dealing with my
diagnosis a christian perspective on the world today
A thanks to the mums
In this issue May 2024 WHAT IN THE WORLD 04 THE MUM LOAD 06 A LEAF-CHANGING EXPERIENCE 12
HOW TO MEDIAPROOF YOUR KIDS
How to navigate the challenges of moderating your kids’ media PAGE 32
PSYCHEDELICS AND SECRET SOCIETIES: A CONVERSATION ABOUT DRUGS AND THE OCCULT 18 FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE: A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH 26 ASK PASTOR JESSE 40 ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE AND THE RISE OF THE USELESS CLASS 42 HEALTH NEWS FOR EVERYBODY 48
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DEALING WITH MY DIAGNOSIS: I HAVE SCHIZOPHRENIA 50 THREE TIMES THE WORLD NEARLY ENDED 56
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SUDOKU AND CROSSWORD PUZZLE 62
Whenever someone asks about my mum, the first words to leave my mouth are “she is amazing!” I truly believe I hit the jackpot. I hope you can express similar sentiments about your own mother. But if not, I hope you can think of someone in your life who has been like a mother, whom you feel deeply grateful for. A well-known Australian commercial for bread once highlighted the many roles mums take on. In the ad, an upbeat but slightly frazzled woman found herself being a counsellor when her children were upset, a doctor when they were hurt, a chef when they were hungry and a taxi driver when they needed to go somewhere. This juggling of roles is a reality that every mum takes on—often at the expense of her own goals, interests and even sanity (p 6). As I kid, I used to wonder why children never got a designated day, but I realised (admittedly, well into adulthood) that what most mums got once a year— breakfast upon waking, fun activities, things they didn’t pay for—had been my everyday norm since the day I was born. I’ve loved seeing my mum rediscover her joy for gardening and other creative things as my siblings and I have grown up. She has reignited passions that laid dormant for literally decades, and now spends much of her time outside, harvesting colourful produce and creating exciting new dishes to share with others. This Mother’s Day, let’s take the opportunity to acknowledge and seek out all that our mums have sacrificed. Maybe we can help them reignite a dream or lost love, even if only for a day.
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EXECUTIVE PUBLISHER Brad Kemp EDITOR Jarrod Stackelroth ASSOCIATE EDITOR Jesse Herford ASSISTANT EDITOR Zanita Fletcher COPYEDITOR Tracey Bridcutt GRAPHIC DESIGN Theodora Pau’u Talia Valderrama PHONE +61 2 9847 2222 EMAIL info@signsofthetimes.org.au WEBSITE signsofthetimes.org.au ADDRESS Adventist Media PO Box 1115, Wahroonga New South Wales 2076 SUBSCRIPTIONS Kelli Geelan PHONE +61 3 5965 6300 Australia/New Zealand, $A28/$NZ30; South Pacific countries, $A41; Other countries $A51 Published since 1886, Signs of the Times is printed 11 times a year by the Seventh-day Adventist Church and is registered as a periodical. Seventh-day Adventist Church (SPD) Limited ABN 59 093 117 689 NOTE The inclusion of a person or their image within does not imply their endorsement of the Seventh-day Adventist Church or its beliefs. Unless otherwise stated, Bible verses are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, Anglicised. Copyright © 1979, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc®. Used by permission of Hodder & Stoughton. All rights reserved worldwide.
