Manor Hospital Walsall by bereavementadvice

Walsall Healthcare NHS NHS Trust

What To Do Following A Death In Walsall

We are sorry to hear that you have just learned of the death of someone close to you and we wish to express our sincere sympathy to you and your family at this sad time. You may be feeling bewildered, distressed, and unsure of how to proceed with arrangements. This booklet gives some useful and helpful advice during the early days of your bereavement. Please do not hesitate to ask questions if you are unsure about anything. Our staff will always be pleased to help.

Reference: Manor Hospital Bereavement Book Review Date: February 2028 Publication Date: February 2026

Introduction Walsall Healthcare Hospital Trust has produced this booklet to provide some help, guidance, and advice during the early days of your bereavement. We acknowledge this can be a difficult and confusing time. We would like to extend our condolences and assurance that we will try to help you in any way we can. Following a death there are certain formalities to be dealt with, such as registering the death and arranging the funeral. We hope that this booklet will help you with some of these.

Bereavement Office at Walsall Manor Hospital Opening hours: 10am - 4pm Monday - Friday (excluding Bank Holidays) Telephone Email

: 01922 604637 : bereavement.office2@nhs.net

Medical Examiners Office at Walsall Manor Hospital Opening Hours: 9am - 5pm Monday - Friday (excluding Bank Holidays) Telephone Email

: 01922 604635/ 01922 604636 :wht.me@nhs.net

Contents First 24 Hours - Community or at Home............................................................................................... 1 When a death occurs at Walsall Manor Hospital.................................................................... 1 When a death occurs at Goscote Hospice...................................................................................... 2 Viewing arrangements Goscote Hospice.............................................................................................. 3 Do I contact a Funeral Director now?........................................................................................................ 5 Blossom Suite (Viewing Arrangements).............................................................................................................. 5 Use of Religious Washing Facilities - Walsall Manor Hospital............................ 7 Tissue Donation............................................................................................................................................................................. 7 When Can I Collect Any Property and Valuables?................................................................. 8 National Medical Examiner System............................................................................................................... 8 Medical Examiners.................................................................................................................................................................... 8 Coroner’s and Post Mortem Examinations........................................................................................ 9 Coroner’s post mortem/digital autopsy................................................................................................. 10 Hospital post mortem.......................................................................................................................................................... 10 When and How To Register A Death............................................................................................................ 11 ‘Tell Us Once’ Service........................................................................................................................................................... 12 Walsall Register Office location map........................................................................................................... 15 Some Advice You May Find Useful (Bereavement Support Payment)..................... 16 The Chaplaincy and Spiritual Care Team............................................................................................... 24 Help and support dealing with bereavement............................................................................... 25 Support Organisations ...................................................................................................................................................... 30

All deaths in England and Wales will be independently reviewed, either by a coroner where they have a duty to investigate or by a medical examiner.

First 24 Hours - Community or at Home When a death occurs at home, in a care home or elsewhere in the Community, the GP who was caring for the person who died will be contacted. Following verification, a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) will be emailed to the medical examiner’s office at Walsall Manor Hospital. Once the medical examiners team have reviewed and revised (if necessary) the MCCD will be emailed to the register by the medical examiners team (Register Office, see page 11). The family/carer will have the opportunity to ask questions about causes of death or raise concerns about care or circumstances before death with the medical examiner team. Informants are required to register deaths within 5 days of the register office receiving the completed MCCD from the Medical Examiner Team. If you wish to view your loved one, you will need to contact your funeral director who will be able to arrange this for you.

When a death occurs at Walsall Manor Hospital If the death occurred over the weekend or a bank holiday the process of completing the MCCD (Medical Certificate of Cause of Death) will take place during the next working day. Family/Carers are advised to contact the Bereavement Office (01922 604637) after 10am the next working day, (you may get an answer message if the bereavement staff are busy on other calls, please leave your name, telephone number and the name of the person who has passed, the bereavement staff will return your call as soon as possible). Recent legislation now instructs all deaths to be scrutinised by the Medical Examiners Team (see page 8). ~1~

A Doctor who has cared for the person who died will complete the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death and discuss the case with the medical examiner team. The medical examiner team will call the family/carers and give them the opportunity to ask questions about causes of death or raise concerns about care before death or the circumstances of death. The MCCD is then emailed to the register office (see page 11). Informants are required to register deaths within 5 days of the register office receiving the completed MCCD from the medical examiner team. Someone from the Register Office or Bereavement Team will call you to make an appointment for you to register the death. On a few occasions the date of death may be different from the one you as family/carer were expecting, this is likely to occur if your loved one died late at night, and the Doctor is unable to carry out the verification of death until the early hours of the morning. The Registrar will always take the date of death as informed by family. Coroners Referrals In some cases, the death will have to be referred to the Coroners (see page 9).

