Illustrations by Jerry Bennett
The plot is thickening faster than Low-Country Queso in the Swadley’s Foggy Bottom Kitchen saga. Out of the way is Jerry Winchester, the former executive director of the Oklahoma Tourism and Restaurant Department, who tendered his resignation last month. No word on whether his burger will remain on the menu. But chain restaurant owner Brent Swadley is serving up heaping helpings of pathos after Kevin gave him the old Trumpian “never knew him” treatment. “Let me be clear, I do not have any sort of relationship with Brent Swadley. I don’t know Brent Swadley. I have no involvement in this contract,” Stitt told reporters. The test results are in and that’s definitely another lie. He serves up
so many of them it’s a wonder they’re not a menu item at Foggy Bottom. Even though there’s a plaque at the Roman Nose State Park location from Kevin that reads, “I had a special time with my two boys at beautiful Roman Nose State Park and the food, wow, the food was fantastic,” he doesn’t know anything about the restaurant. Oh, and let’s not forget the photo with Swadley and Stitt that surfaced as well. “What Kevin Stitt said, I mean, I was in tears, I couldn’t believe he was going to act like he doesn’t know me,” Swadley told KOKH, the Fox affiliate in Oklahoma City
(though poor Brent might have mistaken it for Fox News considering how gullible he at least pretends to be). Here are some of Swadley’s other dishes: • “We are as shocked as can be.” • “I would love for someone to start to consider that we might be the victims here.” • “We may be the ones who’ve been corrupted against.” • “I didn’t even know there was a state fire marshal.” Former President Donald Trump
once famously said, “What you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening.” Stitt is happy to take a play from the same book knowing that Republicans don’t mind being served a heaping plate of bullshit.
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