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CONTENT America’s Future 08 Lies In The Hearts Of Our Youth

ASK Lisa

Planning Your Meal Preps

On The Lighter Side

Better Than Medicine?

Living With Purpose

Living With An Open Heart

Reflections Safekeeping Our Memories

Toughest Of Topics Giving, Receiving And Grieving, Again

Aging In Place Make It A Home Fit For Living

26 Community Heartbeat

Updating The Quarantine Impact

28 Walking In The Spirit Day By Day

32 We The People

Are Currently Under Attack

18 38 Learn Herbal Alternatives Sage Advice For Flu Season

22 40 Cannacian’s Corner

Maintain Peace, Medicate Discretely

24 44 Remember When Christmas Meant Gathering Family

44 Learn more about Emerson Newell: What a joy to share the story of Emerson Newell to the CAREGIVER family, WE CARE spreads holiday cheer and shows genuine gratitude to our Veterans living in Oklahoma’s VA living centers. Along with her family’s efforts and their inclusive helping spirit provide volunteer opportunities for Oklahoman youth throughout the State. A good cause that exemplifies the best of American values and character. Meet her for yourself on Page 8. 4 CAREGIVER Magazine

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Dear Readers, May this Holiday Season provide the peace and tranquility all families deserve at this time. What a tumultuous and complicated year we’ve been through together. Many of us will see family for the first time this year at Thanksgiving and Christmas. As we sit together and break bread, may we remember what is truly important in life and be grateful for all we have. The American family has changed so much over the years. But the one thing that never changes is the love of family. The genuine love that parents have for their children. The love of friends we have connected with so closely we have now accepted as adopted kin, the universal bond we share is love. It is our family heritage, and traditions, that make each bond unique and precious. How blessed we are to live in America where we can gather and celebrate the most important aspect of America, the American family. Many of us will feel the sting of those we wish we could spend one more holiday with. Their void will be felt so strong. We will share stories and memories of those we miss and make recipes, that in their special way, reminding us even more of them. The smells, sounds, and sight of those dishes will transport us back to a time that was sweet, innocent, and nostalgic. It is the truest meaning of bittersweet. Generations of families gathered together making memories, dusting off old recipes and traditions. Creating new traditions and memories for the young that will carry them forward for future generations. As the adults of the family, may we remember our role as guardians of our family legacy. May we accept our roles as the keepers of the memories, the protectors of our traditions - and even in our pain of the loss of loved ones encapsulated in those bittersweet memories - continue to remember, and hold dear to, and pass down the traditions that make your family unique. For us that look at the holiday finding sometimes more pain than pleasure because of the loss of our loved ones, we could justify that it is easier emotionally to run away from those traditions and intense feelings. We must realize if we do that, we are only stealing and destroying the memories of everyone else in the family that need and cherish the holiday. No, it won’t be easy for some of us to lean into the pain, but as generations of the family have done before us, we heal and move forward with living, holding tight to our most cherished family memories, bringing the best of our loved ones passed to the new fresh faces around the table (introducing them through our stories and memories to the family members they never got to meet). Help everyone gathered at the table feel special and appreciated, letting them know about why you celebrate like you do, what makes it unique, and why we gather together to create new memories.

P.O. Box 721673 Oklahoma City, OK 73172

EDITORIAL Editor-In-Chief LASHANYA NASH Managing Editor MICHAEL E. BROWNING Art Director ANGELA BLAKE Writers MICHAEL E. BROWNING DENISE HEATH ABIGAIL Q. HILL ROBBIE LAMBERSON LASHANYA NASH JOHN SPIVEY LISA SYDNOR Photographers JESSIE NEWELL WYNELLE RECORD Community Outreach LISA SYDNOR Social Media Coordinator WYNELLE RECORD Layout WISE MARKETING ADVERTISING Publisher LASHANYA NASH 405.532.6057

With all the turmoil, hardship, and strife this year has heaped on us, why not set aside any disagreements and call a truce for the day. Truly try to enjoy one another’s company, let us not be petty, selfish, and strong-willed. Enjoy your family before you can’t. Create happy cherished memories. Strengthen your bond and show the next generation that even though we may not always agree on everything in life, we are family.

l.nash@caregiveroklahoma.com

As family, our love and respect for one another are stronger than anything. Honor your family legacy by being the best you personally can be, even if it is only for one day. But who knows? If each adult can put aside disagreements and pain, this holiday could be the keystone moment needed to heal and come together, as a family and as a nation, a precious time to strengthen our love and humanity for one another and to get back on track for the coming new year.

Account Executive ANGELA BLAKE

May God bless your family at this unprecedented time and may you truly cherish all you do have, one another. May we find comfort in the constant love of a merciful, always-forgiving God. Sincerely,

405.906.5405 m.browning@caregiveroklahoma.com

985.662.6581 a.blake@caregiveroklahoma.com

Accounting ANDREA O’HAIR

Digital Copy:

LaShanya L. Nash

CaregiverOklahoma.com

Publisher 6 CAREGIVER Magazine

Business Development MICHAEL E. BROWNING

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The

FUTURE of

America by LaShanya Nash

8 CAREGIVER Magazine

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When looking at the world around us, youth of the nation are typically clumped together in categories by age, not character, and many hasty generalizations about young people have come from that “kids these days” mindset. That type of thinking isn’t critical, fair, or factual. As a young woman, I was very active in clubs and organizations and found it extremely frustrating that those of us that were not criminally active in our teenage years got very little recognition for our positive accomplishments as our contributions to the community went largely unnoticed. As the publisher of CAREGIVER Magazine, the editorial staff and I are always on the lookout for great content to educate, enlighten and encourage everyone. I first became acquainted with the Newell family last year when an advertiser introduced me to Emerson Newell’s mother, Jessie, as well as her work honoring veterans in Oklahoma with photography and telling their stories. Jessie is quite possibly the most talented photographer I have ever met in my career. When you combine her generous heart, patriotism with an authentic and inspiring desire to honor Veterans through her work. To say I am a big fan and advocate for her causes is an understatement. The giving spirit of Derek and Jessie Newell has been instilled into their children. Their daughter, Emerson Newell, is now 17 years old and never imagined that what started out as a community service project in her freshmen year of high school (with a goal of twelve gift bags) would have grown to what it has. The first year, she dedicated the gift bags in honor of her great-grandpa, George Howell, that fought in WWII. Emerson soon realized that many of our Oklahoma

Veterans are without family, leaving them without a gift at Christmas. It was tragic to her and she wanted to do more and give more to veterans. Emerson shared that, “The need for basic items surprised me at first. The thought that someone that has sacrificed for our country actually needs soap and toothpaste is heartbreaking. This project has blessed our family in many ways. We have been able to invite Oklahoma into our lives to help our Veterans. People throughout the state come to our home to bring bags and will cry telling us the story of their Veteran. It has provided a way for people to honor loved ones they have personally lost. We try to give a complete bag, but it’s never been about what’s in the bag...it’s just making sure our Veterans know they are remembered. My future plans are to attend OSU and hopefully, one day serve Oklahoma as a radiologist.” Emerson realized that if more people joined in and helped with the bags, the more needs could be met, the more Veterans they could bring joy to at Christmas. The “WE CARE” project has exploded across the state. Students across Oklahoma are now involved and it has taken on a life of its own as youth of all ages have joined in to make a difference. Last year, Edmond FFA began assisting the WE CARE project. Kelly LaRue, Edmond FFA Parent Club member, explains how she and her daughter Brooke became involved, “A mutual friend introduced me to Jessie last summer telling me about the WE CARE Project. My daughter Brooke and I started on the project, we were thrilled with the amount of donations that we received. We asked Edmond FFA if they wanted to be involved and they jumped on it, two weeks later we had 250 bags! Talk about teamwork!

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to share what I am doing with other community members. I have been able to spread the word about the cause of supporting Veterans. The project has impacted me in a positive way, and giving back has proven to be a rewarding and touching experience. My future aspirations regarding this project include continuing to volunteer and donate once I leave high school. Overall my future aspirations are to work for a large agricultural company and continue to make positive impacts in people’s lives daily.”

