CULTURE CLASH (WOMEN’S ISSUES)
Meditating About Menopause by Pat McGrew SO, YOU THINK YOU ARE BAT SHIT CRAZY NOW? OH HONEY, JUST WAIT. Menopause is coming, maybe not soon, but when it does, you will meet head-on with a whole new level of cra-cra-crazy. The trick is how to make this change work in your favor. The bad news is that you can’t look back on menopause after it is over and have a re-do. So LISTEN UP and hear what I wish I could re-do and what I managed to do right. Point # 1 is to embrace the simple truth. It isn’t you acting like a freaking bitch and losing control. It’s your hormones carrying out a full-blown attack on your body and your mind and trying to take over everything from your relationships to your waistline. Those little chemicals that used to be your friends turn on you with the full force of Mother Nature herself. Until you begin to take charge of the dreaded “change of life,” you will be stunned at the things you hear rolling out of your mouth and the absolute, terrible, torrential flood of emotions that run though you like a freight train. What will hit you next is “OMG, what happened to my V-jay-jay?” That sloppy fluid-soaked channel of joy just took a vacay in the Sahara Desert! Never fear; it is a natural part of the process. A pH-balanced slippery vag moisturizer will become your new best friend. Try Gynactil which is distributed nationwide exclusively from Galveston. Then, to my absolute horror, the source of my pride and ego, my hourglass shape, did WHAT? It melted and all the good parts drifted to lumps and bulged where I never expected to have them. If you ever thought that you didn’t have time for exercise, get over it and find the time. Your body will need it like never before, and so will your mind. Believe me, stress will become a word you use about a thousand times more than usual, and exercise helps with balancing the hormones that are causing it. Hit the gym for strength training or elliptical and treadmill time. Walking, biking or swimming can get the job done too. Or get your Zumba on. Dancing is fantastic, as it combines exercise with spirit18
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