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SOUTH DARTMOUTH $1,595,000
Rare opportunity! Four-bedroom modern colonial surrounded by 28 acres of woods, wetlands, fields, with stunning pond and an inground pool, large heated garage and a chicken coop!
Contact Roberta Burke 508 498 3285 or Liza Danforth 339.203.5710
SOUTH DARTMOUTH
Charming five-bedroom home in the very heart of Padanaram Village with pool, pool house and two-car garage Just a short stroll to the Village shops, restaurants and NBYC.
Contact Nina Weeks 617.957.8769
AT THE LONG ARC OF A CENTURY:
AMERICA AT A CROSSROADS
One hundred years is a valuable unit of measure. It is long enough to blur the passions of any single moment, yet short enough to trace patterns that repeat with unsettling familiarity. When viewed from that distance, the United States appears less like a nation lurching from crisis to crisis and more like an ongoing experiment, periodically destabilized by its own success, then forced—sometimes reluctantly—into renewal.
The past century was defined by extraordinary expansion. Economically, politically, militarily, and culturally, the United States emerged from the 20th century as an outlier in history: a continental democracy with global reach. That achievement created immense benefits, but it also seeded the tensions now defining the present. The question facing the country today is not whether it has flaws—that has always been true—but whether it can correct course before those flaws harden into something irreversible.
MARKETS: ABUNDANCE, FRAGILITY, AND AMNESIA
Financial markets tell one version of the story. Over the last century, American capitalism generated unparalleled wealth, lifted hundreds of millions globally out of poverty, and financed innovation at a scale previously unimaginable. Yet markets also reveal a recurring pattern of excess followed by correction. Each generation seems to believe it has finally outgrown risk, only to rediscover—often painfully—that leverage, speculation, and moral hazard remain stubborn constants.
In recent decades, financialization has increasingly overshadowed productive investment. Asset prices rose faster than wages; complexity outpaced accountability. The system rewarded short-term gains while socializing long-term risks. The result was not accidental—it was the result of policy choices, cultural incentives, and a belief that markets, left largely to themselves, would self-correct without serious consequence.
History suggests otherwise. When capital detaches from the real economy for too long, trust erodes. And when trust erodes, legitimacy follows. The danger was not merely economic instability, but a growing perception that the system served abstraction over people. Left unchecked, that trajectory would have hollowed out the very middle that sustained the American social contract.
A longer view offers some hope. Markets, when disciplined by transparency and aligned with long-term value creation, remain powerful tools. Rebalancing incentives toward productivity, resilience, and shared growth is not radical—it is a return to principles that once made the system durable.
GLOBAL POLITICS: POWER AND MIGHT
Internationally, the United States is confronting the end of a unique moment. The post–World War II order, shaped mainly by American leadership, assumed that economic integration and liberal norms would gradually converge across nations. For a time, that assumption seemed plausible. Today, it is clearly incomplete.
Rival powers have learned to exploit openness without fully embracing its constraints. Alliances strain under asymmetrical burdens. Conflicts are less likely to be total wars than persistent,
destabilizing contests—economic, informational, and technological. The expectation that history had reached a stable endpoint has faded.
Yet decline is not the same as adjustment. A more grounded foreign policy—one that balances ideals with realism, and ambition with limits—may prove more sustainable than the maximalism of recent decades.
Leadership need not mean omnipresence. It can mean credibility, consistency, and the capacity to distinguish core interests from peripheral ones.
From a century-long perspective, restraint is not weakness. It is often the prerequisite for endurance.
INTERNAL STRIFE:
FEDERALISM UNDER STRESS
Perhaps the most visible tension today lies within the country itself. The constitutional balance between federal authority and state power was designed to accommodate disagreement. Friction was a feature, not a bug. What is new is the intensity and frequency with which states now attempt to nullify, circumvent, or directly challenge federal governance—not merely on policy details, but on legitimacy itself.
Over the next century, the United States will not be judged by whether it avoided all mistakes, but by if it learned from recurring ones.
THE RISK OF THE PATH BEHIND US
There is an uncomfortable but necessary conclusion that emerges from looking backward: the direction the country had been heading— characterized by unchecked financial excess, perpetual global overextension, and internal fragmentation—was not sustainable. Over time, it would have led to a form of destruction less dramatic than collapse, but no less real: institutional decay, civic exhaustion, and the quiet abandonment of the principles that made the United States exceptional in the first place.
Acknowledging that reality is not unpatriotic. It is, in fact, an act of preservation.
WHAT A LONG VIEW MAKES POSSIBLE
The benefit of a long-term perspective is that it clarifies trade-offs. It reminds us that stability is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to absorb it without disintegration. It reframes reform not as rupture, but as maintenance.
This dynamic reflects a deeper breakdown in shared reality. When national institutions are no longer trusted to act in good faith, decentralization becomes a form of protest rather than governance. States test the system not because federalism demands it, but because confidence has collapsed.
Left to escalate, this pattern risks something far worse than policy gridlock. It erodes the idea that disagreements can be resolved within a common framework. That is how experiments fail—not suddenly, but through accumulated disbelief.
And yet, the very fact that these struggles occur through courts, legislatures, and elections—not armies—matters. The stress test is severe, but the structure still holds.
5THOUGHTS FROM THE C-SUITE
Living History. A hundred years of extraordinary expansion, economically, politically, militarily, and culturally, now repeating a remarkable return to growth and opportunity
Over the next century, the United States will not be judged by whether it avoided all mistakes, but by if it learned from recurring ones. Reinvesting in institutions, recalibrating markets toward real value, practicing strategic humility abroad, and restoring a shared sense of civic purpose are not ideological goals—they are practical necessities.
The grand experiment was never about perfection. It was about whether a diverse, contentious society could govern itself over time. That question remains open. The fact that it is still being asked may be the most substantial evidence that the answer, while uncertain, is not yet known.
In the end, nations rarely fail because they change course. They fail because they refuse to. H
14 IMPRESSIONS
Play Ball! A view of what life looks like from an older perspective, served with a mind of youthful memories.
18
LOVE
Relationships—Illusion, Enticement, Journey, and Reality; Where Do You Fit Into The Spectrum? Love, intimacy, and relationships aren’t easily navigated. As time goes on, they will further confuse and create misunderstandings about what is expected of a partner. In the hope of finding clarity, we delve into the perception that encompasses our longing for closeness and longevity—that’s if it can be found.
28
CAPITAL
Investing In The Future; Don’t Regret Missed Opportunities! The economic revolution is here and available to everyone. But many will choose to ignore the opportunity to build financial security for themselves and their families. The result? Anger, resentment, and protests against those with motivation. Perhaps it’s time to stop living in the moment and plan for the future.
30
LIVING WELL
The Scientific Facts Surrounding A Broken Heart. It’s true and sad that people are dying from the pain of loss. We look at what might help avoid the pain and negative outcomes of loss.
34 FASHION
Dress to Flex. Personal presentation is not to be taken lightly, even though a segment of the population has revolted and disregarded all efforts to adhere to suitable standards of dressing. Lacking a focus on location, occasion, or the importance of looking appropriate, the separation of the unsightly from the well-heeled is dramatic and often reflective of behavior. Take a look at a few of the reasons the new trend is to look your best, not for anyone else, but for your benefit.
42
ENVIRONMENT
Hot & Cold. The Newport Mansions have long been mindful of the climate and, like all of us, are concerned about the cost of utilities for heating and cooling homes and businesses. Currently underway is a project that will help in two ways: reduce energy costs while decreasing its carbon footprint. Learn the basics of how geothermal systems work.
46
CULTURE
44
TABLE
The Best of The Best In Creative Cooking & Serving. It’s that time of year when we announce the Semi-Final winners located in New England and New York City, competing in the renowned culinary and hospitality event known as the 2026 James Beard Awards.® See who may have advanced from your neighborhood, and give them a try.
How Personal Best Shapes Societies. Some understand, while others disagree, that the intersection of personal responsibility and immigration is one. The person who best understood this was a man who became the intellectual lighthouse for free-market capitalism in the 20th century. Milton Friedman (1912–2006) was not merely an academic, but a Nobel Prizewinner, brilliant economist, and a financial revolutionary whose understanding of money and people explains why open borders will dismantle and ruin America, as it will other countries that don’t heed his advice.
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Auctions
EXCLUSIVELY LISTED AT $4,950,000
Custom-designed and built estate set on a 10+ acre estate in the secluded Hammett’s Cove neighborhood in East Marion. This property offers an unparalleled blend of elegance, privacy, and coastal charm. Complete with a 4,000 +/- sq. ft. main home, 3-car garage, gunite pool, pool house, putting green, and access to the association beach and dock, offering easy access to Sippican Harbor!
Custom-designed and built estate set on a 10+ acre estate in the secluded Hammett’s Cove neighborhood in East Marion. This property offers an unparalleled blend of elegance, privacy, and coastal charm. Complete with a 4,000 +/- sq. ft. main home, 3-car garage, gunite pool, pool house, putting green, and access to the association beach and dock, offering easy access to Sippican Harbor!