It was definitely a learn-as-you-go adventure but this year, even with its challenges, we have been able to complete more than 250 bags - we don’t have an exact number yet, but we do know it’s close to 300 - with a lot more organization! I love the fact that these kids are making a difference in people’s lives! I am so proud of the WE CARE Project. The Newell’s and their network of people making this happen for our Vets is amazing!” Mason Jones, the Agricultural Education instructor from Edmond FFA explained, “Our chapter began participating in the WE CARE project last year and we received a really good response in terms of participation from students, parents, and other community members outside our organization. We have really enjoyed getting to help WE CARE. This year, we’ve had two student officers lead other members in our collection efforts for the care packages to be sent to Veterans. Their names are Aiden Coffelt and Juliana Murray.” Juliana Murray, a 17-year-old senior at Memorial High School, shared her experience with WE CARE; “I participate in making Christmas bags for our Veterans because they have sacrificed their lives to serve all of us. I found it especially important to participate this year due to the pandemic. Some of these Veterans have gone months without seeing their families, and they all deserve to experience joy and feel loved during the holiday season. Making Christmas bags for our Veterans allows us to show our appreciation for the work they have done. This project has changed how I see the sacrifice our Veterans have made in service to our Country because I have realized how important it is to show your continued appreciation for Veterans. It is important to support them, and from previous experience, even small items can bring them immense joy. The need for basic items in the bags did surprise me. I was not expecting there to be such a great need for items like socks, t-shirts, and toiletries. I expected there to be a larger focus on items like puzzle books and activities. These items are still included in the Christmas bag, but the basic items are a large part of the bag. I am proud to be a part of this cause. I have enjoyed being able 10 CAREGIVER Magazine

Aiden Coffelt, a 16-year-old Junior at North High School, explains why he gives of himself to WE CARE, “I participate in making Christmas bags for our veterans because it makes me feel good just giving a small thing back to them around the holidays for everything they have done for me. I think my perspective has changed a little bit just knowing many Veterans do end up in nursing homes and assisted community living centers before other elderly people do. The need for basic items does not surprise me because they do not get to see many people these days and whenever you get a chance to make someone’s day, I’m all about it.” It is quite incredible that one spark from the heart of Emerson Newell has ignited a grassroots effort to help the Veterans living in Oklahoma’s seven VA living centers, with over 1400 veterans calling them home. The energy and effort of all the many participants help these Veterans receive more than a gift bag, much more so the validation that they are not forgotten. They are shown respect and honored through the outpouring of love and genuine desire to give back to them. Veterans are the protectors of our rights and freedoms, because of them we get to chose how we celebrate Christmas. WE CARE is an awe-inspiring cause for all ages, if you would like to get involved call 405-214-8633.

Issue 14

WE CARE Oklahoma

CaregiverOklahoma.com

Find the services you need in Oklahoma at CaregiverNearYou.com

ASK Lisa By Lisa Sydnor

The staff of CAREGIVER Magazine is committed to connecting those in need with services and programs.

If you have a question, call 405-314-7840 or email l.sydnor@caregiveroklahoma.com Include your name and phone number in the message.

How are you planning your holiday menus? You should really remove all your jewelry when prepping food and cooking. First, according to my jeweler, our jewelry is one of the worst offenders in carrying germs. Second, food residue and grease are actually harmful to your jewelry. My jeweler said if we looked through his magnifier, we would be shocked and disgusted. This reminds me, I guess I will take my rings in to be cleaned.

Are you concerned that you will not have enough food? Included at the end of this article is a list of food pantries and organizations providing holiday food baskets. We want everyone to have the opportunity to have food in the pantry and on the table every day; but especially on Thanksgiving and Christmas. What is your family tradition for Thanksgiving and Christmas? We had turkey and beer biscuits for Thanksgiving and at Christmas we go ethnic sometimes Mexican or Cajun or maybe a chili cook-off. We are all so caught up in cleanliness, sterilization, wearing masks, social distancing, etc; perhaps we are overlooking a few things that should be routine. This is meant as a meal time memory jogger! When in the kitchen consider wearing gloves. If you have long fingernails (whatever the type), your nails are carriers. Wearing gloves when prepping meals is recommended EXCEPT when using knives. Never put your hands into the food to mix it without gloves. Using utensils is preferable to using your hands. I was raised to put my hands into the preparations - especially kneading dough or mixing meatloaf! So now, with gloves.

Another thing, if your hair is long you should pull it back in a ponytail, or topknot, when prepping and cooking. Unless it is really short, you might even consider a hairnet. It isnâ€™t very attractive, but it will keep hair out of your food. It could also save you from getting burned. The other day I leaned over to reach something on the counter - it was a farther stretch than I thought - and my hair came dangerously close to the flame. Not a smart move on my part but we do things everyday without thinking of the consequences. Be proactive.

www.regionalfoodbank.org/get-help 211â€™s website: www.heartlineoklahoma.org

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Now, let’s talk about clothing. Don’t wear loose sleeves. They can easily catch fire. Don’t say, “I’ll just push them up, no problem.” Yes it is. Think about being safe and perhaps not burning down the house. I’m just saying! Yes, I speak from experience on this tip too, ruffles on my long-sleeved blouse! Do you use cloth rags to wash dishes and a dish towel for drying? Change them out every day. Not too many items in the kitchen carry as many germs as used dish washing cloths or dishtowels. Do you disinfect your counter tops, stove, sinks, faucets, refrigerator (inside and out), oven, cabinet fronts, tables and chairs on a daily basis? Those surfaces should be disinfected after every use. What about your floors and outside doors? Even if you do not mop daily, you should spray your floor and wipe down the doors daily. Now, what about your car? You need to sanitize your vehicle every time you use it. Keep wipes in the glove box, not just for your hands, but also for the dashboard, steering wheel and door controls. Don’t forget the seat controls and center storage. You should keep a spray disinfectant handy to spray on the seats and floor mats. Be sure it is NOT bleach based, bleach spots on your upholstery is not a look we are suggesting! Read the labels. CAREGIVER Magazine wants you to have a joyous holiday season. That is impossible if you are worried over food shortage. Melanie Anthony, United Way, stated,

“Our recommendation, as well as others that address food insecurity is to contact 211 for the food pantry closest to you, or, the Regional Food Bank of Oklahoma has a great tool where you can enter your zip code and it pulls up the pantry closest to you, and provides the phone numbers and hours (they still recommend calling before you go).”

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CAREGIVER Magazine wishes you a safe, satisfying and Merry Christmas. Find the services you need in Oklahoma at CaregiverNearYou.com

with that healthy supplement. Fortunately, I am not too sensitive when the people around me laugh at my expense. Actually I think of it as an achievement, a somewhat curious gift I never have to work for. For this particular article I broadly searched the Internet; and if it made me laugh, it was included herein. Some of the content is obviously so ridiculous that you smile at the sheer dumbness of it. But when you get to the end, feel free to email me at r.lamberson@caregiveroklahoma.com and thank me profusely. That’s the first joke (in case you missed it). As a member of the growing number of senior citizens, I am privileged to attend an aerobics class three times a week (well, the class is three times a week, not that I make every class). In age, we range from barely classified as a senior, to our mentor who is ninety-nine. All the males in the class have faded away, so we are a group of females who have lively conversations that cover a large range of topics (which, come to think of it, may have influenced the male fade).

“On the Lighter Side” By Humorist and Novelist Robbie Lamberson

Maybe Better Than Medicine

The point is we are all interested in staying active for as long as possible. With that thought in mind, here is one of the current exercises recommended for us to do at home.

I know that finding any humor during our current situation is not always easy, and some are finding it impossible, but hopefully while reading this article you will find yourself smiling, if not actually chuckling right out loud.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface where you have plenty of room on each side.

Humor is imperative to our health and wellbeing. Laughing deep and long is the best curative antidote for what ails us - both physically and mentally. Without any effort on my part, I always seem able to provide people

With a five pound potato bag in each hand, extend arms straight out from your side and hold them for as long as you can. Try to reach for a minute. Then relax. Each day you will be able to hold this position a little longer.

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 60

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After a couple of weeks, move up to 10 lb. bags in each hand. Then up to 50 lb. bags and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100 lb. potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight out for a full minute. I’m at this level now. After you feel comfortable at this level for several days, place a medium sized potato in each bag! A couple from my church recently posted this on Facebook, surprising me, as I didn’t realize they were wealthy people: “Anybody interested in a helicopter ride for 4 people? I’m looking for 2 more adults to join me and Carolyn. We’re leaving early Saturday morning from Oklahoma City and will fly to Destin, Florida, where we will have lunch on a yacht. Sunday we plan to fly over the Smoky Mountains to see the fall colors and return back home late Sunday evening. If interested, please message me! Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht, otherwise we can’t go…” A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark: 17.”

