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NHS

Hampshire Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust

BRECK

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War Memorial Community Hospital,

Countess of Brecknock House,

H O S PIC

E CO U NT E

Countess of Brecknock Hospice Bereavement Book

Hospice Reception/Ward 01264 835288

Charlton Road, Andover, Hampshire, SP10 3LB

The Countess of Brecknock Hospice The death of a loved one is a great loss. It is a very personal experience and everyone reacts to death in different ways. You may feel shocked and numb initially and this will make it hard to absorb any information you are given regarding practical arrangements. This leaflet is designed to answer a few of the usual queries we are asked and will enable you to think about things more clearly at home. When someone dies there are a number of decisions and arrangements to be made. This booklet has been prepared to help you deal with the practical arrangements at this difficult time. We hope you find the information helpful.

Contents What to do when someone dies in the hospice.................................................... 1 What to do when someone dies at home..................................................................... 1 Registering the death.............................................................................................................................. 2 Location map of Register Office................................................................................................ 3 Who may register the death?........................................................................................................ 4 Tell Us Once Service................................................................................................................................. 4 Arranging the funeral................................................................................................................................ 5 Paying for the funeral............................................................................................................................... 5 The Coroner......................................................................................................................................................... 6 The Will...................................................................................................................................................................... 7 Your feelings........................................................................................................................................................ 7 Bereavement support ............................................................................................................................ 8 Physical effects............................................................................................................................................... 9 Talking to children......................................................................................................................................... 9 Useful telephone numbers............................................................................................................... 10 Funeral Directors........................................................................................................................................... 11 Items which need returning............................................................................................................. 13 Stopping Junk Mail..................................................................................................................................... 14

What to do when someone dies in the hospice The period of time directly after a death can be very traumatic for a family. We understand that you will be feeling a variety of emotions and even shock and or numbness. These emotions are normal and must not be ignored. At the hospice we will endeavour to help you at this difficult time and often going home and calling us later can sometimes be the best way to allow you time to gather your thoughts and think of any questions you may have for us. Having time to think and clear your head is important. Telephone the ward on 01264 835288 at any time to arrange a suitable time to collect any personal belongings of your relative.

What to do when someone dies at home If a death should occur at home, out of hours, and the person is under the care of the hospice at home team, they can call the hospice to verify the death, the hospice team will then liaise directly with the patients own GP to arrange the death certificate. If the death should occur within normal working hours then they should contact their GP who will need to confirm that life has ceased; providing there is no Coroner’s investigation, the GP will issue a medical certificate stating the cause of death. You can collect this from the GP practice. When the death has been certified by a professional, you can telephone a funeral director/undertaker or a religious leader. They will take the body into their care at your request. If you prefer to keep the body at home for cultural or personal reasons until the funeral, they will be able to advise you about this.

Registering the death The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death, will be completed and sent electronically to the registrar’s office by our Doctor. You can then contact the registry office to make an appointment to register the death, in person. This can be done by phoning 0300 555 1392 or online at www.hants.gov.uk/birthsdeathsandceremonies/death Hampshire Hospital’s Bereavement Team will be in touch a few days after your loved one died. This is to go through any paperwork and to answer any questions you may have. Should you wish to contact the bereavement team please contact the team on 01962 863626. The Registrar will require the following information: • The date and place of death • The last (usual) address • The date and place of birth • The first names and surname (maiden name if applicable) • The deceased’s occupation (and the name and occupation of husband/wife if applicable) • Whether the deceased was receiving a pension or allowance from public funds • The date of birth of the surviving spouse (if applicable) The Registrar will give you the following when the death has been registered: • The death certificate • A certificate of registration of death for Social Security purposes. This must accompany any claims for areas of the person’s Social Security payments and will also ensure that the correct benefits are paid to the widow or widower. • A green certificate, which you must give to the Funeral Director to enable him to proceed with the funeral arrangements. There is a fee for the death certificate and any duplicates you require, (e.g. Life Assurance Companies). It will take you about 1 hour to register the death. 2

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Countess of Brecknock Hospice Andover War Memorial Hospital Charlton Road Andover SP10 3LB

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Who may register the death? The regulations state that only certain people may register a death. These are: • • • • •

A relative of the deceased who was present at the time of death A relative of the deceased in attendance during the last illness A relative of the deceased residing in the same local district A person present at the time of death A nominated person such as: an executor, solicitor or similar

Tell Us Once Service (Government and Council) When someone has died, there are lots of things that need to be done at a time when you probably least feel like doing them. One of these is contacting government departments and local council services that need to be informed. The Registrar can contact these services if you would like, so please let the Registrar know at your interview. A leaflet detailing this service is included in this bereavement pack. To ensure the right information is given to relevant organisations it will be helpful (but not necessary) if you can provide any of the following details: • The deceased person’s passport, or passport number (if they have one) • The deceased person’s driving licence, or licence number (if they have one) • Deceased person’s National Insurance number • Details of any benefits or services they were receiving, if any • Name of the person dealing with their estate

