I got engaged at Ashley Madison! One woman’s amazing story
profile
HGTV stars
Bryan &Â Sarah Baeumler
extreme couples Can danger zone activities spice up your relationship?
how to Team Decorate, home bar primer & Brave New spas!
Issue NO. 9
Contents
35
Issue No. 9
▶ features
44
▶ in every issue 04 About 2: Editor’s letter 07 Upfront: Surprising sex survey results, clone couples and more 13 Smug Marrieds: Advice from a couple who’ve been there
18
30
The Vows You Forgot to Make “I shall always put the seat down,” among others
35
If You Love Him, Throw Him Off a Bridge Why some couples love extreme sports
39
I Got Engaged at Ashley Madison Wedding planning while working at an infidelity website
44
The Tongue-in-Cheek Evolution of Love A cheeky look at love’s trajectory
18 2Profile: Bryan and Sarah Baeumler of HGTV’s House of Bryan 22 Instructions for Living: Get sexy with boudoir photography 25 Ed and Jenny: Cat blog 26 Experience: Learn to “Team Decorate”
2 2forcouples.com
39
114
7
74
▶ COUPLE MAKEOVER 51 Erin & Marcus: Sandals Whitehouse, Jamaica
▶ TRAVEL 63 Brave New Spas: The world’s wackiest ways to get a little RnR
93
63
▶ PARTY TRICKS 93 Amazing Tasting Menu 102 Good Tasting
▶ AT HOME 70
Hello, Neighbor: Meet Elana & Per
74 Home Tour: Flea-market-chic décor 86 Get the Look 89 Home Bar Essentials Build a home bar fit to impress Don Draper
▶ RECIPE FOR 2 110 La Tartine Gourmande Béatrice Peltre 114 Salmon and Watercress Quiche
▶ Backpage 118 5 Epic YouTube Proposals!
2forcouples.com 3
About 2
Editor’s Letter
issue of 2 For Couples! We have many great articles on relation ships and intimacy in this issue, including a tongue-in-cheek evolution of love, from five years to five decades, and a look at why some couples engage in extreme sports together—from paragliding to bungee jumping. We also have a fun interview with married couple Bryan and Sarah Baeumler, who not only star in HGTV’s hit series House Of Bryan together but also have three young children—and a
Welcome to a new
4 2forcouples.com
fourth on the way! How do they do it all, and still find time to travel together and go on date nights? Find out inside. Perhaps the most compelling piece this issue is from my colleague, Kate Drummond, who married earlier this summer. But where did she get engaged last year? Why, Ashley Madison of all places, the world’s leading website in extramarital affairs. Yes, at that point Kate was working at the “married dating site” while planning her own wedding. What a dichotomy. But Kate actually Maridav/istockphoto
learned some valuable lessons that she’s taken into her own marriage. Her piece is a must-read. We also have articles on melding decor tastes when you move in together, the world’s weirdest spa treatments, how to set up a home bar for entertaining and much more! Let us know what you think of the issue. Email feedback@2magazine.com or connect with us on Twitter and Facebook. 2day The ultimate blog for couples. Check back for daily stories about love, life and the latest celeb dish.
Editorial Director
Neil Morton neil@2magazine.com Creative Director
Lisa Walker lisa@2magazine.com Assistant Editor
Kate Drummond kate@2magazine.com editorial intern
Shannon Code Designer
Charles Kim charles@2magazine.com Creative Services
Karen Hall karen@2magazine.com President And Founder
apps Download the 2 for couples app for iPad! You’ll get this digital issue optimized for iPad, but you’ll also find handy extras like date night ideas and 2Life—a private space to share with your partner. Got an iPhone? Get the 2 for couples app for info on the go.
Diane Hall diane@2magazine.com Vice-President
Gerry Brown gerry@2magazine.com Published By
2 For Life Media Inc. 2ForCouples.com 416-469-1429 Ipad App Development
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What moves you? “For me it’s fantastic cooking and good fun. That’s why I got together with the T-Fal gang to design my stainless steel Professional Series. Tested in my restaurant kitchen, they’re incredibly tough—in your choice of nonstick or pure stainless. T-fal’s Thermo-Spot™ is a bit of genius too. It tells you when the pan’s hot and ready to seal in moisture and flavour. So get inspired. It’s cookware that moves you.”
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upfront
Could This Monthly Ritual help Your marriage?
⟹ Your wedding is one of the most
important milestones in your relation ship. So, why pop a bottle of bubbly to acknowledge this significant occasion only once a year? Dr. Paul E. Sago, a marriage coun selor and author of Planning Your Marriage: A Workbook Guide for Engaged and Married Couples, and his wife, Donna, celebrate their wedding anniversary every month—and have been for 21 happy years of marriage! Celebrating your anniversary monthly “keeps you aware of your wedding and how it happened and why,” says Dr. Sago. “It gives you an oppor tunity to talk about just yourselves, rather than your finances or the in-laws.”
cute anniversary idea! Here’s a neat way to document your ever-lasting love—and ever-changing hairdos! Each anniversary, snap a photo of you and your partner holding a photo of yourselves that was taken on the same day the previous year. You’ll end up with a lifetime of pictures within a picture. csa images
2forcouples.com 7
Upfront
r déco d tren
Come again?!
Bathtubs for couples!
⟹ Experience proves that the idea of
soaking in a tub with your sweetie is often more romantic than the back-spasminducing reality. Why not place two bathtubs side-by-side (these luxurious Agape soakers are on our wish list) so you can enjoy each other’s company and a calming bubble bath, without suffering lumbar injuries.
date night
8 2forcouples.com
Visit a record store
We love the ease of MP3 files, but you can’t deny the nostalgic appeal of vinyl. Browse records from artists new and old and share the evolution of your music preferences, from the first album you bought to what you dig today.
The findings are in from a Durex Sexual Well-Being Global Survey on Canadian sex, and, boy, are they revealing! The study found that 84 percent of men in Canada can reach an orgasm, while only 31 percent of women do. That’s almost three times more orgasms for men than for women! “The findings suggest the major ity of Canadian women simply ‘make do’ with a mediocre sex life,” says Jana Swedburg, brand manager of Durex Canada. “We also found that having great sex improves mood and reduces stress, indicating that a ful filling sex life is a key component to psychological well-being.” Despite the low numbers of women who say they orgasm, 69 percent of them claim to be sexually satisfied… which just kind of confuses things all the more. Marek Thelka (record); Russell Tate (rocket ship)
click for video
“Most know-how people only think about the big stuff: They’ll spend weeks deciding which refrig erator to buy, but don’t think twice about the thousands they’re spend ing on lattes each year.” finance
clone couples
There are clone couples and then there are extreme clone couples. Like Joey and Mel Schwanke, a couple from Nebraska that owns 146 custommade matching outfits and have been wearing them every day since about the mid-1970s. The sartorially synched couple have been married for 64 years and credit the success of their relationship in part to their matching wardrobes.
—David Bach, finance guru and author
couples clothing swap While coordinating his bowtie with her wildflower maxi skirt might be too matchy-matchy, you and your partner can share clothing, thanks to the ever-blurring lines between men and women’s fashion. Dare to share chambray this season with a gender-neutral button-down from Joe Fresh. 2forcouples.com 9
Upfront
Chris De Burgh was bang-on when he wrote his hit song “Lady in Red.” According to a recent study, men rate women why guys go wearing red as gaga for more interested Ladies in Red in sex and it might be linked to their association with the color red and fertility. The study’s author, Adam Pazda, explains, “When many primate females—from chimpanzees to types of baboons called mandrills—become fertile, their estrogen levels peak, opening up their blood vessels and turning their faces bright red. This flushed complexion seems to give males the signal that it’s time to make their move.” The same could be true for humans, Pazda says, explaining that men’s lust increases for women in red. “It doesn’t have to be a red dress or a sexy outfit,” he adds. “It can be a red T-shirt.” So remember that, ladies, the next time you want to turn on your man! 10 2forcouples.com
How Buster Boosts Your Happiness
⟹ Here’s some incentive to visit your
local animal shelter, doggone it! Research shows that cat- or dog-owning couples have closer relationships, experience higher levels of marital satisfaction and can better cope with stress than petless lovebirds. Petowning twosomes also had more social contact and those attached to their pets had the most interactions with their spouses, according to the findings.
—State University of New York at Buffalo Study
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smug marrieds
No-holdsbarred advice from a couple who’ve been there!
Happily married university sweethearts Derek Chezzi
and Angela Pacienza live in a leafy neighborhood with their super‑cute son and daughter. They are the envy of all their friends.
