AMAB
SPRING 2019
ISSUE NO. 7
Autism Moms Are Beautiful
SIDRA JEFFERSON IVORY Splendid & Admirable
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Steps To Beautiful Lips
What’s in Your Safety Deposit Box?
Dr. April J. Lisbon
MARTA BRAIN
Interviewed by: Janley Coan Makeup Artist: Camilia Wilson Photographer: Point and Click Photography
Marta Brain is an autism mom who rocks. She is well known around the Houston area and continues to leave a lasting impression on others by her continuous support for the Autism community. Marta believes in helping others, working as a team, and advocating for babies. Sharing her journey will certainly bring joy to other Autism Moms! Janley Coan: When you hear the word Autism, what comes to mind? Marta Brain: Autism is, simply put, a disability in which the brain processes information differently. The brain processes environmental input differently. There can be challenges when it comes to communication, socialization as well as gross and fine motor skills. There are also some extraordinary facets to autism. My children astound me daily. They have taught me so much about life. My son helps me see life’s simple pleasures and to not take things for granted. He’s bright and shows me perseverance every single day. He also teaches me to not take life so seriously. That it’s ok to be silly. My daughter has taught me to continue learning. She has such a love and hunger of knowledge that it’s truly inspiring. She is smart and witty and such a joy. I also am high functioning on the spectrum, but the first thing that comes to mind when I think of the word Autism, is my beautiful children and how much meaning they bring to my life and the world! JC: How many children do you have? Are you married? MB: I have been married to my wonderful husband, Thomas Brain, for 12 1/2 years. I have a stepdaughter that turns 17 in March and lives primarily with her mother and stepfather in Kansas. We fly her down every 6-8 weeks. Thomas is an aerospace engineer and we have two children together. Both of our kiddos are on the autism spectrum. Our son, age 9, is moderate to severe and our daughter, age 7, is high functioning. JC: When did you start this Autism journey? MB: July of 2011 was when my son was officially diagnosed with Severe to Moderate Autism Spectrum Disorder and Speech Impairment. He was 2 1/2 years old
and my daughter was a baby. I suspected that he had autism when he was around 12 months old. He had always been delayed with gross motor skills, did repetitive hand motions near his face, lacked eye contact, was delayed with babbling and speech and would scream intensely for reasons we couldn’t comprehend at the time. Now we know it was sensory overload. With my daughter, she was delayed significantly with speech and would constantly line things up. I knew she had autism as well. Her sensory needs differed greatly from that of my son, but many things were eerily familiar. JC: What difficult challenges have you faced with the school district? MB: While in the Public School District, we had great experiences with PPCD with wonderful caring teachers, but we started seeing struggles once my son entered Kindergarten. There was a huge lack of consistency, for example, my son was in three different schools in three different years. The Special Education Program he was in (Structured Learning Lab) was “revamped” each year. Our son was frequently underestimated, for example, despite the fact thaet my son was reading by age 2, he was given the lowest level reader possible because he was unable to verbalize comprehension questions. He was bored with what he was being given. The teachers just weren’t reaching him. He’s an incredibly bright boy and needs to be challenged. We finally pulled him out and placed him in a Private School for students with Autism. Since he started 3rd grade in this new school in September, he has been happier and made more progress in months than all the years in public school. At the same time, my daughter has remained in public school and attends an Elementary STEM Program. She is thriving and learning so much. She loves school and has wonderful teachers that are giving her the support she needs to be successful. We couldn’t be happier with this placement for her. I am a firm believer in Educational Choice. My family is a testimony to how successful it can be. Each child is different and unique and is receiving a high quality education in the setting that best suits them. JC: If you could change one thing about the school district what would it be? MB: If I could change one thing about the school district it would be specific and continuing education for all teachers, staff, general education students and their families about autism. Many of the struggles we see could be resolved with this type of educational training. People are just naturally afraid of what they don’t understand. Providing specific training and education would provide preventive measures for many of the struggles autism families face within school districts.
Guest Speaker Joyce Morrison Mrs. Texas International 2019
Hosted by Nichole Wilson Autism Moms Are Beautiful
Guest Speaker Dymond Elise Hayes Ms. American Coed 2019
Come watch your Autism Moms and Dads put on a show!
nt e Ev od e o Fre ee F rizes Fr r P o o D
Autism Moms Are Beautiful
Ev RS 18 ent VP an bri d u te p!
