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QUOTATIONPUZZLE
DIRECTIONS: Recreate a timeless nugget of wisdom by using the letters in each vertical column to fill the boxes above them. Once any letter is used, cross it out in the lower half of the puzzle. Letters may be used only once. Black squares indicate spaces between words, and words may extend onto a second line.
Solution on page 14.
Use the letters provided at bottom to create words to solve the puzzle above. All the listed letters following #1 are the first letters of the various words; the letters following #2 are the second letters of each word, and so on. Try solving words with letter clues or numbers with minimal choices listed. A sample is shown. Solution on page 14.
Aman applied for a job posting that read, “Hiring welders $15-$24 per hour.” An in-person interview was arranged that included a welding test.
He turned in two sets of welds, one that looked like a 5-year old did it and one that was absolutely perfect.
The boss looked at the two welds and asked for an explanation. The man replied, “The first one is a $15 an hour weld, and the second one is a $24 an hour weld.”
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
A priest, a minister and a rabbi.
A priest, a minister and a rabbi who?
A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into the wrong joke setup. The barman says “You shouldn’t be in here.” The priest replies “Well, we did knock.”
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Hawaii.
Hawaii who?
Fine. Hawaii you?
A new patient is being evaluated on his first day in a mental health facility.
To begin the interview, one of the doctors asked him what his name is.
“JFK, sir,” the man replied.
“Great,” muttered the doctor under his breath but loud enough for the patient to hear. “Just what we need, another president.”
“No!” said the patient. “I’m not the president. I’m the airport!”
A snail couple, Marvin and Marla, happened to be on a turtle’s back when the turtle started to walk.
“Hang on Marla!” said Marvin. “Here we go!”
Moe: I’ve heard that joke.
Joe: What joke?
Moe: The snail joke. You know what Marla screams back? She says, “Slow down, Marvin! You’re going to kill somebody!”
Moe: Plenty of hats have flat brims.
Joe: What does that have to do with anything?
Moe: Nothing really. I’m just wondering why cowboy hats curl up on the sides.
Joe: Oh, that’s easy. It’s so you can fit three cowboys in a pickup truck.
Moe: Do you know how to make gold soup?
Joe: Never heard of it. What’s the recipe?
Moe: You start with 24 carrots...
Moe: What is a Kraken’s favorite meal?
Joe: Fish and ships.
