They’ll Love Your Reflective Skills

How Reflective Listening Will Help You

Accomplish Your Goals

How would you like to be 20% better at persuasion, improve your chances of landing your dream job and become more popular in social settings? All of this is possible by refining one simple conversation tactic: reflective listening. Reflective listening occurs when you show an understanding of what someone else is saying, feeling, aspiring to or worrying about.

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For example, when your lunch partner says, “The energy stocks got hammered again today; my firm insists on staying the course, but I feel it’s time to go in another direction,” you could reflect by saying, “It sounds like you had a hard day, and you feel trapped on a boat that’s going in the wrong direction.” Your lunch partner will say, “EXACTLY!” and appreciate that you cared enough and were confident enough to explain their emotions.

Reflective listening is better than lecturing your friend by offering a premature solution off the cuff like, “Well, you should leave then.” It’s better than saying something competitive like, “Well, I have been predicting further declines in energy this past year, and I’ve been right.” And it’s way better than ignoring your lunch partner’s turmoil and talking about something else on your mind, like “Cheer up – hey, did you catch the football game last night?”

Reflecting what you hear someone saying makes the other person feel like you are respectful, attentive, empathetic and willing to put yourself in their shoes. People who feel that you understand them and are an ally in helping them get what they want (in work and in life) are much more likely to listen to your persuasive idea, hire you for the job of your dreams or want to spend time with you socially.

Reflecting is not asking new probing questions (which many strategy consultants, lawyers, accountants and other professionals do all too often). Probing questions are not at all related to what the person just said and are all about getting you the data you seek to advance your agenda. In contrast, reflecting is meeting the person where they are. It’s furthering the conversation on a topic that is important to them Reflecting is easier to do, extremely powerful and more about building trust and mutual understanding than collecting details.

I encourage you to dial up the reflective listening in your professional and personal conversations. You’ll see how capable you feel when persuading someone to take action and notice how more people seem to gravitate toward you socially. They will love your skills of reflection.

Dr. Geoff Smart is chairman & founder of ghSMART, a leadership consulting firm that exists to help leaders amplify their positive impact on the world. Dr. Smart and his firm have published multiple New York Times bestsellers. He stays active in his community and has advised many government officials.

Authenticity In Action The Benefits Of Showing Vulnerability In The Workplace

Many business leaders believe they shouldn’t show any vulnerability in the workplace. They think that it will come off as a weakness and cause them to lose the respect of their team. This couldn’t be further from the truth. A recent study from Catalyst found that employees say they are more creative, dedicated and willing to go above and beyond when their leaders display vulnerability and openness.

In many ways, vulnerability can be a strength. When you’re vulnerable, you show your employees that you’re willing to admit your mistakes and ask for help when needed. You’re less likely to get in over your head, and your employees will follow suit. Vulnerability also improves trust among your team and will make them more comfortable voicing their opinions, concerns and ideas without fear of judgment.

So, how do you become more vulnerable in the workplace? It starts with how you talk with your team. Don’t be afraid to share your feelings and any wins or losses you’ve experienced at work. Frequently check in with your employees so they can voice their feelings. And if they mention that something is bothering them about the workplace or your leadership style, take action and make some changes.

How To Turn Your Employees Into Leaders

It can become a difficult situation when a longtime manager or leader steps away from your business or their role. You have to find a replacement for them, and while you might think it’s best to hire someone outside the organization who comes with extensive experience, you may benefit even more from promoting within your own ranks. When you promote an employee, you’re showing their coworkers that advancement opportunities are available, which can encourage them to work more diligently. You also don’t have to worry about training your new leader on the nuances of your company since they’ll already be familiar with your processes and systems.

It may take some strategizing on your part, to successfully develop your team member to ensure they’re capable of taking on a leadership role. This starts by building a strong company culture so every employee values the business and knows what it stands for. You also need to reward success whenever possible. Offer raises and promotions to deserving employees, and when applicable, recognize their achievements in front of the team. Finally, don’t throw anyone to the wolves by simply hoping for the best. Instead, develop a leadership training program to ensure the success of every leader.