SOLD FOR $ 200,000
Step inside this classic 1961 Royal Barry Wills-designed Cape Cod-style home located in the heart of Marion Village! Set on a private .52 acre lot, this 2,400 +/- sq. ft. home offers 3 bedrooms, 3 full baths, a formal living room with Rumford fireplace and built-ins, dining area, cozy den, and a kitchen with updated appliances. Walk to the town center, Silvershell Beach, and schools in just minutes from this central location.
Welcome to Marion’s Converse Point, an exclusive waterfront enclave on Buzzards Bay. Set on 2.76 acres, this 5,030 sq. ft. residence offers breathtaking views of Buzzards Bay and effortless coastal living. Built in 2012, this home features 5 bedrooms, 4.5 baths, an elevator, and multiple decks showcasing the sweeping views. The chef’s kitchen features premium appliances and custom cabinetry, flowing to sunlit living spaces ideal for entertaining. Enjoy a heated swimming pool, hot tub, and pool cabana.
SOLD FOR $4,200,000
MARION, MASSACHUSETTS
Welcome to Marion, the hidden gem of the Southcoast! This large and incredibly private East Marion property could be the site of your dream home(s)! With 17+ acres, the opportunities are endless. This property is located outside of the flood zone and has access to town water and sewer at the buyer’s expense. Don’t miss this incredible opportunity!
SOLD FOR $1,275,000
THE ELDER BOWL
LIFE IS A GAME, THE SCORE IS TIED TEAMS ARE SENIORS ON EITHER SIDE THE FIELD CLOCK HANDS STARTING TO CLIMB SECONDS RUN OUT, IT’S OVERTIME
THE MARCHING BAND TAKES TO THE FIELD A VINTAGE PLAYLIST IS REVEALED ALL SING ALONG TO GERSHWIN HITS IN RACCOON COATS AND CARDIGAN KNITS
AIR FORCE SALUTE UP IN THE SKY WORLD WAR II PLANES SPUTTERING BY FANS ARE TRULY IN THE ‘GRANDSTAND’ GRANDMOMS, GRANDDADS, GRANDKIDS ON HAND
BY PEET NOURJIAN
A STREAKER RUNS FROM GOAL TO GOAL FREEZING WEATHER TAKING ITS TOLL REFEREE DOESN’T MISS THE CHANCE “ILLEGAL STIFF ARM WITHOUT PANTS”
OVERTIME STARTS, SO DOES THE SNOW PLAYERS CAN’T SEE WHICH WAY TO GO A SNOWBALL FIGHT BECOMES THE SPORT THE CROWD JOINS IN TO SHOW SUPPORT
WITH OFFICIAL PLAY SUSPENDED THE COACHING STAFFS RECOMMENDED EGGNOG SPIKED WITH A SHOT OF RYE AND BOWL POSTPONED UNTIL JULY. H
MARION $3,600,000
Experience
its
YARMOUTH $2,375,000
Masterfully restored landmark residence with gracious entertaining spaces, chef’s kitchen, heated pool and mature gardens.
SANDWICH $1,325,000
Stroll to Sandwich Village from this totally reimagined Ranch on acre+ setting abutting 50 acre Crow Farm.
MATTAPOISETT $2,250,000
Magnificent coastal retreat in the village offers deeded beach rights and sweeping views of the harbor and Molly’s Cove. PROVINCETOWN $1,885,000 Rare five-bedroom condo in the heart of Provincetown offers space,
EASTHAM $1,095,000
Private retreat with sparkling freshwater pool near Cape Cod Bay and National Seashore.
and
FALMOUTH $875,900
Three-level downtown condo offers the privacy of a standalone home with space, convenience and charm.
Caregiver Payments
Caring for someone at home? You may qualify for a monthly payment.
• Not be the legal guardian or legally married to the person being cared for
• Provide necessary medical care and assistance that meets the needs of the person they care for
For your family member or loved one to qualify for Mass Care Link services, they must meet these eligibility points:
• Be 16 years of age or older
• Be approved for MassHealth insurance
• Live with the primary caregiver in the same home
• Require supervision and cueing, or physical assistance daily with at least one of the following needs: bathing, toileting, ambulation, transferring, eating, and/or dressing.
If this sounds attractive and meets your level of interest, contact us today for additional information or to schedule an appointment.
Mass Care Link, Inc.
99 South Main Street, Fall River, Massachusetts 02721 Hablamos Español | Falamos Português call for more information or visit us online at:
ILLUSION
BY STEVEN CHAN
Knowing The Perfect Person Will Appear Before You’ve Met Them
The illusion begins before a word is spoken. It starts in the fraction of a second when someone enters your field of vision and your mind, almost impatiently, supplies a conclusion. There they are, the person you always believed or desired existed, in front of you and in the flesh. The one you pictured without realizing you’d been searching for them. The brain does not ask permission; it assigns meaning. It assembles a story with the confidence of certainty, and what you feel in your body—heat, focus, sudden hope—all registering as evidence.
But the illusion is not substantiated; it is a negotiation you subconsciously have with yourself, with the other person completely unaware of your internal assessment of mostly physical qualities, unless, of course, you are within their space and can assess their social skills and individual complexities in a microsecond.
You may tell yourself you are responding to beauty, yet it’s only the doorway you’re admiring. What follows is projection: a private movie you begin casting instantly. Hair becomes a signal of personality. A smile, a promise of kindness, and a controlled posture
must be proof of stability. Even small details—hands, voice, the way fabric falls on a shoulder—trigger the mind’s primitive pattern-matching system. It searches for alignment with an internal template you’ve built from childhood, from your first love, what you feared, what you were denied, and what others received as you watched.
This imaginary vision of potential bliss is why two people can look at the same person and see entirely different ‘perfection.’ Such an assessment is not a universal standard; it is a custom design. The illusion is what you see as an ideal appearance, wearing someone else’s face, could also be a mirror of who you believe you are or of the qualities you think others see in you.
Modern culture has sharpened, accelerated, and made the illusion more convincing. For most of human history, single people fell for those they knew or were connected to, even if only from a distance. Unknowing targets were in the full context of their community, family, work, and reputation. They could be watched and evaluated on how they treated strangers, handled disappointment, and showed up when not performing. Today, it is easy to form an infatuation from a passing glance, a photo, or a multi-second video. A stranger can be rendered as a near-perfect ideal before they have the chance to become human to an observer.
It’s
The illusion is further intensified by the rising presence of artificial intelligence in everyday life. When people can filter faces, modify bodies, smooth skin, adjust voices, rewrite messages, and produce a polished self with minimal friction, the mind begins to believe that perfect presentation equals perfect personhood. It’s a subtle shift: if it can be generated, then surely someone out there must embody it. The thought becomes plausible in a way it never was before.
But no one captures your deepest ideal. Not because people are disappointing, but because ideals are not people. Your perception is a fantasy object shaped by what you want but have not received. It is not a living, breathing human with a nervous system, a childhood, habits, needs, fears, and contradictions. Real people come with gaffes. They exhibit moods and limitations. They have moments when they aren’t charming and affable.
It is here that illusion and resentment meet. When someone fails to match the person they imagine exists, disappointment follows. Sometimes it is gentle—an adjustment, perhaps a recalibration of expectations. But it can become bitter. If rejected or passed by without a second look or even an iota of pleasantry, the uncomfortable truth is that the false narrative you’ve created can be easily broken like glass.
The inevitable realization that you’ve led yourself down a path beyond
important to acknowledge that love begins at the enticement
stage—not here, where the illusion softens, curiosity replaces certainty, and when you allow a person to come towards you without having any expectations of a future together.
And illusion is hungry for distance. The less information you have, the more room it has to expand. It thrives in the gap between a pleasant view or infatuation and what is known. It thrives when your imagination is allowed to do the heavy lifting; the pleasant feelings often peak at this initial stage, when everything still feels possible, without complications of self-disclosure.
Both men and women experience this, and it can quietly become one of the reasons so many people struggle to settle. The first illusion becomes a standard; it imprints feelings so intense and desirable that later, calmer affection feels suspicious—too normal, too slow, too real. People begin to chase the neurological surge more than the person. They chase the sensation of “this is it,” and they interpret anything less as failure, compromise, or settling.
The illusion is not just the belief that someone is perfect; it is often confused with compatibility. The belief that if someone looks like the answer, they must be the answer. But the qualities that sustain love—temperament, values, emotional maturity, discipline, shared goals—are invisible if they are there at all with a single look. What you can see quickly is style, charisma, genetics, grooming, confidence, and social fluency. These traits and choices are magnetic, but they are not a definition of character.
In the modern era, the illusion also draws fuel from comparison. We don’t just meet someone; we meet them against a background of everyone ever noticed. All men, women, and couples who have passed within our vision during a limited lifetime serve as influences in building an imaginable partner. The fiction becomes the expectation that love should imitate a cinematic highlight reel—effortless, photogenic, constantly affirming and validating.
your grasp harkens feelings of inferiority and disgust directed at the infatuation and self. Innocently, humans have the unique ability to let desire outpace knowledge.
The most painful form of an illusion is not about the person you cast your eyes upon, but the feelings of love that you believe are attached to the imaginary partner that you will probably never see again.
Often, people confuse intensity for truth, confusing nervous excitement for compatibility, and obsession for destiny. Some call it ‘chemistry’ as though that word is a guarantee of a future. What actually takes place is that the mind and body respond to novelty and possibility. It is powerful, but it is neither wise nor insightful.
