Ashford and St. Peter’s Hospitals
What happens now?
Information for bereaved relatives
‘Memories are the loveliest thing, They last from day to day, They can’t get lost, They don’t wear out, And can’t be given away.’
(Anonymous)
We can provide interpreters for a variety of languages, information in larger print or other formats (e.g. audio) –please call us on 01932 723553
You can use Text Relay to turn telephone communications into text. Use the Relay UK app on your phone, tablet or PC. You can also use Relay UK via Minicom or Uniphone.
You
are not alone
We are extremely sorry for your loss and appreciate this is an incredibly difficult time for you and your loved ones. The death of a loved one can be a very distressing time, and there is no set or right way to grieve someone close to you. It is quite usual to recognise a number of different emotions, including anger, relief or feeling numb and lethargic. There is no timeline to grieving, and it is a very personal journey that we make.
Inevitably, there are certain practical issues that need to be organised when someone dies. The information in this booklet is designed to give you details about the next steps, answer some of your questions and signpost you to the extra help and support that is available to you.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact the Bereavement Office. Alternatively, you can speak to your funeral director for advice.
Supporting your loved one’s wishes
It is important that if someone has expressed specific wishes prior to death that we do all we can to fulfil them.
If you have discussed this with the ward team they will advise, however please do not hesitate to contact them or the Bereavement Office with any further questions.
Organ and tissue donation
Some people express a desire to donate organs for transplantation or tissue donation after death. Organ and tissue donation can save or dramatically improve someone’s life.
All adults in England will be considered an organ donor when they die unless they have recorded a decision not to donate or are in one of the excluded groups. This is commonly referred to as an ‘opt out’ system’.
If the clinical team believe your loved one may be a suitable organ or tissue donor they will discuss this with you.
It may be possible to donate tissue up to 24 hours after the death occurred, with eye tissue, skin, bone, tendon and cartilage, and heart valves sometimes able to be used to help others.
If you would like to discuss this please inform a doctor or nurse as soon as possible. You call also call the 24 hour tissue service on 0800 432 0559 (freephone) for more information.
If you have already arranged an organ or tissue donation, thank you. The Trust actively supports organ and tissue donation to respect the wishes of those who want to donate and to improve the quality of life of many people who rely on the generosity of donors and their families.
More information regarding organ donation can be found at www.organdonation.nhs.uk
Practical first steps, when death has occurred
After your loved one has died please contact the Bereavement Office at St Peter’s Hospital to discuss the next steps.
Bereavement Office: 01932 722319
Opening Hours: 8am – 4pm Monday – Friday (closed weekends and bank holidays)
Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) and Medical Examiner Scrutiny
A doctor will complete an MCCD to confirm the death and state the cause of death. This will be independently reviewed by the Medical Examiner’s team who will contact you directly once this is complete. This usually takes 2-3 working days but can take longer.
The Medical Examiner’s Office
The Medical Examiner service is a national scheme established in every acute hospital. The Medical Examiner is a senior doctor who is not involved in the care of the patient, but who understands the circumstances surrounding the cause of death.
Their role is to;
• Review and agree the proposed cause of death and the accuracy of the MCCD
• Discuss the cause of death with the next of kin and establish if they have any questions or concerns with care before death
• Act as a medical advice resource for the local Coroner
• Support the identification of cases for a learning review by the Trust
Deaths reported to HM Coroner
In some circumstances the doctor certifying the death of your loved one has a responsibility to seek the advice of HM Coroner before an MCCD can be issued. This includes:
• When the cause of death of your loved one is unknown or not clear
• When the death is sudden or unexpected
• When your loved one was involved in an accident or suicide is suspected
• When your loved one died during or following surgery
• If your loved one had a fall or a fracture
• If the death involved an industrial disease.
If a death had been referred to HM Coroner, the Medical Examiner’s Office will contact the next of kin to explain the reasons for the referral and what you can expect next.
After reviewing the case HM Coroner will either authorise the MCCD or investigate further. If an MCCD can be issued, the Medical Examiner’s Office will contact you once this is complete.
HM Coroner may request a post-mortem as part of their investigations into the cause of death for cases referred to them. Depending on the outcome of this HM Coroner may wish to progress to an Inquest.
The Coroner’s Office for Surrey can be contacted on 01483 404530 and can provide you with more information on this process, and when you will be able to register your loved one’s death and arrange their funeral.
Registering the death
Once the MCCD has been issued this will be sent electronically by the Medical Examiner’s Office to the Surrey Registration Service. You will then need to make an appointment to register the death.
Appointments can be booked via the Surrey County Council website www.surreycc.gov.uk or by calling the Surrey Registration Service on 0300 200 1002. The Service has offices across Surrey and you can pick the one most convenient for you when booking.
After registering the death, the Registrar will give you a green form to give to your chosen funeral director. This authorises them to take the deceased into their care at the funeral home.
You will also receive copies of the death certificate, which you will have to pay for.
