NHS University Hospitals of North Midlands NHS Trust
R O YA L S T O K E U N I V E RS ITY H O S PITA L
Helping you cope with Bereavement
Following the death of your loved one,
Opening hours are 9am to 4pm,
please telephone the Bereavement
Monday to Friday (Closed weekends
Centre at the hospital after 9am the
and Bank Holidays).
next working day. You can contact the Bereavement Centre on telephone 01782 676323
On behalf of all of the staff involved in caring for your loved one whilst they were in hospital, we wish to express our sincere condolences to you at this extremely difficult time. When someone dies there are many things to do which you may not be familiar with, often at a time of great personal distress. This booklet provides information and advice to guide you through the practical issues you or your family may have to deal with at this time, such as how to register a death and arrange a funeral. The death of a loved one and the subsequent grief is a very individual experience, which each person responds to in their own way. This booklet outlines some of the emotions or feelings that you may encounter. There are also many specialist organisations listed in this booklet that you may find useful. Bereavement Centre 01782 676323 Monday to Friday, 9am until 4pm
Contents What do I need to do first?............................................................1 Medical Examiner Service...............................................................2 If the Coroner is involved...............................................................3 Coroner’s post mortem examination..............................................4 Hospital post mortem examination.................................................4 Eye and tissue donation.................................................................5 Organ donation.............................................................................6 Registering the death.....................................................................7 Spending time with your loved one after death..............................9 Organising the funeral.................................................................10 Help with funeral expenses..........................................................11 Other organisations to inform......................................................12 Stopping Junk Mail to the recently deceased................................14 Coping with grief.........................................................................15 Organisations that can help.........................................................16 Grief in children...........................................................................19 Support for bereaved children......................................................19 Donating a body for medical education, training or research........21 Providing feedback about our service...........................................21 Memorial donations.....................................................................22 Useful contact details...................................................................23
What do I need to do first? Following the death of your loved one, please telephone the Bereavement Centre after 9am the next working day. A member of the team will talk you through what to expect in the coming days. You can contact the Bereavement Centre by:• •
Telephone: 01782 676323 Email: bereavement.uhns@nhs.net
You will be asked the following questions about your loved one:• • • • •
Their main occupation, and whether there was an industrial background / industrial injuries benefit or pension Did they smoke? Will the funeral be a burial or cremation? Have you decided on a Funeral Director? Do you have any concerns about the circumstances or cause of death?
We will arrange for one of the doctors involved in caring for your loved one to complete the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (medical certificate) as soon as possible. Whilst the hospital will make every effort to provide the medical certificate as quickly as possible, this can sometimes take a number of days. Once the medical certificate has been completed, we email a copy to the Stoke-on-Trent Registration Service. You do not need to collect the paper copy from the hospital. We will call you to let you know when the paperwork has been completed, and advise you on how to make an appointment to register the death.
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Medical Examiner Service Medical Examiners are experienced, senior doctors, who review the care that your loved one received whilst they were being treated in hospital. They are trained in the legal and clinical elements of the death certification process. They are contracted to carry out this duty independent of their usual clinical role. The aim of the service is to:• •
•
Agree the cause of death and the overall accuracy of the medical certificate with the attending doctor Discuss the cause of death with the next of kin/bereaved relatives, to establish if there are any questions or concerns about the death Identify any issues with care or treatment requiring further review under the hospital’s mortality review/Learning from Deaths programme
The Medical Examiner team will listen to any concerns, and if possible, provide answers to questions from the bereaved. Medical Examiners can detect and highlight potential issues with care or treatment, but they cannot investigate. Deaths that require investigation would be referred to the Coroner. A member of our Bereavement Centre team will provide more information about the service, and answer any questions that you may have. The Medical Examiner’s review will not cause a significant delay to the doctor issuing the medical certificate.