When a death occurs at Goscote Hospice If the death occurred over the weekend or a bank holiday the process of completing the MCCD (Medical Certificate of Cause of Death) will take place the next working day. The funeral director should be contacted as soon as is convenient to prevent any delays. Family/Carers are asked to contact the Bereavement Office Manor Hospital (01922 604637) after 10am the next working day. Recent legislation now instructs all deaths to be scrutinised by the medical examiners team in the first instance (see page 8). The Doctor who cared for the person who died will have a discussion with the medical examiner and complete the MCCD. ~2~

The medical examiner team will call the family/carers and give them the opportunity to ask questions about causes of death or raise concerns about care before death or the circumstances of death. The MCCD is then emailed to the register office (see page 11). Someone from the Register Office or bereavement team will call you to make an appointment for you to register the death. Informants are required to register deaths within 5 days of the register office receiving the completed MCCD from the medical examiner team. Coroners Referrals In some cases, the death will have to be referred to the Coroners (see page 9).

Viewing arrangements Goscote Hospice If you wish to view your loved one at Goscote Hospice, please inform the Hospice staff on 01922 602545. Viewing is by appointment only.

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Palliative Care Centre- Goscote

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Do I contact a Funeral Director now? It is important to contact the funeral director of your choice as soon as possible so that they can start making provisional arrangements on your behalf. You need not wait until the MCCD has been issued or you have registered the death. Most funeral directors are available 7 days a week and are usually happy to visit you at home to help and advise you. Prices for funerals vary and you may wish to contact several funeral directors to compare prices and services offered before deciding. The following organisations for funeral directors have codes of practice which commit their members to ensure high standards of service and care. • National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD) Tel: 0121 711 1343 www.nafd.org.uk • National Society of Allied & Independent Funeral Directors Tel: 0845 230 6777 www.saif.org.uk

Blossom Suite (Viewing Arrangements) Relatives may wish to see their loved one whilst they remain in the care of the hospital or may prefer to wait until their loved one is in the care of the funeral director, some may wish to remember their loved one as they were. It is a personal choice. If you do wish to visit the Blossom suite to see your loved one you must make an appointment before you arrive. Please speak to the Mortuary team directly (01922 656238). Viewings are limited to 60 minutes; family/carer can limit viewing access by contacting the Mortuary if required. Viewing Appointments can take place between 9.30am – 3pm weekdays ~5~

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The Blossom suite is located at the rear of Walsall Manor Hospital, Moat Rd, Walsall, WS2 9PS. Access is via the Ida Rd entrance. If you are arriving from the Moat Rd entrance, you will have to park in the main car park. You should be prepared for a long walk. Please follow the signs for the coroner’s court or route 240. (Please inform the mortuary staff of your car registration and you will not have to pay for parking). If someone attending has a disability or is unable to walk far, please talk to the mortuary team (01922 656238).

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Use of Religious Washing Facilities – Walsall Manor Hospital This facility is located within the mortuary complex only. Relatives wishing to use this facility should call 01922 656238 to book a suitable appointment. Opening hours are 9.30am-3pm weekdays excluding bank holidays. Relatives are asked to contact their local Mosque/Temple to obtain details of suitable facilities available at the weekend. Guidance Due to limited space, we advise that only four family members participate in this activity. Relatives are requested to use waste containers to dispose of cleansing materials. For health and safety reasons, incense (joss stick) cannot be used. Parking adjacent to the mortuary is very limited. Families are advised to use the hospital car park to avoid blocking the entrance to the mortuary.