‘Tell Us Once’ service
The ‘Tell us Once’ service brings together several local and national organisations, so people do not need to notify them individually of the death.
To use the ‘Tell Us Once’ service the death must have been registered. The Registrar will then provide you with a reference number for the service.
You can find further information at www.gov.uk/tell-us-once
They do not inform the following organisations:
• Royal Mail
• Utilities companies
• TV licensing
• Bank / Building Society
• Library cards / Season tickets
• Insurance companies
• Rental companies.
Stopping junk mail to the recently deceased
If someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced which helps to stop painful daily reminders.
By registering with the free service www.stopmail.co.uk the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks. If you cannot access the internet you can call 0333 006 8114, where you will be asked for very simple information that will take only a few minutes to complete. Alternatively, ask the bereavement team for a leaflet that can be returned in the post.
This free of charge service provided by the Bereavement Support Network will actively reduce the unwanted marketing mail but also can help reduce the likelihood of identity theft following the death of someone close. The information is not used for any other purpose and you only have to complete this once. Additionally to Stop Mail a comparable service can also be accessed from the Bereavement Register or Deceased Preference Service if you would prefer to use them.
Personal belongings
The ward team will ensure that your loved one’s personal belongings are collected and taken to the Bereavement Office, where you can arrange to collect them.
Please call the Bereavement Office on 01932 722319 to book an appointment to collect belongings.
The Bereavement Office is located on the Ground Floor of the Brooklands Building – shown on the map on the following page with a black triangle ▲
Please return NHS equipment to the loan store or company it was issued from.
Medications can be returned to any local pharmacy.
Visiting a loved one after they have died
Your funeral director will be able to arrange for you to visit your loved one in their Chapel of Rest, or at a place of your choosing.
We sincerely believe that an arrangement made with your funeral director is the most appropriate place for you to pay your last respects to your loved one after they have left the hospital ward.
The Trust only has limited facilities within the hospital for viewing loved ones after they have left the hospital ward. In exceptional circumstances, for example religious or cultural reasons, the Bereavement Office will arrange for you to view a loved one.
It is not possible to view a loved one without an appointment. Please first call the Bereavement Office on 01932 722319 to discuss your request.
If the death of your loved one has been referred to HM Coroner, arrangements for viewings must be made through the Coroner’s Office.
Funeral arrangements
Most people appoint a funeral director to make the arrangements for the funeral; you may want to take some time with this decision to compare costs and services provided. You do not have to wait until the MCCD has been issued; however, we recommend that you do not confirm a date for a funeral service until the MCCD has been issued and you have registered the death.
It is always worth contacting more than one funeral director and not rushing into a decision. Funerals can be expensive and while the basic costs can look similar, final costs can vary greatly. Your funeral director will be able to put you in touch with a priest, church minister, faith leader or celebrant of your choice.
Details of local funeral directors are available at the end of this booklet. Alternatively you may wish to look at the website for the National Association of Funeral Directors www.nafd.org.uk and the Society of Independent Funeral Directors www.saif.org.uk
You may wish to hold a humanist funeral or memorial service. Humanist funerals, like all others, can be held in a variety of places, although in practice most are held in crematoria, cemeteries and woodland burial sites. You may wish to look at www.humanism.org.uk or the Institute of Civil Funerals www.iocf.org.uk
Alternatively, you may wish to organise the funeral yourself. If you want to do this, The Natural Death Centre www.naturaldeath.org.uk provide information on how to do this. Your local cemetery or crematorium can also offer help and guidance:
Woking Crematoriumwww.thelondoncremation.co.uk/woking-crematorium/ 01483 472197
Hanworth Crematoriumwww.swmcrematorium.gov.uk – 0208 894 9001
Randalls Park Crematorium (Leatherhead) – 01372 363181
Help with funeral costs
If you are on a low income and need help to pay for a funeral, support is available from HM Government. Please visit www.gov.uk/ funeral-payments. You can also ask your funeral director for advice.
Learning from Deaths and LeDeR
As part of our processes for improving the care we provide, the Trust carries out case reviews on a sample of patients who died at the hospital. This review is undertaken by a senior clinician, who was not directly involved in the patient’s care and who reviews the patient’s medical notes for their final admission.
In most cases patients have received good or very good care, however occasionally we find lapses when the care provided fell below the expected standard. When this occurs, we have a Duty of Candour to you, the next of kin, to be open and honest. We will let you know what we find and how we intend to learn from this. If you would like more information about this process, please contact the bereavement office.
People with a learning disability or autism are often vulnerable and face challenges in accessing the healthcare that they need. The learning from deaths – people with a learning disability and autistic people (LeDeR) is a national programme aiming to improve the health of people with a learning disability or autism and reduce health inequalities. Every person with a learning disability or autism whose death is notified to LeDeR has an initial review of the health and social care they received prior to their death. More focused reviews may be completed when there is a need. LeDeR reviews in Surrey are managed by Surrey Heartlands Health and Care Partnership. More information on these reviews can be found at www.surreyheartlands.org/leder-programme
Support for you
The death of a loved one can be a very distressing time, and there is no set or right way to grieve for someone close to you. It is quite usual to recognise several differing emotions. There is no timeline to grieving and it is a very personal journey that we make. There are several agencies and support organisations who are ready to help you.