Russell Tate
Q:
My partner often talks to family and friends about our desire to have children, and he goes into strange detail including names he’s picked out. It’s starting to freak me out, but when I confront him about it, his response is “How can you not be excited about this!?”. 2forcouples.com 13
smug marrieds
Is it freaking you out because you don’t want to have children? Or because he’s setting high expectations before you even try to conceive and you fear you won’t be able to? Either way, you should speak with him. It sounds like he’s putting his excitement about an event that has yet to happen ahead of your feelings. Angela says…
I can only imagine what he might be telling strangers he meets on public transit. And I can say with pretty near certainty that nobody wants to hear random details about your preg nancy quest. It’s just bad form. If talking to him doesn’t cool the situation, perhaps it’s time to with hold services in the bed room until he stops being so gabby with the neighbors.
Derek says…
14 2forcouples.com
Q:
My partner some times works unpredictably late hours. I don’t mind except he doesn’t call to let me know when he’ll be home. He gets cranky if dinner isn’t ready when he hasn’t been able to get food before coming home, which sets off a fight and we end up not talking to one another for a few days. How do we break this cycle? How about you flip things around and send a text late afternoon asking about his schedule. It’s possible he’s stressed about work and he’s for getting his manners. Make your text light and breezy so he’s not feeling guilty about working late.
Is it possible that he’s simply pushing your buttons to stir the pot and get a rise out of you? And that maybe you enjoy it or, rather, what comes after? If so, this may go on until the end of your relationship and, if I may be so bold as to suggest, is part of the bond that keeps you together.
derek says…
Angela says…
click to Follow the Smugs on Twitter
@ smugmarrieds
CurvaBezier/istockphoto
“Only bring home new friends if you are willing to part with old ones.”
Q:
I have a serious shoe addiction. Shoes are spilling out of every closet in the house. And, while my spouse is being very patient with me, I worry I’m one pair of stilettos away from a major marital rift. My main rule is, “One comes in; one goes out.” Tidy up
Angela says…
Michelle Gibson/istockphoto
your closets and take stock of your collection. Then donate what doesn’t fit and only bring home new friends if you’re willing to part with old ones. Are you secretly seeking an intervention or do you simply want a pass from your partner to accumu late more footwear?
derek says…
If you haven’t already done so, designate a specified space for your collection and edit it to fit that square footage. Give the overflow to charity. You’ll feel a lot better knowing it’s under control. If that doesn’t work, I know the number of a climate-controlled storage service that charges reasonable rates. 2forcouples.com 15
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2 profile
Bryan & Sarah Baeumler We take you inside the world of the stars of HGTV’s House Of Bryan series. by Shelley White 18 2forcouples.com 18 2forcouples.com
Bryan Baeumler,
host of Disaster DIY and Leave It To Bryan (airing now on HGTV Canada), has starred with his wife, Sarah, on two seasons of courtesy HGTV Canada
House of Bryan—one documenting the process of the couple building their dream home; the other, their fantasy cottage in the wilds of Georgian Bay. And he is currently filming the second sea son of Leave It To Bryan. If all that isn’t enough to keep them busy, the couple also have three young children (Quintyn, Charlotte and Lincoln) and are expecting a fourth in December. We caught up with the Baeumlers to find out how they juggle it all.
⚭ On how they met:
“We went to the same high school. I was in grade nine and he was a little older.” bryan says… “Sarah’s sister is the same age as me and was dating a good friend of mine, so I would see her around.” sarah says…“We always sarah says…
“When he gets tickets for the ballet, he’s saying, ‘I’m putting you first.’” —sarah
traveled in the same circles and then it was after university when we were both working—” bryan says… “—Ten years later when she was legal.” sarah says… [Laughing] “Bryan asked me out. There was a group email and I was on it, and he sent a quick email saying, ‘How’s it going? How’s your sister?’”
⚭ On their first date:
“It was a very innocent, ‘If I’m in the neighborhood, we’ll grab a coffee one day.’ I don’t know how the hell it turned into a $200 sushi Bryan says…
dinner and a night at The Lion King.” sarah says… “It was one of those dates where you already felt like you knew the person so well. We sort of jumped from getting to know one another to already feeling comfortable. Then we went to Georgian Bay where we just built our cottage [House of Bryan: On the Rocks].” bryan says… “That was our second date.” sarah says… “So, that’s why we fell in love with that area and it means a lot to both of us because we’ve been up there since the beginning of our relationship.” bryan says… [Laughing] “I have a lot invested in that area.”
⚭ On their wedding:
“It was like Will and Kate’s.” bryan says…
2forcouples.com 19
2profile Bryan and sarah Baeumler
[Laughing] “We had a small wedding. We were pretty adamant that we wanted only close family and friends. It was beautiful.” sarah says…
⚭ On the best gifts
they’ve exchanged:
“This is a hard question because he’s going to say I don’t get him anything.” bryan says… “What did you give me as a wedding sarah says…
20 2forcouples.com
present?” sarah says…“My
love for ever and ever. What more could you ask for?” bryan says… “You got me a gift card once.” sarah says… [Laughing] “My favorite gift from Bryan is when we go to the ballet. He does not have a love for it. But he will go and sit through it.” bryan says… “And take a little nap...” sarah says… “When he
gets tickets for the ballet, he’s saying, ‘I’m putting you first. I don’t want to do this, but I know how important it is to you.’”
⚭ On keeping their
relationship har monious during all the renos and builds they’ve been through: “We fight a lot. I shouldn’t say a lot, but we’ve had some good zingers.” bryan says…
courtesy HGTV Canada
“I’m always amazed when people make comments about how we argue or things we fight about because I can’t picture a couple going through such a huge build together—emotionally and financially—and not arguing.” bryan says… “With the first house, Sarah’s idea of home-building was that I leave every morning and come home with a mitt full of money and some body has a house. So, when it was up close and personal, it was a shock for her how chaotic it is and how quickly decisions have to be made and how much money goes flying out the door.” sarah says… “We sort of learned to pick our battles—what is important and worth arguing about and what two years down the road we won’t think sarah says…
“We fight a lot. I shouldn’t say a lot, but we’ve had some good zingers.” —bryan
is a big deal. With the first home, every item was a huge deal. By the time we got to the cottage, I had learned a lot about what was worth fighting for and what just to let go.”
⚭ On life with three
kids (and another on the way): “I don’t know how that happened!” bryan says… “I say ‘Yes dear’ a lot… and I drink.” sarah says… [Laughing] “A big family is nice to come home to. And with Bryan being in the public eye, his family is impor tant. That’s his escape from the television world. A big welcoming family is something he looks forward to.” bryan says… “I get attack ed when I get home. The sarah says…
kids come running and it’s fun.”
⚭ On how they like
to spend “couple time”:
“Food’s always a big thing. We like to enjoy a good meal with friends.” bryan says… “We travel when I do appearances and when it’s Regina or Prince Albert, Sarah’s usually busy, unfortun ately. But when it’s New York City or Miami or Vancouver, her schedule miraculously opens up.” sarah says… “I’m right there!” bryan says… “We like to travel and explore, especially New York City.” sarah says… “It’s one of our favorite spots.” sarah says…
2forcouples.com 21
instructions for living
Get Sexy With Boudoir Photography
22 2forcouples.com
Photographer Scarlet O’Neill dishes on the hottest trend in portraiture: confidenceboosting boudoir shoots. —Kate Drummond
“Sexy isn’t always about how much you show, it’s how you show it!”
2:
Why has boudoir photography become so popular? Scarlet O’Neill: As women, we spend end less amounts of time and money pampering ourselves with beauty products and services, clothing, accessories, fitness and even plastic surgery to make ourselves feel beautiful. Investing in portraiture of our selves lets us capture and document our beauty to treasure for a lifetime. 2:
Why do you love shoot ing boudoir sessions? O’neill: I am endlessly inspired by the power scarlet O’Neill
and beauty of women. It’s all about flattering your best features to show you how beautiful you are. It’s about paying tribute to and honoring women’s beauty. It’s very em powering. 2:
What if some women are a little shy about posing in the buff? O’neill: Sexy isn’t always about how much you show, it’s how you show it! 2:
Do boudoir shots make good birthday or anni versary gifts? O’neill: They make very romantic gifts that a significant other will
cherish for a lifetime. But you have to do it for yourself first. It shows if you aren’t a hundred percent comfortable. 2:
What should women bring to a boudoir shoot? O’neill: A variety of lin gerie, including camisoles, garters, corsets and vin tage nightgowns. And don’t forget the power of being playful. Sometimes a tight T‑shirt and boy briefs can be perfect! If you’re thinking of sharing your photos with your partner, bring a piece of their favorite apparel, like a shirt and tie or a sports jersey—he’ll love it! 2forcouples.com 23
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Ed and Jenny
watch their (mis)adventures
click for video
tV illustration: tarras79
tV illustration: tarras79 2forcouples.com 25
experience
How We Learned To “Team Decorate” Writer Julia Zarankin and her hubby find a way to mesh their clashing tastes.
