EMPIRE SELF-RAISING F LOUR
A
Rises Above all Others.
RECORD
The West AUSTRALIAN
PERTH, SATURDAY, APRIL 19,
1913
Humours of Parliamentary Life Commons Wit, Repartee, and Stor.) in the House of (BY .10SEPH HEIGHTON.)
Alverstone would probably conIt takes very little to tickle the Lordnow that he was completely
wines and this chilled meat provided at the recent banquet in support of Imperial Preference at Grosvenor House?" And it was in reference to this question that an M.P. addressed to Mr. King the folleek ing lines :The feast was dull, the dishes ccld, Each diner knew he had been sold; Meat that in ice had crossed the
"Were those
gave an answer, whereupon Mr. Tim Ilealy got up and put a supplementary question, "Would the right hon. gentleman kindly inform the House How manyAsses he has sent to
fess visibilities of our M.P.'s during a beaten. debate. A nervous member sitting on So the Welsh Language does not his hat, a partly -forgotten speech, a matter ? " South Africa" blunder in Parliamentary deportLet us ment, or an innovation in the way said 'Noithon." "Very well. Mention of asses reminds one of court of dress is sufficient to set members suppose We are in the county the Irish M.P. who once interrupted Attorgurgling with merriment. The House at Vnys-y-ehiengwyn, and the the oratory of an enemy of his counI am the was never more amused, for instance, ney -General is the judge. try by ejaculating "Ass !" " The a pair than when Mr. Winston Churchill had plaintiff, seeking payment for honourable member," came the lightline, the temerity to stroll down to the of hoots. The Attorney-General ifasks ning retort, "flatters me too much Australian flat by an do Washed the floor of the House, during an all- me if I am prepared to swear in claiming me as a kinsman." And wine, were slipof defendant the pair to a wearing delivered hoots night sitting, then there was the occasion when a a bill of fare th it sounds not Is the as otherwise, graceful or a and lefts, suit, rights and pers, a flannel scion of a noble house, defending his pounds. thousand a for value a Like being That neck. declares. defendant collar that overflowed his order, asked, "Is it not right that, will succumb Tories fear our hardcould I which delicate question, someone. in order to hand down to posterity " Pyjamas !" shouted martyrdom, such Imperial EngTo in answer to trust myself expense the virtues of those who have been vast "Take them off, Churchill!" yelled ly involving while Which, dau lish, sappsse l s mid '('ymmer, eminent for their services to the while even Nor. Lloyd another country, their descendants should enGeorge turned a reproving countenjoy the honours conferred on them as ance on the First Lord of the Ada reward for such services?" miralty, as the latter made prepar"By the same rule," chimed in the ations to fly, and exclaimed, " Oh, late Mr. Lahouchere, "if a Iran ie and pink of all colours!" hanged for his misdeeds, all his posThe House, too, is never slow to terity should he banged too." seize upon an unintentional personal More often than not it is Irish wit touch in a speech, a fact which Mr. Reginald McKenna may vouch for. that scores in the House 'of Commons, and many a time during an Two weeks after his marriage to exciting debate both Conservatives that charming and most successful of :Ind Liberals have been nonplussed political hostesses, Miss Pamela of repartee ready Use by Jekyll, in 19tH, he was " on the etlees from the Emerald Isle. There floor," arguing in favour of the Gowas one memorable occasion, howvernment's old -Age Pension scheme. "It is relatively cheaper for two ever, and it is recalled by George W. Smalley in "Anglo-American Memopersons living together than one," be declared. ries," when Irisl members were for the moment stricken dumb by the re"Yen ought to know, anyway," tort of a member who could not afcried the quick-witted Will Crooks terwards be identified. from tee Labour benchss. Mr. Chamberlain, while speaking on A Blush and a Smile illuminated the Home Rule question, said someMr, McKenna's countenance. thing regarding the late Duke of "Well, 1 hope it will he cheaper," Devonshire, whereupon a Nationalist he remarked quietly, and members member asked, broke into renewed guffaws, as they How long is it since the Duke of thought, perhaps, of their own sad Devonshire has been in Ireland?' disillusionment. :mel from across the floor same the And