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If the Coroner is involved In some circumstances, it may be necessary to refer your loved one’s death to His Majesty’s Coroner. There are very strict legal requirements about which deaths should be referred to the Coroner, which cannot be disputed. Referral to the Coroner doesn’t need to be a cause for concern, although you should be aware that a referral to the Coroner will delay the process of issuing the medical certificate. Your loved one will remain in the care of the hospital mortuary team until the Coroner has made a decision. After reviewing the circumstances of death, the Coroner will decide on one of the following options:1. 2. 3.
The death is due to natural causes and the doctor can issue a medical certificate A post mortem examination is required to establish the cause of death The doctor can give a cause of death, but the circumstances of death were unnatural. An inquest without post mortem will be held
The Bereavement Centre team will call you to explain the Coroner’s decision. If necessary, your contact details will be provided to a Coroner’s Officer who will contact you at the earliest opportunity to discuss the process and take details from you, to assist with the Coroner’s investigation.
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Coroner’s post mortem examination In cases where the cause of death is not known, the Coroner will order a post mortem examination to try to establish the cause of death. The Coroner is not legally required to obtain your consent to a post mortem, but you will be kept fully informed of the progress by a Coroner’s Officer. The Coroner’s Officer will give you the opportunity to ask questions or to discuss any concerns that you may have. Where possible, the Coroner will take into account your religious and cultural requirements, whilst acting in accordance with the law when ordering a post mortem examination and the type of examination to be performed. Once the post mortem has been concluded, the Coroner will release the deceased to your chosen Funeral Director to allow the funeral arrangements to go ahead. The findings from the post mortem will be explained to you by the Coroner’s Officer.
Hospital post mortem examination Although the cause of death may be known, the Consultant responsible for your loved one’s care may request a ‘hospital post mortem’, as they can sometimes be of great value to understanding a particular type of disease or illness. It is important to be aware, that even the most detailed post mortem examination will sometimes leave questions unanswered. Unlike a Coroner’s post mortem, a hospital post mortem can only be carried out with your consent, once the death has been registered.
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Eye and Tissue Donation Transplants are one of the most miraculous achievements of modern medicine, but they depend entirely on the generosity of donors and their families who are willing to make this life-saving gift to others. Tissue such as skin, bone, tendons, heart valves and corneas can be donated after death. This type of donation helps to repair or rebuild the lives of thousands of people affected by disease, injury or birth defects. One multi-tissue donor may be able to help enhance the lives of up to 50 people. We have a team of Specialist Nurses for Eye and Tissue Donation based within the Bereavement Centre. If our team identify your loved one as a potential donor within 24 hours of their death, you may be contacted to discuss this further. You may wish to call the National Referral Centre to express your wish to donate directly. To do this, please call 0800 432 0559 and leave a voicemail message. Every day between the hours of 8am and 8pm, a nurse will be available to respond to your message and offer advice.
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Organ Donation Organs that can be donated include the heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, pancreas and small bowel. One donor can give life to several people. The more people who pledge to donate, the more people stand to benefit. Some people are not sure whether their religion would prevent them from agreeing to donate their organs after death – yet all the major religions in the UK support the principles of organ donation and transplantation. However, within each religion there are different schools of thought; which means that views may differ. All the major religions accept that organ donation is a very personal and individual choice. For more information and to register your decision to opt in or opt out of the National Organ Donor Register, please visit www. organdonation.nhs.uk
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Registering the death A death must legally be registered in order for the funeral to take place, either by a relative or someone present at the death. We will explain how to book an appointment with the Registrar. If the Coroner is involved, it may be necessary to wait for the Coroner to issue documents to the Registrar before an appointment can be made. Stoke-on-Trent Registration Service • •
Telephone: 01782 235260 Calls are answered Monday to Friday, 9am until 4pm
Please do not contact the Registration Service without having spoken with the Bereavement Centre to confirm that the medical certificate is complete and has been emailed to the Registrar. A death should be registered in the district where the death occurred. Royal Stoke University Hospital is in the district of Stokeon-Trent. If you choose to see a Registrar outside of Stoke-on-Trent, they will record the details on a ‘Form of Declaration’ and send it to Stokeon-Trent Register Office. You should then wait 3 working days from the date of declaration before contacting Stoke-on-Trent Register Office for a certificate to be issued and posted to you. This may cause a delay in organising the funeral. It is your responsibility to give accurate information to the Registrar. You will be charged up to £99 to correct details found to be inaccurate after the registration.
