by Emily Baker
MY BOOMER MOTHER’S QUESTIONS ABOUT TRANS IDENTITY Learning the T:
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If it doesn't have to do with which gender I'm attracted to, what would feel different if I identified as a male?
y mom has the best intentions; she is progressive and empathetic. But she has trouble talking with her transgender coworker about his life. As her seasoned GSA-attending bisexual daughter, we collaborated to answer her questions about transgender identities.
As I understand it, gender identity is what gender a person 'identifies' as. What does that mean? Gender identity is the way a person feels internally about their gender. Gender categories are what we socially construct to be masculine and feminine. People fall somewhere in this spectrum, but cultures build roles around specific genders.
Is there a term to describe a person who identifies as the opposite gender [than assigned at birth]? “Transgender” describes people who don’t identify with their gender assigned at birth. Biological gender isn’t always indicative of how a person will be socialized. Intersex folks find themselves raised as a different gender than what their mind tells them because a doctor was confused by the shape of their genitalia. Folks have used transsexual and transvestite in the past, but “transgender,” or trans for short, is inclusive and less generalizing of trans experiences. 1 4 \\ J U L Y 1 , 2 0 2 0
What is cis[gender]? Much like trans folks feel their gender, cisgender-identifying individuals feel at their core their gender assigned at birth is correct. My mom said the following about her cisgender experience: “I mean, I feel like myself. I guess I identify as a female, likely in large part that's because I've been regarded as one.”
What is nonbinary? Or binary, for that matter. Nonbinary folks are a subset of trans individuals who don’t see their gender falling in either masculine or feminine categories. The binary between men and women causes dysphoria in nonbinary folks because they never fully identify as either a man or woman. Nonbinary, genderfluid, agender, and demigender folks may identify more with one gender temporarily, but their nonbinary status doesn’t disappear.
You would have felt uncomfortable in your body at first. From the experiences I’ve heard, gender dysphoria involves disliking gendered parts of your body and fascination with the opposite gender’s presentation. Some trans folks call themselves gay at first when their understanding of gender and sexuality are intwined. This isn’t always the case.
Do all the different possibilities of sexuality depend on which gender a person identifies as? Similar to gender identity, sexual identity isn’t just biologically determined. My mom grew up knowing only gay and straight. Like gender, we now understand sexuality can be fluid. Traditionally, if my mom came out as a trans man who liked women, he would be considered straight. But my trans dad’s sexuality could evolve. It’s ultimately up to him.
Why include she/her in a bio? Wouldn't just female do? Since the gender binary can often feel restrictive for trans folks who struggle to adhere to a specific gender, “male” and “female” are less commonly used. Including pronouns is an upfront way
