NEXUS
MARAMARA MARAMARA KŌRERO KŌRERO / 专栏 / 专栏
Whelmed Imposter Syndrome by Rachael Elliott
Dave Snell
The smarter you are the more likely you are to struggle with your mental health. I dunno whether thatissue makes more orparticularly less likely A significant in y’all University, to hit the skids to be honest. You did make for those coming close to graduation, is it into uni, but then you actually choseyou to Imposter Syndrome. This is where come here education is the feel like youwhen don’thigher belong, don’t deserve biggest money-making scam the boomers the success or good feedback, and you’re managed since housingto crisis so… Jury’s just waiting forthe someone ‘realise’ that out. you’re faking it and point and laugh all the way back to Tai Tokerau, you miserable Recent stats from the NZ help Health little malingerer. It doesn’t thatsurvey often reported that women aged 15-24 were when you first start out at university people experiencing anxiety and depression at will try to allay your fears and say “just double the rate of men the same age, and fake it till you make it”. But then you start Māori are do 1.5I know times that moreI’ve likely to thinkingyouth – when made have a diagnosis of anxiety disorder than it? I was excited that I was going to finish non-Māori. Our non-binary, gender my doctorate andtrans, my Imposter Syndrome queer, and takatāpui whānau are even would go. I’d be Dr Dave. A doctor more can’t marginalised, so they’re even deeper the feel like an imposter. Everyone I knowinwith hole. letters after their name seems so confident and assured. My lecturers all talk for years So don’t andtheories tell me and thatarticles. there isn’t a about thetry latest societally constructed, gender specific, kyriarchal component to our mental health I’m sorry to say, my experience of Imposter crisis. The effect of gender-roles and theI Syndrome never left. When I realised this, negative experiences of these throughout panicked. Would I always feel like a poser? your starting even Am I life, Kim often Kardashian in abefore Slayer you shirt? Or realise what is happening, is a very large worse, am I a court jester in a tweed jacket? and factora for mental Quickspecific you’re risk wearing Freud shirt,illness. name Not to mention the fact that we’re three stages of development! Oral, usually Anal… left literally holding baby (or the Dammit, I can onlythe remember thesibling, funny or parent or grandparent). Despite being the gold fucking standard of humanity, wom*n (yes, all wom*n, 16 N.09 / V. 55
inclusive) are being thrown under the fucking bus. In every country from which data available, in every and ones!is Snap! You’re still racial, fakingethnic, it; you’re age group, from every historical period: not a true psychology graduate. Down the we have men snake backlower to thearrest start rates of thethan game, like for an all crime categories except prostitution academic Snakes and Ladders. In all honesty (which shouldn’t be a crime, sex go work is I don’t think this feeling will ever away work). Several peer-reviewed studies over for me, it's quite a big part of who I am. It’s the last few decades shown that important to see what thehave hell this Imposter wom*n outperform men in many of the Syndrome ‘thing’ is doing to me, and try and key areas that make for good leadership: make it work for me. Maybe these will work self-awareness, kindness, self-control, for you too. humility, social skills, and moral sensitivity. While usheavy in unprovoked - Thesemen days outperform there are very screening aggression, psychopathy, narcissism, greed, processes to get into anything. We’ve all and thethrough kinds ofmega Machiavellian tendencies jumped hoops just to get a part that things collarthrough crime, time create job in retail to like helpwhite us survive mishandling of a global pandemic and the uni, and had to compete against hundreds need for the #metoo movement. And yet of other applicants. Academic institutions they’re still in charge. And you still ask us are getting even harder to get into and a lot why we need feminism. of people are competing for scholarships.
If you got one (job or scholarship or even Anyway, digress. Why are wom*n more whateverI is the equivalent of University likely to struggle with their mental health Entrance these days), then chances are – than men? MaYBE HoRMoNEs? You Fucken DeserveiT’s It. ThEiR With all the new and Are wom*n more likely to be anxious and inventive ways HR tries to screw people, depressed because we do all the emotional congratulations! You foiled their nefarious labour or because aren’t to plans! You made it men through theallowed tuna net. have Either way youYou can thank the Keep feelings? telling yourself this. are here patriarchy, the you solution feminism. because ofand course are. is You are fucking fabulous. Perhaps we’re anxious and depressed because we’ve been sexualised since we were children? Nothing like never being sure if you can trust a person to keep you
on your toes. Perhaps we stillwho get paid - Hang it’s out because with people tell less you than men for doing the same work. Nothing that you’re fucken fabulous, but also tell like make youyou’re want you feeling when unappreciated you’ve slippedto up and to stay in bed ‘just’ all day.awesome. You want temporarily
people who can give you feedback so Maybe it’s just because we’ve been 10 they’re not sycophants. But attaught the same different notwant to be your rapedsoul but boys still time, youways don’t crushed haven’t rape That any timebeen you told havenot to to look upus? how to deep spell down, some men think they’re entitled to sycophant. Honest, but respectful. our smiles, our time, and our bodies, even when we say no. - If you’re struggling on an assignment and
your brain meats are trying to convince you Maybe we’re try all doing fuckedsomething up because you’re dumb, thatwe’re isn’t more likely taxing, to experience mentalto and so physically but still related the physical violence than men,essay and assignment. Whenand I’mabuse writing a long trauma directly linked to the Idevelopment or whenisI was doing my thesis, used to start of anxiety, depression, and host of other off by going back to the startaand editing my mental illnesses. work that I’ve already written. This helps me build up the confidence to tackle writing Maybe, until we sort that out, wom*n are some new content. going to struggle more with their mental health men. Metal while you work. It’ll - Listenthan to Power drown out the negative voices and make If you help? Valkyrie, Call out or your friend’s you feelwant like atoknight, wizard. shitty misogynistic jokes. Even just saying that youjust don’t get it, orMonique you don’t findnot it Overall, remember: does funnythat one small awkward moment is think you’re dumb. worth something huge. Because suddenly, the in 4 women in the room that have Take1Care. been sexually assaulted? Feel just a tiny bit safer. And that’s a tiny step in the right direction.
