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Bad ideas 101: Let’s conduct a Faygo taste test Whoop whoop, my ninjas. On a recent trip through Mancos, we noticed the P & D Grocery carries around seven different flavors of Faygo soda. Naturally, we bought the six flavors they had in stock and decided to conduct a little taste test. What’s that? You’ve never heard of Faygo? Let us fill you in. Founded in 1907 as the Feigenson Brothers Bottling Works, Faygo was created by Russian immigrants Ben and Perry Feigenson. The Detroit-based soda manufacturer is said to have based their original three flavors – fruit punch, strawberry, and grape – on family cake frosting recipes. In the early 1990s, Detroit hip hop duo Insane Clown Posse referenced the hometown soda brand in a number of their songs. At a show in 1993, Violent J (one half of the duo) threw an open bottle of Faygo at members of the audience who were flipping him off. For whatever reason, this got a positive response from the concert-goers. Since then, “Faygo Showers” – spraying each other with Faygo (and ostensibly drinking it as well) has become a popular practice among Juggalos and Juggalettes, the clown-faced fans of the music group. Like virtually everything that happens at their annual Gathering of the Juggalos, it’s delightfully gross. The soda was crazy cheap at $.75 per 20 ounce bottle, and since we don’t see it that often, we decided to see what the big deal was. We originally envisioned our test would feature a panel of experts, but thanks to the coronavirus and social distancing, we had to settle for one bored guy isolated in his house. (We aren’t taking ICP member Shaggy 2 Dope’s advice of eating dirty snow to stave off infection.) Here’s what we found:
Nick Gonzales/DGO
»» Long before it was co-opted by the Insane Clown Posse, Faygo was founded by two Russian immigrants over a century ago. Faygo Cola: Smelling just a bit like damp cardboard, this one didn’t taste like most mainstream cola brands. If we had to choose its closest cousin, it’d probably be
RC Cola, but the Faygo version lacked any sort of a bite. It was mostly just a weak interpretation of what a cola Continued on Page 9
Ska Brewing hard seltzers should be a virtual happy hour staple during the COVID-19 crisis One of the many staples of the coronavirus experience is virtual happy hours. If you’re not doing them already, please start living your best life and get on it. It’s a great way to feel like you’re hanging out with friends and to show off whatever happens to be in your sad coffee mug that evening — be it wine or just straight tequila. Whatever floats your boat.
We dedicated many a hour sipping on these in our living room, and decided it was about time the world knew our hard seltzer thoughts. Blood Orange
I was bracing myself for this drink to be a lot sweeter than it was, but if you’re the type of person who gets nauseous just looking at a can of blood orange hard seltzer because you can imagine During a rare grocery store run, we how sickeningly sweet it probably is, happened to run across a variety pack think again. Ska does a good job of walkof Ska Brewing’s hard seltzers recently ing that line and holds back on overloadreleased to the masses. Because of our ing it with sugar. It has just enough of many, many upcoming virtual happy an orange essence to keep you reaching hours (we’re very popular, OK?!), we found ourselves adopting one of the box- for another can without feeling guilty. Besides, how can you look yourself in the es and bringing it home with us for said happy hour purposes. Not only that, but mirror after saying “no” to blood-orange flavored anything? we also needed to lay off the beers.
However, as a sugar fiend, I would not mind another 9897324823 grams of sugar with my hard seltzer. OK, OK, I know that’s not the point of hard seltzers, but let me have this! Hibiscus Lime While I am a fan of lime, I was a bit nervous about popping open this can. Obviously I will consume anything at this point, but I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect with this one, and I found myself pleasantly surprised by this one. Turns out, hibiscus lime is a great pairing with the bitterness of hard seltzer. The two, we found, go together like a booze-dipped peanut butter and jelly sandwich, just with a lot less sugar and carbs. It had a nice bite to it, with a lime-flavored aftertaste that kept me
awake for these late-night virtual happy hours. Black Raspberry This was my personal favorite of the whole bunch. Not gonna lie, I thought my favorite was going to be blood orange, but I instead found myself immediately finishing off these cans first out of the bunch. This one was a total winner in my book. I love the cool, tart flavor of raspberry, and the longer I drank these cans, the smoother they got. Out of all the flavors, I felt that black raspberry emerged the most between each sip. There was no mistaking this fruity flavor, which is simultaneously not overpowering for those who can’t say “no” to fruity drinks. —— Amanda Push
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