Just saw a donkey crossing the road. Cool thing was, he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart ass! Someone asked me if Baptists have services where we bless animals. I asked if saying grace over fried chicken at a potluck dinner counted! I was at lunch with an old friend and pointed at two elderly ladies across the room and said, “That will be us in ten years!” She said, “That’s a mirror!” Now I’m going to share my favorite joke, it’s my favorite because it’s the only one I can consistently remember… A brunette, a red head, and a blonde were walking in the park when the brunette said, “Oh look, a dead bird!” The blonde looked up at the sky and said, “Where?” This is a true story. I was visiting with my cousin Linda, telling her about my sweet old pug, “We have conversations all the time. I talk and she answers me.” Linda (without pause or a hint of irony) said, “My sister Beckye had a basset hound that cussed.”

The following Sunday as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark: 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, “Mark only has sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”

If you still haven’t smiled, at least a little, then I haven’t done my job yet. Perhaps these little pearls of wisdom may give you something to consider:

Imagine if you will: an atheist stuck at a green light behind a car with a “Honk if you love Jesus” bumper sticker.

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1515

Living With Purpose

“We give thanks to Thee, O God; we give thanks; we call on Thy name and recount Thy wondrous deeds.” ~ Psalm 75:1 When you wake up to a new and glorious day, do you say thank you to God? When you kiss your spouse good morning, do you say, “Thank You” for this person I have chosen to live my life with? When you sit down for a meal, do you say, “Thank You” for this food I am about to receive, and may it nourish my body? When you see your child, do you say, “Thank You” for this precious gift? When you are listening to uplifting music, do you say, “Thank You” for the opportunity to enjoy another person’s creative talent? Yes? No? Sometimes? Do you neglect to thank God for all of the blessings in your life? God gave us life so that we might enjoy His creation. Why wouldn’t we give thanks to God for all that we have?

Give Thanks With An Open Heart By Denise Heath The holiday season is here! And even in the tumultuous year of our Lord, 2020, we are reminded that we have much to be grateful for. In the midst of our celebrations, it’s at this moment that we also feel the pain of those no longer with us. As Charles Dickens wrote, “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.” If, at this time, we are indeed grateful, to whom should we be most grateful? How often do you give thanks to Him?

My favorite way of giving thanks to Him is a game I created with my children many years ago. Maybe you remember it; I call it quite simply, The Thankful Game. In the mid 80’s, I was a student at Phillips Seminary in Enid, Oklahoma. I was also a student minister in Peckham, Oklahoma. This wonderful church was an hour and a half drive from Enid. My three sons were all under the age of nine. Driving long distances, with three rowdy boys confined in a car, was character building for a single mother.

Being grateful does not mean that everything is necessarily good. It just means that you can accept it as a gift. ~ Roy T. Bennett

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So that’s how The Thankful Game came about. Each person says one thing that they are thankful for like, “I’m thankful for the birds and their songs.” “I’m thankful for cows and the fields they graze in.” “I’m thankful for my parents, my brother, and my sister.” Sometimes, it got silly and we would say things like, “I’m thankful for the lines on the road, and the telephone wires.” My sons would name anything they could think of, and everything they saw. My personal favorite came from my middle son. He said, “I’m thankful for gravity. It keeps us stuck to the ground.” We erupted in laughter! For a moment, we all had visions of floating up into the atmosphere and then on into space itself. The point is, even in our random frivolity, we were giving thanks to God. We were acknowledging Him, honoring Him (and all His creations).

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It’s easy to be thankful when times are good. It’s such a simple thing to do. But what about when times are dark? Maybe, when times are bad, it’s at that moment that finding something - anything - to be thankful for can be of the utmost benefit to our soul.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:6-7 Here’s an exercise that might prove helpful. Make a “Thankful List” of as many things as you can think of. Keep it with you. Refer to it daily. And when you do, check your temperature. How do you feel? Do you feel better (if only for a moment)? Sometimes those feelings of gratitude are all we need to get through the day. Give thanks for the small things, give thanks for the big things, and try to do both frequently.

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5+ years as Healthcare Educator

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Safekeeping Our Keepsakes by Michael Edward Browning

How do you hold a memory? We might expect that we hold our memories in our hearts and minds. What about when our hearts and minds need a little help? What about memories with a material aspect that we’ve carted along with us since we made those memories firsthand (sometimes many years or decades before)? The firstplace prize, the game-winning ball, the mountains of keepsakes, all the photos down the hall; precious memory bringers, each and every one.

“It’s really hard for some folks to get rid of some of that stuff. Once they start shedding, it does get progressively easier for them, but to start with, they just don’t want to get rid of anything.” I empathize as she continues,

In (eager?) anticipation of my own imminent downsizing, I had occasion to ask Margot Gonzales of Caring Transitions in Moore, how do the pros do it?

Since it’s mostly the sight (‘tho sometimes it’s the smell) of an item that floods the mind with memories of “that time”, digital imagery seems like a reasonable initial approach to preserving the physically visual. Now that we can store those photo albums on our phones, these digital solutions can deliver on both cost and space economy. Other settings on these devices can ring regular alarms for us to reminisce.

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“We have them take a picture and start a memory photo album.”

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Catch and Release Touted as a sustainable way to enjoy the sport of fishing, I’ll submit to you that catch and release is also a sustainable method to enjoy the sport of living - at least as far as it goes with warehousing touchstones of the past. This goes against some of my most core natures (or early programs). Born on Christmas Day 1927 in Jefferson City, Missouri, my mother formed much of her early childhood worldview through the lens of the Great Depression. Even as the last in a long line of grandchildren visiting the Homestead during the 1970s I can still recall my grandmother’s kitchen organization. 50 years later, still surrounded by evidence that the lens had not dimmed or fogged. There’s the drawer with neatly folded recycled foil, plastic bread and paper bags, rubber bands, corks, twist ties and such. Nothing was wasted. Fast forward another half-century as my mom roller coasters through her personal downsizing demons, expanding and contracting over the past quarter-century, ultimately logging three significant estate sales before

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moving into her independent living apartment. While spacious, safe and comfortable, it is only about 20 to 25% of the floor space in her last house. How does one encapsulate the items and memories of 90 something years, and retain their accessibility? How can we keep these “pieces of us“ top of mind, but not underfoot?

Get Creative! Maybe there’s some item you already have that can be used to showcase your memories. Margot tells me that people, “might have one special hutch and they can take whatever memories might fit in that one hutch or one glass cabinet.” My mom liked to collect. Mostly antiques, but some small stuff too, porcelain, crystal, pop art or sewing and cooking related knick-knacks. She used thimble displays, shadow boxes and compartmentalized desk drawers to hold her more miniature memories and collections, to hang them on the wall (often downsizing the collection to only her most cherished pieces). At a recent yard sale I saw an excellent example of someone’s grandmother’s washboard fashioned into

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a hinged shelf similar to a medicine chest; a memory chest! This type of item could perform double duty if a relative was the crafter. Margot adds, “If their father made something, they don’t want to let that go. Like if he built it himself, or their mother handcrafted something, or their grandparents, they do not want to give that up.” Maybe it’s not genetic, but I tend towards a historian. I like to keep and collect all kinds of stuff but perhaps my weightiest guilty pleasure, addiction, is paper. Books, notebooks, sketch pads and entirely unbound papers of all types. During a recent move, I decided I could not move a few boxes of paper on this round. Office documents, seven-plus years old financial records, written correspondence, printed emails, and vacation travel itineraries. I stacked the boxes, put the camera on a tripod and lit a fire in the backyard. I now have a threehour video unboxing items, sharing a story on camera as the item is incinerated in the fire pit. Seven boxes and almost 80 pounds later, not just a physical, but a mental weight has been lifted. That reminds me, I should sit and watch that sometime.

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Family is the living ornament of the holiday season, a gem that is kindled with memories of celebrations past. As we bask in “Auld Lang Syne”, we try to hang on to the moment and find ourselves wishing it would last just a little longer.

The Toughest of Topics By John Spivey

Giving, Receiving & Grieving

During the Holidays Thanksgiving? Yum! Christmas? Yes!

Another holiday season is upon us. It’s a time again for giving, receiving, and grieving. Grieving? Who wants to grieve at this time of year? No one does, of course, but it is during this season that for many, feelings of loss are intensified. The holidays are “peak times,” when events are centered on family and tradition, and it’s at these times that we most want things to be as they have always been. We grieve because we have lost something dear and precious, and in the midst of our grief, it is hard to see our way out. Sure, we tell ourselves, things will get better. Then memories intrude and our hearts begin to break all over again.

