TWITTERING ON
|
50 PLUS MAGAZINE
TWITTERING ON BY ANGELA KELLY It is, though, wonderful to see the honed talents competing, whether in exciting Luge and ice-hockey, soaring ski-jumping or elegant ice-dance. It all seems like another world, really, and it is. Only the Scots, who have the weather and the resilience, seem to be able to make their mark on any of the Winter Olympics. Thank goodness theyâre an important part of Team GB! Just love Roy Orbisonâs hit Only Baloney! ITâS something weâve all done at one time or another â singing the wrong words to a popular song with all the quiet confidence of someone who believes theyâve got it absolutely right. Winter Olympic fun warms up British audiences UNTIL just a month or two ago I donât think many of us knew a wick from a wobbler or a bone from a butter. But after the Winter Olympics from Beijing, weâve learned a lot about curling and snowboarding, which respectively boast these moves. Of course, one of the things weâve definitely learned is that there are a large number of other countries which are much better at everything from bobsleigh to biathlon than we are. Well, theyâve probably got both the snow and the resources to plough into such natural sports for them. They canât take the curling from the UK, though. Our girls, lead by Eve Muirhead, took gold in the final against Japan â going one better than our menâs team which took a valiant silver. The odd thing is that, for just a matter of a very few short weeks early in the year, we all become quite knowledgeable about Winter sports most of us will probably never think about for at least another 12 months.
This may be in the shower or, if weâre particularly brave, in the pub or another public place, probably joining in with others who may possibly be equally deluded. Watching the Kathryn Heigel film 27 Dresses on TV the other day brought home to me the delights of singing completely the wrong lyrics with real gusto. She totally mangled the Elton John song Benny and the Jets during a drunken evening in a bar but the results proved so entertaining. Checking on this general phenomenon, I discovered a book by Martin Toseland called The Ants Are My Friends: Misheard Lyrics, Malapropisms, Eggcorns and other Linguistic Gaffes. This is just a delight. For example, he discovered that some Adam and the Antsâ fans were happily singing âStab in the liver, your mummy or your wifeâ in Stand and Deliver instead of âStand and deliver, your money or your life.â Elvisâs Suspicious Minds apparently had the line âWeâre courting a trout, I canât walk outâ instead of âWeâre caught in a trap, I canât walk out.â
After all, we donât go out each Saturday afternoon with our mates to watch our favourite team in the biathlon or speed skating, do we?
Roberta Flackâs magnificent song Tonight, I Celebrate My Love To You translated to âTonight, I sellotape my glove to youâ by some poor souls with hearing problems.
Apart from those keen skiers and snowboarders who go to resorts to enjoy their sport, many of us never ski or skate.
And Dusty Springfieldâs ever-popular Son of a Preacher Man never boasted âThe only boy who could ever reach me was the son of a pizza man.â
The last time I went skating, my youngest daughter (now 38) fell and ended up in A & E with a suspected fractured elbow. It was a birthday treat and she and her pals (giddy eight year-olds) thought the best bit was sitting having their McDonaldsâ happy meals as increasingly grisly injuries trooped past. I digress. 10
Even soulful hits like Crystal Galeâs Donât It Make My Brown Eyes Blue are not exempt from lyric problems. I really donât think she meant âDoughnuts make my brown eyes blueâ, although you never know.
