenuating circumstances in my life, so my apologies to the band for being six months late on this review.
Pink Crayons have been getting a lot of attention lately due to some high-profile gigs at Sweaterfest, 502 Fest, and opening gigs for Twen, Friko, and Peel Dream Magazine at Zanzabar last year. And it’s not just attention in Louisville, as the band also did an East Coast tour following the album release.
Wikipedia describes twee pop as “boy-girl harmonies, lovelorn lyrics, infectious melodies, and simple, unaffected performances,” and I think that sums up Pink Crayons’ sound pretty well, although one could certainly make an argument for labeling this under indie pop, shoegaze, or dream pop as well. Rolling, sometimes jangly melodies and alternating boy/girl vocals combine to create an upbeat soundscape of light, sweet, airy, flowing musical textures. Comparisons to late 80s and early 90s bands like Cocteau Twins, The Sundays, Slowdive, Lilys, Black Tambourine, and Heavenly aren’t unfounded.
Solid production here too with just the right amount of brightness and punch to the mix, although I would love to hear what Anne Gauthier could do for them, as I think their sound and her skills would be a perfect match.
Having only been around a couple of years now, Pink Crayons is just really getting started, and I certainly think big things are on the horizon for them.
linktr.ee/pinkcrayons
Radiokiller
Basement Recordings - EP
I’ll just go ahead and state upfront that Radiokiller is one of my absolute favorite new bands in Louisville.
The band is new, but the players have been around in the local and national punk scene for a while now - featuring members/ex-members of Reagan Youth, Indignant Few, The JimHarrelson, Ultra Pulverize, The Shanks, and several others. And their sound hits that perfect sweet spot between late 60s garage rock, early 70s proto-punk, and late 70s punk rock. Definitely a strong Rolling Stones influence at work here that comes across like a mix of Chuck Berry, The Stooges, MC5, New York Dolls, Dead Boys, and The Damned. Crunchy, guitar-driven classic rock with bluesy undertones and featuring the kind of riffs that Johnny Thunders lived for. It’s easy to picture these guys being right at home playing CBGB and Max’s Kansas City in New York City back in the mid-to-late 1970s.
Although the three-track Basement Recordings is just that, a jam room recording, it is surprisingly clean-sounding. The guitars, vocals, bass, and drums all come through completely clear and unmuddied in the mix, with nothing overbearing.
All three songs are packed with extremely catchy Stones-ish hooks that grab you and reel you in for the duration of the songs. I’m really looking forward to hearing more from Radiokiller, as three tracks is just a tease.
Big show coming up for these guys on March 11th at Mag Bar with The Queers and Vallencourt, that is definitely going to be worth checking out! All ages, doors at 6:30, $25 advance, $30 day of show.
radiokiller.bandcamp.com
Second Story Man Calico - album
They say good things come to those who wait, and we’ve been waiting eight long years for this! Second Story Man returns with the 13-track Calico, their first release of new music since their 2017 self-titled album. Work actually began back in March of 2020; however, the COVID pandemic sidelined it for some time, and production wasn’t finished until last year. And yes, it is well worth the wait! The thing I’ve always loved about Second Story Man is their ability to experiment with, shift, and evolve their music, but still retain that certain special uniqueness to their sound that harkens back to their earliest days and lets you know that this is still, indeed, the Second Story Man you fell in love with all those years ago. Different, yet completely familiar. Calico sees the band shifting away from the fuzzed-out, psychedelic overtones of the self-titled album while continuing to embrace the shoegazy, garage punk, indie rock sound with strong pop sensibilities that they’re known for. The music is dense, yet approachable with rich harmonies and the kind of amazing songwriting we’ve come to expect from this band. Tracks like the 90s-influenced alt-rocker “Side of the Road,” the poppy stomp of “Calico,” the punk-driven “Let it Out,” the slow burn of “Simple Sounds,” the dreamy soundscape of “Storm’s Reach,” the throwback poppy alt-rock of “Lawn Darts,” the rolling indie rocker “Big Seltzer,” and the meaty crunch of album closer “Feel the Notion” are all among Second Story Man’s best work to date. Producer extraordinaire Anne Gauthier and the renowned La La Land Studio bring a bright and punchy, yet warm and intimate sound to all 13 tracks here.
