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A tribute to fathers

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Fathers: Makers of our Lives

When Matru Vandana was held in Birmingham, we were posed with a question. If Matru Vandana is being organised, why not Pitru Vandana? True. Men and women have to be held equal in today's world. If we remember our mother's loving lap, why not the person who held us by our fingers and taught us how to walk? Our culture teaches us both, 'Matru Devo Bhava' and 'Pitru Devo Bhava'. The giver of life, and the reason behind our existence, our mother and father are our stepping stones into this world.

Vinobha Bhave wrote, “After being born, a person has the luxury of selecting anything they want. However, choosing one's own parents isn't in anybody's hands. Blood relationship is eternal.” Without fathers, mothers wouldn't exist either. We have often heard the lines 'Janani ni jod sakhi nahi maley re lol'. It is from a famous poem written by Poet Damodardas Khushaldas Botadkar. There are no poems similar to this one, on fathers. While there is no dearth of poems and essays speaking of the eternal love and warmth provided by mothers. Fathers can consider themselves lucky if they find anything written about them at all.

Truthfully, in a child's life, the father holds a much more essential role than the mothers. Yes, the statement will find many in disagreement. Mother is the heart, while father, is the mind. During the birth of an offspring, the man starts a new life as a father. The child has the entire life, while the father has experience from the past life. If the mother brings warmth to a home, the father brings experience. There is this story on how a father teaches his kid to jump, and the little one, in the unwavering belief that his father would be there to catch them, takes the plunge. However, the father does not. He instead, looking at the crying child, says, “Never trust your own father in this life”. Such a lesson can only be taught by an experienced father.

Fathers teach us to live with patience and rules. It isn't that fathers don't worry about their children, but when life's lessons are to be taught, it is a father who can be tough when necessary. Every child has rode on their father's back as a kid. A coconut perfectly resembles fathers. Strong and tough on the outside, deep and filled with the sweetness of water on the inside. We rarely understand their softness, and even when we do, we ignore them.

During the birth of a child, everyone empathises with the mother. However, a father's restless walking down the hospital lobby and his anxiety is often looked past. Caring, nourishing, taking daily care of the children, mothers are instinctively everybody's favourite. A father, who lives for his family, providing stability, security, facing adverse situations with a

strong face, seldom receives such endearing gratitude. As children grow, so does the importance of their mothers in their lives. She will look after them, feed them, and pamper them. Father, meanwhile, is constantly worrying about their future. Earning for them, providing them with a house, accumulating wealth and property for their future reliability. Many father figures leave behind a legacy of fortunes for their children, while others leave behind dreams.

Relations differ with generations, it is true. A young son might not understand his father's affection because while the latter created from zero, the son who gets everything laid out for him, begins from one hundred. When children buy perfume, it usually comes with the smell of the sweat shed by their fathers. It is not until they become fathers themselves, do the children learn the fact.

Current times are different. Both parents earn, and both save for the children. Both equally contribute towards the child's future. A mother's lap, and a father's shoulder, will always remain a child's biggest blessing.

The bond between a man and his daughter is special. Their relationship is often gentle, and delicate, filled with warmth while the relationship between a son and his father evolves into a straight and traditional, gradually turning into a likely friendship.

As the head of the family, fathers deal with more responsibilities than others, including discipline, fulfilling everybody's needs, and securing everyone's future. A child will always see his father as a steady and reliable wall of trust. After all, 'My Daddy is the strongest'. Fathers need to make sure their child is not influenced by bad thoughts, and maintains the pride of the family. A father's work is to construct, a better future, a secure life and for this he would need a chisel and hammer.

A mother takes care of her duties, a father takes care of his. This is how the society moves forward. Children taking care of their mother and father, that is our Indian culture.

The unique venture of Matru Vandana was organised and encouraged by Team ABPL, and I am glad. In answer to the question asked during the event, a lovely Pitru Vandana programme along with a special magazine has been arranged. I am grateful to all those who contributed in various ways to our initiative.

Om Namah Shivaay

CB Patel Publisher/Editor

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My Bapuji, My Teacher

- CB Patel

My father, who I called 'Bapuji', Babubhai Manibhai Patel, was born in 1909 to an affluent Patidar family in Bhadran village, Kheda. Never the kind to back down from challenges, he gave a lot of importance to philosophy and hard work. His virtues have often taught me a lot in my life. Religious teachings instilled by his parents from an early age, turned him into a staunch worshipper of Mahadev since childhood. A devotee of Lord Shiva, he was also known to be a good orator and a nationalist filled with unconditional love for his country. It was he, who taught me that 'Gyanyagya Ae J Sevayagya'- Sharing of knowledge is a social cause, a mantra that I continue to follow today.

He was humble and self-sacrificing. Bapuji would never stay sad or destitute; never even believed himself to be that way. He would say, “I am a Charotari Patidar, I will move forward with my own efforts. One should never sit back and wonder whether they would reach their destiny.” Along with himself and his family, he would also always reflect upon the development of the village and keep himself engaged for the same. His versatile talents, and distinguished personality always made sure he was at the helm of social and religious work.