Talent Show Mothers Day Tribute Special Guest Performances by:
Onney The CEO
Rhine McIntyre Miss Pre -Teen Lone Star State International
Gracie Kieffer Miss Pre Teen International 2019
AXELRAD 1517 ALABAMA ST. HOUSTON, TX 77004 SATURDAY, MAY 11, 2019 2ND FLOOR, 3PM.-5PM
Seth Keiffer
The Decaf Segment Let It Out Autism Moms
"He’ll eat when he’s hungry.” How many Autism Moms are tired of hearing this? This is how we really want to respond:
My child will eat what he wants and it’s none of your business! I'm sorry, are you speaking to me? Your method will place me in the poor house! You should mind your business and focus on your own child! What works for one child doesn't work for everyone’s child.
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www.amabeautiful.org
NW: What advice can you give other moms raising children on the spectrum? SI: I would advise all parents not to underestimate your child. Oftentimes, we get a bleak diagnosis from a doctor who tells us about all of the things that our child won't be able to do. Focus on what your child can do. It's hard work, frustrating, and challenging trying to help your child reach their maximum potential. Challenge your child. If one task is learned, move him/her on to another task. Celebrate little victories. The best is yet to come!
Makeup Artist: Camilia Wilson Photographer: Point and Click photography Styled by: Jeannette's Unique Boutique 5
My mind needs rest
Confessions of an Autism Mom Author: Autism Mom (anonymous) I am so tired of this life! The waiting list for help is driving me crazy! My family thinks that I am overreacting. They have no idea how it feels to have a child with Autism. My child wakes up two to three times each night. The school calls me weekly to come and pick my baby up. This means I have to leave work and I am so afraid that my boss is going to come into my office and fire me. This life is so hard and it seems that no one gets it!
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Ligaments, Tendons & Sensory Feedback Ever notice a child running, and it looks and sounds a bit clumsy with extra loud footfalls and jerky movements? My son runs like that. He has overly-elastic, loose joints. He is quite comfortable to contort his legs and knees, like the photo below. When he’s trying to relax. When he isn’t thinking about it. Naturally. He’ll choose this position all night in bed, watching a movie or reading a book. Perhaps it brings deep-pressure comfort. Now let’s move from knees to hands: Does your child show inner churning via their fingers? When my kiddo is stressed, he twists his long thin fingers like pretzels. Even when his face says he is having fun, his fingers say there’s sensory turmoil. I have always hoped this finger-twisting thing helped him with selfregulation and finding peace in his own skin. http://www.ifwelearndifferently.com/thepower-of-distal-phalangeals/ His joints are so lax, in a constant state of being stretched out. Long ago, one of our OTs explained why he will always have to work harder. http://www.ifwelearndifferently.com/fingerti ps-and-motor-planning/ Fingertips and Motor Planning. Here is an anatomy link to help explain it. https://www.healthline.com/human-bodymaps/knee-bones/male#1 3D model of the knee. This can happen to hands and fingers also. Phalanges are the 14 bones that make up the fingers. They can have lax connections.
A little physiology about joints: Tendons connect muscle to bone, and stretch more than ligaments do. When injured, it is called a strain. https://www.healthline.com/human-bodymaps/skeletal-system#diagram Ligaments connect bone to bone, and stretch less than tendons. Injuries are called sprains. Here is an interactive 3-D diagram to learn more about the skeletal system: https://www.healthline.com/ human-body-maps/skeletalsystem#diagram. Your child will have to work harder, apply more energy to movement, if they have such looseness in their joints. It will be harder to cut paper, grip a pencil and tie shoes. (At our house, I buy Velcro closure footwear). Someday I hope we tie shoes, but now it’s far more frustration than happy independence. Have you heard of midline crossover? We all have 3 midlines: 1. At the waist (top and bottom) 2. Front and back 3. Left and right. Making your child move arms and legs across these midlines strengthens brain connections (neural pathways). To help these neural pathways grow, my son participates as fully as possible with drumming at school and in the community. We continue to practice writing “beautifully”. If it is “ugly”, it’s not good enough, and it gets erased and redone. Our kids can build lots of strong little muscles by practicing getting dressed, manipulating shirts inside out and
backwards, managing buttons and zippers. These activities build and maintain muscle strength in the limbs. So, not only do motor planning challenges exist, but just getting the body parts moving requires more work, compared to someone without such joint laxity. You can help your child by cleverly making them move, play, and practice to keep the muscles toned and ready for life’s fine motor activities. Use it or lose it.