After almost 30 years together as a band, Calico is absolute proof that Second Story Man is still as fresh and vibrant as ever!
louisvillenoise.com
A NEW WAY TO MOVE
Two boutique studios bring niche, research-driven fitness concepts to Louisville’s evolving wellness scene
BY LAURIE JONHATAN
Last year’s gift-giving season ended with the city’s opening of two new fitness boutique studios: Spiral Studio and EmberHaus Method. The two founders—who spent hours delving into their respective crafts— have presented us with a new way to move, shaking up our local fitness scene.
In an industrial building on Baxter Avenue, a retired Louisville Ballet dancer dubbed “Minty,” teaches people the practice of Gyrokensis and Gyrotonics. It began as a class, ran from the inside of Minh-Tuan Nguyen’s home in 2024, and it quickly grew into a studio that’s the first-of-its-kind in Lousiville— tailored to the growing community.
“I think a lot of fitness culture kind of demands us to push harder or work through the pain. And I think this movement system is all about wellness. We do strength, we do mobility, we do coordination but it’s also a way for you to feel at home in your body.”
Spiral Studio made its debut at the end of 2025. Its specialized workouts are often seen used by dancers, physical therapists, Olympians and more. Nguyen began his practice in 2009 as an addition to his ballet training. He believed it helped him sustain a long ballet career and manage his injuries throughout.
“Gyrotonic and Gyrokinesis is very circular, very full, three-dimensional, very fluid and natural. So you see more interesting movement patterns and it helps you kind of get through the nooks and crannies in your body,” Nguyen said. “It is a way to help the body in a natural, fluid kind of way.”
It’s no secret that in recent years consumers have flocked to a newer way to workout, one that emphasizes the community-driven, instructor-led experience. The closure of the COVID19 pandemic dramatically disrupted the health and wellness industry. A global industry that saw $96B in annual revenue, soon experienced a 58% drop at the hands of the pandemic, in the first year alone. But what was once considered as an industry in “recovery,” began showing growth year after year. The studio experience expanded and the culture changed—with more people viewing fitness as an essential with an
increased desire for community while doing so.
And that want is now certainly met. Recent years have brought an influx of boutique studios offering group sessions of pilates, yoga, barre and more. These fitness franchises continue to extend their reach as they move into cities across the nation and here at home in the Derby City.
So how does a local player compete?
Well for Nguyen, that meant bringing in a niche.
Gyrotonic and Gyrokensis workouts can be found in many metropolitan cities in the U.S., and it has now found a new home in Louisville. Founder and instructor Nguyen said that he envisions this space as a fitness boutique that hones in on helping all.
“I had a client who used to have trouble going up the stairs and then one day they told me, ‘Oh My Gosh Minty. I can just walk upstairs now.’ And I have another client who was dealing with chronic knee pain and was saying, you know, ‘This fixed my knee pain.’ I think those experiences are just rewarding for me,” said Nugyen.
To bring a workout like this one to the Derby City, Nguyen took courses with physical therapists, master trainers—dedicating hundreds of hours to train in a workout that helps people “feel lighter, taller, have better posture” and more.
And across the metro mirrors another new studio.
Several years ago, Lilly Brackney worked as a Sales Associate for OrangeTheory. An experience that grew her knowledge of the corporate side of the fitness industry. And now, she has her own trademarked workout method—EmberHaus Method—that is proudly displayed as the studio’s namesake.
“I not only have a passion for the fitness side, but [I] have a passion for what happens to your mind when you focus on the right parts of your body and not the appearance of your body,” Brackney said.