Even though we may feel as if we are dying inside, the sensation of grieving means that we are very much alive.

My parents were heavily invested in the holidays, and I don’t mean financially. They appreciated the meaning of family in a way that my sisters and I never could. Both my mom and dad grew up in orphanages during the Great Depression. We’ve tried to imagine what it must have been like for them, but we can’t. We were blessed with parents who knew real hardship, and the meaning of loss. Lucky us. Their loss was our gain. But our good fortune did not stop there. We were given one blessing more - a woman by the name of Mary Thomas. Mary Thomas was “Mema” to us, our grandmother and by now you understand that she was not a blood relation. This further underscores just how special she was. She embraced my mother, who had only vague memories of her mother, and gave her the support and guidance that she had always longed for. She, her husband, Tommy (“Papa”), and her daughter, Mary, adopted us, making Thanksgiving and Christmas into the most looked-for events of our year. One of the memories I cherish is of her car. It was a 1950’s era Studebaker and it was an official “Christmobile” (which one of my oldest friends, Dr. Greg Khoury, described so hilariously in his book, “Oklahoma Summers”). All good Catholics owned one back then. On our way to Mass at the awe inspiring Our Lady’s Cathedral, Cindy, Mary, Patty and I would race to her car. We ran because we all wanted to sit in the front seat. You see, the dashboard was adorned with beautiful figurines of Jesus, the Blessed Virgin, and Rosaries, all strategically placed. Before she started the car, she examined their positions to ensure that all was as it should be. She had to be ADHD. Or OCD. Mema became the jewel that adorned the top of our family tree. Remembering her will always make me feel sad at this time of year but inevitably, I will smile too because when I think of her, I’m also reminded of this:

“And now abideth faith, hope and love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” If the holiday blues threaten your celebrations, consider the following.

I can think of no better remedy for grief than family.

START NEW TRADITIONS It’s hard to sit down with family for the customary holiday

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meal only to see that one empty seat. Your heart tells you that things will never be the same. It’s at these times that change, as in the establishment of new traditions, can help you. Are you always the host? Let someone else wear the chef’s apron. Do you always open presents on Christmas Day? Open them on Christmas Eve this year. Talk with your family about possible changes. THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT TO GRIEF We should simply be honest with our children when talking about death and divorce. But we should do this according to their developmental age, not their chronological age. Talk with them on their level, but make sure you talk with them. Allow them to ask any question. Allow them to express both positive and negative emotions. And then hear them out. Really listen to their thoughts. They need to feel as if their ideas are important. PARTICIPATE WHEN YOU CAN If you’re feeling down, participate at a level with which you feel comfortable. Try not to isolate yourself. You might even consider volunteering your time to a charitable organization. Inform others of your needs. Help them to help you. Above all, talk to someone, even a professional, if you feel the need. TAKE TIME TO GRIEVE So many sights, sounds, even smells, will bring back memories. When you feel like crying, and you will, then cry.

It isn’t healthy to hold back. Whether you take the time to or not, whether you want to or not, you will grieve. You may avoid it for a while but your grief will seek, and find, a less healthy outlet. PAMPER YOURSELF Buy yourself a present, something you’ve always wanted (and you don’t have to wait until December 25th to open it). Pick a day after a particularly rough time and reward yourself for getting through it. Give yourself some breathing room and understand that mood swings are natural (both for you and those around you). Finally, remember that the best thing we can give to each other is the gift of our time. On behalf of CAREGIVER Magazine, and myself, let me wish you the happiest of holidays.

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and are knowledgeable about aging-in-place home modifications, common remodeling projects and solutions to common barriers.

A HOME FIT FOR LIVING

OR AGING IN PLACE! By Lisa Sydnor

Mention AARP to a group of ten people and you will probably get ten different responses as to what AARP contributes to seniors. AARP represents strong lobbying (both in your state and on the national level); AARP promotes safe driving and driving courses; AARP represents supplemental insurance; AARP answers questions about Medicare; AARP offers discounts through partnerships with many merchants; AARP has a magazine. But do you know how AARP is helping seniors - and those not yet seniors - as well as contractors and architects in renovating, designing and building homes to allow and encourage aging-in-place? The program is called HomeFit, and you can find it at: www.aarp.org/homefit There are videos, handouts and trained specialists working to assist anyone wanting to have a home built - or to remodel your home - to last a lifetime. A home that both withstands Oklahoma winds and is built to ease us through the aging process, what a concept! There are beautiful landscaping and architectural designs to eliminate “steps.” This is not done by installing unsightly or invasive ramps but by making the incline from driveway to front door, no matter how steep the elevation, a part of the architecture and landscaping of the home. The National Association of Home Builders (NAHB), in collaboration with AARP and other experts, developed the Certified Aging-in-Place Specialist (CAPS) designation, which is achieved through training and testing during a multicourse educational program. Achieving a CAPS certification says you understand the unique needs of the older adult population 24

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Wider door frames, no thresholds, no steps or stairs, bathrooms and bedrooms that accommodate wheelchairs, tub and shower chairs that are not ugly additions but the beautiful standard. Strategically placed grab bars that blend into the décor, that are well thought out and purposeful, are critical to the wellbeing of a majority of the population as they provide stability in entering or exiting the shower, tub or at the commode. Lever door handles; appropriate lighting and rocker light switches; adjustable showerheads; having a table on the outside of the entry door so you have a place to set things when juggling the keys are just a few of the many helpful and ingenious hints to make your home “ageless”. Pullout rail drawers and shelving; in the kitchen, bathroom, or bedrooms grants you full access to cabinets and closets. Utility rooms and pantries can be designed for maximum accessibility. I can attest to the delight of having pullout shelving in the kitchen. When my son renovated (gutted) his kitchen, he built pullout shelves, drawers, and an amazing pantry. They certainly make life easier on a tired back - and wonder of wonders - you can actually see what’s on the back of the shelf without the benefit of a stepladder! At the 2019 conference? hosted by Eunice Khoury, I sat in on a presentation by Mashell Sourjohn, AARP Oklahoma Associate State Director of Community Outreach and Kendra Orcutt, Occupational Therapist and AARP Oklahoma Volunteer Lead for the HomeFit Program. I was enthralled and amazed at the possibilities for any home! Do you want to age-in-place? Are you buying or building a new home? Check out the website, then talk with your builder and architect. Make these functional and beautiful ideas a part of your home’s interior and exterior design now. HOMEFIT IS ALL ABOUT COMFORT AND ACCESSIBILITY, READY TO LEARN MORE? • www.aarp.org/homefit The AARP HomeFit Guide was created by the AARP Livable Communities team and has been newly “remodeled” in September. Copies are available for download or can be ordered in print. • AOTA.org Although the AOTA is a professional association for occupational therapists, assistants and students, the... • BetterLivingDesign.org Homes in America are not currently designed and built to accommodate everyone in... Mashell Sourjohn has just finished a complete renovation of their home. She responded to my inquiry with some incredible before and after pictures along with a quick note, “Thank you so much for your interest and spreading news about AARP’s HomeFit. Absolutely! We incorporated all of the components of HomeFit Issue 14

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• • • • • • • • into our remodel. I have included a video of our before and after (watch it here: https://animoto.com/play/ oDCgbsKaBrYp7EDbms2dIg). A few design elements employed to ensure our home is a life-long home include: • Exterior walkways in a safe condition, free of tripping hazards. • Has entryway exterior lighting and pathway lighting. • Home’s address number is clearly visible from the street and lit for night visibility. • Entrance door at least 32” wide with secured storm door. • Entry space is free of tripping hazards, such as scatter or throw rugs. • Installed entrance door with a zero-step entry. • Installed an entrance door lever-style handle with a deadbolt. • Entrance door has a new peephole and a viewing doorbell security device. • Installed a bench in entry space. • Kitchen has a work surface you can use while seated.

• • • • • • • • • • • •

Cabinet handles are D-shaped. Kitchen cabinets and shelves are easy to reach. Kitchen has a lever-style faucet. Stove model has controls near the front. Bracing was incorporated for grab bars in shower. Installed a comfort-height toilet. Designed a shower that has a zero-step entry with a shower door entry of 34”. Installed a handheld showerhead on a sliding, height-adjustable bar. Installed a seat or bench in the shower. Bathroom cabinets are easy to reach. All mats used on the bathroom floor are now rubber-backed and non-slip. Widened bathroom interior doorway to 38”. Installed rocker-style light switches and dimmers. Created natural light in our living spaces. Large area rugs are secured with non-slip mats or double-sided tape. Hallway and living space has a working smoke detector. A carbon monoxide detector in every hallway and living space. Flashlights handy in multiple rooms (in case of a power failure). Washer and dryer easily accessible with height stand, front load vs. top load. Removed walls to create a more open concept, increasing accessibility.