All these qualities were visible in 1945, when a 'Saptadivas' 11 kundiy Atirudra yagya was organised. The entire yagya cost Rs 2,45,000, a big amount back in those days. Due to a lack of sufficient funds from cosponsorers and support from people, the entire responsibility of paying the costs fell on my father's shoulders, which, he took up with remarkable dignity, and zero complaints.

He sold his properties, jewellery, car, and water pump, amongst other things, paid off the costs of the yagya and became poverty-stricken overnight. He worked hard to pay the debts of a religious programme organised in public interest.

People comprehend the importance of the environment today. However, Indian culture has for ages worshipped trees as gods. Trees, plants and greenery

held a unique place in my father's life. People used to jokingly call him a walking laboratory. He would study trees, plants, creepers, make herbal medicines and hold lengthy discussions with pharmacists and Hindu monks. Not only that, he would also write down all vital information in his notebooks. Bapuji would share his knowledge in medicines with people, and when needed, would make some for others as well. This was his benevolence.

During the 'Atirudra yagya' held in the village, my father announced that he would take up the life of a sanyaasi at the age of 50. On May 12, 1960, when I was leaving Vadodara for Africa, Bapuji came to see me off, and reminded me that he will take up an ascetic life when he turns 50. I did not take him seriously back then. Even though all of us often felt there was something that distinguished him from the worldly life, the thought that he will take up the life of a sanyaasi never even came to us. I held unwavering faith in him. As his eldest son, he asked me to take care of the family and other relations in his absence. I would like to believe that I have dutifully fulfilled that to a large extent.

Gandhiji left a major impression on my father's thoughts. He never believed in the norms of untouchability. As a Charotari Patel, Bapuji was bold, truthful, and unbending in his opinions. His opposition against lies, injustice, and greed was well-known. He had a unique ability of making others understand his views and accepting them. This was just one of many virtues attributed to him.

Bapuji did a parikrama around Narmada river in three years, from 1953 to 1956. He walked approximately 3550 kilometres along the holy river in three years, 3 months, and 13 days. In the duration, he met and befriended several saints, which gave him inspiration and he took sanyaas in 1960. He based himself as a sanyaasi in a place of pilgrimage in Karnali. Bapuji recieved a lot of respect, people called him 'Guruji'. Be it Bhadran or Karnali, 'Guruji' found a special place in people's hearts. Even today, several elders fondly remember him. Bapuji stays immortal in many people's wishes.

Kamalabaa, Babubhai, son Vishnu and boy Chandrakant (CB) at Mahakaleshwar Mahadev, Bhadran on 6th December, 1945.

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Beta Hamara Aisa Kaam Karega

Magar Yeh To Koi Na Jaane

Ki Meri Manzil Hai Kahan

Papa Kehte Hain Bada Naam Karega

Beta Hamara Aisa Kaam Karega

Magar Yeh To Koi Na Jaane

Ki Meri Manzil Hai Kahan

Papa Kehte Hain Bada Naam Karega

Baithe Hain Milke Sab Yaar Apne

Sabke Dilon Mein Armaan Yeh Hai

Baithe Hain Milke Sab Yaar Apne

Sabke Dilon Mein Armaan Yeh Hai

Wo Zindagi Mein Kal Kya Banega

Har Ek Nazar Ka Sapna Yeh Hai

Koi Engineer Ka Kaam Karega

Business Mein Koi Apna Naam Karega

Magar Yeh To Koi Na Jaane

Ki Meri Manzil Hai Kahan

Papa Kehte Hain Bada Naam Karega

Mera To Sapna Hai Ek Chehra

Dekhe Jo Usko Jhoome Bahar

Mera To Sapna Hai Ek Chehra

Dekhe Jo Usko Jhoome Bahar

Gaalon Mein Khilti Kaliyon Ka Mausam

Aankhon Mein Jaadu Honthon Mein Pyaar

Banda Ye Khoobsurat Kaam Karega

Dil Ki Duniya Mein Apna Naam Karega

Meri Nazar Se Dekho To Yaaron

Ki Meri Manzil Hai Kahan

Papa Kehte Hain Bada Naam Karega Papa

Jab tak raha sath jana na maine

Papa ke bin zindagi hogi kaisi

Socha tha masti bhara hoga

Mera har pal

Baate na sunni padegi kisi ki

Hai ab ye aalam, unka kaha hum

Imaa samajh ke nibhate hai

Papa bahut yaad aate hai, aate hai

Papa bahut yaad aate hai

Ungli pakad jinki chalna main sikha

Palta raha jinke saaye me pal pal

Ab tak hai mujhme khushbu unhi ki

Aankho se meri wo beshak hai ojhal

Aisa lage hai, wo aawaz deke

Baaho me apni bulate hai

Papa bahut yaad aate hai, aate hai

Papa bahut yaad aate hai

Suraj Kahu Ya Chanda

Mm mm mm mm mm.........

(Tujhe suraj kahu ya chanda, tujhe dip kahu ya tara

Meraa nam karega roshan, jag me meraa raj dulara) - (2)

Mai kab se taras raha tha, mere aangan me koyee khele

Nanhee see hansee ke badle, meree saree duniya le le

Tere sang jhul raha hai, meree baho me jag sara