8 minute read
Beating the Holiday Blues
By Joy H. Coleman
The holidays are a wonderful time lled with anticipation and happiness for many families. But for some, winter holidays can bring di cult thoughts about family, relationships and social lives. We dread managing di cult family con icts, meeting perceived social standards and smothering feelings of grief and loss to present the façade of “happiness.” Even our most optimistic friends—and ourselves— can develop the blues.
To avoid them, we’re guided to do many things. Foremost is working to keep personal expectations realistic and doable. So often, we forget that our holidays don’t have to be perfect to be special. They don’t have to be like past experiences to have meaning. Holidays change just as we change. Kids grow up, people move away and new people become a part of our lives. But, for many of us, stress, change and emotions are a risky business. Regardless of why the blues appear, in addition to talking with a counselor, here are some ideas to make your holidays comfortable.
REACH OUT
Share how you feel during your worst day with trusted loved ones. If possible, surround yourself with family members and friends. If you’re grieving a death, down in the dumps or if you can’t be with your loved ones for any reason, it’s natural to feel sad. Sometimes, it’s natural to be sad for no reason. Loved ones will support your hope that better days are ahead. It’s di cult, but work to listen to their experiences so you will feel less alone. Try to recognize they may provide options for support that you don’t yet know about or understand. Never underestimate the power and love of your tribe.
DETERMINE WHAT YOU CAN AND CANNOT DO
Holidays can mean there are too many people asking for your time. Parties can become stressful obligations, and favors for friends can morph into something much more. It’s ok to say, “No” and pace yourself. You’re one person and there is only so much you can do on a given holiday. Try not to take on more than you can handle. Pay attention to your feelings and, if you’re overwhelmed, respond and act on it. Limit your time with those who add to your blues. Counselors can teach you how to set boundaries.
REASSESS YOUR EXPECTATIONS AND BUILD REALISTIC ONES
Expectations set us up for disappointment. If you’re dissatis ed, work to let go of what you thought things “should” or “ought” to be. Many people think of holidays in terms of what “always” happened. That’s not quite on target. Holidays can be appreciated today with what is here, in front of us, instead of seeing disappointment because today isn’t a picture-perfect holiday of past memories or what we usually see in advertising photos.
WORK TO ENJOY THE PRESENT
Make an e ort to be optimistic. Don’t embrace failure by comparing “today” with past “good old days.” Isolation is a huge risk factor for the blues and they can make you want to hide. Lonely? Ask a friend over, meet somewhere or volunteer to help others. Helping out in any way connects you with others and can ease loneliness. Yes, it sounds hokey, but volunteering is healthy. It gives meaning and purpose, builds empathy for others, shows that you do matter and are contributing to society.
HOLIDAY SELF-CARE
With seasonal stressors like end-of-year work deadlines, gift shopping and hosting potentially weighing on you, plus all those extra sweets and indulgent foods to nibble on, the holiday season may be the happiest time of year, but it’s not always the healthiest. Here’s a few tips to help you take better care of yourself during the holiday season.
PROTECT YOUR SKIN
You may be aware that the more free radicals you have in your body, the more skin damage can accumulate over time. But did you know that exposure can be particularly high during the holiday season? There are a few reasons for this. One is that cooler temperatures are linked to sugar cravings, making sweet treats especially hard to resist at a time of year when there are so many to choose from. Increased sugar intake can boost the production of advanced glycation end products, and ultimately unwanted free radicals. In general, diets high in fat, sugar and processed foods can contribute to free radical production, as can stress.
Fortunately, you can take steps to protect your skin by using skincare products that incorporate collagen-stimulating ingredients like vitamin C, retinoids and peptides in addition to using a topical broad-spectrum sunscreen.
MOVE DAILY
Be sure to take time for yourself each day to receive the combined physical and mental health bene ts of movement. Head outdoors for a morning or afternoon walk to get some fresh air, improved blood circulation and some moodboosting sunlight during the short, dark days of winter. To promote agility, exibility and relaxation, take a few minutes to unwind with some meditation or gentle yoga.
