Wellbeing
In a world where you can be anything, be kind. Carrie on… Being kind as a way of life
carriebrooks.co.uk
Greenwich life coach Carrie Brooks shares her tips
34 URBAN FOX
Be Kind’ -that’s what we’re hearing all the time at the moment after the tragic death of Caroline Flack. Is this just a social media trend? Something that we are simply going to forget once the next piece of salacious gossip attracts our attention. I certainly hope not. Kindness is an important core value and we all need kindness in our lives to thoroughly blossom as emotionally healthy and content human beings. The need to be treated with kindness and the need to express it towards ourselves and others is paramount to our well-being. Interestingly, just before writing this article, I came across some ground breaking research from Stanford University which clearly demonstrates the physical and mental health benefits of showing compassion and kindness. To break this research down simply, due to our stressful and busy lifestyles our brain is chronically highjacked and frequently jumps into ‘threat mode’. However, by showing kindness and compassion we flip the switch returning our nervous system to ‘rest mode’ which has a huge positive effect on our physiology. One long term effect of being able to live more in ‘rest mode’ is that it has been proven to slow down the ageing process. How brilliant is that! It is important to realise that we are continually affecting our emotional and mental well-being by actively choosing what we read and what we expose ourselves to. The press and media exist to write stories that encourage us to click to read on, to buy the newspaper or the magazine, and their aim is to entice us to devour every detail while remaining insatiably hungry for more. It is up to us to decide where we want to focus our attention. It is time for us to take responsibility for our choice of the stories that we are clicking on and to begin to choose more wisely. Isn’t it tragic that it took a celebrity to end her own life in order for us to raise the importance of being kind and compassionate? What can we learn about ourselves from this tragedy and how can we ensure that it will continue to have a powerful impact on how we behave in the future? We need to become aware that we are we feeding the press machine by showing our avid interest in people’s intimate personal struggles and salacious falls from grace. On the other hand Tyson Fury, who became world champion in the boxing ring last weekend, is an amazingly positive example of
someone who battled with severe mental health issues and overcame them while sharing his story with incredible honesty and openness. His recovery is inspiring to anyone feeling personally challenged at the moment and is an example of an empowering media story, whereas the same cannot be said about the tawdry coverage of Caroline Flack’s personal life. Tyson’s story is a positive one and impacts our lives in a life-affirming way, while the stories of Caroline’s personal struggles relied on activating the darker side of ourselves, the side of our insecure self that feels momentarily better by witnessing someone else’s demise. Who do you want to be? This is all about taking personal responsibility for the person that we want to be and the effect we want to have on our immediate world. ‘Be Kind’ is not just a hashtag, it is a way of life, and one that will bring along with it amazing benefits to both our psychological and emotional well-being. I feel that it is important to share something that I hold close to my heart, and that is to spread the word about the huge benefits of talking therapies. If you are finding yourself in a low spot or struggling to cope, I would encourage you to reach out for help. The reason that talking to a skilled professional is so valuable is that the very act of expressing your inner most thoughts out loud interrupts the incessant thought loops that are going round and round in your head. This very simple act of opening up and speaking your thoughts and feelings out loud has an incredible impact on how you perceive your situation and also initiates a deeper clarity and understanding. You are never alone and there are many experienced professionals who are able to be of great assistance to you, just take the first step and reach out. Promise me. My final thoughts are, that when we are exposed to a personal tragedy, while experiencing the sadness and compassion for a life lost, we can also choose to use this as the trigger to change our lives for the better. To take on board the ‘Be Kind’ mantra and start to show kindness. Firstly to ourselves and then to demonstrate it in our behaviour towards other people, whether they are close friends, family, work colleagues or celebrities who are having their intimate lives and personal struggles aired in public. Let’s make ‘Be Kind’ be the positive change we want to see in all of our lives. Let’s start now.
