New To This
Prologue -
“Let’s say I did go.” He pursed his lips and crossed his arms, “Will you leave me alone after I do?”
His curly hair was matted to the side, courtesy of him having slept on the drive to the movies. His eyes looked tired as he conversed. Surely annoyed at her bringing this up for the third time that week.
“Will you go if I agree?”
“You can’t answer my question with a question ”
She sighed, releasing her hands from the wheel, “Fine ”
He paused, thinking for a moment before reaching for his phone through the crack of the seat
“So will you go?”
“Will you shut up?” He laughed and opened Instagram
“Are you looking at reels right now? We’re about to head into the theatre!” She snatched the phone from him and held it on the driver's side.
He didn’t seem to care.
“What’s it called?”
She smiled.
“Stop cheeking; I didn’t agree to anything!”
“What? Look, it’s called Thrive Church.”
“Thrive Church? You mean that building across from that restaurant ” He snapped his fingers, thinking, “Uuhhhh Pollo Tropical Yeah, Pollo Tropical ”
“Yup, that one ”
“And you’ll leave this topic alone after I go?”
“After?”
He rolled his eyes, “Yes, I’ll go.”
She laughed and grabbed his shoulders, obnoxiously shaking him, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
He let her shake him, “Alright, alright, damn. ”
“No cursing!” She scolded.
He smiled, “God says not to judge.”
She threw her arms up and unbuckled her seatbelt, “Oh, you can’t be serious.”
“Oh, I’m very serious ” He said as he snaked his hand around the back of her neck, pulling her to him
The kiss was far from tender, and she melted herself into the force of the kiss She pulled her arms around, feeling through his hair, and she heard him sigh in her ear
He pulled away, unbuckling his seatbelt before reaching over and fumbling with her pants buttons He kissed her neck and whispered, “How about we ditch the movie?”
She shuddered. And though her conviction burned inside of her, as it had for months. She allowed her resolve to break.
Break
Break
Until she was a broken seed, fallen from the tree.
2 WEEKS LATER
“I blocked her ” He said to the Pastor, “I had to ”
The Pastor nodded his head, listening They were seated in the pews after the service No one but them and the lingering camera crew were in the sanctuary
“Have you prayed about it?” He asked
He shook his head, stunned, “I no? I thought it was the obvious thing to do ”
“Without God, nothing is the obvious thing to do ”
“I get that, sir, but… I broke up with her because I’m walking with Christ now. I mean, she’s a distraction.”
The Pastor looked at his watch and flitted his eyes to the exit door, “So if you’re set, why consult me?”
“Because I want to make sure it’s the right thing. Like in your message, you said always lean toward what is right.”
The pastor leaned forward, setting his elbows on his knees, “What is right is your conviction. I can’t tell you what you should specifically do in your situation; only God can.” He gave him a pointed look, “Being a Christian means the full surrender to Jesus Christ I’m only a representative of the faith, I can’t tell you what’s right and wrong I can only repeat what the Word says is right and wrong That and steer you towards prayer ”
He looked at the Pastor, feeling the truth of his words Of course, he knew prayer was essential to this Christian faith, but Well, every time he got on his knees, he felt awkward and didn’t know if God or Jesus was even listening
“Listen, son, I remember that first day you were here You were tagging along with that girl of yours, and I was up on that stage, preaching the Gospel. Then, when I called for surrender? Well, I saw you fall to your knees with your arms up and tears steaming across your face. At that moment,” He paused, “I knew that God had touched you.”
He continued, “You’ve come a long way. It took faith to break up with that girl, as it will take faith to trust He is listening. Stay encouraged.”
He didn’t know how the Pastor knew to say that God is listening, but it touched his heart, curing whatever doubt he had, “Thank you.”
“Alright? Now you go enjoy your Sunday. Don’t forget to read your Word.”
The Pastor shook his hand, and they got up and walked together out of the church.
5 WEEKS LATER
“You broke up with me And then ignored me for weeks!”
Her blonde her swished and flipped with her passion, and he found himself distracted, “We were in sin I didn’t know what else to do ”
“I’m the one who even brought you to church!”
“And it changed my life!” He snapped, “God changed my life!”
“So what, you think you’re too good to have a girlfriend? Hang with your old friends? You think you’re such a saint now?”
‘’Look, I just wanted to apologize, alright? I didn’t respect you, I took advantage…It wasn’t right.”
“Give me a break. We all do it.”
He rolled his hand over his braided down hair, “You’re not helping this conversation.”
“You’re a bitch, that’s what you are.”
“Excuse me?’’
“You’re a bitch A coward who can’t admit you’re just like the rest of us We all make mistakes, it doesn’t mean we treat people like shit!”
He backed away, settling his eyes on anything but her, “Look, I don’t know what’s gotten into you You’re better than this; you used to never curse You need to let God heal whatever is festering up inside of you ”
“Don’t tell me what I need from God!”
He never spoke to her again after that conversation; He’d been freed.
3 MONTHS LATER.
He sat on his bed in the dark. He didn’t know what time it was…maybe 3 or 4 AM? He focused on the pounding in his stomach, the warm feeling rolling throughout.
He sat up and left the bed, turning on his light and grabbing the bible sitting on his bedside table.
He opened the book where his bookmark was perched.
Galatians
It was odd He’d avoided reading for weeks, but when he skimmed the words, it felt like home
Galatians 5:24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there
The revelation curled around him, dawning like the sun
Death the self, death to self Selfless
Why had following the Word been so hard for him?
Because you refuse to die, the sentence struck through his soul.
Conceptually, it made sense. It wasn’t about him at all, was it? His life was a gift, not a right.
From that day on, the Word had not been so hard to follow.
1 YEAR LATER.
He felt alone as chaos ensued around his family.
He cried out to God, but he heard no answer
“Why?” he cried one morning on his knees, “Why has this happened to her?”
His sister was dying, and the family seemed to crash in on itself
He flipped through the pages of his bible, frustrated He meditated and listened to podcasts, though he felt more alone
He listened to his Pastor
“Trust in God!” He said.
“Blessings are coming!” He said.
But nothing seemed to cure his brokenness, only heighten it.
Maybe. He thought, This is the price for our sin.
For he’d been the only one in his family who followed the Truth and believed in the Gospels.
And he continued to ponder that fact, over and over, until a root in his belly started to tingle.
One day, he saw his mother and sister sitting together in the living room, and he went to join them
They sat in silence before he jumped from the ledge, “Let me pray for you,” he said
“What?” His sister exclaimed, surprised
He linked hands with her before he could change his mind, and without thinking, she linked hers with their mom
There they sat, surrendered and pleading, as a family, before God
He prayed for her and prayed for them And though he stuttered and sounded unsure at times He prayed for their legacy and their impact. His sister couldn’t have known what he meant, but she squeezed his hand. It fueled him, and he prayed on.
When he said Amen and opened his eyes. He saw a tear fall on his sister's cheek, and at that moment, he wasn’t alone anymore.
He thanked the Lord every day. He thanked Him because of what He has done. He relished in His glory and sat in His presence. He felt no stronger desire but to spread His goodness to others.
And though they never spoke, he had her to thank For bringing him to church that day For changing his life
It’s been hard, and it continues to be he still has a lot to learn But he gives himself grace
You’re new to this He told himself
You’re ever growing
He wrote a book 2 YEARS later He titled it, ‘New to This.’
In it, he recounted his journey and his failures, hoping to bring more souls to Christ.