26 2forcouples.com
danilo sanino/istockphoto
Leon gave me a tour of his apartment, I noticed a plastic alligator in his bathroom and imagined it would find a respectable mate in my green rubber lizard. When I returned to spend the night, lizard in tow, the reptilian creatures instantly bonded. This auspicious beginning gave me the illusion that our aesthetic tastes would blend seamlessly when we moved in together. I should have known better. He proudly displayed his Texas longhorn, Samurai sword, one hundred stone elephants, a framed unicorn poster and glow-in-the-dark pictures of the Eiffel Tower. A plush four-foot tiger and leopard duo even graced his living room (with matching tiger towels in the bathroom). And yet the repercussions of his decorating tastes didn’t sink in until I became a fulltime resident in his home. I assumed that he would be eager to redecorate his bachelor pad and would wel come my more urbane taste. I was moving in with a piano, an imperial Russian porcelain The first time
Elena Butinova/istockphoto
The pièce de résistance: a wall hanging con sisting of a gun, sword and non descript medieval crest sewn onto a grey Persianstyle rug. tea set, antique maps of Italy, original Mexican folk art, Kandinsky prints and St. Petersburg cityscapes. “You must be excited to get rid of this bedroom set,” I said. “What do you mean?” he asked. “Your beige faux-marble plastic bed frame has matching bedside tables, a set of drawers and a standing closet.” “What’s wrong with that?” “Have you seen the little diamonds encrusted on every drawer?” I couldn’t keep my voice from escalating. “I picked it out myself,” he said, retreating into his fan tasy novel. 2forcouples.com 27
experience
Then there was the living room pièce de résistance: a wall hanging consisting of a gun, sword and nondescript medieval crest sewn onto a grey Persian-style rug. When I suggested moving his weightlifting paraphernalia—including seven kettlebells, ranging in weight from 16 to 40 kilograms—to our storage locker to make room for a dining room table, Leon had a better idea: Why not move my piano to the basement instead? I retaliated with tears, “your-stuff-isugly” statements, and an ultimatum that ended with a line I instantly regretted: “I didn’t sign-up to live with furry animals and paintings of Paris and seascapes purchased at Costco!” Compatible in almost every other way, my future husband and I had serious interior decorating issues. So, I developed a new strategy. In stead of demanding that Leon part with his beloved accoutrements and pointing out every item I fantasized about dis carding, I focused my attention on things we both liked. The only non-negotiable items were the glow-in-the-dark images of the Eiffel Tower; he handed them over 28 2forcouples.com
to his parents im mediately and without explanation. The less I attacked his stuff, the more he warmed up to my artwork on the walls and even began offering to replace some of his formerlycherished items. Don’t get the wrong idea: a Texas longhorn and a coquettishlooking unicorn still hang directly above my computer and a stuffed tiger lies at my feet while I work. Four years into our marriage I still don’t love them, but I’ve learned to smile at them, knowing how happy they make my husband. As we began traveling together, I detected overlap in our aesthetic tastes. Thinking of our plastic reptiles that continued to cohabitate blissfully in our bathroom equipped me with confidence to begin shopping together. We bought a vase, a lamp, a desk and patio furniture. Recently, we embarked on our first communal painting purchase and I feared he would gravitate toward another fan tastical creature with a sword at its feet. But in the end, it took ten minutes for us to settle on something we both loved. And the best part? The painting bears no relationship to the animal world. Sascha Burkard/istockphoto
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features
the
vows you forgot to make
You promised to love and cherish your partner, but what about the other essential elements that make for a happy marriage? Here are 11 “vows” every couple should add to their “I do’s”. by Siski Green
30 2forcouples.com
vow
vow
#1
#2
I shall not say “I can fix it!” if I am not a plumber/carpenter/ electrician by trade I shall not let our dog sleep between us in the bed
Tile that bathroom yourself and you’ll save
a tidy little packet of cash. Pay someone else to do it and you’ll save yourself some grief and a potential injury. There’s more to a DIY home improvement injury than getting sawdust in your eye—there’s also the bruised pride caused by having to pay someone to fix the mess you made!
Threesomes aren’t
all they’re cracked up to be, especially when one of you is hairy all over and has serious dog breath. “Allowing a pet to sleep in your bed each night can be an effective form of contraception,” says sexologist Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, author of The Better Sex Guide to Extraordinary Lovemaking. “Because, really, who wants to have sex with the dog watching?!”
vow
#3
I shall never eat the left overs without asking first
A leg of roast chicken, a bowl of potato
salad, the last of the chocolate ice cream— you go to the fridge with taste buds all a-tickle, only to discover someone else got there first. Grrrr. “On an instinctive level, seeing your partner hoard food for themselves makes you feel uncared for—even if you didn’t really want the bowl of potato salad in the first place,” says sex therapist Dr. Ian Kerner. Stick to this rule: Ask first, eat later.
2forcouples.com 31
vow
#4
I shall honor and respect your need for hour-long sessions in the bathroom Both women and men are
known as bathroom-hoggers, usually for different reasons. But you don’t need to hear the details, do you? So let’s just close the bathroom door on this discussion.
vow
#5
I shall always put the seat down Every couple bickers about
bathroom etiquette. “Stubble in the sink, not replacing the toilet roll and leaving the seat up are all common complaints,” says Fulbright. “It’s not so much the act that’s upsetting, but the frequency of it. Something small can become a major issue if someone does it often and doesn’t respond to reminders.”
vow
#6
I shall always call you by your first name, not “Mommy” or “Daddy”
32 2forcouples.com
Parenthood invades every aspect of your
life: sleep suffers, mealtimes are fraught, even using the bathroom alone becomes something to strive for. “Try to maintain some semblance of yourselves as individuals,” says Kerner. “So, avoid calling each other ‘Mommy’ or ‘Daddy’ unless you’re speaking directly to your children.” There’s no denying that you change when you have kids, but the new you isn’t all mom or all dad, either. Leave room for the lover/best friend/sex fiend in you, too.
vow
#7
vow
I shall continue to wear match ing underwear for the dura tion of our marriage, even when nursing our children
“maternity wear” was once synonymous
with “huge and elasticized.” But now, with maternity underwear brands such as HotMilk and EvyMama available, there really is no excuse. So stay sexy, Mama!
vow
I shall not laugh at your diaperchanging/babyholding/lullabysinging skills
#8
Giggle at his inability to undo your new
maternity bra, by all means, but do not mock his parenting skills. Because if you want to be one of those lucky moms who say the father of their child changes his fair share of diapers, you need to provide positive reinforcement.
#9
Thou shalt love and cherish my body in all its forms Dripping with sweat
after a workout, bloated like a beached whale after Christmas dinner or suffering with cankles during pregnancy— whatever state a woman’s body is in, it deserves a partner’s love. “While you can’t expect your partner to be your only source of body confidence, it’s important you feel physically attractive to each other,” says Fulbright. “Touch is obviously a great way to show this, but tell her, too—sometimes a woman just needs to hear those words.”
2forcouples.com 33
vow
#10
I shall graciously accept that we must spend vastly different sums of money on our hair
the average man shaves every other
day and has short hair that needs frequent cutting. The average woman has longer hair that needs cutting less frequently. And yet, women typically spend more money on coiffuremaintenance than men do. “Accepting that you each place different values on certain services or products is important,” says Kerner. “A pricy haircut might seem like an extravagance to you, but to someone else it’s as essential to self-esteem as a night out with friends—it builds confidence.”
vow
Men make riskier investments than women, as a
rule. You might assume that means they tend to get bigger returns, too, but according to finance professors at UC Davis Graduate School of Management, women investors actually earn better returns after accounting for these risk differences because women tend to trade less actively than men. So what do you do if your partner flubs your finances? “As long as he doesn’t take risks without your knowledge, you should be supportive,” says Kerner. “His intentions were to provide for your future together—he just needs to learn to do it in a less risky way.”
34 2forcouples.com
#11
I promise to commiserate with you when we lose on the stock market
features
If You Love Him Throw Him Off A Bridge
From paragliding to bungee jumping, writer Steff Moore and her husband enjoy doing exhilarating activities together. She explains why certain couples engage in such pursuits, some bordering on dangerous.
Geoffrey Holman
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e arrived at a summer barbecue a couple of hours late. Whenever friends asked us where we’d been, my husband explained we’d been at the local beach taking a paragliding course. Another friend asked if we’d be free for lunch the next day, but we had to decline, as it clashed with our medieval sword fighting class. Our friends exchanged worried glances. The discussion turned to celebrating milestone birthdays, and my husband revealed that for his 30th birthday, I’d bought him a bungee jump: he was thrown off the Auckland Harbour Bridge with only a springy cord attached. Our friends could conclude only one thing: I was trying to kill my husband. What makes a couple indulge in such seemingly dangerous activities? Are we simply trying to keep the spark alive, or do we really enjoy the sheer thrill of watching our lover jump off high places attached to a giant kite? Is it a ploy to collect on my husband’s life insurance policy? Relationship expert John Powers says it’s all about sharing experiences.