Gayle Y. Fisher, M.Ed., Ed.Tech. Improving the World of Learning Differences GettingSorted.com
Special thanks to Rosemary Slade, OTR, for her review.
www.autismspeaks.org
What’s in Your Safety Deposit Box?
Dr. April J. Libson Hey, my fabulous autism moms and dads. May I ask you a question? What’s in your safety deposit box? I’m sure many of you reading this question might be asking yourself, ‘why is Doc April concerned about what is in my bank account’? Others are probably ignoring the question and have decided to skip this first paragraph or possibly the entire article. Don’t. Hear me out for a minute. I promise you it will be worth you continuing to read on. Honestly, I’m asking you these questions as your minds and hearts are your safety deposit boxes and how you treat your emotions and feelings dictate your ability to embrace this autism journey. As many of you already know, being an autism mom or dad is no joke. You know what it is like to watch your child have a meltdown and not be able to immediately calm them down. You know what it is like to feel the aftermath of an aggressive episode and feel like you have failed your child. You have or will experience this along this journey and to say this is impossible is self-denial. Yet, you as an autism parent, must guard your heart and mind so that this autism journey doesn’t diminish who you are as a phenomenal person. Here are four keys to help you make a deposit in your SAFE on a regular bases. Stability. Stability is one key in feeling secure on this autism journey. As an autism parent, you may find yourself struggling to maintain harmony in your work, relationships, parenting, and who you are as an individual. This may create a space where you question if you have what it takes to ‘balance’ it all. Understand one thing —your goal is not to be perfect but to be consistent in how you care for yourself. Personal self-care keeps you grounded and ensures that you create a healthy space for yourself and others.
Acknowledge. Acknowledging the fact that you are perfectly imperfect is the second key on this journey as it protects your sanity. Yes, moms and dads I know this is hard for some of us. The idea of not being perfect is a tough pill to swallow as you give your all to support your child while leaving your own needs behind. Yet I have one question to ask you—how far has the need of perfectionism gotten you on this journey? I ask this in all sincerity as I too am that parent who wants to make sure that all of my children’s needs are met and that nothing is out of place. If it is, I then find myself running around like a wild woman trying to ‘fix it’ and make it perfect again. It took me years to realize that it’s okay if I’m not perfect. It’s more important that I am present and available for myself and my children. I had to come to a point where I had to acknowledge that I was damaging my family when I wasn’t taking care of myself. I’ve learned to celebrate my successes and my flaws knowing that I am being the best parent I know how to be. Find time. Finding time to celebrate who you are as a fantastic autism parent is the third key. Trust me I know that time is a hot commodity as an autism parent. With IEP meetings, therapies, meltdowns, and your daily routines, finding time for yourself is hard. Well moms and dads, make the time. You deserve this time. You’ve earned this time. You have to celebrate and remind yourself that you are showing up everyday to be the strength and foundation that your child needs in order to survive in this world. You must celebrate that even when things aren’t going as expected. You didn’t give up or throw in the towel (although mentally you may have quit). It takes a lot of guts to fight against your own emotions and feelings and say that you’ll never give up on your child or on this journey. You are a fantastic mom or dad and you deserve to be honored. Embrace. Embracing this journey at times can be hard. Yes, I said it. This autism journey is hard as it pulls both the good and the bad out of you. It is mentally, physically, emotionally, and for some, financially exhausting. To pretend that it’s not for the sake of others or to minimize its impact is unfair to who you are as a person. Yet even in the toughest moments when you feel like you are ready to jump in the car and run away, just know that in time it does get easier. It becomes easier as you learn to adjust to the highs and lows of parenting an autistic child. It becomes easier because you’ve learned how to ‘tune out’ the haters when they have something negative to say about your child. You’ve learned not to throw in the towel because you are aware that you may be the only 21
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2019 AMAB Â Award Ceremony