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VOL 139 NO 4
ISSN 1038-9733
@SIGNSMAG
ZANITA FLETCHER Assistant Editor
COVER IMAGE: Kyle Head @kyleheadphotography
How to Love Your Mother
WHAT IN THE WORLD SURF’S UP, SAMOA SAMOA
Samoan villages Luatuanu’u and Faleatiu are popular destinations for travelling surfers, however only about 20 locals from these two villages surf, as many can’t swim or afford boards. Australian surfer Adam Kebash felt sad about this upon visiting and reached out to his community in Port Macquarie. He returned to the villages with boards, leg ropes and fins. “Everyone is stoked,” he said. “They take turns, get two waves and pass to the other boys waiting on the rocks.” —ABC News
CONSPIRACY BELIEFS DON’T CHANGE MUCH WITH TIME AUSTRALIA
BAKERY SELLS ROMANCE BREAD JAPAN
A bakery in Japan used technology to create five flavours of bread that capture the essences of love. Through artificial intelligence they analysed conversations from dating shows and lyrics from love songs. They identified five key feelings of romance: first encounter, first date, jealousy, heartbreak and mutual love. The bakery then transformed these feelings into various flavours of fluffy steamed bread. —CNN Travel 4
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CLINT PATTERSON, SINCERLY MEDIA—UNSPLASH, ERIC SEDDON, YAHYA BOUDI—PEXELS
It’s estimated that most people believe at least one conspiracy theory, but despite concerns about a “pandemic of misinformation”, the journey into (or out of) conspiracies seems to be a gradual slope for most. Researchers surveyed around 500 Australians and New Zealanders to determine whether people change their minds frequently or stick tenaciously to their beliefs, regardless of what evidence they come across. The studies found it takes a big event, crisis or change to someone’s life for them to consider something counter to what they already believed. —La Trobe University
VAPES FOR THE VULNERABLE NEW ZEALAND
Research shows that 88 per cent of vape stores are located within walking distance of a school and that vape store density is nearly seven times higher in socioeconomically disadvantaged areas. Public health experts say this alarming data reinforces the need for the Federal Government to push regulations to protect children and vulnerable people. —Journal of Public Health
Ever heard of love languages? It’s the idea that people give and receive love in different ways. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, said, “We tend to speak our own love language, to express love to others in a language that would make us feel loved. But if it is not his or her primary love language, it will not mean to them what it would mean to us.” This Mother’s Day, try to express your love by speaking your mother’s language. Acts of Service For these people, actions speak louder than words. Help your mum with some jobs, cook her a meal or buy her a voucher for ready-made meals or a cleaning service. Words of Affirmation If your mum is a words person, find a way to express your appreciation, your favourite memories or what you love most about her. This could be through a letter, a phone call or face-to-face. Quality Time If this is your mum’s love language, there’s nothing she wants more than your company. Go for a walk, sit down for a cuppa, take her out for the day or give her a call. The options are endless. Gifts It’s not hard to buy someone a gift these days. This year, challenge yourself to purchase or make something personal to your mum’s interests or needs. Physical Touch Giving your mother a tight hug on Mother’s Day is a good start, but if you want to go a step futher, offer a massage, a facial or an at-home spa experience.
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The mental load is a concept that has gained attention in the last little while. What if mental load had a baby? MELODY TAN
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TARYN ELLIOT—PEXELS
The Mum Load
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eed to buy new school socks. When do I have to cancel our car insurance by? Make a booking for the after-school activity this week. Are there enough vegetables for dinner tonight? Remember to pack library bag on Tuesday night. Check public access times for the ice-skating rink this weekend. These were just some of the random thoughts running through my head this morning as I stepped into my office, ready to start a new work week. As I looked at my work to-do list and calendar and as my work email inbox opened, the thoughts in my head got more cluttered as my work and personal life collided. So, just an ordinary week, really. The term “mental load” became hugely popular in 2017 when French comic artist Emma illustrated about it on her website.1 Yes, it is a feminist term but before you roll your eyes, thinking, Oh great, another woke article by a woke woman angry at the patriarchy, please hear me out. I am a feminist, but perhaps not in the way you think. I don’t believe men and women are the same, even though I believe they should be treated with equal respect. I don’t believe we need to put men down or that women should be the only ones in charge. I love men and I believe they have much to contribute to the world. I am married to a strong, kind and