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The author’s husband, James, prepares to meet his fate.
Our friends could conclude only one thing: I was trying to kill my husband.
“People engage in extreme sports because of the adrenaline rush they get from those activities. To see your partner experienc ing the same event at the same time gives you a shared sensation and creates connectivity between you. A couple that plays together stays together.”
C
ould our love of extreme sports be an innate instinct left over from prehistoric days? In the quest for survival, the men and women who could wrestle a saber-toothed tiger and swing from vine to vine across the jungle would have been the most desirable mates. Displaying your strength and endurance was probably a way of earning status amongst your peers and the admiration and desire of the opposite sex. Plus, doing something wild with your partner is a total turn-on. Powers explains that the endorphins released during extreme sports are the same endorphins experienced in sexual activity. “Primal urges are satisfied and incredible sensuality is experienced when you share these activities with someone you are
The endorphins released during extreme sports are the same endorphins experienced in sexual activity. attracted to.” Just between you and me, my post-paragliding experience definitely supports Powers’s theory. So when I wave at my husband from the harness of my glider, more than 50 feet in the air, I’m essentially telling him that (a) I think he’s hot, and (b) If needs arose, I could totally handle that sabertoothed tiger. Our extreme adventures have created many happy memories and definitely give us something to talk about at summer barbecues. Taking a pottery class together doesn’t really have the same effect for us. 2forcouples.com 37
3 adrenaline Rush Worthy Activities Here are some other great extreme sports for couples to check off their bucket list by Steff Moore
Skydiving: There’s nothing more intimate than leaping from a plane and plum meting toward earth with your significant other. Skydiving combines super-fast speeds, perilous heights and spectacular views in an adrenaline rush that can’t be beat. Your first skydive will probably be a tandem with an instructor, but after that you’d be able to complete a course together so you can skydive as a couple.
Off-Roading: Taking a 4x4 vehicle off-road allows you to experience the beauty of the wilderness—as you roll over it and crush it under your mighty wheels. Don’t make the mistake of thinking off-roading is a tame activity; until you’ve been in a vehicle stuck in a raging river with water pouring through the windows, you’ve got no right to say anything! Off-roading can be a great activity for couples, as you need to work together to figure out how to navigate obstacles.
Trapeze: Circus arts are making a comeback in many urban centers as a fun way to keep fit, and top of the list for adrenaline junkies is the trapeze. Swing high into the air and fly into your partner’s arms—just hope they’re paying attention! Most circus arts centers offer trapeze classes for couples, and in your very first lesson you’ll learn how to swing from your feet and do a simple catch. 38 2forcouples.com
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features
I Got Engaged
Our Assistant Editor, Kate Drummond, planned her wedding while working for “likeminded” the famous cheating partners. Here site where unhappy are some lessons this spouses seek newlywed learned while affairs with working there that she’s applied to her own relationship.
At Ashley Madison
flyparade
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I
smiled as I pushed open the front door of my office and caught a glimpse of the diamond ring glittering on my left hand. It was my first time wearing it to work since my boyfriend’s romantic marriage proposal. My smile dimmed as I steeled myself for what lay beyond those doors: the head offices of Ashley Madison, the world’s leading website in extramarital affairs. Talk about a bride-to-be’s ultimate buzz kill. That’s right, I got engaged while working for a “married dating site,” where unhappy spouses seek affairs with “likeminded” partners. As news spread throughout the day, coworkers congratulated me on my engagement, as did my boss, Noel Biderman. While I felt his well wishes were sincere, I couldn’t help but wonder if, as President and CEO of Ashley Madison, he saw my fiancé and me as potential future customers. I started working at Avid Life Media— Ashley Madison’s parent company— in 2009 as a customer service represent ative for Hot or Not, one of the company’s online dating properties. In 2011, I got
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promoted to work as a quality assurance analyst for Ashley Madison. While I wasn’t entirely comfortable working on a product—discreet affairs—that didn’t jibe with my values, I accepted the promotion and settled into my new role, compromised scruples and all. I became increasingly uncomfortable about working for the site once my fiancé and I started planning our wedding— and our marriage. Though many of my colleagues were (seemingly) happily married men and women, it felt daunting to be on the cusp of such a serious, exciting, mysteri ous journey while working for a company that promoted infidelity. It was a jarring trans ition to spend my weekends absorbed in wedding planning bliss, only to return to the smutty business of adultery come Monday morning. Were the newlyweds on bridal blogs fated to become Ashley Madison members? I imagined the dapper grooms trying to
impress other men’s wives by posting photos of themselves posing shirtless and flexing in front of their bathroom mirrors. I envisioned the blushing brides as forty-something housewives, clandestinely sending photos of their décolletage to men half their age.
W
ould my husband and I sink to such seedy depths when we hit bumps in the road? Ideally, we would try to work through our issues and seek professional help from a marriage counselor. Or we’d attend sex workshops together and stock up on new lingerie. You know, work things out the oldfashioned way—not by running around the internet swapping photos of our bits with strangers, hoping for connection with someone who is equally dissatisfied in their marriage and not willing or able to leave or resolve things. That’s what we would do, right? We all know that affairs happen, but one of the things that I found most surprising during my time at Ashley Madison (aside from the staggering number of middle-aged folks who up load naked photos of themselves on the
The site’s motto “Life is Short. Have an Affair.” likens cheating to something you should check off your bucket list. internet) was how many people use the service. The site has nearly 15 million members worldwide. I’m not suggesting they’ve all had affairs or even plan to; some members might even be in open relationships where both partners consent to extramarital flings. But that’s still a heck of a lot of folks flirting with the idea of breaking their marriage vows. I also had a hard time stomaching the grim messaging that the company’s marketing team churned out about the (un)sanctity of marriage. Take the site’s motto, for example: “Life is Short. Have an Affair.” It seems to liken betraying your spouse to bungee jumping or skydiving—a daredevil rush to check off your bucket list. The most offensive Ashley Madison 2forcouples.com 41
print ad that appeared during my time there featured a Rubenesque female model posing in red and black lingerie with the caption “Did Your Wife Scare You Last Night?” Right, so don’t get fat because your obese body will literally
Reading the profiles of real spouses whose relationships were in distress gave me insight into why some marriages fail.
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terrify your husband, thereby giving him license to woo someone else’s (hotter, thinner, preferably younger) wife, whose un-scary body is enticing and reminds him of how you used to look. Working amidst such anti-monogamy rhetoric didn’t make me question my commitment to my fiancé. But it, coupled with the members’ depressing profile content (why they used the site; the aforementioned nudie pics), spawned gutwrenching day-mares of the endless ways our marriage could shatter, before we had even booked our honeymoon flights. A couple of months after our engagement, I started to see the benefit of being exposed to millions of miserable spouses. There were common laments in the users’ profiles as to why their current unions were unsatisfying: communication breakdown, sexless marriages and a lack of respect or appreciation from their par tner, to name a few. Reading the profiles of real spouses whose relationships were in distress gave me insight into why some marriages fail. Some hook-up hopefuls explicitly stated in their profiles that they were seeking discreet, no-strings-attached sex.
But there were many others who said they came to the site because they felt lonely in their marriage and craved friendship and companionship from a romantic partner. Those were the profiles that saddened me the most. As Dr. John M. Gottman explains in his book, The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work, “these trysts are usually not about sex but about seeking friendship, support, understanding, respect, attention, caring and concern— the kind of things that marriage is sup posed to offer.” Gottman adds that “80 percent of divorced men and women said their marriage broke up because they gradually grew apart and lost a sense of closeness, or because they did not feel loved and appreciated.” If we understood the triggers that can threaten a marriage, maybe my husband and I would be spared the disgrace of ever creating an Ashley Madison profile, the depraved darkness concealing our shame as we log-on from the basement of our
future family home in the middle of the night. It’s kind of like rust-proofing a brand new Lamborghini: You protect this rare, valuable and precious thing right from the beginning, caring for it daily before signs of corrosion can begin to emerge. And if you do spot signs of rust, you take that beautiful, streamlined baby straight to the body shop (a.k.a. couples therapy) for a fresh coat of paint. Aside from the nature of my job, it wasn’t such a terrible workplace. I earned a fair salary, and we got free lunches every other Wednesday and beer on Fridays. But regardless of how much I liked my coworkers or the boozy end-of-week afternoons, I knew that I wasn’t being faithful to myself by continuing to work for a cheaters’ site. Now I’m here at 2 for Couples, and it’s a lot easier to get out of bed in the morning knowing that I work for a com pany that strives to improve couples’ relationships, rather than one that profits by their demise.
We’d love to hear your thoughts! Join the conversation on facebook.
