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DEC. ISSUE | O PI N I O N
THE ONTARION
Protect your mental health this holiday season by setting boundaries, offering your opinion respectfully, and maintaining a self-care routine. CREDIT: PEXELS
Surviving awkward family get-togethers this holiday season Advice on how to navigate difficult conversations and protect your mental health JESSIE DAVIS
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ou’re headed home for the holidays and ready to enjoy some well-deserved time off from school. Yet this time to relax and decompress can be filled with all kinds of unwanted stressors. A study from the National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) states that 64 per cent of people with mental illness report that their condition is worse during the holiday season. Financial stress, keeping up with holiday events, cooking, cleaning and entertaining are all factors that contribute to anxiety and depression during the holiday season. This is especially true this
year, in the midst of a pandemic, where you may find yourself in uncomfortable situations and conversations at family events. Last year, the holiday season was celebrated remotely through video chats and phone calls because of COVID-19 restrictions. Now that most people are vaccinated and many restrictions are lifted, many families are gathering together this year. However, not seeing family for an extended amount of time could make things awkward and uncomfortable this holiday. Vaccines, social justice issues, your and your loved ones’ health throughout a pandemic, and your plans for the future are all conver-
sation topics that could come up this holiday season. How can you maneuver through uncomfortable conversations? Here are some tips to help you survive the holidays and prioritize your mental health.
SETTING BOUNDARIES Establishing boundaries with your family can help you to avoid topics that could cause awkwardness. Setting healthy boundaries is a form of self-care. According to an article from PositivePsychology.com, there are numerous mental health benefits to setting
boundaries. For one, they aid you in defining your individuality and establishing a space where you end and another person begins. Determining healthy boundaries will encourage you to focus on the things you can control and determine what you are responsible for in your relationship. Additionally, setting boundaries helps avoid anger, resentment, and burnout in relationships, according to psychologist Dana Nelson. In order to set boundaries, you first need to know where you stand on certain issues. This means that you may need to do some self-reflection work regarding your personal stances. Be honest with yourself and your family about your boundaries. Once you have decided on the boundaries you need, talk to your family. Use “I” statements to express your feelings clearly. Using “I” statements means taking ownership for your feelings rather than using a “you” statement and blaming another person for the way you feel. Here is an example of setting a boundary: “I am feeling uncomfortable about gathering with our family in a large group during this time. I will not be engaging in any embraces or physical contact with the family because of this.”
EXPRESSING YOUR OPINION RESPECTFULLY Just because you and your family may disagree about certain topics doesn’t mean that you should avoid the conversation altogether! There are ways to express your opinion respectfully and without offending anyone. In an interview with CBC News, psychologist Melissa Hoskins discusses how to have tough conversations about vaccines with family. She recommends using the DEARMAN acronym as a tool to get you through difficult conversations. • D – Describe the situation. Be neutral and factual in your description. • E – Express your feelings using “I” statements to demonstrate accountability for your emotions. • A – Assert Yourself. Be clear in the ways you need support and what your needs are. • R – Reinforce your requests. • M – Mindfulness. Be aware and present in the moment. • A – Appear confident. Don’t be afraid to ask for support in meeting your needs. Your feelings are valid! • N – Negotiate. Listen to your
