Parenting Without a Manual

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By Ivis Mateos

It’s so difficult to do this thing called parenting and to do it “perfectly” without a darn manual!

Knowing what is right or best for our child or what is considered great parenting as it turns out, is mostly done with a combination of instinct, good luck and a whole lot of googling lol.

Let’s start out with the truth, there is NO perfect parenting, no perfect child, no perfect life regardless of what you see on the Mommies group on Facebook. Once we accept that, our journey will be much easier to accept. There are some general mistakes we make as parents, and when I say general, I say it lightly because general to someone in the United States might be completely off the table in let’s say, Asia or South America.

Some of the habits that I see trending when speaking to other moms, for example, is assuming that keeping our children super busy (playing several sports/too many playdates) will keep them out of trouble, when in many cases the children actually become overwhelmed, stressed out and burnt out. The child begins to manifest frustration and in many cases, loss of interest in extracurricular activities.

Another challenging issue we encounter as parents, is withholding information from our children about tough subjects such as bulling, sex, drugs, falling in or out of a love to name a few. I know talking about sex for example, could be terrifying, but you want to make sure that you are the one in control of the information. The one to expose them to the subject and not a stranger, the internet or even a friend their age. As a parent, we have the ability to teach any of these subjects with our value system in mind and in a safe environment where the child is comfortable asking questions or expressing their concerns.

There are many many things that will unexpectedly arise when you are a parent. Stay cool, don’t overthink, take it one day at time, one breath at time! You are writing your own manual for parenting while taking the journey with your child. Challenges build character and allows the child (and the parent) to gain wisdom and be better prepared for their adult life.

Once you are done with your manual, don’t be shy and share it with a mommy friend, perhaps one of your experiences will help ease the process for another mommy and their parenting journey.

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