Arranging the funeral You are free to contact a funeral director of your choice before registration is complete. (See your local telephone directory or refer to the telephone numbers in the back of this booklet). Most funeral directors are available seven days a week. If you wish, they can visit your home and advise you and make all the arrangements necessary in accordance with your wishes. They will collect your relative and lay them to rest at their premises before the funeral takes place. If you would like to see your relative, the undertaker will be able to arrange this at their premises. You can ask for a religious or non-religious funeral and, unless the deceased had indicated their preference, you will also need to decide whether a burial or cremation service is arranged.

Paying for the funeral If you receive benefits, you may be entitled to help with funeral costs. You will need to apply for help and advice to your local Job Centre Plus. Funerals can be expensive but are usually paid for from the assets of the deceased person, but do not be afraid to discuss with the Funeral Directors, ways of reducing costs.

The Coroner In certain circumstances, a person’s death has to be reported to the Coroner. The Coroner is a qualified doctor or lawyer who is responsible for inquiring into the circumstances surrounding a death. If the Coroner requires a post mortem examination he does so as a matter of law and your consent is not required. Contact the Coroner’s Service: Tel: 01962 667884 The Coroner may order a post mortem examination in any of the following circumstances and does so without the authority of the next of kin. This should not delay you organising the funeral arrangements. • Sudden and unexpected deaths • Deaths where the cause is unknown and the doctor can not issue a death certificate • Death where the cause is known to be, or suspected to be due to causes other than natural disease (for example; accidents, unexplained injuries, industrial diseases) • Deaths in custody or where a person was held under a section of the Mental Health Act If you have been told that the death has been reported to the Coroner, you will not be issued with a Medical Certificate of the Cause of Death by the hospital. Instead, the Coroner’s Officer ensures that the document is delivered direct to the Registrar. This usually takes several days. You will be able to make an appointment to register the death when the paperwork is with the Registrar. Please ask for a copy of the hospital booklet on Coroner’s Post-Mortem.

The Will It is important that any Will made by the person who has died, is read as soon as possible. It may include their wishes regarding their funeral and should deal with the deceased’s affairs i.e. naming the executor/s. The Will may be held by a Solicitor, or lodged with a Bank, or may be found in the deceased’s home.

Your feelings The death of someone close to you will create strange and often frightening feelings. Everyone’s reaction is different, as is the way people cope with these feelings. Although your experience of grieving is individual to you, most people share some common emotional symptoms. These include: Sadness Despair Guilt

Longing Shock Anger

Numbness Helplessness

You may not feel any of these emotions, or you may find them difficult to identify. What you may experience, at least in the beginning, is a great muddle of different and often contradictory emotions. Sometimes these very uncomfortable feelings can be difficult to acknowledge even to yourself. There is no right or wrong way of dealing with your emotions and you need to do what feels comfortable for you. However in the end the pain of your loss is better faced than avoided.

Bereavement support The weeks and months after the loss of someone we love can be very sad, confusing, and difficult. You may feel overwhelmed by your thoughts and feelings, as well as the practical day to day demands. If you are trying to retain some control in a stressful situation, you can feel very vulnerable. Here at the Countess of Brecknock hospice, we have been working in partnership with Sue Ryder, to be able to offer: Grief Kind Spaces - a safe, informal, and supportive place. Our Grief Kind Spaces are held every Tuesday, 10.00 - 12.00 they are in-person drop-in sessions held at The Countess of Brecknock Hospice on the ground floor. The sessions provide a safe, informal and supportive place for people to come together and share their experiences of grief, helping attendees to feel heard and less alone. Please feel free to come and join the group, tea and coffee will be available, the sessions are welcoming, inclusive and open to anyone who is over 18 and has experienced a bereavement, whether you want to attend regularly to connect with others in similar situations or just drop in for a quick chat. The spaces are volunteer-led, with volunteers receiving training and guidance to help attendees connect with each other and share their experiences of grief through peer-to-peer support. Grief Kind Spaces is not a counselling service and attendees seeking more formal support will be signposted to one of our one to one bereavement support services, which the team will happily help you with.

Physical effects It is not uncommon for people grieving to experience a variety of physical symptoms, such as: Sleeplessness Panic Attacks Loss of memory

Inability to concentrate Pain Nausea

Palpitations Tiredness

You may want to talk to your doctor about these symptoms, particularly if they persist.