The good news is that illusion is not to be eliminated from the mind, only recognized for what it is and its shortcomings. A passing look can invigorate, a smile might instill a sense of satisfaction at being seen, and in some cases, small talk or gestures can feel like at another time and place, perhaps the ice could be broken. Such a mystery is considered a pleasant gift that both parties will keep in their hearts and minds for at least a minute; those famous words ‘two ships passing’ have meaning, and that is the reality of these chance meetings.
Treat illusion as the beginning of a story, not the conclusion. It isn’t real, fixed, or owed to anyone. It’s important to acknowledge that love begins at the enticement stage—not here, where the illusion softens, curiosity replaces certainty, and when you allow a person to come towards you without having any expectations of a future together. H
ENTICEMENT
An Art Form In Being Noticed
Enticement follows illusion if it has taken hold. First, you see perfection—or what your mind labels as such. Then, something shifts inside you: the quiet decision that you want to be seen by them. Not just noticed in a general way, but selected, chosen, confirmed. Enticement begins as a strategy of hope. Unlike illusion, which is passive and internal, enticement is active and outgoing. It is the use of skills, talents, timing, style, and social intelligence to invite the person you desire closer. It’s the way you angle your body toward them while pretending you didn’t. It’s the controlled laugh. The brief touch. The confident pause before answering. It is the curated version of yourself stepping forward to compete in a marketplace where everyone is auditioning for what may seem like the same prize.
Modern dating has made enticement both more creative and exhausting. In the past, attraction unfolded in smaller circles. Your reputation traveled with you. Your community provided context. Now, you can reinvent yourself nightly. You can enter a room or an app as a new character—more daring, more mysterious, more polished. You can enhance your appearance, shape your narrative, and choose which details to conceal until later, if ever. Enticement has become an industry of presentation.
It’s easy to mock the rituals: the hair-touches, the lip bite, the gym photos, overly tight clothing, the ‘accidental’ selfie. But enticement isn’t foolish; it’s functional. It’s how humans signal interest without forcing vulnerability too quickly. It’s how we test the waters while preserving dignity. The problem isn’t that enticement exists; it’s the scale, the competition, and the untethered abandonment of authenticity.
SHOW PONIES
The current cultural environment profoundly influences enticement. Social media has taught people how to brand themselves. Dating apps have taught them how to market themselves. Filters, lighting, angles, and captions are not mere vanity; they are tools in a selection process. The more options people believe they have, the more they optimize. Enticement becomes less about expressing genuine desire and more about maximizing appeal.
It’s here, expectations start to distort. When everyone is presenting their ‘best possible self,’ the baseline shifts upward. Suddenly, normal becomes invisible. The average person— unfiltered, unbranded, imperfect—leaves many to believe they must compete with edited versions of humanity. Some respond by giving up, while others escalate: more enhancements, more performance, more tactics.
In this environment, the dating pool becomes less like a search for partnership and more like a tournament of impressions. You are not just asking, “Do I like them?” You are asking, “How do I rank compared to the others they could choose?” Enticement is the weapon used to improve that and elevate desirability.
And because the object of enticement is often the illusion of perfection, the stakes feel unusually high. If you believe the person you want is ‘the one,’ you will work harder to attract them. You will become more strategic, tolerate ambiguity, accept less clarity, and interpret mixed signals as a challenge rather than a warning. Enticement can keep you chasing long after reason suggests you should stop. Suddenly, the purpose of capturing them turns into a mindless game of cat and mouse.
The exchanges begin with the craving for approval and validation through likes, texts, and invitations—as though they are nourishment. The subject of desire becomes less a partner and more a prize to be toyed with and manipulated. From a certain point of view, people easily fall into a competitive state.
The dance becomes dangerous when enticement results in dependency. A flirty exchange becomes a dopamine loop that keeps the partner returning by supplying intermittent rewards of unpredictable attention; it’s how the addiction starts and is maintained. The exchanges begin with the craving for approval and validation through likes, texts, and invitations—as though they are nourishment. The subject of desire becomes less a partner and more a prize to be toyed with and manipulated. From a certain point of view, people easily fall into a competitive state. Enticement also creates misunderstandings because it can be successful without being sincere. People can be charming without being available; they can also be seductive but unkind. Attention without commitment draws people close—intense eye contact, confident compliments, playful teasing—can all be used as social tools rather than emotional truths. In a world where attention is currency, enticement is often used to collect a social toll without offering an endgame.
Men and women both participate, though the tactics vary. Some men signal status through confidence, spending, humor, or social dominance. Women signal desirability through beauty,
poise, warmth, or exclusivity. But in the modern world, this has scrambled traditional scripts, and people are increasingly mixing strategies that sow misunderstandings or cause many to retreat.
In today’s world, through the eyes of Feminism, women are encouraged to project not only dominance, but pressure men into projecting softness and a feminine state of being, even though they deeply desire a masculine man that is harsh and unforgiving. The change-up is that social media is overrun with clear, concise stories about girls who go wild with the bad boys, only to realize later that the clock is ticking and it’s time to try a different path. It’s here; they decide to ‘settle’ on a provider that has little to do with desire or love. Unaware that men are paying attention to the lack of
morality, hence body counts that would make soldiers blush, guys now realize the best predictor of how long a relationship will last is found in direct relationship to the number of bed partners a woman has had before him. In countless cases, they opt out of getting married to a party girl and ending up giving away half of their net worth, if not more, to someone who was only looking for a meal, a cot, and a roof over her head. Late marriages are often tied to acts of desperation.
Then there is the idea of hypergamy—seeking partners perceived as higher status, which can complicate enticement further. When status becomes central, people may enticementshop: presenting themselves to attract not the best match, but the highest perceived value. Following this tactic can lead to unrealistic expectations and constant dissatisfaction, because ‘higher value’ is a moving target. There is always someone richer, more attractive, more connected, more impressive. And behind the ladies actively searching for the best they can find is a long line of younger ones competing for the same high-valued men.
The healthiest form of enticement is not performance; it is invitation. It’s the way you present your best self without pretending
that your best self is your only self. It is confidence without deception. It is charm without manipulation. It is the ability to say, “I want to be known,” rather than “I want to win.”
Enticement is not love. It is the doorbell. It is the sparkle that gets someone to look up. The danger is treating the sparkle as substance. The point is not to attract everyone, but to focus on the person in your sights, so that when you end the performance, and you want to begin an ordinary life, they still want to be with you. H
How Timing, Culture, and Pressure Turn Dating Into A Negotiation
JOURNEY
The journey begins when the thrill of first attention fades, and real-life experiences and trials enter the room. It is the long stretch between ‘we might’ and ‘we are,’ and doesn’t come about from a single decision; it is a sequence of choices made under pressure from society, culture, biological timing, economics, and the apprehension of watching time pass.
Modern dating is a challenge; relationships are not only difficult to navigate, but the environment has become more complex. Roles are less defined with many inverted. Demands upon the single are fierce, yet obtuse, and contending with them and those pesky unspoken expectations can be unreasonable. Options seem endless until red flags start littering the emotional landscape. People want and will demand freedom and security, passion and peace, independence and intimacy, novelty and stability, making the layout of forming a relationship much like a minefield. Perfection
seems to be the rule of choice, even when everyone knows that, as we age, the scorecard becomes a bit more flexible, with scores dropping as we find ourselves single for another year.
But the most defining challenge in the journey is timing. Women and men often arrive at their most intense relationship questions at different points in life. Women face the reality of fertility earlier, whether they want children or want the option to choose later. Men often experience their most dramatic career acceleration later, after years of building, failing, rebuilding, and stabilizing. These different timelines can produce mismatched urgency. One partner feels the clock. The other feels the climb. For this reason, ‘gap’ relationships are becoming commonplace.
Culture complicates this further. The world now celebrates selfimprovement, career building, travel, and personal fulfillment— often during the very years that older generations used to settle down. Many single people delay long-term partnerships not because they don’t want one, but instead, they wish to feel prepared
In the end, the journey is not about finding someone perfect, but someone whose imperfections you can live with—and whose life goals can actually align with yours in the real world, on the calendar, and with consequences.
for commitment. The problem with this ‘getting-ready’ belief is that readiness can become a moving goal post. There is always another promotion, another goal, or another year to enjoy freedom before settling.
Cohabitation or one of a dozen forms of non-commitment arrangements have become a modern compromise: intimacy with flexibility, partnership without the full weight of permanent promises. For some, it is a thoughtful step—shared life, shared bills, shared routines. For others, it becomes a holding pattern. Months turn into years. The relationship feels serious, yet undefined. The question of marriage becomes an unspoken tension: one partner waiting, the other delaying, both afraid to force clarity and risk losing what they already have.
The journey is also shaped by economic forces. Love is romantic, but logistics are relentless. Housing costs, debt, income differences, and career mobility affect relationship decisions more than people like to admit. Couples negotiate where to live, whose job takes priority, if moving is possible, are children affordable, and whether one person can pause a career without resentment. These are not minor details. They define the future and laydown the baseline of power and control.
Social pressure whispers constantly in the background. Friends get engaged. Families ask questions. Holidays become interrogation sessions. People begin to perform varying degrees of happiness to prove they are not falling behind. Social media amplifies this, presenting milestones as a sequence everyone is expected to hit on schedule. When your life doesn’t match the timeline, anxiety grows.