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features
the
) k e e h c n i e u g n n (to o ti
u l o v E e v of Lo
You can’t freeze your relationship in the puppy stage, so you’d better come to terms with what’s around the bend. by clara kent
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r
elationships are like puppies: They start off all cute and frisky and you can’t get enough of their antics. But then they grow, and some days walking them feels like a chore. Occasionally they start to shed (weak reference to male pattern baldness) or act like a real female dog (weak reference to the B-word). But, at the end of the day, you love your stinky old mutt like crazy. Here’s a cheeky look at love’s trajectory.
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MORNING BREATH
You sneak out of bed to secretly brush your teeth, lest they should get a whiff of what has developed overnight.
You’re familiar with the full spectrum of their oral bouquets.
Even the most offensive morning breath is positive, because it signifies that s/he is still breathing.
BATHROOM HABITS
Neither of you has to do a #2. Ever. At least, you’re not letting on that you do.
A #2 doesn’t even necessitate closing the bathroom door.
Every day starts with a spirited discussion of consistency, frequency and volume.
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SNORING
“He snores? No biggie. I can deal because I loooove him.”
“IF HE SNORES TONIGHT, I’M GOING TO KILL HIM!!!”
“Wish this hearing loss had kicked in sooner.”
sex
Sex happens anywhere, anytime and anyhow.
The “sex window” is weekdays between 6 and 8 p.m., Boxing Day and alternating weekends.
The only hot blow you’re getting is at the hair salon.
dwelling
You’re looking for a one-bedroom apartment. Nothing fancy.
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You’re looking for a four-bedroom house with a yard, a pool, parking for two SUVs, plus space to accommodate your 75-inch flat screen TV.
See “5 months.”
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communication
Your heart flutters the first time he calls you “baby.”
“Baby” isn’t quite so romantic when she throws it into a sentence like, “Baby, you bought the wrong tampons! AGAIN.”
You know each other so well that words are seldom used at all. Communication is a combination of grunts, snorts and telepathy.
EXERCISE
Marathon nookie sessions are standard.
You’re training to run a marathon together.
Chasing the grandkids around the house feels like a marathon.
PREGNANCY
You’re doing everything you can to not get pregnant.
You’re doing everything you can to get pregnant.
You’re spending a lot of time discussing the fact that your teen granddaughter had better not get pregnant.
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EATING HABITS
Typical meals include: risotto soaked in truffle oil, craft beer and artisan burgers.
Typical meals include: grilled chicken on a bed of dry greens, low-fat smoothies and Lean Cuisine.
Typical meals include: Metamucil.
SEX POSITIONS
There isn’t a position you won’t try.
Your routine is more choreographed than the six-thousandth performance of Chicago: The Musical.
Positions must be submitted to the doctor (with detailed schematics) for official approval.
DATE NIGHT
A great date is going to the country fair, like Noah and Allie in The Notebook.
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A great date is staying in with microwave popcorn and watching The Notebook.
A great date is being as in love as the couple at the end of The Notebook. Only without the dying bit.
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Couple Makeover
Erin & Marcus We surprised this lucky couple with a fab new wardrobe and sent them packing to the unspoiled South Coast of Jamaica for a no-holds-barred getaway at Sandals Whitehouse, the epitome of all-inclusive luxury.
Click for Video
Photography by James pattyn written by milena canizares Styling by by Chris Tyrell and Jim Searle hair and makeup by gabriela soares
5 things you need to know about this attached-at-the-hip twosome:
1
They lived in Bermuda for three years— relishing the diversity and tropical weather that can only come with the island lifestyle— and have quite the affinity for tree frogs.
2
Most couples keep a social calendar, but Erin and Marcus keep a dining black board. From new and hip restaurants to try to tonight’s supper at home, this couple is never left wondering, “What’s for dinner?”.
in with the new As they approach their first wedding anniversary, Erin and Marcus are ready for a much-needed style update, complete with workand play-ready wardrobes that suit their age, style and new-found urban environment.
3 4
Marcus is constantly singing a new tune (songs he’s made up, of course).
Erin is a clean freak. She’s even gone so far as to follow Marcus around the apart ment, sponge in tow (kidding—well, sort of).
5
When they first started dating, Marcus brought Erin a different colored rose each and every weekend he went to visit her.
sandals whitehouse, jamaica Located on the South Coast of Jamaica, the oceanfront Sandals Whitehouse resort is a true hideaway, a luxury all-inclusive, offering only the best. Tennis, volleyball, outdoor chess, sailing and scuba diving are just some of the fun-in-the-sun activities that Sandals offers. For some serious R&R, the Red Lane® Spa offers mineral-salt scrubs, nourishing mud wraps and hot-stone massages. 52 2forcouples.com
To revamp their style, we sent Erin and Marcus to World Salon in Toronto. We dyed Erin’s hair a deep, warm brown to play up her light eyes and make her skin glow. For Marcus, we removed weight from his hair and shortened the back and sides, cleaning up his look and giving it more structure.
The Red Lane® Spa, a true sanctuary for relaxation and rejuvenation, takes classic European rituals and reinterprets them with distinctive Caribbean flair. A unique sense of tran quility and a selection of exclusive services and botanical products make for the ultimate spa experience.
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Outdoor massage by the sea at Sandals Whitehouse.
Relaxing at Red Lane速 Spa.
Thanks to Sandals’ Island Routes Adventure Tours, Erin and Marcus venture out of the resort to explore some of the local attractions and sample delicious local fare.
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After a scenic trek along the South Coast of Jamaica on their Island Routes Adventure tour, Erin and Marcus bask in the rapids at YS Falls. Underwater caves, waterfalls and Tarzan-like rope-swinging bring out the kid in anyone.
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At Sandals Whitehouse, the scenic South Coast of Jamaica is the perfect backdrop for water sports, such as aquatrykes, sailing, windsurfing and kayaking.
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In search of the perfect anniversary cocktail, Erin got a little help from Sandals. A mix of apricot liqueur, peach liqueur, pineapple juice, a splash of lime juice and cranberry juice, coconut rum and Appleton rum, Erin and Marcus’s “Coconut Crush” was a tasty tropical treat.
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To get them into the swing of things, Sandals arranged a pan lesson for Erin and Marcus.
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Their penthouse suite at Sandals Whitehouse, with not only the comfiest bed and a spectacular view, but personalized butler
Marcus enjoys a cooking lesson.
The butler serves breakfast on the terrace.
One of the many highlights of our makeover couple’s stay: a delicious anniver sary dinner, served on the beach at sunset.
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Click for Video
After a fun-filled makeover week, Erin and Marcus are ready to rock their up dated looks back at home.
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TRAVEL
brave
new
spas
Throw your pampering precepts out the window. From soaking in a tub of warm beer in Bohemia to getting rubbed all over with golf balls in Cali, it seems the Zen dens of the future will be playing a lot less pan flute music. by Mike Dojc
travel brave new spas
Along with relieving muscle pain and erasing memories of that disastrous triple bogey on the back nine, this massage will also loosen up your swing and leave you feeling more relaxed in your stance.
Benefits Claimed:
Golf Ball Massage
T
hink of this après-golf rubdown as Rollersage’s dimpled cousin. After you’ve chased spheres down fairways and hunted for strays in the woods all day, wouldn’t it be cool of them to pay you back for your valiant attempts to leave no ball behind? Well, at The Resort at Pelican Hill in Newport Beach, California, your wayward Callaways and Titleists will make it up to you for all their awkward bounces with a golf ball massage. And at Ahhhmmm Massage Therapy in Thousand Oaks, California, therapist Heather Karr has designed a special caddy for her golf massage balls to allow for deeper tissue massage. 64 2forcouples.com
courtesy of Pelican Hill
Cryotherapy
P
hysiotherapists, pro team docs and Dr. Mom know that icing a boo-boo after a sports injury is a smart idea, and endur ing a deep, full-body chill can have a similarly soothing effect. Forget about the staid cold room as a bracing waypoint on a steam, sauna, hot-tub circuit. At the Sparkling Hill Resort in Vernon, B.C., you can feel what it’s like to be Ted Williams’s frozen corpse. Think of cryotherapy as the polar opposite of standing in a hot yoga studio: experience a -110°C arctic blast for three minutes. While you only wear a swimsuit during the procedure, your extremities are protected with a toque, gloves and shoes.
Refreshes the nervous and circulatory sys tems, lessens the pain associated with osteoporosis and rheumatoid arthritis and improves muscle function.
Benefits Claimed:
courtesy of sparkling hill resort
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travel brave new spas
Benefits Claimed:
Psychic Massage
Leave debilitating fears and other emotional baggage behind and allow a renewed conscious ness to take hold. It’s a relaxation one-two punch, healing your body and your mind.