Talking to children As with adults, children’s reactions can vary. These depend on their age, previous experience of death, the circumstances and their relationship with the person who has died. Children seem to go through a shorter period of mourning and move in and out of grieving, one minute crying and the next playing happily. It is helpful for children to be given information by an adult who is emotionally close to the child and as soon as possible, preferably in a private place without interruption. They often need to know it is not their fault someone has died and to be reassured they themselves will continue to be cared for. It can be confusing for young children to hear phrases like “gone to sleep”, “Iost” or “taken away”. Being included and open to discussion helps children to make sense of what is happening rather than using their imagination and worrying more than necessary. Children usually manage to adjust to all the changes associated with bereavement without professional help. However, if you are concerned about them it is a good idea to speak to your doctor or school nurse who will have information about local resources. Your local library may also have a collection of suitable books.

Useful telephone numbers Age Concern Hampshire - help and advice for older people Tel: 01962 868545 Cruse Bereavement Care - a voluntary organisation run to help any bereaved person Tel: 0808 808 1677 Citizens Advice Bureau - for general or legal advice Tel: 08082 787 862 Job Centre Plus - for advice on benefits Tel: 0800 169 0190 Family Action - social care services to families in need Tel: 0808 802 6666 Gingerbread - support for one-parent families Single parent helpline: 0808 802 0925 The Money Advice Service - for questions regarding life insurance Tel: 0300 500 5000 Samaritans - a 24hr help-line Tel: 116 123

Funeral Directors AH Cheater

122 The Hundred, Romsey Tel: 01794 513393

Alexander & Dry

1 Seal Road, Basingstoke Tel: 01256 844663

Camp Hopson

90 West Street, Newbury Tel: 01635 522210

Dunning Funeral Service

2 Church Close, Andover Tel: 01264 280996

Halcrow & Sons

6A Bridge Street, Andover Tel: 01264 335255

Cyril H Lovegrove

58 Briants Avenue, Caversham Tel: 01189 461393 21 School Road, Tilehurst Tel: 01189 452103

Pure Cremation Ltd

Charlton Park Crematorium, Hatherden Road, Andover Tel: 0800 033 7737

Richard Steel & Partners Ltd

Alderman House, 12-14 City Road, Winchester Tel: 01962 862333 The Gate House, Victoria Road Bishop’s Waltham Tel: 01489 892640

Shergold Funeral Directors

11 Brown Street, Salisbury Tel: 01722 328966

S & J Maddocks

Station Approach, Andover Tel: 01264 355600

Stowells Funeral Service

Worting Road, Basingstoke Tel: 01256 321281

The Co-operative Funeralcare

22 London Street, Andover Tel: 01264 334798 3 Winchester Street, Whitchurch Tel: 01256 895914 1 Buckland Parade, Buckland Road, Basingstoke 01256 351606

Turner Brothers

15 Hampton Road, Newbury Tel: 01635 41615

Items which need returning There will probably be a number of items that may need to be returned to the relevant offices. Some of these can be cancelled at the Registrars at the time of your appointment. Here is a checklist to help you: • Pension books • Other Social Security or Benefit books • Equipment on loan (Hospital/Social Service/Red Cross) • Passport • Membership Cards • Driving Licence • Library Books • Cheque books and cards, including any credit cards • The Council provides a “Tell Us Once” service when registering a death. Please refer to page 4 for more information.

Stopping Junk Mail to the recently deceased If someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced which helps to stop painful daily reminders. By registering with the free service www.stopmail.co.uk the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks. If you cannot access the internet you can call 0333 006 8114, where you will be asked for very simple information that will take only a few minutes to complete. Alternatively, ask the bereavement team for a leaflet that can be returned in the post. This free of charge service provided by the Bereavement Support Network will not only actively reduce the unwanted marketing mail but also can help reduce the likelihood of identity theft following the death of someone close. The information is not used for any other purpose and you only have to complete this once. Additionally to Stop Mail a comparable service can also be accessed from the Bereavement Register or Deceased Preference Service if you would prefer to use them.

Reference:

The Countess of Brecknock Hospice Bereavement Booklet

Review Date:

December 2027

Publication Date:

December 2025

The Hospice would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services offering their help at this time. Whilst the Hospice is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.

STOPPING JUNK MAIL If someone you know has died, we can reduce the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them, stopping painful daily reminders. By registering with our free service, the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks.

Call: 0333 006 8114 OR

Visit our website: www.stopmail.co.uk

bereavement support network stop mail

here to help

Calls are charged at standard landline rates. Calls from mobiles are included in inclusive call packages. © Bereavement Support Network Ltd 2025

A trading style of Turnside Marketing Ltd

This publication has been jointly developed between ourselves and the hospice. We hope that it has been or will be of help at this time and we welcome any comments or suggestions that you may have. Please contact us either by phone, email or by post. RNS Publications, Trium House, Unit 15, Broughton Way, Whitehills, Blackpool FY4 5QN

01253 832400 enquiries@rns.co.uk