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defining the mental load
Back to the mental load. For those unfamiliar with the term, it’s a concept that can be as difficult to grasp as it is to explain. From personal experience, those who understand what the mental load is are often the same people who are already carrying it. Those who don’t have mental loads can struggle to even accept that it is a thing. In her comic, Emma explains, “The mental load means always having to remember. It’s permanent and exhausting work. And it’s invisible.” Or as Eve Rodsky, an organisational manager and author of the book Fair Play, tells CNN, it’s “the behind-thescenes stuff that keeps a home and family running smoothly, although it’s hardly noticed and is rarely valued”.2 The problem, many proponents of the mental load say, is that while people around the person with the mental load may offer to help, the onus is still on that person to 8
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designate jobs and keep track of everything. And it is that act of keeping track of everything that can become all-consuming. Zachary Watson, a father and content creator from Massachusetts, puts it this way: “If your partner is often the one keeping track of all the things that need to get done, why can’t they get you more involved by just making a list? Now you’ve created another task for your partner to remember to do—and not one that often makes them feel like you two are a team.” It’s why CEOs of major corporations get paid the big bucks. It’s up to them to keep track of everything and ensure everything runs smoothly. They may not be writing lists for everybody, but just like a woman of a household, they are the ones who are in charge overall. So, women are like CEOs, except they don’t get paid and they already have another full-time job they need to show up for. The reason why the mental load has been deemed a feminist term is because research, studies and statistics have shown women generally bear a bigger mental load. “On average, females spent 4 hours and 31 minutes a day doing unpaid work activities. Males spent over an hour less on these activities. . . . Less than half of males (42 per cent) spent time on housework, compared to 70 per cent of females,” said Lisa Scanlon, director of Social Surveys and Statistic from the Australian Bureau of Statistics3 (ABS).
when mental load has a baby
In a typical heterosexual relationship, the woman is often the one keeping track of bills that need to be paid, birthday calls that need to be made, groceries that need to be bought, laundry that needs to be washed, holidays that need to be planned, service providers that need to be changed, and more. On top of performing her duties as a full-time paid employee. Then, when a woman becomes a mum, she doesn’t just physically have a baby, it’s as if her mental load has one as well. At least, that’s how I felt. Over the past few years, it’s started to dawn on me that while trying to manage my household and work 38 hours a week in an office, I’ve also managed to become a fulltime (unpaid) personal assistant to my son. When I think about my son, my heart is filled with so much love it
The mental load means always having to remember may just explode. Similarly, when I think about all the logistics, administration and duties in my life—our lives—my head is filled with so much “aaargh!” it may just explode as well. While I try to provide my son a certain level of independence and encourage in him a certain level of responsibility, the reality is that much of the organisation of his life still falls on an adult. He is seven years old, after all. He’s old enough to be responsible for his own homework, but still too young to make phone bookings for after-school MAY 2024 • SIGNS OF THE TIMES.ORG.AU
GUSTAVO FRING—PEXELS
loving man, and together we are raising a seven-year-old who we hope will grow up to be a strong, kind and loving man. This is not a male-bashing article. What I hope it will do is create more understanding, patience and cooperation between the genders. This is not about laying blame. This is simply recognising we are all different and finding ways we can support each other in our differences.