I
f Charles Xavier (the X-Men’s majordomo) worked at a spa, this would totally be his bag. Psychic massage pairs gentle body work with an energy reading that analyzes the patterns of your mind as they present themselves on your body. Your therapist will read your psychic energy and impart some insight (that kink in your neck could be stymieing your creative flow), and then wipe your slate clean with an energy-balancing massage. This is one of many unique treatments offered at Mii amo in Sedona, Arizona, which was voted Travel + Leisure’s #1 Destination Spa in the World in readers’ surveys in 2007 and 2009.
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courtesy of Mii amo
Aside from doing wonders for your complexion and adding luster to your hair, beer baths are believed to relieve stress, relax muscles and act as a curative balm to a host of skin ailments, including eczema and psoriasis.
Benefits Claimed:
I
n the basement of Chodovar Brewery’s Beer Wellness Land, a two-hour jaunt west of Prague, Czechoslovakia, stainless steel hot-tubs are filled with caramel-colored bathing beer that’s warmed to a toasty 34°C. While your pores soak up the frothy goodness of hops, yeast and mineral water, you can down a cold one to enhance the buzz of the total brew immersion experience.
Beer Bath Therapy MICHAL CIZEK/Stringer
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travel brave new spas
Ada Barak’s Snake Spa
M
aybe Indiana Jones should have spent more leisure time in that writhing viper pit in Raiders of the Lost Ark before getting the hell out of dodge. Just ask Ada Barak, the owner of Ada Barak’s Carnivorous Plant Farm, which houses her snake spa in northern Israel. The, um, caress of a pile of non-venomous snakes, including Florida king snakes, corn snakes and milk snakes, crawling over your body is a massage fit for someone like rock god, Slash. While the bigger snakes knead large muscle groups in your back, the smaller critters go to work on your face.
While Fear Factor contestants might protest, getting up close and personal with the serpentine reptiles is believed to relax sore muscles and can also alleviate a headache.
Benefits Claimed:
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Uriel Sinai/Stringer
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At homE
Hello, Neighbor! Meet Elana & Per. She’s an HGTV design blogger and DIY queen and he’s a photographer, so it’s no wonder their beloved Edwardian home is full of style, charm and salvaged vintage finds. by emma reddington, the marion house book blog
it all: enviable taste, good looks and the ability to make something beautiful out of nothing. It might seem hard to believe, but this house was furnished almost entirely with salvaged finds, from things Elana picked up off the street to flea market specials. Good design doesn’t always have to mean spending a lot of money. As Per and Elana prove, it’s about taking risks and following through with your vision.
Some couples have
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Elana is a manag ing editor for HGTV and Food Network Canada with a covetable wardrobe, and Per is a photo grapher who can often be seen riding his motorcycle through the neighborhood.
Occupations:
A three-storey detached Edwardian era home in a kid- and artist-friendly neighborhood.
Dwelling:
couple photo: John Currid
Q:
How long have you lived in your home? Four years.
Q:
Any animals and/or kids? Sophie, our three-year-old girl.
Q:
What is your favorite object in your home? Hard to choose. It would have to be all our salvaged furniture—the sofa, the dining room sideboard, the living room chairs, the kitchen chairs, our bed frame. We don’t know! Maybe the writing desk? It was a crazy steal.
Q:
What is your favorite room? Sophie’s room and the living room.
Q:
What are your future plans for the home? A ginormous overhaul. We’d like to gut the place, but that’s never going to hap pen. Our immediate plans are to redo the basement. Basement of horrors. We’d
kristin sjaarda
“We’d like to gut the place, but that’s never going to happen.” 2forcouples.com 71
At Home Elana & Per
like to dig it out and finish it. Also the second-floor bathroom. Stupidly small, it’s the only bathroom in the house and it needs to be expanded.
Q:
Anything you would change? A lot. We would gut the house, but leave 72 2forcouples.com
the décor. The layout and configuration is not functional at all. We’d blow out the wall between the living room and kitchen and put in a island; reconfigure the entire second floor; expand the bathroom by taking over the fourth-smallest bedroom in the world, which is now a storage room for boxes we haven’t touched in four kristin sjaarda
years; put in built-in closets in the two main bedrooms on the second floor; open up the dormers in the attic master bedroom; and put in a master bath and closets.
Q:
What original features of your home will you never get rid of? There aren’t many left, but we’d try to keep the door and window moldings, although we’d love to change the windows in the house because they’re from the early nineties and they’re ugly. That may affect the moldings.
Q:
Best thing about living in your neighbourhood? The trees and the big park that is nearby. Our local coffee shop, Cherry Bomb. And, finally, our neighbours.
As featured in The Marion House Book A buzz-worthy blog and collection of stories devoted to interior design, cooking, baking and DIY stuff.
kristin sjaarda
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at home
Home Tour Elana & Per’s flea-market-chic décor is an eclectic mix of restored curbside finds and thrift store treasures. by emma reddington, the marion house book blog Photography by Kristin Sjaarda
Elana skillfully groups a salon-style arrangement of art on the blank wall behind the sofa, giving the living room a focal point. 2forcouples.com 75
Refreshing not-soperfect hardwood floors with a coat of glossy white paint brings them back to life and adds a light and airy feeling to the room.
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Elana and Per even manage to make an outdated kitchen look chic. By painting everything white and adding a simple wood countertop, they created a room that is bright and welcoming.
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Flea market mirrors and a found rattan ottoman complement the beautiful lines of this solid wood desk.
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A wrought iron bed centered in front of a window makes the most of this small attic bedroom.
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An asymmetrical arrangement of objects in a similar color palette makes this vignette look pulled together.
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Recover a vintage or curbside find in an updated fabric, like this ikat-covered chair.
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At Home
Ton side chair $298 EQ3
Rattan stool $125 Serena & Lily
Tizio desk lamp $395 Design Within Reach
Black and white photography $65 Eye Buy Art
Poplin stripe bedding $110 Lexington Company
Leirvik iron bed frame $149 IKEA
Martin table lamp $200 crate and barrel
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making life memorable
Click for tips to create fabulous tables, courtesy of The Great Dinner Party by Mikasa, and share photos of your own inspired tablescapes! Strada dinnerware and Avenue stemware
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scotch whiskey COLLECTION For those who appreciate the finest, a collection of carafes and glasses to bring out their best.
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at home
You don’t have to be a bottle-twirling Tom Cruise in Cocktail to impress guests with delicious drinks. Set up a bar at home and you’ll be fancying yourself a mixologist—like our expert, the Cocktail Deeva, Dee Brun—in no time. by Adrienne Brown
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at home home bar primer
the basics
Brun, the author of Libations of Life: A Girl’s Guide to Life One Cocktail at a Time, suggests starting your col lection with basic whites: vodka, gin, rum and tequila. “There will always be one person at the party who asks for rye, but that person can bring their own!” Consider it your fifth basic, if you have space.
mixes and garnishes
“You can never have too many hot men or too much ice at a party, in my opinion,” says Brun. Besides plenty of ice, other mixing musts include: fresh lemons and limes, club soda, tonic water, white grape or white cranberry juice and another tropical blend of fruit juices.
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glassware
“With glasses, the most important thing is to have enough,” says Brun. “The glass doesn’t make the drink, your ingredients do.” Think outside the bottle and use an eclectic mix of vessels. Whether highball, rocks glasses, margarita glasses or mason jars, it doesn’t matter if they match—as long as they’re not plastic. “It’s the quickest way to ruin a good cocktail,” says Brun.
tools of the trade
Stock your bar with Brun’s must-have tools: metal shaker, shot glass and muddler.
master a signature cocktail
In movies, the suave host always knows how to make a stellar martini. But the truth is, most people won’t come over and ask for that. Perfect one recipe and wow guests with a signature cocktail, like Brun’s raspberry cucumber mojito.
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Kitchen appliances of high performance and stylish design for Espresso, Juicing, Blending, Baking, Cooking, Grilling, Toasting..... Visit breville.ca to view the full range of products.
Party Tricks
Amazing Tasting Menu For your next dinner party, take inspiration from Gordon Ramsay’s Maze restaurants, where patrons enjoy tastingsized portions for a variety of flavors and textures and a relaxed dining experience. photography by james pattyn food styling by anne bancroft
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Suitable for any occasion, Maze dinnerware and bakeware and Everyday drinkware from the Gordon Ramsay by Royal Doulton collection are contemporary, stylish and durable. Pair with Atelier flatware by Monique Lhuillier Waterford for a relaxed, yet elegant, table setting.
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The Menu Cider ’n Black Cocktail Roasted Asparagus with Vinaigrette Beet Soup Celery and Apple Salad Beef Satay with Peanut Sauce Warm Couscous Salad Cranachan with Raspberries
For a colorful and delicious pre-dinner cocktail, serve Cider ’n Black in large tumblers. For each drink, muddle or crush three blackberries with 10 mL simple syrup in a cocktail shaker. Add 40 mL vodka, 10 mL blackberry liqueur, 10 mL lime juice and 30 mL apple juice; shake well. Pour over ice and top with cider. Garnish with an apple slice and a blackberry.