Tissue Donation Every year hundreds of lives are dramatically improved through the use of tissues donated after someone dies. Tissue donation is entirely voluntary and is dependent on the wishes of the families. The person that has died may have carried a Donor Card, be registered on the Organ Donor Register, or may have discussed donation with their family. Tissue donation will not delay any funeral arrangements and, because great care is taken to restore the person’s natural appearance, it will still be possible to arrange a viewing after donation has taken place. If you would like further information, please contact NHS Blood and Transplant National Referral Centre: 0300 123 23 23

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When Can I Collect Any Property and Valuables? When someone dies the ward staff will invite you to take home any property that your relative/friend had at their bedside. The ward will arrange for any personal belongings that have not been collected to be sent to the bereavement office, please call (01922 604637), to arrange collection of the property and valuables. Property will be held for TWO WEEKS and then disposed of if not collected.

National Medical Examiner System The purpose of the Medical Examiner system is to: •

Provide greater safeguards for the public by ensuring proper scrutiny of all non-coronial deaths.

•

Ensure the appropriate direction of deaths to the coroner.

•

Provide a better service for the bereaved and an opportunity for them to raise any concerns to a doctor not involved in the care of the deceased.

•

Improve the quality of death certification.

•

Improve the quality of mortality data.

Medical Examiners Medical Examiners are senior medical doctors who are contracted for several sessions a week to undertake Medical Examiner duties, outside of their usual clinical duties. They are trained in the legal and clinical elements of death certification processes.

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Medical Examiner Offices at Acute Trusts in England Medical Examiner Offices at acute trusts will be staffed by a team of Medical Examiners, supported by Medical Examiners Officers. The role of these officers is to examine deaths to: •

Agree the proposed cause of death and the overall accuracy of the medical certificate cause of death.

•

Discuss the cause of death with the next of kin/informant and establishing if they have any concerns with care that could have impacted/led to death.

•

Act as a medical advice resource for the local coroner.

•

Inform the selection of cases for further review under local mortality arrangements and contributing to other clinical governance procedures.

Coroner’s and Post Mortem Examinations Coroner A death sometimes must be reported to the coroner for legal reasons and you will be advised if this must happen by the medical examiner team. The coroner is appointed to investigate certain types of death which may include: • No precise cause can be established. •

It follows an operation, or results from a possible complication of surgery or anaesthetic.

•

It is not thought to be from natural causes.

•

It is due to an injury or a fall, however it happened, or if an accident or negligence is alleged.

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Coroner’s post mortem/digital autopsy The coroner may order a post mortem/digital autopsy examination to determine the exact cause of death, but not all referrals result in an examination. If the coroner orders a post mortem/digital autopsy examination, it becomes a legal obligation; therefore, permission from relatives/carers is not needed, although you will be notified. Once the results of the examination are known, if an inquest is not required, documentation will be issued directly to the Register Office and the Coroner’s office will advise you to make an appointment to register the death. Coroner’s Office - Black Country Coroners Court, Jack Judge House, Halesowen Street, Oldbury, West Midlands B69 2AJ Telephone: 0121 569 7200

Hospital post mortem Hospital post mortems are not needed by law but may be requested by doctors or the next-of-kin when they need more information regarding the death. This can help families and doctors understand the cause of death and may help others with a similar illness in the future. The doctors must ask your permission to perform a hospital post mortem and you will be asked to sign a consent form if you agree.

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When and How To Register A Death Informants are required to register deaths within 5 days of the register office receiving the completed Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) from the medical examiner team. The medical examiner team will send the MCCD electronically to the registrar’s office. Someone from the Register Office or the bereavement team will call you to make an appointment for you to register the death. An appointment will be made with the Register Office in the district where the death occurred. The Registrar will need the following information: •

The full names and any other names used by the deceased (including maiden surname if this applies)

•

Date of death

•

Place of death

•

Date and place of birth (a birth certificate or passport would be helpful to ensure an accurate registration)

•

Last full-time occupation

•

Current address

•

Name of any surviving spouse or civil partner

At the time you register the death you will receive: •

Death certificates: A death certificate is a certified copy of the entry of the death in the register. Certificates can be obtained at the time of registration or at any time afterwards for £12.50 each.

•

Death certificates may be needed by an Executor or Administrator.

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You may also need certificates for: •

Financial Contracts and Agreements

Pension & Insurance claims

•

Probate

•

Premium Bonds and National Savings

•

Solicitors

•

Accountants

•

Life Insurance

•

Certificate for Burial or Cremation (green form):

•

Banks

•

Building Societies

•

This will be emailed by the registrars to your funeral directors. It gives permission for the body to be buried or for an application to be made for cremation. Where a post mortem has taken place and the deceased is to be cremated, the coroner will liaise with the funeral director and issue the necessary forms. If the deceased is to be buried or cremated outside of England or Wales the coroner will issue the necessary forms.