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The following documents are not compulsory, but may help you to provide accurate information to the Registrar. If you don’t have these documents, you should still come to the appointment as the registration can go ahead without them:• • • • • • • •
The deceased’s birth certificate The deceased’s passport Proof of address (such as a utility bill) for the deceased All marriage or civil partnership certificates Change of name documents Your own passport Your own driving licence Proof of your own address (such as a utility bill)
The Registrar will ask you to confirm:• • • • • • • •
Full name of the deceased Maiden surname if the deceased had married Date and place of birth of the deceased Date and place of death The deceased’s occupation Name and occupation of the deceased’s spouse/civil partner, if they were married/in a civil partnership or widowed The deceased’s usual address Whether the deceased was receiving any pension from public funds
The Registrar will issue:• • •
A certificate for burial or cremation (known as the Green Form) which allows the funeral to take place A certificate of registration of death. This is for the Department for Work and Pensions A certified copy of the death certificate for a fee of £12.50 each. You can purchase multiple copies if required 8
Spending time with your loved one after death If you are unable to attend or do not wish to attend the hospital when you are informed of your loved one’s death, you can arrange to spend time with them at the Funeral Directors, or you may be able to arrange an appointment to visit the hospital mortuary viewing room. You will need to enquire about appointment availability with the hospital mortuary team:• •
Telephone: 01782 672085 Calls are answered Monday to Friday, 9am until 3.30pm
We recognise that for some people, faith and culture are very important, and we will do our best to support you and your family in upholding your beliefs and traditions. Whilst we aim to offer the most compassionate service possible to families who wish to spend time in our mortuary viewing room with a loved one, we do suggest that you wait to see your loved one once they have been transferred to your chosen Funeral Director, as they are better equipped and can offer the best possible experience for you and your family.
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Organising the funeral It is important that you take time to think about what is right for you, your family and friends, and you should check if your loved one left a Will or a pre-arranged funeral plan to help guide you through the funeral arrangements. Funeral Directors can advise you about arrangements that will allow you to remember your loved one in a way that is special and meaningful to you. The Funeral Director can also help in beginning to come to terms with the death of your loved one. You may feel more confident choosing a Funeral Director that is a member of the following organisations:• • • •
National Association of Funeral Directors: www.nafd.org.uk National Federation of Funeral Directors: www.nffd.org.uk National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF): www.saif.org.uk The Natural Death Centre: www.naturaldeath.org.uk
The Funeral Director will need the “Green Form” from the Registrar in order to transfer your loved one into their care from our hospital mortuary. However you can contact and start making provisional arrangements with a Funeral Director as soon as you feel ready to do so. If your loved one has a hazardous implantable device, such as a pacemaker, this will be removed by the Funeral Director prior to the cremation taking place.
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Help with funeral expenses from the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) Social Fund If the next of kin or person responsible for arranging the funeral is receiving any of the following benefits or tax credits listed, they may be eligible to receive help from the DWP Social Fund to help fund the funeral costs:• • • • • •
• •
Income Support Income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance Income-related Employment and Support Allowance Pension Credits Housing Benefit Council Tax Benefit (or the Council Tax payer where you live gets a Second Adult Rebate because you are on a low income) Working Tax Credit which includes a disability or severe disability element Child Tax Credit at a rate higher than the family element
Some or all of the payment from the Social Fund may have to be re-paid from the estate of the person who has died. To apply for assistance from the DWP Social Fund, the next of kin or person responsible for arranging the funeral will need to complete application form SF200. This can be downloaded from the website www.direct.gov.uk, search ‘SF200’, or by contacting the Jobcentre Plus on telephone number: 0800 169 0140.
