,e.,.
slegistered at the G.P.O. Perth,
Publisher! every Saturday.
for transmissfon by Post as a Newspaper. AISIIIIMIMIM....-.UVs.mrw.w..giaw Man
SATURDAY. SEPTEMBER\ IT, I909.
CONTRACTORS TO THE W.A. AND COMMONWEALTH GOVERNMENTS,
head Office : BarrackStreet, Perth. Factory, and Saddlers Ironmongery Department, Murrarst., Perth ,
First class groceries and flues dairy produce. None can excel. I keep a room specially fitted for butter, under my own supervision. and dive satisfaction every time.
Readers of the "Record " Give me a Trial.
COURT
HOTEL
BEAUFORT STREET.
PERTH.
CON O'IlltIEN. :laying secured the freehold of this old-stablislfed and well-known Hostelry, will he pleased to welcome all friends from the tier.'* chile on to the city.
" Not at all " replied the man, doctor. " What have you be domore money. he stole the Pig and reYour temperature is up to " As you seem ing ? :sold it, this time to Judge Pickens. smiling, winningly. who lived "down the road a piece." interested in the matter, I will tell danger -point Soon afterwards the two gentlemen you what happened. I chanced to be " And I feel worse than ever I did " My boy tells me you discharged met, and, upon. comparing notes, in here, and they built the Pavement before," murmured the patient, "anti him," said the late office boy's motk- suspected what had halipeued. They round me all through that rotten diet you or* * er. " You advertised for a strong cimfronted The old Uncle Mose. dered ! boy, and I certainly thought hs Was darkey cheerfully admitted his guilt. QUITE AN ACCIDENT. yes I told " Impossible wan strong enough." " Madam," he re- " Well," demanded Judge Pickins, mother, " Now Tommy," said his plied, he was too strong. He broke " what are 3 on going to do shout severely, " I see you've got a black quite distinctly to confine youreelf to such foods as would be taken by all the rules of the office and some it ? " eye again. Didn't I tell ;ou not to a three-year -old child." of the furniture in the two days he " Blessed of I know, Judge," re- light with other boys ? " " Well, and didn't I follow your was with us." accident, mamma," an " This was a hroad Uncle Mose with grin. plied * orders ? " groaned the patient. "Ra" T'se no lawyer. I reckon I'll have e%plained Tommy. During the past twenty-four ther CONUNDRUMS. t. let y o' two gen'men settle it be- " An accident hours 'doctor, I have consumed three accident ? is a good wife ? A bad we:m yo's What fourteen ends of burst PPle-esteS, * * " Oh, well, you see. I was, sitting matches. husband. numberless strips of pateron Johnnie Thomson, and I forgot to to parings, What tre.' is spelled I- two letters I DON'T THINK and four and twenty b00% I -V. He had fallen through the coal - hold his feet." hitt ans." it * Which is the hardest key to turn ? hole. spraiwd his uncle. and reALL SHE COULD FIND. A donkey. minitterl h Prisoner for 25 minotes. A LA FRANCAISE. Clara-I'll give you a conunlrum. He called for help in vain. It was A lady called her new servant. and A lady livin in Loudon Freosh told Why- is a man like ,,, carpet'? a qui:t street, and nobody was pather to 143 down to town to fetch engaged a, carpenter to do some walk Tom-I give it up. ronising. it. Meanwhile, the pain in- a few patterns of navy !Ate serge. She Clara-Well, he is no sooner down, creased, till the unfortunate wayThe servant set out and soon re- ':ior her at a stipulated price. turned, much to the astonishment of was surprised later to find that he than people walk all over him. farer almost fainted. * He opened his eyes to find an old her mistress, with a sailor in his charged more than the price agreed upon. When she attempted t 0 re!inifortr, remarking " Thti is all FOR LAWYERS TO SETTLE. gentleman regarding him. her monstralle with him, however, Mose, needinig money sold Uncle Dear me," said thp kind-hearted could find, ma'am.' English failed her, and she said :!
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