‘Tell Us Once’ Service When you are dealing with emotional and practical difficulties following bereavement, Walsall Registration Service can help you with informing local and central government agencies who will need to be notified of your change in circumstances. Following registration, the Registrar will provide you with details of this service which you can then contact on line or by telephone. Please ask the Register Office for details. The following departments will be informed through this service.

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Local Councils • Housing benefit office • Council tax payments and benefits office • Libraries • Blue badges - please bring the blue badge with you if available • Adult Social care • Children’s Services • Collection of payments for council services • Electoral Services • Department for Work and Pensions • Child benefit • Child tax credit or working tax credit HM Passport Office • Passport Cancellation Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency • Driving Licence Cancellation In addition to the above there may be many other organisations to contact.

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You can use the following as guidance to make sure you have contacted everyone you need to. •

Bank, Credit Cards, Building Society

•

Place of work (occupational pension)

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Executors of the estate (Will)

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Solicitor

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Landlord

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Electricity, Gas, Telephone, Water companies

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Royal Mail, Newsagent, Milk Deliveries

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Priest, Vicar, Minister or Faith Leader

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Schools, College, or University attended

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Residential or nursing home

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Careline (personal alarm service)

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Cancel any appointments

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Community Equipment Services (CES)

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Some advice you may find useful Bereavement Support Payment How it works You may be able to get Bereavement Support Payment if your partner has died. It has replaced the following benefits: •

Widowed Parent’s Allowance – if you already get this, your payments will continue until you’re no longer eligible

•

Bereavement Allowance (previously Widow’s Pension)

•

Bereavement Payment

Eligibility Bereavement Support Payment is not means-tested. This means what you earn or how much you have in savings will not affect what you get. When your partner died, you must have been: •

Under State Pension age

•

Living in the UK, or a country that pays bereavement benefits

•

Married to your partner, in a civil partnership with them, or living with them as if you were married

Your partner must have either: •

Paid a certain amount of Class 1 or Class 2 National Insurance contributions in any one tax year since 6 April 1975

•

Died because of an accident at work or a disease caused by work

You can still make a claim if you’re not sure whether your partner paid enough National Insurance contributions. The Bereavement Service will let you know. You cannot claim Bereavement Support if you’re in prison. When you need to make your claim You usually need to make a claim within 21 months of your partner’s death. ~ 16 ~

If you were living together as though you were married with the person who died You may be able to get Bereavement Support Payment if your partner died on or after 6 April 2017. You must have been: • Under State Pension age when your partner died • Under State Pension age on 30 August 2018 When your partner died, you must have been either: • Getting or entitled to Child Benefit • Pregnant You must meet the eligibility rules for Child Benefit but you do not need to have made a claim for it.

What you’ll get The amount of Bereavement Support Payment you can get will depend on your relationship to the person who died and when you make your claim. Your payments will be paid into your bank, building society or credit union account.

If you were married or in a registered civil partnership with the person who died If you were getting Child Benefit when your partner died (or did not get it but were entitled to it), you’ll get the higher rate. This is made up of: • A first payment of £3,500 • Up to 18 monthly payments of £350

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If you were not entitled to Child Benefit, you’ll get the lower rate unless you were pregnant when your partner died. This is made up of: • A first payment of £2,500 • Up to 18 monthly payments of £100 You must claim within 12 months of your partner’s death to get the first payment. If you claim after this time, you will only get monthly payments.

If you were living together as though you were married with the person who died You’ll get a first payment of £3,500 and then up to 18 monthly payments of £350. You may get fewer payments if: • Your partner died after 9 February 2023 and you claim more than 3 months after your partner’s death • Your partner died before 30 August 2018

If you get benefits Bereavement Support Payment will not affect your benefits for a year after your first payment. After a year, money you have left from your first payment could affect the amount you get if you renew or make a claim for another benefit. You must tell your benefits office (for example, your local Jobcentre Plus) when you start getting Bereavement Support Payment.

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How to claim You can apply for Bereavement Support Payment online, by telephone or by post. To apply, you’ll need: • Your National Insurance number • Your bank or building society account details • The date your partner died • Your partner’s National Insurance number

Apply online This is a trial service and it will only allow a limited number of daily applications.