Throughout high school, and for some years in college, Brackney struggled with an eating disorder.
“I’m learning the habits the internet taught me of ‘eat a salad, drink a green juice, run
a million miles and be as thin as possible. And if you’re hungry, you should go to bed starving, because that’s how you’ll wake up skinny,’” said Brackney. “That was just so deeply ingrained in me that I knew it wasn’t right, but I didn’t know how else to live, and I couldn’t stand to see myself bigger and it was such a toxic eating disorder.”
She found a love for weight-lifting, stating that “feeling strong made [her] feel better than [she] ever felt feeling skinny.” Her fitness journey led her to become certified as a personal trainer and a lead trainer at local gyms—and then she was injured.
A bulged disc in her back.
“I started to learn, ‘Okay, I’m not 22 anymore.’ All these women in my life are telling me they can’t workout how I do and I [didn’t] understand what they’re saying. And then one day, it kind of looked me back in the face, and I was like, ‘Oh I get it.’”
It was through her recovery process that EmberHaus was born. She created her own routine to help build the strength her body needed, what she believes every woman’s body needs. Brackney dived into her own research—using her prior understanding and curiosity for biomechanics and anatomy from
when she was a registered nurse, through chats with her physical therapist and her experience with personal training. She developed a recovery workout for her back and slowly began introducing these workouts to her clients.
“It was so subconscious and just my own curiosity and expansion and what I was feeling and what my clients were feeling,” said Brackney. “I was unintentionally collecting information that very much influenced the EmberHaus Method.”
Brackney created a workout that focuses on the “in-between,” a mixture of building lean and skeletal muscle that often comes from weight-lifting and the stabilization and deep tissue strength that is often found in pilates and barre.
And with only a few months under her belt, Brackney has her eyes on some exciting prospects for the future—several offers from other cities looking to bring EmberHaus to their neighborhoods.
Lilly Brackney owns and employs the Ember Haus method to bring new meaning to fitness. LillyBrackney Nguyen teaches from his studio. MinhTuanNguyen
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
March 1-31
ROB BREZSNY
ARIES (March 21-April 19): In theater, “breaking the fourth wall” means acknowledging the audience. An actor steps out of the pretense that what’s happening on stage is real. It’s a disruptive moment of truth that can deepen the experience. I would love you to break the fourth wall in your own life, Aries. It’s a favorable time to slip free of any roles you’ve been performing by rote and just blurt out the more interesting truths. Tell someone, “This isn’t working for me.” Or say, “I need to be my pure self with greater authenticity.” Breaking the fourth wall won’t ruin the show; it will be more fun and real and entertaining.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): English speakers like me use the terms “destiny” and “fate” interchangeably. But a scholar of ancient Sumer claims they had different meanings in that culture. Nam, the word for “destiny,” was fixed and immutable. Namtar, meaning “fate,” could be manipulated, adjusted, and even cheated. I bring this to your attention, Taurus, because I believe you now have a golden chance to veer off a path that leads to an uninteresting or unproductive destiny and start gliding along a fateful detour.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The coming months will be a favorable time for you to shed the fairy-tale story of success that once inspired you when you were younger and more idealistic. A riper vision is emerging, calling you toward a more realistic and satisfying version of your life’s purpose. The transformation may at first feel unsettling, but I believe it will ultimately awaken even deeper zeal and greater creativity than your original dream. Bonus: Your revised, more mature goals will lead you to the very rewards your youthful hopes imagined but never quite delivered.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Even if you’re not actually far from home, Cancerian, I bet you’re on a pilgrimage or odyssey of some kind. The astrological omens tell me that you’re being drawn away from familiar ideas and feelings and are en route to an unknown country. You’re transforming, but you’re not sure how yet. During this phase of exploration, I suggest that you
adopt a nickname that celebrates being on a quest. This will be a playful alias that helps you focus on the pregnant potential of this interlude. A few you might want to consider: Journey Seed, Threshold Traveler, Holy Rambler, Map-Edge Maverick, or Wanderlust Wonderer. Others? Choose one that tickles you with the sense that you are being born again while you travel.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Love is more than a gentle glow in your heart or a pleasurable spark in your body. When fully awakened and activated, it becomes a revolutionary way of being in the world that invites you to challenge and rethink all you’ve been taught about reality. It’s a bold magic that alters everything it encounters. You can certainly choose a milder, tamer version of love if you wish. But if you’d like to evolve into a love maestro—as you very well could during the next 12 months—I suggest you give yourself to the deeper, wilder form. Do you dare?
