GRUNION
YOU’VE GOBBLED YOUR LAST GOOL, CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS THERE’S BETTER ITALIANS THAN THAT GUIDO by Caroline Smith We can all agree that Columbus is a punk bitch. It makes absolutely no sense to celebrate that genocidal colonizer. And yet on October 11, much of America still does.
When people want to defend Columbus day without
outright admitting that they’re a bigot, they like to fall back on the Italian argument. Apparently, Columbus day is a source of pride for Italians. The holiday has been around since 1792, a time when Italians were marginalized immigrants and they had pride in an American holiday celebrating an Italian.
However as an Italian myself, I think that is very
stupid. There are much better, less genocide-y Italians that could be celebrated.
These are the quintessential Italian-Americans:
1. Stanley Tucci This man has done it all: “The Devil Wears Prada,” “Easy A,” “The Hunger Games,” “Captain America,” and “Kit Kittridge.” Every role he’s in is golden. Not only that, but his series “Searching for Italy,” where he explores authentic Italian foods and culture, has been essential viewing in Italian-American homes during quarantine across the country. You gotta love the Tooch. 26
22West_Outober_FinalCopy.indd 26
10/8/21 2:53 PM