Apply by phone Bereavement Service helpline Telephone: 0800 151 2012 Welsh language: 0800 731 0453 Textphone: 0800 731 0464 Welsh language: 0800 731 0456 Relay UK (if you cannot hear or speak on the phone): 18001 then 0800 151 2012 British Sign Language (BSL) video relay service if you’re on a computer Monday to Friday, 8am to 6pm

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Apply by post To get a claim form, you can either: • Download a Bereavement Support Payment form (BSP1) • Contact your nearest Jobcentre Plus to get one through the post Send it to the address on the form.

Citizens Advice Walsall office Location E-act Academy (Caretakers Cottage), Furzebank Way, Willenhall WV12 4BD Advice session times: (Appointment basis only) Contact Us office@citizensadvicesandwell-walsall.org Advice Line: 0808 278 7812

Citizens Advice Wednesbury office Location Wednesbury Library, Walsall Street, Wednesbury WS10 9EH Advice session times: Tuesday - 9.30 - 5.30 Friday - 9.30 - 5.00 Contact Us swan@citizensadvicesandwell-walsall.org

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Get help with funeral costs (Funeral Expenses Payment) How it works You could get a Funeral Expenses Payment (also called a Funeral Payment) if you get certain benefits and need help to pay for a funeral you’re arranging. If you receive money from the deceased’s estate Your Funeral Expenses Payment will be deducted from any money you get from the deceased’s estate. The estate includes any money or property they had but not a house or personal things left to a widow, widower or surviving civil partner. What you’ll get Funeral Expenses Payment can help pay for some of the costs of the following: • Burial fees for a particular plot • Cremation fees, including the cost of the doctor’s certificate • Travel to arrange or go to the funeral • The cost of moving the body within the UK, if it’s being moved more than 50 miles • Death certificates or other documents You can also get up to £1,000 for any other funeral expenses, such as funeral director’s fees, flowers or the coffin. The payment will not usually cover all of the costs of the funeral. How much you get depends on your circumstances. This includes any other money that’s available to cover the costs, for example from an insurance policy or the deceased person’s estate. If the deceased had a pre-paid funeral plan, you can only get up to £120 to help pay for items not covered by their plan.

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If there is a private funeral payment plan, there is a limit of £120 for any of these other expenses that are not already covered by the funeral plan. A funeral payment will be reduced by any available assets of the person who has died. This means any resources they had which can be used to pay towards the funeral, but doesn’t include arrears of benefits owing to them when they died. It also includes: • Lump sum insurance payments • Pension scheme payments • Contributions towards funeral expenses from charities or relatives • Any money paid out under a pre-paid funeral plan If you get a funeral payment which does not cover all the costs, you may be able to get a budgeting loan as well. When to claim a funeral payment You can claim a funeral payment from the date of death up to three months after the date of the funeral, even if you have already paid the funeral bill. How to claim a funeral payment You can claim by: • Phoning the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) Bereavement Service, 0800 151 2012. They can take a claim for a funeral payment and bereavement benefits over the phone. They can also do a benefit check to see if the next of kin is entitled to any other benefits as a result of the death. • Contacting your local Jobcentre Plus office for a claim form SF200. • Downloading an SF200 claim form from the GOV.UK website at www.gov.uk. For more information about the Bereavement Service, see ‘Telling government about the death’ in ‘What to do after a death’. If you have used a funeral director who has not yet been paid, the funeral payment will usually be sent direct to them. If the funeral director has already been paid, the payment will be made to you. You may not be able to claim back the full costs of the funeral. ~ 22 ~

If you are refused a funeral payment If you are refused a funeral payment or think your award is lower than it should be, you can challenge the decision. You should do this within one month of the decision. Further information about funeral payments For more information about funeral payments from the Social Fund, go to the GOV.UK website at: www.gov.uk. For more information about challenging a decision, see ‘Problems with benefits and tax credits’. If you are not happy with a funeral payment decision you can also consult an experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau.