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Vibrant beet soup is visually striking as well as delicious. Mix and match three colors of dinnerware (white, grey and blue) for even more impact. The soup can be prepped a day or two in advance so there’s less to do on party day.
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As any chef will tell you, good quality knives top the list of kitchen essentials. This Gordon Ramsay by Royal Doulton Maze 6-inch Santoku knife is useful for chopping, mincing, slicing and dicing.
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Serving salad in a shallow bowl instead of on a plate keeps it neatly contained. Prepare individual servings for a beautiful presentation and less fuss at the table.
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Consider your servingware for each menu item: a square baking dish is perfect for this roasted asparagus, while deep ramekins keep servings of couscous salad under control.
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Serving small portions of several fresh, tasty dishes makes for a nice change of pace from the traditional starter-main-dessert dinner party menu. For easy dĂŠcor, use clear glass vases and jars as candle holders, placed along the length of the table.
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Make the most of your tabletop collection by taking pieces beyond their usual purpose. Here, tumblers do double duty as dessert dishes.
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Party tricks party Tricks
Good Tasting Here’s a sampling of recipes from Gordon Ramsay’s Maze restaurants. photography by James Pattyn
Recipes courtesy of Gordon Ramsay’s Maze (Key Porter Books), by Gordon Ramsay and Jason Atherton.
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Roasted Asparagus with Lemon Grass, Gin ger and Tea Vinaigrette Serves 4
2 bunches asparagus 8 long bay leaves 8 long thyme sprigs
Trim the woody bases of the asparagus spears and peel the lower ends of the stalks. Blanch for 2 to 3 minutes in salted boiling water, until just tender. Immediately plunge asparagus in iced water to stop the cooking process. Drain and pat dry.
2 Tbsp (30 mL) cold butter 1 lemon grass stalk, minced 1¼-inch (3 cm) piece peeled fresh gingerroot, grated 1 Tbsp (15 mL) lemon verbena tea leaves 1 lemon, finely pared rind plus 2 Tbsp (30 mL) juice 5 Tbsp (75 mL) strong tea 1 Tbsp white wine vinegar 1 Tbsp (15 mL) fine sugar 8 tsp. (40 mL) olive oil
Cut bay leaves into skinny strips. Using a small knife, make four slits at even intervals along the length of each asparagus spear. Thread slits with strips of bay leaf and thyme sprigs. For the vinaigrette, put all ingredients into a pan with a pinch of sea salt and bring to a simmer; immediately remove from heat and pour into a small teapot or pitcher. Scatter remaining bay leaf strips on a large baking sheet; set threaded asparagus spears on top. Sprinkle with sea salt and black pepper. Top with thinly sliced butter and broil for 5 to 6 minutes. Transfer to warm serving plates; strain dressing over asparagus and serve immediately.
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party tricks amazing tasting menu
Beet Soup Serves 4
1 lb, 2 oz. (560 g) beets (about 4 large ones)
Peel and mince beets. Peel and chop shallot and garlic. Heat
4 tsp. (20 mL) olive oil
frequently, over medium heat for 5 to 6 minutes until shallot is
1 large shallot
oil in a medium pan. Add shallot and garlic; cook, stirring soft. Add butter and allow to melt, then tip in chopped beets. Stir well and cook over high heat for another 5 minutes.
1 garlic clove 2 Tbsp (30 mL) butter Splash of balsamic vinegar
Deglaze the pan with a splash of balsamic vinegar and let it boil dry. Add chicken stock and leaves stripped from thyme sprigs. Simmer for about 40 to 50 minutes, until beets are very soft.
4 cups (1 L) chicken stock Few thyme sprigs
While still hot, transfer beets to blender or food processor, using a slotted spoon. Pour in some stock; blend until
Sea salt and black pepper
smooth. Pass the mixture through a fine strainer into a clean
½ cup (100 g) crème fraîche
pan. Stir in more stock until you reach desired consistency.
¼ cup (50 g) soft goat cheese Olive oil and herbs to finish
Season with salt and pepper to taste. Beat together crème fraîche and goat cheese until smooth. Drop a spoonful in middle of each serving. Drizzle with a little olive oil and garnish with amaranth or purple basil, if desired.
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Celery and Apple Salad with Roquefort Dressing Serves 4
3 celery stalks, trimmed and peeled
To make dressing, crumble 3½ ounces (100 g) Roquefort
1 Boston lettuce, outer leaves removed
and smooth. Stir in mayonnaise and season with salt and
1 Granny Smith apple Squeeze of lemon juice
in a bowl; whisk in boiling water until the mixture is creamy white pepper to taste. Cut celery stalks in half lengthwise; then cut into 1½-inch (4 cm) sticks and place in a large bowl. Add separated
1 large chicory bulb, trimmed
lettuce and chicory leaves. Halve and core apple; slice
5½ oz. (160 g) Roquefort
thinly. Stack apple slices and cut into thin sticks. Squeeze
Handful of toasted walnuts
over a little lemon juice to prevent apple pieces from browning; add to salad. Toss everything together.
2 to 3 Tbsp (30 to 45 mL) boiling water
Divide salad between serving plates and top with
1/3 cup (75 mL) mayonnaise
remaining Roquefort, crumbled. Scatter with toasted
Sea salt and finely grated white pepper
walnuts, saving one or two for the dressing. Top with a few deep-fried celery leaves, if desired. Spoon a generous amount of Roquefort dressing onto the side of each plate and finely grate over the reserved walnuts.
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party tricks amazing tasting menu
Beef Satay with Peanut Sauce Serves 4
14 to 16 oz. (400 to 500 g) beef tenderloin
Trim most of fat and sinew from beef. Mix 2 or 3 Tbsp (30 to
Vegetable oil
finely crushed with a pinch of sea salt; season to taste. Brush
2 red chilis
45 mL) oil, one seeded and minced chili, and one garlic clove mixture over beef. Cover and refrigerate for a couple of hours or more.
4 garlic cloves, peeled Sea salt and black pepper 2 large shallots, finely diced
Heat 2 Tbsp (30 mL) oil in a pan over medium heat. Add shallots and sweat for a few minutes until they begin to soften. Stir in remaining garlic, finely crushed ginger and
3/4-inch (2 cm) piece of fresh gingerroot, peeled and finely grated
seeded and minced chili; cook for a few more minutes. Add
4 tsp. (20 mL) light soy sauce
boil; immediately remove from heat and stir in peanut butter
1 cup (250 mL) coconut milk
soy sauce and let bubble until almost totally reduced. Pour in coconut milk and add sugar, stirring to dissolve. Bring to a until well blended.
1 Tbsp (15 mL) fine sugar
Remove beef from refrigerator 15 minutes before cooking.
½ cup (125 mL) crunchy peanut butter
Heat a griddle pan until very hot. Griddle beef for about 2 minutes per side for medium rare. Remove from heat; let rest for 5 minutes and cut into strips. Thread each strip onto a short wooden skewer; brush with a little sauce. Serve immediately with herb garnish and peanut sauce for dipping.
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Warm Couscous Salad Serves 4
2 Tbsp (30 ml) golden raisins 1 cup (200 g) couscous 1 tsp. (5 mL) rock salt, crushed
Place raisins in a small bowl; add a little boiling water to cover and let soak for 10 minutes, until softened and plumped up. Drain well and pat dry. Combine couscous, rock salt, ras el hanout and olive oil in a
2 tsp. (10 mL) ras el hanout (Moroccan spice mix)
large bowl; add 1 3/4 cups (400 mL) boiling water. Give the
3 tsp. (15 mL) olive oil
15 to 20 minutes.
1 Granny Smith apple 4 tsp. (20 mL) lemon juice 1 tsp. (5 mL) finely grated lemon rind 4 tsp. (20 mL) minced cilantro
mixture a quick stir; cover with plastic wrap and let soak for
Meanwhile, peel, core and finely dice apple; squeeze over a little lemon juice to prevent it from browning. Fork through couscous to separate grains and break up any large lumps. Combine apples with the rest of ingredients and fork through to mix. Taste and season as desired.
2 tsp. (10 mL) minced rosemary 4 tsp. (20 mL) vinaigrette
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party tricks amazing tasting menu
Cranachan with Rasp berries Serves 4 to 6
½ cup (70 g) oatmeal 6½ oz. (190 g) raspberries 1 to 2 Tbsp (15 to 30 mL) confectioners’ sugar
Lightly toast oatmeal in a dry skillet over medium heat until lightly golden, tossing frequently. (Do not leave the pan unattended as oatmeal may burn easily.) Tip onto a flat plate; cool completely.
