2020 MEDICAL YEAR IN REVIEW
Face-Mask-to-Face Medicine By Madeline Ruszala, UIWSOM, OMS-IV
Knock, knock. The door swings open and I’m nervously thrust into the exam room. Out of habit, I reach out to shake the patient’s hand as I introduce myself, “Good morning, I’m Student Doctor Ruszala. It’s nice to meet you.” The patient raises his eyebrows in a look of confusion as I pull my hand back unshaken. I realize in that moment that I’m not learning to practice medicine in the same world I was in just a few months ago. I smile and wonder if he can see the smile in my eyes because the rest of my face is hidden behind my mask and under my shield. This mask may be only one millimeter thick, but it feels like a concrete wall between the patient and me in that moment. Ten weeks prior, cases of COVID-19 began to surge in the United States and medical students across the country were pulled out of hospitals and clinics as a protective measure to reduce exposure and conserve the personal protective equipment supply. We were told that it would be a two-week pause in clinical rotations as we attempted to “flatten the curve” across the country. Fourteen days quickly turned into six weeks and then ten weeks. I had spent the past two months at home, avoiding the grocery store, completing coursework on Zoom, trying to explain to my one-year-old daughter why the park was closed, and worrying about what the future would hold. How would this af24
SAN ANTONIO MEDICINE • December 2020
fect my medical education? Would I have the opportunity to learn everything I needed to know to become a physician? Would I be able to graduate on time? Questions such as these raced through my mind day and night. Being taken off my rotation due to a global pandemic was a paradox. I had chosen to pursue medicine because I wanted to help people when they were unwell. I understood that being around patients with communicable diseases would be a risk to myself and my family. I knew that I would likely get sick more frequently than others. However, I never considered I would live to see a pandemic like this. I surely never expected to be told that when the healthcare needs of the country were at their peak, I should stay home. The level of internal conflict this brought was painful. I wanted to be there to help. I wanted to put my training to good use. I knew that I was not quite ready to treat patients on my own, but there had to be some way I could be helpful when the hospitals and doctors were overtaxed. And yet, what I was being asked to do was “stay home and stay safe.” My part in helping to control the spread of this illness was not in the clinics; it was in my own home. My role was staying out of public places and encouraging my loved ones to do the same, especially in the