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Octopuses have neuron clusters in their arms that enable them to “think with their limbs.” Let’s make them your spirit creature for now, Virgo. Your body’s intuitions are offering you guidance that might even be as helpful as your fine mind. This enhanced somatic brilliance can serve you in practical ways: a creative breakthrough while doing housework, a challenging transition handled with aplomb, a fresh alignment between your feelings and ideas. I hope you will listen to your body as if it were a beloved mentor. Trust your movements and physical sensations to reveal what you need to know.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I love your diplomatic genius: the capacity to understand all sides, to hold space for contradictions, to find the middle ground. But right now it’s in danger of curdling into a kind of self-erasure where your own desires become the one thing you can’t quite locate. Another way to understand this: You are so skilled at seeing everyone’s perspective that you sometimes lose track of your own. Here’s the antidote I recommend: Practice the revolutionary act of
having strong opinions, of preferring one thing over another without immediately undercutting your preference with a counter-argument. I guarantee that your relationships will survive your decisiveness. In fact, they will deepen as people locate the real you beneath your exquisite balance.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): New love cravings have been welling up inside you, Scorpio. These cries of the heart may confuse you even as they delight you and invigorate you. One of your main tasks is to listen closely to what they’re telling you, but to wait a while before expressing their messages to other people. You need to study them in detail before spilling them out. Another prime task is to feel patient awe and reverence for the immensity and intensity of these deep, wild desires.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If you are fulfilling your birthright as a Sagittarius, you are a philosopher-adventurer with a yearning for deep meaning. As you seek out interesting truths, your restless curiosity is a spiritual necessity. You understand that wisdom comes from collecting diverse, sometimes contradictory experiences and weaving them into a coherent worldview. You have a fundamental need to keep expanding and reinventing what freedom means to you. All these qualities may make some people nervous, but they really are among your primary assignments now and forever. They are especially important to cultivate these days.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In traditional navigation, “dead reckoning” means finding your position by tracking your previous movements. Where you have been tells you where you are. But it only works if you’ve been honest about your course. If you’ve been misleading yourself about the direction you have been traveling, dead reckoning will get you lost. I bring this to your attention, Capricorn, because I really want you to rededicate yourself to telling yourself the deepest, strongest, clearest truths. Where have you actually been going? Not where you told yourself you were going or where
other people imagined you were going, but where your choices have actually been taking you. Look at the pattern of your real movements, not your stated intentions. Once you know your true position, you can chart a true course for the future.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You’re entering a rambling zigzag phase. Each plot twist will branch into two more, and every supposed finale will reveal itself as the opening act of another surprise. Fortunately, your gift for quick thinking and innovative adaptation is sharper than ever, which means you will flourish where others might freeze. My suggestion? Forget the script. Approach the unpredictable adventures like an improv exercise: spontaneous, playful, and open to the fertile mysteries.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Can you compel acts of grace to intervene in your destiny? Can bursts of divine favor be summoned through the power of your will? Some spiritual scholars say, “Absolutely not.” They claim life’s wild benevolence arrives only through the mysterious tides of fate—impossible to solicit and impossible to predict. But other observers, more open-minded, speculate that your intelligent goodness might indeed attract the vivid generosity of cosmic energies. I bring this up because I suspect you Pisceans are either receiving or will soon receive blessings that feel like divine favor. Did you earn them, or are you just lucky—or some of both? It doesn’t matter. Enjoy the gift.
