How to Be Kind to Yourself & Still Get Stuff Done I’ve found that there are two profound changes that almost any of of us can make: Become kinder to ourselves • Build trust in ourselves • Unfortunately, because we don’t really trust ourselves, we’re very rarely kind to ourselves. When I ask people to start being kind to themselves, they usually come back at some point with this dilemma:
“But if I’m too kind to myself, I won’t get anything done!” This is the fear, when people start being kind to themselves — that they’ll be too soft, they won’t get stuff done, they’ll let themselves off the hook too easily, they’ll just lie around doing nothing. It’s an understandable fear — if you have had times when you procrastinated, you probably worry about this. Let’s talk about why kindness to self is so important, how to do it, and how to still get stuff done even when you’re kind to yourself.
12 | Aussie Painters Network
Why Kindness to Self is So Damned Important Most of us are not very kind to ourselves. We often do things like: • Come down hard on ourselves when we don’t meet our expectations. • Let ourselves off the hook for doing something and then feel terrible about ourselves. • Let others down and then beat ourselves up for doing so. • Look at our flaws and see them as ugly, huge shortcomings, reasons why we are falling short. • Harshly push ourselves to be better, to do better, judging ourselves as inadequate so far.
These are just some of the common examples — the truth is, most of us are judging ourselves, beating ourselves up, looking harshly at our shortcomings and flaws, a lot of time. It’s why we’re stressed, anxious, frustrated and disappointed so often. A different path might be kindness to ourselves. When we see a flaw, we might see the beauty in it. Instead of always striving to be better, we can find gratitude for how great we already are. Instead of beating
ourselves up, we can be kind to ourselves and see that we have tried our best, that we had good intentions, that we have a good heart. Kindness to ourselves, always. This would transform our relationship to ourselves. It would remove barriers that we face right now, including: 1. If you aren’t harsh on yourself for missing a few days of a habit, you’ll just start again without making a big deal of it. 2. If you aren’t harsh on yourself for failing at something, you won’t be afraid of it, and learning and growth will become easier. You can write, start a business, code, take online courses, start a new activity, without all the burden of selfharshness and fear of failure. 3. If you aren’t constantly focusing on your flaws, you’ll start to feel more whole. This would change how you show up in the world, how you feel about life, and how you relate to others.