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Other organisations to inform Government departments will be informed about the death via the Tell Us Once service (which will be explained to you when you register the death), and the Bereavement Centre will inform your loved one’s GP. However there will be other organisations that you may need to notify, such as:
Tick Box
Bank, Building society, Credit card companies, Accountant Insurance companies - home / life / vehicle / appliances etc. Solicitor or Executor Employer, Trade Union, School, College, Universities Housing - landlord / council / housing association / mortgage provider etc. Utility bill companies - TV licence / gas / electric / water / telephone / broadband provider etc. Hire purchase / loan companies Royal Mail (if mail needs re-directing or terminating) Clubs / associations Subscriptions - newspaper / milkman etc. Cancel any appointments Continued on Page 13...
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Items that may need returning include: Pension / Benefits book - Social Security Office Driving Licence - DVLA Swansea, SA99 1AB Telephone: 0300 083 0090 www.gov.uk/tell-dvla-about-bereavement DVLA Registration Documents - to change ownership Passport NHS equipment on loan Library card / Season tickets Blue Badge (disability parking permit)
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Tick Box
Stopping Junk Mail to the recently deceased If someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced which helps to stop painful daily reminders. By registering with the free service www.stopmail.co.uk the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks. If you cannot access the internet you can call 0333 006 8114, where you will be asked for very simple information that will take only a few minutes to complete. Alternatively, ask the bereavement team for a leaflet that can be returned in the post. This free of charge service provided by the Bereavement Support Network will actively reduce the unwanted marketing mail but also can help reduce the likelihood of identity theft following the death of someone close. The information is not used for any other purpose and you only have to complete this once. Additionally to Stop Mail a comparable service can also be accessed from the Bereavement Register or Deceased Preference Service if you would prefer to use them.
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Coping with grief The loss of a loved one is one of the most difficult and painful experiences you will face in life. It is not unusual for people who are grieving to experience powerful emotions, or to feel disorientated by the bereavement they have suffered and the subsequent grief which they experience. Grieving is a natural process that can take place after any kind of loss. The grief after a loved one dies can be a very overpowering emotion that has to run its course. There is a whole succession of different feelings that can take some time to go through and must not be hurried. Although people are all different, the order in which they go through these feelings is very similar. For some hours or days following the death of someone who is close, most people feel totally stunned. A feeling of disbelief is common, even if the death has been expected, (say after a long period of illness). However, this feeling of emotional numbness can actually help in dealing with the various practical arrangements that have to be made. If the detachment from reality goes on for too long though, it can become a problem. After the feeling of emotional numbness has gone, it is often replaced by a sense of agitation and a yearning for the person who has died. This can affect the bereaved in their everyday life, and it may be difficult to relax, concentrate or even sleep properly. People often find the help of family and friends to be sufficient following the death of a loved one; however, some people find it helpful to talk to someone outside the family about how they are feeling. Your GP may be able to help, and there are various organisations that can advise and support the needs of people who are bereaved.
