!!!February 22, 2024
The Northern Rivers Times
WINE 51 Max Crus is a Clarence Valley-based wine writer and Grape Expectations is now in its 27th year of publication. Find out more about Max or sign up for his weekly reviews and musings by visiting maxcrus.com.au
Grape Expectations by Max Crus
Things that go beep in the... car.
Max Crus oubtless cars are far safer now than they were even just a few years ago, certainly than they were when Barnaby Joyce was a boy, but do they have to rub that smug cleverness in our faces (and ears) every time when get in? Yes, seatbelts are good and fewer people die by flying through windscreens. Power-steering, powerbrakes, better suspension,
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anti-lock, anti-skid, antilane change, anti-speed, Volvos, crumple zones, auto breaking, you name it, have all contributed to cars killing fewer people, yet still we manage it. Sorry to bring up Barnaby again but there will always be idiots and that poor bugger can’t take a trick, nor perform one evidently. However we must feel sorry for him. He is entitled to idiocy, to fall
off stuff, or bonk whomever he likes, without the media moralising about it, just as we should be able to be idiots in our cars without being constantly reminded. These days your new car will have more bells and whistles than a Morris dancing troupe at a footy match, and you cannot turn them off. I tried. “You wouldn’t think cutting one little wire would have such devastating
effect”, the NRMA mechanic said. Cars go beep if you don’t belt-up, but what if you’re dawdling up the driveway at 5kmh and constantly getting in an out picking up toys or Ms L’s discarded garden furniture? Cars go beep if a door or boot is ajar and won’t shut up until it’s not. My car has an electric, push-button boot, couldn’t it just close it for me?
Your car probably beeps if you exceed the speed limit or change lanes without informing it of your intentions. My car beeps if I’m too close to another, but its idea of ‘too close’ is way different to mine, and it applies the brakes way sooner, and way HARDER! Sometimes my car beeps without reason, possibly related to going over bumps. How helpful. I know I have been over
a bump, I was there, remember, and having done so there’s nothing I can do about it. What possible purpose does a beep (two actually) serve? There’s ample research into the ill-effects of drinking too much alcohol but imagine if you got beeped every time you overdid it? Probably wouldn’t hear it over the laughter at Barnaby falling off the planter box again.
(Wine X Sam) The Butterfly Effect Victoria Shiraz 2022, $14 ($10 via Naked Wines). Exactly what you’d expect from a bright and playful label, bright and playful shiraz ideal for just about any butterfly recipes, specially barbecued marinated butterfly wings. 9.1/10. Wine by Sam Heathcote
‘Tait Hamilton Vineyard’ (Single Vineyard) Shiraz 2020, $49 ($27 via Naked Wines). Similar to the ‘Butterfly’ label, the stylish, modern, simplicity of this is clear indication a lot of care has gone into attracting the right audience. Perhaps not an audience given to excess and getting beeped, but they will be tempted. Bit like
trying to drive a Ferrari at the speed limit. 9.5/10. Chateau Tanunda Barossa Valley ‘The Chateau’ Bethanian Shiraz Single Vineyard 2022, $40. Those unfamiliar with the Barossa may not know that ‘Bethanian’ is a of a place not a girl. Not that such a sweet, demur name can’t go with such a bold and
forthright shiraz. Surely there’s Bethanys like that in the world? 9.4/10. Chateau Tanunda Eden Valley The Chateau Single Vineyard Chardonnay 2023, $40. It’s hard to believe that you get such cool-climate, crisp and refined character from right next door to the Barossa, but you do. Lovely chardonnay
with a high ‘beep’ factor and only 665 cases so you might be too late already. 9.5/10. Knappstein Clare Valley Malbec 2021, $25. Clare Valley reds are delightful, specially if you haven’t had one for a while and the novelty of malbec adds just that little bit extra reward. 9.3/10. Hugo Family Estate Mc
Laren Vale Nero d’Avola 2021, $30. McLaren Vale is the unofficial if not the official home of nero’ (Sicily’s great grape) in Australia and the alluringly simple packing of this version sets a good standard for the cause with equally alluring, simple yet rich characters and flavours. 9.4/10.