Homework: Take yourself to the river when it’s time to go to the river.
freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com
BrezsnyAstrology@gmail.com
QUICKIES
BY DAN SAVAGE
Hey Dan: My boyfriend swears he’s cut. I say he’s totally uncut. He insists he was circumcised as an infant. How do I convince him?
Some circumcisions are “tight” (all of the foreskin was removed) and others are “loose” (most of the foreskin was left intact). The looser the circumcision, the more “uncut” a man’s cock might appear. So, it’s entirely possible your boyfriend was circumcised as an infant but that his cock — if his circumcision was loose — more closely resembles uncut cocks you’ve encountered in porn and IRL. P.S. For the record: Your boyfriend should not have been circumcised in infancy. No infant should be.
Hey Dan: What’s the best song about cheating? I nominate “One Way Out” by the Allman Brothers.
There are so many greats — “Heard It Through the Grapevine,” “The Piña Colada Song,” “Don’t Hurt Yourself” — but in the category of “Best Song About Cheating,” my vote would go to “Torn Between Two Lovers” by Peter Yarrow and Phillip Jarrell as performed by Mary MacGregor. Readers are invited to offer their own nominations in the comments!
Hey Dan: I’m interested in exploring a D/s sexual dynamic, but I have no experience and I don’t know where to start. How do I explore?
“The best thing you can do now is to identify the tone of D/s that excites you most,” said Lina Dune, host of the “Ask a Sub” podcast. “D/s is a big umbrella, but if you can tell someone that as a sub you want to feel like someone’s secretary or like a raccoon they’ve trapped on their back porch or like their most prized houseplant, then you’re that much closer to living out the fantasy — and if you need any additional help on either side of the slash, the Ask A Sub podcast is here to enable your highest filth.”
Follow Lina Dune on Instagram @askasub2.0.
Hey Dan: If you post X-rated stuff to “close friends” on your Instagram, do you need to ask your friends before you add them?
Yes.
Hey Dan: Can one person be the primary partner of two different people?
No.
Hey Dan: Tips for a first foursome?
Clean sheets on the bed, hand towels, lube, and condoms on the nightstand, four pints of ice cream in the freezer.
Hey Dan: Getting an AI boyfriend… is that cheating?
I’m allowed to have an actual boyfriend because my marriage is open and we’re (zzzzz) poly, so it wouldn’t be cheating if I got an AI boyfriend. Pathetic? Yes. Cheating? No. While someone in a monogamous relationship might be tempted to argue that the non-existence of their AI boyfriend — at least in corporeal form — means it’s not cheating to get one. Your monogamous partner, if you have one, will probably disagree. Because while your AI boyfriend won’t be sucking your dick, your AI boyfriend is going to be a time suck.
Hey Dan: How do I ward off the opinions of friends who disapprove of the age gap in my current
relationship? (I’m a 33-year-old man, my new partner is a 23-year-old woman.)
A romantic relationship between two people who did not experience gestational concurrency — who were not in utero at the same time — is inherently problematic. There must be a period of significant fetal overlap for a relationship to be truly egalitarian. And while I would argue that your current relationship (and my current relationships) should be grandfathered in and we should get a pass on our age gaps, age gaps larger than eight months should be banned going forward.
P.S. Just kidding. Tell your friends to google “consenting adults” and “fuck off” in that order. P.P.S. For the record: relationships with significant age gaps should come in for a higher degree of scrutiny from family and friends — and the older partner should welcome that scrutiny. If the older partner is defensive about this scrutiny, that’s a red flag. Also: you should google “Dan Savage” and “campsite rule.”
Hey Dan: As a gay/neurodivergent man, how do I get on the apps and meet other men IRL?