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Organisations that can help Age UK Offers support for older people; particularly significant life change and distress. Tel: 0800 169 6565 Email: info@ageukstaffordshire.org.uk Web: www.ageuk.org.uk The Compassionate Friends Provides support and friendship for bereaved parents and families. Tel: 0345 123 2304 Email: helpline@tcf.org.uk Web: www.tcf.org.uk Cruse Bereavement Care Trained volunteers offer emotional and practical support through 180 branches nationwide. Tel: 0808 808 1677 Email: helpline@cruse.org.uk Web: www.cruse.org.uk The Dove Service Support and counselling for those affected by illness or bereavement, locally in Stoke-on-Trent. Tel: 01782 683155 Email: enquiries@thedoveservice.org.uk Web: www.thedoveservice.org.uk The Lullaby Trust Supports the families of a baby who has died suddenly and unexpectedly, with a 24 hour helpline, a network of befrienders countrywide, meetings, advice and leaflets available. Tel: 0808 802 6868 Email: support@lullabytrust.org.uk Web: www.lullabytrust.org.uk 16
Macmillan Cancer Support Offers emotional support and information to people with cancer, their families, friends and professionals working with them. Tel: 0808 808 0000 Email: contact@macmillan.org.uk Web: www.macmillan.org.uk The Probate Helpline Government department offering advice on Probate and Inheritance Tax matters. Tel: 0300 123 1072 Web: www.gov.uk The Samaritans Someone you can talk to who will give you support. There are over 180 branches which are open 24 hours a day. Tel: 116 123 Email: jo@samaritans.org Web: www.samaritans.org Switchboard LGBT+ helpline Dedicated support for those from the LGBT+ community, their family and friends. Tel: 0800 0119 100 Email: hello@switchboard.lgbt Web: www.switchboard.lgbt
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SSAFA Forces Help A national charity helping serving and ex-service men, women and their families in need. Tel: 0800 260 6767 Web: www.ssafa.org.uk The Terrence Higgins Trust A charity providing practical support, help, counselling and advice for anyone with concern about HIV or AIDS. Tel: 0808 802 1221 Email: info@tht.org.uk Web: www.tht.org.uk
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Grief in children Generally, children do not understand the meaning of death until they are three or four years old. Even so, they feel the loss of a close friend or relative in much the same way as adults. It is clear that even in infancy, children grieve and feel great distress. Children experience the passage of time differently to adults and can therefore appear to overcome grief quite quickly. Nevertheless, children in their early school years may need reassuring that they are not responsible for the death of a close relative as they often blame themselves for one reason or another. As they will often not want to burden parents by talking about feelings it is important that the grief of a young person is not overlooked. For this reason they should usually be included in the funeral arrangements, bearing in mind that children should not have to attend a funeral if they feel they do not want to.
Support for bereaved children Child Bereavement UK Dedicated support for those who have lost a child and/or a child who has suffered bereavement. Tel: 0800 028 8840 Email: helpline@childbereavementuk.org Web: www.childbereavementuk.org Child Death Helpline Services for those who have suffered the loss of a child and for bereaved children. Tel: 0800 282 986 or 0808 800 6019 Web: www.childdeathhelpline.org.uk
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Childline Support for children in any kind of distress, including those who are bereaved. Tel: 0800 1111 Web: www.childline.org.uk
DETAILS CORRECT AT THE TIME OF PRINTING
The inclusion of people or organisations on this list does not represent an endorsement of the services offered by outside organisations. For local branches of these organisations, look in your local telephone book or ask at an advice centre in your area.
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Donating a body for medical education, training or research Medical Science is very grateful to those benevolent individuals who bequeath their bodies, under the Human Tissue Act, for use after their death to help doctors and other health specialists to learn about the intricacies of the human body. People who donate their body for medical education, training or research make a vital contribution to training at Medical Schools. If your loved one wished to donate their body they must have made their wishes known, in writing, and informed their next of kin before they died. For further information regarding the Human Tissue Act and information about donating a body, visit the website www.keele.ac.uk/medicine/anatomy or call 01782 734690.