PRACTICE HEALTHY HABITS
Holiday o ce parties and family gatherings often involve indulging in the kinds of food and drink that can leave you feeling more dehydrated, bloated and fatigued than you might normally. Counteract these e ects by adopting healthy habits now that you can carry into the new year. Drink plenty of water each day, and incorporate deca einated green tea, coconut water or smoothies into your routine for added electrolytes.
GET HIGH-QUALITY SLEEP EACH NIGHT
For better shut-eye, avoid ca eine and blue-light exposure before bedtime, and keep your bedroom temperature comfortable and consistent.
While it can be hard to set aside time in your schedule when there’s so much to do, a bit of daily self-care is sure to have a restorative e ect that helps you refresh, reset and be more focused.
Volunteering gives the gift of being part of something more than yourself. VolunteerMatch.com can help you nd the right t in your area. The best gift we can give is our focused attention. There’s always work and we must answer emails, return calls, etc. But, while you are with loved ones, erase those thoughts. Put away everything that reminds you of stu that has nothing to do with the moment. Join conversations without thinking about what’s waiting for you. Be there, with them, right then.
MAKE A LIST AND PRIORITIZE
Certain activities are important to you. Listing and prioritizing them helps holiday tasks become manageable. Don’t pour all your talent into one day. Let go of frustration, resentment and anger. Sometimes emotions get the better of us. Negative emotions don’t hurt anyone but us. Step back to review and understand your feelings. You might be able to lose negativity, maybe forgive and move on with your life. Consider: create a gratitude list. Listing what we’re thankful for is a powerful exercise. This can be anything—such as health or family—but the act of identifying gratitude increases joy.
PLAN AHEAD
On your calendar, set speci c days and times for shopping, cooking, connecting with friends and other activities. You might want to try something new: maybe even create your own traditions! Every holiday brings new blessings and challenges. Build exibility in your traditions by making room for the zigs and zags of life. Who knows? A new door may open.
KEEP HEALTHY HABITS
Don’t let your holidays overcome your habits. Overindulgence only adds to stress and guilt. Things to do: stay active and get outdoors. It’s hard to stick to a workout schedule when you’re down, but staying active is one of the best ways to cope with the blues. Limit your drinking: alcohol is a depressant that only magni es negative feelings. Avoid using it as a way to deal with di cult emotions. Do not overspend: keep track of holiday spending. You will only set yourself up for trouble.
TAKE A BREATHER AND MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF
Taking care of yourself is especially important at this time. Find a way to clear your mind. Set aside speci c times to relax: even 15 minutes a day to rest quietly, listen to music, take a bath or do yoga greatly reduces stress levels. Also, write down your favorite coping tools to beat the blues back. Write it yourself, get ideas from family members or from your therapist. Tape it to the refrigerator as a daily reminder there is always something you can do to lift your mood.
May the season bring you peace, serenity, happy memories and joy. ■
Do you experience depression during the holidays? YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
45%
of Americans dread the holiday season.
WOMEN
are more likely than men to be negatively a ected during the holidays.
HOLIDAY STRESS
has a bigger impact on lower middle income individuals.
of people feel an increase in stress over the holidays A lack of time replaces work as the #1 cause of stress during the holidays of people stress out over the pressure to give gifts of people report eating to reduce stress during the holiday season
MORE THAN
YOUNG ADULTS
Coming home from college for the holidays often experience depression from a loss of their newfound independence.
THIS YEAR, NEARLY
SAD
In areas without much sunlight during the winter, people are susceptible to Seasonal A ective Disorder (SAD)
24% CLAIM THAT
of Americans feel the last three months of the year are the most stressful are more concerned about the price of holiday meals, than gifts or travel
blowouts among extended family members causes serious stress and tension during the holidays
