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Rupture And Repair
“A
by Heather Medley, LPC
ll this is from God, who through
usually involves three things: the ability to identify
Christ reconciled us to himself and
there has been a rupture, the courage to move
gave us the ministry of reconciliation”
toward one another, and the humility to offer an
(2 Corinthians 5:18). Within the constructs of psychotherapy, there
apology or forgiveness. If a person can identify that there has been a break
is a simple yet profound idea called “rupture and
in connection, invite a conversation to reconcile, and
repair.” The term “rupture” describes when a person
offer either a sincere apology or forgiveness, repair is
experiences a loss of trust or connection with another. The term “repair” describes
well on its way. Although this concept is popular in modern psychology, it
the work two people need to do to regain trust and
did not begin there.
connection. The dance of
“Rupture and repair” is
rupture and repair is a
the underlying theme
determining factor in the
in all of Scripture.
survival of a relationship.
Beginning in Genesis, there was a rupture in
Most of us experience small ruptures off and on throughout each day. We yell at our child for being too slow putting on their shoes, a friend
the relationship between Adam and Eve and God in the garden of Eden, and Jesus completed the work to restore the
doesn’t respond well to a text, or our
connection. Matthew 5:23-24 gives
partner sarcastically says something
instructions to repair a relationship with
about us with passive aggression. All of these are tiny ruptures, but there are big
your friend before offering anything at the altar, and Paul in 2 Corinthians 5:18 says,
ruptures as well. A spouse has an affair, friends
“All this is from God, who through Christ
gossip about you to another friend, or a colleague
reconciled us to himself and gave us the
calls you stupid. Ruptures are unavoidable and can be harmful if left without care, but the ability to repair is the
ministry of reconciliation.” I am thankful for a God who gives us a model of repair and the hope that repair gives to all relationships.
sign of emotional maturity and the mark of thriving involved in the rupture do to reconcile and restore trust and connection. Repairing a relationship
32 // May 2021
About The Author
relationships. Repair is the work that the two people Heather Medley is a licensed professional counselor, speaker, and published author. She loves neuroscience research papers, bargain shopping, and laughter. She resides in Rome with her delightful kiddos and steady husband.
