In Memoriam December 2020

Published in The Berkshire Eagle, Thursday, December 24, 2020

Welcome to

In Memoriam

Obituary & Remembrance Tribute Feature

During a family’s time of sorrow, we want to reflect on the lives of those who have recently passed.

As Berkshire County’s newspaper of record, we help families share obituaries in the local community as well as with family and friends who live outside the area.

The Berkshire Eagle offers this special quarterly feature to commemorate and honor the loved ones we have lost.

Coping with the loss of a loved one in a time of social distancing

Coping with the loss of a loved one can be challenging in the best of times, but many people have had to confront such challenges at a time that is unlike any other in modern history.

By the start of the second full week of May 2020, the World Health Organization reported that roughly 279,000 people across the globe had died from the novel coronavirus COVID-19. Many of the 215 countries, areas or territories that reported cases of COVID-19 implemented social distancing measures in an effort to reduce the spread of the virus. While such efforts no doubt saved lives, they also left many people without traditional means of grieving their deceased loved ones. For example, in March the Church of England limited the number of people who could attend funerals to immediate family members only, while restrictions on gatherings in the United States

made it difficult if not impossible for more than 10 people to grieve together in person.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention notes that grief is a normal response to losing a loved one. In addition, the American Psychological Association says that research has shown that social support can help people recover from such losses.

Though traditional funerals and family gatherings may not be possible as the world responds to the COVID-19 outbreak, those who have lost loved ones can embrace various strategies to cope with their loss even while stay-athome orders remain in place. • Host calls with family members and friends. The

videotelephone and chat service Zoom has helped millions of people stay connected with loved ones while social distancing. Schools and universities even employed the service when in-person classroom sessions were canceled to stop the spread of the virus. The CDC recommends grieving families employ such technology to connect with each other in the wake of a loved one’s death.

• Share stories.

Grieving family members are urged to share stories and pictures much like they would during wakes and funerals. Share them during group conference calls and/or via social media, emails or other modern modes of communications. Connecting in such ways can ensure no one is forced to grieve alone.

• Seek support from your community. The CDC recommends seeking support from faithbased organizations or other trusted community

leaders and friends. While in-person church services may not be available, many local religious leaders have made themselves available to congregants and even non-congregants who may need help grieving. Local community organizations may have grief counselors available to help people cope with loss.

• Take part in an activity that meant something to you and your deceased loved one. The CDC notes that doing something in memory of a loved one can help people cope. For example, plant flowers in honor of a deceased parent with whom you shared a love of gardening.

Confronting the loss of a loved one during the COVID-19 outbreak can be challenging. But families can still overcome this challenge even if they cannot gather together in person.

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Tips for writing an obituary

Coping with the death of a loved one is never easy. Even those comforted by the acknowledgment that a recently deceased friend or family member lived a full life may still struggle with the sense of loss that comes with the passing of a loved one.

Upon the passing of a loved one, an individual is often tasked with writing an obituary. Some people may find writing an obituary is cathartic, providing an opportunity to tell a loved one’s life story and indicate how unique the deceased was. Because writing an obituary is not something people are asked to do every day, it’s understandable if many men and women don’t know where to begin. Obituaries do not necessarily have to follow a formula, but the following tips can help people compose an obituary that conveys who their deceased loved one was and how much this person meant to friends and family.

• Contact your local newspaper. Some

newspapers may have obituary guidelines that govern things like writing style and obituary length. Before writing an obituary, contact your local newspaper to determine if they have any such rules in place. Some newspapers may only publish obituaries written by their own staff members.

• Do not feel obliged to include cause of death. While acquaintances who first learn of a person’s death via an obituary may be curious about cause of death, loved ones of the deceased do not have to include such information if they are uncomfortable doing so. Many obituaries never include such information, so readers likely won’t expect it. Those who are comfortable including such information in the obituary may find it helps them avoid having to answer numerous inquiries about the loved one’s demise at the ensuing visitation and funeral services.

•Include some biographical information. Obituaries are typically more than simple announcements of death. Some simple biological information can shed light on who the deceased was and his or her personal and professional accomplishments. Avoid getting too detailed, as newspapers may not accept obituaries that are very lengthy. But biographical information like full name, place of birth, family (i.e., spouse, children, grandchildren, etc.), military service, place of employ-

ment, charity work, and hobbies can give readers an accurate idea of the life your loved one lived.

• Include donation information. Well-wishers who read the obituary may want to send flowers or make donations to express their condolences. Include the family preference regarding flowers or donations in the obituary. When requesting donations be made to the deceased’s favorite charity, include the charity’s full name and contact information or

a website in the obituary.

• Include visitation and funeral information. Be sure to include the day, location and visitation hours for viewings. If the funeral will be public, include the day and time of the funeral as well.

• Have the obituary ready one to two days before the services are scheduled. Publishing the obituary a couple of days in advance of visitation hours gives loved ones of the deceased time to arrange to visit and pay their respects.

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