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taking ownership
About a year-and-a-half ago, I had what can only be described as a breakdown. I wasn’t completely incapacitated—but I came close. I was gradually losing drive to do anything and failed to keep track of most things that needed to be done at home. One evening, my husband and son came home after school to find it in complete darkness and me on the bedroom floor sobbing uncontrollably. It was the kind of loud, gasp-for-air kind of ugly cry. I had been in tears for an hour before they came home and I continued for probably another hour after they found me. I fell asleep eventually and didn’t see either of them until the next day. I had reached tipping point but at that time, I didn’t recognise it and I certainly never saw it coming. The mental mum-load wasn’t the only thing that was happening in my life at that time, but it definitely played a part in my collapse. I mention what happened not because I’m trying to highlight the sacrifice mums are making and the suffering they’re undergoing. I talk about my breakdown in the hopes 10
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that any woman reading this won’t have to go down the path that I did. While proponents of the mental load often lay blame on male partners for not understanding or taking on their share of the mental load, I do wonder if part of the problem lies within ourselves. On my part at least, I now recognise I was taking on too much—voluntarily. When I retreated from the world and all responsibilities less than two years ago, my family didn’t stop functioning. Healthy dinners appeared every evening. Groceries were bought. Lunchboxes and library bags were packed. Laundry was done. Turns out it wasn’t because my husband was incapable of doing household life admin, I simply hadn’t given him the opportunity to. My husband and I had a good talk when I started making tentative steps to emerge out of my shell after my “episode”. It was a conversation that needed to happen a long time ago, and one I feel all couples need to have, hopefully without a mental breakdown as a precursor. We talked about the stresses I had in my life. I told him about the mental load I felt I was carrying. He listened. He asked questions. And he reminded me how he wanted to be an equal partner and that I didn’t need to feel like I had to do everything. “Taking ownership of a task from start to finish is often more helpful than doing a part of every task,” Rodsky told CNN. “Owning includes not just responding to ‘how can I
help?’ but also the cognitive and emotional labour that each task requires—the forethought, the planning, the remembering when, where and how to get the job done—and without excessive oversight or input from the other partner.” My husband needed to see and understand all the things I did to ensure the household ran smoothly. At the same time, I needed to trust my husband was capable of doing those things, even if it may not happen when I would like it to. Just as making sure the car has enough fuel or when it gets serviced has never been on my mental load, there are other things I can easily relinquish too. “System implementation takes some time, so don’t expect your partner to start owning your share of the workload overnight,” Rodsky pointed out. “Start by renegotiating one household or childcare task. Just one can totally change the game.” These days, I’ve learned to take things a little slower. On my hus-
band’s part, he’s learned to take things a little faster. Everything else . . . if it doesn’t get done, either somebody will miss it enough to do it, or it can’t be important enough that it needed to be done. Melody Tan is a freelance writer, content creator and editor. She is currently the project leader of Mums At The Table, a multimedia initiative aimed at supporting mums in their parenting journey, through education and community. She and her husband live in Sydney, Australia, with their sevenyear-old son. 1. <english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/> 2. <edition.cnn.com/2023/11/13/health/mental-load-sharingtasks-wellness/> 3. <abs.gov.au/media-centre/media-releases/females-domore-unpaid-work-males-do-more-paid-work/>
FREEPIK.COM
activities or purchase school socks online (I’m not handing him my credit card details). “Mothers spent an average of 3 hours and 34 minutes participating in childcare activities a day, while fathers spent 2 hours and 19 minutes,” Scanlon said in the same ABS report.
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a Leaf-Changing Experience KUNTAL BISWAS—PEXELS
We love to grow our health, wealth and wellbeing. But what about our spirituality? KYMBERLEY MCMURRAY
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watching something bloom in our care. Whether that be relational, professional, mental or even physical growth. Often, we focus so much on growing in these aspects of our lives that we forget about our spiritual growth. Yet when we focus on growing spiritually, many of those other aspects grow as well.
nursery rhymes
Imagine that this world is a nursery and that we are all plants. It is our relationship with others, our family, friends and co-workers, among other things, that makes us grow. Each relationship begins as a seed and as you get to know each other, your relationship strengthens. Sometimes you even start to pick up each other’s quirks. With the right care, you will find yourself growing with that person into beautiful plants. This is exactly how a relationship with God works. The more we spend time with Him, the more we mirror His character and become like Him. I can imagine that as we become closer to God, He must also feel a sense of achievement as He sees us flourish under His care. Some of you may have
We all want to experience growth, to have the satisfaction of watching something bloom in our care
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just started (or have thought about starting) journeying with God and are like little seedlings almost ready to burst out of the ground. Others have been on that path with God for a little while and are beginning to bloom. It’s important to remember that it doesn’t matter where you are compared to others. Spiritual growth is a personal journey and will look different for each of us.
watering the ground
What does it mean to grow spiritually? I believe spiritual growth means to become more like Jesus.