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The Chaplaincy and Spiritual Care Team What they do: Chaplains are part of the care team and provide pastoral, spiritual, and religious support to patients, their families, and visitors. Our chaplains are good at listening and good at supporting – especially for those who find themselves suddenly upset or distressed. Many of the people they support don’t have a particular faith but just need someone to talk to. However our chaplains also come from the faith communities in our local areas and so can support those from Christian (including Roman Catholic), Muslim, Sikh, and Hindu faiths. But please know they can offer support, advice, and a listening ear to everyone, whatever faith or beliefs you may or may not hold. How to contact: Contact us direct on 01922 603097 or email: wht.chaplaincy@nhs.net Our normal working hours are Mon- Fri 9am – 5pm Ask the ward staff to contact us. In an emergency? There is a chaplain on call 24/7 to respond at times of special and urgent need. In such instances please ask staff to contact the on-call chaplain via the Switchboard. When can they help: Chaplains can provide support just after someone has died, and they can provide support if you decide that you want to visit your loved one in our Mortuary Viewing room. Please ask the ward staff or the mortuary staff if you wish a chaplain to be present with you as you attend a Viewing. A place to be Quiet: Should you wish to have a place for quiet reflection and prayer you are welcome to use the Chapel and Prayer Room on Route 140 or the Multi-Faith Prayer Room on Route 137. Both can be found on the lower floor of the West Wing at the Manor Hospital. The Sacred Space is also open to everyone at the Palliative Care Centre. ~ 24 ~

Help and support dealing with bereavement Introduction Grieving is a natural response to the loss of someone close to you. The booklet attempts to describe the experience of grieving for both adults and children. It is not a ‘how to grieve’ manual but rather an aid to understanding what can be a very difficult and painful time. The booklet features details of a number of support organisations. Grieving Bereavement is something which all of us experience at some time in our lives. The experience of loss can be difficult and hard to accept. We may feel confused, uncertain, overwhelmed and sad. A whole rollercoaster of emotions may be experienced. This is grieving. This booklet describes some of the feelings that people have when they grieve. Not everyone will experience all of these feelings and they may come in any order. Grieving is normal and people will react differently in their own way. There is no time limit as to how long you may experience the feelings associated with grief. Allow yourself time for healing to take place. Numbness and Shock At first you may feel numb and a sense of shock and disbelief. You may find it hard to accept your loss. This is a very common and normal reaction.

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Guilt and Anger It is not uncommon to feel guilty as you think of things that you should have said or done. You may have strong feelings of anger; anger at yourself for the things you said or always meant to say. You may be angry and want to blame those around you, close family members or those who cared for the person who has died. You may feel anger towards the person who has died. Longing Longing is not unusual. You may feel a physical aching in your heart. You may imagine that you see them in the street, on the bus or hear their voice although you know that they are dead. Feeling low and problems sleeping It is not uncommon to feel low. You may feel tired and unable to settle or sleep. You may feel hungry, but not interested in your food. Concentration and thinking straight can be difficult, simple problems may be blown out of all proportion. It is not unusual to feel run down and tired, to experience aches and pains such as stomach upset. Whilst all of this can be quite common for those grieving, if you feel very unsettled do visit your family doctor (GP). Feelings Of Isolation When someone, who has been a big part of your life, has died you can feel very empty and the feelings of isolation can be very strong. Indeed you may feel lonely even in the company of others. Friends and neighbours may avoid you because they don’t know what to say or are worried that if they say anything it may be the wrong thing and will upset you. They may simply not understand your loss or they may be grieving too. It may help to take the first step, letting them know that you would appreciate their friendship and support.

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Making changes It may feel that life may be more bearable if you make changes to avoid painful memories. Try to avoid altering things too soon. In time Time in itself does not heal. It is allowing yourself to grieve in that time that is of help. You will find memories are perhaps less painful. You will find yourself being able to remember without becoming too distressed. Your memory of them may be more bearable but you will not have forgotten them. Allow yourself to laugh, cry and be angry. You have lost someone, it hurts. Things to consider •

• • •

Allow yourself time and space to grieve, in the way that feels right for you. Generally there is no right or wrong way to grieve, however be mindful of making unhelpful and unhealthy choices in your grief. Try to accept help from others. Take care of yourself, eat sensibly and check with your doctor about any health worries. When the time feels right try to consider setting new routines, look at areas of importance and interest. Sharing your feelings can be helpful. It is not always easy to do this with family and friends. If this is so, the organisations listed in this booklet are available to help.

Children’s Grief A close death will impact on the children in the family as much as on the adults concerned, however they tend to show their grief differently. For instance, older children and adults tend to move in and out of their grief slowly, whereas younger children do this more quickly. Children also tend to express their grief through changes in their behaviour, rather than by talking and crying.