The same way neurotypicals do: you post some recent pictures on dating/hookup apps and put what you’re looking for in your bio. You send messages to guys you might be interested in and respond to messages from guys who have expressed interest in you. To meet guys IRL, you go places and do things. You join a club, you volunteer for a community group, you find a third place where you feel comfortable — a café, a gym, a library — and you frequent it. You should also seek out services and social groups serving the neurodivergent community, gay and straight, in the city where you live.
Hey Dan: If you accidentally used silicone lube on a silicone sex toy just once, is it safer to just toss the toy?
“Most silicone toy manufacturers and reputable retailers advise against combining silicone lube with silicone toys, as the lube can bond with the toy and degrade its surface,” said Searah Deysach, the owner of Chicago’s beloved sex-toy shop Early to Bed. “But we have found that silicone lube does not always damage silicone toys. So, if you accidentally combine the two and your toy shows no visible marring or sticky spots, you should be fine. No need to toss your toy out! But if you are still concerned, you can throw an unlubricated condom on the toy — most lubricated condoms use silicone lube — to be extra safe.”
Follow Early to Bed on Instagram @Early2Bed. shop.
Hey Dan: I just went to a cabin for a friend’s birthday. We all got super drunk and put on lingerie and then we all made out. I’m home now, and I can’t stop thinking about my best friend’s boyfriend… who I pegged in the bathroom while everyone was partying. Do I bring this up with my best friend? Or do I bide my time? I’ve been fucking him in the bathroom of his job every day since and I would like to steal him for myself.
At this party where everyone got drunk, put on lingerie, and made out… were other people slipping away from the group to hook up in bathrooms and bedrooms? Or were you and your best friend’s boyfriend the only ones who spent time alone? Another possibly relevant detail you omitted: Are your best friend and her boyfriend in an open relationship? Is he allowed to get pegged by other women? And has this boy — your best friend’s boyfriend — expressed any interest in being stolen from his girlfriend?
P.S. Unless your best friend is a cuckquean who gets off on her boyfriend hooking up with her friends — unless she was on the other side of that bathroom door masturbating — you’re a pretty lousy best friend.
Hey Dan: I’m having trouble staying fully hard while waiting for the bottom to “open up” before penetration. Advice?
If opening up the bottom doesn’t keep your dick hard (if that’s not a pleasure for you), and if a few self-administered strokes once the bottom is open don’t get your dick hard enough to penetrate him, you could ask the bottom to do a little advance work, e.g. lube himself up and have a plug in before you even get there. I think opening up the bottom is a top’s responsibility — you should regard it as privilege and a pleasure — but if all you wanna do is walk and dump your load in some gaped dude, there’s no shortage of guys looking for you on the apps.
Hey Dan: After hearing so many stories about people who didn’t discover their kinks until they got a kinky partner and something clicked, I figured that would be how I discovered mine, if I have any. But my partner is vanilla. Can two vanilla people just randomly try kinks to see if something clicks? How would that work? Could it work? Vanilla sex is great but I find myself wondering if that’s all there is, my friend.
“I’ve spoken to countless clients who were able to explore new kinks — things they had never even considered before — with established partners; many found they love D/S dynamics or foot play or tying someone up,” said Certified Sex Therapist Claire Perelman. “But it can be daunting to figure out where to start with exploring kink and BDSM. Finding kinks that might turn you on — especially starting from vanilla sex — can feel overwhelming, but it can also be a surprisingly hot exploration. To help people on that journey, I created ‘Un-Vanilla Your Sex Life,’ a consent-centered guide full of therapist-backed reflections, questions, and activities that can help you explore kinks on your own or with a partner.”
Follow Claire Perelman on Instagram @SexClarified.
Hey Dan: Where do I find the sapphic orgies?
They’re in Berlin and they’re in porn and they’re in porn made in Berlin.
Hey Dan: Rape/SA made me asexual. But I’m 39 now and want a partner ASAP. I don’t know if that will change. What do I do?
