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Things to do in Detroit when it's hot AF
SUMMER
Things to do in Detroit when it’s
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HOT AFDetroit gets a very small window to enjoy outside before it’s time to dig out the Carhartt jackets and Timberland boots. Safe to say, we make the most of the sunshine when we do have, but sometimes the high heat is just unbearable. Just n The Reptarium 45559 Van Dyke, Utica; because the temperature 586-884-6646; thereptarium.com might be six degrees past The Reptarium o ers a hands-on petting hell doesn’t mean that all of zoo experience sure to get your scales — uh your fun has to be spent at skin — crawling. Lizards? Check. Snakes? Absolutely. It’s available for birthday parties home, though. There are art and private tours, too. The Reptarium is your museums, beaches, and even place for all things reptile, without having to a nude resort if the idea of venture outdoors. clothes in 90 degree weather is n Sea Life Aquariumunbearable to you. 4316 Baldwin Rd., Auburn Hills; 248-409-6001; visitsealife.com Sebastian did his best to try to keep Ariel under the sea, and the Sea Life Aquarium o ers you the chance to see what he was talking about. It’s Michigan’s largest aquarium, with 2,000 aquatic creatures including sharks, stingrays, and sea turtles.
n Northland Roller Rink
22311 W. Eight Mile Rd., Detroit; 313-535-1666; northlandrink.com Nothing beats gliding on a wooden rink — in the A/C. Grab your skates and lace up at Detroit’s famous Northland Roller Rink, where DJ Moodymann throws his “Soul Skate” roller-disco party around the time of Detroit’s Movement electronic music festival.
n Glenlore Trails
3860 Newton Rd., Commerce Charter
Twp.; glenloretrails.com In 2020, Bluewater Technologies, a Southfield-based company that provides audiovisual technology for large-scale events like the North American International Auto Show, had to pivot due to the pandemic. That resulted in Glenlore Trails, an immersive, illuminated experience that saw a half-mile trail in Commerce Township outfitted in custom light and sound installations. The company has since updated it for Halloween and the winter holidays, with new installations that help flesh out the installation’s characters and storylines.
n Turtle Lake Clothing Optional Resort
2101 Nine Mile Rd., Union City; 517-741-7004; turtle-lake.net OK — so this might be a two-hour drive from Detroit, but it o ers a unique and stripped-down socially distanced experience that would likely get you arrested anywhere else. Turtle Lake Clothing Optional Resort in Union City is exactly what it sounds like. Is there a better way to shed the shackles of conformity, societal judgment, and unpleasant chafing than by getting nude with strangers? Opened in the 1980s as a traditional camping resort experience, Turtle Lake ditched the clothing requirement sometime around 2003, when it transitioned into quite possibly Michigan’s best clothing-optional getaway. They have pools, hot tubs, a tiki bar, a range of outdoor sporting activities, as well as a private beach where skinny dipping is encouraged.
n Grab some ice cream
Metro Detroit really likes ice cream. Even though our warm season is short, there are
People relaxing on Belle Isle Beach on a sunny day.
ice cream stands on street corners all over the state hawking custards, creams, and non-dairy treats. Do one better and treat yourself to your own ice cream tour — just remember to pack some Lactaid.
n Aloha Tiki Tours
Available out of Sindbad's Restaurant & Marina, 100 Saint Clair St., Detroit;
Blossom Heath Park and Pier, 24800 Jefferson Ave., St. Clair
Shores; 507 Biddle Ave., Wyandotte; alohatikitours.com Since 2019, Aloha Tiki Tours has o ered two-hour tours of the Detroit River via a fleet of Bluetooth speaker-equipped octagonal floating tiki boats where up to six guests are invited to BYOB. (Don’t worry, each boat has a sober captain.) The tours cost $275-$300 Monday-Thursday and $300-$325 Friday-Sunday. The company also debuted a tiki-themed pedal pub, which the owners claim is the world’s first. The thatch roof and bamboo-accented Tiki Bar Bike leaves from Bookies Bar and Grill (2208 Cass Ave., Detroit; 313-962-0319; detroitrollingpub.com) and can seat 16. Like the Aloha Tiki Tour boats, drinks are BYOB, and tours are two hours.
n Great Lakes Surf Shop
23517 Nine Mack Dr., St. Clair
Shores; 586-359-6951; greatlakessurf. com/kite Go fly a kite! Better yet, go kitesurfing, which sounds both made up and super dangerous. But Great Lakes Surf Shop specializes in making sure your water sports potential is fulfilled. OK — so you’re not gonna learn how to kiteboard at their St. Clair Shores retail location, but at the shop’s a liated Great Lakes Kiteboarding school, which started in 2002. They o er camps and private lessons on Lake St. Clair. Not feeling ready to hit the high seas? They’ve got paddle-boarding lessons, too.
n Sail away
313-574-5684; detroitsails.com Someone once said that owning a boat is basically owning a hole in the water that you throw money into, and for that reason we will likely never be boatowners, because in order to throw money into a hole, you have to have money to throw which, well, you get the idea. But to get a taste of how the other half lives, there’s Detroit Sails, which conducts two-hour sails on the Detroit River for up to four guests. They o er day sails and sunset sails. Oh, and it’s BYOB, so you can celebrate never having to deal with owning a boat.
n Hit Belle Isle Beach
99 Pleasure Dr., Detroit; 313-821-9844; belleisleconservancy.org Despite the rocky shores and copious amounts of goose shit, Detroit’s Belle Isle is the perfect place to tan on a sunny day with priceless views of the Detroit skyline. If you need to escape the sun, there’s also the Belle Isle Aquarium and the Nature Center, where you can enjoy specimens of some of Michigan’s native species.