When we plant a seed, we don’t just bury it in the ground and walk away, expecting it to grow by itself. We must take the time to water our seed so it can get the essential nutrients it needs to grow into a healthy plant. When we take the time to learn more about Jesus through prayer and reading the Bible, we receive the nutrients we need to grow spiritually. Growth starts with us recognising our need for change—not just a change of scenery but life transformation. For example, Jesus can enable us to see ourselves with new eyes. We might start to pick up on
YAROSLAV SHURAEV—PEXELS
I
have always admired people who know how to take care of plants. I remember that as a young girl, my mum bought me a cactus after I begged her to buy me a plant of my own. There was something fascinating about the idea of growing something, putting time and energy into loving it, watering it and watching it flourish. How hard could it be? I said to myself. After all, cacti were supposed to be the easiest plants to take care of. Unfortunately, my hopes of keeping this cactus alive were soon shattered as I had left it on the windowsill for several months without watering it. Unsurprisingly, it shrivelled up and died. I remember being sad, but my mum wasn’t shocked. I had, after all, neglected to water it, fertilise it or move it into the sun when needed. Now as I sit in my office, I have several beautiful (but fake) plants decorating my space. While they look amazing on the outside, I know deep down that there is nothing that can replace the sense of achievement of having a real plant that is flourishing in your care. We all want to experience growth, to have the satisfaction of
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fertilisation and sunlight to grow but I would like to suggest several key elements that we need in order to create the right environment for us to grow on our spiritual journey.
prayer (Colossians 4:2)
Just as our human relationships can’t survive without communication, neither can our relationship with God. Prayer is the best way to speak to God. When we focus on the good things that Jesus has done for us in answer to prayer, we will find ourselves able to trust Him with our decisions, knowing that He will take care of us.
meditating on the Bible (Psalm 119:105-107)
our relationship with both Him and them (Hebrews 10:24,25). How do we know if we are growing in the right direction? God’s presence will manifest in our lives by the way we treat others with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22,23). As we bloom, others will stop to look at us and when they see God’s beautiful character reflected in our leaves, they will have a better understanding of who He is and how He can work in their lives. Growth in Jesus doesn’t end there. God is the ultimate gardener and He is constantly working in our lives, pruning back the branches, cutting the dead leaves and shaping us to be more like Him. The more we strengthen our relationship with God, the closer we become in resembling His character. Are you ready to grow? If you want to experience the transforming power of God in your life, I want to encourage you to take “a leaf of faith” and be open to Jesus’ invitation to “come and see” (John 1:39).
True growth is a gradual process
The Bible is the ultimate guide for us when navigating this life. Reading it and dwelling on what it says is a great way to learn the story of Jesus and gain a better understanding of who He is and how He wants to transform our life.
community (Hebrews 10:23-25)
Another important aspect of your spiritual journey is putting yourself in the right environment to grow. Jesus put His faith in action through service and ministry. We can strengthen our relationship with Jesus as we spend time with other people who believe in Him. This will strengthen
Kymberley McMurray is the communications officer for the Seventh-day Adventist Church in Australia. She writes from Melbourne. If you’d like to ask any further questions, or connect with a local church, email info@signsofthetimes.org. au or visit <signsofthetimes.org.au/help>.
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NEG—UNSPLASH
parts of our behaviour, lifestyle or even thoughts that need changing for the better. Jesus was the ultimate example of what it means to be a human—just as humans were originally designed to be. He lived a perfect life, despite facing the same challenges that we face and His life was lived in constant connection with God, His Father— showing us the importance of doing the same. This is why we must also look to God (1 Peter 2:21) to help us live as a new person, different to how we are used to. During the winter, it is common for plants to shed their leaves. This means they spend less energy, conserve moisture and allow harsh winds to blow through their branches—putting less strain on the plant. The process of shedding leaves is beneficial and allows room for new leaves to grow. In the same way, when we seek God, we also start to shed our old habits, values and lifestyle to make room for a life that models His (John 15:5-8). True growth is a gradual process and as we accept our need for God, our lives may not change right away—but don’t be discouraged! It’s important to focus on the fact that we are always in the process of spiritual growth and though at times we don’t get it right, God doesn’t stop loving us. All we need to do is admit our mistakes, and we will be forgiven (1 John 1:9). Even our missteps and shortcomings can become opportunities for growth. Plants need water,
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