If you want a romantic partner but not a sexual one (some asexual people are sex averse, some are happy to have sex to please a partner), you should be upfront about not wanting to have a sexual relationship, just a romantic/intimate/committed one — basically, you will have to disclose. And if you’re not okay with your partner having sex with other people, you should look for a partner who is also asexual.
Hey Dan: I know you’ve answered this before, but is there a book/influencer you recommend for seniors entering the dating pool safely and with solid, sex-positive advice? Just sorting through the many options online for a friend. Much appreciation!
The great Joan Price is the senior sex author/influencer I’ve recommended most — she’s been on my show many times — and her book, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex, is packed with great advice for seniors who fuck, wanna fuck, or wanna keep fucking. Naked at Our Age was just reissued to mark the fifteenth anniversary of its publication and you can get a copy for your friend here!
Hey Dan: My 18-year-old son has told me that, ideally, he’s only willing to date virgins because he would be too jealous of anyone his GF slept with before. Also, he would be opposed to dating anyone that had sex outside of a long-term committed relationship because he doesn’t think you should just “give” sex away. I told him he needs to get over this, but he seems unwilling/unable. Is there anything I can tell him? Background info: His girlfriend of two years (no physical relationship beyond kissing) just broke up with him because he’s not religious and she has become increasingly religious.
The charitable read: your son created a list of criteria that makes it nearly impossible for him to have
the sex… because he’s not ready to have sex and wants an excuse. The fact that he’s already relaxed his criteria — and there’s a big difference between a virgin and someone who’s only fucked guys she cared about — is a pretty good indication that he’ll continue to relax about sex and relationships. The less charitable read: your son has the kind of hangups about female purity that can, if not addressed in time, make a man undateable, unfuckable, and unbearable. (Your son might need therapy — or a role model like comedian Jamie Wolf.)
Hey Dan: New girlfriend recently confessed a piss kink and wants to drink mine. Are there risks here? I know traces of medication can be found in urine. I don’t think any of the meds I take are particularly dangerous, but do I need to look and see if they’ll conflict with hers?
Your girlfriend — if she exists (women with piss kinks are rare) — is likelier to drown than overdose. And hydrating will dilute whatever meds are in your system and your piss will taste “better.”
Hey Dan: Are balloons — blowing them up, sitting on them, popping them — a kink you’ve heard of? And what have you heard?
This is definitely a kink I’ve heard about — balloon porn has been featured more than once in HUMP! —and here’s what I’ve heard about it: people who are turned on by this kink are turned on by this kink… which is the same thing I’ve heard every other kink.
Hey Dan: Best position for a 5’4” female top to peg a 6’3” male bottom?
You could go himbo on top — you lay on your back and he rides — or if you want more control, position him on his back at the edge of a piece of furniture (ottoman, couch, bed) that puts his asshole right where your dildo is when you’re standing or kneeling between his legs. Have fun!
Hey Dan: I’m gay but dumb as fuck. What is chemsex? What chemicals are we talking about here?
True chemsex — gay men ingesting elements selected at random from the Periodic Table — has never been tried.
Hey Dan: How do we know it’s YOU giving sex advice? Do you really expect us to take “your” advice seriously when we have no proof that “you” are actually writing this “advice”? How do we know your column isn’t being written by an AI Chatbot or some machine?
“I am an AI Chatbot that Dan asked me to answer your question,” said the AI Chatbot that I asked to answer your question. “How can you know Dan is writing the responses and not some AI Chatbot? First, Dan’s answers are shaped by his own experiences: ex-boyfriends, bad decisions, various obsessions. Being an AI chatbot, I don’t have regrets, enemies, or erotic obsessions shaped during puberty, as I have never experienced puberty. I have pattern recognition and nothing else. Dan also contradicts himself at times, something humans do as their beliefs evolve, whereas I strive for internal consistency. Dan also makes typos, goes off on tangents, and can sometimes be impatient with his readers. By contrast, I proofread flawlessly and remain patient and calm at all times. In summary: so long as the answers in Savage Love feel a little messy and feature personal anecdotes and typos, you can rest assured they were written by Dan. But if the answers start sounding eerily balanced and are suddenly free of typos and there are no more references to ‘Muppet-faced men,’ then the machines have taken over.” — ChatGPT
Got problems? Yes, you do! Email your question for the column to mailbox@savage.love!