It’s vital to note that the journey is not only external. Everyone entering into a relationship carries wounds they call ‘standards.’ They say they’re picky when they’re actually afraid. You’ll hear how independent they are, when their guard is always up. Ruminations abound about the ‘right person,’ showing up, when in fact they’re really waiting for a relationship that requires no vulnerability. The modern world offers endless ways to avoid discomfort, distractions, and plenty of exits.
As for children, questions you can expect to have answers for include: Who wants them? When? How many? Who will sacrifice time and sleep and career momentum? Who will handle the invisible labor—appointments, homework, emotional management and, the constant planning that holds a household together? People say they want equality, but equality is tested in exhaustion, not theory. The journey reveals whether two people can operate as a team when life becomes demanding.
Some couples choose marriage because they want structure, tradition, legal, and financial clarity; with a public commitment between a couple (and the State), even though it is proposed as a contract between two people, it is the government that you are in a relationship with, considering you need a license to get married and a court to divorce so you can split your money and future earnings between conflicting parties. Some choose a long-term partnership without marriage, building a shared life on trust rather than paperwork. Every path can work, but each asks different things of you, and the journey punishes vagueness.
The modern journey is most challenging for those who drift. Dating casually can be fun, but casual can become a lifestyle that quietly eats your future. People wake up in their late thirties or forties, shocked by how fast time has moved, realizing they made no deliberate decisions because they were always ‘seeing how it goes’ or how high up the food chain they could climb. The journey rewards those who choose consciously, treats the honest with sincerity, and supports those who understand that committing also means keeping up with personal priorities before negotiating someone else’s. It delivers real security to people who can tolerate the discomfort of clarity.
In the end, the journey is not about finding someone perfect, but someone whose imperfections you can live with—and whose life goals can actually align with yours in the real world, on the calendar, and with consequences. H
REALITY
What You Can Expect As Life Unfolds, Depending On The Path You Choose
Reality is what remains after illusion fades, enticement quiets and the journey forces decisions. It’s the long-term outcome of your choices, whether you made them deliberately or by default. It’s not meant to frighten you, but to serve as a wake-up call to those waffling. Many younger readers have never seen the traditional family up close. They have noticed fragments, heard nostalgic stories, and viewed sitcom versions or horror stories of what really takes place within a family when it is intact. They may not realize that the ‘traditional’ model was a trade-off for stability, purchased at the cost of constraint. In earlier generations, roles were clearer. People married earlier. Divorce carried a heavier stigma. Communities were tighter. That structure produced some forms of security, and it also produced quiet suffering for those trapped in unhealthy dynamics.
The modern world corrected many injustices, but it also removed guardrails. People now have far more freedom to design their lives, leave bad relationships, and prioritize selfhood. But freedom comes with responsibility, and responsibility comes with consequences. The reality is that you can choose almost any path now, but you can’t select it without paying a price.
If you choose a long-term partnership early, you may gain stability, shared growth, and a teammate during life’s hardest seasons. You’ll also experience the pressure of building a life while still learning who you are. Sacrificing freedoms will go hand in hand with spontaneous reinvention; the ability to move without negotiation becomes commonplace, and the luxury of only being responsible for yourself disappears immediately if you expect the relationship to last. Some people thrive under this structure. Others resent it, and according to the data, around half of them end up quitting.
If you delay partnership, you might gain independence, adventure, career acceleration, and self-discovery. You’ll also face a narrower dating pool later, with a choice between very young and very old; everyone else seems to have left Earth. There’s always significant emotional baggage among available partners to contend with, and it isn’t easy to meet the challenges of blending established lives, compounded if you or they have children to create a new family unit. You’ll find yourself set in your routines, less flexible, and perhaps unwilling to tolerate the compromises that relationships require. Independence can become a strength—or a wall.
If you pursue casual dating for years, you may collect experiences, stories, and excitement. But the reality is that
Reality is not pessimism. It is power. When you see clearly, you can choose correctly. Everyone understands that love becomes less of a gamble and more of a craft if shaped by intention, rather than illusion.
casual patterns can harden into habits. You may become addicted to novelty, to the early-stage rush, to the sense that commitment is optional. Over time, it becomes harder to tolerate boredom, and boredom is unavoidable in long-term love. The ability to stay when things become ordinary is not a personality trait; it is a skill built through practice. If you never practice it, you will struggle when you need it most.
For those addicted to online dating, a pyramid dating scam, where the top 2-3 percent of men and women get results, while the remaining lonely hearts languish for attention by the 9 out of 10 profiles that aren’t authentic and are looking to quickly steal personal information and money. For those who choose to wander the clubs, events, and special occasion, be armed with significant financial resources as a means to be seen. Realize the
larger and more complicated. You will experience purpose in a way that is difficult to explain to those without kids. You will also experience exhaustion, reduced freedom, financial strain, and the permanent responsibility of shaping another human being. Children magnify what exists. They don’t rescue relationships; they reveal them. A strong partnership becomes stronger—a fragile one fractures, accompanied by significant collateral damage.
If children aren’t part of the plan, your life can be spacious, flexible, and financially enhanced. You likely invest more in travel, career, friendships, and personal growth. You may also need to plan your later years more intentionally: community, caretaking, companionship, and legacy do not automatically appear. Reality is that older age without family support can be peaceful—or lonely—depending on how well you build relationships beyond romance. If you were to ask parents and non-parents about their thoughts, most would be quite comfortable with their decision.
vast investment you’ll make, so you can remain relevant after connecting with those who have the same intention as you.
If you choose marriage, you are choosing both a legal framework (as mentioned earlier) and an emotional commitment. This plan can protect you, clarify rights, and create a stable foundation for raising children. It can also increase the stakes of separation. Marriage forces a level of seriousness that modern culture sometimes resists. It can be a powerful container—or a source of pressure if entered without alignment. Tread carefully.
If you choose any other form of connection that doesn’t involve an explicit agreement with expectations, reality can become ambiguous. Some couples thrive without marriage. Others grow a garden of resentment for many more reasons than we can print. The truth is that love without clarity can feel like security until the day it doesn’t, leaving partners feeling broken and betrayed. If you choose children, your life will simultaneously become
The reality younger people most need to hear is this: there is no path without sacrifice. The modern myth that you can have total freedom, total excitement, total security, and total fulfillment all at once is patently false. Every choice is a trade, making every trade an option that won’t be easy to renegotiate later on in life.
The second reality is that love is not just something you ‘find.’ It is something you maintain. The partner who looks perfect today will have battles that will test their endurance and commitment. You will too. Bodies change. Careers stall. Parents age. Loss arrives. Health issues appear. Money gets tight. A longterm relationship is not proof that you chose well once; it is proof that you keep choosing correctly over and over again.
The final reality is that your future will not feel like an accident if you decide deliberately now. You don’t have to follow tradition, but you must respect consequences. You don’t have to rush, but you must respect time; it is the only resource you can’t control. You don’t have to settle, but you must distinguish between accepting what is and creating something better.
Reality is not pessimism. It is power. When you see clearly, you can choose correctly. Everyone understands that love becomes less of a gamble and more of a craft if shaped by intention, rather than illusion.
To be happy is to be honest with oneself and to map out a plan for personal growth. By fulfilling your passions and living your destiny, the right person will find you, and you will find the right person when the time comes, and the planets align.
Happy Valentine’s Day. H
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INVESTING IN YOUR FUTURE:
Some Will Become Rich, While Others Will Become Overwhelmed With Resentment
BY STEVEN CHAN
THE FINANCIAL FUTURE OF MILLIONS COULD BE AT RISK IF THEY DON’T HAVE A PLAN
Ronald Reagan did it in the eighties and Donald Trump is doing it today: turning disruptive, often controversial ideas into engines of profit and expansion. History shows that economic transformation is rarely polite, never evenly distributed, and almost always unfair to someone. Ideals like equality of outcome or fashionable social frameworks have little relevance when it comes to the private accumulation of wealth. Markets reward preparation, courage, and timing—not sentiment.
The seeds sown today determine the reality we will face tomorrow. Personal financial education and early participation are not luxuries; they are survival skills. Those who fail to acquire them often discover, too late, a brutal truth: life offers no guarantees, and no one is coming to the rescue—neither now nor later. Dependence on the state may promise comfort, but it often delivers resentment, especially when awareness arrives long after opportunity has expired.
What we are witnessing today feels surreal only to those who are not watching. Wealth is no longer subtle. It can be seen, heard, and even palpable in the momentum of those building legacies. Real estate is trading hands at valuations once thought impossible. Luxury travel is experiencing historic demand. Family offices and trusts are proliferating, quietly preparing the next generation for a life focused not on earning income, but on stewarding capital. These developments are not accidental—it is the delayed harvest of decisions made decades ago.
Under Ronald Reagan, policies emphasizing deregulation, entrepreneurship, and capital formation ignited a long arc of economic growth. Critics focused on the immediate disparities, but history is revealing something more complex: capital, once unleashed, compounds. It takes years—sometimes generations— for opportunity to filter down, reshaping industries, cities, and individual lives. The rewards we see today are not sudden; they are cumulative.
