Spring 2016 Pillars of Salt

The Swan He’s standing in front of his car with his hands in his pockets, leaning against the passenger door. Until that moment, he was not handsome. Something changed. I walk down my driveway to meet him, tuck a piece of my hair behind my left ear, and smile up at him with my eyes. I’m good at being what he thinks I am. He opens the door for me, and I sit down in the passenger seat. He looks at me before he starts the car, and I meet his gaze. I look at him in a way that forces him to smile and look down. That’s when I made up my mind. When he looked down, overwhelmed by the look in my eyes. We drove to an overlook in the valley and sat there, talking like nervous friends. And toward the end of the night, when I was tired of not saying what we mean, I asked him, “So when are you going to kiss me?” He kissed me, and I couldn’t stop thinking about this one time that my nanny yelled at me. She was mad because I had asked her to draw me a picture of a boat, but then the drawing started to look like a swan, so I shouted at her to change it. I shouted pretty loud, I guess. And so she picked me up and took me to my room and layed me down in my bed and yelled really close to my ears to show me what it feels like to be screamed at. I just remember how loud it was. I don’t know what you’re supposed to think about when a boy kisses you, but I don’t think it’s that. I tried to get my nanny out of my head, but that was proving difficult, so instead I stopped kissing him. I asked him to drive me home and when he asked me to meet his friends, I told him I was sorry. I really was sorry. Anika Ramlo (’17) Pillars of Salt 9