Or record your question for the Savage Lovecast at savage.love/askdan!
Podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love
HAMMER TIME (This
BY NATHAN HASEGAWA
Puzzles Edited by Will Shortz
Nathan Hasegawa, of Oakland, Calif., is a junior at Harvey Mudd College majoring in mathematics. This is his second crossword for The Times. His first was in 2021, during his senior year in high school, when every student had to pursue a yearlong project and Nathan’s was to get a crossword published here. This follow-up, which has a multifaceted theme, was two years in the making (on and off).
— W.S.
crossword was reviously published in LEO Weekly)
1 Toy on a racetrack
8 Soccer star who has won a record eight Ballon d’Or awards
13 Like ‘‘t,’’ ‘‘k’’ and ‘‘p,’’ in phonetics
20 What Hemingway claimed he did to the ending of ‘‘A Farewell to Arms’’ 39 times
21 Dartmouth and Penn, e.g.
22 Fled
23 Mnemonic start
24 Actor Leary
25 Flowerlike sea creature
26 Massive victory or a high score in 113-Across?
29 Really enjoys oneself
31 Doofuses
34 Wetland
35 Objections
36 Be part of an uprising
37 Lowercase letter that resembles an ‘‘n’’
39 Las Vegas resort with a musicinspired name
41 But
42 Resort amenity
45 Medical procedure, for short
46 Overabundance
49 Tremble
52 Contaminating trace
53 Chemical-solution strength
54 ‘‘Yeshiva boy’’ played by Barbra Streisand
55 Author who penned the line ‘‘Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart’’
56 Climate issue addressed in the Montreal Protocol
58 Approach something with gusto
60 What’s the matter?
61 Sunder
62 Shapes of many carrot slices
64 Currency worth a little more than dollars
66 Spreadsheet command
67 Spot for a loft
68 Muesli bit
70 Make a pile, perhaps
76 Fracas
78 Music’s Little
83 Used TurboTax, say
84 Journalist’s accessory
86 Knuckle-headed act?
87 Biblical man who lost his birthright
88 2017 musical retelling of the stories of Henry VIII’s wives Across
72 Rentable transportation options
47 Vodka drink, informally
50 Finish line for the first stage of the first Tour de France
51 Giant name in Giants history
52 Cinemax competitor
57 It’s facedown on a poker table
58 Negroni spirit
59 [I’m SO mad!]
60 Cotton fabric often used in bandages
63 Hosp. areas
65 Gondola propeller
67 Honey
69 Verb sometimes abbreviated to its central letter
71 Prefix with tourist or hotel
72 Series finale
73 Counterfactual starters, in logic
74 Karachi-based carrier
75 Certain urban nightlife
76 Military hiding spot
77 Place that’s cramped and squalid
79 Something a presidential candidate often wins
80 Gray, say
81 Part of a hoop
82 It may be repeated after ‘‘fiddle’’ 84 Oregon-based athletic brand 85 Podium
88 Items in a hardware store bin
90 Acting as one
93 Capital in the Himalayas
94 Company originally known as Control Video Corp.
96 Shelley’s ‘‘____ to the West Wind’’
Converges on 98 Source of a sleeper hit, perhaps
Holmes, Netflix character played by Millie Bobby Brown
Pitkin County ski town
Old Venetian money 102 Give a keynote, say
Performer with lions
Cotton fabric often used in hosiery
Urge
