N.17 / V.55

政治

POLITICS

TŌRANGAPŪ

NEXUS

Poli-Dicks Jak Rāta

Beach Volleyball This is a triumph in geography. Forget everything you know about the beach being some leisure destination, it’s far better suited as a factory spitting out sporting legends. Much like the clay tennis courts used in the French Open, we will boast the notoriously hot and unforgiving black sand courts at the Raglan Invitational. We also have a brilliant talent pool to lean on with both a women’s and men’s team ranked top 50 in the world.

World Sheep Dog Trials Perhaps worse than any All Black’s losing streak is the lack of a single World Sheep Dog Trial Championship. A black mark against New Zealand’s sporting reputation considering the farming pedigree stitched into the very fabric of our nation. It’s about time we changed all that.

Badminton The national team is called the Black Cox. I’m unsure what more you need to know.

Sammy goes whop

If you’ve been living with your head up someone's ass, don’t brag, we’re not all that lucky. But if you have, you’ve been too preoccupied to notice the absolute shitfest that is NZ politics my friend. There’s the absolute chaos of James Shaw being shunted out, or Hipkins being all but boo’d off the stage, oh and the less important Sam Uffindel being FUCKING suspended as they assess assault charges from his youth. Fucking what cunt? Sam Uffindell is under scrutiny as records of his being stood down in high school has resulted in an uproar as the public demand his resignation from the National Party. One of the more interesting responses is through forgiveness, as some state that people change and time should be taken into consideration. I’m not heartless and I think that people are capable of change, but beating a fellow peer with malicious intent – that’s a different kōrero. But accountability is important and it’s lowkey kinda racist as Metiria Turei was shunned for a WINZ fraud in the 90’s. Why is that any different? Also his assault, if tried as an adult, is a violent crime. Soooo, I’m not saying it’s worse, but it’s fucking worse. His response, while I’m sure is somewhat genuine, also came before his running for MP as the victim has come forth regarding a phone call from Uffindell months prior to his MP announcement. Surely some damage control right? What this means? My takeaway from this debacle is that the Government doesn’t really know how to handle scandalous events, and political parties' responses are genuinely bullshit as they damage control. Taking a look at the other possible candidates for Tauranga MP, I’m not entirely sure we’re getting the worst of the bunch. I mean, smoked weed and sunk piss? Lad.

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