Our pastoral and spiritual care team is on hand to help, comfort and advise you throughout this demanding and draining time. They can be contacted on 01932 723324 Monday to Friday 9-5pm. Outside of these hours, please call the main switchboard on 01932 872000 and ask for the Duty Chaplain to be paged.
The Good Grief Trust offers a range of both local and national information and support groups that you may find useful. www.thegoodgrieftrust.org
The Brigitte Trust is a local charity which offers support to bereaved families. www.brigittetrust.org
Other organisations that can offer you further support are listed on page 17.
Bereavement
A place to talk with people who understand
The Bereavement Café is a service where families and friends who have lost a loved one can meet up once a week to chat over coffee. We offer guidance and support and the opportunity to meet others in a similar situation.
Come along and join us for coffee and a chat, we are here waiting to meet you.
St. Peter’s Hospital Map
Talking to children about death
Adults often feel the need to protect children from death. They may feel children will not understand or that they will be too upset. However, we often underestimate a child’s understanding and ability to cope. Children often find it harder if they are not told what is happening and they may be more frightened by imagined events. They should be told the facts in a simple manner, using appropriate words e.g. ‘dead’ or ‘died’ rather than ‘lost’ or ‘asleep’.
It is helpful for adults to share feelings with children, such as feelings of sadness. By doing this, children learn that it is natural to feel sad when someone dies.
Child Bereavement UK is a charity that provides help and guidance to support bereaved children and young people, and can be contacted on 0800 028 8840. www.childbereavementuk.org
Jigsaw South East is a local charity that support bereaved children and young people, and can be contacted on 01342 313 895. www.jigsawsoutheast.org.uk
Reference: St Peter’s Hospital Bereavement Book
Review Date: April 2028
Publication Date: April 2026
Advice and support – some options for you
At A Loss
Bereavement Support Network
Brake
Brigitte Trust
Offers a range of both local and national information and support groups www.ataloss.org
Advice regarding funerals, probate, tax benefits and preventing junk mail to the deceased
A road safety charity who support those affected by road traffic accidents
www.bereavementsupport.co.uk 0333 240 0360
www.brake.org.uk 0808 800 0401
A Surrey based charity supporting bereaved adults www.brigittetrust.org
Care for the Family Support for those widowed at a young age, parents who have lost a child and young adults who have lost a sibling
www.careforthefamily.org.uk 029 2081 0800
Child Bereavement UK Support for bereaved children, parents and grandparents www.childbereavementuk.org 0800 028 8840
Cruse Bereavement Support Bereavement support for adults www.cruse.org.uk 0808 808 1677
Good Grief Trust
Hope Again
Offers a range of both local and national information and support groups www.thegoodgrieftrust.org
Support for young people www.hopeagain.org.uk
Jigsaw South East A Surrey based charity supporting bereaved children and young people
Samaritans
Confidential emotional support (available 24 hours)
www.jigsawsoutheast.org.uk 01342 313 895
www.samaritans.org 116 123 (freephone, 24/7)
SOBS Support for those bereaved through suicide www.uksobs.org 0300 111 5065
The Compassionate Friends Support for parents, siblings and grandparents after the death of a child at any age
www.tcf.org.uk 0345 123 2304
Winston’s Wish Support for bereaved children and young people www.winstonswish.org
The Hospital would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.
Whilst the Hospital is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.
Please note, whilst information is correct at the time of publication, this may be subject to future change.
STOPPING JUNK MAIL
Do you need help with Probate?
You may need help, support or advice on what to do when someone dies in relation to probate. It may not always appear obvious if it will be required.
We offer free guidance on the legal and financial aspects of bereavement including your responsibilities and whether probate is required.
You may need to establish whether a property is held in joint names or tenants in common, we can perform a simple check at no cost to establish the title deeds.
Probate Solutions for cars
The death of a family member can be a very difficult and traumatic experience and if you are trying to sell a vehicle that belonged to a deceased family member or friend you currently have limited options.
Auto Matters makes things very simple without you having to leave your home.
The vehicle’s current MOT may have expired or you do not have any insurance for the vehicle so you are unable to drive the vehicle to a garage. You may also have trouble selling the vehicle as the registration document (V5) is still in the deceased person’s name. You may not wish to have private purchasers at your premises at this time. The vehicle may not start/drive or the vehicle could be a long way from your current location.
Our free service helps to overcome all of these problems. We will provide payment to yourself, an executor or a solicitor before we move the vehicle.
No Log Book (V5)? No Problem
This publication has been jointly developed between ourselves and the hospital. We hope that it has been or will be of help at this time and we welcome any comments or suggestions that you may have.
Please contact us either by phone, email or by post.