If YOU want a presentation, either to a group or one-on-one counseling, contact Mashell Sourjohn at msourjohn@aarp.org or call 405-715-4474 (o) or 405-757-8600. Surf to aarp.org/ livable-communities/info-2014/home-fit-resources-worksheets. html for resources you can view or download.

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C MMUNITY HEARTBEAT By Lisa Sydnor The Areawide Aging Agency (AAA) operates across Canadian, Cleveland, Logan, and Oklahoma counties. AAA is partially funded by the Oklahoma Department of Human Services and a significant portion of the budget comes through the Older Americans Act which became law in 1966. AAA is a leading organization for senior citizens as well as the disabled to contact for help. They provide clients access to a Help Line for information or referrals, and a number of services ranging from the Home Delivered Meals to Respite Care and Support. Some of the services available to seniors aged 60 and over, as well as to individuals with disabilities or lowincome individuals, include:

Schoeb continued saying, “Project staff is focused on staying in touch with their clients through phone calls, text messages and emails. The vast majority of communication is via phone calls. The calls are basically wellness checks but go beyond that, as often a staff person is on a call for longer than ten minutes. The goal of all calls is to be a life-line, that connection to the world, that calm voice of caring and concern. Clients need to talk, connect, expressing their fears and anxiety without judgment. That is primary now. Online counseling and support groups are available for all programs.”

• Congregate and Home Delivered Meals • Evidence Based Health Promotion • Nutrition Education • In-Home Assistance • Outreach • Caregiver Assistance • Respite • Legal Services • Transportation • Grandparents Raising Grandchildren • Long Term Care Ombudsman Chief Executive Officer, Blair Schoeb, updated their continued response providing quality services, stating, “In spite of the quarantine, Areawide and our partners have successfully adjusted our programs and continue to provide critically important services to our clients. Approximately 17,000 meals are provided to seniors each week. Our information and assistance telephone line continues to provide vital information on services to seniors and their families. Our seniors continue to be transported to and from doctor’s appointments.”

Thankfully, the meal program has continued to function, including adding many more meals - from congregate sites to home delivery. There is not enough staff to fulfill all the requests on a daily basis. In many cases, meals for all seven days are delivered weekly. These are either packaged or frozen meals. AAA received $580,000 from the federal government and the Department of Human Services to expand the number of seniors receiving homedelivered meals. Aging-in-place is a priority for Areawide Aging Agency. Treating all with dignity and ensuring they can remain safely in their own homes as long as possible continues to be the mission and the goal of the agency. For additional information on programs and services, contact Areawide Aging Agency at https://www.areawideaging.org or call 405-942-8500.

For additional information on programs and services, contact Areawide Aging Agency at www.areawideaging.org or call 405-942-8500. 26

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UPDATING THE QUARANTINE IMPACT ON OUR COMMUNITY

United Way of Central Oklahoma works to address various social issues identified through research and collaboration with community stakeholders. As trends emerge, new initiatives are created to respond to community needs. Debby Hampton, CEO of United Way of Central Oklahoma (UWCO) has introduced me to UWCO staff that provides the vital information of current programming. Melanie Anthony, Vice President of Community Impact, provided an update on the quarantine impact numbers. Melanie stated, “Our partner agency, HeartLine 211, shared numbers from March 1 to September 30, 2020, reporting nearly 60,000 calls for assistance compared to just over 28,000 calls during the same time period in 2019. By call volume, the top four call needs were: Disaster Services, up 1068%; Listening and Support, up 464%; Income Support/ Assistance, up 363%; and Health Care, up 186%”. HeartLine’s mission is simple: to connect Oklahomans to help, hope and information - 24 hours a day. Just dial 2-1-1 for information on accessing help. The services covered include (but are not limited to): food pantries; utility; rental; clothing; mental health; homeless shelters; child services; senior services; counseling; suicide prevention; and disaster services.

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For more information on United Way and collaborating agencies, call Melanie Anthony at 405-523-3522 (o) or United Way’s main number at 405-236-8441. Check out the website: unithedwayokc.org or find them on Facebook – Twitter – Instagram – YouTube. Find the services you need in Oklahoma at CaregiverNearYou.com

ripped our country along the Mason-Dixon Line - or the heartbreak of Vietnam - was not more divisive than what we are experiencing today. This division is growing across America like a deadly cancer destroying patriotism, fairness, love for one another, all while fostering a hatred for God that we have never experienced in our republic’s history. There was a time in the not too distant past that our children learned the Golden Rule in their classrooms, and a sincere appreciation that this country was revered around the world. This pride of patriotism lasted throughout their lives. Pledging allegiance to our beautiful country and praying the Lord’s Prayer daily instilled a devotion to God and country that the current generation of school age children has been deprived of, much to our detriment and theirs. Can anyone reasonably argue that the children of today are more secure, happier, more loving than previous generations? Do your school age children feel safe? Do they seem secure in themselves? Do they feel safe in their schoolrooms, or safe anywhere?

Day By Day

There has always been that minute example of extreme evil present, but it was so very rare that the only effect it had on the majority of American citizens was a shaking of heads (in disbelief that any person could perform such reprehensible acts against their fellow man or woman). Now it has become the norm, seldom making the front page of our local newspaper. The cancer growing across - and infringing upon - every state in our nation is evil in its purest form. Up has become down, right has become wrong, individual privilege takes precedence over the majority. Children are no longer a cherished commodity but something to be cast away of no significance, and Almighty God has been ridiculed, reduced to nothing…

Day by day, our world and lives as we’ve known them are changing dramatically. That statement is not news to anyone on this aging planet. I would like to think (naively) that someday soon my life will go back to the normal that I had grown accustomed to, but, deep down I am aware that life is changing and will have to be learned anew, lived, and hopefully enjoyed. So I am preparing myself to be open to seeing with new eyes, conscious that nothing stays the same. I will have to learn a new mindfulness of peace, a keen appreciation for kindness shown, and giving out love like never before.

Forty-five years ago I became interested in the last book of the bible. A book by Hal Lindsey (with Carole C. Carlson) titled, “The Late, Great Planet Earth”, opened a door that led to other doors and a lifetime of searching. Before I read his book, I knew little about the Last Days, The Rapture, The Tribulation, or the Millennial Reign of Christ on this earth. It has been a huge eye- opening experience that allows me to quote the old hymn written by Horatio Spafford, “It Is Well With My Soul,” no matter the circumstances around me.

We have become much more aware that the things we used to be assured of are no longer dependable. Our good health is now a day to day blessing that we have become acutely cognizant of. There is a feeling of fear hovering over us that was not a part of our daily existence before. Where has all the anger and viciousness come from? Good question, but without a single rational answer. America is racially, morally, and spiritually in a deep division. Matthew 12: 25 states,

“Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.”

Because of my personal relationship with God the Father and my savior Jesus Christ, I can live each day without fear, completely secure and safe from all alarm. Joy and peace are a part of my daily existence. Do I realize that most of the world population would give anything to have that confidence? Yes! And I also know that the simple act of hearing the gospel and accepting the free gift of salvation is open to all.

Can anyone doubt that we are a divided nation unlike ever before? Even the devastating civil war that

The big problem for most people is they believe that giving up their control is too difficult a task. The sadness

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of that is incomprehensible to me. God’s plan for our lives is always better, by far, than anything we could ever imagine. With God in control of our lives, nothing is impossible. What value can you put on a life 100% free of fear with 100% assurance that you are loved and cherished and will have eternal life? If you are looking for a sure thing, this is it! If you are searching for that great deal, this is definitely it! The Book of Revelation is God’s gift to His children, and this is the generation that Revelation was always meant for. No one knows the exact hour or day of The Rapture, not even the Son, only the Father. But our Heavenly Father wanted His children to be prepared and not be caught unaware, so He gave John the visions he was to write about for a future generation. When people see the signs that would signal the last days of earth, then we were to prepare for The Rapture of the church. I’ll cut to the deepest bones of the message from Revelation…all that was prophesied to occur before The Rapture has happened! Every single thing that we were to be watching for - has now occurred! There is only one thing that stands between you and the seven years of tribulation, and that is The Rapture! The time is very near and every single living human being is at a crossroads…choose your steps wisely!