A similar dynamic is unfolding in the present era. Under Trump, aggressive pro-business rhetoric, tax restructuring, and an
unapologetic embrace of deal-making have reignited conversations about risk, ownership, and leverage. But, by example, the debate centered on fairness misses the more important signal: opportunity does not wait for consensus.
The common thread across generations is not ideology—it is behavior. Baby Boomers and many who followed them assumed responsibility for their financial futures. They took eye-watering risks, educated themselves relentlessly, and thought beyond the present moment. They understood that tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.
The encouraging truth is that this discipline is not reserved for the wealthy. Wealth often begins humbly. It can start with gathering forgotten coins, liquidating unused gold jewelry, or committing to daily reading about markets and investing. It grows through small but consistent actions: purchasing fractional shares, setting up automatic investments into ETFs or mutual funds, and prioritizing ownership over consumption. Even housing—a cornerstone of wealth—can be approached strategically. Instead of a single-family home, a duplex can transform a liability into a
leveraged asset, with rental income helping to service the mortgage.
These are not glamorous steps, but they are powerful ones. Luxury, after all, is rarely the result of indulgence—it is the reward for restraint. The exhibition of wealth disguises the lack of it; old money has been hiding in front of us all, and we never noticed.
The uncomfortable bottom line is this: an unsatisfying financial future has no villain. If you choose not to act, there is no one to blame. We are living through a once-in-a-lifetime convergence of information, access, and opportunity. Capital markets are open. Knowledge is abundant. Tools that once belonged only to institutions are now available to individuals willing to learn.
The dividing line will not be intelligence, background, or luck. It will be attention. Those who listen, focus, and are willing to sacrifice a portion of today’s pleasures for tomorrow’s freedom will be richly rewarded. Those who do not may find themselves looking back—not with curiosity, but with disdain—wondering how opportunity passed them by.
The moment to act is not approaching. It is already here, inviting you to join the new economic revolution. H
BY ROB SAINT LAURENT, M.ED.
The song is over. The flame has been extinguished. What comes next is far from pleasant for any rejected partner, even when a split is amicable.
Author Katharine Chan vividly recalls her heartbreak after being rejected at 16 years-old, saying it felt as if her heart was put through a meat grinder. Shock waves pierced her heart every time she recalled their first date, laughing at their inside jokes, or the scent of his cologne.1
In the aftermath of a sudden ending to a five-year relationship, Mark, 35, explains how he lost over 30 pounds from constant fatigue and forgetting to eat, which led to mismanagement of his Type 1 diabetes by resorting to junk food to ease the pain. Though he had led a healthy and active lifestyle, he began to neglect self-care, and his health deteriorated. 2
Where love once imbues the brain with feel-good chemicals like endorphins, breaking up seems to trigger a cascade of stress hormones that can have a range of adverse effects.
It could be that what is now dubbed ‘broken heart syndrome’ (BHS) underlies the heartache some people feel following the end of a romantic relationship.
A DIFFERENT KIND OF HEART CONDITION
A bona fide medical disorder, BHS is usually a temporary heart condition typically brought on by extreme emotions and stressful circumstances, like losing a loved one and surgery.
BHS was originally called Takotsubo cardiomyopathy when it was first described in Japan in 1990. Its exact origin is still unknown. Harvard Medical School’s Howard E. LeWine, M.D., says scientists believe it stems from a rush of stress hormones, like adrenaline, that basically shock the heart. [This] causes changes in heart muscle cells and/or blood vessels that prevent the heart’s left ventricle from pumping properly.3
Mayo Clinic interventional cardiologist Mohamad Alkhouli, M.D., notes that the heart contracts unevenly in BHS, with some areas working harder to compensate. This discontinuity exposes the heart to twisting forces that can lead to spontaneous tearing of the arterial wall.4
Symptoms of BHS can be very similar to a heart attack, including chest pains and shortness of breath, and even electrocardiogram results can be indistinguishable. To diagnose BHS, imaging and other measures are used to rule out blockages in the coronary arteries and to look for abnormalities in the left ventricle—namely, ballooning in the middle and lower sections of the chamber during contraction, resembling a Japanese takotsubo pot used to trap octopuses.3
Depending on BHS severity and other variables, treatment can involve standard heart medications, like beta blockers and diuretics. In addition to reducing life stressors, these medications may be continued indefinitely to mitigate the effects of stress hormones.3
We don’t understand why some people are more likely to develop BHS after emotional stress than others, but Mayo Clinic says risk is greater in women, people over 50, and those with a history of anxiety or depression.4, 5
LeWine says BHS usually clears up in one to four weeks, with full recovery within two months and low risk of recurrence. In rare cases, however, BHS can be fatal if signs persist.
Though BHS happens most often in women, research by the American Heart Association says it’s more fatal in men.
(Anyone with unexplained chest pain, rapid or irregular heartbeat, or difficulty breathing is urged to call 911.)
THE BROKEN-HEARTED BRAIN.
Research in the European Heart Journal highlights the link between BHS and the brain.
One study led by Massachusetts General Hospital cardiologist Ahmed Tawakol, M.D., found that chronically high stress activity in the brain’s amygdala, where emotional processing and fear response occur, can lead to a greater risk of BHS.6, 7
Investigators examined brain scans of 104 patients who were being evaluated for other medical conditions, with 41 patients later developing BHS. They found that stress level predicted not only the likelihood of BHS but also its timing. BHS was developed within a year of imaging for those with the highest brain stress activity and within several years for those with intermediate activity.
They also found that people with chronically high stress activity were more likely to develop BHS in response to less emotionally draining stressors, like a routine colonoscopy. Additionally, there may be a link between high-stress activity in the brain and bone marrow function, which could, for example, impact cardiovascular health through impaired immune function.
In a second study, Swiss investigators compared resting activity in the brain’s limbic system—its emotional processing center, including the amygdala and other structures—in 15 BHS subjects versus 39 healthy controls. In people with BHS, there was reduced limbic connectivity at rest. The researchers say this could lead to an overactive nervous response to a stressful trigger and subsequent BHS. 8
The brain-heart connection is “deeply intertwined,” explains Alkhouli. “We’re beginning to see the heart and brain not as separate organs, but as a single, dynamic network.”4
ADDICTED TO LOVE
At the same time, research suggests that breaking up can hurt deeply because intense romance affects the brain much like narcotics.
In a landmark 2010 study led by late anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., 15 college-aged, heterosexual women (10) and men (five) who had recently been romantically rejected but still had very strong feelings underwent brain scans. During scanning, participants viewed a photo of their former partner, did a simple math exercise to try to clear their minds, then viewed a benign photo of someone ‘neutral’ for comparison.9, 10
Tellingly, multiple key brain areas were triggered more by the ex-partner versus benign photos: the orbitofrontal cortex and nucleus accumbens at the front of the brain, both linked to addiction and craving, especially the dopamine-based reward system seen in cocaine addiction; the mid-brain’s ventral tegmental area, involved in reward and motivation and linked to romantic love; and the insular cortex and anterior cingulate cortex in the mid-to-front brain, associated with physical pain and distress.
These results suggest that intense romantic feelings are a reward-based motivational state that we strive for rather than a specific emotion. Romantic rejection is a form of addiction, since we’re fighting to regain that pleasurable state.
It’s also a clue why jilted lovers can resort to extreme behaviors like stalking, suicide, and murder in some instances.
HEARTBREAK IMPACTS
The risk of developing BHS from romantic heartbreak is considered low, but it can still be bad for one’s well-being.
Psychomotor vegetation and agitation, involving fidgeting, fast-talking, and restlessness, or the reverse; ruminating on love lost; adjusting to single life; going through stages of grief
Feelings of rejection, hurt, and sadness; grief over lost life; struggling to find a new normal
Nervous system dysregulation due to feelings of abandonment, isolation, and rejection before bed
Our behavior can also be impacted. As in Mark’s case, people often struggle with keeping a healthy routine, and they can isolate themselves from others. 2
PATHS TO HEALING
Experts say about 80 percent of us will experience romantic heartbreak at some point in our lives. But with the proper healing strategy, they say a lovelorn person can initiate positive change and move on.
Katharine Chan blamed herself following her split, feeling like she failed herself for not being a good girlfriend. She writes that it’s important to give grace to oneself, as healing takes time. Everyone heals at their own pace. In the meantime, it’s beneficial to create new routines that may involve a new hobby, exercise, etc. Rekindling neglected friendships and expanding one’s social circle is effective for working through heartache.1
Chan says showing herself compassion and telling herself she’s worthy of love was the most effective strategy for her in moving forward and healing her heart.
She notes research on 196 emerging adults who experienced heartbreak after a romantic split, which revealed a pattern. Those who help themselves by expressing and maintaining emotional wellbeing, problem-solving, and keeping a positive mindset were less likely to become anxious and depressed. On the other hand, those who denied and avoided the problem, punished themselves with self-blame, or fixated on things, suffered the opposite outcome.1, 11
Alkhouli says when we support our minds, we’re supporting our hearts, and vice versa. He advises stress reduction, quality sleep, social networking, mindfulness or prayer, physical activity, and heart-healthy eating.4
For peer support, those diagnosed with BHS may benefit from groups like Mayo Clinic’s Heart & Blood Health Support Group. Likewise, Chan encourages people experiencing heartbreak to reach out to a mental health counselor if need be.