3 cups (750 mL) whipping cream
Put 3½ oz. (105 g) of raspberries and confectioners’ sugar
4 Tbsp (60 mL) honey
In a large bowl, whip the cream to soft peaks; fold in the
2 to 3 Tbsp (30 to 45 mL) malt whisky, to taste
into a blender or food processor and whiz to a smooth purée. honey and whisky. Set aside 1 to 2 Tbsp (15 to 30 mL) of oatmeal for serving and fold the rest into cream mixture. Spoon 1 Tbsp (15 mL) of raspberry purée into the base of each serving glass. Add remainder to cream mixture and give it two or three folds to create a rippled effect. Fill serving glasses with cream mixture. Top with remaining raspberries and sprinkle over the reserved oatmeal. Serve immediately.
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thebay.com
recipe for 2
Béatrice Peltre La Tartine Gourmande’s whimsical, Frenchinspired cooking. by Kate Drummond photography by Béatrice Peltre
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we eat with our eyes first,” says blogger, food stylist and cookbook author, Béatrice Peltre. It takes one glance at the photography on her blog, La Tartine Gourmande, or in her cookbook, La Tartine Gourmande: Recipes For An Inspired Life, to see how deeply this philosophy informs her approach to preparing and plating food. Peltre’s love of food began in the French countryside, where she spent her childhood surrounded by beautiful homegrown and homemade food. “My father’s parents were farmers, so I kept vivid memories of spending time on the farm, eating the foods they grew and made,” she explains. She recalls preparing food during those early days in France, as well: “I remember helping my mother in the garden during the summer to pick peas, beans and fruit. Then making jams and preserves with her. I can still remember the aromas of those afternoons spent in the kitchen.” Just as she once helped her mother make preserves, Peltre’s daughter, Lulu, 3, is now her adorable sous-chef. “She likes to say, ‘We did it together, maman!’” As for Peltre’s husband, Philip? Although “I believe that
he can cook well, he leaves it to her, claiming “she does it better.” While Peltre’s not entirely convinced of his argument, it suits her just fine. Although the self-taught gourmand always aspired to writing a cookbook, she didn’t know how to approach the endeavor. So, in 2005, Peltre created a blog where she kept notes on her favorite recipes and shared them with friends. Fast-forward seven years and that blog has blossomed into La Tartine Gourmande, a mouthwatering hit of 2forcouples.com 111
Recipe for 2 Béatrice Peltre
An apple tart that’s almost too pretty to eat.
“I want to touch people’s senses when they see my images and try my recipes.”
inspiration for anyone who shares Peltre’s passion for food, photography and in spired living. The success of her blog paved the way for what followed: a full-length cookbook 112 2forcouples.com
that she wrote, styled and photographed. The book hit shelves earlier this year and, although it was a long process, she is now enjoying the succulent fruits of her labor. “I am really proud of the result,” Peltre says. Gorgeously styled, the cookbook includes recipes that reflect Peltre’s philosophy toward cooking and eating: stunning dishes made with simple, organic ingredients. Her recipes, which took many nights of testing and perfecting, have French roots with a modern flair and exotic touches, largely influenced by her travels and her desire to try new ingredients. It’s precisely the type of rustic-gourmet food you can imagine serving at a back yard gathering with friends and family, everyone seated elbow-to-elbow at a cozy,
Peltre and her daughter, Lulu.
casually set harvest table, enjoying how the food looks, smells and tastes. “I want to touch people’s senses when they see my images and try my recipes,” says Peltre. “Someone once told me that my food is whimsical, that it showed that I liked to play with foods. I think this is true,” she adds. That playfulness is evident in her artful styling and creative
presentation. Rather than making a large tart, for example, Peltre prefers to serve tartlets because they look “cuter” on the plate. “I want to feel that I am celebrating food every day!” says Peltre. And that’s precisely what this book is, an elegant homage to fresh, beautiful food that is best enjoyed with family and friends.
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recipe for 2
Salmon and Watercress Quiche Channel your inner epicurean with this savory French tart from La Tartine Gourmande.
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BĂŠatrice Peltre
Salmon and Watercress Quiche Serves 4 Sweet rice, quinoa and amaranth crust (recipe on page 117)
Preheat the oven to 400°F (200°C) and butter a 10-inch quiche
7 oz (200 g) watercress or baby spinach
To prepare the watercress, start by cutting off the leaves and
4 Tbsp olive oil
until the water is clear to completely remove the dirt. Dry the
1 cup (235 ml) whole milk 1 bay leaf Sea salt and pepper
mold (quiche molds have higher sides than regular tart molds).
discarding the longer stems. Make sure to wash it a few times cleaned watercress in a salad spinner. In a saute pan, heat 2 tablespoons of the oil over medium heat. Add the watercress and saute for about 3 minutes, stirring until soft. Transfer to a colander and squeeze out the excess water
1 pound 2 oz (500 g) skinned salmon
between your fingers. Set the pan aside to use later.
4 large eggs
Finely chop the watercress and set aside.
¾ cup (175 ml) heavy cream
In a pot, heat 3/4 cup of the milk with the bay leaf and a pinch
Dash of freshly grated nutmeg
salmon and poach it for 3 minutes. Remove from heat, cover,
of sea salt and pepper. When just beginning to simmer, add the and let infuse for 10 minutes. Remove the salmon and crumble
1 Tbsp chopped dill
it into a bowl, making sure to discard the bones; set aside.
A few sage leaves, chopped
In a bowl, beat the eggs with the cream and the remaining
2 small leeks, white part only, finely chopped
¼ cup milk. Season with sea salt and pepper and add the nutmeg, dill, and sage; set aside.
1 shallot, finely chopped
In the same saute pan you used for the watercress, heat the
1 egg white, lightly beaten with a fork
remaining 2 tablespoons oil over medium heat. Add the leeks
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Recipe for 2 Béatrice Peltre
and shallot and cook for about 5 minutes without browning, stirring until soft. Remove from heat and stir in the watercress; set aside. Roll and cut the dough (recipe on page 117) to fit inside the mold. Arrange the dough inside the mold and using a fork, make small holes at the bottom. Prebake the crust for 10 minutes (instructions on page 117). Remove the parchment paper and weights and brush the crust with the egg white. Return to the oven and bake for 5 more minutes. Add the vegetables and crumbled salmon to the crust and pour the egg batter over the top. Bake the quiche for 30 to 35 minutes (20 minutes if you’re making individual quiches), or until the top is golden and the egg flan is set. Let rest for 10 minutes before cutting; serve with a green salad.
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“The bitter, peppery taste of watercress combined with rich salmon poached in milk makes for an exact balance of flavors on your plate. This quiche is simply exquisite— and can always be made ahead of time!” —béatrice peltre
Sweet Rice, Quinoa and Amaranth Crust ½ cup (80 g; 2 ¾ oz) sweet rice flour
In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle blade,
½ cup (60 g; 2 oz) quinoa flour
and mix on medium speed until crumbles form. Add the egg
½ cup (70 g; 2 ½ oz) amaranth flour 1 ½ tsp. xanthan gum
combine the flours, xanthan gum and sea salt. Add the butter and mix again. Add the water gradually and continue mixing until the dough detaches from the bowl and forms a ball. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for a minimum of 1 hour before using. If it’s in the fridge for a few hours or overnight, take out of the fridge at least 30 minutes before using.
½ tsp. sea salt 7 Tbsp (100 g; 3 ½ oz) unsalted butter, chilled and diced
To be prepared 1 hour ahead, or the day before. Makes six 4 ½-inch tartlets or one 12-inch tart.
1 small egg 4 Tbsp cold water, or more if needed
Prebake a Crust
“Blind baking” is the process of cooking a tart crust before adding the topping. Once you have rolled out the dough and pressed it into the tart mold, cover it with a piece of parchment paper, and top it with pie weights (dry rice or beans work, too). Bake the crust for 10 to 15 min utes, typically at 350°F (180°C) or at the temperature indicated in the recipe. Sometimes, if the recipe calls for it, you’ll bake the crust for an extra 5 minutes without the parchment paper and weights.
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backpage
5 Epic YouTube Marriage Proposals
Chock-full of elaborate surprises, true love and dancing mobs, it’s no wonder these proposals from real-life Romeos have gone viral. click for video
1: This choreographed live-dub proposal is the closest life will ever get to feeling like a musical. 2: What could be more apropos than proposing during a live perfor mance of Train’s hit, “Marry Me”?
3: Ginny thought she was going to see the adrenaline-pumping flick, Fast Five. But her boyfriend cooked up some silver screen action of his own. 4: A spirited Glee fan flash mob gets interrupted with a surprise proposal. 5: Disney’s got nothin’ on this fairytale proposal, originally featured on Howie Mandel’s reality TV show, Mobbed. 118 2forcouples.com
Coming soon…
l a i c spe g n ddi e w ! e u s s i Get “I Do!” ready with wedding planning tips, bachelor/ette party ideas, honeymoon hotspots
and inspiring Real Weddings!
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