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Longterm Care Options in Oklahoma

ASSISTED LIVING

— Brought to you by the Oklahoma Assisted Living Association —

ASSISTED LIVING A home or establishment that may provide assistance with personal care, medications, ambulation, nursing supervision and intermittent or unscheduled nursing care. They cannot provide 24-hour skilled nursing care. Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health Mainly Private Pay, LTC Insurance may cover , VA Aid & Attendance, & Tribal Benefits Medicaid Option through DHS (Advantage Waiver)

NURSING HOME A nursing facility that provides 24-hour skilled nursing care and related services for residents who require medical or nursing care. Nursing Home Care Act - October 1, 1980. Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health. Nursing homes provide the highest level of care. Options for Medicare/Medicaid

ADULT DAY CARE Provides health, recreational, social and supportive services to impaired adults for more than four hours per day. Participants do not stay in the center overnight. Adult Day Care Act - November 1, 1989 Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health VA allows respite benefits Medicaid Option through DHS (Advantage Waiver)

VETERANS CARE Created in 2013, this program is for residents who are veterans living in the state veteran’s centers. They are licensed as a nursing facility and can provide 24-hour skilled nursing care and related services for residents who require medical or nursing care . Falls under Nursing Home Care Act - May 29, 2013. Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health

CONTINUUM OF CARE Combines the services of a nursing facility with an assisted living center or an adult day care center. It is licensed under the Continuum of Care and Assisted Living Act and must also meet requirements applicable to nursing facilities, assisted living centers and adult day care centers. Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health Currently inOklahoma, all Continuum of Care’s only have assisted livings. Medicaid Option through DHS (Advantage Waiver) for Assisted Living and Adult Day Care.

RESIDENTIAL CARE HOMES Provide residential accommodations, food service, and supportive assistance. May also provide assistance with meals, dressing, bathing, other personal needs, and medication administration. Cannot provide medical care such as skilled nursing. Residential Care Act - November 1, 1984 Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health A typical residential care resident is younger than other long term care options and only requires assistant with medication administration. NO Options for Medicare/Medicaid

INDEPENDENT SENIOR LIVING/HOME CARE Apartments, cottages, and single-family homes for seniors 55 & over who do not require assistance with daily activities or 24/7 skilled nursing but may benefit from convenient services, senior-friendly surround-ings, and increased social opportunities. NOT Licensed by Oklahoma State Department of Health. No oversight since they are not licensed. May have “High Acuity” that is receiving Home Health and or Hospice services. 30

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Preserving your health, wealth, and the freedom to live life the way you choose! EUNICE KHOURY

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After

We The

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The Subversion of Free Speech

AMERICAN FREEDOMS UNDER ATTACK

People

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

By Abigail Q. Hill

We The People are under attack. Every American who values their constitutional rights is being victimized by our own tyrannical legacy media and Orwellian style big tech companies. Heavily biased commentators pose as legitimate journalists yet they seem in the everexpanding concert hall of chicanery that We The People now find ourselves herded into, they are the conductors of chaos, the maestros of mayhem censoring any tune trying to be heard other than their own clanging narrative. We are not allowed to critic their voice, tone, or selections no matter how shrill it fills our ears. Clap, smile, and shut your mouth and like it or else, we are censored. Our thoughts and opinions if they differ from them, we are canceled, branded a scourge on society. Where have the professional norms of journalism gone? Legitimate news must contain the “Five Ws” (who, what, when, where, why, and also how) of an event. With the journalist’s heartfelt desire to find and report the truth of the story. They are by profession to be skeptical and verify the facts and accuracy of the story. American journalists have been expected historically by the public to maintain professional integrity to be objective, impartial, and not take sides or express personal feelings on the story being reported. Commentators or analysts provide an opinion or their own personal points of view on any given topic or story. Typically they are seen as the entertainment branch of media sprinkled in with the legitimate news for seasoning and flavor. But not the strength and backbone of the news organization. But that is no longer the case. There are very few credible journalists left in America they are a dying breed. They have either committed professional suicide by becoming soulless sellouts or have been cannibalized by the viewer’s or listener’s desire to be entertained more than educated. Alternative media organizations have seen an explosion over the past decade by an ever-growing disenfranchised public who are thirsty for the truth or at the very least We The People desire to hear the news with journalistic integrity and not be scolded and chastised for our views and beliefs. 32

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Legacy media has become so pompous and vile in their hatred and disgust for the average American that they have cut their nose off to spite their face, so to speak. I want to throw something out there, it is radical, wait for it... We The People have this nifty gadget called a remote control, and when every channel we flip to has some arrogant, well-coifed, out of touch imbecile screaming at us to hate ourselves because they are repulsed by us for a myriad of reasons.

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Guess what? We can cancel them right back with the off button and we have. Flooding in droves to alternative media where we feel at the very least respected for viewing or reading the content they provide. Here’s the rub, the legacy media, and these cyber mobsters: Google, YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter are censoring us and taking away our ability to remain informed. Censorship has become big business for “big brother” and big media. Cancel culture is being shoved down our throats by these sham media and cowardly internet “Social Justice Warriors”. Over the years social media platforms have given freedom for the average person to have a voice, express their thoughts and opinions. To sound off or weigh in on issues that matter to us personally. Whether they are credible, sane, logical, rational, or valid was up to the viewer, listener, or reader to decide for themselves.

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The unconstitutional censorship of Free Speech by Big Tech companies and Social Media Giants is in direct disregard and violation of section 230 of the Common Decency Act which without section 230, the risk of liability and the potentially astronomical cost of litigation would be too burdensome for them to exist, much less operate.

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Newspapers, Radio, and TV have publishers and editors that oversee the validity and credibility of sources - they are not protected under section 230 - they can be sued for defamation of character, slander, and libel if what is dispersed to the public has intentional malice at its core. Social media is meant to be a platform for the free speech of individuals and under 230 they can’t be sued because they are a free speech hosting platform, not a publisher.

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As of late, these Social Media Giants have violated their intended and protected purpose by censoring voices for no other apparent reason than those voices don’t coincide with their agenda.

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Jack Dorsey CEO, Twitter

Mark Zuckerberg CEO, Facebook

That is suppression at the very least. If proven to be calculated and intentionally malicious, it is treasonous. They have been granted special protections covered by federal law, a safe harbor. These companies have made billions of dollars because of their guarded status covered by the Common Decency Act. So how have they repaid We The People? By violating our 1st Amendment rights, canceling, or banning voices that don’t fit their narrative or opinion. But hold up, they by law can not have a narrative or opinion? They have now gone rogue and are operating in complete and seditious violation of the law under the terms of Section 230. They are to be free speech platforms for all voices, not some voices. I personally may disagree with every single thing you say but I want every American to have the right to speak their truth. It is a God-given unalienable right and no man, government, or technology company has the right to infringe upon our Constitutional Rights, granted to

Sundar Pichai CEO, Google

We The People. They are so irrefutable that our founding fathers signed it into our framework of governance, to protect us from them ever being taken from us or even infringed upon and this is a direct violation and it can not be taken lightly. Any person, organization, or political group that doesn’t want the rights of all Americans adhered to and defies the constitutional rule of law stands on the edge of a very slippery slope and should not be trusted. The Constitution clearly and plainly states: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” We The People are being attacked by these digital big tech cyber soldiers with their intrusive algorithms and keystrokes. This is a nonviolent call to action for all

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“Who the hell elected you (Jack Dorsey) and put you in charge of what the media are allowed to report and what the American people are allowed to hear”...“Facebook and Twitter and Google have massive power. They have a monopoly on public discourse in the online arena.” ~Senator, Ted Cruz

Americans to write our State Representative, Congressmen, and President and demand our rights and the rule of law be upheld. We The People are outraged that our basic rights are being infringed upon and demand you redress our grievances. Big tech has become too immense and intrusive. They have violated and abused their special protections granted to them by We The People through you, our elected officials and we demand they cease and desist immediately. That you in your official capacity are to rectify or repeal the law that has allowed them to trample on our Constitutional rights you have sworn you would uphold as my elected voice. For too long We The People have been idle and complacent we are now awake. We The People are fed up and standing up for our rights, we demand you do the same.

https://constitution.congress.gov/constitution/ amendment-1/ https://www.justice.gov/ag/department-justice-sreview-section-230communicationsdecency-act-1996 https://codes.findlaw.com/us/title-47telecommunications/47-usc-sect-230.html https://nypost.com/2020/10/16/by-censoring-thepost-big-tech-is-begging-for-big-time-reform/

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A Norman Christmas Story EDITORâ€™S NOTE: The following story is an account of a Nativity play presented Dec. 19, 1965, by children of the First Presbyterian Church in Norman. It originally appeared in The Norman Transcript on Dec. 20, 1965, and was first reprinted on Dec. 16, 1966. It has since been reprinted in newspapers all across the country. As publisher of Caregiver Magazine, it is my true honor and privilege to rekindle this local favorite for the Christmas loving citizens of Oklahoma. Thank you, Robbie Lamberson, for bringing this warm literary tradition to these pages and thank you to the Norman Transcript for keeping it alive for so many years. Robbie returns with On The Lighter Side next month. We here at Caregiver are wishing you all a very, Merry Christmas!

