NOVEMBER, 2021â |
Issue 329â |â Qsaltlake.com
whoâs your daddy
The kindness of Greek ghosts BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS
Sometimes
I donât know what to write about in Whoâs Your Daddy. Tonight, my niece Ashley suggested either ghosts or kindness. Two seemingly somewhat divergent topics. But for us, they were tied together. You see, we started out texting about the University of Utahâs impressive win over USC in college football, then the conversation turned to family. She told me that my dad had shown up in her house. My dad passed away over six years ago. A photo of him with one of her daughters mysteriously appeared in her pantry. She took that as a sign that he was with her and her family and hung it on their fridge. She reminded me how kind my dad had always been. We need a little kindness in this world. No, we need a lot more kindness. Recently, Lt. Governor Mark Robinson of North Carolina said, âthereâs no reason anybody anywhere in America should be telling any child about transgenderism, homosexuality, any of that filth.â He called millions of LGBTQ+ people filth. Frankly, I donât care what he calls me personally. But I do care what he calls other people â especially young people. Words have power. A 2020 survey by The Trevor Project, a suicide prevention and crisis intervention group focusing on helping LGBTQ+ youth, found 40 percent of queer young people between 13 and 24 seriously contemplated suicide within the past year. Equally as horrifying, according to a Journal of Adolescence Health study in 2019, one in four preteen suicides is likely to be of a queer kid. Further, researchers at Yale studied the death records of 10,000 kids ages 10â19, all of whom died from suicide. They found that the records were âsubstantially more likely to mention bullying
than [those of] their non-LGBT peers.â Honestly, I canât help wondering how many of the LGBTQ+ kids who died by their own hands would still be with us if, rather than being bullied, theyâd simply been shown kindness and acceptance. But Iâm sure if he were asked, Lt. Governor Robinson would scoff at any questions suggesting he is a bully. As Iâm writing this, he has steadfastly refused to resign his position. But how else would you describe someone who calls kids âfilthâ? What really surprises me about the Lt. Governorâs bullying is that heâs both the child of an abusive dad and a father himself. Youâd think heâd work hard to avoid being abusive â even if itâs just verbal abuse spat at strangers. Iâd like to think that, even though Iâm âfilth,â Iâm a better dad than that. Look, Iâm the first to admit that Iâm far from a perfect dad. In fact, there are days when I think that becoming a dad probably wasnât the best idea. My kids arenât perfect either. Iâm sure there are days that they wish someone else was their dad. But Iâm immensely proud that theyâre both kind young men. I donât think itâs a coincidence that my niece found a long-forgotten photo in her pantry of all places. Just like I donât think it was a coincidence she told me about it on the day I made my grandmotherâs Greek egg-lemon soup, her cute, accented voice whispering in my ear, reminding me to go slow so as not to curdle the soup. You see, Iâm a firm believer in Greek ghosts. Not the spooky ones that haunt creepy old houses, but those who once loved us and still do. My dad was just sending my niece love and kindness. I wish heâd send some to Mark Robinson.â Q If a young person you know is struggling, Âplease contact the Trevor Project at TheTrevorProject.org
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