there was a smile on the face answer, like a flash of lightning, of the Chancellor of the Bxchequer, 'Not since his brother was murderand loud laughter from both sides of the House, when Mr. Teewelyn Wiled in Phoenix Park." liams, the worthy member for CarMr. Smelley considers this retort worthy to rank with Colonel Sander marthen, sought to excuse, a short drut eve in answer to a question by son's answer to a demand for hls reasons against Home Rule. " There the ntrquess of Tullibardine, the inare," answered the gallant colonel troduction on the much -abused insurance stamp of the daffodil in the promptly, "in this House sixty-nine good and sufficient reasons against place of the leek, :is emblematic of Home Rule, and there they sit." the Principality of Wales. Adroit in the use of the Welsh ton The House of Commons, however. cite, Mr. Llewelyn Williams suggestis never so amused as when a ed that "Cenin Peek,- or " Peter's Member is Betrayed, in his Enthusiasm, into a mixed Metaphor. leek," was the Welsh for daffodil, and "thought it was only through a Mr. Balfour, some time ago, spoke el:stranslation of the word by Shakeof "an empty theatre of unsympathespeare -or Bacon-or some other igtic auditors," while Lord Curzon recelever wit of the House of Commons. the HEALY, TIM ells vegestinking a that norant Saxon, marked that "though not out of the ASSES how many Sir table had become the national emthe Rt. Hon. gentleman inform tL'e House 'W wood, we have a good ship." blem in slice of a charming bloom." sent to South Africa ?" be S William Hart Dyke has told how Mr. the of Apropos of the language Lowther "had caught a big fish in To boom Colonial ',reference, Principality, there is nothing wlAch bivech, ee :stn I cl eavdd his net, and went to the top of the like rather sseakins, frankly -popular Is, deliehts "Mahon," the ever twich l en are istall b sich nay tree for it," while a financial Minisstrike. of hunger kind more A milder member for Ithonelde Valley, hat. (It i tech wol I. Vspvtty.' NON," assured the Commons that " the ter than to air his WsIsh in the House. sh sine ela on, ' "what would the Later, the secret was betrayed to steps of the Government should go He does not get many opportunities, hon. an I learns.! gentleman have re the writer of this article that the hand in hand with the interests of but when he does he invariably floors humeraus hard was Mr. D. T. Hol- the manufacturer." And it was in d t his opponent, as Lord Alverstone, es the ti :ce of the }ter etratien of mes M.I'. for Govan. the Lords that the Government was was who on one memorable occasion was the jo .e, na little speculation As an exa nple of caustic Parliathat "the constitutional warned his victim, will readily admit. Some rife as to the ithittly of the disciple mentary humour, the supplementary rights of the people were being tramin the a debate, was Tin: there ago bard irrepressible years questa n put by the of the late Sir Wilfrid Lawson, led upon by the mailed band of aucourse of which "Mahon" made a of the House, who wrote the follow- Healy to Mr. Brodrick snow, Viscount thority." speech in Welsh, or rather introduced ITo be continued.) ing linee, apropos of the dinner to Midletone, when the latter was actsome Welsh sentences by way of il- thousand -pound subscribers to the ing as War Secretary during the apthe was hard be lustration. The occasion Party funds, given a short time ago South African War, would $aasha Tea Rooms pointment of a judge for a Welsh by the Duke of Westminster. A few to heat. speaa not county court who could the banquet a number of after The Boers were winning battle afdays 362 WELLINGTON ST., PERTH. the native language. The Attorney - questions were esked in the House of ter battle, and there was much critithen ofGeneral, as Lord Alverstone C.RM regarding the capabilities of commons cencererning Meals at all hours. Grills a Ultimately some was, defended the appointment, arficers and leaders. of Colonial Wines importation The Speciality. of Mr. to Meat. question gaine that the incises ignorance the Chilled put member and Colonial NORA KEANE, MISS he horses Welsh was not a practical inconven many how to as King, M.P. for Brodrick Proprietress. It was an unlucky remark, When answered, Mr.rose and asked, .had dispatched to South Africa. He fence. 40mersst, for it brought up "Mahon," and North I
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