Providing feedback about our service We strive to improve the service that we provide to the bereaved, and we would greatly value your feedback. We welcome written feedback either via email or through the post. Post: Bereavement Centre, Main Building, Royal Stoke University Hospital, Newcastle Road, Stoke-on-Trent, ST4 6QG Email: bereavement.uhns@nhs.net There is also a Bereavement Care Survey leaflet enclosed within the Bereavement Pack Folder to help express your experiences with the bereavement care you received. Scan the QR code to complete this form online. 21
Memorial donations Rather than flowers at the funeral of their loved ones, many people are now opting for charitable donations in their memory. Your Funeral Director can arrange for memorial donations to go to a charity of your choice. UHNM Charity is a registered charity, which provides funds to enable the University Hospitals of North Midlands NHS Trust to purchase state-of-the-art medical equipment, and to enhance and improve patient experience and comfort within our hospitals. Should you choose to make a donation in memory of your loved one to UHNM Charity, you can be assured that you are helping to improve the health, comfort and hospital experience of local people every day. You can choose for your donation to go to a specific ward or department, which will help the UHNM Charity to purchase items specifically for that area. Donations and specific instructions can be sent in by cheque, with a covering letter to the address below. Cheques should be made payable to UHNM Charity. UHNM Charity Main Building Royal Stoke University Hospital Newcastle Road Stoke-on-Trent ST4 6QG Email: charity@uhnm.nhs.uk Tel: 01782 676444 Registered Charity Number. 1054889
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Useful contact details Bereavement Centre Main Building, Royal Stoke University Hospital, Newcastle Road, Stoke-on-Trent, ST4 6QG Email: bereavement.uhns@nhs.net Tel: 01782 676323 Patient Advice & Liaison Service Main Building, Royal Stoke University Hospital, Newcastle Road, Stoke-on-Trent, ST4 6QG Email: patientadvice.uhnm@nhs.net Tel: 01782 676450 Spiritual, Pastoral & Religious Care Service (The Chaplains) Main Building, Royal Stoke University Hospital, Newcastle Road, Stoke-on-Trent, ST4 6QG Email: admin.chaplaincy@uhnm.nhs.uk Tel: 01782 676400 Cashier’s Office Main Building, Royal Stoke University Hospital, Newcastle Road, Stoke-on-Trent, ST4 6QG Tel: 01782 676311 Stoke-on-Trent Registration Service The Register Office, Civic Centre, Glebe Street, Stoke-on-Trent, ST4 1HH Email: register.office@stoke.gov.uk Tel: 01782 235260 Staffordshire & Stoke-on-Trent Coroner’s Service HM Coroner’s Court & Chambers, Swann House, Boothen Road, Stoke-on-Trent, ST4 4SY Email: staffordshireandstokecoroners@stoke.gov.uk Tel: 01782 234777 23
Useful contact details continued... Carmountside Cemetery & Crematorium Leek Road, Milton, Stoke-on-Trent, ST2 7AB Tel: 01782 235050 Newcastle-under-Lyme (Bradwell) Crematorium Chatterley Close, Bradwell, Newcastle-under-Lyme, ST5 8LE Tel: 01782 635498 Citizens Advice 13-15 Cheapside, Hanley, Stoke-on-Trent, ST1 1HL Tel: 0344 411 1444 Newcastle-under-Lyme Cemeteries Keele Cemetery, Keele Road, Keele, Newcastle-under-Lyme, ST5 5AB Tel: 01782 616379 Please contact the various departments and organisations directly for their opening times. Details correct at time of print.
Reference: Royal Stoke University Hospital Bereavement Booklet Review Date: June 2028 Publication Date: June 2026
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The Hospital would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services offering their help at this time. Whilst the Hospital is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide. Please note, whilst information is correct at the time of publication, this may be subject to future change.
STOPPING JUNK MAIL If someone you know has died, we can reduce the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them, stopping painful daily reminders. By registering with our free service, the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks.
Call: 0333 006 8114 OR
Visit our website: www.stopmail.co.uk bereavement support network stop mail
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Calls are charged at standard landline rates. Calls from mobiles are included in inclusive call packages. © Bereavement Support Network Ltd 2026
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This publication has been jointly developed between ourselves and the hospital. We hope that it has been or will be of help at this time and we welcome any comments or suggestions that you may have. Please contact us either by phone, email or by post.
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