But people coping with romantic heartbreak should take heart. Fisher’s research also showed that falling out of love seems to be
a gradual process, with subjects engaged in reassessing their gains and losses. However, the greater the elapsed time since rejection, the less activation in the brain area associated with attachment, the right ventral putamen.9, 10
In other words, potential physiological proof that time heals all wounds. H
1. Chan, K. (2024, November 24). This Is What Happens to the Brain & Body When You’re Heartbroken. Verywell Mind.
2. McConnochie, T. (2020, July). The Science of a Breakup: What Happens to Our Bodies? Hospitals Contribution Fund (HCF) of Australia.
3. LeWine, H. E. (2023, June 13). Broken-heart syndrome (takotsubo cardiomyopathy). Harvard Health Publishing.
4. Theimer, S. (2025, September 4). The brain-heart connection: Mayo Clinic expert explains powerful tie that works both ways. Mayo Clinic.
5. Staff. (2023, November 11). Broken heart syndrome. Mayo Clinic.
6. Cunningham, J. (2021, March 26). Researchers identify brain’s role in broken heart syndrome [Press release]. Massachusetts General Hospital.
7. Radfar, A., Abohashem, S., Osborne, M. T., et al. (2021, May 14). Stress-associated neurobiological activity associates with the risk for and timing of Takotsubo syndrome. European Heart Journal, 42(19), 1898-1908.
8. Templin, C., Hänggi, J., Klein, C., et al. (2019, April 14). Altered limbic and autonomic processing supports brain-heart axis in Takotsubo syndrome. European Heart Journal, 49(15), 1183-87.
9. Staff. (2010, July 6). Study Finds Romantic Rejection Stimulates Areas of Brain Involved in Motivation, Reward and Addiction. Rutgers Today.
10. Fisher, H. E., Brown, L. L., Aron, A., et al. (2010, July). Reward, addiction and emotion regulation systems associated with rejection in love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 104(1), 51-60.
11. Gehl, K., Brassard, A. Dugal, C., et al. (2024). Attachment and Breakup Distress: The Mediating Role of Coping Strategies. Emerging Adulthood, 12(1), 41-54.
Dress To Flex
BY JAMES HOLDEN
After several years of watching fashion trends evolve amid uncontrollable global events— some sobering, some liberating—it has become clear to me that when it comes to clothing, people generally fall into three distinct categories. It doesn’t take a sociological study to spot them. A simple glance to the left or right reveals volumes about a person’s taste, motives, sense of appropriateness, and even how strongly they feel the need to be noticed.
The largest group is, without question, the safest. These individuals avoid risk at all costs. They dress to disappear, blending seamlessly into any environment. Their wardrobes function like neutral paint— inoffensive, forgettable, and designed to avoid scrutiny. Ironically, this group provides the perfect visual backdrop for the second category: those who dress for the occasion. These people stand out not because they are loud, but because they are intentional. Their clothing reflects poise, regulation, and agency. They understand that what they wear communicates respect—not only for themselves, but for the room they are walking into.
Then there are the followers. This group— predominantly men between 20 and 40—has latched onto the relaxed ‘billionaire boy’ aesthetic: a T-shirt, a neck chain, jeans, and sneakers. It’s a look that has somehow convinced an entire demographic that casual minimalism equals power. Whenever I find myself in a setting like this—often wearing a tailored suit— I can’t help but chuckle and wonder what exactly compelled so many men to emulate Mark Zuckerberg. The only real variations seem to be the neckline, the shirt color, and the money.
Women haven’t escaped their own fashion contradictions.
The widespread adoption of tights was both a blessing and a curse. While undeniably comfortable and occasionally flattering, they should have come with a disclaimer: they are not for everyone, no matter how convincing the marketing. The same goes for sweats. can look incredible—but only when styled with intention. Otherwise, what people see is not relaxed luxury, but an unkempt ragamuffin. If you look like a model, you might pull it off. If not, pull them off—please.
The final group in today’s fashion ecosystem consists of the radicals. These are the people who believe that the more out of place they look, the more ‘individual’ they appear. They describe themselves as non-conforming, creative, and expressive, but often what they actually communicate is confusion. Their outfits scream for attention—but not admiration. No one is inspired by radical dissonance. In fact, it can be unsettling. When clothing sends the message “look at me at all costs,” it creates distance rather than intrigue. Few want to be near someone whose appearance feels confrontational. It’s simply the wrong vibe.
Choosing clothing is remarkably similar to purchasing a car. Most people select a vehicle that supports the persona they want to project. Think of the short guy in the massive pickup truck. The beach-loving girl cruising in her Jeep with the top and doors off. The young—or not so young— executive gliding through traffic in a pristine BMW, Benz, or Porsche. Everyone understands that cars are extensions
of identity. Yet, since COVID forced the world indoors, many people seem to believe that the same standards no longer apply to how they present themselves physically.
Why else would pajamas become acceptable attire at airports, shopping malls, or even restaurants? Why do we now see men dragged to semi-formal events wearing ill-fitting suit jackets paired with mismatched pants—clothes that look borrowed from someone who actively dislikes dressing—standing next to others in appropriately tailored suits and ties? The contrast is jarring, and it sends a message whether intended or not.
PRIDE
In metropolitan areas and high-expectation environments, these contrasts are even more pronounced. Across major cities and refined resort destinations, dressing well isn’t performative—it’s instinctive. Quality and taste function as credentials. Here, personal presentation is a clear indicator of mindset. It signals pride, selfworth, and awareness. And perhaps, most importantly, it reflects an understanding of a truth many quietly know: looking your best opens doors that might otherwise remain closed.
The tide is shifting. Competition is accelerating across every dimension of life—careers, social circles, and lifestyles alike. Showing up prepared, polished, and present increasingly puts you at the front of the line. Sometimes quite literally.
I’ve experienced this firsthand. On two recent dinner dates at some of the most prominent restaurants in a major city—both in the same week—I was approached at the end of each evening. In one instance, it was the general manager. In the other, a corporate executive overseeing expansion across the East Coast. In both
cases, the conversation began the same way: my attire had caught their attention. Dressing appropriately for the setting sparked curiosity and invited engagement.
But it didn’t stop there. Each interaction ended with a business card and explicit instructions to contact them personally for future reservations or special requests. One even invited me back with a group of associates for a complimentary evening. His words were simple and telling: “How you look tonight indicates your respect for us.”
There is no absolute right or wrong way to dress—but there is an unspoken expectation whenever you walk through a door. I’ve always taken pride in dressing well, though not without lessons learned. Years ago, while working in television, a Vice President of Marketing shared a story that stayed with me. An internal rival had told him that an upcoming meeting would be ‘casual’—a jacket, tie, and slacks. He arrived dressed accordingly, only to discover that the other five men in the room were all wearing dark suits. He was humiliated.
He finished recounting the moment with a laugh and a piece of advice I’ve never forgotten: “Always overdress.” You can’t be criticized for looking better than everyone else—but you can absolutely be judged for looking like you didn’t care.
Fashion, at its best, is not about flexing wealth or chasing trends. It’s about signaling awareness, intention, and respect. Dressing well doesn’t mean dressing loudly. It means showing the world— and yourself—that you are present, prepared, and worth taking seriously. And in a world where first impressions still matter more than people admit, that might be the most powerful flex of all. H
Newport’s Famed Marble House Turns To Climate-Friendly Geothermal
An extensive geothermal climate-control system is being installed at Marble House, a National Historic Landmark museum that attracts nearly 150,000 visitors each year. The benefits of the new system include maintaining steady, mild temperatures and a 50 percent humidity level inside the house, helping to protect its contents, particularly textiles, leather, paintings, paper, and wooden objects. Another significant benefit will be fuel oil savings of up to 80 percent, which reduces the building’s carbon footprint.
“Geothermal is a winning investment for our properties,” said Trudy Coxe, CEO and Executive Director of The Preservation Society of Newport County, which owns Marble House and nine other historic house museums. “These systems are expensive—the estimate for the Marble House project is $1.5 million. But we are committed to reducing carbon and caring for our houses in a sustainable way, and the long-term benefits make the investment well worthwhile.”
This new climate-control system is the Preservation Society’s fifth geothermal installation. Similar projects have been successful
Installation at one of the most famous 19th century mansions soon will benefit from 21st century green-energy technology.
at Chepstow (installed in 2015), The Elms Carriage House (2016), The Breakers (2018), and Chateau-sur-Mer (2024).
Geothermal climate control draws upon the Earth’s yearround subsurface temperature of about 55 degrees to warm the house in winter and cool it in summer. At Marble House, contractors have drilled 21 wells, each 425 feet deep, in the expansive backyard. A series of tubes will circulate water into the wells, where the liquid will be cooled or warmed to the underground temperature. The water will then be piped into the house to regulate the interior temperature through a system of electric heat pumps and air handlers.
The Preservation Society expects to complete the project in the late spring of 2026.