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Behaviour changes At times following bereavement, younger children may seem very sad but then quite quickly ask an everyday question, such as “What are we having for dinner?” This may seem strange to adults, but it doesn’t mean they care any less. They just find it more difficult to find the words to express how they are feeling. Children’s behaviour may also change as they are affected by grief. They may become angry, have more temper tantrums, or show more challenging behaviour at school. Alternatively they may become more withdrawn and quiet, doing their best to be as good as possible to help their family and those around them knowing they are also sad. Their changed behaviours may include physical symptoms, such as tummy pains, or regression back to earlier ways of behaving, such as bed wetting. Babies may cry more and be harder to console or become more withdrawn. All of these behaviours are likely to resolve in time, with the support of their carer(s). Children may also become clingy and worry that their remaining family member(s) could die too. It helps to let them know that their carer(s) are well and it is unlikely they are going to die too. As children may behave differently at school and at home, it helps to keep in touch with the school and let their teachers know what has happened. Needing To Understand Children need help to understand what has happened and their information needs will change according to their age and level of development. Young children may find it hard to accept that death is irreversible, and may ask lots of questions about what has happened or where the deceased has gone. Older ones will understand that death is permanent, but may have more ‘Why?’ and ‘How?’ questions. It is important they are offered the space to talk when they are ready. It helps if adults answer their questions as honestly as they can. Using words which are likely to make things clearer, such as ‘daddy/mummy died’ rather than ‘daddy/mummy has gone to sleep’, helps to prevent misunderstandings. Children may also worry that they somehow caused the death, or that the person died because they were naughty. They need to understand the death was not their fault.

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Needing Routines It is reassuring to children when they know what to expect. They may be worried about who will do the things that the deceased used to do and ask questions like “who is going to take me to school now?” Maintaining their usual routines where possible helps to reassure children that aspects of their life can remain the same and will help them to adapt, in time, to their new life without their family member. Getting Help Occasionally children struggle with adapting to the changes in their lives following bereavement and professional support may be needed if the carer(s) or the school have serious concerns. Most children cope well with the support of family and friends. Helping a grieving child is demanding of their bereaved carer(s). Most people cope well, but it may be helpful for the carer(s) to have professional input if they find things difficult. Bereavement counselling can offer space for carer(s) to grieve and support them in the ability to help their children themselves.

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Support Organisations Age UK Offers advice, information and services for the elderly and their carers. ✆ 0800 678 1602 www.ageuk.org.uk Bereavement Support Network Advice regarding funerals, probate, tax benefits and preventing junk mail to the deceased. ✆ 0333 240 0360 www.bereavementsupportnetwork. co.uk Bereavement Service for Cancer & Palliative Care Walsall Healthcare NHS Trust Individual support is provided to those bereaved by way of cancer or other life limiting conditions. Pre-grief work is undertaken. Walsall Palliative Care Centre Goscote Lane, Walsall WS3 1SJ ✆ 01922 602570 Chaplaincy & Spirituality Services Manor Hospital Chaplains are available to offer listening and pastoral care and can give advice on funeral arrangements. ✆ 01922 656216 Child Death Helpline Telephone support by bereaved parents for bereaved parents. ✆ 0800 282986 Email: contact@ childdeathhelpline.org.uk www.childdeathhelpline.org.uk

Childhood Bereavement Network Provides access to information, guidance and support services for bereaved children and carers. ✆ 020 7843 6309 www.childhoodbereavement network.org.uk Compassionate Friends An organisation of bereaved parents and their families. ✆ 0345 123 2304 www.tcf.org.uk Cruse Cruse Bereavement Care Sandwell offers free and confidential support to people who live in Sandwell after the death of someone close. If someone you know has died and you would like to talk we can offer the following services:• face-to-face, one-on-one support at our centre in Smethwick • support over the phone ✆ 0121 558 1798 sandwell@cruse.org.uk

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CRY (Cardiac Risk in the Young) Offers support to families who have lost an apparent healthy young person to sudden cardiac death. ✆ 01737 363222 www.c-r-y.org.uk Epilepsy Bereaved SUDEP Action, 18 Newbury Street, Wantage, Oxfordshire OX12 8XT ✆ 01235 772850 www.sudep.org Switchboard LGBT A helpline that offers a listening ear to the LGBT+ community and anyone who needs support. Support is available 10.00am - 10.00pm ✆ 0800 0119 100 Email: hello@switchboard.lgbt www.switchboard.lgbt Miscarriage Association Provides information, help and support for those suffering pregnancy loss. The Miscarriage Association, 2 Otters Holt, Wakefield WF4 3QE ✆ 0303 003 6464 Helpline Monday - Friday 9.00am - 4.00pm Email: info@miscarriageassociation.org.uk www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk

WAY Widowed and Young Offers support, friendship and understanding to people who have lost their partners. WAY Widowed and Young, Advantage House, Stowe Court Stowe Street, Lichfield WS13 6AQ ✆ 0300 201 0051 www.widowedandyoung.org.uk Samaritans The service is available 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which may lead to suicide. 24 hour service ✆ 116 123 or 01922 624000 www.samaritans.org SAMM (Support After Murder and Manslaughter) SAMM provides a confidential telephone helpline where you can talk to someone who has experienced the devastating effects of murder/ manslaughter. SAMM, L&DC, Tally Ho!, Pershore Road, Edgbaston, Birmingham B5 7RN ✆ 0121 472 2912 or ✆ 07342 888570 Email: info@samm.org.uk www.samm.org.uk

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SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society) SANDS offer support to bereaved parents whose baby is stillborn or dies during or soon after their birth. SANDS, 10 - 18 Union Street, London SE1 1SZ ✆ 0808 164 3332 Email: helpline@sands.org.uk www.sands.org.uk Local contacts are available throughout the area. Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS) Self help group which offers support to families and friends of those who have been bereaved by suicide. ✆ 0300 111 5065 www.uksobs.com The Union of Muslim Organisations - Walsall Confidential counselling service is available. ✆ 07775 813885 ✆ 07961 930113 www.umowalsall.org.uk

Walsall Bereavement Support Service The service offers support to residents of all ages who live in the Walsall Borough, irrespective of their relationship to the deceased person, the cause of death or the time that has elapsed since the death. Walsall Bereavement Support Service, Office Suite 2, The Crossing at St Pauls, Darwall Street, Walsall WS1 1DA ✆ 01922 724841 www.wbss.org.uk Manor Farm Community Association Bereavement Help Point (all ages) 10.30am – 12pm A friendly group, offering support for anyone who has experienced loss. ✆ 01922 614316

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For Children And Young People Bereavement Service for Cancer and Palliative Care Walsall Healthcare NHS Trust Walsall Palliative Care Centre, Goscote Lane, Walsall WS3 1SJ ✆ 01922 602570 Childline Childline is a confidential resource for children and young people where they can discuss anything no problem is too big or too small. ✆ 0800 1111 Cruse Young Persons Helpline Specifically for young people. Helpline and internet site which includes lads only forum. ✆ 0808 808 1677 Email: hopeagain@cruse.org.uk www.hopeagain.org.uk Edward’s Trust Sunrise Support and counselling for children of school age who are bereaved of a parent, significant carer, sibling or friend. 43a Calthorpe Road, Birmingham B15 1TS ✆ 0121 454 1705 www.edwardstrust.org.uk

Grief Encounter The grief encounter project aims to help bereaved children and young people rebuild their lives after a family death. The project aims to improve resources available to bereaved children and their families. It is designed to be used in conjunction with the grief encounters workbook. 33 - 35 Daws Lane, London NW7 4SD ✆ 020 8371 8455 www.griefencounter.org.uk Swing Project Walsall Bereavement Support Service Walsall Bereavement Support Service, Office Suite 2, The Crossing at St Pauls, Darwall Street, Walsall WS1 1DA ✆ 01922 645035 www.wbss.org.uk Winston’s Wish Winston’s Wish helps support bereaved children and young people. They offer practical support and guidance to families, professionals and anyone helping to support a child affected by death. Excellent source for resources and information, the interactive website for children and young people is also very useful. ✆ 0808 802 0021 www.winstonswish.org

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The Hospital would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services offering their help at this time. Whilst the Hospital is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide. Please note, whilst information is correct at the time of publication, this may be subject to future change.

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STOPPING JUNK MAIL If someone you know has died, we can reduce the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them, stopping painful daily reminders. A trading style of Turnside Marketing Ltd

By registering withThis our free service, the names andjointly addresses of the deceased are publication has been developed between removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six ourselves and the hospital. We hope that it has been or will be weeks. of help at this time and we welcome any comments or suggestions that you may have. Call: 0333 006 8114

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