Main & Broad August/September 2021

fun

memes

So you like to drink local ... ster∙e∙o∙type noun A set idea that people have about what someone or omething is like, especially an idea that is wrong.

WARNING!

Written by the Author of Fuquay-Varina Memes Photographed by Jonathan Fredin

FUQUAY-VARINA MEMES (also known as FVM) is a freelance writer, meme guru and an anonymous resident of Fuquay-Varina. She is the creator and manager of the FuquayVarina Memes Facebook page and has a talent for making people laugh and always taking the joke too far. Check out her blog at fvmwrites.com. fuquaymemes thefvmemes

60 August/SEPTEMBER 2021

This article is full of stereofacts and delightfully banal clichés that’ll have some of you whipping out your iPhones to complain via a STRONGLY WORDED EMAIL, but consider this — it’s already been published, the war has been won, and I really don’t care. I have been drinking living in Fuquay-Varina for 16 years and my time-honored observations, while not infallible, have a certain degree of merit. Does where you (consistently) drink in town say something about you? Are certain breweries frequented by particular types of people? The answer is a resounding YES, and I’m here to tell you all about it (I’ve had a drink at all of these establishments, so make of that what you will).

BOMBSHELL BEER COMPANY, HOLLY SPRINGS In case you didn’t know, Bombshell Beer Company is a women-led brewery that touts itself as both a family- and dog-friendly business. Saying that, this brewery SPEAKS FOR US ALL when they clarify that they are “well-behaved children-friendly” on their website. In other words, keep your destructive demon offspring off of their picnic tables, this ain’t Sesame Street! Jokes aside, if you drink at Bombshell then chances are you live within a 3-mile radius of the brewery, you’re trying to escape a middle-schooler at home, or you’re enjoying a ladies night with the “craziest girls you know,” (so Sarah and Deb from the cul-desac). Oh, and your names are probably Shelly or Doug. I don’t make the rules.

CRAFT BEER REIGNS SUPREME IN SOUTHERN WAKE, AND SO TOO, DOES TYPECASTING. CHEERS!

OAKLYN SPRINGS BREWERY, FUQUAY-VARINA Oaklyn Springs brewery is, what I like to call, a catch-all brewery, meaning that they attract a variety of different customers with wildly different backgrounds. We’ve got the Kyles from Garner, the fancy Fuquay folks who “appreciate a good sour,” and the Holly Springs residents who “know a place.” Oaklyn Springs somehow manages to cater to moms in yoga pants, old men in overalls and guys in pleated, no-iron chino pants from Lands’ End. Seriously, it’s like if Target and Walmart had a brewery love child.