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A preschool version of the Christmas Story, complete with more than a few last minute improvisations, unfolded before a delighted audience at the First Presbyterian Church Sunday night. The pageant of the Nativity, presented by members of the Cherub and Chapel choirs, in general had proceeded well at dress rehearsal. Mary, Joseph, the shepherds, wise men and other 4 and 5-year-olds in the cast had run more or less smoothly through their assigned parts. The Chapel Choir and a narrator provided the background, and

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except for minor entanglements with flowing robes and headdresses, few problems were encountered. Then the Big Night arrived. The first hint of trouble came even before the formal action opened when one of the younger members of the Cherub Choir, a boy of about 2, took a fancy to the doll representing the infant Jesus lying in the manger. Clambering on stage he made a beeline for the crib and was diverted from his goal only by the action of an alert father. The innkeeper, exhibiting a lively proprietary interest in the stable, practiced leaping about the freshly strewn hay until the arrival of Mary and Joseph, whom he escorted proudly to seats beside the crib. The shepherds and white-robed angels arrived soon after. And it was then that the young Cherub, perhaps encouraged by his part as one of the children come to adore the Christ child, decided on another try for the object of his affections in the manger. He squeezed his way through the crowd, grabbed the doll and lifted it from the crib. Mary, reacting like any mother, made a lunge for the swaddling clothes, and a tug of war ensued above the manger.

Joseph, stunned for a moment, gallantly came to Mary’s aid with a swing at the intruder. And the innkeeper, proving not a bad sort after all, picked up a handful of hay and threw it at the would be abductor. The arrival of the harried father, towering some three feet above the rest of the cast, restored peace momentarily. But it was the hay, omitted during dress rehearsal, that caused the eventual downfall. Piled liberally about the tiled floor, it proved a lumpy and slippery footing. One of the shepherds, head bowed above the manger, suddenly went down. He scrambled up and immediately plopped down again. The third time he fell he grabbed the innkeeper; the innkeeper bumped an angel and half the cast toppled like a row of dominoes. But the hay proved a soft cushion — fun to dive into, in fact. Soon the shepherd and innkeeper were competing in swan dives into the straw. A wise man scuffled with an angel whose gilded wings had slipped considerably below their proper place. The Cherub, once more eluding his father, tried unsuccessfully to wrest a crook away from one of the shepherds. The narrator and choir, unfazed by the commotion, continued like troupers to the end; the cast was enticed offstage and peace once more returned to the somewhat disarranged stable. One spectator, his voice still trembling with laughter, was heard to remark as he left the church, “I’m glad I read the Book, ’cause they sure changed the plot!”

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Sage Advice

for Flu Season helpful to people with mild to moderate Alzheimer’s disease. Modern herbal practitioners typically recommend Sage for treating coughs, colds, and bronchitis, for easing sore throat pain and tonsillitis, calming indigestion, and relieving excessive sweating, including night sweats associated with menopause.”

By Michael Edward Browning The aromatic smell of sage in the kitchen always reminds me of my mother’s, then older sister’s continuation of grammy Buck’s sage stuffing tradition for Thanksgiving. Sure, whatever fit in the bird, then at least a pan or two, crusting on top, aching to be ladled with gravy. I think she even put ground sage in the gravy. Good timing for the increasing cold weather.

“Healthy brain aging and the problems of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease (AD) are a global concern. Beyond 60 years of age, most, if not everyone, will experience a decline in cognitive skills, memory capacity and changes in brain structure. Longevity eventually leads to an accumulation of amyloid plaques and/or tau tangles, including some vascular dementia damage. Therefore, lifestyle choices are paramount to leading either a brain-derived or a brain-deprived life.” ~ Helmut Hugel, Researcher An essential oil well documented for its anti microbial properties, “Recently the link between Sage, Salvia officianalis, and mental health has been getting some modern scientific support. Researchers have shown that the essential oil of common sage may improve mood and mental performance in young adults and boost memory and attention span in older adults. One small study showed that an extract of sage was

Noting that chemical compounds in sage work to reduce sweating of various causation, along with antiseptic, detoxifying properties, “to strengthen the kidneys and expel water from the system” along with, “helping reduce secretions such as sweat, watery eyes, and runny nose, and drying breast milk in mothers ready to wean their babies.” Suggests to me a general ‘dehydrator’ of sorts. If you’re feeling wet, try some sage tea. Whether you feel wet in the lungs or the head, sip some sage. Noting that sage means, “to save” in Latin, one reference calls it a panacea herb, purporting it useful for health purposes including: • Sleeping Aid • Sore Throat Gargles • Breath Cleansing • Breaking Fevers • Mildly Diuretic • Easing Sprains • Softening Rough Skin • Stopping Flow When Weaning • Cleansing the Smells of a Sickroom • Helps Heal (Diabetic) Leg Ulcers • General Antiseptic • Depression Lifter • Stomach Settler • Anti Flu Properties • Organ Detoxifier • Bug Bites & Stings

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SAGE is an important and economical medicine chest (or first aid kit) item to have in high incidence spider, scorpion and jellyfish areas. To calm these painful interactions quickly, chew and wet a wad of leaves with your saliva, then (com)press directly onto the bite or sting irritation. An excellent gargle to avoid a cold is made pretty simply by combining one cup of sage tea (recipe below) with two teaspoons honey, two tablespoons each of salt and apple cider vinegar with one tablespoon of cayenne pepper. That will fire up your metabolic rate! As for insect pests, many don’t particularly like the smell of sage. This may be a very practical varmint-ridding side benefit of the indigenous practice of sage (or cedar) smudging, a way of cleansing the spirit and the body when entering the lodge. Disinfect and deodorize for close quarters. Harkening back to our last spicy spotlight, combining leaves of dry grass, rosemary and sage along with crumbled candle wax makes an outdoor insect repellent that “old wives” claim will keep mosquitos away. Even just bundles of sage swags (tied, dried branches) can be hung around the house, porch, terraces or outdoor spaces to keep those spots bug free, naturally.

Sage Tea “Recipe” Variations on a simple sage tea are recommended for a huge number of afflictions; sore throat, flu, toxicity, upset tummy (cold tea), opening nasal passages, somber mood, hair growth, dental pain, bad breath, insomnia and a whole host of others. The fragrant adaptations on sage tea are enough for an article on that subject alone, suffice to say, it’s hard to mess it up. Freshly boiled water over fresh or dried sage leaves is all it takes. Additions include lemon, lemon rind, and for coughs or scratch in particular, try eucalyptus, thyme (if you’re a fan, stay tuned, surely we’ll get to thyme in due time), apple cider vinegar or bee balm. Honey, of course, always great for throats – but only if you’re over a year old!

PANDEMIC PERSPECTIVE ON ANNUAL FLU US Annual Flu Deaths have ranged between 12,000 to 68,000 over the past decade, averaging about 35,000. Good nutrition increases your body’s ability to fight it off.

Additional Sage Advice: Use sage sparingly for acute conditions over a short time period only. Some species contain a chemical, thujone, that can affect the nervous system leading to all kinds of nasty side effects. This makes large amounts or extended use of sage preparations inadvisable.

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26092628/ www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5622393/ www.cdc.gov/flu/about/burden/index.html Herbal Medicine: The Natural Way to Get Well and Stay Well, Buchman, Dian Dincin, pgs 108, 122, 124, 252-268 Gramercy Publishing Company, 1979 Complete Guide to Natural Home Remedies, National Geographic, pgs 115-117 National Geographic Society, 2012

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DISCRETION

annacian's

REMAINS

o r n e r

THE BETTER PART OF VALOR By Michael Edward Browning

cannacian - [ka-nish-uh n] noun

A phytocannabinoid caregiver having direct contact with - and responsibility for - medical patients; clinicians and counselors who are trained in the human endocannabinoid system and dispensing cannabis therapy.

