Teen Driver Safety by Tanni Haas, Ph.D.
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arents often like to supplement their teens’ official driving lessons with their own lessons behind the wheel, and that’s a great idea. Studies show that teens who receive additional driving instruction from their parents have fewer accidents than teens who don’t get any extra help. What can parents do to ensure that their teens get the most out of their time together in the car? Here’s what the experts say: Let Them Take the Lead Once you’ve told your teens that you’re willing to give them driving lessons, back off a bit and don’t push the issue. “If your teen isn’t driving you crazy about teaching her to drive,” says Carleton Kendrick, a family therapist who works with teens, “she’s probably too nervous to begin the process.” Wait patiently until they’re ready for your help. As Wayne Parker, a certified life coach and author of Power Dads, puts it, “an overly anxious teen driver can be a dangerous thing.” Talk Before You Get into The Car Even when your teens say they’re ready
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to learn how to drive, it’s likely that they’ve heard horror stories in the news or from their friends that are making them scared. Nicole Runyon, a social worker who deals with teens, suggests that parents “create a calm and peaceful space for them to talk.” Try to alleviate any fears by listening carefully and reassuring them that you’ll support and help them become competent and safe drivers. Give Them Advance Warning Give them some advance warning when you’re ready for the first lesson. Talk with them about, as Mr. Parker puts it, “where you’re going and what you’re going to do.” Teens don’t like surprises, especially from their parents. Get together to plan the route and the skills you’ll be working. It’ll put you on a more equal footing.
“praise specific progress and improvement, while offering non-judgmental, optimistic, and encouraging words.” The goal is to make your teens more aware drivers, not to make them feel shamed or judged. Another way to guide your teens is to ask them questions instead of giving commands. Instead of saying slow down or “you’re going to get a speeding ticket,” Mr. Parker suggests asking “what’s the speed limit here?” Studies show that teens whose parents ask questions rather than make critical statements get into fewer accidents.
Treat Them Like Adults Teens like to be treated as adults. That includes when they’re learning how to drive. Ms. Kendrick says that parents should avoid talking down to their teens, making any negative comments, or treating them like little children. She suggests that parents
Put Yourself in Their Shoes Studies also show that many parents focus their instruction more on skills that they had difficulty mastering when they themselves learned how to drive than on the skills that best prevent teen accidents. Instead of spending much of your time teaching your
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