Hi, I’m Tim and this is my little dog, Flea.
We’re inseparable! We do all sorts of things together.
You might spot us giggling, playing hide-and-seek, or jumping around on the grass like frogs. Hop! Hop!
I’m sure our friendship will last forever!
. . .
And I used to think the same about Mom and Dad too!
I’m sure they’ll love me forever—I’m their greatest treasure! But one day a weird, strange, hairless, bawling, little pink dumpling decided to show up and break into Mom and Dad’s hearts.
Zzzz . . .
Zzzz . . .
What about me riding on Dad’s shoulders?
What about Mom cuddling me when I wake up?
I’d like to shout out loud: “Mom and Dad’s hearts are MINE!”
GRRR . . . I’m clenching my fists! ARRRGH, my tummy is aching!
What about those hugs, all together in bed?
So, I thought of a plan!
I tried changing the stroller into a rocket so that as soon as the little dumpling falls asleep . . . BOOOM, I can send it into outer space! Flea, do you think it’s going to work?
I tried going to the zoo and asking one of the storks to take it back and put it on a cloud. But they didn’t stop to listen! ?
I tried building a special safe and putting Mom and Dad’s hearts inside so the little dumpling won’t steal them!
I tried inventing a super lullaby to send the little dumpling to sleep in no time so that Mom can still tell me my favorite story!
I tried changing the dumpling’s diaper faster than Dad so he’ll be free to play with me!
Zzzz!!!
I tried everything!
Ask the storks.
The stroller.rocket
The super lullaby.
The special safe. The diaper race.
But one day I saw that weird, crying dumpling look at me and smile for the first time!
JUST AT ME! I felt special.
And from that moment on, the dumpling officially found a place in my heart.
You know, Flea,
it’s
not so bad being a big brother after all!
Do you have a little brother or sister to protect and play with too?
ADVICE FROM THE THERAPIST
When a new little brother or sister arrives, your firstborn can react with jealousy. How should you behave? First of all, do not make the mistake of thinking that your child is protesting because they simply perceive they no longer “own the place.” Your children are actually facing a strong, primal fear: that of losing the love of their parents, which for them is the most precious thing.
Here are a few suggestions for finding daily strategies to reinforce your child’s confidence in Mom and Dad’s love.
1
TELL THEM IN ADVANCE:
As soon as Mom finds out she is pregnant, start to introduce the firstborn to the idea that another child is coming. Have them tell stories or sing songs to the unborn child while they stroke the belly to feel the baby moving. Thus, a connection is created between the siblings. The newborn will remember voices!
ACCEPT:
2
Let your child be free to express their jealousy through behaviors typical of their age, without judging or belittling their feelings. Help them understand their fear of losing Mom and Dad’s love and show them you are there with them, even when their fear is disguised by anger.
3
BUILD:
The arrival of the newborn requires everyone to change their routine and adapt to the new situation, in which everything revolves around the baby’s needs. Prepare a photo album for your firstborn to relive all their significant moments, starting from birth, to prove that they had been looked after, too, and had the same needs as the new baby.
INVOLVE:
Just as it may have been difficult for you to abandon your individual identity and embrace being a parent, it may be hard for your older child to assume a new identity as a big brother or sister. You can help them in this process by involving them in caring for the baby and by appreciating their efforts and commitment.
REASSURE:
4 5
Let your child know that you are thinking of them and will always be there as they grow. At least once a week, carve out a few hours for them only. This way you will once again be able to do the wonderful things you’ve done together. This will also enable you to concentrate on them and not lose sight of their needs.