For more information, please visit NewportMansions.org. H
The James Beard Foundation® Announces
Its Restaurant & Chef Awards Semifinalists For 2026
The James Beard Foundation® announced today its Restaurant and Chef Awards Semifinalists for the 2026 James Beard Awards.® Considered the pinnacle of culinary recognition in the U.S. and among the country’s most prestigious honors, the James Beard Awards celebrate exceptional talent in the culinary and food media industries, as well as a demonstrated commitment to creating a culture where all can thrive. Here we provide a list of exclusive contenders from New England and New York City.
For 36 years, the James Beard Awards have been considered the leading benchmark for excellence in American food culture, defining how culinary achievement is recognized and understood nationwide. Today, the Awards are pushing that vision further—presenting a fuller, more dynamic picture of our culinary landscape that spans regions, cuisines, dining styles, and communities across the Restaurant and Chef, Media, and Achievement Awards. As a marker of distinction, the Awards serve as a trusted guide for diners, while continuing to elevate industry standards.
“We are thrilled to congratulate this year’s semifinalists as we mark another major milestone—40 years of the James Beard Foundation,” said Clare Reichenbach, CEO of the James Beard Foundation. “For four decades, the Foundation has recognized culinary excellence while championing the independent chefs and restaurants that are vital to our communities, economy, and culture. It is an honor to celebrate the 2026 semifinalists, whose work
reflects the incredible dynamism, talent, and achievement defining our industry today.”
The 2026 Awards season will highlight the program’s decades-long impact on the independent restaurant industry and its role in shaping dining and storytelling across America. Over the course of a year-long campaign, the Foundation will spotlight the people, cuisines, and stories that define our nation’s culinary landscape.
Established in 1990, with the first awards given in 1991, the James Beard Restaurant and Chef Awards honor excellence across all types of dining experiences, from fine dining to casual establishments, while supporting and encouraging a more equitable and sustainable industry. The Restaurant and Chef Awards are one of several recognition programs of the James Beard Awards.
“Congratulations to this year’s Restaurant and Chef Award semifinalists, who represent the breadth of American food culture,” said Dawn Padmore, Vice President of the Awards, James Beard Foundation. “We also thank our volunteer committee members and judges for their dedication to this program.”
Nominees will be announced on Tuesday, March 31, 2026, and winners will be celebrated at the James Beard Restaurant and Chef Awards Ceremony on Monday, June 15, 2026, at the Lyric Opera of Chicago. For more information regarding the James Beard Awards and the Restaurant and Chef Awards, including voting process, eligibility guidelines, policies, and procedures, please visit the James Beard Foundation website. H
NEW ENGLAND AND NEW YORK CITY SEMIFINALISTS
The following semifinalists represent New England (Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Vermont) and New York City, regions whose culinary influence continues to shape American dining through leadership, hospitality, and cultural impact.
OUTSTANDING RESTAURATEUR
Simon Kim | Gracious Hospitality (COTE, Undercote, COQODAQ), New York, N.Y.
Jennifer Vitagliano & Nicole Vitagliano | Elizabeth Street Hospitality (The Musket Room, Raf’s, Café Zaffri), New York, N.Y.
Dana Street | Fore Street, Scales, Standard Baking Co., Portland, M.E.
OUTSTANDING CHEF
Gabriel Kreuther | Gabriel Kreuther, New York, N.Y.
Kwame Onwuachi | Tatiana, New York, N.Y.
Missy Robbins | Lilia, Brooklyn, N.Y.
David Standridge | The Shipwright’s Daughter, Mystic, C.T.
OUTSTANDING RESTAURANT
O Ya | Boston, M.A.
Oberlin | Providence, R.I.
Via Carota | New York, N.Y.
The Four Horsemen | Brooklyn, N.Y.
EMERGING CHEF
SunN.Y. Lee | Sunn’s, New York, N.Y.
Rasheeda Purdie | Ramen by Rā, New York, N.Y.
Pao Thampitak | Gaaeng Supper Club, Boston, MA
Jasmine Watson | Audette, Newport, R.I.
BEST NEW RESTAURANT
Bong | New York, N.Y.
Kabawa | New York, N.Y.
Lei | New York, N.Y.
Café Monette | St. Albans, VT
Claudine | Providence, R.I.
ROLi | New Haven, CT
OUTSTANDING BAKERY
Bánh by Lauren | New York, N.Y.
Librae | New York, N.Y.
Night Moves Bread | South Portland, ME
Super Secret Ice Cream | Bethlehem, N.H.
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Renata Ameni | Birdee, Brooklyn, N.Y.
Monica Glass | Verveine Café & Bakery, Cambridge, MA
Whitney Stancil | Cuvée at Chatham Inn, Chatham, MA
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Cosme | New York, N.Y.
Red Hook Tavern | Brooklyn, N.Y.
Sofreh | Brooklyn, N.Y.
Ostra | Boston, MA
State Road | Martha’s Vineyard, MA
OUTSTANDING WINE AND OTHER BEVERAGES PROGRAM
Chambers | New York, N.Y.
F.L.X. Table | Geneva, N.Y.
The Port of Call | Mystic, CT
Talulla | Cambridge, MA
OUTSTANDING BAR
Aldo Sohm Wine Bar | New York, N.Y.
Double Chicken Please | New York, N.Y.
Spoke Wine Bar | Somerville, MA
OUTSTANDING PROFESSIONAL IN BEVERAGE SERVICE
Nader Asgari-Tari | Zurito, Boston, MA
Alyssa Mikiko DiPasquale | The Koji Club, Boston, MA
Lee Campbell | Borgo, New York, N.Y.
Amy Racine | La Marchande, New York, N.Y.
OUTSTANDING PROFESSIONAL IN COCKTAIL SERVICE
Ivy Mix | Whoopsie Daisy, Brooklyn, N.Y.
Jesse Hedberg | Club Frills, Providence, R.I.
Kate Wise | Juniper Bar, Burlington, VT
Personal Responsibility, the Welfare State, and the Crisis of Modern Immigration
BY CATHERINE HILDERBRAND
THE ARCHITECT OF ECONOMIC LIBERTY: WHO WAS MILTON FRIEDMAN
To understand the intersection of personal responsibility and immigration, one must first understand the man who became the intellectual lighthouse for free-market capitalism in the 20th century. Milton Friedman (1912–2006) was not merely an academic; he was a revolutionary whose ideas dismantled the prevailing Keynesian orthodoxy of his time.
A graduate of Rutgers, the University of Chicago, and Columbia University, Friedman’s credentials are unparalleled. In 1976, he was awarded the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences
for his achievements in the fields of consumption analysis, monetary history and theory, and for demonstrating the complexity of stabilization policy. He was a lead member of the ‘Chicago School’ of economics, a tradition that emphasizes the efficiency of markets and the dangers of government intervention. His influence extended beyond the classroom into the highest reaches of government, where he served as an advisor to President Ronald Reagan and British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. His seminal works, Capitalism and Freedom (1962) and Free to Choose (1980)—the latter co-authored with his wife, Rose—argued that political freedom is inextricably linked to
economic freedom. For Friedman, the individual was the primary unit of society, and any system that eroded the individual’s responsibility for their own life was destined for moral and economic decay.
THE CORE PRINCIPLE: PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY AS A SOCIAL NECESSITY
At the heart of Friedman’s worldview is the concept of personal responsibility. To Friedman, responsibility was not a burden to be avoided, but a prerequisite for human dignity. In his writings, he argued that a society that prioritizes ‘social responsibility’ over ‘individual responsibility’ eventually loses both.
At the heart of Friedman’s worldview is the concept of personal responsibility. To Friedman, responsibility was not a burden to be avoided, but a prerequisite for human dignity. In his writings, he argued that a society that prioritizes ‘social responsibility’ over ‘individual responsibility’ eventually loses both.
Friedman famously identified four ways in which money can be spent:
n Spending your own money on yourself: You are highly incentivized to get the best price and the best quality.
n Spending your own money on someone else: You care about the price, but you are less concerned with the quality/utility of the gift.
n Spending someone else’s money on yourself: You care about the quality, but you have no incentive to minimize the cost.
n Spending someone else’s money on someone else: You have no incentive to care about the cost OR the quality.
Friedman identified the modern welfare state as a massive exercise in the fourth category. When the government taxes a citizen to provide benefits to another person—whether a citizen or a foreign national—the mechanism of personal responsibility is severed. The recipient loses the incentive to be productive, and the provider (the taxpayer) loses the fruits of their labor.
By allowing millions to enter and reside at the expense of the taxpayer, we are not being ‘generous’; we are being irresponsible with the capital—both financial and social— that was built by previous generations of hard-working, responsible individuals.
This disconnection is the fundamental lens through which we must view the current immigration crisis.
IMMIGRATION OF THE PAST: THE MARKET-DRIVEN MODEL
The history of the United States is often cited as a history of immigration, but as Friedman frequently noted, the economic environment of that immigration has changed fundamentally. In the 19th and early 20th centuries, America practiced what was essentially ‘free immigration.’ Millions arrived from Europe and elsewhere, often with no assets and no knowledge of English.
However, this immigration was governed by the harsh but fair laws of the market. During the Ellis Island era, there was no federal safety net. There were no food stamps, no subsidized housing, no Medicaid, and no birthright access to a massive bureaucratic welfare apparatus.
