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TEXT OR NOT AMANDA BARDY, Liberty University Alumna, Class of 2015
Those first few days (or weeks, months, etc.) of separation after your student leaves for college can be agonizing. Often, for the first time, they are living miles away from you instead of coming home each evening, and it is normal to want to fill that physical void with digital communication. It’s right there at your fingertips — the ability to connect with your student in an instant. But how much texting is too much? The admittedly ambiguous answer is it depends. It depends on your student’s personality, your relationship with them, and their needs. Going to college is a vital step in growing more independent, and your student has to learn many lessons through their own
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experiences. Overcommunication can do more harm than good, as they may feel hindered from fully living in the season they are in. In order to find that balance, there are a few steps you can take. Before saying your goodbyes, talk with your student about what they expect your communication to look like while they are away. Respect their desires, regardless of how much you may want to check in with them. The next step you can take is to be relationally aware. Pay attention to how often and how quickly your student responds to your texts and calls, and note how often they initiate conversation. It will vary from student
to student, even within the same family, and that’s okay! Anecdotally, I texted or called my mom at least five times each week while I was in college, whereas my brothers were more likely do so once or twice a month. If you want a minimum of how often you can reach out via text, most parents agree that checking in once a week is enough to show that you care and you’re involved without being too invasive. The key is to be conscious of your student’s wants, needs, and desires and to love them well, even from afar.