“Since 2012, when Colorado and Washington became the first states to legalize recreational marijuana, there has been a slow trickle of states that have followed suit. Over that period, Americans’ support for marijuana legalization has risen 20 points to a record-high 68%. This measure

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has enjoyed majority support from the public since 2013. Additionally, Gallup data from earlier this year find that 70% of U.S. adults now consider smoking marijuana to be morally acceptable, marking a five-percentage-point uptick in one year.” One thing that isn’t in question after the recent election is the growing role of cannabis in American life. With more than two-thirds of the country having some medicinal program and nearly a third of the states approving of adult use, it’s safe to say we’ll all be seeing ever more personal consumption of cannabis therapy as the years of holidays stack up into the ‘20s. Last holiday season (Issue #7 at CAREGIVEROklahoma.com/digital-issues) we warned about potential over-consumption, this year we’ll caution about manners. Or, we’ll share some discretionary tactics to achieve your desired condition relief without drawing

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undue attention. A certain subtlety can prevent unwanted scenes with family, friends, co-residents - or senior living staffers if you live in a senior community. The decision to employ cannabis therapy is that of the patient alone. Others certainly influence the patient, but the choice of medication or treatment is theirs alone to make, if they are of sound mind. Where the patient lives is often of outsized influence on whether or not to treat a given condition with a cannabis application, especially the traditional and immediately effective inhalation of burning flowers.

Given the staggering array of product and delivery systems now available, detection of cannabis therapy is not a given. You can easily achieve pain relief, mood adjustment, flexibility and sound sleep with no one but you aware of your approach.

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If your problem is pain, there are creams, applicator sticks, salves and massage oils to apply topically. A more assertive, holistic approach with therapy layering may include an ingested oil (like Rick Simpson Oil), distillate, tincture or infused food product (“edibles”). If your pain is best relieved with a “preroll” toke or other smoking inhalation, for discretion’s sake, you might try substituting a vaping cartridge to mimic the lung expansion and exhalation sensations without the lingering smell of smoke. Many of the e-cig cartridges containing cannabinoids (THC, CBD, Delta-8, or full spectrum) are available in strain-specific terpene formulations that deliver a distinctive flower flavor. A light puff of water vapor infused cannabinoids can deliver that near-instant relaxation - and leave the air around you untainted by any lasting odor. Before this option was available – or when you just have to have the smoke, or flower is all you’ve got – exhaling through some kind of filtration is useful. Toilet paper held firmly over your lips, or stuffed into an empty roll to exhale through, will reveal just how much particulate emerges from the lungs. This out-breath filtering works much better than trying to cover the odors with additional fragrances.

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a slightly delayed edible activation [stomach and kidney processed] of it as well. They call the plant the “Electric Daisy” because of the tingling that gets in your mouth. When using the toothpicks, your lips and tongue will also tingle from the Jambu root.” Another option for bringing about a calm, even keel during holiday happenings are edibles with effects like tinctures and gummies, but which actively dissolve in the mouth - with delicious delight for the palate. There are tart lozenges, sweet chocolates and sour “pixie dust” powders (which can be stirred into drinks) that require no chewing, just hold them in place until they’re gone.

Always remember that edibles go through the digestive system, can take up to two hours One novel and discreet delivery system that Humphrey Bogart might be likely to champion is the humble wooden toothpick. In this case, isolated THC or CBD distillate, because of the way it’s packaged on the pick offers a lightly layered therapy in a single action. The Moon Picks brand sources an herb fostering salivary gland reactions from the Amazon rain forest that is used during dental procedures as a light anesthetic. The Dry Mouth version has been around for some time, as well as the CBD picks, family run Gaia’s Favor in OKC was the first in the state to offer THC infused toothpicks when dispensaries first opened here. Owner Shawn Carson describes, “They contain a plant extract called Jambu which activates the salivary glands and the mucous membranes in your mouth. The first portion of that is salivary, I have some patients who use them just for dry mouth relief and then if you use marijuana, they are great for cottonmouth or the dryness you can often get from eating edibles. The THC picks have activated distillate in them so once Jambu has opened your mucous membranes you’ll get a sub-lingual dose of THC through your salivary glands. You’ll get an edible portion as well when you swallow, so you’ll enjoy a two-layered effect; a sublingual application that comes on quicker than a normal edible and then 42

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to feel effect and can remain with you for most of the day. Exercise caution and know your limits. If you’ve yet to explore your limits, do so in the comfort of your own day. Don’t deploy any heroic measures to medicate when you’re surrounded with a crowd. Best of all, go visit a dispensary (or three) and educate yourself about the many discrete medicating options available. If you don’t get the time spent or satisfactory answers initially, try another shop. Dispensaries are as different as people. Keep at it until you find the answers and atmosphere that suits you. Finally, even though we’re discussing discretion and operating within polite society, remind yourself of your ‘resident expert’ status on the subject of you. Polite society is slowly, fully embracing the value of cannabis therapy for a myriad of health issues. It’s Issue 14

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now fairly risk-free to medicate all across the country. Try to drop the deceptive programs and liberate yourself from the propaganda of old. Since there’s decreasing likelihood of criminal prosecution, it makes no sense to be locked inside a jail of your own guilty conscience. Also, don’t be afraid to stick up for your decision. Don’t allow others to try and make you feel ashamed or bad about feeling better. Embrace feeling better, and if environmental detection is “contraindicated”, don’t get caught!

Cannacian’s Corner Citations: news.gallup.com/ poll/323582/support-legal-marijuana-inchesnew-high.aspx

F i nF di n tdh teh se e sr ev ir cv ei cs e ys o yuo nu eneede idn i O n kOl ak hl aohmoam aa t aCt aCr ae rgei vg ei vr eNreNaer aY roYuo. cu o. cmo m

43 43

Remember When We Said...

I Remember W hen we would go into the woods and chop down our Christmas tree , searching for the tree with th best shape. I re e member when w e got home with the tree m y dad would ha ve to wrestle it into the tree sta nd positioning th e inevitable bald spot to th e wal . 44

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I Remember When we would pop popcorn, taking a needle and thread and sewing strands of garland made of popcorn for the tree, eating and sewing and popping more corn. I remember placing copious amounts of tinsel on the tree by the time we were through decorating the tree you could hardly see anything else. Later Momma would remove enough tinsel to see the ornaments once again after we had gone to sleep. I remember enjoying just sitting and gazing at the tree after we got through decorating. My Mom would make homemade hot cocoa and Christmas cookies.

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en I Remember Wh tree putting on a e th te ra co de d l we wou ade at school m ts n e m a n or ct je mix of craft pro naments and old or ke sa p e ke ith w and church ered and some th a e w re e w t a th family heirlooms but filled with had lost their shine ies. sentimental memor

I Remember W hen we’d go to my Aunt Betty and Uncle Buddy’s for their annua l Christmas Eve party, al of the family would be there along wit h friends and neighbors. Every one would bring finger foods an hors d’oeuvres. d We’d play gam es and visit. Th my uncle would en dress as Santa a n d b ri n g in sacks of Christmas g ifts. It would be 2:00 in the morning be fore we would g et home. We were exha usted. 46

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I Remember

When going into town and seeing all the storef ronts decorated for Christmas was a family treat. Brightly colored Christmas l i ghts draped in tree s and large tinsel be l s hanging from the I remember watching light post. Christmas parades, seeing Santa and al coming down the stre l the floats et. I remember stoppi ng to see live nativit real animals. I remem y scenes with ber going to have ou r picture made with mall and getting a ca Santa at the ndy cane. I remembe r be i n g i n Ch ristmas pageants at church wrapped in sh eets looking more lik e gh os ts than angels with tinsel halos. The Wise Men dressed i n their Dadâ€™s bathro bes with fake beards mad e of cotton bal s.

I Remember our Christmas the next morning dressed in r Christmas stocking. ou y pt em d ul wo we as jam pa with other treats ng o al ge an or an s ay w al s First, there wa r gifts from Santa under ou en op d ul wo e W . us r fo waiting tree. Then we would have the heavily tinseled Christmas h my Grandparents and wit h nc u l as tm ris Ch al ion dit our tra of our family. relatives from my Dadâ€™s side st of times. Looking back, It was the be

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