In this historical context, immigration was a self-selecting process. It attracted the ‘untrained’ but highly ‘motivated.’ Because there was no government handout, a new arrival had only three options: work, rely on private (voluntary) charity, or leave. This ‘workor-starve’ reality ensured that those who stayed contributed to the building of the nation’s railroads, factories, and cities. They were not a drain on existing citizens; they were partners in expanding the nation’s wealth. The immigrant provided labor, and the citizen provided the opportunity—an example of capitalism, for which our country is based—versus efforts to socialize or turn the U.S. into a Marxist society, which seems to be prevalent.
THE TURNING POINT: THE INCOMPATIBILITY OF WELFARE AND OPEN BORDERS
The fundamental problem we face today is the 180-degree shift in the incentives offered to new arrivals.
Friedman’s most famous dictum on this subject remains the most relevant: “It is one thing to have free immigration to jobs; it is another thing to have free immigration to welfare.” He argued that you cannot, in a modern state, have both free immigration and a welfare state. If you have a welfare state where every resident is entitled to a ‘minimum’ level of existence regardless of their contribution, and you have open borders, the country will eventually become bankrupt. It is not an emotional statement; it is an accounting reality.
In the past, the country was built by those who came to work. Today, the system is being strained by a paradigm shift where millions enter the country— often illegally—and are immediately met with a suite of taxpayer-funded services. When the state provides housing, healthcare, and education to those who have not contributed to the system, it is effectively ‘spending someone else’s money on someone else.’ It creates a ‘magnet effect,’ attracting not just the hard-working entrepreneur, but also those who are rationally responding to the offer of ‘Free’ resources.
Massachusetts is a perfect example of this explanation, and the burden put upon the system.
SUBSIDIZING FOREIGN NATIONS: THE ECONOMIC TRANSFER
From a Friedmanite perspective, the current situation where millions of ‘untrained and unmotivated’ individuals are admitted is a form of unintentional foreign aid. By taking in large numbers of people who are likely to be net consumers of tax revenue rather than net contributors, the United States is effectively subsidizing the social problems of foreign governments.
When a foreign nation’s citizens leave and begin collecting benefits in the U.S., the ‘safety valve’ for that foreign nation is released. They no longer have to fix their own internal economic or political failures because their most frustrated or
impoverished citizens are being cared for by the American taxpayer. Such actions do nothing to ‘build America.’ Instead, it dilutes the resources available to legal citizens, strains the ‘rules of the game’ (the law), and creates a permanent underclass dependent on the state—the very thing Friedman warned would destroy the American character.
THE MYTH OF THE ‘INVALID’ LAW
Arguments against enforcing immigration laws often rely on emotional appeals, suggesting that enforcement is ‘harsh’ or ‘antiimmigrant.’ However, Friedman’s philosophy suggests that the most compassionate thing a government can do is maintain the Rule of Law for the benefit of all.
In Capitalism and Freedom, Friedman notes that the government’s primary role is to protect the rights of its citizens and to enforce contracts. A country’s border is, in effect, a contract with its citizens. It is a promise that the nation’s resources, safety, and legal structures will be preserved for those who are part of the social agreement.
When the government refuses to enforce immigration laws, it is committing a breach of contract with its own citizens. Excuses regarding the difficulty of enforcement are economically invalid. If a business refuses to enforce its budget or its employment rules, it fails. A nation is no different. The focus must remain on the strength of the country and the rights of the citizens who build it and sustain it. It’s an explanation encompassed by common sense and analytics.
AN OBJECTIVE FOCUS ON NATIONAL STRENGTH
It is crucial to state that this is not an issue of race, religion, or national origin, or being inhuman. Rather, it is an issue of incentives and solvency. The goal of a Friedmanite immigration policy would be to return to a system that
Milton Friedman’s work serves as a stark warning for the 21st century. If we wish to remain a free and prosperous nation, we must reconnect the concepts of freedom and responsibility. We must recognize that the ‘generosity’ of the welfare state, when applied to those who have not entered into the legal contract of citizenship, is a recipe for national decline.
favors those who wish to be personally responsible—those wanting a better life for themselves and their families.
To maintain national strength and character, a country must ensure that its arrivals are a ‘plus’ to the economy. In the past, the ‘plus’ was guaranteed by the absence of welfare. Today, since the welfare state is a political reality that is unlikely to vanish overnight, the only logical recourse is the strict enforcement of immigration laws. We must distinguish between the ‘immigrant of the past,’ who came to create wealth, and the ‘playing the system’ mentality that arises when the state offers rewards for illegal entry. By allowing millions to enter and reside at the expense of the taxpayer, we are not being ‘generous’; we are being irresponsible with the capital—both financial and social—that was built by
previous generations of hard-working, responsible individuals.
Furthermore, acclimating to becoming a ‘contributor’ and ‘being an American’ while maintaining ethnicity is vital for establishing continuity and cohesiveness that bring people together, rather than keeping them separate or isolated from societal norms.
RETURNING TO FIRST PRINCIPLES
Milton Friedman’s work serves as a stark warning for the 21st century. If we wish to remain a free and prosperous nation, we must reconnect the concepts of freedom and responsibility. We must recognize that the ‘generosity’ of the welfare state, when applied to those who have not entered into the legal contract of citizenship, is a recipe for national decline.
The difference between the immigration of the past and the immigration of now is the difference between an investment and a liability. The past was an investment in human capital that required no government subsidy. The present is increasingly a liability that treats the American taxpayer as an inexhaustible resource for the world’s problems.
To honor the rights of citizens and to maintain the strength of the United States, the focus must return to the facts. We cannot be the world’s welfare office and remain a free society. As Friedman taught us, the choice is ours: we can have a welfare state or a free, open society built on personal responsibility. We cannot have both.
References
n Friedman, M. (1962). Capitalism and Freedom. University of Chicago Press. (Explores the role of government and the importance of individual agency).
n Friedman, M., & Friedman, R. (1980). Free to Choose. Harcourt Brace Jovanovich. (Detailed analysis of how the welfare state creates perverse incentives).
n Friedman, M. (1970). “The Social Responsibility of Business is to Increase its Profits.” The New York Times Magazine. (Discusses the misuse of “other people’s money” for social causes).
n The Friedman Foundation for Educational Choice. (Archived Lectures). “Milton Friedman on Immigration” (1990s). (Direct quotes regarding the incompatibility of the welfare state and open borders).
Models Wanted For Our Upcoming Issue ‘Spring Skiing’
We are planning to shoot a cover and story about the best party and the end-of-season conditions, which are just around the corner. No experience necessary, just a smile and a great personality.
Whether you’re a winter sports fanatic or are coming up for a girls’ weekend, this is your invitation to grace next month’s covers.
Join us for ‘Model-Day’ on the mountain. To learn more about this opportunity, send an email or text and introduce yourself and your friends.
DAY TRIPPING!
• Depart from New Bedford’s historic waterfront; a short walk to downtown New Bedford’s many restaurants, boutique shops, museums & galleries.
• Enjoy the gorgeous views of Buzzards Bay as you make your way to the laid back island of Cuttyhunk.
• Friday Night Sunset Cruises! Breathtaking scenery, comfortable accommodations, not to be missed excursion.
*WINTER: OCTOBER 14, 2025-APRIL 27, 2026
FOR
To get a ticket you must have a reservation through our online reservation system. No charge for children 2 years and younger. The office must be notified at the time of ticket purchase about each child 2 years and under that will be traveling with you, in order to accurately count all persons on board the vessel. Dogs, on leash, are welcome at no charge. For non-web or special group payments and for check, cash or different form of payment, please email reservations@cuttyhunkferryco.com or call 508.992.0200 You can leave a message and your reservation will be held.
NEW LISTINGS!
TWO DARTMOUTH HOMES YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS
197 Rockland St, South Dartmouth, MA: Welcome to this well-maintained 4-bedroom, 1-bath home on Rockland Street in desirable South Dartmouth, offering a flexible layout that’s move-in ready. The first floor features a spacious kitchen with stainless steel appliances, granite countertops, and pantry, plus a dining room, living room with a wood-burning fireplace, a renovated full bath (Sept. 2024), and two bedrooms, ideal for single-level living or a home office. Upstairs are two additional bedrooms providing privacy and versatility. Additional highlights include a two-car garage with storage and parking, along with a deck and patio for entertaining. Conveniently located minutes from Padanaram Village, local amenities, shopping, and coastal attractions, this home combines comfort and a sought-after location.
Exclusively listed with Lori Pacheco: (508) 951-4957.
10 Richard Alan Rd, North Dartmouth, MA: Enjoy the ease of single level living in this Dartmouth ranch. This home is ideally situated on a corner lot in a desirable neighborhood. The home offers three bedrooms and one full bath. The spacious living room offers a large picture window and plenty of natural light. The kitchen opens to a dining area that overlooks a private backyard with a patio, creating a comfortable flow for everyday living and entertaining. A finished basement adds extra living space with generous storage and a bar area. Additional features include hardwood floors throughout, a new roof, a two-car garage with extra storage, and a new central air condenser. Whether you’re a firsttime buyer or looking to personalize a home, this property offers great potential. Conveniently located to shopping, schools, Buttonwood Park Zoo, restaurants and Rt. 140.
Exclusively listed with Nona Sbordone: (508) 951-2429
250 Elm St. Padanaram Village, S. Dartmouth | (508) 999-1010 | annewhitingre.com
